A straight woman sees a lesbian making positivity posts for lesbians. She feels insecure because she's not included, so she asks the lesbian if it's okay to be a straight woman. The lesbian would probably get frustrated by this. She might even roll her eyes, or playfully tell her no, it's not okay to be straight. Even though they are both women, it's easy to understand why this interaction was not misogynistic.
A disabled white man sees a disabled black man making positivity posts for disabled black people. He feels insecure because he's not included, so he asks the disabled black man if it's okay to be a disabled white man. The black man would probably get frustrated by this. He might even roll his eyes or playfully tell him no, it's not okay to be white. Even though they are both disabled, it's easy to understand why this interaction was not ableist.
A trans man sees a trans woman making positivity posts for trans women. He feels insecure because he's not included, so he asks the trans woman if it's okay to be a trans man. She gets frustrated. She probably rolls her eyes. She playfully tells him no, it's not okay to be a man. It should be easy to see why there's no issue with this interaction.
But everyone rips her to shreds and tells her she's transphobic anyway.
