Jonatello spicy fic- "Wait, you don't have a D!ck?"
https://archiveofourown.org/works/85283381
The problem wasn't his boyfriend, not at all. The 8 months that he had spent with Casey Jones have been the best months of his life. Even if he is sometimes an annoying asshole, or steals his hoodies, or pissed off Leo. The human was an absolute idiot, but he was a good boyfriend.
The issue was himself. More specifically, the issue was the fact that he had been lying to Casey's face for the past 8 months.
He didn't mean to, at the start. It had been so many years since he seriously thought about being transgender. His family accepted him after a few months of argument, but sometimes it was better to let the skeletons stay in the closet. The less it was mentioned, the less everyone was weird around him.
He doenst even know if he qualifies as transgender at all. He was raised male by accident for his entire childhood. He got a boyhood. Racing along the sewers, getting dirty in his lab and getting the 'boys will be boys' treatment from his father.
They found out he was biologically female during a training accident, before Leo knew what he was doing with his swords. His blade nicked high up on his thigh right beside his modesty piece. Master Splinter had to get close to check the injury, and it went from there.
For the first few months of dating Casey, it never occurred to him that this would be something he needed to mention. He didn't exactly have any examples of how being transgender would change a relationship, after all. He wasn't in any queer spaces, online or offline.
Then, he and Casey's relationship started to get... intimate. They reached the phase where making out, making intimate jokes and talking about intimate desires were acceptable. It awkward at first, but eventually they felt comfortable talking about each others bodies.
But... they talked about dicks. At first he would find himself mentioning his own 'cock' out of a habit. When his brother's jokes about jerking off, he always reacted like he had his own. Even the thought of mentioning his own parts felt to vulgar around them, as if a penis were more acceptable to have.
He didn't realize he was accidentally lying until this had been going on for 3 weeks.
Donnie tried to correct his mistakes, use the correct terms. He made a comment, one implication about being "wet". Casey got really, really confused. That was the second that Donatello realized he was in too deep.
Still, he never actually told his boyfriend the truth. In the 8 months they had dated, he hadn't even tried. The dating pool for mutants consisted of exactly two people, and one of them was definitely wasn't interested.
Now, here they are. They both wanted to be intimate tonight, and had already agreed upon it. It was a decision they both made during a steamy phone call, a few nights ago. The acceptance came out of his mouth before the logical part of his brain could stop it.
He finds himself preparing to have sex with someone who thinks he has a cock.
He is so, epically fucked.
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Casey is absolutely, without a doubt, screwed.
He has been actively lying for the past 8 months, to the only person he's ever actually wanted to be in a relationship with.
Every time he brings up being horny, or his genitals, he speaks like he's a biological male. He doesn't remember why he started doing that, but by the time he realized it wasn't a good idea he was in too deep.
He didn't mean to hide it, at least not at first. He just.. didn't trust Donnie yet. After years of fighting over April and not getting along the best, he needed time. The window where telling him would have been appropriate came, and then went. Now he was stuck.
If he tells Donatello, then his boyfriend would almost assuredly want to break up with him. The keyword there is want, because he knows that his boyfriend doesn't have the heart to actually go through with anything. If they two of them weren't interested in each other, the mutant would have zero options for partners. Not metaphorically, literally.
He's not worried about Donnie not being attracted to female genitalia, he's worried about Donnie not being attracted to a boy with them. It's one thing to like both genders, it's another to find a transgender attractive. Especially a transgender who lied about having them.
He doesn't even wanna think about what Donnie would do when he finds out. He will find out, and if Casey has any sense of morality left in him, he will find out soon.
When he joined the team, it had only been 5 months since coming out to his father. He thanks whatever sort of god is up there that April was too much of a high school loser to know the gossip about who the "Tranny kid" was. By the time they were friends, Casey was passing and none of the teachers called him by his deadname. So he's never needed to worry about being accidentally outed.
Because of that, not a single soul on the team knows he used to be a girl. He suddenly wishes he weren't so secretive about it at the beginning of their friendship. This whole situation could have been taken care of before it became an issue.
For now, he pulls his hood above his head and heads into the sexual health aisle. They can't stop him from purchasing because of his age, but it would be mightily embarassing if anyone he knew saw him.
He grabs the normal medium condoms. The chance that they actually get to any sort of sex is pretty low, considering Donnie will probably yell at him and kick him out.
It would be deserved, in all honesty. He would be upset if he was Donatello.
He gets the condoms anyway, plus some lube.
-------------------------------------------
Donnie paced between the walls of his bedroom in a feverish daze. His boyfriend is arriving any minute now, if his tracker was accurate when he checked it earlier.
He has prepped himself in every way he can think of, yet it still doesn't feel like enough was done. He showered an hour ago to get any training sweat off. Turtles don't have anything to shave, so the only extra thing he had to do was put a light layer of coconut oil onto his plastron and shell. It had finished absorbing 20 minutes ago despite the phantom sticky feeling he's making up to himself.
The bedroom has been cleaned up, not that it was ever untidy. The spare machine parts were put up on high shelves to keep them away from the curious hands of an idiot. The area rug in the center of his room was vacuumed; and the lights were dimmed and tinted to a pretty purplish color. The normal lights are on, just for now.
He had even gotten the bed itself ready for sex! The bed had two dark towels laid down on it to cover most of the surface. The pillows were left uncovered, but sex probably wouldn't be happening on the pillows.
He even gathered supplies for aftercare! Two water bottles, two unopened bags of chips (each of their favorites) and some baby wipes sat on his nightstand.
As for his family, he is decently positive it will not be an issue. Raphael had been stolen by Mona for the weekend on a trip back to visit her home planet. Leo was out of the house for the weekend. (He said it was for a solo, but they have been finding a suspicious amount of white fur on him recently). Mikey was home, but was bribed to leave them alone.
He hasn't really come up with a plan besides: Come clean, apologize, hope he isn't dumped. The room probably shouldn't have been prepared for sex, nor should he have gotten his hopes up.
He can feel the moisture building up below his shell as he paces, and attempts to ignore it. Despite the situation, he can feel the slick with every step that reminds him of his hope for the night.
Right as he's considering once again heading to the bathroom to wipe off the excess fluids, there's a knock on his bedroom.
He straights himself up one last time and looks down to check. He's clean, not sticky and presentable. Despite being nearly nude, his shell covers his wetting sex. This is the best he can do.
He opens up the door and looks up slightly to meet his partners eyes. He's dressed for comfort, or maybe the theme of the outfit was easy removal. He has baggy black pants on that could easily be either thin sweats or PJ pants, and a cute oversized shirt.
There's a CVS bag in his hand and an overnight bag over his shoulder. His mind races with what could be in that CVS bag. He knows for a fact that he has protection (they both agreed not to do anything without it), but everything besides from that is a guess.
Wordlessly and awe-stricken, the mutant boy steps aside and lets his lover in. Casey takes a seat on the bed, CVS bag placed squarely in his lap. Donnie shuts the door quietly, then secures the lock on it. The bedrooms are all soundproofed, but for safety the doors aren't. As long as no one is actually screaming, Mikey won't be able to hear them.
He can feel his heart rate pick up for a multitude of reasons. Casey is in his bedroom, prepared and ready for intercourse. Donnie finds himself wondering if his boyfriend is hiding an erection in his waistband.
He shakes his head to force the vulgar imagery out. He needs to focus on confessing his lies to Casey. If he doesn't run out yelling, THEN he can worry about dick.
He takes a big inhale of breath with his eyes shut; just like meditation. He can do this calmly, he knows he can. "Casey, there is something I need to-"
"Wait," the black haired boy cuts off, "I uh...have something that's like, really important to say first." His head is looking down at the ground. His legs are man-spreading, and an elbow rests on each knee. His shaggy mullet covers his face.
The ninja knows that his proclamation is probably more life-altering for them both, but he submits. With a shy hum of approval, his partner starts speaking.
"I'm a transgender!," Casey gushes suddenly. His voice was high and rushed in a way that makes his heart sink. The boy seems embarrassed about saying it, if anything.
Donatello can't bring himself to look at Casey Jones.
Is this some sort of sick joke? Did he finds out that his boyfriend lied about being trans, and now he's turning into a prank to break his heart? Casey could be petty, but he didn't know that he was that cruel. Had one of his brothers gotten to him before he could? Was it fucking Raphael?
There's also the chance that Casey is actually just wants to transition to female. Which would be fine by Donnie! Honestly, he'd be happy with Casey as a boyfriend or a girlfriend.
"Are you serious?" Is the only reply the flustered ninja can muster. It comes out harsher than exspected or wanted, but he can't exactly take it back. If this was a prank, it was a fucked up one.
"Yea." He starts sharply "I'msorryIliedthatwasreallyfuckedupI'msosorry." It all comes out as a garbled sort of word-like mush, but his lover understands most of it on account of being Michelangelo's brother.
The turtle takes pause and steps back. He will admit that he isn't exactly in human queer spaces, even online. Maybe he missed some sort of sign?
It's really hide to hide that he himself is transgender. There is very little difference between male and female turtles, and the mutation helped cover it up even more. Besides from small things like this height and the reddish tint to his eyes, the only real signal is what sits between his legs.
But Casey? How has he been hiding it? Does he bind DURING PATROL? There is absolutely no way that is good for him. The duration of sometimes 6 hour long physical activity would definitely leave some damage, and that's if he's not constricting during school hours.
His boyfriend does all of that without any support? At least not anyone on the team, unless April knows.
Did he really not trust Donnie enough to not tell him? He might be a hypocrite for thinking this, but how could their relationship trust be so minuscule so far into their love.
His eyes meet deeper brown again, scared and quiet on both ends of the rope.
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Casey can feel his heart rate quicken with every minute that passes in silence. His boyfriend has been spaced out and starring at the floor for almost three minutes by now.
Oh, he's getting broken up with for sure. If this is gonna happen, he might as well try to knock his boyfriend❌ out of it. "Dee-"
"I'm also FTM." The mutant says plainly, like it was a basic fact. "I forgot to tell you and by the time I did it was too late?" There is an awkward chuckle at the back of the taller boys throat, it sounds almost guilty.
"You're joking," the vigilante says. There is absolutely no way, none at all.
Donatello looks shocked for a second, then smiles. The cunning, sly smile of someone who lured someone else into a trap. "Want proof?"
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