skincare fixes a lot of things, but it won't stop you from spiraling over how much older aaron looks since he started dating you
pairings: aaron hotchner x bimbo!assistant!reader
warnings: a little bit of angst with a happy ending, avoiding serious conversations, miscommunication, relationship anxiety, reader being dramatic, fluffy ending <3
wc: 2.4k
request: here
You should have been happy. Just being here with him, sitting prettily on the couch, watching Aaron work from across the room.
Technically, this was spending time together. At least, in the most literal sense. But it didnât feel like it. Not when he was hunched over his laptop at the coffee table, composing something far more critical than whatever little fantasy you were spinning â one where heâd finally look up, reach for you, and decide whatever he was doing could wait.
You let out a sigh, sinking even deeper into the cushions like they might swallow you whole and spare you from the absolute nightmare that was this week.
First, you overslept (horrifying), which meant skipping your morning makeup routine (soul-crushing). Then, the demon printer decided to sabotage you, jamming right when you needed to print Aaronâs meeting notes. And if all that wasnât bad enough, some pointless, stupid, boring admin thing had you running around like a crazy person all week, like bureaucracy had personally conspired to keep you from your boyfriend.
After days of missing him, you were finally here, finally close⊠and he wasnât even looking at you.
You propped your chin on your hand, eyes glued to him like he was the sun and you were some poor little flower desperate for light.
He was always fascinating â the most beautiful thing in any room, any world even. But clearly, he had other priorities.
âAaron,â you purred, practically dripping his name in honey. âAre you mad at me?â
No response. No flick of an eye. You pouted, nose wrinkling in disbelief. That move had a 100% success rate, until now.
âDid you know stress ages you? You should really take a break before you get all wrinkly.â
A noncommittal hum. âYeah?â
âYeah,â you confirmed, undeterred. âStress literally destroys collagen. And collagen is really important, because it keeps everything tight and smooth. And did you know that working too much is the number one cause of frown lines?â You squinted. âLike, look at you right now â totally frowning.â
Nothing.
You sighed dramatically, rising from the couch, bare feet padding across the floor as you came to stand over him, arms crossing beneath your chest.
âYou know,â you mused, tapping a finger against your chin, âI should start taking my theories to someone who appreciates them. Like Derek. He listens. Actually engages. And ââ A pause. â â he always says I have the prettiest skin. â
Aaronâs fingers paused. âDonât even think about it.â
You clambered onto the coffee table, settling in right across from him, close enough that he had to look at you.
âI mean, if youâre too busy, I should explore my options, right? Maybe find a guy who ââ
âIâm not ignoring you for fun,â he interrupted, rubbing his jaw. âIâm busy because I have to be. You know that.â
Your playful smile wavered, wilting under a sudden frost. He wasnât just distracted. He wasnât just busy. His brow was tight with strain, his jaw set in a profound way that told you this wasnât about focus but stress. Exhaustion. He was drowning and you were whining about being left on the shore.
Iâm not ignoring you for fun.
Right. No, this wasnât a game. It wasnât a ploy. He wasnât looking past you to be cruel, he was looking past you because there were things more important than your vanity, deeper than your hunger for his attention. His burdens were real, the life-or-death kind, and here you were, pouting over the trivial. Over collagen. Over the absurd notion that Derek Morgan could actually take him from you.
Ugh. Guilt. The worst emotion. It was sticky and persistent, like mascara smudges that refused to budge no matter how hard you scrubbed. You swallowed, hands skating over your thighs as if you could rub it out, erase it, pretend you werenât feeling it at all.
âRight,â you mumbled, forcing a small smile, even though it felt a little wobbly. âSorry, baby. I know.â
His lips parted, but you didnât allow him to turn this into something serious.
You leaned in, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek before resting your hand against his jaw. His skin was warm, a little rough from the dayâs stubble.
âYouâre still, like, so handsome,â you murmured, thumb brushing over his cheekbone. âAnd I love you, obviously.â A breath. A softer smile. âSo itâs not like Iâd leave you for a younger man or anything.â
You meant for it to sound teasing. Light. But even you could hear the truth beneath it like a half-hidden bruise, the unspoken I know Iâm difficult, I know Iâm exhausting, but please still love me anyway.
Then you hopped off the coffee table, cheeks toasty, heart fluttering in a way that didnât feel entirely good. You took a step back, suddenly unsure of what to do with yourself.
You donât even remember leaving.
One moment, you were in Aaronâs living room, pressing a kiss to his cheek, and the next, you were unlocking your home door, feeling too much and not enough all at once, like youâd been yanked out of a dream before it could end adequately.
It was fine. You were fine.Â
You just needed to do your skincare routine â because skincare always made things better. It was science. The universal laws of serums and self-care. Youâd scrub away the bad feelings, tone down the overthinking (literally â with toner), and slather on a fresh start in the form of overpriced moisturizer.
Because if you just focused on the cleaners, on the circular motions, on fixing something, maybe you wouldnât feel so much like you needed him to come along and fix you.
You were being dramatic.
But still, you stared at yourself in the mirror, fingertips smoothing combinations into your skin, your thoughts hyper-focused on him.
His face, his worry lines, the little creases at his temples that did not exist before you came waltzing into his life in a cloud of perfume and poor decision-making. And the gray hairs. He didnât have those before either.
You were like stress in human form, a walking, talking wrinkle-generator. And wasnât that a fun little realization â that your presence was something his body wore, that your love had a terrible side effect.
And okay, yes, you loved the way he looked. He was the hottest man youâd ever seen, full stop, end of discussion. He wore stress the other way men wore tailored suits. But that didnât mean you wanted to be the reason for it. Werenât you supposed to make his life better? Less stressful? More fun?
You sniffled, trying â really trying â to push the thought away, to shove it into some quiet little corner of your mind where it couldnât hurt.
The knock at your door made you jump, a startled squeak slipping out. The serum bottle slipped from your fingers, clattering into the sink before rolling to a shaky stop.
Oh. Oh, no.
This was it. You knew this was going to happen eventually. Of course you were going to be a victim of some random, senseless crime, because you were too pretty to be left unattended. They always went for the pretty ones first. Statistically. Probably.
Grabbing the closest thing you could maybe pass as a weapon â your hairbrush, heavy-ish, but hardly lethal â you crept toward the door.Â
You pressed up on your toes to check the peephole â Aaron had very sternly instructed you never to open the door without looking first â and oh. It was him. You let out a massive breath, forehead knocking lightly against the door as you deflated.
You unlocked it quickly, yanking it open.
âOh my gosh, Aaron, do you want to give me a heart attack?â you gasped, shoving the hairbrush into his chest with all the righteous indignation of someone personally victimized by his existence. âI was about to murder you.â
He caught it without effort, blinking down at the would-be weapon. âWith this?â
You wrinkled your nose. âOkay, yes, I panicked. But letâs not pretend I wouldnât have landed at least one good hit.â
He smiled like he almost agreed, but then it faded, replaced by something quieter. He shoved his hands into his pockets.
âCan I come in, sweetheart?â
âOh! Yes, duh, sorry.â You spun on your heel, nearly tripping over your fuzzy slippers as you ushered him inside. âI didnât know you were coming.â
His frowned. âDid you not see my texts?â
âMy phone is charging.â
âSo you just⊠disappeared, ignored your phone, and then nearly assaulted me with a hairbrush?â
You shut the door behind him. âArenât you so glad youâre dating me?â
âImmensely.â
His tone was dry, but the way he reached for you was anything but. He hooked his fingers into the belt loops of your robe, reeling you in, and suddenly you were pressed against him, chest to chest.Â
âI seriously am glad Iâm dating you.â-
Your stomach squeezed so tight it was borderline uncomfortable.
So you did what any reasonable person would do. You avoided it entirely.
âWell, obviously, I am a delight.â
Aaronâs finger brushed against your cheek, tucking a stray strand behind your ear with an almost cautious tenderness, like you were made of glass and one wrong move would have you slipping through his fingers.
Because he knew you. Knew how easily you could float away, lost in your own world, distracted by the new beautiful, fleeting thing. And he knew, just as easily, how you ran when something felt too real.
So he was careful. Always careful.
âYou are a delight,â he murmured, sure as ever.Â
You blinked up at him, lips parting before you scoffed, shaking your head. âUgh, boring. Teasing isnât fun when you just agree with me.â
âIâm not teasing,â he said, lips twitching. Then, softer, sneaking the words past your defenses, âI need you to understand how much I love you. You are the single most important thing in my life.â
Flattening your hands over his chest, you let out a totally normal, not at all panicked giggle. âGosh, youâre so sincere,â you blurted. âDo you⊠practice this?â
His brow arched. âDo you practice avoiding serious conversations?â
âWhy do we have to have a serious conversation right now? Canât we just, like, make out instead?â
His eyes track downward, to your lips. You see the moment he hesitates, a war playing out in the slight twitch of his fingers, the way his throat bobs when he swallows. For a moment, you think he might actually do it â lean in, forget whatever moral battle heâs fighting, and take you up on the offer. But then, his jaw tightens, and with a slow exhale, he shakes his head.
âBecause I was an ass earlier,â he mutters, raking a hand through his hair like heâs punishing himself for even considering otherwise.
âI knew you were going to say that.â
âWell,â he murmured, âif you knew it, then maybe you should let me say it properly.â
You loop your arms around his neck, pulling him just a little closer, brushing your nose against his like itâs instinct.
âYou werenât being an ass, Aaron. You were just being a responsible, busy adult, unlike me who was apparently having a full-blow crisis over not being the center of your universe for two whole hours.â
Aaron signs, thumb stroking a slow line against your back.
âYou mightâve been a little dramatic about it,â he concedes with a teasing smile, âbut I also knew you had a rough week.â His lips press into a thin line, self-reproach creeping into his voice. âYou never complain, so I didnât expect you to say anything. But I shouldâve seen it. I did see it â I just got caught up.â His voice lowers. âI donât want you to feel like you have to beg me to look at you.â
âStill doesnât excuse me being, like, a giant problem to your blood pressure. I mean, I basically force you to love me, and Iâm sure thatâs exhausting.â You flash him a bright, overcompensating grin, but his brow furrows, unimpressed.
Aaronâs hands slip from your waist to cup your face, tilting your chin up so you canât look anywhere but him.
âDo you honestly think youâre making this difficult for me?â he asks, incredulous. âLoving you isnât something I have to convince myself to do.â
His lips press together again. âI love you because I couldnât stop if I tried. Because itâs the easiest, most natural thing Iâve ever done.â A small breath of laughter leaves him. âYouâre the best thing thatâs ever happened to me. Loving you isnât exhausting, honey â itâs the only thing that isnât.â
Your eyes burn, emotion bubbling up faster than you can stop, and you let out a watery laugh.Â
You wish you could take it as easily as he gives it. You wish you could believe it the way he does. But Aaron, steady and certain, loves you like it's gravity instead of a fragile thing that could slip through your fingers if you hold it wrong.
You love him. You love him with something wild, something you could never fully put into words, no matter how many times you said the three words to him.
And maybe that's okay. Maybe you don't need words, because he's already looking at you like he knows. He's felt your love in every touch, every breath, every time you make his life louder and messier.
Maybe that's why your fingers are trembling again.
Because this, this love, this life, this man, is the closest thing to real magic you've ever known.
âThat might be the sweetest thing anyoneâs ever said to me,â you whisper, tracing your nails over his neck.
Aaron tilts his head, brow furrowing slightly like he hates the thought that this is some grand declaration instead of something you should have always known.
"Then let me say it more often."
Your lips smush together, trying so hard not to smile, not to let him know how much that gets to you.
And, well. You can't have him knowing he's winning, so you tilt your head, pursing your lips, pretending to consider something much more important than the way your heart is currently spiraling out of control.
"Well, if you really love me that much..." You tap your chin, faux-thoughtful. "I feel like the next logical step would be a truly earth-shattering makeout session."
Aaron groans â part exasperation, part fondness â but then grabs you, kissing you hard enough that you laugh into his mouth.
đ masterlist
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Summary: Neither you or Joel had realized the fallout of facing each other after trying for a babyâsomething that never would have happened if Tommy could have given you one himself. And when the first time doesn't stick, you're back at Joel's door, asking for another favor.
|| smut MNDI 18+, pinv, f!receiving oral, dirty talk, no outbreak, not cheating but still def not kosher!!! don't do this!!!, breeding kink, rule breaking, baby making, talk of infertility, joel is absolutely filthy when he's turned on what can I say ||
notes: Tommy, hunny, if you're reading this, im sorry. im sure you're great in bed. im sorry this got so long!!! I was hella sick the past couple days and mightve wrote this with a fever sooo
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3?
You hadnât meant for it to change anything.
In the days after the first time you⊠tried with Joel, you hadnât really spoken to him. Heâd left in a hurry, barely looking at you as he pulled his clothes back on, and youâd been too drunk on the aftershocks of what was possibly the best orgasm of your life to really think about what came next. Not until the hours stretched into days, and the reality of what youâd done started to settle in.
Now, standing by the pool in the thick, hazy heat of late summer, you realized just how weird it was going to be when you saw him again.
It was Frankieâs birthday, the last big cookout of the seasonâan annual thing the Morales family threw without fail, and especially this year with Marie now expecting their first baby. The beer was always cold, there was always too much food, and the night always ended with everyone gathered around the fire pit, full and tipsy and laughing. Youâd been coming to these parties for years, always bringing appetizers, just as the Miller brothers always brought the beer. It was tradition. Comfortable.
Except this time, nothing felt comfortable at all.
You were in your string bikini, your loose, sheer cover-up thrown over the lounge chair you inhabited, still slick from the last dip in the pool. The air smelled like sunscreen and charcoal smoke, the buzz of cicadas tangled with the sound of splashing and distant laughter. You had just grabbed your drink from the poolside table when movement caught your eye.
Joel.
He was stepping into the backyard, a case of Miller Lite hooked in one hand, his other hand pushing through his hair. He looked goodâannoyingly goodâworn jeans hanging low on his hips, t-shirt stretched across broad shoulders, sunglasses tucked into the collar. He scanned the crowd until his gaze landed on you.
Your breath hitched. Not because of himâof course notâbut because the moment stretched just a little too long.
And then Tommy turned, sitting next to you with an easy, unaware grin, and Joelâs eyes flicked to his brother like heâd just been caught red-handed. He gave an awkward nodâmore of a grunt than a greetingâbefore turning on his heel and heading straight for the house.
You flushed.
Right. This was going to be weird.
Tommy laughed, like he hadnât noticed the way you went red beside him. He leaned in, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek before getting to his feet. âGuess I better go say a proper hello before he drinks all the beer himself.â
And just like that, he strolled off, leaving you sitting there, drink in hand, watching the back door swing shut behind Joel.
The sun was starting to dip lower, stretching long golden streaks over the yard, and you were starting to feel itâthe kind of lazy, sun-drenched exhaustion that came from too much heat, too much pool water, maybe one drink too many. The party was still going strong, laughter rising over the music, but you were more than happy to hover near the patio with a few of the other wives in the shade.
You hadnât seen much of Joel.
Every now and then, youâd catch a glimpseâhis broad shoulders making their way through the small crowd, the sound of his laughter, the sun catching in his hairâbut he never seemed to linger anywhere long. It was like he was playing some kind of unspoken game, orbiting close enough that you were aware of him but never so close that you had to speak.
Which was fine.
It was fine.
You were definitely not hyper-aware of him. Not tracking his presence without meaning to. Not letting the memory of the filthy things he said to you crawl into your head every time you glimpsed those big, soulful eyes.
You exhaled, shaking the thought loose just as Marie called your name. She stood at the grill next to her husband who was flipping burgers, her hands full of side dishes that had to be put out for dinner.
"Can you grab the potato salad from the fridge?" she asked, nodding toward the house. "I meant to bring it out, but my hands are too full!"
"Yeah, of course," you said, already stepping toward the back door.
The second you slipped inside, the air-conditioning cooled the heat still clinging to your skin, the quiet settling heavy after the constant hum of the party outside. It felt nice. Like taking a breath you hadnât realized you needed.
The house was mostly empty, everyone still out in the yard, and for a brief moment, you let yourself just enjoy the quiet. Then you stepped into the kitchen and saw him.
He was standing near the counter, one hand braced on the edge, the other loose around a beer as he looked out the kitchen window into the yard. His shoulders tensed when he heard you, but he didnât turn, just flicked his gaze toward the fridge like that was suddenly the most interesting thing in the world.
Joel.
You ignored the way your pulse kicked up, forcing yourself to be normal. Chill.Â
âHey,â you said, casual, like this was fine. Just another Saturday afternoon.
Joel nodded once, barely glancing at you. âHey.â
Oookay.
You moved toward the fridge, opening it and scanning the shelves. âJust need to grab something for Marie,â you said, reaching for the container of potato salad.
Joel exhaled, shifting to the side so you had more room, but he still didnât look at you. His grip flexed around his beer, his jaw tight like he was concentrating very hard on ignoring you.
Fine.
Grabbing the container, you shut the fridge and turned to leave, but you found yourself hesitating.
You sighed, shifting your grip on the bowl before turning back around. âIt doesnât have to be like this, you know.â
Joelâs head lifted slightly, like he hadnât expected you to say anything. âLike what?â
âThis.â You gestured vaguely between the two of you. âThe awkward. The avoiding.â You paused, tilting your head. âYou canât even look at me.â
He blinked, caught off guard, before his eyes flicked to yoursâquick, hesitant. âIâm lookinâ at you right now.â
You huffed out a small, dry laugh. âYeah. For the first time all day.â
He shifted on his feet, looking uncomfortable, his fingers tapping once against the beer bottle. âAinât avoidinâ you.â
You lifted an eyebrow.
Joel sighed through his nose, glancing at the floor before dragging a hand down his face. âAlright,â he admitted, âmaybe a little.â
You crossed your arms, letting that hang in the air for a second.
Joel took a long breath like he was trying to collect his thoughts. Then he finallyâfinallyâlooked at you, really looked at you, with something almost hesitant in his gaze. âIâm sorry,â he said, low but firm. âYouâre right.â
Your arms loosened slightly, tension easing just a fraction. âI do that a lot.â
Joel huffed a little laugh, shaking his head. âYeah, yeah.â
Joelâs eyes flicked downâquick, instinctive, before he caught himself and looked away. But not fast enough. You saw it.
The humidity outside had been enough to keep you from throwing your cover-up back on after the pool, but now, standing here in the cool dim light of the kitchen, it felt like a mistake. The shift in temperature sent a shiver across your skin, every inch of you laid bare in nothing but damp, clinging fabric. You knew this bikini was thin but damn your nipples for hardening in the sudden cool air. Water still beaded along your collarbone, trailing in slow, lazy rivulets down your stomach, disappearing beneath the tiny scraps of your bikini.
And it seemed like Joel was very aware of these things as well.
You werenât sure if he swallowed, but you thought you saw his jaw go tight. Then, just as fast, he looked away.
Something curled low in your stomach. Was he thinking about that night, too?
Not supposed to. That was Rule #2.
Not supposed to think about it. Not supposed to talk about it outside the four walls of your bedroom.
Joel cleared his throat. âYou feelinâ alright and all?â
You blinked, pulled from your thoughts. âWhat?â
His fingers tightened around his beer bottle. âAny signs yet?â
Oh.
You shifted your weight, trying to collect yourself. âNo. Wonât know for a few more days. Wonât show up on a test yet.â
Joel nodded, looking thoughtful, like that was news to him. His gaze flicked downward againâthis time, toward your stomach.
âDid Tommy not tell you that part?â you asked, amused despite yourself.
His mouth twitched. âNot exactly.â
You smirked. âYou mean you didnât ask.â
Joel scoffed, almost like a chuckle, shaking his head. âWasnât exactly a conversation I was rushinâ to have with my brother. Havenât⊠had to think about this stuff in 15 years.â
That made you laughâa soft, breathy thingâand just like that, something tilted in the air between you.
The tension didnât go away. It just⊠changed.
Joel was still standing where he was, but now it felt like he was closer, and he was even smiling a little bit.
Maybe you were the one who had stepped closer.
You werenât sure when it had happened, when the space had shrunk, but suddenly, it wasnât enough. The air between you was buzzing, and you could feel his presenceâsolid, warm, steady across from you.
Joelâs fingers flexed once against the counter. His gaze flicked down againâquick, but not quick enough.
This time, when his eyes met yours, he didnât immediately look away.
And neither did you.
The kitchen was quiet.
Not just in the absence of sound, but in the way the air felt thick, in the way neither of you spoke, in the way neither of you moved.
But you werenât imagining it.
Joelâs eyes were still on you, his body still angled slightly toward yours, and you were very aware of the space between you.
Your skin prickled, still damp from the pool, and you wondered again if he was thinking about that night. If the way his fingers flexed against the counter meant he remembered how theyâd felt on your skin. If the way he swallowed meant he was trying real hard not to think about the words you exchanged, low, filthy, depravedâ
The sound of footsteps echoed down the hall, breaking the moment like a stone thrown into still water.
âYâall hidinâ in here?â Tommyâs voice was easy, oblivious as he crossed the threshold, already making a beeline for the fridge.
âWhat?â you squeaked, âNo, whyâd we be hiding?â
Oh god. Your stomach flipped as heat prickled up your spine. Why the hell had you said it like that?
Tommy, thankfully, didnât seem to noticeâor if he did, he didnât care.
âItâs hot as hell out there. Think I saw Frank fanninâ himself with a paper plate like some old lady in church.â
Joel straightened immediately, rolling his shoulders back like heâd just snapped to attention. He cleared his throat, shifting his grip on the beer bottle. âDamn near a hundred degrees, Iâd say. Just⊠takinâ a minute.â
Tommy barely looked up, cracking open the fridge. He grabbed a beer for himself, glancing toward you. âThat for Marie?â
You nodded, heart still kicking a little harder than it should. âYeah.â
âGood. She was about five seconds from sending out a search party for it.â
Joel exhaled sharply through his noseâmaybe a huff of a laugh, maybe just a breathâbut he made sure to avert his eyes from you now.
You just nodded once, shifting the container in your arms before turning on your heel and walking out the way you came.
Joel
A week had passed, the tightness of unspoken things curling around him until the evening settled low one night and Joel finally started to relax.
The TVâs blue light flickered against the golden glow siphoning through the blinds, the last rays of daylight painting the floorboards in long, slanted streaks. The house was quiet aside from the hum of the sitcom playing, its canned laughter punctuated by the real thingâSarah, curled up beside him on the arm of the couch, feet tucked up against his thigh as she giggled at another dumb joke.
But Joel was distracted.
Heâd been distracted for days, really.Â
It wasnât just the wrongness of itâthough there was plenty of that, enough to make his gut twist every time he let himself linger too long on it.Â
It was the fact that he couldnât seem to stop feeling it.
The way youâd tightened up around him, shuddering, gasping, falling apart with his name on your lips. The way youâd let him take you, let him fill you, let him say things he had no right to say.
He shook his head, forcing the thought away.
Wouldnât let himself dwell on it. Wouldnât let himself remember the way you felt, the way you sounded, wrecked and breathless beneath him. Wouldnât let himself think about how easy it had been to lose himself in it, to let every filthy thought spill from his mouth like he didnât give a damn about the consequences.
But you.
You had let him. Had taken everything he gave you, had needed it.
And worse than any of itâthe thing that really messed him upâwas knowing that Tommy, his own brother, couldnât make you finish the way he had.
That knowledge had settled deep in his bones, twisting something dark and selfish in his gut. That he was the one who had made you come apart like that. That only he had. And God help him, but the idea stroked his ego like a cat purring into your hand. He hadnât been able to think straight since.
And maybe that was why, when the knock came, it took him a second to register it.
Joel blinked, dragging himself out of his own damn head. He turned to Sarah, their eyes meeting in confusion. âYou expectinâ anyone?â he asked. Sarah shook her head, brow furrowing. Joel exhaled, pushing himself up from the couch with a few protesting cracks in his knees before heading for the door, rubbing at the tension settled in his jaw before pulling it open.
For a second, he had to blink to make sure he was seeing right.
You stood on his porch, hoodie sleeves pulled over your hands, stuffed into the front pocket, your hair mussed from the evening breeze. The light had dipped enough that everything was softer now, blurred at the edges, but it didnât hide the red rimming your eyes, the way your shoulders curled in just slightly.
Joelâs chest tightened.
âHey,â you said softly.
He cleared his throat, opening and closing his mouth, but before he could say anything, Sarah appeared beside him.
He watched as your expression shifted instantly, the smile pulling at your lips effortless, natural. A mask, maybeâbut a convincing one.
âAuntie!â Sarah beamed, rushing forward to wrap her arms around you. And just like that, your smile became real. He saw the way your eyes softened as you hugged her back, tucking your chin briefly over the top of her head.
Sarah pulled away just enough to grin up at you. âWhatcha doinâ here?â
Your gaze flicked between her and Joel before settling back on Sarah. âWas wonderinâ if I could steal your dad for a sec,â you said easily, voice light, âthat okay?â
âPlease,â Sarah teased, shooting Joel a smirk. âAny chance to take him off my hands is always appreciated.â
Joel snorted, shaking his head as Sarah turned back toward the couch, giggling to herself. But when he looked back at you, the brightness from a moment ago had already dimmed. The smile had slippedânot completely, but enough. Your lips were still quirked at the edges, but your eyes⊠your eyes looked tired.
Joel exhaled, rubbing the back of his neck.Â
âSo,â you sighed, shifting slightly on your feet. âCan we talk?â
There was something in your voice, something heavy, something that sat thick in the air between you. And Joel knew. He knew what this had to be about, but that didnât stop his mind from racing, didnât stop the sudden, gnawing pull in his gut as a dozen worst-case scenarios started clawing their way forward.
Were you here to tell him it was all a mistake? That he shouldâve never come near you like that, never agreed to something so ridiculous? Were you going to say you couldnât look at him the same, that you didnât want to, that whatever had happened between you was too far over some invisible line?
Or worseâwere you here to cut him out entirely? To tell him he was done, that heâd never step foot in your house again, never see the baby he had tried to put in you?
The thought settled cold in his stomach, but he didnât let it show. He just jerked his head toward the hall, leading you through the quiet house and out to the back door.
The porch creaked beneath your weight as you moved, wordless, settling onto the old swing. Joel followed, standing a few paces away, one hand braced against the railing. You didnât look at him. He didnât look at you.
Your eyes were fixed on the pool in the yardâthe above-ground one heâd put in for Sarah and her friends this summer, the water still rippling from whatever movement had last disturbed it. The tubes and pool rafts floated aimlessly, bobbing in the quiet evening breeze.
But you werenât really looking at them. Joel could tell your stare was a thousand miles away.
Just say it, he thought. Just tell me you think it was all a mistake, so I can stop going crazy in my head.
âIt didnât work,â you finally said, voice cracking.
Joelâs eyes found yours, and for a moment, all he could do was look.
You were beautiful in the dying lightâsoft gold settling over your features, catching in the moisture gathering in your eyes. Your chin wobbled, lips parting slightly as you sucked in a shaky breath, fighting for control.
His chest ached.
Joel had never been good at this. Never been the type for soft reassurances or knowing what to say when someone was hurting. But he couldnât just stand there, not when you looked like this. So he moved, stiff and uncertain, stepping toward the swing before lowering himself onto it beside you.
The wood groaned slightly beneath his weight and for a second he hesitated, fingers twitching against his thigh. Then, after a beat, he lifted a hand and rested it on your shoulder, squeezing gently.
The sound you let out was small, choked, a breath away from a sob. Your hands flew up to your face as your shoulders curled inward, your body trembling against the weight of it.
And thenâbefore he could reactâyou turned into him. Pressed your face against his chest, curled against his side like it was the most natural thing in the world.
Joel stiffened.
For a long, still moment, he didnât move, his body locked up tight. His breath was shallow, caught somewhere in his throat, but the sound of youâsoft, muffled cries against his shirt, the uneven tremble of your breathâmade his chest pull even tighter.
Carefully, slowly, he let his arm settle around you.
He wasnât sure how much comfort he could offer, but he could do this. He could be solid. He could be warm. He could let his fingers trace slow, steady strokes over your arm, grounding you, letting you take what you needed.
âIâm sorry,â he finally whispered.
You sniffled, your body shifting as you pulled back slightly. It was like you suddenly realized how close you were, blinking up at him, eyes glassy but clearer now.
âItâsââ you exhaled shakily, rubbing at your face with the sleeve of your hoodie. âItâs okay. Not your fault, of course.â
Your shoulder still pressed lightly against his, and Joelâs arm, solid and steady around you, didnât move. He wasnât sure if it was to comfort you or to keep himself grounded, but his thumb was still tracing slow, absentminded strokes against your arm, like if he stopped, something might shift in a way he wasnât ready for.
The quiet between you stretched, thick and full, the weight of everything that had transpired the past few weeks hanging in the warm evening air. The swing creaked softly beneath you, the distant chirp of crickets threading through the silence, but neither of you spoke.
Joel wasnât sure what the hell he was supposed to say.
He didnât know how to fix this. Didnât know if you even wanted him to fix it. So he just sat there, his fingers still moving, his eyes still studying youâyour profile washed in golden light, the way your lashes were still damp, the slow rise and fall of your chest as you tried to steady yourself.
And thenâ
âWould youâŠâ Your voice was small, barely above a whisper.
Joel felt like his lungs stopped working, his heart kicking up before he even knew why. You were still staring down at your lap, fingers twisting together, your teeth catching at your lip as you sucked in a breath like you werenât sure how to say what you wanted to.
You tried again. âWould you be okay withâŠâ
You trailed off, shaking your head. Still not looking at him.
But Joel knew. Knew before you even said it, before the words could form, before you could force yourself to meet his gaze.
âYou want to try again?â he asked quietly.Â
That got you to look at him.
And when your eyes met his, something shifted. Because Joel suddenly realized just how close you were.
Close enough that he could make out every ridge and curve of your soft lips, every delicate flicker of color in your irises, every tiny freckle that summer had kissed onto your skin. He hadnât noticed it beforeânot really. Not in the dark of your room, not when heâd been too caught up in the moment to see you the way he did now.
Yes, you were nice-lookingâTommy always had good taste in women. But Joel had never let himself notice something like that. Not before. Not until now, until you were watching him with that hesitant, quiet hope, until something deep and unfamiliar curled in his chest in a way he couldnât quite name.
He could feel you shifting beside him, like you were fighting some sort of urge, like you didnât quite know what to do with yourself. He got it. He felt it too. That strange, electric wrongness, the awareness that neither of you was saying what you were actually thinking. His fingers twitched where they laid, but he didnât move them.
âWould you be okay with that?â you asked softly. âIâll talk to Tommy, see what he thinks, of course. Heâs out tonight, but I justâI couldnât stand being alone. After taking the test this morning, it just felt so empty in the house. Itâs okay if you donât want to, of course. We can figure out something else, maybe a donor or some sort of IVF or surrogacyââ
You were rambling now, your words tumbling out too fast, your hands twisting in your lap, your eyes darting away from his like you didnât really expect him to say yes.
Joel didnât know what the hell to do with the mess of feelings twisting inside him as he watched you stumble over your words. It wasnât like you to hesitate, to second-guess yourselfâbut now, you were looking anywhere but at him, your fingers fidgeting, your breath uneven. He shouldâve let you work through it. Shouldâve waited. But before he could think better of it, his hand moved, fingers brushing beneath your chin, tilting your face up to his.
Your breath hitched as he lifted your face toward him, guiding your eyes back to his in a slow, careful motion that had nothing to do with the things he wasnât supposed to think about.
âIâll do it,â he murmured, his voice low, steady. And damn him, he couldn't help the way his eyes flickered to your lips as they parted when he said, âWe can try again.â
âAre you sure you have to go?â you asked, your hands resting on Tommyâs chest as he held your hips, fingers squeezing gently.
His smile was soft, easyâfull of the kind of warmth Joel had no business standing in the middle of. There was so much love in your eyes, so much familiarity between you, and Joel felt like he was intruding.
But that didnât make much sense, did it? Youâd both invited him here. Youâd both agreed to this. And yet, here he was, sitting on the damn couch, trying not to watch the way you looked at your husbandâlike youâd rather he stayed, like you werenât about to let his older brother take his place in your bed for the night.
âListen, hun,â Tommy said, brushing a strand of hair from your face. âYou know how Frankâs been feelinâ, all the pressure of havinâ a baby soon. Marieâs gonna pop any day now, and the least the fellas could do was plan a night away.â
You pouted up at him, fingers playing absently in the longer strands of hair at his nape.
Joel exhaled slowly through his nose, trying to focus on anything else. The clock ticking on the wall. The hum of the fridge. The feeling of his own damn skin crawling.
âJoel hereâll take good care of ya,â Tommy said, and Joelâs body locked up.
His head jerked up, his whole body locking up like heâd been physically struck.
When he met Tommyâs gaze, there wasnât even a flicker of mischief there. No teasing, no knowing smirk. Like he hadnât just said the worst goddamn innuendo Joel had ever heard in his life.
Christ.
âJesus, Tommy,â Joel muttered under his breath, but his brother didnât hear him.
Or maybe he just ignored him.
Either way, Joel didnât look. Didnât watch the way Tommy leaned down, kissed you slow and lingering. Didnât watch the way you melted into it, or the way his little brother looked at you like you were the most precious thing in the world to him.
Not with what the night had in store for the two of you.
When the door shut behind Tommy a few minutes later, you turned, your eyes flicking to Joelâhesitant, uncertainâbefore darting away just as fast.
There was no getting over how weird this was.
âCan I⊠get you something to drink?â you asked from across the room, your voice just a little too casual, like you were trying to make this feel normal.
Joel nodded. Something to take the edge off was exactly what he needed.
With Sarah at a friendâs for the night, there was no rush, no curfew, no reason to be anywhere but here. He could take his time. He should take his time, not rush into it like last time. He still felt bad about how long it had taken him to get it up. But what the hell did anyone expect?
This was weird.
His younger brother asking him to put a baby in his wife.
His sweet, pretty, sexy wife.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Joel cleared his throat, rubbing a hand over his jaw as you turned to grab the bottle from the cabinet. His eyes flicked downâjust for a secondâcatching the curve of your waist, the slope of your back as you reached for two glasses.
He needed to get his shit together.
âWhiskey, really?â he asked, surprised.
âI thought it would be for the best. Ya know. Calm the nerves.â
âYouâre nervous?â He didn't mean for it to come out so rough, so low and gravely, but something in the way you were standing there, hand wrapped around the wide glass as you looked between him and the drink.
You handed him his glass, fingers brushing, and you pulled away as soon as his hand wrapped around it, grabbing yours and walking into the living room, âArenât you?â
Joel brought the glass to his lips, giving himself a second before responding as he sat down across from you. The whiskey burned, but not as much as the look you gave him over the rim of your own glass.
"Wouldnât call it nervous," he muttered, setting his drink down on the table.
You hummed, taking another sip. "No?"
"Nah." He shifted, the leather couch creaking beneath him. "Just... yâknow. Wrappinâ my head around it."
You studied him for a long beat, fingers curled loosely around your glass. "So youâre sayinâ itâs not weird for you at all?"
Joel let out a little chuckle, rubbing his palm over his thigh. "Didnât say that."
Your lips quirked, but it wasnât quite a smile. Maybe more like you were just relieved that he was talking to you again. Something in Joel shifted at the realization. He shouldâve been better at thisâat talking, at making this easier. At not making things so damn weird.
"Guess I just figured the second time would be easier," you admitted, voice softer now, quieter.
"Easier how?" Joel asked, his hands twitching on his thighs before he grabbed his glass again, taking another sip just to do something.
You hesitated. "Jusâ didnât expect it to feel soâŠ" Your eyes, previously glued to the contents of your drink, flickered up to meet his. Joel felt his stomach flip, his pulse tick up. Your gaze was steady, unsure but searching, and he could feel itâ the weight of it settling somewhere deep in his chest, in the thick, charged air between you.
âTense.â you finished, and Joel swallowed down his last sip of whiskey, the burn sinking all the way to his gut, welcome this timeâanything to settle the fire licking up his spine.Â
It took a moment before Joel realized the both of you were staring at each other, gazes locked and burning across the room.
The silence stretched, thick and unmoving, the weight of it pressing down on his chest. He should look away, should say something to break whatever spell this was, but his body wasnât cooperating. His fingers flexed around his empty glass, his breath slow and measured like he was trying real hard not to give himself away.
Then, you blinked, inhaled, and wet your lips before forcing out a quiet, âShould we⊠get to it, then?â
Joel exhaled through his nose, tilting his head slightly, eyes dragging over your face, searching. âThat what you wanna do?â His voice came out rougher than he meant, lower, like the whiskey had settled there and refused to budge.
You let out a breathy laughânervous, unsure. âIsnât that what weâre here for?â
Joel didnât answer at first. He just set his empty glass down on the table, slow and deliberate, the soft clink against the wood the only sound between you. Then, he leaned forward, elbows braced on his knees, watching you.
âI mean,â he murmured, voice low, âwe got all night, donât we?â
You nodded, slow, absent, your teeth catching your bottom lip as your fingers toyed with the hem of your shorts. Your bare legs shifted slightly, restless, and Joel could see the way your body carried the same tightly wound energy thrumming under his own skin.
And for the first time, he wondered if it wasnât just him who felt different. If youâd been thinking about that night all along too. If this thing, this quiet, simmering thing between you, had started to crack open something neither of you were ready to face.
Joel swallowed, flexing his fingers against his knees before dragging one hand over his jaw. âYou sure about this?â he asked, his voice rougher than he intended.
You exhaled, shifting in your seat, but when your eyes lifted to his, there was something thereâsomething nervous, maybe, but certain.
âYeah,â you said quietly. âIâm sure.â
Joel nodded once, slow, measured. âAlright.â
But neither of you moved.
Not yet.
And that mightâve been the worst part, the way the space between you suddenly felt charged, humming, like a live wire sparking at both ends, neither one of you quite willing to touch it first.
Joel finally sat back, spreading his legs slightly, running his tongue over his teeth in thought. âHow you wanna do this?â
The words sent something sharp curling low in his stomach, but he kept his expression even. Neutral. Like this wasnât the strangest damn conversation heâd ever had in his life.
Your lips parted slightly, like you hadnât expected him to ask that, and something flickered in your gaze.
âIâŠâ You hesitated, shifting again. âI donât know.â
Joel huffed a quiet breath, rubbing a hand over his thigh. âWhy donât you tell me what you like,â
He meant it as a practical question. But the second the words left his mouth, something about them felt different. Felt thick.
Your throat bobbed as you swallowed, lips parting againâbut no words came.
Joelâs fingers flexed where they rested, and then, slowly, deliberately, he lifted his hand and curled two fingers toward himself in a beckoning motion.
âCâmere.â His voice was low, rough, unwavering. His other hand patted the empty space beside him on the couch.
Your eyes went wide.
Joelâs gaze stayed steady, dark and unreadable, waiting, watching. And when you didnât move, when you stayed frozen in place, teeth worrying your lip like you werenât sure if you shouldâ
He tilted his head slightly, exhaling through his nose.
âDonât be all shy now,â he murmured. âYou helped me last time. Iâll help you this time.â A pause, thick with meaning. âCome on, now.â
Your fingers twitched, and then slowly, hesitantly, you moved towards him.
You set down the empty whiskey glass with a soft clink, and Joel caught the slight tremble in your hands as you made your way over to him. You sat beside him, close but not too close, your body angled toward his, but still not touching. He could feel the heat of you, though, could sense the way you hovered in that charged space, your breath just a little uneven.
Your eyes flickered to his, uncertain, waiting.
Joel let the moment stretch before speaking, voice low, rough with the remnants of whiskey and something heavier. âNow,â he drawled, slow and deliberate, as his hand rested on the back of the couch as he turned towards you, âwhatâs got you all worked up, hm? Why you nervous tonight? Werenât nervous last time.â
You blinked at him, âYes, I was.â
Joel shot you a look, brows furrowing slightly.
You were?
Hell, he was the one whoâd been in damn ribbons last time, all wound up so tight he couldnât even get hard at first. But youâŠyouâd been steady, patient, pulling him out of his own head with soft hands and softer words, guiding him through it like youâd done this a thousand times before.
But now, looking at you, at the way your fingers twisted absently in your lap, at the way you were still hesitating, hovering, he realized maybe heâd had it all wrong.
Maybe youâd just been better at hiding it.
Something in him shifted at that thought, something warm and unexpected. And thenâjust like thatâthe corner of your mouth quirked up, barely there, but enough.
Enough to break the tension just a little.
Joelâs gaze stayed locked on yours, watching the way your lips twitched with that barely-there smile, the way you shifted in your seat, still wound up tight. You mightâve been trying to play it off, but he could see it now. The way your body was holding something back, how much you were overthinking, just like he had last time.
He leaned in slightly, his voice dropping low and edged with something darker.
âHow do you usually get off?â
He watched the way your body reacted to the question, your thighs pressing together just slightly, the way your fingers tensed against the couch cushion, like you needed something to hold onto.
âJoelââ
âCâmon, now,â he murmured, tilting his head, gaze flickering down your body before finding your eyes again. âYou asked me the same question last time. Let me help you relax, sweetheart.â
Your breath came a little faster now, chest rising and falling, and for a second, Joel thought you might overthink your way out of this. Might shake your head, pull away, break the moment before it could go any further.
âI, umâŠâ Your teeth caught your bottom lip harder now as your eyes flicked away, like you were thinking, trying to find the right words. âTommyâhe usually⊠heâll go down on me.â
Joel hummed, urging you on. âMhm.â
âAnd usually Iâll get off thenââ
âUsually?â Joel interjected without thinking. His brow furrowed slightly as he looked at you.
You shrugged, like it wasnât a big deal. âSometimes it takes a while,â you admitted. âSo I tell him to give up andââ
âGive up?!â Now Joel was incredulous. His head jerked slightly as he wiped a hand down his face, like he could scrub away the mental image of his little brother trying and failing to make his own damn wife finish on his tongue.
"Jesus Christ."
You gave a small, amused shake of your head. âNot everyone is as talented as you, Joel Miller.â
The words left your mouth so easily, a throwaway comment, but the second you said it, your face went red, realizing what youâd just admitted. You let out a breathy laugh, trying to play it off as a joke, but Joel wasnât remotely amused.
Because heâd seen the way you shrugged when you said give up. Like it was normal. Like you didnât expect anything else.
No. He wasnât having any of that.
His expression hardened, jaw ticking.
âLay back.â
Your eyes widened slightly, your lips parting as you released your lip from between your teeth. âWhat?â
âLay back, dammit. Pants off.â
âJoel, weâreââ
âYou keep breakinâ Rule Number Three, doll, Iâm gonna start thinkinâ you donât give a damn about âem.â His voice was firm, his gaze unwavering.
âSorry,â you murmured, your voice softer now, almost breathless, and Joelâs stomach tightened at the sound of it.
Joel was already moving, shifting forward, his body his broad frame eclipsing yours, forcing you to either back up or let him take what he wanted. You braced yourself against the couch, your hands gripping at the cushions as he hovered over you, broad and unrelenting.
âYou donât have toââ
âI said lay back, baby,â he murmured, voice low and firm, edged with something dark and determined. His fingers brushed against your thigh, coaxing, teasing, his eyes locked onto yours. âLemme show you how itâs supposed to be.â
You hesitated, your chest rising and falling too quickly, lips parting like you wanted to say somethingâmaybe protest, maybe challenge himâbut instead, you obeyed.
You let him guide you down, sinking back against the cushions, legs still bent, thighs pressed tight together.
Joel hummed at the sight of you beneath him, at the way you looked up at him nowâuncertain, but wanting. He could see it in the way your breath hitched, in the way your fingers twitched like you didnât know what to do with them.
âThatâs a good girl,â he muttered, dragging his palm up the length of your thigh, heat radiating from his touch even through the fabric of your shorts.
He should take his time, should tease you like heâd been dreaming about in the weeks between last time and nowâthe way heâd pictured you squirming, begging for him. But then he remembered what youâd said.
How sometimes it took too long.
How youâd just tell Tommy to give up.
Like it was your fault. Like you were too much work.
Bullshit.
Joelâs jaw ticked, something dark and dangerous curling in his gut. His fingers flexed against your skin before slipping beneath the waistband of your shorts, tugging them down before you could say anything else.
You sucked in a breath, hips lifting instinctively, letting him pull them past your thighs, past your knees, tossing them somewhere behind him. His hands settled firm on your legs, his thumbs stroking slow, deliberate circles against your inner thighs as he spread them wider.
And fuck, you were already so wet, your panties clinging to you, a darkened patch right where he wanted to put his mouth.
His smirk was slow, satisfied.
"Whatâs this all about, hm?" he purred, pressing his thumb against the damp fabric, rubbing just enough to make you jolt. "Wanna tell me whatâs got you all dripping for me already?"
Your breath hitched, a little mewl escaping you as you tried pushing your thighs together, squeezing tight, making the soft, puffy outline of your lips press perfectly against the thin fabric.
Joel swore he started salivating.
His hands ran up your legs as he sank onto the floor, knees pressing firm against the couch cushions, palms settling against the soft skin of your inner thighs. He wanted you spread open for him, wanted all of you.
"Tell me, baby," he urged, voice thick, coaxing.
Your throat bobbed, lips parting, your breath a little shaky. "I wasâŠ" You swallowed hard, fingers twisting in the couch cushion, "I was just remembering."
Joelâs eyes flicked to yours, heavy-lidded and dazed, thick with want. "Rememberinâ what?"
You met his gaze, lashes low, voice barely above a breath. "How good you made me feel last time. Iâd never⊠felt that before. Not like that, at least."
Jesus fucking Christ.
Joel let out a low groan, his cock stiffening behind his zipper, aching in a way that made his breath come slow and deep through his nose. You had to feel it, the hard press of denim against your ass, the way his body reacted to your words, to the way you looked at him like you were already cock-drunk before he even touched you properly.
"You felt so good, Joel," you murmured, your voice thick, dreamy, like you were already sinking into it. "Made me feel so good."
His fingers curled against your thighs, pressing in just a little harder.
"Gonna make you feel real good again, baby," he muttered, voice rough as his fingers hooked into your panties. He pulled them down slow, savoring the sight of them peeling away from your slick folds, strings of arousal clinging to the fabric.
"Open these pretty legs for me," he murmured, gripping your thighs, easing them apart as he settled lower, gaze locked on the glistening heat between them.
You let him hold you open, bare to him, and all Joel could think about was getting his mouth on you, making you come undone the way you were supposed to.
The way he knew he could.
Joelâs breath was heavy, measured, but inside, he was burning.
He slid his palms up your thighs, pressing them wider, his thumbs tracing firm, slow strokes along the sensitive skin. His hands felt big where they gripped you, broad and rough, like they could hold you there forever, keep you open for him until he was satisfied.
And right now, he was hungry.
His gaze stayed locked between your legs, taking in the way you glistened in the low light, slick and dripping for him, already so ready. He exhaled sharply through his nose, his cock pulsing behind the tight confines of his jeans.
"Fuck, baby," he murmured, almost to himself, dragging his thumbs over your inner thighs, watching the way your muscles twitched beneath his touch. "You got no clue how pretty you are down here, do you?"
You whimpered, a small, needy sound, and Joel felt it straight in his gut.
He leaned in, inhaling against your core, lips just barely brushing against youânot quite a kiss, not quite a touch, just enough to tease, to let you feel the heat of his breath against your slick folds.
You gasped, your hips jerking slightly.
He smirked, the ghost of it pressing against your skin.
"Easy, sweetheart," he murmured, smoothing his hands over your thighs, grounding you, keeping you spread open for him. "Ainât gotta rush. Gonna take my time with you."
And then, finally he let his tongue drag through your folds, broad and slow, from your dripping entrance up to your swollen clit.
You shuddered.
Your fingers scrambled at the couch cushion, a broken moan spilling from your lips, thighs trembling beneath his hands.
"Thatâs it," Joel muttered against you, voice thick, satisfied. He dragged his tongue over you again, slower this time, savoring the way you tasted, the way you reacted.
He loved thisâloved watching you come undone beneath him, loved the way your body melted, how you gave in so easily when someone actually took their damn time with you.
His mouth latched onto your clit, sucking just enough to make your back arch off the couch, another moan breaking free.
"Joelâoh my Godâ"
"Mmm," he hummed in response, the vibration sending a sharp jolt through your core. His fingers dug into your thighs, holding you still, keeping you right where he wanted you.
You were practically dripping onto the couch, coating his lips, his chin, and Joel loved it. Lapped it up like he was dying for it, groaning against you, letting himself drown in you.
He flicked his tongue, slow and teasing, before dragging it down, prodding your entrance. His hands slid up, fingers pressing against the dips of your hips, holding you steady as his tongue dipped inside you.
You choked on a breath, your thighs twitching against his shoulders, and Joel grinned.
"Yeah?" he rasped, pulling back just slightly, his lips slick and shining with you. "That feel good, sweetheart?"
You barely managed to nod before his mouth was back on you, eating you like a man starved.
Your hands fisted in his hair, and he groaned against you. He loved how messy you were, how you squirmed just as heâd imagined, how you kept whispering his fucking name, breathless and desperate like you just couldnt help yourself.
He knew there was a reason that was a rule.
Because it sounded too fucking pretty coming from your mouth, tangled up in all those sweet little sounds you were making, and he never wanted to stop hearing it.
"Ainât learned your lesson yet, huh?" he muttered against you, voice thick with sin, pressing a kiss against your clit before dragging his tongue over it again, slow and deliberate, feeling the way you jerked. "Keep breakinâ that rule, sweetheart, and Iâm never gonna stop."
A little choked noise escaped you, hands pulling harder in his hair, but you werenât pushing him awayâyou were pulling him in.
And fuck, did that make him ache.
"Bet you donât come this quick for him, do you?" he rasped, letting his tongue dip down, teasing at your entrance before pressing inside, groaning as he felt you pulse around him. "How longâs it take you on my brotherâs tongue, huh? You gotta work for it? Tell him itâs okay to give up?"
You whimpered, a full-body shudder rolling through you, your hips rolling up, chasing more, and fuck, that answer was all he needed.
Joel grinned against you.
"Not with me, baby. Nuh-uh. You come when I tell you to, and you ain't goin' nowhere 'til I get what I want."
His fingers dug into your thighs as he devoured you, tongue working you over, sucking slow, firm pulls on your clit until your whole body seized beneath him.
"Joelâ"
Your thighs clamped around his head, hands flying to your mouth like you could stop it, like you knew you werenât supposed to say it.
Joel groaned, filthy and deep, gripping your hips tighter, dragging you down against his mouth, forcing you to take it.
"That's it, baby," he growled against you, tongue curling, licking deep. "Say it again. Come on my tongue saying my name, just like that."
You shattered, a strangled, broken cry falling from your lips as you gushed against his tongue, whole body trembling, thighs shaking around his head.
And Joel fucking loved it.
But he wasn't done. Not even close.
Your breath was still uneven, your body twitching from the aftershocks, when he kept going.
"Too muchâ" your voice was a high, breathless plea, hips shifting like you were trying to get away, but Joel chuckled, gripping you tighter, keeping you exactly where he wanted you.
"Nah, sweetheart," he murmured, pressing an open-mouthed kiss against your soaked folds. "Tommy might let you tap out, but I ainât him. Youâre gonna take everything I give you."
And then he was back on you, devouring you, tongue pushing into you, working you open, tasting you like he was fucking starved for it.
You gasped, legs trembling, but Joel just held you still, broad hands locked tight around your thighs, thumbs digging into the soft flesh as he pinned you down.
He wasnât sure what came over him in these moments. Wasnât sure if heâd ever been like this before. He couldnât remember another time a woman made him feel this insatiable, this hungry. He kept telling himself one moreâjust one more, to wring you out and leave you spent beneath him. But you were still so soft, still so wet, and he wasnât finished yet.
He pulled back just enough to watch the way you twitched beneath him, your lips parted, your chest rising and falling fast. Your thighs gave a little shake where he held them apart, and fuckâyou looked downright beautiful.
You were panting, wrecked, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes, legs trembling where he held them apart.
And Joel was grinning against you.
Because you hadnât told him to stop yet.
And until you did, he was gonna pull another from you.
And another.
And another.
By the time you came the fifth time, you were boneless.
Joel leaned back slightly, watching the way you just lay there, sprawled out against the couch like your body had melted into it, chest rising and falling in uneven breaths. Your legs were still twitching, little aftershocks making you jolt every now and then, and he could feel the warmth of you still slick and messy against his mouth, his chin, his fingers.
He wasnât sure if you were even conscious after that last one.
He swiped the back of his hand across his mouth, jaw tightening at the sight of youâwrecked, trembling, looking like you hadnât even processed what the hell had just happened to you.
Joel exhaled through his nose, pleased, then dragged himself up over your body, bracing his forearms on either side of your head. You barely stirred, eyes fluttering, a sleepy little hum slipping from your lips as his hand slid into your hair, tucking it behind your ear.
"Sweetheart," he murmured, voice rough.
You made a noise, something breathy and spent, your eyes opening just barely.
âHm?â
Joel smirked. "You need a break?"
There was a beat, like you were trying to process what that even meantâthen a sleepy little giggle bubbled up in your throat, your hands finding his hair, fingertips scratching lightly against his scalp.
"Maybe like, five minutes," you murmured, smiling up at him, wrecked but glowing.
Joel huffed a laugh, shaking his head, before pulling you against him. You let out a surprised squeak as he stood up, gathering you into his arms like you weighed nothing.
âWhat theâ?â
Joel shot you a lazy grin, shifting you higher against his chest. "My brother would kill me if I told him I knocked you up on a couch like a teenage boy."
That finally seemed to wake you up.
Your whole body stiffened, eyes going a little wide as reality set in.
"Oh, godâŠ" you murmured, voice a little hoarse, your hands gripping at his shoulders. "I can't believe we just⊠I just did thatâŠ"
And fuck, something in Joel sank at the sound of your voice.
Because he knew that tone. Knew it wellâthat creeping guilt, that second-guessing, the way someoneâs mind started running ahead of them, thinking about what it all meant instead of how it felt.
His jaw tightened.
He hadnât meant to⊠he didnât even know what came over him. He shouldâve stopped earlier, shouldâve slowed down, shouldâve given you more space to breathe before he just took and took and took.
But Jesus, the way you responded to him, the way you gave it all back, the way you opened for him like youâd been waiting for someone to finally take care of youâ
It did something to him. Still, he had to be sure.
"Hey." His voice was softer now, more even, as he shifted his grip on you, keeping you steady in his arms as he began to climb the stairs. "Ain't nobody gotta know. Stays between us."
You blinked up at him, chest still rising and falling a little too quickly, fingers curling slightly into his shirt.
âBut Tommyââ
Joel shook his head, cutting you off gently. "Tommy don't need to know a damn thing âcept that we tried."
You swallowed, lips pressing together like you were still processing, like you wanted to say something else, but didnât know how.
Joel exhaled, shifting his weight slightly, giving you something solid to hold onto.
"You still want this, donât you?" he asked, quiet, steady.
You hesitatedâbut then, slowly, you nodded.
"Yeah."
Joel nodded back, just once.
"Then that's all that matters."
His hand smoothed over your back, solid and warm, grounding you. "We just keep doin' what we agreed on. Nothinâ more, nothinâ less."
Your breath hitched slightly, but you nodded again.
And Joel didnât let himself think about why that felt like a lie as he crossed the threshold into your bedroom.
Eventually, he laid you down on the bed, and you settled back against the pillows, your chest still rising and falling in slow, deep breaths. You reached for the hem of your shirt, peeling it off and tossing it somewhere, your bra following it to the floor.
Joel took his time. He shucked off his jeans, then his shirt, watching the way heat crept up your neck, the flush deepening across your skin as you took him in.Â
He told himself he just wanted to see your reactionâwanted to watch the way you took him in, wide-eyed and wantingâbut the truth was, last time, heâd been so caught up in his own head, trying to wrap his mind around what the fuck he was doing, he barely let himself process it.
He wanted to commit this to memory.
In case it was the last time.
His hand wrapped around his cock, the poor thing aching, flushed dark at the tip, leaking, desperate for relief. He hissed through his teeth, exhaling sharply as he stroked himself, his eyes fluttering shut for just a second before he climbed onto the bed.
But before he could settle over you, you moved. You laid down flat on your belly, head toward the foot of the bed, your chest pressed flush to the mattress, your ass tilted up just slightly.
And right in front of youâthe dresser mirror.
Joelâs body locked up as his eyes flicked up, finding his own reflection staring back at him. But thenâyour eyes met his through the glass, a little shy, a little hesitant.
Jesus fucking Christ.
His cock twitched in his hand, and his grip tightened around the base like he needed to ground himself, keep himself from losing control too fucking fast.
And then you smiledâsmall, soft, still lost in that post-orgasm haze, warm and pliant and looking like youâd do anything he told you to.
Joel climbed onto the bed, moving behind you, his weight shifting over your back as his broad hands settled on your hips, gripping firm.
His eyes flicked back up to the mirror, watching the way you looked at him, watching yourself.
He smirked.
âYou dirty girl,â he murmured, his grip tightening as he ground his cock through your slick folds, coating himself in your arousal.
A breathy whimper slipped from your lips, your body arching, pressing your ass back into him, and he swore under his breath as his bulbous, leaking tip caught against your entrance.
The heat of you, still soaking, still so tight, made his breath catch as he lowered himself, chest pressing into your back, caging you in, his lips grazing the shell of your ear as his cock teased against you, notching at your entrance, pushing just barely.
"You wanna watch me fuck you?" he rasped, his voice low, dark, dripping with sin.
You let out a shaky breath, eyes fluttering shut, and Joel rolled his hips forward, making you feel every inch of him stretching you open, slow, teasing, unbearable.
Your eyes snapped open, a choked gasp spilling from your lips as your gaze locked onto his in the mirror.
That wrecked, ruined expression, that wide-eyed shock as you took him inch by inch, deeper and deeperâŠ
He knew was never gonna forget this.
Joel growled against your ear, his breath hot, his hips pressing flush against your ass as he bottomed out, stretching you open until there was nowhere left for you to go.
"Wanna watch your husbandâs own brother knock you up, baby?" he purred.
Your jaw dropped, eyes going glassy, mouth parted in a silent cry as he felt you squeeze around him, your tight little pussy gripping him like youâd never let him go.
Joel had never felt anything this good.
He pulled back, just barely, before sinking home again, slow and deep, forcing you to feel every inch of him, every drag of his cock as he stretched you open all over again.
You whimpered, nails scraping against the sheets, already wrecked, but not nearly done.
He watched in the mirror as your lips parted, as your lashes fluttered, as your brows furrowed at the overwhelming sensation of itâof him, filling you to the brim, thick and unrelenting.
"Thatâs it, pretty girl," he groaned, grinding into you, pressing his full weight over you, hips rolling in a slow, deep rhythm. "Take it just like that. Nice ân easy, let me feel you, huh?"
Your mouth fell open, a breathy little moan spilling out as he fucked you slow, letting you feel every inch, dragging it out, stretching it thicker, deeper.
Then he pulled back, bracing a big, rough hand on your hip before thrusting forward, harder this time, deeper, dragging a sharp gasp from your lips as your eyes flew openâ and as he looked up and saw your face, he couldâve finished right then and there, your eyes flashing open wide and your wrecked voice crying out for him.
His jaw clenched, his fingers digging into your hip as he set a punishing rhythm, hips snapping against your ass, the slick wet sounds of you taking him filling the room, mixing with the soft, broken noises slipping from your mouth as he fucked you hard, deep, like heâd been waiting his whole life to do this.
Joelâs body pinned you down, his weight heavy and solid as he laid over you. There was nowhere to go, nowhere to moveâjust him, pressing you into the mattress, keeping you exactly where he wanted you, exactly where you needed to be.
The heat of him burned into your back, his chest slick against your skin, his breaths hot and uneven at your ear as he worked himself slow and deep, grinding his hips down into you, forcing your body to take everything he gave you.
You couldnât move.
You could barely breathe.
Every push forward drove you deeper into the mattress, your fingers gripping at the sheets, holding on as his pace built, each thrust sinking him deeper, stretching you open with long, deliberate strokes.
Joel groaned against the nape of your neck, his mouth grazing your skin as his hips rocked into you, dragging you forward with every heavy roll of his body. His weight bore down, pressing you into the bed, keeping you flush beneath him, letting him sink in to the very hilt, until you could feel every thick inch of him, filling you, claiming you.
He could feel everythingâthe way your body clenched around him, the way your walls fluttered, pulling him in deeper, tight and wet, keeping him locked inside you.
And in the mirror, he could see how flushed, how spent and wrecked you were, your soft lips in a perfect âoâ as he kept pushing himself to the hilt, your velvet walls constricting his cock with every thrust. He relished in the feeling, how deep he was inside you, how good you felt wrapped around him, how you had no choice but to take it.
Your moan was soft, needy, muffled by the sheets, your back arching, trying to press into him, trying to take him even deeper.
"Youâre gonna come again, arenât you?" Joel murmured against your sweat-slicked skin, feeling the way your walls squeezed him tighter, your body locking up, every muscle trembling beneath him. One of his hands slid under you, finding your clit easily and starting to rub slow circles using two thick fingers, "Gonna give me another, baby? Gonna let me feel you?"
His hand slid up, his fingers brushing over your throat, tilting your face to the mirror.
"Look at yourself." he said as his hand wrapped around your face, thumb pushing into your cheek and fingers digging into your jaw as he brought your gaze up to meet his.
Your eyes met his, glassy and fogged, your lips parted, your breath coming in short, desperate gasps as he ground into you, holding you still, keeping you stretched full and helpless beneath him.
"You see that, baby?" he whispered, his fingers tightening at your jaw, keeping you there, keeping you watching, âSee how perfect you look takinâ my cock?â
Joel thrust deeper, grinding his hips against your ass, rocking into you, making sure you felt every thick inch stretching you, keeping you full.
âYou know, my brother can pretend all he wants," Joel growled, driving into you harder, making you feel it, making you take it.
"But this pussyâs mine now," he snarled, his fingers gripping tight at your jaw, making you watch yourself begin to fall apart on him.
"Was mine the second you came on my cock last time, wasnât it?" he rasped, thrusting deep, holding you full, his fingers grinding slow and taunting against your swollen, sensitive clit.
"Go on," he growled, one hand gripping your jaw, the other sliding up, thumb pressing firm at your lips before pushing past them, hooking into your mouth. "Say it."
Your breath hitched, a muffled coo spilling around his thick finger.
âAll yours, Joel,â you whimpered, voice broken, wrecked, helpless.
Your words turned into a sob, your thighs shaking, your body locking up as your orgasm tore through you, your muscles clenching down tight around him, your walls milking his cock, dragging him even deeper.
Joel groaned, his head tilting into your neck, feeling you pulse around him, trying to pull him in, hold him there, keep him inside you.
You heaved in breaths, trembling beneath him, as he released his tight hold on your face, your head met the bed, too wrecked to hold yourself up.
Joel followed you down, face pressed into your shoulder, holding you still as he thrust once more, deep and final, his body locking up as he filled you, spilling inside you, holding you down, making sure you took all of it.
He stayed there for a long moment, panting, his breath warm against the back of your neck, his body covering yours completely.
Joel didnât move right away.
His breath was ragged, hot against your sweat-damp skin, his weight still pressing heavy over you, pinning you down, keeping you filled, stuffed, claimed.
His arms caged around you, his chest pressing into your back, the lingering aftershocks of release making both of you twitch, shuddering in the same unsteady rhythm.
But as the haze of it ebbed, something else crept in.
His own words, thrown into the thick air like a brand, still hanging there.
My brother can pretend all he wants.
This pussyâs mine now.
Was mine the second you came on my cock.
Joel exhaled slowly, eyes pressing shut, realization sinking into him like a heavy weight.
Jesus Christ.
He shouldnât have said that.
Heâd felt itâdeep in his chest, in the pit of his stomach, in the way you clung to him, the way you let him take and take and take like you needed it just as badly. But saying it? Letting those thoughts slip out, low and raw and realâ
That was something else entirely.
His grip loosened, fingers flexing where theyâd held you too tight, his body finally easing up, lifting off you, just a little. Enough to give you air.
His mouth hovered at your shoulder, his breath still uneven, before he forced himself to speak.
"Iâm sorry," he breathed, voice rough, thick with something he didnât want to name. "I⊠I shouldnât haveâ"
âJoel?â Your voice was weak, soft, barely above a breath.
And when he looked up at you, your eyes were open just a little, sleep-heavy, a small, lazy smile tugging at your lips.
He swallowed. "Yeah?" he asked, voice gentler now.
You sighed, shifting just enough to settle deeper beneath him, your body still pliant as you rested your head on your arms, "Donât ruin it."
Joel stilled.
You breathed slow, eyes fluttering as exhaustion pulled at you.
"Itâs okay. I wonât say anything if you donât."
Something in his chest tightened, and for the first time since the haze had lifted, he let himself breathe.
Joel exhaled slowly, eyes tracing over your faceâsoft, spent, utterly at peace beneath him.
"Okay." he murmured finally, voice low, rough, unreadable.
spencer reid and his tongue fixation. at first you thought it was just a run-of-the-mill oral fixation. youâve seen his chewed up pen caps and youâve watched his fingers fidget with his lips while heâs deep in thought, it just seemed obvious. but now that youâre a far more seasoned lover, youâve come to discover itâs nothing to do w the mouth. itâs everything to do with the tongue. when youâre kissing, he always gets straight to the point. he parts your lips with his, introducing his tongue as if he couldnât wait to wedge it in there. he wants to slide it against yours and feel it twist around. he wants the kiss to be wet. he wants the drool to gather at the corners n drip down the chin. he wants to probe the back of your throat, tilting his head so he can reach in deeper. if he could get you to gag on his tongue he would. he goes fucking wild if you suck on it. first time you did it it was like magic. he fell limp against you with a sigh of pure relief that shot straight to your core. it was rewarded with an adorable fervor when it was your turn, sucking on the shaft of your tongue with a subtle bob of his head. although you didnât have the same delighted reactionâperhaps the sensation was different for youâsomething about his enthusiasm made it worth it.
oscar piastri the man that you are⊠could have dnfâed like 5 others this race but was the only one to fight back, get his ass back on track, UNLAP HIMSELF and get points. unbelievable drive.
spencer never needed to define what this was, until you did. now, the box is open, the outcome inevitable, and he has never been so happy to lose an argument.
pairings: spencer reid x fem!reader
warnings: situationship (ish? it gets resolved fast lol), mutual pining, friends to lovers (except they've been kissing for months), mention of heavy makeout, lap sitting, shirt removal, spencer kissing you to shut you the fuck up, cat does not survive the experiment (metaphorically speaking, there is no animal killing in this fic LOL)
wc: 1.4k
request: here
Your body is warm in his lap, your weight pressing down just enough to be distracting â no, disorienting â and Spencer is trying very hard not to look at your lips. Not just because theyâre parted, slick, and kiss-swollen, but because the soft smudge of your lip gloss is evidence that this has been happening. That heâs been kissing you long enough to leave proof of it.
Mascara has clumped just slightly at the corners of your lashes and thereâs a half-moon of pink polish chipped at the very edge of your thumbnail.
Heâs obsessing over details. Your pupils are dilated, swallowing every fleck of color. He knows itâs a physiological response â dopamine, norepinephrine, oxytocin, all working in tandem to make you look like this, flushed and increasingly pretty on his thighs.
Itâs easier to focus on biology than it is to focus on the fact that this moment exists in a state of suspended reality.
This was new. Not just in the way that everything between you had been new, in the way that months of small, careful steps had led to this, but in the way that Spencer had never felt like this. Overheated. Overwhelmed. Overrun with sensation. It had started as everything else had â soft and slow, the kind of kissing that didnât lead anywhere except to more kissing.Â
And for months, he convinced himself that he could exist in this purgatory of lips meeting and parting, of hands resting politely at your waist. That he could always pull away before the ground gave away beneath him.
Today the ground was gone.
Spencer had never been particularly drawn to categories â not in the way people seemed to crave them. Labels had always felt limiting, reductive, forcing the complexities of human relationships into neat little boxes that never quite fit. He had been content in ambiguity, had never needed something to be named in order to understand it.Â
With you, the lack of label wasnât liberating, it was frustrating. Because if this wasnât something that could be named, then what was it?
âIâm just saying, I feel like if Rossi can write a whole book about a case, then I should at least be able to mention it in passing at brunch.â Your fingers skate absentmindedly across the dip of his throat, and Spencer, entranced, forgets to do something as basic as breathe. Oxygen is apparently optional. âBut no, apparently thatâs an inappropriate topic over eggs benedict. Which, okay, sure, but if I have to sit through another conversation about Carlyâs fianceâs fantasy football league, I think I deserve to liven it up a little, you know?â
Your genuine need for an answer is clear, but Spencer canât even remember what brunch is.
You gesture when you talk, and itâs so innocent â just emphasis, just a habit â but right now, itâs destroying him. Your fingers drag absently up his arm, over the soft material of his sweater, mapping the line of his forearm before skimming back up his neck. And then, like you donât even realize youâre doing it, your palms smooth over his chest, fingertips tapping lightly against his collarbone like youâre idly counting his heartbeats. Spencer is painfully aware of every single one.
This is it, he thinks. This is how he dies. But he canât decide what would kill him faster â how you touch him, or the moment you stop.Â
Spencer manages to clear his throat â barely.
âI think your friends donât appreciate you enough.â His voice sounds strained, but any attempt at analyzing tone evaporates the second his fingers breach the barrier of your shirt.Â
Warm fingertips skim over bare skin, and suddenly, the conversation seems wildly misplaced. Because what was that about appreciation? If heâs trying to prove a point, heâs making it very convincingly.
You hum, shifting against him â not intentionally, probably, but it doesnât matter, because he feels it all the same.
âWell, I canât just hang out with you constantly.â
Spencer isnât sure how to respond â because if heâs honest, thatâs exactly what he wants. You, constantly. No breaks, no buffer. Just you.
Instead, he stares at your mouth again, because his brain is broken, and this is the inevitable destination. He never really understood the appeal of making out before you â before that first time, when he was supposed to just kiss you once and somehow ended up losing entire minutes of his life to your lips, to the sheer pleasure of pressing against you, of drinking in your sounds.
His broken brain is built to reinforce pleasure-seeking behaviors. Neurochemical feedback loops, all of it designed to keep him coming back. To keep him wanting. As if he needed the help.
Spencer doesnât even pretend to think about it before saying, âYou say that like itâs a bad thing.âÂ
Your lips twitch. Youâre about to tease him, he can tell.
âIt wouldnât be a bad thing at all,â you say, tilting your head. âBut wasnât it you who went on that tangent about how platonic relationships significantly improve cognitive function?â
Spencer tries to find a loophole in that statement.
âAnd we,â you say, tracing a path down the trail of hair at his navel, âare not exactly fulfilling the platonic requirement.â
There was a time when he would have insisted â vehemently, even â that their relationship was strictly platonic. Foolâs errand.
âI mean, technically, if we wanted to be platonic, we could just⊠say we are.â That alone is egregiously incorrect. Spencer prepares to say as much, but then you pause, rolling the thought over like youâre actually considering it, before adding, âLike if we donât label it, then it doesnât count, right?â
His first instinct is to argue. His second instinct is to really argue. But neither one survives the sensory overload of you pressed against him.
âItâs like when you donât open your credit card statements,â you continue, lips pursed. âSure, the debt exists, but if you donât acknowledge it, then it doesnât feel real. So technically, if we just never say what this is, then itâsâŠâ
âSchrödingerâs relationship?â
Spencer doesnât know why he gives you the words â why he hands you the metaphor like a loaded gun and watches as you take perfect aim.
âExactly! We exist in a state of undefined possibilities. Weâre both platonic and not platonic until we open the box.â
Spencer sighs, rubbing at his temple, because now his entire brain is consumed by the implications of your logic.Â
Schrödingerâs cat was never meant to be a real experiment â just a way to illustrate how, in quantum mechanics, particles can exist in multiple states until measured. The cat is placed in a box, along with a vial of poison triggered by a completely random quantum event. Until the box is opened, itâs both alive and dead, trapped in an impossible in-between, a paradox that shouldnât exist but somehow does. The problem is, that concept doesnât translate perfectly to relationships. People arenât quantum particles. Relationships donât exist in probability states.
Except, apparently, this one does. Because as long as neither of you put a definitive label on whatâs happening here, you exist in an undefined state.Â
He glances at you, at the expectant look in your eyes, and something about it makes him laugh, not because this is funny, necessarily, but because of course it would take a physics analogy for him to see whatâs been obvious all along.
âIâm fairly certain that if we opened the metaphorical box, we would find that the cat â that is, our relationship â was decidedly not platonic.â
He hopes youâll take the words for what they mean. That, for once, you wonât take the obvious escape route, wonât let yourself tuck this moment nearly into the realm of plausible deniability.
Because what he really said â what he really meant â was that he wants you. Only you. Singular, exclusive, definitively. If you pressed him for stronger language, heâd give it to you.
Your face was quick to light up.
âAre you asking me to go steady? Because Spencer, thatâs a serious commitment. That means shared desserts, and, like, the expectation that I text you goodnight. And whatâs the policy on PDA? Full access or ââ
The rest of your sentence vanishes into fabric as Spencer pulls your shirt over your head, words muffled into cotton. You let out a muffled protest, momentarily caught in the fabric, and Spencer swears heâs never been more tempted to laugh at anything in his life.
By the time he tosses your shirt aside, youâve recovered, blinking at him like nothing happened, hair adorably mussed.
â â case-by-case basis?â
Spencer drags his hands down your hair, smoothing out the worst of the damage. He sighs dramatically, but his lips are twitching. âIf I had known going steady required this much paperwork, I wouldâve reconsidered.â
You grin at him. âOh, you think this is bad? Just wait until we get into the holiday gift-giving policies and date night scheduling. Speaking of which ââ
He doesnât let you finish. He kisses you mid-sentence, less because he wants to shut you up (though thatâs a nice bonus) and more because he can. Because he gets to. Because somehow, without him even realizing it was happening, this wonderful, impossible thing has become real.
This thing between you, this thing that was supposed to be undefined, a quantum maybe â itâs never been uncertain. Itâs never been both platonic and not platonic, no matter how long he tried to pretend otherwise.
No, the box is open now. It probably always was.Â
And Spencer had never been so happy to kill the cat.
đ masterlist
taglist has been disbanned! if you want to get updates about my writings follow and turn notifications on for my account strictly for reblogging my works! @mariasreblogs
girl⊠what are you doing to meeeeee. you canât keep getting away with this. you have the audacity to sit down and write something, feigning nonchalance, when really youâre plotting to destroy me with your words every time. iâve never felt more single than after reading one of your ficsâŠEVER.
this is the cutest shit iâve ever read.
âIf I had known going steady required this much paperwork, I wouldâve reconsidered.â
SIR. LIKE YOU DIDNâT JUST POINT OUT EVERY SINGLE DETAIL OF HER PRESENCE ON UR LAP. LIKE YOU DIDNâT JUST ADMIT TO RESORTING TO BIOLOGY TO CEMENT THIS MOMENT AS REALITY BC IT FEELS UNREAL.
MARIA. girl, im sorry im yelling, but i literally AM. IM SCREAMING.
tldr: this is the cutest thing iâve ever read, im so single it hurts, everything maria writes causes me the most addictive sort of emotional pain, and im in love with her.
You couldnât concentrate on much else. It was ridiculous. Absurd. Completely unnecessary. And yetâŠ
You had googled him.
You had googled Aaron Hotchner.
And oh boy did you find things.
FBI Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner. Head of some ultra-serious-sounding department in behavioural analysis. There were articles. Court cases. Mentions of serial killers â plural. You even found a grainy news clip of him giving a statement outside a police station, looking all important and broody.
And as if that wasnât enough, there were forums. Entire internet threads dedicated to the man. Debates on how often he smiled. Speculation on his past. A truly unhinged corner of the internet where a small but passionate group of people seemed convinced he had once been a male model.
You may or may not have spent a questionable amount of time scrolling through that last one.
Which led you here. More specifically in the FBI headquarters parking lot.
Okay, you were actually insane. But you had good intentions. Intentions of thanking him properly for the night of madness he had endured.
So, you had baked him cookies. Because, according to your mother, the way to a manâs heart is through his stomach â which was a wildly inappropriate saying to be applying to an FBI agent, but here you were.
You took a deep breath, staring up at the intimidating glass doors, clutching your box of cookies like it was a ticking time bomb. This was fine. Completely normal. People brought cookies to law enforcement all the time⊠right?
Swallowing your nerves, you marched inside, heels clicking against the polished floor as you approached the receptionistâs desk. The woman behind the counter barely glanced up as she typed away at her computer.
âHi! Uh, could you do me a favour and give these to an Aaron Hotchner?â you asked, setting the box down with a nervous smile. âHeâs, um, Unit Chief of something very official and serious, which Iâm sure you already know, but I just wanted to thank him because he helped me out of a situation â not like a legal situation, nothing weird, Iâm not a criminal or anything â oh my God, that sounded suspicious ââ
The receptionist finally looked up, blinking slowly. âMaâam?â
You let out an awkward laugh, waving a hand. âI mean, technically, everyone is a criminal in some way, right? Like, who hasnât jaywalked or taken a pen from a bank? Oh my God, Iâm not confessing to anything, I just ââ
âMaâam,â the receptionist interrupted, her voice flat. âAre you delivering something, orâŠ?â
âWow, you guys are really strict on the whole professionalism thing, huh?â You huffed, then quickly corrected yourself. âNot that Iâm not professional. I can be professional. I wore a blazer once.â You paused, glancing at her name badge. âClarissa! I am delivering cookies. They are divine, you can have one if youâd like?â
Clarissa squinted at you, clearly debating whether or not to press a panic button â one that, realistically, would probably result in you being swarmed by tactical agents in full riot gear.
Was that even the FBI? Or was that, like⊠SWAT? Was SWAT part of the FBI? Were you about to go down for cookie-related crimes?
âAre you cleared to be here?â she asked.
âDepends on your definition of cleared ââ
âAlright, sweetheart, letâs take a breath before you actually incriminate yourself.â
You shook your head, exhaling dramatically. âI just made him some cookies as a thank you. Do you mind passing them on to him, please? And then I can get out of yours and Clarissaâs hair. You have fabulous hair, both of you, by the way.â
Clarissa stared at you like you were personally responsible for every inconvenience that had ever befallen her. Rossi, on the other hand, grinned like you had just made his entire day.
âYou know what? No,â he said, shaking his head. âYou should give them to him yourself.â
Your stomach dropped. âOh, no, thatâs not necessary ââ
âI insist.â
Clarissa folded her arms. âSheâs not authorised to be here.â
Rossi rolled his eyes. âClarissa, Iâve worked in this building longer than some agents have been alive. If I say sheâs authorised, sheâs authorised.â
Clarissa let out a long-suffering sigh but didnât argue further.
âCome on, sweetheart. Letâs go surprise Hotch.â
You let out a weak laugh. âOh. Yay.â
Rossi led you through security and about four different hallways before you found yourself in an elevator. You barely had time to process what was happening before you were stepping into a bullpen that made your brain go fuzzy. There were far too many people in suits, all looking intimidatingly competent.
A woman with blonde hair and a bright cardigan â finally someone who understood the power of colour â shot you an intrigued glance over the top of her glasses.
âI really donât think this is necessary, David,â you whispered. âYou guys look like busy, busy people, and I just wanted to bring some cookies. I donât think Hotch will appreciate being called out of his very legitimate FBI career just for me.â
âOh, I know he wonât.â
âOkay, now youâre making me panic, and I have a habit of jumping to conclusions when Iâm under a lot of stress. Please, really, itâs no big deal ââ
âYeah, Hotch mentioned something along those lines,â Rossi hummed as the two of you came to a halt in front of a door, to which he knocked before stepping inside.
You followed hesitantly, barely making it over the threshold before you locked eyes with Hotch, who was standing behind his desk, looking very confused.
Rossi gestured at you grandly. âLook who I found wandering the FBI headquarters.â
âOkay, that makes me sound like a stalker and â wow, okay, I guess maybe I am a stalker, but the good kind, I promise! I come in peace. And with cookies⊠as a thank you.â
âIâll leave you two lovebirds to it,â Rossi grinned, giving you a nudge as he sauntered out, shutting the door behind him with far too much enthusiasm.
Hotch, still staring at you like you had just crash-landed into his office from another dimension, slowly folded his arms. âShould I be concerned?â
âNot until you try one of these,â you said, flipping open the lid of the cookie box, only for your smile to falter the second you actually registered what was inside.
Heart-shaped cookies. Pink frosting. Extra sprinkles.
Oh no.
You stared at them. Then at Hotch. Then back at them.
He was still staring too, looking at the cookies like they were an active FBI case file he wasnât quite sure how to classify.
You let out half a laugh. âOh. Oh, boy.â
Hotch raised a brow, arms still crossed, looking every bit the intimidating federal agent he was.
âOkay, I know what this looks like,â you groaned, snapping the box shut like that would somehow undo the visual catastrophe. âI got slightly carried away â as I tend to â and my mind just kind of⊠took its own course when I was making them. I wasnât thinking about you â well, I was thinking about you, but not like that, I swear. I just â ugh â I put a little bit myself into them.â
Hotch tilted his head. âYourself?â
You nodded, slowly reopening the box as if the cookies might suddenly jump out and throw up edible glitter all over his office. âYou know⊠theyâre kind of chaotic but well-intentioned, possibly too much but ultimately harmless ââ
âHow did you find me here?â
âOh. That.â
He just stared at you.
You cleared your throat, suddenly very interested in the cookie box. âWell, itâs not that hard, you know? I have a great memory, and I did get a pretty solid look at your badge â after I thought you were going to murder me, of course â so I just⊠searched you up.â
His brows lifted.
You panicked. âBut only to figure out where you work so I could bring you cookies! Thatâs it! I had every intention of leaving them with Clarissa but your friend David saw me and said I should bring them up myself. And well⊠now Iâm here.â
Hotchâs hand pinched the bridge of his nose. âOf course he did.â
You rocked on your heels, watching him carefully. âSooo⊠does this mean Iâm officially on an FBI watchlist, or is that, like, a separate process?â
Hotch exhaled, lowering his hand. âYouâre not on a watchlist.â
âOh.â
His brows furrowed. âWould you like to be?â
âI feel like I shouldnât answer that without a lawyer present,â you mumbled, setting the cookies down on his desk.
âSo, let me get this straight. You looked me up, managed to talk your way into a federal building without authorisation all just to bring me heart-shaped cookies?â
You lifted a finger. âOkay, first of all, letâs not make this sound like an obsession â I googled you. Thatâs a normal thing people do! Itâs called being informed. And second, the hearts were an accident. I only had one cookie cutter. You think I wanted to show up here looking like some lovesick lunatic?â
Hotch glanced at the cookies, then back at you. ââŠYes.â
âOkay, well, this has been fun,â you said, dusting your hands before adjusting your jacket. âEnjoy the cookies, and thanks again for the other night,â you continued, already backing toward the door. âI have not had my name mentioned once in the Veronica Posse group chat since, and for the first time in years, I have actually known peace.â
âWait,â he called just as you reached for the door handle. You spun around to face him. âWhy did you really come here?â
Hotch opened his mouth, then closed it. A second passed. Then another. Finally â âYouâre joking, arenât you?â
âI am,â you beamed, completely unbothered by the scowl on his face. Hotch looked like he was about to reply, but his phone began ringing. He glanced down at it on the desk.
âAlright, really leaving now. Iâll let you get back to all this serious business,â you said, but then a realization dawned, making you pause.
Hotch looked back up, brows raising slightly. âWhat is it?â
You shifted, glancing toward the door, then back at him. âSo, funny thing⊠I donât actually know how to get out of here.â
Hotch sighed, shaking his head as he pressed a button to silence his phone before slipping it into his suit jacket. âIâll walk you out.â
âOh, no need,â you replied quickly, waving him off. âIâll just ask David â he loves helping me.â
âThatâs exactly why,â Hotch muttered, already moving toward the door.
You followed Hotch out of his office, barely managing to keep up with his long strides. âWow, you walk fast,â you huffed, adjusting your purse on your shoulder. âIs this an FBI thing? Do you all just power walk everywhere?â
He slowed his pace ever so slightly so you could catch up. As you glanced around, you noticed several pairs of eyes discreetly watching the two of you â one of them being David who had zero shame in making his interest known. You offered him a small wave to which he responded with a not-so-subtle wink. When your eyes landed on Hotch he was watching the exchange.
âKeep walking.â
âI am,â you whispered back, trying not to laugh. âI just happen to also be social.â
âThatâs unfortunate.â
You gasped, doing a light two step jog to catch up. âGosh, what happened to âMarry me, sweetheart?ââ
âYou called it nonsense, remember?â
âI did,â you admitted. âBut that was after you said something that was incredibly true about me.â
Hotch threw you a curious glance. âAnd what was that?â
âThat Iâm too good to consider that group of women my friends, especially ones I feel the need to impress.â
Hotch didnât say anything right away, just reached for the door, pushing it open and holding it for you. As you stepped past him, you caught the smallest trace of something in his expression, something very close to approval.
Stepping into the hallway, you glanced around, already feeling disoriented. âThis place is like a maze,â you muttered, spinning in a small circle before looking back at him. âHow do you manage to not get lost here?â
âSpatial awareness.â
Before you could question him further, you felt his heads on your arms, gently guiding you to the left just as you were about to head right.
âOh. Wow. Okay.â
His lips twitched. âYou were about to walk into a closet.â
This time, you definitely didnât miss the half-smile he tried to hide.
After what felt like literal hours of navigating the endless, identical floors and hallways of the FBI, the two of you finally stepped outside. Freedom at last, you thought, basking in the sight of the actual sun â something youâd only glimpsed through windows you were convinced had some kind of tint designed to make the inside of the building feel even duller.
âDo you know where you parked?â
You scoffed, waving a dismissive hand. âUh, duh. What do you take me for?â
Hotch just looked at you.
You blinked.
Then, very slowly, you turned your head, scanning the parking lot.
Oh, no.
Where did you park?
You wracked your brain, desperately trying to retrace your steps, but the problem was⊠you hadnât exactly been focused when you arrived. You had just parked somewhere and hoped for the best. But now, with Hotch watching you like a disapproving parent, the pressure was on.
You pointed vaguely toward a random row of cars. âItâs⊠that way.â
Hotch didnât even bother looking. âNo, itâs not.â
You spun back to him. âExcuse me?â
âYouâre guessing.â
âI am not.â
âYouâre stalling.â
âI am not!â
Hotch arched a single, knowing brow.
You huffed. âFine. I may be stalling. But in my defence, I had a lot on my mind when I got here!â
Hotch inhaled, glancing at his watch. âJust describe what your car looks like and what you remember seeing when you got here.â
You frowned, thinking. âOkay, so, my car is⊠car-shaped.â
His stare was unmoving.
You cleared your throat. âItâs, uh⊠blue. Or, like, bluish. Depends on the lighting.â
âAnything else?â
You squinted at the parking lot, hoping for divine intervention. âI think I was near⊠a pole?â
âThere are multiple poles.â
âA very specific pole.â
âRight.â
You groaned, rubbing your temples. âUgh, this is so unfair. I have many talents, okay? Parking lot navigation is just not one of them.â
âShocking,â he muttered before moving toward one section of the parking lot. âLetâs start from here.â
You followed, chewing the inside of your cheek.
A few minutes later â after much grumbling, a completely unnecessary debate about why all parking lots look the same, and one slightly humiliating moment where you tried to unlock someone elseâs car â Hotch finally spotted your actual vehicle.
âWould you look at that! There she is, in all her glory!â you sang and this time, when you hit the unlock button, the lights actually flashed. Progress.
You pulled open the driverâs side door and tossed your purse inside before turning back to Hotch. âThank you⊠again.â You let out a laugh. âIt feels like thatâs all I ever say to you.â
Hotch gave a small shrug, hands finding his pockets. âYou do seem to require a lot of rescuing.â
You rolled your eyes, sliding into your seat. âI hate that youâre good at this.â
âGood at what?â
âReading people.â You gestured vaguely in his direction. âItâs very annoying.â
He smiled at you, one hand slipping from his pocket to rest against the edge of your car door. âIâll try to be worse at my job next time.â
You leaned forward, placing your arms on the steering wheel with a playful spark in your eye. âListen, Hotch, Hotchner, Aaron â I have a slight confession to make before I go.â
Hotch stood there, shaking his head like he could not believe he was still standing there entertaining this conversation.
You tapped a finger against the wheel. âSo, if mid-cookie bite you accidentally choke on a piece of paper, do not be alarmed â well, actually do be alarmed. I donât want you to die before youâve asked me out on a date.â You flashed him a pointed look. âBut itâs my number â since apparently, having my address isnât enough.â
âYou hid your number in food?â
âListen, it was either that or carve it into your desk with a knife, and I figured that would raise some concerns with your co-workers.â
Hotch pinched the bridge of his nose again, muttering something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like why me?
âBut, you do have my number now, so really, the ball is in your court, Hotchner.â
âIs it?â
You nodded, sitting up straighter. âMhm. And just so weâre clear â I expect a dramatic, over-the-top use of it. Maybe a cryptic, we need to talk text. Or a mysterious meet me at midnight type of situation.â
Hotchâs lips twitched. âYouâd rather I text you about urgent matters than, say⊠just a normal conversation?â
âAaron Hotchner, are you saying you want to have a normal conversation with me?â
He sighed, stepping back from your car. âDrive home, before I change my mind about letting you leave.â
You smirked, finally turning on the ignition. âOh, so you let me leave now? That is so controlling of you.â
Hotch shook his head as he shut your doorâjust in time for you to lift a hand, making a finger phone gesture and mouthing Call me.
hotch isn't sure how to focus on morgan's words when you're under his desk taking him down your throat
pairings: perv!hotch x fem!reader
warnings: 18+ MDNI, power imbalance, public sex, oral male receiving, deepthroating, hotch being a perv, corruption kink?, voyeuristic tension, just very filthy yall if it's not your vibe scroll, not consistent with hotch's character
wc: 0.9k
Hotch sagged into his chair, knuckles blanched white against the armrests, his breath shuddering through grit teeth.Â
You looked stunning like this.
Knees to the floor, hands braced on his thighs, mouth stretched wide around his cock â eyes blown wide with obedience, submission, need. It was devotion in its purest, filthiest form.
You hadnât always been like this. Heâd made you this way â broken you in, reshaped you into something depraved and desperate for him. He should feel some semblance of guilt, some shred of remorse for training something once pure.
But all he felt was ownership. How could he mourn said purity when corruption looked this pretty on you. His hands drifted into your hair, tangling at the roots, trying to reign himself in, trying not to just hold your head down and fuck his name into your throat.
"That's it, sweet girl."
Your tongue teased the underside of him as you sucked him in, cheeks hollowing out. Spit slicked your lips, dribbled down your chin, but you didnât stop â you just let him sink further, your throat tightening exquisitely around him.
And he saw it. The way your thighs pressed together like it might somehow ease the ache between them. The way your hips jerked, needy and mindless, like you could ride the fucking air if it meant some kind of relief. You were dripping for him. He knew it. Turned on by nothing but the act of taking him down your throat.Â
Hotchâs breath hitched before breaking into a rough, knowing chuckle.
"Sweetheart," he murmured, voice a dark promise, guiding you further down his length inch by inch. "You need something between those pretty thighs, don't you?"
He could see it, picture exactly how messy you were. Slick and swollen, that perfect little cunt drenched enough for him to slide his fingers right in, no resistance at all.Â
You whimpered around him, a fragile, shattered sound that sent pleasure slicing through his body. His fingers dug into your scalp, borderline bruising. His cock pulsed against your tongue as the wet heat of your mouth pulled him deeper, threatening to swallow him whole. He was aware of the irony. His head tipped back, vision going hazy, pleasure teetering on the edge of oblivion.
"That's it, baby. Keep making those pretty sounds for me."
The door swung open without warning, and for a split second, Hotch saw red. Blood-boiling, jaw-clenching, murderous red. Because of course. Because life was a sick, twisted bastard that got off on taking what little gratification he allowed himself.
His fingers curled deeper into your hair, not to punish you, but to warn. Enough to make you understand exactly what was at stake. If you so much as moved, if you got too greedy, too impatient, heâd remember. And later, when you were writhing underneath him, heâd make you beg for forgiveness.
Morgan leaned against the doorway, raising a brow. "You got a second?"
Hotch swallowed hard, suppressing the vicious fuck off that nearly slipped past his lips. A second. Thatâs all it would take â for Morgan to step forward, shift his angle, and see. See what was happening under the desk. See how your tongue was still pressing against the vein of his cock.
From where Morgan stood, he saw nothing but a man at his desk, looking slightly irritated, maybe a little tense.
"I'm a little busy, Morgan." It was a shade too hoarse.
Morgan shrugged, oblivious. "It'll only take a minute."
Hotch risked a glance â brief, fleeting, but enough to see the way you clung to him. Nails biting into his thighs, sharp little crescents pressing into the fabric of his slacks, struggling to stay good for him. But fuck, he could feel everything â every careful swallow, every delicate flutter of your throat, the hot breath against his skin. Holding still changed nothing. If anything, it only made it worse.
Morgan kept talking.
Hotch registered the sound of his voice â something about a lead, an alibi, a suspect â but the words were a distant buzz, drowned out by the blood pounding in his ears. He should be listening. He should care. But focus was a distant concept.
Not when you shifted, the smallest adjustment of your weight. His cock kicked, the sensation slamming into him so hard it left him breathless. His hands moved to his desk, fingers dug so tight it shouldâve splintered the wood. Every muscle strained to fight against the need to react.
"Everything okay?"
Morgan was staring.
Hotch exhaled through his nose. "Fine. Just a headache."
Morgan stretched, rolling his shoulders. "Alright, well I just wanted to keep you in the loop."
Hotch gave a stiff nod. Didnât trust himself to say more. Couldnât risk a single slip.
"Appreciate it." Now get the fuck out.
Morgan turned toward the door, then paused, glancing back. "By the way have you seen angel?"
Hotch didn't react. Didn't move. Didnât breathe. He played it perfectly â except for one fatal mistake.
He looked down.
And Jesus Christ, that was the worst fucking decision in his life.
You were sinful perfection, mouth trapped tight around him, spit glistening at the corner of your lips, those wide, tear-priced eyes looking up at him like you lived to be like this. To be his.Â
âSheâs ââ His voice was scraped down to the bone. He cleared his throat. "She's running an errand for me."
Morgan shook his head. "Man, you gotta let her breathe every once in a while."
And dammit, Hotch almost laughed.
đ masterlist
taglist has been disbanded! if you want to get updates about my writings follow and turn notifications on for my account strictly for reblogging my works! @mariasreblogs
your period tracker warned you to avoid attractive men today. you failed spectacularly
pairings: aaron hotchner x bimbo!assistant!reader
warnings: suggest content for sure, explicit focus on hormonal arousal, sexual tension, pre-relationship pining, mild workplace inappropriateness (internal thoughts only, no action), mention of nipples, hotch being a little shit
wc: 1.5k
a/n: all creds to the amazing @ssamorganhotchner for the request/idea <3
It is too hot in this office, youâve decided. The air conditioning is on, the thermostat reads a reasonable 68 degrees, but you know your body isnât lying to you â something is wrong.Â
You shift uncomfortably in your chair, adjusting the hem of your (probably too short) silk slip skirt, the material clinging to every overheated inch of you. It doesnât help. Nothing will. Because the problem really isnât the temperature. No, the problem is standing across from you, stirring his coffee like itâs not the most erotic thing youâve ever witnessed.
Hotch, all razor sharp lines and rolling forearm veins, stands at the kitchenette counter, completely unaware that you are seconds away from becoming a tragic, melted puddle of lust. His sleeves are pushed up, brows furrowed in concentration as he stirs, and you watch â helpless, transfixed â as his fingers snake around the spoon, the way tendons shift beneath his skin.
Itâs a teaspoon. An inanimate object. Heâs stirring coffee. Thatâs it. And yet, your body reacts spectacularly, like heâs just backed you into the nearest sturdy surface and whispered something so depraved, so explicitly not-safe-for-work, into your ear.
You knew this was coming. Itâs right there in your tracking app â day 11, peak ovulation, high fertility, maximum risk of self-sabotage, avoid contact with attractive men. Avoid Aaron Hotchner, specifically. But here you are, fully within range of the object of your affection, the exact man you should be fleeing, logic tied to the train tracks while hormones drive the speeding locomotive straight to you.
Itâs not your fault, not really. Blame science. Blame nature. Blame evolution.
You feel like youâre not breathing, not functioning, gripping your pen so tightly, itâs a miracle it hasnât shattered into shrapnel. All because Hotch is walking by.
âGood morning.â
âOh â hi! Yes! Good morning! Great morning. Beautiful morning. Gorgeous morning, actually. Just â wow. Look at us. In the morning.â
The second it leaves your mouth, you want to die.
Hotch, to his eternal credit, does not react immediately. He pauses mid-step, head tilting slightly, like heâs running a quick internal diagnostic to determine whether or not he should be concerned.
â...Right.â He finally says again, before shaking his head and walking into his office.
You cannot do this today. And according to your normal, non-biological-doomsday schedule, youâre supposed to review updated case files with Hotch today â which entails standing next to him, pointing things out, maybe even brushing hands if the universe is feeling particularly sadistic.
You hover over the keyboard, preparing to type out a very sudden, very dramatic resignation email, but before you can hit send â Reid passes your desk.
âSpencer!â
You latch onto him immediately, grabbing his wrist.
âJesus, what?â Spencer stumbles mid-step, nearly dropping his phone.
Then, his eyes flicker over you, scanning everything â your flushed cheeks, the way youâre practically vibrating with tension, the slight glossy daze in your eyes that suggests either a medical emergency or a particularly brutal hangover.
âWhatâs wrong with you?â
Not in an unkind way. In a genuine, confused, and slightly alarmed way.
You shove the file at him so fast that a few loose papers nearly fall out, ignoring his question. âCan you go over this case file with Hotch for me?â
Spencer looks down at the file, flips through it once. âWhy?â
âBecause â uh â I have to, um⊠reorganize the supply closet.â
Spencer raises a brow.Â
You switch strategies instantly. âOkay, okay â listen, Iâll let you pick the next five movie nights, and I wonât complain once. Even if you make me watch 2001: A Space Odyssey again.â
âFive movie nights?â
âYes. Uninterrupted. No protests. No phone distractions.â
The second the word deal leaves Spencerâs mouth, you explode into motion, flinging yourself at him, arms around his neck.
âHave I ever told you that you are the single greatest human being to ever exist?â
Spencer makes a deep, pained noise, stumbling back, but he doesnât fight it â merely sighs deeply, long-suffering but tolerant, before patting your back exactly once, resigned to his fate.
âYou tell me weekly,â he mutters, but thereâs a little laugh hidden in the words. He pries you off gently, shaking his head as he turns toward Hotchâs office. âOkay, okay. Before you suffocate me, Iâm going.â
Spencer leaves, and for a second, you convince yourself you might actually make it though the day.
You are so wrong.
By lunch, you have died and resurrected at least sixteen times. Maybe more. Itâs hard to say because you stopped functioning somewhere around incident three.
First the tie. One casual tug at the knot, loosening it just enough to reveal the cut of his throat. You nearly walked into a wall. Then, the glasses. The stupidest, most intellectual accessory known to man, perched low on his nose like some stern professor who graded mercilessly but might just let you stay after class for some extra credit. You had to physically sit down. And the final straw involved Hotch undoing a single button on his dress shirt. You had to assume you blacked out.
So now, here you are, in the breakroom, white-knuckling the counter, silently begging for the inferno raging in your body to calm the hell down. Youâd spent your entire lunch break sprinting through department stores in search of a new blouse, because your previous one was rubbing against your already painfully sensitive nipples with every breath.
You yank at the neckline, cursing yourself six ways to Sunday for not trying the thing on before swiping your card. It doesnât just fit snugly, it practically announces your ongoing crisis, the material stretching so perfectly over your nipples that you might as well be wearing a sign that flashes noticeably aroused.
The door opens, and you donât even have to look. You already know who it is.
Thereâs a half-second delay before you risk looking up â just in time to catch the downward sweep thatâs over as quickly as it came, his discipline snapping back into place like a rubber band.
Your stomach clenches, because oh, great, that is not helping. Not when youâve been exceedingly well-behaved all morning, and definitely not when all you can think about is how you want him to rip your clothes off and put the unassuming breakroom table behind you to the kind of use that would get HR involved.
His jaw ticks, and then, in a flat, exhausted tone. âDo I even want to know whatâs going on with you?â
No. No, he does not. Unless, of course, heâs invested in hearing about how youâve had to swap out your underwear three separate times today just from existing in the same vicinity as him. In which, by all means, he should stay. But if he values his peace of mind (and you know him well enough to know he does) he should probably just walk away. Quickly. Before you start getting ideas.
âNothing! Iâm great! Never been better, actually.â You nod once, as if that seals it. âAll good. Just, um, a little warm, thatâs all.â
âYouâre sweating,â he observes, unimpressed.
He steps closer and youâre certain the temperature in the room spikes by at least ten degrees.Â
Then, as if he wasnât already being reckless with your well-being, he lifts a hand, pressing the back of his fingers to your collarbone. His brow furrows. âYou do feel warm. Are you coming down with something?â
âYeah.â Technically, itâs not a lie. Something is happening to you, itâs just not the flu. âArenât you â arenât you supposed to feel my forehead?â
âYeah, but then Iâd have to listen to you complain about how I ruined your makeup.â
Of course he would know youâd spent an ungodly amount of time on your makeup this morning.
If you had any sort of claim on this man, you would be on your knees so fast, your coworkers would hear the impact from across the office.
Hotch studies you for a second longer, then his hand moves, his fingers brushing up the column of your throat. Heâs not even thinking about it. Itâs gentle, like heâs feeling for something.
âYou sure thatâs all this is?â he murmurs, thumb sweeping into the tense muscle there. âYou can tell me if somethingâs wrong.â
âY-yeah. Iâm fine. Totally fine.â You can tell he doesn't believe you from the way his brows pinch, but he doesnât press. âWould it be okay if I went home early? I mean, unless you need me for something.â
âI mean, I always need you,â he says, devastating in its casualness. You make a noise in response, but just as casually, he sobers, hand falling away as he takes a step back. âGo home. Hydrate, eat something with actual nutrients, and try to rest. If you still feel bad tomorrow, I donât want to see you in the office.â
You nod and blurt out, âYep. Totally. Iâll, um â drink a lot. Not â not alcohol, though. Water. Obviously.â
Hotch pauses, his mouth pressing into the kind of line that means heâs trying very hard not to laugh. He gives you a slow, knowing nod before heading for the door.
You somehow manage to pack up your things, make it to the parking lot, and drop into the driverâs seat without further public humiliation. But just as youâre fumbling for your keys, your phone buzzes.
Mr. Bossman â€ïžâđ„: If youâre still feeling warm, a cold shower might help.
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taglist has been disbanned! if you want to get updates about my writings follow and turn notifications on for my account strictly for reblogging my works! @mariasreblogs
âI mean, I always need youâ spoken casually (at least, from her perspective) is DIABOLICAL.
tbh at least sheâs ovulating; sheâs got a fuckin biological reason to be this down bad for him. im over here, gnawing at the bars of my enclosure, spasming at the every slight fictional movement he makes (how dare he brush her collarbone??? while sheâs basically in heat?????) bashing my phone against my skull to see if thereâs any capacity for this man to penetrate my brain box even moreâŠ
im seconds away from confessing my love to u, maria, bc i prefer ur version of this man over the fuckin canonical one. u write him SO. WELL. i hope ur pillow is cold, ur microwave heats everything perfectly even, and ur shoelaces never untie on their own. MWAH XX
hey hey so donât imagine hotch being obsessed with tugging your pony tail.
donât think about how when youâre at work, heâd try to be professional but youâre being just a little too flirty, a little too cute, and he just canât help himself. how heâd walk past your desk, hook a finger around it, and give it a gentle tug.
and how heâd get the tiniest smirk on his face when you turn around all wide-eyed and flustered.
and how heâd say something like, âeyes on your work.â
donât think about how if you have a habit of puffing out your cheeks when youâre frustrated, especially when hotch is a little stern with you, heâd just walk past you, give your pony tail a yank and say, âquit pointing.â
and how youâd probably pout harder
definitely don't think about how youâd be out somewhere with the team, maybe at a bar, and some guy is talking to you a little too long. youâre not even interested but hotch is watching and waiting until heâs had enough. how he would step in close, fingers curling around the base of your ponytail and gently tug you back against him.
âi think sheâs good,â heâd tell the guy. youâd be weak in the knees.
donât think about how one day youâd be rushing into work, ponytail a little messy and he notices. it would be early, just the two of you and he wouldnât say a word, just stands behind you, smooths a hand over your head and redoes your ponytail. and how when heâs done heâd let the ends of it slip through his fingers before pulling it.
âbetter.â and how heâd just walk off like it didnât completely derail your morning.
AND FOR SURE DO NOT THINK about how heâd have you in his lap every evening, one hand gripping your ponytail to keep you from going anywhere, from looking anywhere but him.
⊠maria⊠youâve unleashed something within me bc what is thisssssss. ugh. the idea of him fixing her ponytail makes me melt.
iâve also always thought heâd love gently braiding his girlâs hair? like, sheâs resting between his legs on the couch, show playing on the tv, and heâs a lil touchy mf whenever theyâre all domestic like this bc he doesnât truly care to be watching Gossip Girl or Say Yes To The Dress reruns (but heâd never say that out loud. heâs plenty happy occupying himself, half paying attention and making a quiet comment once in a while.)
heâs running his hands over her shoulders, massaging them and up her neck, leaning down and dotting little kisses across her skin. heâs raking his fingers through her hair, tucking it behind her ears.
and thenâsoftlyâhe sections her hair between his fingers and twists em together. he does it over and over, shifting sections over, under, and around each other until the episode nears its end.
itâs nothing too intricateâa simple braid, not too tight or too loose. but there isnât a hair out of place as it rests straight down her neck like an extension of her spine. finished off with sleepy little kisses against her neck and fingertips dragging gently down her arm in search of the hair tie around her wrist.
heâs convinced himself itâs a somewhat selfish action he does, too. because he loves to see her the next morning, hair still somewhat contained in the style he put it in, but more bedraggled and unkempt, pieces having fallen out to frame her face.
and heâd never mention it, but he gets a tad emotional the rest of the day, seeing the soft waves left in your hair from his doing; nothing anyone would truly notice, but a quiet, visual reminder that a part of him lingers with you, even when he canât be there.
PSA. When Spencer cums into you he would be loosing it. Messy thrusts, mumbling, whining, pleading. He literally would beg you to look at him, the eye contact would push him over the edge and heâd collapse into you, his hips pushing yours hard into the mattress as his arms pull you impossible closer. Panting breaths on your neck.
And the gentle but steady nudges against your soft spot would be punctured by a single hard thrust that would have you seeing stars. And his dick just throbbing in you as he spills, alongside his soft apologies into your shoulder as he bites down.
Plus when heâs done orgasming heâs holding onto your hips and pushing himself just a little deeper cause he canât help himself, you just feel so good fluttering around him as you come down from your high.
Heâd also whine when you ask him to pull out, not because he doesnât respect your boundaries and wishes, but because he loves how intensely connected you guys are, slick skin on skin, his head in between your shoulder, his breathe under your ear making you shiver.
hiii, just read third date rule & it was absolute perfection!!! <3
also hotch definitely bought the engagement ring either before or after the first date (maybe even before then)
hi hi yes i have thoughts!!!!!!!!!!! hotch buying a ring is literally infecting my brain so
hotch 1000000% bought the ring way too early. was it before the first date? maybe. was it before you even realized you were dating? even more likely. was it before you even kissed? would not put it past him actually.
it definitely starts as something subconscious, like he tells himself he's just browsing, so casual, totally normal thing to do when one's assistant is constantly talking about how you want a sparkly, enormous, gorgeous ring just for fun.
and the he sees it. it's big. it's sparkly. it's obnoxiously beautiful in a way that reminds him so much of you.
and suddenly, he's in the store, nodding politely while the sales woman gushes about how it's such a stunning choice.
and then the woman definitely asks him like are you thinking of proposing soon?
and aaron, who has literally never even kissed you, never even taken you on a single date, never even admitted out loud that he wants you, just stares.
because he doesn't know what to say!!!! he's just buying it for fun? just in case? just to hold onto while he pretends he's completely not head over heels for a woman he's not evening dating?????
so he just nods. and he buys the damn ring.
i feel like for weeks the ring just burns a hole into his complete existence. he probably hides it in his nightstand, telling himself it means nothing, that it's just insurance. he doesn't have to use it.
but then, one evening, you show up at this apartment with like homemade cupcakes or something with pink frosting and edible glitter and just plops down on his couch like you belongs there.
and then suddenly, he's gripping the armrest because the urge to go get the ring, drop to one knee and ask you to marry him on the stop is so intense it like literally hurts him.
and you're just sitting there, licking frosting off your finger, rambling about the team and something nonsensical, and hotch is just staring at you, wondering like would it be insane to just... do it????
to skip all the unnecessary steps, to just tell you right now that you're it. that you always have been. that there is no one else.
hiii, more bimbo!assistant!reader calling hotch, daddy, pleaseeeeeđđ«¶đ»đđ
ilyyy!! <3
Bought & Paid For - A.H
summary: you push hotch's buttons just to see how far you can take it, and today, you finally find out
pairings: aaron hotchner x bimbo!assistant!reader
warnings: suggestive content, reader calling hotch daddy, hotch blatantly staring at r's ass, established relationship, slight brat taming undertones perhaps?
wc: 0.6k
Youâre talking about almond milk.
Or, at least, you were talking about almond milk â now youâre on some tangent about how store-brand oat milk is never as creamy as the one from that overpriced cafe near your apartment. He has no idea how you got here. Heâs not even sure you know.
Your face is full of conviction â deeply invested in a topic that no rational person should have these many feelings about. Itâs⊠impressive. Baffling, but impressive.
Hotch should be paying better attention, filing this long-winded dairy dissertation for the next time you inevitably guilt him into fetching your morning sugar bomb like some kind of begrudging personal assistant.
Heâs not oblivious to the irony.
Instead, heâs watching you slide into the passenger seat, and instead, heâs having a private moment of reflection about how you absolutely cannot wear those jeans in public.Â
Because they were almost pornographic.
Because they make it very, very clear whatâs beneath them which makes it very impossible to think about anything else.
Because they make him look stupid.
He had told you. Repeatedly. Jeans should not cost that much. They were jeans â denim, mass-produced, entirely unnecessary at that price point. You could buy three pairs for half the cost, and no one would know the difference.Â
He looked you in the eye and declared, with absolute authority, that he would not enable this behavior.
And then you pouted. And he pulled out his wallet like an absolute disgrace to his own principles.
He was actively experiencing the consequences of his own actions in real time.
Because youâre wearing them to go grocery shopping now and heâs going to spend the next hour fighting the very real, very primal urge to knock out every man who so much as glances at what he paid for.
He hands you your purse once youâre settled, barely paying attention, already running through the mental checklist of things that need to be done before he can call this errand over.
And then you flash him a quick, unassuming smile. âThanks, daddy.â
His fingers still on the door handle, entire body seizing, breath catching mid-inhale as his brain tries â and fails â to process whether he actually heard you correctly.
His pulse goes from stable to needing immediate medical attention in a matter of seconds.
He straightens like someone just pulled a gun on him, adjusting his watch even though it does not need adjusting. Forces himself to level you with the most unaffected look he can manage.Â
âSweetheart, thatâs not appropriate.â
You blink up at him, all wide-eyed innocence that he knows is fake. âWhy?â
His fingers drum once against the car before curling into metal, grip bordering on savage, white-knuckled tension bleeding into every line of his body, the only outlet for something too risky to be voiced.
It doesnât help that you look exceedingly gorgeous in daylight. That the sun â a merciless accomplice in your destruction of him â has taken it upon itself to illuminate every detail.
That you decided today was the day to try a new blush. That you had stood in front of him this morning, asking if it made you look pretty like you didnât already know how impassioned he felt about that answer.
Like you werenât a loaded weapon wrapped in silk and perfume, soft where you should be sharp, lethal in ways that have nothing to do with intent.
And now, here you are, stacking problems on top of problems, and he has to somehow be the one to keep himself in check.
He exhales sharply, glancing away for a second â a brief, necessary reprieve â before settling his gaze back on you. âBecause you know exactly what youâre doing, and I strongly suggest you stop.â
You bat your lashes. âI really donât know what you mean, daddy.â
He doesnât think â thereâs no room for thought, no time between your words and his reaction. One second, youâre in the passenger seat, smirking, and the next, youâre hauled up and over his shoulder, one arm locked around your waist, and the other gripping your ass, fingers digging into the denim that started this whole damn mess.
You squirm, thrashing in the most unconvincing, unserious way imaginable, laughter spilling from your lips in delighted, unrepentant little bursts, and he knows it down to his very core that you are enjoying this far more than you should.Â
And despite his better judgment, so is he.
âHey! The groceries â,â
âGroceries can wait.â
Hotch doesnât even pretend this trip is still happening. The moment the words left your mouth, the destination changed, the entire purpose of this errand replaced by something far more immediate and deserved.
So he spins on his heel and carries you straight back to the house with the ease of a man handling something he fully intends to deal with.Â
Because this is about balance, about the fundamental laws of action and reaction, about the way you tip the scales just to see what it takes to tip them back.Â
And because, if nothing else, youâll think twice before calling him that again.
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taglist has been disbanned! if you want to get updates about my writings follow and turn notifications on for my account strictly for reblogging my works! @mariasreblogs
ok so reader is a translator for the bau and theyâre always reading and translating texts or calls or anything like that. and the reader to spencer is basically like penelope to derek. they flirt all the time and all of those lovely things.. and itâs kinda just where theyâre flirting on the phone and morgan teases reid about it and reid gets all flustered
IDK IF IT CAN WORK I JUST LOVE FLUSTERED SPENCER :(
anyway iâll probably be in your inbox a bunch uhhh so call me h or something
-h
Warm Under the Collar - S.R
summary: spencer insists he is not flirting. morgan insists that spencer absolutely is. one of them is lying.
pairings: spencer reid x translator!reader
warnings: heavy flirting, pre-relationship mutual pining, verbal sparring as foreplay, workplace hr violations, use of angel
wc: 0.6k
âAre you thinking about me, Dr. Reid? Because Iâve been thinking about you.â
Spencer exhales, tugging at the collar of his dress shirt as if loosening it might alleviate the sudden stranglehold of your words. He wasnât sure if it was always this constricting or if it was conspiring against him at the mere sound of your voice.
He rolls his eyes, performative, really, because you canât see him, and itâs easier to feign exasperation than admit the effect you have on him. His mouth, however, twitches in betrayal, flirting with a smile before he crushes it.Â
The crime board he was supposed to be focusing on, filled with monochrome photos and reports, was now blurring into meaningless scribbles as his thoughts veer off-course, plummeting headfirst into you.
âIâm always thinking about you.â
The words come easily because they require no effort to be true. Always isnât hyperbole, itâs a mathematical constant, an irrefutable fact.
He was thinking about you before he even called you, felt the shape of you in his mind like an afterimage burned onto his retinas.Â
Thought about what color you were wearing, whether your hair was up or down. He wondered if youâd eaten, if you were drinking enough water, if youâd remembered to bring a jacket to the office because the temperature had dropped unexpectedly.Â
âAlways? Spencer, if you wanted me that bad, all you had to do was say so.â
He isnât sure why he hesitates â why his brain takes a detour through all the ways he has said so, if not in words, then in the way his thoughts orbit you like a law of nature.Â
âI feel like I did say so. Quite literally. But if youâd like me to be more explicit about it, Iâm happy to oblige.â
Another pause. He wonders if youâre smiling.
âMmm, well, Iâm certainly not going to stop you.â You sigh, a little dramatic. âGo ahead, be explicit.â
Spencer physically winces at how hot his face gets. The very concept of explicit sits indecently in the pit of his stomach.
âTempting.â He exhales, rubs a hand down his face, forcibly redirects. âBut I do actually have a job to do. And, lucky for me, it just so happens to require your specific set of skills.âÂ
He leans against the crime board, half-smirking despite himself, because if nothing else, this is fun â the sharp back-and-forth, the way you press all the right buttons just to see what happens.
âI have a recording that needs translating. Think you can focus for long enough to help me, or do I need to, I donât know, compliment your intelligence first to get you in a professional mindset?â
âComplimenting my intelligence to get what you want? Interesting. Manipulative, even.â
He groans, tilting his head toward the ceiling, appealing to some higher power for patience. He pinches the bridge of his nose. âI didnât say I was going to ââ
âToo late, you put the idea in my head, and now I expect it. Preferably in an eloquent, well-structured speech. Bonus points if you make it poetic.â
âOr,â he counters, âyou could translate the recording first, and Iâll⊠circle back to stroking your ego at a later, more convenient time.â
A small pause. The kind that feels intentional, like youâre weighing your options.
âI guess that works,â you say. âSend it over, pretty boy.â
Spencer shakes his head, fingers moving on autopilot as he sends the file, because if he thinks too hard about the way you lilted that last pretty boy, he might die. âAlright, thanks. Be good, angel.â
He hangs up, still grinning like an idiot, still entirely too warm under the collar. He exhales, staring at the phone in his hand like it might have the decency to cool him off, maybe undo the physiological mess youâve left him in.
âIf I have to listen to one more of your phone calls with her, Iâm sending yâall an invoice.â
Spencer freezes when he sees Morgan standing behind him.
He clears his throat, ignoring the flush he knew was climbing up his neck. âFlirting is an unsubstantiated claim.â
Morgan just stares at him. Stares. âYou donât even believe that.â
Spencer mutters something about professionalism because heâs nothing if not a walking contradiction.
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taglist has been disbanned! if you want to get updates about my writings follow and turn notifications on for my account strictly for reblogging my works! @mariasreblogs
screaming crying throwing up at this new character. i want them hooking up in a coat closet, a glass from wine drunk, at rossiâs IMMEDIATELY. (this also kinda gives me sassy short haired reid vibes sm and im obsessed??)
âbe good, angel.â âŒïžâŒïžâŒïž WHAT IF I DIED?
maria, u donât gimme a minute to breatheeee. âthird date ruleâ was posted yesterday and now this? u love us and feed us so well đ„č
That anon was living under a rock because your smut fics (all of your fics tbh!) I reread wayyy to many times, lol. But if youâre taking smut requests, Iâd love to see more bimbo!reader and Hotch! I canât get enough.
Iâll take anything!! But more specifically, their first time, all of that built up tension (that you write so perfectly!) finally breaks!
Anyways, I never send in requests but I saw a window of opportunity and had to take it, haha.
Third Date Rule - A.H
summary: the third date proves to be worth the wait when you and hotch experience your first time together.
pairings: aaron hotchner x bimbo!assistant!reader
warnings: 18+ MDNI, sexy time, fingering, oral fem receiving, p in v, they did not in fact wrap it before tapping it and it's not really discussed so yeah idk about that one, aftercare
wc: 7.7k
This was so overdue.
Technically, it's only been three dates. Technically.
But if you count all the years you'd known him, the months spent daydreaming about this moment, the weeks of waiting while he played the world's longest game of restraint, then really, you should have had him naked ages ago.
And if Aaron (which still feels like a thrill to say â Aaron â because you're dating now and you can freely call him that) wasn't so stubborn and noble and insufferably gentlemanly, you would have.
But tonight was finally the night. The third date. The sacred, hallowed, much-debated, universally accepted gateway to getting into the sheets. And yes, okay, maybe you barely survived the wait without jumping his bones, but that's hardly relevant now. The point is, you did it.
And now you're in his lap, his tie wound tight around your fingers, his tongue deep in your mouth, and gods, if this night didn't end with him inside you, you might actually die.Â
Like, literally. Heart failure. Sudden death.
This was premeditated. At least, for you. You moisturized like your life depended on it, doused yourself in perfume that could be classified as a controlled substance, and selected a bra that made your tits look so insane, it might actually be illegal in some states.
And then you spent an embarrassing amount of time picking the perfect dress that says oh, I'm classy, but also please take me home and rip this off with your teeth.
You pull away, just enough to see him. To take in the slow bloom of pink trailing from his cheeks to the tips of his ears, the way his pupils are so wide theyâve all but erased the brown of his eyes. And his lips â swollen and red from kissing you â part like he was debating how bad it would be to drag you right back in. You wouldnât mind.
âAaron,â you sigh, fingers burying into his hair, marveling at how absurdly soft it is, how freely he lets you have this piece of him. âWe should go to bed.â
For a second, he locks up. Not hesitation but calibration, a body processing desire so sharp it might break him. You feel it in the way his chest expands, in the quiet exhale through his nose.
"This wasn't my plan for the night," he murmurs, voice softer now, not strained, but steeped in something much gentler. Something careful. "I wasn't â," He shakes his head, like the whole concept doesnât sit right in his mouth. "I don't want you to think this is just â,"
"Sex?"
You can see the way he wants to argue, like he wants to carve the word out of the air and replace it with something that means more.
"Yes."
You canât stop the stupid, lovestruck smile pulling at your lips. Maybe itâs the wine from dinner finally working its magic. (Itâs not.) Maybe itâs the way heâs looking at you, all serious and earnest, like youâre the only thing in existence, and if he blinks, you might vanish. (It definitely is.)
A laugh bubbles up, light and giddy, body not knowing what to do with all this adoration. You lean in, pressing a kiss to his jaw, just to see if heâll let you. (He does.)
âAre you serious? If you just wanted sex, you wouldnât have spent actual years pretending my very dedicated, very expertly executed attempts to seduce you werenât happening.â
His brow arches, but you see it for what it is â a stall. âExpertly, huh?â
"Remember that heatwave last summer? When I just had to eat a popsicle at my desk every afternoon?"
His eyes darken like the memory is playing in high definition behind his eyes.
"I remember."
"Do you?" Your fingers slip beneath his color. âBecause ââ You tilt your head. âI always seemed to finish them standing in front of your office â"
You don't even get to finish your sentence.Â
One second, youâre speaking, the next, youâre airborne. Lifted clean off the couch, legs locking around his waist automatically, arms thrown around his shoulders like you planned this all along.
You didnât, but you wish you had.Â
Not that it matters, because heâs already moving, already walking straight to the bedroom.
You bury your smile against his jaw, letting your breath tickle against the shell of his ear as another giggle slips out. It couldnât be helped.
"I really hope you know," you whisper, âthat I am, like, stupidly excited for this. Like, counting down the days excited.â
Aaron sets you down on the mattress gently, but his body doesnât follow right away, hovering over you.
"You're not making this easy for me."
You ignore him because youâre much more distracted by how insanely soft his sheets are. That was your first thought when your back hits the mattress, hair fanning across the pillows.
For a fleeting second, you wonder if heâll catch the scent of your perfume tomorrow. If heâll notice the ghost of you when he lays down alone.
Your second was that this is so not the time nor place to get emotional.Â
But this is his space. His bed. His room.
Itâs tidy, but somehow not sterile, everything having its place, but not afraid to be used. A book sits on the nightstand, a book mark sticking out mid-thought. A photo frame faces the bed, though from this angle you struggle to see whatâs inside.
Thereâs his suit jacket from yesterday, draped over the back of a chair, a little rumpled.Â
And maybe it's silly, but you feel weirdly honored to be here.
You should probably be processing this moment, what it means to be here, with him, like this. Instead, you take a second to admire the view.
The lamp softens the sharp lines of his face, making him look almost gentle â which is funny, considering how you hoped to be thoroughly destroyed by him.
Something expands inside you, stretching against the walls of your chest, something too big, something that terrifies you.
So you do what you do best. You deflect.
âI canât believe Iâm about to sleep with my boss.â
He doesnât even try to hide his exasperation, his forehead dropping into the crook of your neck. âSweetheartâ,â
"What?" You giggle, letting your fingers slide through his hair, letting your nails rake lightly over his scalp. "It's true."
His sigh is nothing short of pained, but then he kisses your cheek anyway, then your jaw, then the corner of your mouth. You were starting to feel like each was a thinly veiled attempt to tame you.
"Please don't phrase it like that."
"Yes, Mr. Hotchner."Â
Every self-satisfied thought evaporates the moment he kisses you â really kisses you.
Itâs not just a meeting of lips but a focused intensity, tongue sweeping inside your mouth and suddenly nothing before this mattered, because clearly, clearly, every kiss youâve ever had was just practice for this one.Â
Your body responds before your mind can catch up, spine arching and he doesnât stop you, just kisses you with a hunger that makes teasing obsolete, that makes breathing secondary to the way heâs taking from you, giving to you, all at once.
His lips wander, dragging across your jaw like heâs leaving invisible ink behind, pressing something permanent into your skin.
You hope youâll wake up tomorrow and still feel him there.
Your hands move to the nape of his neck, drawn by craving, by the need circling inside you like a ribbon of fire.
It stretches outward, licking at your skin, threading through your veins. His hands hold you still, spanning over your rib. His breath fans over your pulse, and you swear he can feel how fast itâs racing.
You should be gloating right now. This is, after all, exactly what you wanted, what you worked for. A biting remark sits on the top of your tongue, but then his mouth moves, and he finds it.
That wicked, traitorous little dip beneath your jaw that turns your entire brain into pink, glittering static. He pauses, listening, feeling, before sealing his mouth over it again, tongue dragging over the sensitive skin like heâs testing a theory that he already knows the answer to.
Your fingers clench in his hair, a startled sound choking in your throat before you can stop it. And then, the bastard laughs. Not sweet, not kind, but low and sharp and smug because he knows exactly what heâs done.Â
You had the upper hand. Past tense.
"There it is," he murmurs, pressing another kiss there, his tongue flattening over it just to make you squirm. "You want to know how I figured this out?"
You hum, or try to. But itâs pathetic because youâre barely conscious, every cell fried to uselessness by his mouth.
He mimics you, just to be an ass about it, mocking the dazed little sound like he hasnât just reduced you to it. "You always reached for it when I looked at you too long."
Your mouth opens. Closes.
"Or," he continues, "when I stood too close to you at the coffee machine. You'd fidget, tuck your hair behind your ear like you weren't thinking about it." His exhale burns against your pulse. "Cute."
You gasp, a little offended, mostly turned on. "Oh, wow. Profiling me? At work? That's, like, wildly unethical."
"Didn't need to," he murmurs. "You were practically begging me to figure you out."
His mouth is perfect in the way lightning is perfect â striking, searing, and completely out of your control. Itâs perfect enough that you can pretend not to hear him.
He sucks, slow and hard enough to tear a sound from your lips before you even know itâs there, something that feels like vulnerability in its purest form. Something you would never willingly give him.
His laugh is quiet, wrecking, as he pulls back, lips slick with your skin. "That good?"
His mouth makes quick work, over your collarbone, down, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses, down, branding every inch of skin he can reach.Â
He stops at the neckline of your dress, and suddenly, you can't think about anything except how it's still on.
You want to strip it off, want to offer yourself up as a willing sacrifice, but youâre well aware that if you try, if you even reach, heâll stop you. Or worse, he'll make you wait. He'll slow you down, draw it out just to watch you squirm because patience is his weapon of choice, because he lives for making you suffer.
His teeth graze the swell of your breast, just enough to sting, and whatever fragile grip you had on yourself disintegrates on impact. Your hands fumble blindly for his face, fingers shaking, needing to see his eyes.
"Please, Aaron.â Itâs an exhale, a prayer. âNeed you."
You see the ripple of tension along his throat. And for one tiny, blinding second you think this is when he finally snaps, abandons his tolerance and just takes you.
"You don't know how long I've wanted you like this," he rumbles. "I'm going to take my time."
You whine, frustration bleeding from your fingertips where they clutch his shoulders, fingers digging in like you can physically push him into moving faster.
He does not move faster.Â
His hands slide up to the straps of your dress, as he drags it down with all the urgency of a leisurely Sunday stroll.Â
Your mind is halfway through an exceptionally justified complaint about how slow he is moving when he folds the dress.
Folds it.
Sets it aside. Doesn't toss it.
And that may be the hottest thing he's ever done.
Because you know he knows. Heâs always known. Known that your things arenât just things â that your dresses, your heels, your overpriced lip glosses arenât frivolous, arenât some shallow indulgence, but tiny, curated pieces of you.
He has listened to you decide between two pairs of shoes that are, for all intent and purposes, identical. He knows jasmine is mysterious and vanilla is flirty, knows that youâll debate your right to own the same three shades of pink.Â
And instead of dismissing it, instead of rolling his eyes (though he does that too), he folds your dress. As if it matters.
You stare at him, somewhere between melting and spontaneous combustion, and he simply raises a brow. âSomething wrong?â
"No." You shake your head for emphasis, voice a little too weak to get the point across. "Just thinking I might have to marry you."
His hands settle at your waist, fingers tracing over the pink lace like heâs trying to process it, like if he touches it enough times, itâll confirm that this is actually happening and not some cruel illusion. His thumb brushes the scalloped edge, breathing shallow. You were pretty sure heâs currently having a full-scale existential meltdown over lingerie.
"Agreed," he murmurs, distracted, hooded eyes still glued to your chest. "I think the courthouse opens at eight."
Your giggle stutters, hiccups right out of you, because his hands are suddenly everywhere, roaming with no clear plan, just a man in crisis over how much of you he wants to touch first. His palms skate over your stomach, down your thighs, up over your breasts.
"So, this is all I had to do to convince you to do what I want?"
His mouth follows, retracting the path of his hands, rewriting, reworking, perfecting â because apparently, the first time wasnât good enough, wasnât thorough enough.Â
"You think this is what did it for me?" His voice is hushed. "You could've walked into my office six months ago and told me to get on one knee.â A kiss, open-mouthed, starving, just below your navel. âI would've done it."
Six months ago. You don't know if you believed that.
Except now you're spiraling, backtracking, rewinding, piecing together little details like some lovesick conspiracy theorist with red string and a bulletin board. Every interaction, every loaded glance, every time he let you get away with high-level flirtation without so much as a blink. You thought you were testing him, but what if he was never fighting at all?
And before you can even recover from that, before you can file an official grievance about why no one told you sooner, his hands squeeze at your thighs, his mouth so close to exactly where you need him, and his voice â
"You're so beautiful."
His nose presses into the damp center of your panties, and your hands fly to his hair so fast itâs practically reflex, breath stalling in your chest like your body forgot how to function for a second.Â
This is everything. What you've wanted, dreamed of, written in the margins of notebooks (hypothetically, of course).
It should be perfect, but suddenly, it isn't.
Uncertainty slips between the cracks, heat turning into something less solid. You donât have time to find it, to name it, because heâs already there, already sensing it, already fixing it before you even know whatâs wrong.
"Hey." His voice hooks into you, gently reeling you back from wherever your brain was about to go. "We don't have to do anything you're not ready for."
"No, Iâ," The words come out far too fast and desperate, and you can't decipher why it's so hard to say. "I do want to. Obviously." The nervous laugh that follows is definitely not your usual flirty confidence. "Have you met yourself? Because if you haven't, I would love to introduce you. Tall, devastatingly handsome â you'd love him."
His move curves, but his eyes stay patient and focused, giving you a second to breathe.
"It's just..." Another pause, another frustrated sigh. "I haven't been with anyone in a while."
"That's okay, we can take it slow." He moves so that he's hovering above you again, brushing a strand of hair out of your face, his smile just amused enough to leave you flustered. "How long?"
"May."
"May?"
"Yeah, like, May. Three years ago."
Aaron just stares at you, processing. You can see the gears turning, the little mental loading wheel spinning, his expression caught between stunned and deeply interested.
His fingers creep up, sliding under your ribs, just close enough to the heavy swell of your tits to remind you exactly where you are. What he was doing to you before you so rudely derailed this into actual conversation.
"Really?"
You pinch his arm. "Hey! That is not an absurd amount of time."
"No. I know. I didnât say that," he says quickly. "I'm just... surprised."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
His lips part and he immediately shakes his head, exhaling like he's physically trying to dispel what just ran through your mind, knowing exactly where your thoughts were.
"I just mean â I don't know how every man you meet doesn't immediately worship the ground you walk on."
"Oh, well, they do." You smile. "But I was only ever planning on letting one of them take me to bed."
You reach for his dress shirt buttons, tugging insistently, but your hands refuse to cooperate, not properly communicating with your brain.
It's his fault, you decide.
He looks too good, and it was extremely hard to focus on anything but that.
You have no idea how you survived dinner. Or the car ride home. Or even the eternity it took to get past the door, because that was definitely a struggle considering your mouth was all over his, tasting the whiskey heâd barely touched, before he could even get the key in the lock.
You spent all night picturing this, the way his hands would feel in you, the way his mouth would taste, the way his suit would look crumpled on the floor.
Which, in hindsight, probably meant you were a pretty terrible dinner guest. Nodding, smiling, pretending to listen, all while barely holding back the need to ride him in public.
Aaron laughs, clearly entertained by your struggle, and then, because heâs nothing if not arrogant, he starts undoing the buttons one-handed, to be a show-off.
Itâs rude, really. Because now all you can do is watch, helpless as he peels himself open to reveal golden skin, dark hair dusting over firm pecs, trailing lower, disappearing beneath his belt.Â
Your manicured fingers glide over the broad expanse of his shoulders, pushing his shirt away like uncovering some lost Renaissance painting that scholars would kill to get their hands on â something that should be in a temperature-controlled glass case, not just here, sprawled above you like he belongs to you. Which, he does, because heâs just letting you do this, letting you look. And you look. He is art. No, better than art. Art is stationary, lifeless, some brushstroke interpretation of what beauty should be. But this, him, he is warmth and breath and muscle.
Museums wish they had something this valuable. Theyâd burn down in despair if they knew he existed just for you.
"May," he muses, letting the word roll off his tongue, turning it over in his mind. "That's an oddly specific answer."
You make a vague sound of agreement, mostly just to acknowledge that yes, technically, he did say words, but youâre too busy to actually care. Too busy with spreading your hands over the planes of his chest, with grabbing at his belt.
"You were hired in May three years ago."
Your hands freeze.Â
"That's... um weird." A slow blink. "Weird that you know that. Weirder that you noticed."
You work his belt loose, tugging it free. Itâs meant to be a distraction, a well-placed touch to shift his focus from his revelation.
But then your plan backfires spectacularly because heâs hard, thick, unreasonably big and suddenly your fingers feel useless.
Aaron makes a sound â half a hiss, half a laugh â and his hands snap to your wrist, catching you before you can explore further, like he knew you were going to do that. "Itâs okay, honey."
"IâI don'tâ," You blink up at him, floundering, desperately trying to sound casual. "That's, uh, I don't know what that's supposed to mean."
Aaronâs smirk deepens, his grip on you slackening just enough to trick you into thinking heâs going to be nice.
But then his other hand moves, slipping between your bodies, sliding beneath the heat trapped between your thighs, finding the neediest part of you, and pressing.
Your whole body jerks, a startled gasp catching in your throat as sensation flares â hot, sharp, mercilessly good.
His fingers start to move, rubbing tight circles against you. Your hands cling, one locked onto his bare shoulders, the other pressing against his dick, desperate to make him feel even a fraction of what he's doing to you.
It earns you a groan, low and gritty, hips twitching against your palm, his breath is hot against your lips, his mouth hovering just barely out of reach.
"I won't tease," he promises, but the way he bites at your bottom lip feels like a lie. His tongue is quick to follow, flicking over the welt heâs just left, soothing the burn before sealing it with a kiss, just this side of messy. âThree years⊠thatâs a long time.â His lips skim yours again. âFor both of us.â
A pleased sound bubbles up from your throat, slipping between his lips, that makes it obnoxiously clear just how much you love those words. That is a sentence youâd like embroidered on a pillow. Maybe cross-stitched into a nice, elegant frame for your future shared bedroom.Â
"Oh," you sigh, a smile stretching against his lips. "I really, really, like knowing that. That's, like, incredible news."
Your brows scrunch, and you pull back just an inch.Â
"Just to be clear, though, you do mean in a wow, you've ruined me for other women way, and not in a I've been to busy for a sex life way, right? Because those are two different things, and I need to know which one we're working with hereâ"
Aaron huffs a laugh and instead of answering with words, his hands slip into your panties, fingers finding your clit without prelude. Skin to skin now, no fabric, no flimsy barrier. Just touch.
His fingers dip lower, dragging through the slick, indecent in how easily he moves through the mess of you. He makes a noise â nearly a groan, mostly a hum of appreciation, of possession â before he spreads it, smearing your own arousal over your clit, rolling circles.
"Oh, wow, sweetheart."
Your thighs fall open like you have no say in it â because you donât, because every instinct in you is reaching for him, needing it like a fix.
And maybe, maybe that should be embarrassing â the obvious, shameless way you seek him out â but itâs a gorgeous kind of humiliation, a flush that spreads lower.
"Well," you gasp, chest rising in stuttering little pants. "Yâyou kept me waiting forever."
Aaron hushes you with a soft tsk, his fingers pressing, stroking, coaxing you into sweet, mindless submission. Every movement feels preordained, like he already knows your body, like heâs a man whoâs spent years thinking about this.
"I know, sweetheart," he soothes, murmuring it against the fragile skin beneath your ear, punctuating it with a kiss. "But I think I'm making up for lost time pretty well."
"I guess," you manage. "Thâthat's acceptable."
Aaron chuckles, the vibration traveling straight into your skin. His lips descend, an idolization thing, but itâs the kind of devotion that sets you on fire.
His hands spread over your thighs, parting them gently.
Your underwear drags down, slipping over your thighs, grazing the curve of your knees, and then off. And suddenly, there's nothing separating you from his eyes, from the way the air licks over you, cool against the sticky heat between your thighs.
His lips part like he wasn't expecting to fall apart so easily. Like he thought he'd have more time, more control. And the power in it, the sheer, intoxicating power of knowing he's just as affected as you are, that this is breaking him open, makes your skin fizz, burn, ache for him even more.
If someone had told you a year ago that Aaron Hotchner, mister all-business-all-the-time, would be between your legs, staring at you like he's never seen anything more perfect, you would have said something nonsensical. Something about fate. Or destiny.
And you would have been right. Because you always knew this was a definite.
"Oh, honey.... You're gorgeous," It's almost a whisper, like the words were dragged out of him against his will, stolen straight from his lungs the second his eyes landed on you. His gaze drinks you in, head tilting, lips parting, tongue skating over the swell of his bottom lip. âI knew you would be, butâŠâ
A sharp, sizzling spark races up your spine, white-hot and unbearable, but when it should tip over into relief, it withers into frustration. The kind that makes your body revolt against the absence of touch. Your hips buck, thighs squeezing as if you can somehow force the friction youâre being deprived of.
"Give me a second, baby," he teases, caressing his nose along the inside of your thigh. "Just wanna look at you."
His mouth moves in decadent passes, open-mouthed kisses pressed into your inner thigh.
Another kiss. Then another. So close.
Then he detours. Veers off, pressing his lips into the dip of your hip instead, dragging his tongue along something that is not your clit.
"So perfect."
His fingers prod through your folds, parting you, fingertips wading through the slickness pooling at your entrance. The sound that spills from him is sinful.
All of your muscles coiling tight, every inch of you scorching with unmet need and just when you think you're going to have to beg him, just when the words start to form â
He gives in.Â
His tongue is there first, dragging a flat, broad stripe through your center, licking over every hypersensitive inch of you before looking up at you through hooded eyes. You swear you nearly come from the sight alone.
"Knew you'd be sweet."
Aaron doesn't waste another second, burying himself in you, mouth moving like he's been ravenous for this.Â
His grip is firm as he spreads you wider, keeping you at his mercy. His lips wrap around your clit for a split second before he moves again, tasing, licking, humming, lapping up everything you're giving him.
It's messy. Wet. Dripping. His mouth moves as he tries to wreck himself on you. Each second convincing you that he wouldnât mind suffocating here if it meant another taste.
His nose nudges against you, the angle so cruelly perfect it sends another violent tremor through your body, legs jumping against his shoulders. Your fingers grasp blindly for purchase, gripping the sheets, tangling in his hair, at anything you can reach.Â
"That's it, sweetheart," he murmurs into you, words muffled by your pussy. "Let me hear you."
"Oh â " The sound falls from your lips, your eyes squeezing shut like you can block out the overwhelming pleasure if you just try hard enough. "Oh, that's â "
Your hips stutter, thighs tightening around his face.
Aaron chuckles darkly, and you feel it more than you hear it, the sound pulsing through your core.
Youâre not sure you have a body anymore, not sure you exist outside of this moment. Youâre just sensation, just trembling atoms held together only by his hands, his breath, his voice. Thereâs no past or future â just now, just him.
If this is what it means to transcend, to be unraveled and rewritten in the same breath, then let it consume you whole. You could die like this, and it would be the kindest death you could ever ask for.
A single finger ghosts over your entrance, teasing but never quite committing. He dips in, just the barest of intrusion, and you shudder, clenching around nothing because itâs gone just as fast.Â
He waits, just long enough to hear the next breathy fussing before finally spearing back in. Your eyes flutter shut, breath breaking apart in little puffs.
The sounds coming from your cunt should embarrass you, sticky, so shockingly loud that if your brain was working, youâd be mortified. But itâs not working. Not even a little.Â
His hand flattens over your stomach and suddenly the pressure doubles, triples.
"Tell me, baby," he murmurs, "feels good, doesn't it?"
"Yes, yes, oh my gods, Aaron, Iâ"
Your normal senses have left the building. Packed its bags, hit the road, abandoned you to whatever dark magic this is. Because this âthis isnât how your body works. This isnât how guys work. You donât come from this.Â
But here you are, hurtling toward it at full speed and all because he decided you would.
Itâs happening too fast, the pressure stacking. Your thighs shake open, stomach clenching so hard it aches. Your mind is lagging behind, still reeling, still trying to rationalize but it doesnât matter because your body has already made its choice, has already given in, has already decided this is happening, whether youâre ready for it or not.
"Aaron, I thinkâ,"
Aaron just groans, finishing your sentence for you, lapping up your confession with his tongue,
"I know, baby." Hot air blows against your swollen clit. "Let me feel it."
It crashes over you, back bowing off the bed. Your body splinters apart, thighs trembling so hard you couldnât stop them if you tried. The edges of your vision smear into nothing as the pleasure consumes everything in its path.Â
His mouth stays on you, tongue and fingers pushing you through the aftershocks until youâre clawing at the sheets, until that pleasure tilts so far into oversensitivity that makes you unaware if youâre pulling him closer or pushing him away.
Your limbs feel like liquid, consolidating into every inch of your body, melting into the mattress as Aaron moves to be face to face with you.
He's looking at you like he's the only thing keeping you tethered to this planet, and maybe he is, because when his lips get close enough, you tug him the rest of the way down, crashing your mouth into his in a way that's all sloppy desperation.
You can taste yourself on him, can feel the way he groans into it when you sigh against his mouth, all soft and dreamy and drunk on gratification.Â
When you pull back, your fingers card through his hair, fixing nothing but feeling everything.
"Oh my gosh," you gasp, dissolving into giggles, toes curling as you flop back against the pillows. "I knew you'd be good at that, obviously, but I wasn't expecting all that. Like wow, you should get a certificate of excellence or something."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," you sigh dramatically, "Or like, a trophy, a raise, a sash that says best head giver in gold lettersâ,"
You pause for a breath, sucking in air like you just realized how winded you are.
When Aaron presses against you, you feel every inch of him. Thick and unfortunately still restrained. His slacks are a cruel barrier, the rough drag of the fabric catching your clit in a way that rips a whimper straight from your throat.
His teeth scrape along your jaw, then he's mouthing at your neck, sucking, teasing, marking you.
"Firstly," he murmurs. "I hate the idea of anyone else touching you."
An involuntary shiver rolls through you.
"And secondly," he continues, "the fact that they didn't even know how."
Your hands are frantic as they fly to his waistband, fumbling a bit, the last hindrance between you offensive in its existence.Â
"Well, yeah," you sigh, looking up at him through fluttering lashes, glossy lips parted just for him. "I mean, you're literally the only one who's ever known what to do with me. That has to mean something, right? Like, cosmic destiny or whatever."
Aaron shoves his pants and briefs off, barely sparing them a second thought, and then he's back, fitted between your thighs.
"You already know the answer to that." His lips brush your temple. "I'm the only one who knows how to handle you. And I plan on proving it."
"Yeah, okay," you say, squirming beneath him. "Not gonna argue when that sounds like the best idea ever."
You've seen a lot of versions of Aaron. You've seen work Aaron, serious and bossy, looking at crime scenes like he can hear the evidence whispering just to him. You've seen grumpy Aaron, glaring over his coffee when you talk too much at morning briefings (but you know he likes it, he just won't say). You've seen soft Aaron, the one who lets you steal his jacket even though you definitely don't need it.
But you've never seen this Aaron. This post-kissing-you Aaron. Lips slick, still damp with you, evidence of where heâs been, what heâs done.
His eyes flick to yours, and thereâs no shame, no rush to wipe it away. If anything, he tilts his head, letting you see it from a better angle.
"You're so handsome, Aaron." Your voice trembles. You don't even know if you said it out loud or just thought it so hard he must have heard it anyway.
"And you,â he murmurs, tracing his thumb over your cheek, âare so damn sweet, honey."
You beam at that, overwhelmed, so unbelievably happy that your thoughts are practically spilling out faster than you can catch them.
"Okay so I just need to say â this is so exciting, like, you do realize I've had a crush on you for years, right? And now this is actually happening, and that's just â wow."
You suck in a sharp breath, nails dragging over the thick muscles of his arms, across his shoulders.
"I mean, it's us, Aaron. Can you believe that? Like, I feel like this has been building for so long and now I'm just â gods, you're so hot, this is actually distracting me. I can't even finish my own thought â,"
You laugh, because you already feel so full of him and he isn't even inside you yet.
"And I know you're being all careful and slow because you're sweet and romantic and, like, the most perfect man alive, but also â,"
You grind up, chasing friction, his cock sliding just right over your clit. Your breath stutters, hands fisting at the nape of his neck as you try to remember what you were saying.
" â I'm literally at your mercy right now, so you should probably take advantage of that before I â,"
"You talk so much, baby."
And then he shuts you up. Hard.
His mouth rams into yours, ingesting the comment, the breath, everything.
He doesn't rush.Â
The head of his cock nudges at your entrance before he finally, slowly, pushes inside.
It knocks the breath from your lungs. Your mouth parts against his, lips catching on his as a little sigh slips out. Your nails dig into his shoulders, helpless against the way he's opening you up.Â
He stills, a sharp, fractured inhale slicing through the air, fingers digging into your hips â hard. He is struggling. You can feel it. The way his cock twitches inside you, like his body is screaming at him to move.
"I-I'm good." Your laugh wobbles, catches at the edges, barely disguising how badly you want him to believe you. "You can keep going."
"You're tensing because it's been a while." You don't mean to, but your body reacts before your brain can tell it not to, stiffening. Stupid, stupid. His exhale is shaky, and his lips press against your cheek. "I know that. I expected that."
You swallow, but it doesn't help.
"I also know that you think if I notice, I'll stop." His forehead rests against yours. "But I need you to hear me, baby. I'm not stopping."
His lips graze yours.
"I'm going to work you through this. Just let me in, princess."
And the second you do, the second you finally give in â
He groans, pushing deeper, stretching you completely, filling you to the hilt.Â
"There we go," he breathes, wrecked with praise. His hand presses to your lower belly, feeling how deep he is, how well you take him. "That's my good girl."
Your head tilts back, lips parting, body doing the melty thing that feels really, really nice but also really, really dangerous because you swear you're seconds away from levitating straight out of your own skin.
"Okay, so I did think this would feel good â," Your fingers twitch against his chest, nails raking lightly over sweat-damp skin as another sharp moan tumbles free. "â but, um, wow, this is like â this is so â,"
Your words taper off, get lost somewhere between your psyche and your mouth, because oh. Oh, wow. He's so deep, so heavy inside you, pressing into places you didn't even know existed.
"Go on, baby," he murmurs, a smirk plastered across handsome features as he dips his head. "You were saying?"
"You know," you gasp, words all flimsy and loose, like they've been shaken up inside you, "I kinda always wondered how big you were â"
Your breath hooks halfway through, hiccups on a moan, brain scrambling to keep up with your mouth, your mouth scrambling to keep up with â him.
"Not that I, um â I stared at your pants or anything â" Another sharp inhale, another desperate moan, your walls fluctuating and squeezing around something too thick. "I mean, I try not to because I'm a professional â"
An involuntary clench makes him curse, makes his fingers dip into your hips, makes his head plunge forward hard against your shoulder.
"Honey, shitâ,"
Your lashes flutter. "What?"
"Sweetheart, if you keep squeezing me like that while you ramble about my cock, I'm not going to last."
Your mouth clicks shut promptly.
"That's what I thought."
Hotch rocks his hips, just once, a sharp gasp fissuring from your lips like you weren't expecting it.Â
"Jesus, sweetheart. You're trembling." He cups your cheek, his thumb skimming over your bottom lip, eyes dark and aflame. "Does it feel that good?"
You nod, and he hums, dragging his cock almost all the way out before pushing back in.Â
His hand drags down your waist, spans over your belly, fingers pressing like he's charting the way he fits inside you.
"I used to tell myself I wouldn't do this," he admits. "That I wouldn't touch you. Wouldn't ruin you like this."
Your head lolls back, eyes fluttering, lips parted prettily, gasping as he rocks into you again, and again, and again. You shake your head, or at least, you think you do.
"You don't â" You try to shape words, but they liquefy on your tongue. "Don't ruin me, Aaron, you â oh, you make me â"
Hotch's throat bobs, his pupils blown.
"You make me so, so good, so soft, so perfect."
His hand cups your jaw. "You're already all of those things, sweetheart."
"Not before you," you sigh. "I've been waiting so long, Aaron, so, so long â"
"I know, baby," he groans. "I know."
His hand veers between your bodies, his fingers finding the swollen, neglected bundle of nerves.
âAaron â oh, wait, wait, wait â,â Your hands shoot up to his shoulders. âI donât know if I can, I mean, I can, but itâs just â,â
His cock throbs inside you, his rhythm stuttering for half a second before he finds it again, harder this time, his fingers matching the pace.
âToo much?â
âYes, no, kind of? I donât know, I canâtâ,â You choke on your own breath as another thrust knocks every last rumination from your head. âI canât think.â
âGood.â His forehead presses against yours, his lips parting against your mouth, panting, his control slipping. âI donât want you thinking. Just feel me, sweetheart. Feel what Iâm doing to you.â
Your body is shaking, shaking so hard that you donât even know if youâre moving or if heâs just pushing you through it.Â
âI know, baby. But you can take it, canât you?â
âY-Yeah,â you stutter, body twitching.Â
âThatâs my girl,â he praises, groaning as he grinds into you, stretching it. âOne more, honey. You can give me one more.â
It hits you slowly, unwinding through your organs like smelted honey.
âOh, oh â,â Your breath falters, mind going blank, the pleasure overwhelming every nerve in your body until you canât do anything but let it consume you.
âChrist,â he groans, feeling you clench around him so tight it nearly undoes him.
You barely register the way youâre gasping, twitching, babbling out breathless little moans, vision blurring, and for a second you think you might black out.
âThatâs it, princess,â he rasps, fucking you through it the reverberations. âSo, so good for me.â
His pace turns shallow, sharp, chasing the tight, perfect squeezing of you still thrashing around him.
âYouâre so tight, honey,â he grits, hands bruising your hips, your breath still catching from your own orgasm.
Youâre too gone to respond, too wrung out to do anything but whimper as he takes you, using your body to pull himself over the edge.
He groans, low and deep, his fingers tangling in your hair, his mouth ghosting over your cheek as he finally breaks.
A shudder, a muttered curse, his body jerking, hips slamming into yours as he spills inside you.
He doesnât mean to collapse, you know that, because even as his body gives out, his arms brace, still trying to be careful, even now. You want to cling to him, lock your legs around his waist, but you barely remember how to move, so you just let out a sleepy sound, nuzzling blindly at his throat.Â
He murmurs something low, something that sounds like praise, maybe worship.
His lips press to the side of your face, half-gone and still recovering, and then his muscles tense, trying to lift himself off you.
Your arms wind around his neck before he can get too far.Â
âSweetheart,â he rasps, âIâm crushing you.â
âDonât care,â you mumble, voice a little hoarse. âFeels nice.â
âYou did so good.â
When he finally pulls out, you feel the loss and everything that comes with it, his release sticky and warm beneath your thighs.Â
Aaron disappears into the bathroom, and you barely have time to miss him before heâs back with a warm cloth in hand.
You giggle, squirming before he even touches you, already restless, and the second he presses the cloth to your inner thighs, you jerk, laughing helplessly.
âOh, wait â,â
Aaron sighs, one hand pressing against your hip to keep you still. âSweetheart. You have to let me clean you upâ
âBut it ticklesâ,â
He smirks and continues his work. âHow do you feel?â
âLike I saw god actually,â you ramble, kicking your feet against the sheets. âOr, like, like, if I had to describe it, Iâd say I transcended reality for a little bit â,â
Aaron just chuckles, pressing a kiss to your knee as he finishes cleaning you up. Each swipe reminds you that your legs might not be on speaking terms with you tomorrow.
When heâs done his mouth finds yours again. Itâs easy to kiss him. If it were physically possible to stay attached to him, twenty-four hours a day, youâd gladly test the theory.
âWorth the wait,â he breathes into your mouth.
âWell, yeah,â you murmur, smirking up at him. âI figured it would be for you.â
He laughs.
âYeah, baby, you were good,â he mutters, kissing right over your stuttering pulse. âYou were so good.â Another kiss. âSo good Iâm already thinking about the next time.â
Your heart hasnât even slowed down, and youâre already thinking about the next time. Already plotting, already ready to drag him back down and see just how quickly that next time could turn into right now. But before you can so much as tug at him â Aaron is rolling out of bed, pulling on his pants, disappearing into the kitchen.
You mean to protest, to demand why he left you alone in a post-bliss haze, but then heâs back, pressing a glass of water into your hand, watching you drink it like itâs his personal responsibility.
Then comes food, something light and something he feeds you between kisses, between lazy murmurs about nothing.Â
At some point, the blankets are back over you, his lips pressing against your forehead, his voice saying something about getting some sleep before you got any ideas, before pulling you against him.
You hum, content and drowsy, shifting a little, rolling over to get more comfortable â
And then your eyes land on that photo frame from earlier. You had a clear view of it now.
It was you.
It takes you a second to place it, but once you do, you almost laugh. You know this photo â because Garcia took it. She printed it out months ago, probably as some ridiculous gag, and stuck it to Aaronâs office wall with a bright sticky note that read your favorite obviously. Youâd rolled your eyes at the time, called it workplace favoritism, but heâd never taken it down.Â
And now, somehow, itâs framed. On his nightstand, like heâs been looking at you every night for â
You donât finish the thought.
Instead, you just smile, huge and uncontrollable.
He doesnât say anything.
And you donât need him to.
Because you already know.
đ masterlist
taglist has been disbanned! if you want to get updates about my writings follow and turn notifications on for my account strictly for reblogging my works! @mariasreblogs
wait, hold up, gimme a second bc why am i crying?? everything here is incredible, but thatâs no surprise bc maria eats every time she posts anything. like, the smut is delectable and i want it rn, and hotchâs characterisation is always fucking perfect,, but likeâŠ
sensing the moment sheâs getting a little overwhelmed and knowing what she needs in that moment? folding her DRESS because he understands how much she values her belongings that shape her image?? continuing to praise her and call her beautiful throughout bc he knows how much that means to her??? KNOWING HER SOFT SPOT AND EXACTLY HOW TO MAKE HER FALL APART EVEN THO THEY HAVENâT HOOKED UP BEFORE????
and then⊠HAVING A PHOTO OF HER ON HIS FUCKING BEDSIDE TABLE SO SHES THE FIRST THING HE SEES IN THE MORNING AND LAST THING HE SEES BEFORE HE GOES TO SLEEP AT NIGHT??????????
i can die rn. honestly, bc how dare this be fiction and not reality rn. all my life issues would be solved by this man lying on top of me and squishing me into a mattress. every story w this reader characterâevery story maria writes, point blank periodâis *rossi chefâs kiss* perfecto.
tldr: to be loved is to be known, and if bau unit chief ssa aaron âprofilerâ hotchner knows ANYTHING, itâs how to read his pretty receptionist like a frickin BOOK
Like I have such a deeply ingrained need to be extremely defiant and hard to handle around this Spencer I want to bite his shoulder too hard he gets lowkey mad