kiwi nathan after dark rbing a buncha BULLLSHITT!!

rb dumping ground for funny posts on tumblr dot com. occasional not funny posts. occasional fandom spam when i’m too embarrassed to annoy main. will contain untagged sex jokes and generally crass humor

[kiwisnotgay]

if youre reading this congrats. youve found my sideblog. dont tell anyone tho

(i am an adult to make it clear)

edit: how are you random people finding me. i mean im glad to be a curator of funny posts but how

[sabertoothwalrus]

asexuals I love you very much but sometimes you will get hangups about very funny things. I made a "fuck marry kill" poll and dozens of people are asking how they're supposed to vote because they don't want to fuck anyone and are asking for alternatives for that category like playing video games or drinking tea instead. but killing is totally fine

[sabertoothwalrus]

I love you.

keeping it basic but fuck marry kill traffic signals 🚦

fuck green marry yellow kill red

fuck green marry red kill yellow

fuck yellow marry green kill red

fuck yellow marry red kill green

fuck red marry green kill yellow

fuck red marry yellow kill green

Voting ended onAug 9

[i-like-orange-juice]

[sabertoothwalrus]

asexuals I love you very much but sometimes you will get hangups about very funny things. I made a "fuck marry kill" poll and dozens of people are asking how they're supposed to vote because they don't want to fuck anyone and are asking for alternatives for that category like playing video games or drinking tea instead. but killing is totally fine

[sabertoothwalrus]

I love you.

keeping it basic but fuck marry kill traffic signals 🚦

fuck green marry yellow kill red

fuck green marry red kill yellow

fuck yellow marry green kill red

fuck yellow marry red kill green

fuck red marry green kill yellow

fuck red marry yellow kill green

Voting ended onAug 9

[i-like-orange-juice]

[cowboy-garfield]

Everybody go tf home I have officially found a worse name for eyes than ‘orbs’

[pancakeke]

can’t believe I had to read this with my own balls

[verminfang]

Thinking about a vampire dude bro who won't drink girl blood- because he's afraid it will estroginise him soy products style- getting trapped in a mental cage when he learns vampire dude who only bites other dudes reads as gay

[sanlorenzoherald]

good morning

[sztupy]

[thatlittleegyptologist]

You’ll need the link!

Who wants to help Cards Against Humanity f*** with Elon Musk?

We got Musk off our land. Let's build a monument to remind him he's a sad little b**** with no friends.

[ashleeabutton]

Not all heroes wear capes, sometimes they publish questionable card games

[talkgentlytome]

Tag yourself I’m the “Overdressed and Underappreciated”. Artist : http://www.mattadrian.com/ 

[vvillowenna]

If you thought “hm those styles of art AND speech seem very familiar,” you are right because it is the same person that did these

[the-husbando]

Oh my god damn

[fangshazzard]

I bet raising your arm and summoning a weapon for you to grasp feels good as fuck

[fial-inka]

the signal catcher 📡

[vintricles]

free my girl she did all that and that’s what makes her such a compellingly complex character. that’s her essence

[prokopetz]

Worldbuilding exercise #137: imagining how answers regarding mildly obscure trivia about your setting's culture, geopolitics, and history would be phrased on a hypothetical episode of Celebrity Jeopardy (which for the purpose of this exercise exists in that world in precisely the same form as it does in ours).

[cappadocius]

[nae-nae-supreme]

Lowkey me if I was a cobra

[hotvampireadjacent]

Um

[queer-here-and-in-fear]

shorthands for dumbassery that i have grown to love deeply

"how dare you say we piss on the poor" in response to someone misinterpreting your post

"_ isnt gonna fuck you" for suck up behavior

"woah. should we tell everyone? should we throw a party?" for who the fuck cares

"and what if the world was made of pudding" for when would this ever matter.

"and sharks are smooth both ways" for a group of people heatedly arguing with 1 guy who is fucking with them all

".. but its about a witch in the alps finding her lost cat" for someone trying to sanitize something to the point of absurdity

[queer-here-and-in-fear]

this is prime proof that this ENTIRE WEBSITE is autistic because nowhere else would a no tags post that's just an informative list about slang get this much traction.

[queer-here-and-in-fear]

anyway more addittions

“30-50 wild hogs” for someone making ABSURD excuses for violence.

“what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament” for how do you know that without being a part of it.

“anyone in this thread smoke weed” for the shit you people are saying is so off topic this might as well be a general discussion forum

“dogs are boys and cats are girls” for ooh ur mindset did not grow past 4th grade, huh

“color theory in a childrens hospital” for bending over backwards to not agree that YEA, that thing Came Off Weird

“you are a tar pit” for someone finding any reason to respond with outrage.

“is the __ in the room with us right now?” for I Don’t Think That’s Real.

“bean soup? im allergic to beans!” for ik this doesn’t work for you, but that’s not a flaw. not everything can be for you.

“people irl: hey man hows it going” for this will Never Matter irl

[parkchanwoohoo]

My supervisor keeps cutting off my sentences and while I could respectfully ask him to stop interrupting me during meetings, I hate him and his stupid misshapen head and my new tactic is to let him finish his sentence and then restart my sentence from the very beginning and keep doing that again and again until I get to the end of my sentence. This is not a mature or professional way to conduct oneself in a workplace but it is: Deeply Fucking Funny because he gets so impatient so fast

[parkchanwoohoo]

I'm not kidding like you can see him grit his teeth and you see this muscle twitch in his jaw and it is hysterical. He's so angry he wants me dead but strangling me at work would be way less professional than whatever juvenile bullshit I'm doing

[parkchanwoohoo]

I maintain this could be vaguely sexually interesting if he were hot but he isn't. I'm suffering worse than Christ over here

[loveridden1999]

having a hometown is such a fucked up concept. i grew up here so i do not want to stay here anymore. i miss it when i am away but once i am back i realise why i wanted to go away as far as possible from it. i am familiar with every corner of this place i did not realise when it slowly changed into something unrecognisable. i would probably like to be buried here but i'd rather die than live here

[fanonical]

back in my day if you wanted to make minecraft edgy you'd put some redstone down and pretend it's blood, and that was it. that was all you could do