drops of rain

selective pop culture enthusiast who writes, sometimes. writing // index // loki sideblog // ko-fi

[kjhmyg]

rough edges pt. 20 (final): the epilogue (m) pairing: jungkook | reader genre: college!au, fluff, slight angst word count: 45k warnings: mentions of death, drug use, unprotected sex.  summary: when you uncover your boyfriend's private life, a deep dive into it sucks you in as you try to help save him from himself. a/n: the final chapter. thank you all so much for going through this journey with me. i'm so happy to have been able to share this story with you. i love you all <3 ♪ please listen to warm - ariana grande 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 6.5 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13 / 14 / 15 / 16 / 17 / 18 / 19 | masterlist

RE asks tag / pinterest board

Hi baby,

Something cool happened the other day. I was walking home from work and a puppy appeared out of nowhere and started following me. Short legs, big eyes, floppy ears, tiny bark; just like you. Hah, kidding. But it was cute. Wanted to keep him but you-know-who said no. Turns out he belongs to this nice old man who runs a restaurant nearby. Apparently the little booger ran out when a customer left the door open, and their grandchildren spent all afternoon looking for him. They were so nice. The owner gave me dinner on the house. And then he said I could come over anytime to play with him (with the puppies, not the old man). I haven’t been back yet but maybe I’ll swing by next week and try to snap a pic for you. Anyways, it’s starting to get cold here. Even after years, I can’t get used to how cold it gets, worse than back home. I miss it there. I know I say this every time, but I mean it. I miss the bumpy roads, old diners, unpredictable weather, I miss my bike. I miss school. I miss having a life. And I miss you. I wonder if things will be the same when I come back. Been thinking about that a lot lately. Sounds silly but I’m kind of worried. And I know you said nothing’s going to change. But it’s been almost five years. Surely, some things are gonna be different right? Or maybe I’m just overthinking things. I hope you’re eating well, and I hope work is good. Hope everyone else is doing well too, please tell them I said hi. Remember to stay warm, you always catch a cold around this time of year. There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t think about you. Please wait for me. I miss you and I love you. Love, JK.

⎼

“You really didn’t have to,” you cautiously hold a box of brand new headphones in your hands, eyeing it hesitantly, before pushing it back to Hoseok. “It’s okay. I don’t⎼” “Just take the headphones y/n.” He laughs. Your old pair had seen its last day two weeks ago, having held on for dear life for the last year. Refusing to buy a new one till it's unusable, despite how terribly tattered it already was, you insisted it was because you didn’t want to be wasteful. But in reality, you just couldn’t justify spending a ridiculous amount on headphones. Of course, Hoseok had been there to watch the disappointment on your face when you finally accepted it was time to let your old pair go. Smiling in resignation, knowing it would magically end up at your doorstep if you refused, you bashfully accept it. “Thanks. But at least let me buy you dinner.” “Nope.” “Oh…” You take a step back, running your eyes up and down his frame. “Can’t spare one night for dinner with your best friend? Mr. creative director?” “Will you shut up?” Hand over your mouth, you gasp. “How rude. Fame changed you.” He tugs on your ear, only letting go after you apologise profusely, wincing in pain and rubbing the sore spot. “Someone’s in a good mood.” His elbow nudges your side as you go down the street. “Got an update from Jungkook?” Hoseok regrets it immediately. The drop in your expression gives it away, you could never hide your feelings when it came to Jungkook. Some time back, you confessed to how the gap between the letters was getting longer. Something you thought was due to his handlers holding them back, perhaps because they contained sensitive information. But the fact that you did eventually get a response only months later, made you realise it might be something else. “Actually um,” head downcast, staring at the box in your hands, eyes glazed over the words, “it’s been four months.” That was the last time Jungkook had sent you a letter. 

When he left four years ago, there was an agreement allowing Jungkook and you to write to each other. Everything would have to go through strict vetting by a handler of course, and no personal information to be included in them, anything that could possibly put Jungkook (and you) at risk. So they consisted mostly of casual updates. Though you weren’t able to get into detail about a lot of things, like your job or your new apartment, being able to keep in contact with him was good enough. The letters were constant initially. You never failed to respond, and neither did he. Taking about two weeks after vetting for the letters to reach both ways, it started off as at least a letter monthly for the first three years. But eventually, dialing it down to every couple of months. It was fairly difficult with the restrictions, a couple of times yours had returned with a note to remove certain information. But still, it was enough to know he was still there, thinking of you. 

It was only during the fourth year that things started to change. The first time Jungkook’s letter took months to get to you, you blamed it on the system; his handler must have blocked it for some reason. The next time it happened, you thought it was weird he never mentioned anything about it in his letters. After the third letter, in a span of nine months, you realised maybe it was him. It would take months to get a reply to your letters, only for him to disappear again. This time, it’s the longest you’ve gone without receiving a reply. 

For safety reasons, you don’t have access to his handler. Your letters would go through one of Seokjin’s men. And ever since Namjoon got promoted to a different city, spearheading another assignment there, he’s no longer the primary authority you can contact, leaving you no options. 

“Hasn’t the handler mentioned anything?” Hoseok walks with his arm around your shoulder. 

Over the years, you’ve gotten closer, and his feelings for you have dwindled in that time as he finally came to accept that you would always belong to Jungkook. Now, he’s more like an older brother and one of your best friends. 

“No, nothing.” 

“Maybe he’s busy. Or maybe the post⎼” 

With a shake of your head, he pauses. “You don’t have to make excuses for him, you know?”

“I’m just trying to make you feel better.” “You don’t have to do that either. I’ll be fine.” A bold lie, having spent countless nights crying every time you think about him when you’re home alone. “Well, this is you.” Nodding towards the building where Hoseok works, the weight lifts off your shoulder as he faces you. “Thanks for lunch. Heading home?” You shake your head. “I’m gonna get some stuff before that.” “Alright then.” With a hand on the door handle, he extends an arm to let you lean into a hug. “Don’t stress yourself out. We’ll talk again soon.” “Sure.” “Oh, and enjoy your headphones.” Grinning, you wave a goodbye and thank him again for the gift as you carry on down the street. Your mind drifts off to the list of items you need, only half paying attention to the things going on around you. 

The streets have changed a little, something you were hesitant to tell Jungkook after his last letter. Passing by a newsstand, the front cover of today’s paper catches your eye, half of its print consisting of a picture of the mayor getting out on bail, escorted out of a building by uniformed officers. 

After the fiasco four years ago, the uncovering of Kim’s drug syndicate and Barome’s trafficking business was just the beginning of a major crackdown on corrupt officials, who were identified during

the investigation. A major uproar ensued over the breach of trust from these officials, triggering calls for their immediate resignation and arrest, the most recent being the mayor.

“Interesting stuff,” the man leaning against the counter comments. Looking up, you smile, handing him the money. “Very interesting.” Opening his palm for you to drop the amount, he tilts his head with a gleam in his eyes, “You know what I’ve realised? You only ever get the paper when something like that’s on the front page. Are you some sort of investigative journalist? Lawyer? Detective? Undercover agent?” Laughing as you tuck the paper under your arm, you shake your head. “Me? An undercover agent?” “It’s always the unlikeliest ones.” He shrugs. “Although you do look like someone who’d do it for the thrill.” “Now that’s interesting.” You give him an amused smile as you start to walk away. “I guess I just like reading about it.” He grins, “As long as you keep coming back, no complaints here.” Raising your brows at his implication, you give a polite smile and nod as you take your leave. Following the case since the start of the trial three and a half years ago, it’s now become a part of your daily routine; reading up on the latest updates, listening to podcasts, and even going through the discussions on reddit. This newsstand just so happens to be on your way most days, and you never thought anyone would pick up on your buying habit. You can only imagine what Namjoon would say if he knew about this.

⎼

Being back at your old apartment, which Hana now shares with Jimin, always makes you feel like a child at a sleepover. Two years ago, you made the adult decision to move out after saving up enough for a new place (with a little investment from your dad). A tiny new place. Besides, Jimin was hunting for a roommate at the same time, and you moving out was perfect timing. “How was the proposal you did?” Hana’s question lingers. Attention on the utensils while your mind drifts off elsewhere, you don’t even notice Hana approaching. A bowl of steaming, hot pasta appears in the middle of the table, and you’re still miles away. She nudges you gently, bringing you back. “Hm?” “I asked you about the proposal?” Hana rests her head in the palm of your hands. “What’s up with you?” “Oh,” you shake yourself out of it, “it went great, they said it was a good idea. Definitely feasible but needs more planning. So I volunteered to see it through.” “And so why are you so distracted?” “I’m not.” You say, grabbing for the tongs and her plate. “Just a little tired.”

“We’ve been friends for a decade. You think I can’t tell when something’s bothering you?” Hana takes the plate from you. “And you think I don’t know this is about Jungkook?” 

Your brows knit together. “Did Hoseok tell you?”

“No,” she straightens up with a look of betrayal, “but he knows and I don’t?” Utensils clanking against the plates, your shoulders slump when she starts to pout. “Alright, alright. It is about Jungkook. I haven’t been receiving his letters like before.” “Oh,” Hana pauses, “how long has it been?” “Four months.” Turning her attention to the food, you ignore the uncertainty on her face, humming as you bring the first mouthful of her cooking into your mouth, a burst of flavour on your tastebuds. Honestly, you would’ve told her sooner, but each time you tried, a flicker of hope flashes by, wondering if the next day would be the day a courier comes by with your registered mail. But soon the days turned to weeks, and weeks turned to months. “Four months…” She echoes, prodding at her food. “Did you guys fight?” “Over mail?” Shrugging, she tries to come up with possible reasons why Jungkook would stop writing. “Everything was fine…” you take a sip of water, “the only thing I can think of is how anxious he was.”

“Anxious?” Nodding, you twirl the pasta around your fork, pausing just before taking the bite. “He was worried about how different everything’s gonna be.” Leaning back on her chair, Hana crosses her arms as she chews in deep thought. “He’s right though. A lot has happened in the last four years.” “I know. I guess it doesn’t seem like a lot when you’re going through it.” “Would it bother him that much though?” Hana comments, and you sit there silently, thinking about the Jungkook you knew. “He does tend to let things get to his head.” “Maybe he just…ran out of things to talk about. And I know that sounds bad but it could be all there is to that.” That wasn’t entirely impossible, especially with how much you can’t talk about in the letters. Even so, you know it’s more than that. “Maybe.” 

⎼

Two days later, standing in front of the tall grey building in the business district, the grandness of the structure makes you feel small. Problems suddenly feel less important, you contemplate turning back around. But Seokjin has just appeared out the glass door, gesturing for you to enter as he holds it open. This wasn’t something you wanted to do, really. But Hana convinced you to give it a shot. You’ve got nothing to lose, she’d said. If you want answers, you’ve got to at least try and get them. And after a couple of nights contemplating, you got on the phone and set up an appointment with Seokjin’s assistant. He hasn’t changed much since, but judging by the large office he now sits in, with a nice view of the city, he’s definitely no longer the same detective. “How’ve you been?” He plops down on his fancy chair, nodding at his assistant as she places a cup of coffee in front of you. You thank her with a smile, and her heels click against the floor as she leaves. “I’m great.” You say, fighting the urge to skip the formalities and get to the point. “And you?” Seokjin raises his brows in amusement, noticing the way you’re clutching your bag, and your legs shaking. “I suppose you didn’t come all the way here just to just ask me that.” “Definitely not.” He laughs at your honesty. “But that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t. So how are you?” “Please save us both the trouble and tell me what’s bothering you?” He says frankly, shrugging when your shoulders slump. “Come on, spit it out.” Gulping down the nervousness, the sun blaring into the office adds on to the heat you feel creeping up. Seokjin laces his fingers together on the desk, tilting his head, patiently awaiting your response. “It’s about Jungkook. Is there…is there any way I could get an update on him?” Lips pressing together into a line, he looks at you like you should know better. You rush to defend yourself. “It’s just that I haven’t gotten any in the last few months.” Your voice gets smaller towards the end, confidence wavering. “Is he⎼” “I don’t know.” Seokjin cuts you off, sighing at the hurt on your face. “And even if I did know…I can’t tell you anything.” “Right.” You nod, fully understanding his position. “I mean it’s not a big deal I just you know thought that maybe⎼ but it’s fine I wasn’t⎼ I mean I knew that⎼” “Have you tried talking to Namjoon?” He suggests, carefully pushing the cup of coffee closer to you. Sipping down your uneasiness, you shake your head. “Isn’t he away? I don’t want to bother him if it’s not something he can help me with either.” “It’s worth a shot.” Seokjin leans in, eyes darting to the door for a moment. “I’m sorry I can’t do much. Eyes and ears everywhere.” “Don’t worry about it.” “Namjoon on the other hand, might be able to pull some strings.” Phones ring in the distance and agents bustle around outside his office. Shoulders slumping, you remind yourself it’s not Seokjin or anyone else’s fault. This whole system was set up to protect their witnesses and informants, so communication is restricted for good reason. 

Though you hadn’t expected much coming in, a tinge of disappointment creeps into your heart and with every step you take, a piece of it trails behind you. But Seokjin had always been the more precautious of the two detectives, and with his new position, even if he could help you, it wouldn’t be something he’s willing to risk his job over. Now standing outside the building, Namjoon’s contact info stares back at you while you contemplate sending a text. The last time you met him was seven months ago, just before Jungkook’s last letter. He had come over to tell you about his assignment, which has kept him away since. [1:50PM] you: hi, can we talk? [1:50PM] you: i need your help [2:10PM] namjoon: is it something you can tell me over the phone? [2:11PM] you: no [2:50PM] namjoon: is it urgent? [2:55PM] you: depends ⎼ Not until a week later do you finally hear from him again. His tall frame stands in front of a large floor to ceiling framed artwork, looking up at the magnificent display with hands in his pockets. The vacant gallery, save for a handful of others spread around, was his choice of meetup. “Is it speaking to you?” His lips curl into a smile, turning to see the amusement on your face. “Do you really want me to answer that question?” “Only as a bedtime story.” Namjoon chuckles, arms wrapping around you in a warm and brief hug. He’s gotten cooler, and bigger, sporting a jean jacket that would absolutely drown you. Adjusting the glasses on his nose, he gives you a familiar look. “Sorry.” You start, “Don’t mean to trouble you but⎼” “Relax.” He chuckles, gesturing for you to walk with him. “I was gonna come back for a couple of days anyway. Plus I figured it was about time you bothered me, it was getting too quiet.” Laughing as your fist lightly bounces off his arm, the two of you take a seat on a bench in the middle of the large room, facing an artwork of a woman laid bare, eyes looking away into the distance. “I spoke to Hoseok.”

“Oh,” you nod slowly, “so you know what this is about then?” “When it comes to you, it’s always ever about one thing.” He jokes, laughing when an embarrassed scowl greets him. “You know I don’t have anyone else to go to.” Sighing, you stretch your legs out in front of you, feet shifting side to side. “Even Seokjin said he couldn’t help.” You hear the sound of his heavy sigh. “He’s not in a position to be doing favours now. Cons of moving up the ranks.” “Didn’t you as well?” “Not in the same way.” Namjoon grins, “I like being on the ground, hands-on stuff.” “Right.” You shake your head; I guess some things never change, you think. A minute of silence fills the gap between you, a comfortable, quiet lull that strangely makes you calm. His presence has always left you feeling safe. “Have you been keeping up with the news?” “A little bit.” He hits you with a look of disbelief, “Alright fine, a lot.” “Then you know trials have been back-to-back as of late. They’re working fast so the suspects can’t wiggle their way out because of some loophole.” He states, referring to the politicians and other big names that have been associated with Kim. “The sooner these guys get their sentences, the better.” “Does this have anything to do with why Jungkook’s not written to me?” “No.” Namjoon sighs, pressing his lips into a polite smile. “I called in a few favours and checked in on them. They’re safe.” Hopeful eyes hold on to his gaze, expecting him to go on with good, or even better news, something to make sense of why he’s stopped writing. But you’re only met with an apologetic smile. Sucking in a deep breath, you let the air out slowly, releasing the tension in your chest. “I’m glad.” Voice as soft as a whisper, gaze on your hands in your lap, you nod when you see him turn to you in your peripheral vision. “That’s all that matters. That he’s safe.” “I’m sure he⎼” Namjoon pauses, wondering if he should stop it there. “He has his reasons?” 

The faint smile on your face, one you’ve mustered up with every little bit of restraint you have keeping you from breaking down, breaks his heart. Fingers playing with the charms on your bag, your chest heaves with another deep sigh. “I’m sure he does.” His warm hand wraps over yours, squeezing tight. “Wanna talk about it?” “Not really.” “Okay,” he nods. Opting to spend the rest of the time focused on the art, half the day goes by as you listen to him ramble on and on about every bit he finds interesting. You only now find out how much love for the arts you have in common with Namjoon, pleasantly surprised by this gentle side of him. “Are you sure detective work is your passion?” You remark while watching him analyse a sculpture of the human heart. “We can check if they’re hiring.” “Very funny.” With a roll of his eyes, Namjoon turns back to the sculpture, and you break into a giggle when you see his phone whipped out, scanning a code by the artwork to get more information. “You should join me at the studio in your free time.” You say, walking next to him. He thinks it over, mouth in a downturned smile, arms crossed over his chest. “Maybe one day.” Namjoon keeps his gaze on you, studying how your eyes glaze over every now and then, and recognising the mask of a smile on your face. “I don’t want to get your hopes up,” he starts, “but I do think things are going really well right now with the ongoing trials.” 

“And of course, it’s subject to approval, but once any immediate and high level threats are gone, he’ll be scheduled to return. And since I was the one who arranged for his protection, I’ll get notified when everything’s confirmed.” “If you’re trying not to get my hopes up, you’re doing a really bad job at it.” Namjoon laughs, “I just can’t stand that look on your face.” “What look?” You glance up at him, and his brows raise. “There’s no look.” “Well maybe you just have that kicked puppy look by default,” Namjoon tilts his head, looking at you carefully, “but I know for sure this has been bothering you for some time. You wear your heart on your sleeve, y/n.” Any hint of amusement gradually disappears from your face, but only for a moment, before you’re putting up a front again. You’re stubborn. “I’m okay,” you insist, “it’s just a couple of letters.” “If it were just that, you wouldn’t have called me here.” “That’s true.” Sighing with your response, the two of you finally stop in an empty room with one lonely sculpture, trapped in a see-through box in the middle of the room, circled by stanchions. As it gets Namjoon’s undivided attention, your mind drifts elsewhere. And it isn’t till he’s circled it, coming right back to your other side, that you open up. “It was bothering me.” He tilts his head towards you slowly. “And that is why I called. I guess I was scared, but maybe I was focused on the wrong thing. It only hit me earlier when you said they’re safe. Because why was I worrying about not getting a letter when this is obviously so much more than that?” Namjoon listens quietly. “He’s worried, you know? He’s been gone so long that the thought of coming back scares him. I thought it was just nerves but clearly it’s overwhelming him. Maybe not writing is his way of dealing with it. And that’s okay. I just need to give him time…whatever happens in the future, I’ll be here for him.” A smile creeps its way onto his face, dimples on display. “You’ve grown. Old you would’ve probably hacked into my database and tried to find out where he’s at.” Eyes widening like you’ve just had a brilliant idea, Namjoon shoves you lightly till you break into laughter. “I’m kidding.” “Sure.” He scoffs at the thought. “But seriously,” you sigh, this time with a more believable smile, “I’m alright. I’ll wait. For now, knowing that he’s safe is good enough.”

Namjoon pulls you to his side in a hug, “I promise you’ll be the first to know if I hear anything. In the meantime, if you like, keep following the trials. Once it’s pretty much settled, I’ll try and press for his return.” “Thank you.” Namjoon’s smile reaches his eyes. “But you don’t have to do that.” And his excitement morphs into confusion. “What?” “Press for his return I mean.” You feel a lump in your throat. “I feel like he’s not ready to…and I think it’s better to let him decide.” “You think he might want to stay?” The thought moistens your eyes, but you manage to pull yourself together, nodding. Namjoon’s gentle gaze settles on your side profile, then back at the sculpture. “I’ll see what I can do.” “Thank you. Oh, and one more thing.” You dig for something in your bag, pulling out an envelope Namjoon’s gotten accustomed to. Handing it to him feels like a slight weight off your shoulders. “Letters work both ways.” you shrug.

⎼

Hello love, I hope you’re well. It’s been so long and I miss you so much. The days are getting longer again and flowers are coming alive. But at night, it still gets terribly cold. You’d protest against this, but some nights I stay out on the balcony to look up at the night sky. The moon still looks as beautiful as always. You see it too, don’t you? You know what it reminds me of? Those times we spent our nights at the beach or the park, talking for hours while the moon watched over us. Now, it reminds me that no matter how far apart we are, we’re still under the same sky. I hope you know that I’m here for you, no matter what. I’m sorry for not realising sooner how much all of this has taken a toll on you. After so long, things may seem a little scary. Daunting even. And it’s not your fault you feel that way, you’re only human. I hope the last few months have been good to you, and that you’ve gotten lots of rest and had a bit of fun hopefully. Please take care of yourself. Don’t skip meals, don’t stay up late to game all night, and don’t annoy your roommate too much. My love, when the time comes, I want you to do what you think is best for you. I know you, and I know you’ll feel inclined to do what you think you have to do, to not let others down. But please, this time, put yourself first. Whatever you decide, even if it keeps us apart for a longer time, I’ll understand. Just know that when the time comes for us to meet again, I’ll welcome you with open arms. Many things may have changed around here, but not my love for you. Whatever it is, we can get through this together. I’ll be here, always.

I’m yours, always. Xoxo, Your Love. ⎼

7 months later Each day greets you the same. At sunrise, your first and only alarm rings, and you hop into a warm shower, cook yourself a small breakfast before your commute to work. The quiet, slow early morning is your favourite part of the day. You’ve learnt to enjoy the peace before the world slowly comes to life around you. Nothing beats the peaceful walk to work, seeing the sun’s rays peeking through buildings in the distance, and the birds chirping in their own worlds. Even on the weekends, where you spend your time at the art studio, you crave that period in the morning where everything is still for a little while longer than usual. Always the first one in, you get the coffee pot going. Two years since you started at a non-profit learning centre; students consist mostly of kids out of school, either by choice, suspension, kicked out, or just due to circumstances that can’t be helped.

Although some days are difficult, you enjoy working with these children. Moments where you see them thrive - whether it’s the little things like getting their grades up or scoring well enough to get them into a vocational school - makes it worthwhile. At the core of it, it’s about making sure they get the same opportunities to prosper as much as the other children out there. Afterall, these children already have it in them, they just needed the extra push and the community, for people to believe in them. Every child you help here, means one less person slipping to a life of crime. Saving them from going into situations they can’t get out of, just to be able to survive…something you hold dear to your heart. By eight, your colleagues start rolling in, calling out a greeting as they walk past your class. Nari, your closest friend there, stands by the doorframe, observing the way you stay as still as a statue, eyes glued to the laptop screen. After a minute, she clears her throat. “Oh,” you break into a smile, “morning Nari.” “Morning.” She walks over, peeking at your screen. “What was so interesting?” Quickly clicking away from the news page you find yourself on every day, you shut the screen down and smile innocently. “Nothing. I’m just tired.” “Behind on work?” She follows as you pick up the stack of worksheets by your side and go around her to set them down on each table. “No,” you say, “all good.” “Hm.” She folds her arms in thought and the unsettling twist in her voice tells you she’s about to turn this into something else. “I wonder…” “Whatever it is,” you spin to point a harsh finger at her, “no.” “I haven’t even said anything.” “And yet you’ve said too much.” Ignoring your retort, her eyes glint with mischief, as it always does when she finds something to tease you about. And oh is she so good at doing that.  “If work isn't what’s getting you tired…” A strange insinuating tone laces around her words, and you look up to a playful smirk on her face. “Is something, or someone, wearing you out?” “Nari.” “I knew it!” Smirking and mischievously shrugging off your firm tone, she gives you a pointed look. “Don’t be shy, give me details.” “It’s not that.” She hops off your desk when you smack her with the stack of papers in your hand. Hovering over the table with a pleading look in her eyes, she begs for details. “Come on, I always tell you about my hookups!” Her display of aggressive cuteness makes you laugh, but you stand your ground. “I don’t do hookups.” “And what a waste. Do you know how many guys would roll over backwards if you asked them to?” She snickers at the instant disgust you show. Nari has always been a social butterfly, and though you never show any interest in her night outs, she never fails to tell you about them anyway. You don’t mind it most of the time. “Unlike you, I don’t have an acquired taste for the weird ones.” “You don’t have a taste for any one.” She tilts her head, wide eyes filled with bemusement. “Remember when we went for drinks and two different hot guys asked for your number and you flat out rejected them?” “Well they weren’t my type.” She groans when you shrug her off. “What is your type then?” Settling back down into your seat, you heave out a huge sigh, “No one.” “Liar. Is it that guy that picked you up last week?” She brings her palms to her mouth, as if she just uncovered something scandalous. Creasing your brows, you then release a chortled snort when you realise. “Hoseok? Ew. He’s my best friend.” “With benefits?” “You’re gross.” You swat her away like a fly invading your space. “Leave me alone. I’m not interested in love.” “Love?” Your eyes shut in exasperation, “No one said anything about love.”

“Exactly.” You recover quickly before she can continue. “I’m perfectly happy on my own⎼” “Oh y/n, sweet y/n,” she sings, “don’t run away from your feelings. Tell me, what has lover boy done to make you so upset?” Nari’s smile morphs into a sulky pout when you only offer her a blank stare in response. Rolling her eyes dramatically, she finally leaves your personal space, sighing loudly as she turns on her heel, her way of announcing her leave, but not before pausing at the door. “Is it a lover girl?” With a raise of your brow, she frowns, leaving without her answer. But no doubt, she’ll be back no sooner than an hour later. As the clicking of her heels disappear, you open your laptop once again, enlarging the picture of Barome in court. Officially sentenced to life over his crimes, court pictures show his face, void of emotion, as the judge drops the sentence. Despite getting the best defence team, the charges held against him were too great to dismiss. Everyone pretty much anticipated this outcome, and any other sentence would have caused a major public outcry. Namjoon was right after all, the trials did go well. All that’s left are the city officials found to be involved. With Barome’s sentencing, their future doesn’t seem so bright. But anything can happen when money’s involved, or so Jimin says. A knock on your door brings you back. “Morning briefing?” “Oh yeah, coming.” Gathering your stationery and closing the window to the page you were on, you switch back to autopilot. Diving into work has been what keeps your mind busy from thinking about the case, or Jungkook. It took some getting used to but after a while, you switch back and forth easily, freeing yourself from your own thoughts.

⎼

A month later A bell chimes somewhere in the store and two pairs of eyes land on you, both darting towards the paint ridden attire on you. Looking down at the old jeans and oversized tee you’re clad in, you give him a sheepish smile, shrugging. Weekends are when you have your shifts at the art studio. A smirk falls on his face as Jimin tells a client to give him a minute. He trots over to you, shaking his head. “You just love being the center of attention, don’t you?” “Oh yeah.” You nod, “I’m in my Sunday best. Of course all eyes would be on me.” Both of you share a giggle before Jimin glances over his shoulder cautiously. “Five minutes?” “No problem,” you wave a dismissive hand, already pushing the heavy glass door with the other, “I’ll wait outside.” Jimin grins, then turns to his client, switching back to his professional self. From outside, you observe his mannerisms, his attention to detail and how the customer beams from ear to ear at every recommendation. Taking a few steps back, you take in the entirety of the shop; its royal green painted exterior, top plastered with the shop name in elegant, gold lettering. It’s one of the finer boutiques in town, and Jimin had been more than ecstatic to land a job here. After two years of slogging it out, his days as an associate came to an end as the promotion to designer landed in his hands. To be fair, his designs are amazing. You stare at the white gown sitting on display, the train spread nicely next to it. It was his first time designing a wedding gown, and it was months of painstakingly designing and manually crafting the piece which now sits for well over two thousand. Sighing, you trot ahead with a smile, walking past a jewellery store, shoe store, and pausing in front of the antique shop you frequent. The owner, Madam Lee, an old, greying woman, smiles from behind the glass. You send a wave. “Back for more?” Her voice echoes from inside. Last week, you had helped yourself to a pair of fine bone china teacups, without much convincing on her part. You laugh, eyeing the lovely vintage watches she has on display. “Only browsing today.”

“These are new ones my son brought in from Europe.” She points to the exact watch that had caught your eye. A vintage cartier, something you would see Lady Diana wearing on her wrist. Without hesitation, she wraps it carefully around yours, humming in approval as it fits nicely. “It’s practically yours already.” “Oh it’s so lovely!” Biting your bottom lip, restraining yourself from fishing out your card, you shake your head. “But this’ll put me behind on rent, I can’t.” Mdm Lee chuckles, undoing the buckle, leaving your wrist feeling bare at the loss. “This one’s quite popular, just sold an identical one this morning.” “I bet.” Your eyes follow the accessory as it gets wiped down and strapped back into place. “Well, not meant to be I guess.” “I have a couple of other designs,” her eyes crinkle into a heartfelt smile. “Take your time. Come back when you’re ready.” “Will probably take a while though.” “What’s meant to be will be,” she says firmly, and you’re afraid to even refute, “and I can tell, this is meant to be yours.” You shrug, “We’ll see.” “I’ve been doing this for thirty years, and I can always tell.” She winks, but immediately after, gently pats the top of your head. “So don’t take too long.” Scrunching your face and rubbing the spot on your head, she gives you a look. “Fine.” You say, jutting your lower lip. She reminds you of your grandmother. Around you, a light crowd gathers to admire the items out on display. While she speaks with a passer-by, you explore the other items, keeping an eye out for Jimin. As you continue to browse the other items, something in your peripheral catches your attention. When you look, no one’s there. Strangely, you sense a pair of eyes on you. A chill runs down your spine. Moments later, someone’s warmth creeps up, arm touching yours. His signature cologne overtaking your senses. “Buying more old stuff?” “Vintage!” “Eh.” Jimin shrugs, despite getting distracted by a necklace he sees. While he checks it out, you scan the area, and see nothing out of the ordinary. Your mind must be playing tricks on you. “Ready?” Jimin asks, brows creasing at the detached look on your face. Softening your expression into a smile, you hook an arm around his and wave goodbye to Mdm Lee. “Let’s go.” ⎼

Trudging along behind your empty-handed friend, the heavy basket weighs your arm down like a ton of bricks. When you suggested a trip to the supermarket before heading back, you didn’t realise he’d completely hijack your basket. “All I wanted was some cream cheese.” “Hm?” Jimin spins round, brows raised innocently. Dropping his sight to the slant in your shoulders, he comments. “That looks heavy.” “You think?” The basket plunges to the floor with a thud, much harsher than you anticipated. Jimin winces, racing to take over. “Do we need this much stuff?” “Hey if I’m staying over, I’m gonna need sustenance.” He says firmly. “And lord knows your cabinets are empty.” Staring in agape, your push sends him stumbling sideways, almost crashing into the shelves, saved by your grip on his sleeve keeping him steady. “I don’t like to be wasteful. I live alone, why would I need so much food?” “What if there was an apocalypse and everyone went into lockdown? You’d be stuck at home with no food, no snacks,” he gasps dramatically, “no coffee!” “I don’t like coffee.” “That reminds me, coffee!” He sprints ahead, basket dangerously teetering side to side, threatening to spill over as he turns the corner down to a separate aisle.

You feel your energy seeping away into the floor, making your steps heavier. You weren’t about to chase this mean all over the market, so you stroll down the sections, looking for other things you might want to get. It doesn’t take long before you’re absentmindedly strolling, arms folded over your chest, humming a little tune. Your mind drifts elsewhere, and you don’t notice the obstacle in your path. Not till it bounces off your leg, landing on his bottom. Looking down, wide eyes stare up at you timidly, a litre of milk laying right next to him. “Oopsies.” Noticing how his eyes have a little shine to them, he blinks them away, apprehensively waiting to see what you will do as you crouch down. “Sorry about that. I didn’t see you.” “It’s okay.” He says softly. “Can I give you a hand?” The little boy grabs on to your palm, pushing himself up. Shyly, the corners of his lips turn upwards but he looks away after a couple of seconds. “Is this yours?” Luckily the bottle of milk remained intact, and you lifted it up for him. “Are you sure you can carry this all by yourself? It’s pretty heavy.” “Yeah, I’m strong.” You laugh at the seriousness in his tone. He can’t be any less than five, but his little frame makes him look much younger. Doesn’t help that he has such an adorable voice. As he looks up at you, it makes your heart skip. Weirdly, a sudden nostalgic feeling rings the bells in your chest. “Have we met before? I feel like we’ve met before.” Your sudden change in demeanour overwhelms him, and he shuffles half a step back, shaking his head. Softening your gaze, you take a deep breath and shake your head. “Sorry. I thought…nevermind.” “I’m new here.” He says suddenly, looking unsure of himself. “Oh,” you smile, happy knowing you haven’t scared him off entirely, “where were you from?” “Mmm…” he presses his lips together and blinks to the ground, “my daddy says I’m not allowed to tell people where we live.” You nod, “Daddy’s right. You shouldn’t tell strangers that.” He smiles, and the squish of his cheeks as he does brings back the same feeling of nostalgia. “What’s your name?” “Mmm…” “No telling strangers?” Biting his bottom lip, the boy nods, trying to read your reaction. You only laugh in response, impressed at his restraint. Most kids wouldn’t bat an eye at giving out information to strangers. “Do you know where daddy is?” “He’s over there.” The little boy turns his entire body to point. “Shall I walk with you?” “Mmm…” You laugh. “Are you not allowed to walk with strangers too?” “Yeah.” “No problem.” You say. “Sorry again for bumping into you. It was nice meeting you!” He grins, “Okay. Bye.” Wasting no time in getting away, his little trot makes you giggle, and you stand there watching as he disappears round the corner. But before you get moving, someone calls out your name. A voice that’s unfamiliar but familiar at the same time. “Y/N?” Turning, he walks towards you with the widest, silly grin. “Woohyuk.” “Fancy running into you here.” You tuck the stray hairs behind your ear, trying to smoothen the frizz on your head. Woohyuk was someone you met recently, thanks to Nari. She had been adamant about him, and was sure this one was your type. Eventually, she brought him along for one of your dinners, frantically apologising the next day when you wouldn’t talk to her. 

“Yeah hey.” You scramble your brain, feeling self conscious over how you look. Not that you care that much, but the last time he saw you, you were dressed up with a full face of makeup. How did he even recognise you in this state? “What are you doing here?” “Shopping.” He lifts the basket in his hold, still beaming. “Right. Stupid question.” “So how’ve you been?” He drops the basket and you realise you’re stuck now. “You never replied to my te⎼” “Your texts.” Shutting your eyes in embarrassment, feeling the heat pool around your face. “Sorry. I’ve been busy. I meant to, I did, I just…yeah.” He shoves his hands in his pockets, almost nervously bouncing on his toes. “No worries. I just thought we really hit it off that night so I…” he shifts about, “thought maybe you might want to go out with me⎼” “Oh. Like on a⎼ a date?” “Yeah.” He waits for your response. “Oh I um…” Coming up blank for an excuse, you stare at him without an answer. The hopeful look he wears makes you feel guilty, but you think he’d take a hint from those unanswered texts. Sure he’s handsome, and to be fair, he was nice to talk to, but not in a romantic kind of way, more like in a platonic, fun kind of way. Although it’s clear he’s hoping for much more. It feels almost suffocating to be standing in front of someone awaiting your response. But just then, a comfortable weight sits perfectly over your shoulders, and Jimin’s face appears next to yours. “Is this guy bothering you?” Woohyuk looks surprised, maintaining his pleasant demeanour, but surprised. “Oh sorry I didn’t realise⎼” “This is Woohyuk.” You quickly say to Jimin, who picks up on your slight raise of eyebrows. “And Woohyuk, this is Jimin. My best friend." He looks way too relieved at that revelation, eyes hooked on Jimin now. “Oh nice to meet you. I’m⎼” “An acquaintance.” You butt in. “Cool. Sorry to interrupt but we’re actually in a rush.” Jimin angles your bodies in the opposite direction, away from him. “Nice to meet you Woohyeon.” You match Jimin’s speedy steps as he guides you along, turning back to wave to Woohyuk, who watches in confusion, a hesitant palm waving back. “It’s Woohyuk, actually.” “Girl who cares.” Jimin hushes you, as you both rush to checkout. ⎼ “So what did that guy want? He looked like you were gonna give him free candy.” Jimin arranges the groceries into the fridge while you unpack the rest from the bags, now realising most of the stuff are his. But he did end up paying, so you can’t complain. “He…wanted a date.” You say as a matter-of-factly. The stacking of cans behind you stops when he turns halfway, distracted. He gasps, “Your first date in almost six years.” “I’m not going.” “Why not? He seemed really into you.” “You know why.” The fridge door shuts and you hear a sigh before his presence next to you, grabbing for the empty bags and folding them neatly. “Yeah.” “That is why Hana told you to stay over this weekend, isn’t it?” His hands slow down and he avoids your eyes. “No. I wanted to stay over. I miss you.” “We see each other every week.” Jimin has always been bad at lying, at least to you. Honesty is his strength and weakness. But he always says he’s way too comfortable with you to lie, because he knows he can always be himself. “We’re just worried about you. What will all the coverage on the case…and you’ve been acting kind of…” “What?” “I don’t know…spacey?” There’s uncertainty in his voice, brows raised as he studies your reaction. “Not here, not there. You’re always staring into the distance, you don’t talk to us about how you feel anymore.” “It’s been five years,” you say, “I think I’ve said all there is to say about the case.” “Not about the case.” He sets the plate down. “About Jungkook.” Even the mention of his name sends your heart into a spiral. Your hands suddenly get busy, clearing the kitchen island and wiping off any water stains, returning clean dishes to the rack. 

“See?” Jimin tugs you close, hand on your arm. “You act all weird about it.” “I guess I can’t help it.” Your voice trails off at the end, wishing you could make yourself smaller. “The rest of us are waiting for him too, you know?” It’s something that you easily forget. Often you think about Jungkook in relation to yourself, perhaps because that’s how it’s been in the past. Back then when it felt like he only had you. But things changed that night he revealed his role in the operation to your group of friends. That was the beginning of his new relationship with them, which unfortunately had to be put on hold before it even had the chance to start. “You don’t have to keep things to yourself.” “It’s a little embarrassing…” You admit, hiding behind a laugh. “I don’t like to think about it. I just get so caught up in my feelings and then I can’t focus on anything…” Jimin gives you a look. “That’s perfectly normal.” “I don’t know…I feel like I’m waiting for someone who may never come back.” Jimin frowns. “Never come back? Did he say that?” It reminds you that you never disclosed what went down with Namjoon seven months ago. No one knows of your request to leave his return in his own hands when the time comes. “Things are just…uncertain.” There’s clearly more that you’re keeping to yourself, and he’s ready to pry, but he knows he shouldn’t press you too much. “Look,” his cool hands wrap around your fingers, “we all know Jungkook has a hard time when it comes to dealing with emotions. Ironically, just like you. But just because he hasn’t been writing, doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to come back.” Biting your lip, you look down at your hands instead. “It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you.” Jimin’s voice is calm and assuring. When your bottom lip starts to quiver, he pulls you into a hug. As if he could read your mind, he continues, “He’ll be back. Trust me.”

Though still unconvinced, you nod anyway and he smiles. “Just please don’t keep things from us.” “I’ll try.” So you say. “Now come on, let’s get this done and have dinner.” You look through the items unloaded on the kitchen island, efficiently placing them where they go, until you’re down to the last two bags of chips on the table. Staring at them, then at the empty shopping bags Jimin folded and left by the side, you shut your eyes in defeat. “Damn it! Forgot my cream cheese!”

⎼

1 month later

Wandering aimlessly as you find yourself back at the supermarket a week later, this time making sure to grab the cream cheese first, with the basket swinging on your arm, a box of toothpaste and mouthwash alongside the cheese rolling about as it sways. You read somewhere once that as an adult, just walking around grocery shopping brings so much joy. And you fully get it now. When work ended early, the first thing on your mind was to race to the supermarket. You stroll towards where the snacks are, recalling how Jimin had obliterated your entire cabinet over the weekend. Of course, there were only two bags of chips, which he also complained about. You know exactly where your favourites are and head right for it. As you do, you remember the last time you were here and it brings a smile to your face. Somewhere nearby, you hear the sound of a child laughing and the faint voice of an adult follows, reminding them to be careful. A strange feeling creeps into your chest. You wonder… Peeking down the next aisle, where the sweets and chocolates are, your heart skips when you realise the familiar little boy crouched down before the bottom rows, picking out a chocolate toy. It’s nothing more than a coincidence, you know that. Normally, you wouldn’t even bat an eye; why would you? If he stays around the same area, of course you’d run into him often. But for some reason, you’re drawn to his presence. There’s something about him that calls out to you, something you can’t place just yet. 

In the distance, someone calls out a name, and he turns his head in response. “Jihoon.” Perking up immediately, the boy runs over. Your heart starts to race. The voice. His name. Jihoon? Could this be just another coincidence? Darting in the same direction he went in, you keep your pace, not wanting to look creepy. Your steps get quicker when you scan the rows of aisles but don’t see him. Not until you reach the checkout counters, pausing as he runs happily towards a man standing at the counter. It can’t be…can it? You get closer, stopping just at the edge of the nearest aisle. “Hey buddy, what’d you get?” The boy tiptoes in reach of the counter till the man lifts him up in his arms, and he drops the singular chocolate egg on the belt. “Chocolate egg.” “That’s it?” “Mhm.” He nods, turning his body to rest against the man, who you assume is his father, letting his head fall on his shoulder. “Mama says I can get only one.” “Mama said so huh?” He chuckles, and it’s oh so familiar, your chest is practically squeezing in on itself. “Well then we better listen. Otherwise I’ll get in trouble.” The little boy giggles. “Can we go home now? I wanna see mama.” “Sure baby.” He soothes a calming hand over his back. “We’ll go straight home.” It’s the following moments, as the man shifts his cap, allowing you to get a glimpse of his features just enough to confirm your suspicions. A soft gasp escapes you. Just as you remember him; smooth skin, button nose, piercing eyes. His hair now black, no longer blond, and sporting a length which runs till the back of his neck. And that means the baby… The cashier finishes ringing them up, and he swiftly taps his phone to the reader, moving to grab the paper bag full of stuff while his other arm holds on to Jihoon. The doors slide open and you find the courage to step forward, still a little out of earshot, and he takes a step out the door before you’re able to find your voice. “Excuse me⎼” It was so soft you didn’t think he actually heard you. But he stops in his tracks, and turns just a quarter of the way, enough to spot you over his sleepy son on his shoulder. For the first time in five years, your eyes meet. And your heart beats wildly in your chest, pounding in your ears. With the adrenaline pumping through you, one would think you were running a marathon, not face-to-face with someone you thought you’d never see again. A mixture of happiness, worry, concern, excitement whirlpools around in your tummy. His eyes widen just a little, so little you think you might have imagined it. It takes him no longer than a couple of seconds to collect himself, lowering his gaze and shifting his cap back over his eyes before marching through the doors and down the street. Even as he’s gone, you stand there, a little dazed, earning stares from the employees. You pinch yourself for confirmation. This is real. It was them. It was him. Suga.

⎼ The only other person who would understand the significance of Suga’s reappearance sits across from you at a newly opened rooftop cafe. Mia, looking even prettier than she used to, stares wide eyed at you as you recount what happened. Her long hair is straighter and shinier, and she dresses very differently from before. After having completed her degree, she now contemplates working on a master’s. Jungkook would be proud. “This is good.” She says, biting her lip. “Why?” “It means the situation now is safe enough for a wanted man to come back.” She says it like it’s the most obvious thing. For some reason, that wasn’t the first thing on your mind. Mainly, you were relieved that he’s been alright all this time. “You know how careful he is.” “Right,” you nod, sipping your drink. “I guess now that they’re wrapping up the trials…” “Jungkook can come back.”

The genuine excitement warms your heart. You didn’t have the heart to tell her that Jungkook stopped writing, and being busy with school has kept her from asking too many questions. Explaining to her that you’re not even sure if he wants to come back now would be too devastating. You hide behind your cup as you take a longer sip. “Mhm.” “You must be so excited.” She says, watching you carefully. You put up a front, finding it easier to fake it than to be truthful. “I can imagine he is too. Probably got your whole lives planned out while he was gone.” You laugh at the thought of it. “He would. Timelines and everything.” Mia agrees, her melodious laughter floating through the cafe. Then she focuses on you, reaching her hands out to yours. “You know, I’m happy things turned out well for the two of you. Even if…you’ve had to endure being apart the last five years.” Your heart aches at her words. You can only hope things actually do turn out well. Praying she doesn’t notice the slight change in your expression and the glossiness in your eyes, you swallow the lump in your throat and nod. “Me too.” “I have so much to tell him.” Mia goes on. Smiling, you watch as she lists down all the things she wants him to know about. She’s gotten a little more talkative, and slightly less attentive - you’re sure past Mia would’ve seen through your fake smiles and secrets. But you owe it to her finally being free now, never having to be careful or suspicious of anyone. “And I um…have something to tell you too.” Her confidence sways a little, and she takes on a shy demeanour. You don’t think you’ve ever seen this side of her. You tilt your head, brows creasing with a curious smile stretched on your face. It’s amusing to see her like this. “What is it? Why are you being so coy all of a sudden?” “I’m…” she looks as if she’s cringing at herself, “seeing someone.” “Oh.” It certainly wasn’t what you were expecting. “You’re dating someone? Sounds serious.” “Kinda serious, we’ve been seeing each other for a while and I kinda…like him. A lot.” She clears her throat, like the next part is more important than the last. “You know him.” Your brows shoot up. “I do?” Mia nods, a hint of panic over her face. Her mouth parts as she’s about to continue, but then her eyes drift off somewhere behind you, and the most genuine smile spreads across her face. The source of her joy walks right up to your table, at the far back, sliding into the seat right next to her. Eyes wide, staring at the person now sitting across from you, you blink incessantly, wondering if your eyes were playing tricks on you. “Why are you…here?” Your eyes shoot back and forth between them. “Wait…you and her…you and him? What? Hoseok?” “Oh sorry I thought⎼” he looks at her, confused. “I was just about to tell her when you came over.” She says through gritted teeth, conscious of the fact that you’re still gaping at them. “We’ve been seeing each other.” “Surprise.” Hoseok says, attempting to gauge your reaction on a scale of horrified to terrified. “The two of you are dating?” You repeat unbelievably. “With each other? Together? A couple?” Exchanging shy glances, the two of them nod. “Since when?” “We started talking almost a year ago. Bumped into each other a couple of times around town.” Hoseok says, “It was purely casual at the start. Didn’t think anything of it. And then…” Mia smiles. “We realised maybe this could turn into something more after all.” “We’ve been lowkey officially together for some time now.” Hoseok admits, rubbing the back of his head. “Sorry I kept this from you, I didn’t want to say anything till I was sure this was gonna work out.” Leaning back in your seat, you take a moment to process this revelation. This is even more shocking than when Jungkook admitted he was Namjoon’s informant. You hadn’t seen this coming, not from a mile away. 

The overprotective side of you wants to look out for Mia, keep her safe from anyone that would hurt her. But then you see the way she looks at him, and your gaze softens. This is Hoseok you’re talking about, he’d never do anything to hurt her, not intentionally at least. A thought comes to mind as you sit there quietly. It humours you, and you break into giggles, earning stares from your two friends. “Y/N? Is everything okay?” You hear Hoseok whisper to Mia. “See, I told you we should wait.” When your fit of laughter wears off, you wipe the tears from the corners of your eyes. Their concerned gazes still hooked on to you, brows raised, waiting for an explanation. “Oh gosh.” You snort, covering your mouth. “Hoseok, you’re so dead, he’s going to kill you.” ⎼

2 months later Time passes faster than you imagine. Without realising, eleven months have gone by since your final letter to Jungkook. Along with it, your thoughts, wishes, and love has hopefully made its way to him. That night, you had spent all evening staring at the night sky from your bedroom window, crescent moon keeping you company. You left a silent wish to the universe, leaving fate in its hands. Since then, you’ve tried to live your life as normally as possible. Delving into work, spending time on hobbies, anything that keeps your mind off something you have no control over. Of course, until Jimin brought it up previously, you never realised how apparent it was on the outside. While you’ve tried to maintain a cool front, when you do allow those thoughts to consume you, or even entertain the silly little tugging of your heartstring every time you see a couple doing regular couple activities, much like how you used to with Jungkook, your chest gets a little tight. Perhaps, locking those feelings away in a box in the far corner of your heart, isn’t such a good idea. Because at times, when you do let it slip out, it manifests into a mess of sleepless nights, uncontrollable tears and an intense desire to run away. But you convince yourself that you have it under control most of the time. Sometimes, it goes unnoticed. Other times, you’re well aware. Just like now, constantly wiping your sweaty palms against your jeans for the last hour or so. Or how your legs have been restless ever since you sat down, something your grandmother would tut at you for. The longer you wait, the more unsettled you get. Sitting by the window, table strategically chosen so you can see him coming, your entire body perks up at the sight of his tall frame and perfect posture strutting down the street. Namjoon catches you through the window and smiles when you wave like he’d miss you if you didn’t. He shakes his head. “Sorry I’m late.” He leans down for a hug, then settles down on the seat across, unwrapping the scarf from around his neck. “Thought I could catch a break coming back but, paperwork is always insane.” “How long are you back this time?” “Hopefully for a while.” He catches the server’s attention and orders himself a latte. “There was a big break in the case, so the special task force is taking over for now.” He takes you through the more interesting parts of the case in hushed tones, occasionally looking around, and pausing when his drink arrives mid-story. He takes a sip and hums in satisfaction at the taste of the warm latte. You watch him carefully, his big frame hunched over as he takes more sips. “What?” He asks innocently. You shake your head. “I like it when you’re back.”

“Really?” He raises a brow, wondering what your reason for that might be, considering your differences. “Yeah,” you shrug, “I feel…safe?” Smile reaching his eyes, he realises how fond he’s grown of you. Truthfully, either of you could’ve cut off contact with each other. He could’ve assigned someone to liaise with you, and you could’ve decided to cut him off entirely, but neither of you did. “That’s sweet. I charge for bodyguard services by the way.” You roll your eyes. It’s so like him to ruin the moment. “Just say you love me.” “Every time I’m with you, I get this intense urge to remove my sister out of my will.” Your laughter echoes through the cafe, and your hand comes up to cover your mouth after letting out a snort. It’s the first time you’ve laughed like that in a long time. Namjoon, equally amused as he is embarrassed, leans back into his chair, hiding his eyes with his hand. Though no one seems to mind, you mutter a soft apology. As you distract yourself with the warm drink, Namjoon sighs, and you watch his smile slowly fade away with a pensive look taking over. You’d be lying if you said it didn’t cause your tummy to start aching. Surely it’s to do with why he’s set up this meeting. “So.” He taps his fingers nervously on the table. “I’m sure you’ve been keeping up with the news.” “Mhm. And you were right.” You nod. “Everyone was sentenced. All guilty.” Namjoon smiles triumphantly. “There’s no way it would’ve gone any other way. Even the government officials were. But when money’s involved, you don’t know how things can go. We were lucky the judge we were assigned didn’t have ties to any one of them.” “Even if he did, I don’t think the public would’ve taken well to that.” “Oh yeah,” Namjoon agrees, “for sure.” “Took a long time but I'm happy we’re at this stage now.” Namjoon picks up on what you’re implying, subsequently avoiding your eyes. But he has to tell you, after all, he’s asked you to come all the way here already. “So, since everything was going smoothly, I arranged a meeting with the chief regarding his return.” Namjoon begins, keeping a monotonous tone, one he uses to remain professional. “It was approved, and I got started on the paperwork. Tied up loose ends around his made-up identity, did checks to ensure no one that knows him now have gotten suspicious. We also did a sweep of the city for potential threats.” You raise your brows as he pauses, urging him to go on. “Things look good, no active threats and though there were people who slipped through the cracks, we don’t think they were high up the ranks enough to know about his, and your, involvement.” “Okay that’s good. So we’re safe?”  “Yes thankfully. We started processing the move back after confirmation.” A smile makes its way to your face, till you realise how he’s barely showing any expression on his. A serious look that takes you back. “I personally went down to make sure things went smoothly. He looks good, healthy. In fact, maybe a little bigger.” He adds in the last part, conscious of how your face lights up. “That’s good.” Your voice cracks as you try to swallow the lump in your throat. “Did you…or did he…say anything?” “Nothing in particular, he seemed…normal.” Namjoon ponders for a moment before asking, “Has he tried contacting you recently?” “What do you mean?” You blink. Does that mean he’s already back? The thought makes your head spin. “I never got a response after the last letter I gave you⎼” Namjoon nods and takes a moment to gather his words. His fingers wrap around the warm cup in front of him, tapping against it. “Here’s the thing, we did move forward with the return. And it went well⎼” “Wait so⎼ he’s⎼” “He’s not here.” Your heart drops. “I don’t understand.”

“As part of the procedure, we made a stop somewhere in Europe and settled there for at least a month before coming back. At that time, we got to talking. He was a little more reserved, and he kept most things to himself. So I can’t tell you what he’s thinking, but I know he definitely was still hesitant to come back so abruptly…Do you remember our last conversation? You wanted me to⎼” “Give him a choice.” You complete his sentence. “I remember.” “So I did.” Namjoon looks down. “Seemed like he already knew I’d be asking him that. But he took a couple of days to think about what he really wanted to do. And he made his choice.” It feels like your heart’s just dropped into the pit of your stomach. It was obvious what Namjoon was trying to get at. Tears well up in your eyes, making it even more difficult for him to keep going. He clears his throat. “As soon as we got back, he was officially released from our custody. But because I knew of his plans, I wanted him to have some protection. He said he’d be gone for a while, but wouldn’t tell me where. I thought I’d have a couple of days to sort something out for him, maybe even head out with him myself. But once his passport was returned to him, he was gone.” You drop your head as the tears start to fall, quickly wiping them away with your sleeves. Namjoon reaches across the table to wrap his hand around yours, squeezing it tight. He watches the way you chuckle through your tears, mustering up a sad smile. “I knew it,” you shrug. “It’s not because he doesn’t love you.” Namjoon says, “Believe me, when I was there, the only questions he asked were of you. If you were safe, if you were healthy, happy…he’ll come back for you y/n.” The words mean nothing to you as you sit there, thinking about the last five years. Maybe he was right to be anxious about change, because maybe he has changed. But it was you who told him to do what’s best for him. You can’t fault him for that. “I could…trace his passport.” Namjoon offers, looking despondent himself. “If I raise an alert on his safety, we could get information on where he⎼” “No,” you shake your head, “let him go.” “It wouldn’t be an issue, and he’d know nothing about it.” As the idea floats about in your mind, you think about how you would feel if you were in his place. “I’ll think about it.” Namjoon nods, titling his head. “Sorry I wasn’t much help…” “You’ve done enough for us.” Dismissing his modesty, you give him a genuine smile. “Besides, it is his choice. If he’s not ready, then he’s not ready.” “Okay.” He sucks in a breath, relieved that the hardest part is over. “Meanwhile, I’m back indefinitely. If you change your mind, or if you just want to talk, call me anytime.” “Thank you Namjoon.” 

⎼

Tonight, the moon hides away behind grey, heavy clouds, leaving you alone with your thoughts as you sit out on your tiny balcony, staring out at the view, if you can even call it that. The apartment you ended up renting was the best choice out of those you viewed, as far as the cheaper options go. Lucky enough to be on the higher floors, only half of the view is obstructed by the neighbouring apartment building, giving you front row seats to their living space windows. But beyond that, high-rise, elite apartments glisten in the distance. Right on cue, down below the neighbour’s dog walks past, having strayed ahead of its owner who strolls behind. It’s always at this same time each night that they make their way back from a walk. You’ve spent so many nights out here, you’ve learnt their routine. Staring back up at the sky, the moon’s completely covered now and a low rumble spreads across the sky. “Fine,” you huff up at the sky, “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

As you turn away, the neighbour’s dog starts barking harshly, catching your attention. It’s the first time you’ve heard him get that defensive. A little ruckus follows, and though you can see very little in the dark, the dog must have spooked whatever or whoever it was, causing a bunch of items dumped along the walkway between the buildings to topple over, clanking and clanging about. Its owner’s voice follows shortly after, pulling him back. He goes quiet, but stands guard as he watches something in the distance. Weird, you think. ⎼

After one of your group lunches, Hoseok and you take a stroll towards his office. 

“I don’t know if I approve.” Huffing dramatically, his eyes widen as he slows his steps to match with yours. Hana and Jimin took off earlier, their workplace in the opposite direction. “I can’t tell if you’re joking.” “I’m not.” You face him with a stern look. “She’s like a little sister to me too. I have to protect her.” “But come on,” Hoseok stops in front of you and spreads his arms, gesturing to himself, “you know me.” “Do I?” Shrugging as you leave him behind, his hurried footsteps rush to catch up with you moments later, appearing by your side again. Eyes full of desperation, Hoseok practically begs for your approval. “Tell me why you like her then.” It doesn’t take him long to list it out. “She’s strong, independent, and hard-working. She’s smart. And amazing. And she’s also hot.” “See? You only want one thing.” Though you were only kidding, it’s fun to watch him squirm. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him so ruffled. “How are you gonna ignore all the other stuff I said?” Ignoring him with a playful smile, you skip ahead towards your favourite store. Mdm Lee spots you from where she rests on her stool by the entrance, grinning immediately as you approach her. “Is today the day?” Grazing your finger over the watch, a loving smile on your face, Hoseok peers over your shoulder curiously. You dread having to break it to her, looking at the genuine excitement on her face. “I’m afraid not…” You say despondently. Hoseok chimes in, “What? You want it?” “Can’t afford it.” You say solemnly. “But you look like you can.” Mdm Lee says, eyeing him down. Flustered at the attention, he chuckles awkwardly. “Well,” Hoseok shrugs, turning to you, “I could⎼” “No way! I’m not letting you.” The older lady slaps the back of your palm and you yelp. “Let the gentleman splurge if he wants to!” “Yeah, let the nice gentleman buy something nice for you.” Hoseok winks, earning a laugh from Mdm Lee. You shake your head. “This is the last I have of this collection,” she says, “will be a while before my son comes back from Europe with a new set. Even then, it’s hard to find such pretty pieces, can’t guarantee I could get the same one.” “Seriously, I could get it for you. As a gift.” Hoseok says softly, no longer teasing you. “For always seeing the good in me.” You glare at him at the last sentence, then break into laughter. Mdm Lee watches on with a smug look on her face. Noticing this, you clear your throat and force yourself to put the watch back nicely in its slot. “Thanks but…it’s alright.” “Tell you what,” she starts, “I’ll hold on to this last one for as long as possible. And if you don’t come back for it in a month, I’ll let it go to the next person.” As you think it over, Hoseok’s elbow nudges your side, urging you with his eyes. When your eyes meet with Mdm Lee’s again, she smiles, taking it as a yes. “You don’t have to do that for me.” You say. “Well fortunately it’s my store and I can do whatever I want.” She raises a brow. You can’t argue with that. “Now, I’ll be waiting.”

“Thanks Mdm Lee.” You go around your friend to give her a hug, her warm hand patting your back. As you walk away, lost in thought about the watch, wondering if you would actually come back for it, Hoseok bumps his arm against you. He stifles a laugh when you glare at him. You take the opportunity to remind him that you’re still undecided on your feelings about him seeing Mia, to which his face drops. This time it’s you who stifles a chuckle. The whole walk back, even through several topic changes, the update on Jungkook hangs in the back of your mind. You had wanted to tell everyone during lunch, but chickened out. Imagining the looks of pity you would get, the comforting words…you were just so tired of that. Also, you knew your front would crack and start crying. Then you decide that maybe it would be easier to tell them individually. Hoseok goes on about work, then Mia, and you wonder if you even want to tell him, potentially ruining his mood for the rest of the day. His office building comes into sight and you internally sigh in relief. Maybe you could hold off telling him and the others just a little longer. Unless Namjoon beats you to it. “Thanks for getting lunch again.” Hoseok had offered to get the bill, much to everyone’s protest. But of course, he had the last say. Hoseok looks at you regretfully. “I wish you would’ve at least let me buy you that watch. I know you were thinking about it the whole time.” “Ha, y-yeah.” You chuckle nervously, cursing yourself for being so obvious yet again. “It’s no big deal, you know?” “Hey, you already got me these, remember?” You thrash your arm inside your bag, fiddling about for your headphones and fit them around your neck. “These are enough.” He smiles tenderly. “Okay, but do let me know if you need anything. I don’t want you to scrimp your life away. After all, you were left under my responsibility.” “Stop being gross.” You stick your tongue out. “What? I am a seriously responsible guy⎼” “Relax,” you shake your head, “I was just kidding about the whole Mia thing. I know you’ll treat her right.” He heaves out a sigh, making you laugh at the genuine relief he shows. Sometimes, you think he’s more naive than he thinks. “I knew you’d come around.” “Sure bud, you definitely weren’t sweating bullets the whole time.” Laughing, he extends his arms around you and envelopes you in a hug. Head resting on his chest, you let out a relieving exhale, one that has him questioning if he should ask, but he doesn’t. Not that he hasn’t realised you are dissociating at times before this. “Sure you don’t want me to send you back?” “Yeah, I’m gonna go get some stuff before heading back to the office.” “Okay,” he nods, walking towards the entrance, waving as you get on your way. “Take care!”

⎼ “About time, isn’t it?” The man who owns the stall leans on the counter, arms folded in front of him. He nods towards the paper.

You shrug and give him a polite smile while fishing out coins from your purse. “You know what they say…justice hurried is justice buried.” 

Scoffing as you hand him the money, he takes his time with the change, sneaking glances at you. “So…happy with the outcome?” “Hm?” You look up from the paper and grab your change. He nods to the news. “Oh, well I guess. It’s good that they all got what they deserved, no?” He smiles, “So what will you do now that your favourite crime series is done?” “I know, so sad. I’m sure I’ll find something to keep me occupied.” You shrug. “Won’t stop coming by will you?” He asks cheekily, laughing while he leans over the counter, gaze lingering a little too long. At that moment you question what you were doing. It’s painfully obvious that he’s flirting with you, and yet you stand there, almost returning his line with a playful one of your own. You tuck the paper under your arm, avoiding his eyes. “We’ll see. See you around.” You hear his chuckle as you trod off, making a mental note to avoid coming back as much. Then again, now that the case is basically over, you probably don’t have a reason to get the paper. On an empty bench by the street, you flip the paper open to its local news section. As displayed on the cover, it talks about the mayor and his involvement with Kim, having been one of his clients, and further encouraging the merger with Barome. A mugshot of Barome at the bottom of the page right next to one of Kim, an old picture, sends chills down your spine. 

Barome’s sentence, aside from his involvement with Kim, had amounted to much more than you imagined. There’s no doubt he’d never see the light of day ever again. 

Now, it’s official, they had sentenced the major suspects as guilty of their crimes, and though Kim is dead, his crimes were still splashed all over, giving anyone even slightly associated with him little odds to get away scott free. Staring into his eyes, it takes you back to the night of the raid, where your lives had been on the line. For the most part, and after years of therapy, you’ve healed from the past. But occasionally, the familiar anxiety creeps its way back. As you continue to scan the page, it gets worse, feeling a growing uneasiness in your chest. Your breathing starts to pick up, and all of a sudden your senses heighten, paranoia setting in. You feel like you’re being watched. Setting the paper down, you will your heart to calm itself, slowing down your breathing. Your eyes dart around, down the street you’re about to walk through, up at the buildings in front of you, and across the street where there’s a dark alley. There’s no one save for a handful of others going about their day. “Y/N⎼” Gasping at the hand on your shoulder, you flinch, panicked and wide-eyed, to find Hoseok standing there, equally surprised by your reaction. “Oh my g⎼” you bury your face in your hands. “Are you okay?” He asks, face full of concern. “I um⎼” you suck in a breath, looking around, and he mirrors you, “yeah. I’m okay. What are you doing here?” He stares for a little longer, before looking around himself, as if searching for something. “Just wanted to make sure you were alright. I…had a feeling…” “Women’s intuition?” You laugh dryly, trying to dissipate the tension.

He chuckles only after a couple of seconds. Eyes dropping to the paper on your side, he nods, “News got you worked up again?” “Oh.” You glance at it and then at the ground. “Yeah. Yeah I think I just need to stop following the case for a while.” “Good idea.” He takes it in his hands. “Look, why don’t I send you back?” “I have to go get stuff for work⎼” He gives you a look you know you’re not gonna be able to argue out of. “Fine. I’ll do that tomorrow then.” “Good.” He offers his hand to you, and you see his eyes dart around once again. “What?” Thinking maybe you’d made him paranoid instead, it makes you feel bad. Hoseok shakes his head, gesturing back down where he came from. “My car’s that way.” ⎼

Hoseok scans the area along the drive back to work, carefully eyeing the streets. He knows what he saw, he’s sure of it. After parting ways earlier, Hoseok took the lift up to his office on the fifth floor. High enough, but not too high to keep him from looking out the window to make sure you were well on your way. Smiling as he sees your back going down the street, with your new headphones still hanging around your neck, Hoseok thinks about the times you would get into an argument just because he wanted to drive you back. Jungkook had asked him to watch over you, and he took it seriously. It’s also why he always waits by the window till you’re eventually out of sight, before being able to get back to work. Just as you reach a short crosswalk, probably heading to the newsstand ahead, like he figured you would, Hoseok spots something in his peripheral vision. A person, dressed in all black, stood by the building just across from his office building, with a hood pulled over his head, and seemed to pick up in your direction. It could very well be a coincidence. But at this time, there aren’t too many people going down the street, so he finds it a little suspicious. Even more so, that he clearly sees their attention on you, now headed your way. Hoseok scrambles, pressing the lift button incessantly before sprinting down the stairs instead. Heart beating wildly in his chest, he thinks of the worst; it could be a snatch thief, and you were an easy target, walking around with expensive headphones. In hindsight, he should’ve called you. But being in such a panic, he wasn’t able to think straight. Bursting through the doors, he jogs in the direction you went in, spotting the suspicious person just ahead. He has to make a choice, to wait and see what happens, or to confront the man. But just as he picks up speed, the figure turns, as if feeling Hoseok’s focus on him. It brings Hoseok to a pause as he then pulls his hoodie down lower, sinking his hands into his pockets. Somewhere in the stretch between the two of them, a bus comes to a stop by the curb, opening its doors and allowing a slew of passengers to exit, conveniently shielding the stranger from view. Hoseok quickened his pace again, slipping through the bodies of people headed in different directions. The moment he reaches the crossing ahead, his eyes are immediately attracted to you, now seated on a bench. A wave of relief washes over him, but it’s quickly replaced with worry as he realises the hand clutching your chest. Hoseok does a quick scan of his surroundings, turning in all directions, staring down each street and walkway. The stranger is gone. ⎼

“Are you sure?” Hoseok paces the apartment, his fidgeting making the other two anxious. “It could just be a coincidence.” “Hana, I know what I saw.” He insists. 

“Well then she needs to know.” Jimin says, sharing a worried look with Hana. Hoseok bites on his nails as he thinks about it, then shakes his head. “But that’ll freak her out! You should’ve seen her, she was petrified from just reading the paper.” The three of them fall silent, each troubled by Hoseok’s story. Now that you’re no longer living together, Hana worries about how you’re alone right now as they speak. “If there really is someone stalking her, we can’t just ignore it.” She says, “Why don’t you call Namjoon?” “Already did.” Hoseok nods, still chewing on his nails. He’s stopped pacing and found comfort on the couch. “I’m meeting him soon.” “What are the chances it’s really someone out to get her for what she did?” Jimin looks at the other two, “What? Now that the trials are done, they’ve resurfaced?” “It’s possible.” Hoseok shrugs, “I don’t think we should underestimate these people.” “I’m gonna be honest,” Jimin presses his lips together and shakes his head, “I don’t think so. He would’ve been caught by now if so. And, why would they go after Y/N? I thought no one knew about her other than the ones who were at the club that night? And all of those guys are dead.” “There is one person…” Both heads turn to Hana. “Jungkook’s friend was never caught, I think.” Realising immediately who she’s referring to, Hoseok’s eyes go wide. “You’re right. It could be him.” “But he’s been gone for years, might’ve even left the country. Weird to think he’d risk coming back just to take revenge.” Hana goes on, a pensive look on her face. “Also…I don’t think he would ever hurt her.” ⎼

Back against the cool grass, with a gentle breeze blowing, and the sounds of chatter filling up the night, Hana glances at you, sitting next to her while you scoop the last bits of froyo from the cup. Hoseok’s story comes to mind and it’s gotten her a little on edge ever since, constantly looking over her shoulder the whole time. “What?” You ask when she stares a little too long. Shaking her head, she pushes herself up, “Nothing.” “You’ve been looking at me weird all night.” She doesn’t try to deny it, knowing how good you are at calling out her bluff. But she also can’t bring herself to be honest when she’s seen how hard you’ve tried to carry on with your life the last few years despite everything. How would you feel knowing it may not possibly be over after all? Hana shrugs, hugging her knees to her chest. “I’m worried about you.” To her surprise, you smile, huffing out a breath. She’d half-expected you to roll your eyes and brush it off like you always do. “I know what this is about.” She straightens her back, wondering if you’d in fact noticed the strange man following you. “What?” “It’s because of what happened earlier this week, isn’t it? I take it Hoseok told you?” She continues to stare blankly at you, and you wonder why she hadn’t just come right out and asked if you were okay. “He saw me freaking out about the news.” Her shoulders visibly relax, and her legs cross in front of her. “Yeah.” She sighs, chuckling softly. “He said you didn’t feel well after that.” “I’m fine now.” Your genuine, yet sad smile tugs on her heartstrings. “I managed to calm down after a warm bath. You know when you look at a picture and your mind just takes you back? It was weird, I literally felt the anxiety that ran through me that night the moment I saw Kim’s picture.” “You haven’t had an attack in years.” She notes, observing the tiny bit of sadness still clinging to your gaze. “Is there something else bothering you?”

Staring out at the view, eyes glazed over, lost in yet another memory. The smell of the earth envelopes you in its calming embrace. Like it was just yesterday, you remember the last date you had with Jungkook the night before he left, sitting on top of a hill just like this. That was the last time you felt like yourself, as far as you can remember. No missing pieces. Just whole. “He left.” “Hm?” Hana’s brows furrow, tilting her head in confusion. “Jungkook.” Swallowing the lump in your throat and lifting your gaze to meet hers halfway, a defeated smile spreads across your face. “He’s taking some time away.” She shakes her head, opening her mouth to say something then stopping again before blurting out. “He is away. Has been for the last five years…” For a moment she wonders if the stress had truly gotten to you, that you were starting to lose your memory. You tuck your legs to your chest, wiggling your toes against the mat and letting your head rest against your knees. Watching you like a hawk, studying your every move, Hana raises her brows for you to continue. “Yes but-” The wind picks up, angrily huffing past, blowing the corners of your picnic mat into the air. Around you, a burst of surprised yelps and excited chatter spreads as people scramble to keep their mats from flipping over. The two of you chuckle as you manage to keep yourselves from flying away, folding the mat in half and squeezing closer. Hana now sits facing you, just inches away. She tilts her head again to meet your eyes. You smile at first, but she doesn’t mirror it, rejecting your constant attempt of masking. “What happened?” She asks carefully. “I had a feeling that he wasn’t ready to come back. Remember how worried he was in his letters?” You swallow the lump in your throat. A loaded sigh gets lost in the night air as the wind picks up speed again. Hana watches the stray strands of your hair float off your head, then is distracted by the distant look in your eyes to bother about the chaos ensuing around you. Once the wind dies down to a gentle breeze, you find the strength to retell Namjoon’s story. As if your words were foreign, so odd and ridiculous, she stares in disbelief. “But what about…why would he-” “I wanted him to have a choice,” you explain, though you know she wouldn’t truly understand, “for once in his life be able to do what he wants to do.” “He can do that here too.”

“No.” You suck in a breath, “It’s not the same. He knows we’re all waiting for him. That we’re all expecting him to come back with a huge smile on his face and somehow get back into the swing of things, to ignore the last five years and move on, live normally, whatever normal is. And I think that’s really what’s making him so anxious.” You can practically see the wheels turning in her head as she quietly thinks what you’ve said. Slowly, her brows grow a little less tense. “So he was back. And gone again?” You nod, and she can’t believe the calmness in your demeanour. “But what about you?” Struggling to continue, trying to say something a couple of times before giving up, she exhales harshly. “Did he at least-”

Already shaking your head, a resigned smile forces its way to your lips. “It’s okay.” “I know you,” she hardens her gaze, eyes piercing into your soul, “it’s not okay. You’re not okay. Why do you keep pretending that you are?” Bubbling with anger once again, it laces around her words and the shake in her voice. Possibly at you, or Jungkook, or both. “Because it’s easier.” You tell the truth. But the truth doesn’t make it any better. “Yes, I love him. I miss him. I want to see him again.” You admit, looking off to the side. “But I don’t want to force him to come back if he’s not ready. I don’t know what’s going on in his head…but I think he just needs time to figure it out..” “So, what? You’re just going to let him go?” “I didn’t say that,” you sigh, “I’m giving him space. Let him work things out with himself. Let him be free for the first time in his life.” Hana softens, though not entirely convinced. Her voice comes out much less annoyed than before. “What if he doesn’t come back?” It isn’t the first time you’ve thought about it. Every night since meeting Namjoon in fact. There was always the possibility that he wouldn’t come back, and you can’t pretend that it doesn’t kill you inside. You shrug it off. “Then he doesn’t come back.” Hana hates it. The look of defeat that she’d never seen you wear before any of this. She gently pulls you into her, letting your head rest on her lap as she tenderly plays with your hair. “What an idiot…” “Me or him?” Your body shuffles against her as you chuckle, letting out a gasp when you feel a pinch on your arm. “Both.” She huffs. At that moment, you shift to flash a cheeky grin up at her, one she hasn’t seen in ages, but glad to see that part of you is still in there somewhere. –

The smell of Namjoon’s new apartment gives Hoseok a headache. A glowing, black leather couch sits elegantly in the middle of the large living space, surrounded by sealed boxes waiting to be ripped open. The rest of the place remains bare, save for a couple of lived-in items like his kettle and a single coffee mug. “You’ve been here two months, you say?” Hoseok asks, disgust apparent on his face. “I’ve been busy,” Namjoon reasons, stressing the last word. Though he takes one look around and gets it. “There’s just no time to clean.”

“You know there are services for that now?” He drags a finger over one of the boxes and holds up his dust coated finger. “Gross.” “Those cost money.” He grumbles, reaching into his fridge for a drink. “Oh no, wherever shall you find some…” He deadpans, and Namjoon rolls his eyes. “Are you here to judge or did you actually have something important to tell me?” Namjoon hands him the drink and takes a sip of his own while Hoseok opens his can. He makes for the couch with his friend trailing along. Hoseok waits till they’re seated to speak. “I think someone’s stalking Y/N.” Namjoon’s brows crease. “Like an admirer or?” “Definitely not. He looked suspicious.” Namjoon tenses as Hoseok explains what he saw. “That’s weird. We did a sweep of the whole city, it should be safe.” He leans back, eyes now distant as he rests a knuckle on his lips. “There isn’t anyone else who should know who she is.” “Hana mentioned something about Jungkook’s friend?” Namjoon snaps his fingers, pointing at Hoseok. “How could I forget? Suga.” “You think it’s him?” Namjoon tuts and presses his lips together. “It’s possible, he did get away. Been off every radar since that night. I never managed to get any info on their safe house either.” Hoseok settles uneasily on the couch. “I haven’t told her about this. Should I?” “Don’t know how she’ll react to it, especially after what happened with Jungkook.” Hoseok frowns, sitting up again. “What happened with Jungkook?” Namjoon shuts his eyes, cursing himself for bringing it up. “Of course she didn’t say anything…” He mutters to himself. Hoseok’s demanding look, especially when it’s about something concerning you, makes Namjoon sigh aloud. While he would have normally stood his ground, a potential stalker lurking sounds like a bad time to keep secrets. When he finally reveals what went down with Jungkook, Hoseok looked no more surprised than he did before. Maybe because it’s a very Jungkook thing to do, he reacts with nothing more than a serious look, nodding to the ground in thought. Softly, he says, “She must be devastated.” “It was her idea.” “But his choice.” “Exactly, she wanted him to have that choice.” Namjoon speaks slowly, stressing every word. “Give her some credit, she knows him well enough to know he needed that option. I’m sure she understands why he’s done that.” Hoseok pauses to shove a dumpling into his mouth, angrily chewing it away. “But it’s not fair.” “What? Finally being able to have autonomy over his own person?” “Okay fair enough,” he scowls at Namjoon’s smug look, “but now what?” His friend shrugs, before quickly getting distracted by his thoughts, which once again drifts back to the suspicious man following you. No one was more ecstatic than Namjoon to know the case is finally put to rest now that the trials are over and Jungkook was officially off the protection scheme. The only follow ups he’d carry out would be out of his own personal interest, as a friend. But the detective in him can’t let this go, not if it could turn out to be serious. He turns back to Hoseok sharply, “Does your building have CCTV?” That night, Namjoon sits in his chair, occasionally swirling around as he mindlessly scrolls through reels. When a notification pings, he props himself up, clicking on the pop-up speedily. 

Here’s the security footage you requested. Managed to put in for some extra footage from other stores down the street. He sends a quick thanks before clicking on the links, multiple windows popping up on his screen. Wide-eyed and on a coffee high, he skips to the approximate timing Hoseok gave him. He hums as he goes, times like this realising maybe he enjoys his job way too much. Because why is the thought of a stalker intriguing him this much? “Hm.” Leaning back, arms folded, his eyes follow the suspicious figure, minutes later, seeing Hoseok himself appear in the footage from another angle. Namjoon reaches over to press a button on his desk phone. When the other person answers, he calls out. “Hey, can you come in here for a sec?” It doesn’t take long for his mentee to show up at the door, closing it behind him. He questions why Namjoon’s sitting in the dark, face lit up from the computer screen, but is only met with Namjoon’s beckoning gesture. He walks over. “Watch.” Is all Namjoon says as he replays the clips. At the end, he looks up at Jaemin, zooming in on the blurry figure, clad in all black. “What am I looking at?” “You tell me.” Namjoon says. ⎼

The moon is clearer tonight, glowing bright amongst grey clouds while its reflection shimmers in the water. Your feet sink into the sand and waves wash them clear every couple of seconds, playfully dragging you along with its weight before releasing its grip as it flows back into open water. The crashing of waves against the beach swallows the sounds of everything else. Even the noise in your head. Higher up the sand, your friends sit around a small fire they made, laughing over burnt marshmallows. Jimin’s shrill voice cuts through the air as Hoseok smacks his arm and the precious marshmallow falls into the pit. As you turn back to the expanse of darkness in front, its largeness threatens to engulf you, which on most days would’ve kept you further up the beach, but this time your mind is occupied with something Jimin had said earlier. “Why are you so afraid?” He asked. “I’m not afraid,” you huff, narrowing your eyes at him, “I’m considering my options.” Hana hums, pursing her lips in thought. “Let’s lay out your choices then. Take up the offer and do something exciting, or…stay here and do the same things you’ve been doing since forever.” You shoot her a look, then glance at Hoseok for support. He catches your eye right away. “It’s a big decision guys.” He chimes in, throwing a random stick he finds into the fire. “One that may never come again.” Jimin adds, latching on to Hoseok’s point and earning him a smack. “Ow.” Shoulders slumping in exasperation, more at your own indecisiveness than at them, you click your tongue knowing Jimin’s right but not wanting to admit it. Earlier on, the art studio you’ve been part-timing at for the last couple of years, had come to you with an offer. They’d been exploring the idea of franchising overseas, and finalised a studio in Japan. Of course, while the studio there finds its footing, they’d need someone to spearhead the operations there, and with how well you’ve been doing, they’d offer it to you. “What’s the problem? You’d have to move to Japan?” Hana asks. “Well, yeah.” You respond like it’s the most obvious thing. “It’s a foreign country. I’ll be on my own. Without you guys.” “But you get to go to Japan.” Hoseok points out, and you glare at him, betrayed. He shrugs. 

“Don’t you want to try new things though?” Hana’s elbow nudges against your side, voice brimming with excitement. “Plus Japan is on your travel list.” “I don’t know…” You hug your knees, “what if I don’t like it? Also I have to leave my other job…what about my students? And what about you guys?” “Oh, what will we do without you…” Jimin rolls his eyes. “Isn’t it only for a few months?” “6 months.” “Six months is nothing.” Hoseok agrees, and you’re thankful he speaks in a more calm tone. “Listen, you’ve got to start grabbing opportunities that come your way. This isn’t the first time you’ve turned down a promotion, isn’t that right?” Jimin asks and your jaw drops towards a guilt-ridden Hana. You should’ve known she would blab. “It isn’t?” Hoseok frowns, confused and a little betrayed that he wasn’t told. “When did that happen?” You wave it off. “Some time back. They offered me the manager position at the centre when our old one left.” He blinks away the disappointment you very easily catch in his expression. “And?...” “I just don’t want to be manager.” Your voice fades away at the end, and you stare at the blazing orange in front of you. The wind blows and the edge of Hana’s dress brushes against your thigh. “It’s nice to be comfortable where you are but maybe it’s time for a change?” “When life gives you lemons…” Jimin shrugs, like the answer is so obvious. But it’s not. To you anyways. Because it’s not just lemons you’re talking about. But the longer you spend carving out a reason not to take up the offer, the more you realise you’re coming up empty. Nothing you came up with were things that couldn’t be fixed. Missing your friends? They’re only a call away, the time difference isn’t even an issue. Leaving your students behind? You’d be back in six months probably. Can’t get used to a new environment? Again, it’s only temporary. “You’ve been living the same life since we graduated. Why do you want to stay the same so bad?” Jimin looks at you curiously. “Is it because of Jungkook?” An unsettling hush falls over the four of you, followed by a smack from Hoseok to Jimin’s head. He scowls, muttering something you ignore by focusing on the crackling of the fire and the sparks flying off into the air. The topic quickly changes after Hana decides to ask Jimin about his own work. Sitting there, nodding and smiling every now and then, but your soul was long gone. Tied itself to a balloon, drifting away with the sea breeze. When you excuse yourself, they tell you to stay close by, no one volunteering to come with. Perhaps knowing you needed the breather. Funny enough, you realise maybe Jungkook isn’t the only one shy of change. In your mind, you wanted a perfect scenario where he would return, and finally the colours would seem brighter, days happier and then your life would finally start. Taking on a new role, a new adventure felt odd because you always wanted Jungkook to be a part of it too. The mundaneness of your every day, though it felt like something that wasn’t in your control, had actually been the thing you unintentionally tried to keep from changing. Much like Jungkook, you too were avoiding change. Huffing out a chuckle, a presence makes himself known with a palm to your back. “What’s so funny?” Hoseok joins you, holding his shoes in the other hand. You shake your head. But then pause, wondering if he already made that connection earlier. “Thinking about change.” “It’s a pretty hot topic recently,” he nods as if sharing a fact, “everyone’s either avoiding it or embracing it.” You laugh, shoving him almost a little too hard that he loses balance but manages to save himself with your grip.

“Always so violent.” He mutters, admiring the light in your eyes when you lift your gaze to the moon. It’s almost as if you were communicating telepathically, sharing a secret till your smile gradually spreads. “Figured things out?” When you turn to him, you’re more relaxed than you were before. “I’m…not going to turn down the offer right away.” “Good. Might be nice, you know?” He says it gently, “You might like it there more.” “I have always wanted to visit Japan.” The way your cheeks rise, a youthful glow exudes, reminding him of the first time he met you. Something else he hasn’t seen in you appears after a long time; hope. Though you don’t say it, he sees it. “Maybe I was staying stagnant because of Jungkook. I just never realised it.” You continue. “So weird how we both wanted to avoid change. But now that he’s out there…somewhere…made the choice for himself. Maybe I should do it too.” “Doing things for yourself doesn’t mean you don’t love him anymore. Of course saying this means I have to agree with Jungkook’s decision to put himself first, which, I still don’t to an extent but, if anything, he’d want you to be free yourself. Somewhere along the way, you may have lost bits of you. This’ll be good for you, find yourself again.” Hoseok says. “I know.” You suck in a breath, feeling much lighter. “I’ll think about it.” “Looking forward to it.” You lean closer, shoulders touching him and he drapes his arm over your shoulder, pressing you close to his side. When you pull away, he looks down at you peering over your shoulder, as if looking out for someone. He questions you with raised brows and you shake your head. “Felt like someone was calling me.” You quickly brush it off, though it leaves an uneasy pinch in his gut. As you turn to walk back, Hoseok stays a step behind, scanning the place, though it’s too dark to see anything else. About halfway, you swivel, dress twirling around you as you stare up at the moon again. 

⎼

1 month later

The busy roads and bustling streets remain foreign even after months. An outdoor cafe sits fifteen minutes from the apartment, tables and chairs fitted nicely along the side of an old building now a dusty yellow, with vines clinging to its walls, keeping the cracks and scuffs company. It sits comfortably along a wide alley where tourists and locals pass through. A cup of coffee sits on the table untouched, as Jungkook rests on his palm, watching people go by. He’s come to recognise the regulars and routines of some. Two women come up to the cafe, glancing at the handwritten menu up front. As a server approaches them with interest, they reply in broken Italian, read from the translator on their phone. This was a daily occurrence. He wonders if the workers here ever get annoyed at the constant miscommunication, or if they simply get used to it. He’d learned a couple of phrases from Taehyung, just enough to get by without struggling. As the women get seated two tables down, Jungkook decides it's time to go. He empties the coffee and returns the cup inside, though they’ve gestured to him multiple times he didn’t have to do that. But Jungkook simply smiles and waves a hand before leaving. Grazie. He would call out. When he slips through the door, Taehyung looks back from the balcony, where he sits with his sketchbook on his lap. Jungkook goes straight for the couch, dropping his arm over his eyes. “What’d you do today?” Taehyung asks without looking up, hands busy. 

“Nothin’.” He mumbles quietly. “I got a call from home earlier.” Taehyung peeks over his shoulder to see him in the same position, unmoving. “Guess who from?” “I don’t know…your friends?” “Our friends,” he corrects, noticing Jungkook turn his face away slightly. “But guess who?” When he remains silent, Taehyung sighs dramatically, hopping to his feet. Jungkook flinches the moment the sketchbook smacks against his middle, forcing him to a sitting position. Beside him, Taehyung plops down. “Guess who.” “Oh my god,” Jungkook throws his hands up, unfazing Taehyung, “who?!” He could tell this would be you related. But he didn’t realise seeing your face on Taehyung’s tiny screen would make him feel all sorts. It’s like he could hear his heart breaking but beating fast at the same time. The smile you wear, one so sweet and angelic. You’re not even in the middle of the picture, just at the back, but his eyes are only drawn to you. Jungkook’s lingering stare makes Taehyung smile in satisfaction. Like an annoyed teen, Jungkook gets up with a huff, but gets tugged back down. “You really do get disarmed when it comes to her.” Even a death glare doesn’t scare Taehyung. Never did, as Jungkook recalls. “Have you made up your mind about going back home?” “I thought you said I could stay here for a bit.” Jungkook says bitterly. Through Jaemin, he found out Taehyung had moved to Italy right after his family decided to relocate. He very well could have stayed back in Korea, but thought it would be nice to experience life here. Jungkook needed somewhere to go, anywhere to give him space to clear his mind. When he got hold of Taehyung’s contact, he planned a flight out. “It’s been more than a bit…” Taehyung says, flicking Jungkook’s chin with his fingers. “But I don’t mind. I figured maybe you’ve just started to get a little homesick.” “I’m not.” He frowns. “Okay,” he shrugs, “you’re welcome to stay for as long as you like.” At dinner, Jungkook serves a nice pot of army tofu kimchi stew. As a deal, Jungkook would make dinner while Taehyung does the cleaning. He was always the better cook anyway, and Taehyung was already missing food from back home. Taehyung scoops a full bowl of rice to hand over to him and thanks him for the meal. Silently, Jungkook prods at the steaming rice, waiting for his friend to take a bite of the soup. Only when he hums in approval, does Jungkook take a serving of his own. “Did you tell them? About me.” Jungkook knew he wouldn’t, he just needed a reason to bring it up again. Taehyung’s brows crease together. “Why would I do that?” He shrugs. “Just checking.” “I’m not sick of you yet.” He slurps more of the stew. “Not as long as you keep making these delicious meals. You really learned to cook all by yourself?” Jungkook nods, hiding a proud smile. “We had to keep to ourselves mostly. And we were really homesick, so I started following tutorials on youtube. Got the hang of it over the years.” “Back then you could barely make soup. Only your steaks were decent.” Taehyung chuckles and Jungkook smiles fondly. He watches Taehyung with a question burning in his chest. Not that it would affect any of his decisions, but he was curious, “Do you miss home?”

Taken by surprise, but in a good way, Taehyung lifts his head mid-chew with a gleam in his eyes. “Of course! My whole life was there.” “Have you ever thought about going back?” He hums, wondering what’s bubbling in that mind of his. In the last two months, he’d avoided any talk of home. “I visit sometimes on holiday. But I also enjoy my life here now, so I don’t think I want to move back yet. But would I go back? Yeah, definitely, one day.” Across from him, Jungkook takes a bite only after he finishes his sentence, nodding as he takes it in. “Do you feel weird about going back?” Taehyung leans back in his chair, arms folded as if he’s figured it out. “Is that how you feel?” “I didn’t say that.” “No but that's why you’re asking.”

Jungkook shoots him a look as if asking are you going to answer or not. Seeing this, Taehyung laughs, resisting the urge to reach over and smack him on his head. “Is that all it is? You’re nervous?” “Is that so hard to believe?” Jungkook stuffs his face with rice, keeping his gaze on the bowl. “Yeah a little bit.” Taehyung’s voice comes out as whimsical and borderline teasing, but it makes Jungkook smile a little at how much he’s enjoying such a trivial thing. He smacks his hands together. “Right. Talk to me.” Jungkook simply shrugs at first. Even after all these years, he’s still the same guy from back then. How could Taehyung forget? It’s never easy with him, especially not when feelings are concerned. He leaves it at that, and Jungkook doesn’t complain. After dinner, Taehyung drags him out for a walk. The humidity gets bearable after a while, but Jungkook sticks to his sleeveless tops, scoffing at Taehyung’s ability to prioritise fashion over comfort. They sit at a bar which rests on a hill overlooking the city and Jungkook breathes in the night air, feeling a little less caged. “Are you nervous about seeing everyone again?” Taehyung goes straight to the point, barely giving Jungkook time to savour the beer in front of him. Jungkook wipes the remnant from his lips. “I don’t know if nervous is the right word.” “Scared?” “I guess I am a little worried.” Jungkook finally admits, feeling that drop in his stomach as he thinks about it. “But not about them. More like…about how different everything is.” “In what ways?” Taehyung rests his elbow on the table and chin in his palm. His body faces Jungkook entirely. “Like everyone’s just…different.” “Five years is a long time, bud, I’d be worried if they’re still the same.” He responds with a chuckle and a hand to Jungkook’s shoulder. “You’re different too. Well not entirely. Still grumpy as you were. But your hair’s long, you’re much bigger, piercings, and not to mention the very subtle full sleeve.” Jungkook smiles as he glances at his arm. Over the years, he’d gotten himself inked enough to fill a sleeve. “I guess so. But I’m not talking physically.” Taehyung raises a brow curiously, gesturing for him to explain. “I used to get updates about the little things through our letters back then. And even though the content was limited, I knew everyone was growing into themselves.” Jungkook runs his finger on the cold glass, drawing figures. “They all got good jobs, they’re happy, some making a name for themselves. And I’m happy for them. Meanwhile, I was just getting by.” It finally makes sense to Taehyung. But he’s silent when he senses Jungkook has more to say. “I feel like…everyone’s moved on. And I’m still only starting.” “Well that’s not fair.” Taehyung nudges him. “It’s not like you did nothing over the years. You got your degree. Picked up a new skill. Did well enough at your job for them to offer you a raise just to keep you.” “But it’s not the same- I’m not-” Jungkook sighs. “I’m not- good enough.” Seconds of silence follows as Taehyung watches his friend chug his misery down with beer. Perhaps this was the first time Jungkook has been so painfully raw and honest. And to know that even after so long, he still thinks so lowly of himself, leaves a bitter taste in Taehyung’s mouth. But convincing him of his worth isn’t what he needs right now. Jungkook knows what he can do. What he’s worried about is the rift between himself and the others formed after five years. “When I go back, I’m nothing. No family, no place to stay, no job. Nothing.” Jungkook’s voice gets softer. “It’s embarrassing…” “No one is going to see it that way. We know where you’ve been all this time, we understand.” “It doesn’t change that fact.” Jungkook buries his face in his hands. 

After a moment, Taehyung speaks. “Give yourself a break, Jungkook. Even if you have to start over, find your footing, it’s nothing you can’t do. And it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I think once you’re back there and once you find your rhythm, it’ll all start going up from there.” “I was back for a while…” Jungkook states, twirling the remaining liquid in his glass. “Was that when you got my contact?” He nods. “I told Namjoon not to tell anyone. I also told him I was leaving the country for a while.” “Does he know you’re with me?” “No.” Jungkook focuses on a spot on the table, getting lost in his thoughts. “I hung around and tried to see how I felt. But it was weird. Things were different and everyone was different.” He sighs. “I saw Y/N…watched her from afar.” “She misses you.” Taehyung relays, having heard from Jimin. “I was almost starstruck, you know when you’ve waited so long for something and when it finally appears in front of you, and your brain just stops functioning? I was practically stalking her. She was just walking down the street, but she looked so beautiful. She’s got a good job. Two jobs. She lives on her own now.” Taehyung raises his brows encouragingly as if hearing this for the first time. The smile on his face then gradually drops. “I thought about going up to her several times but I couldn’t bring myself to.” “Why? She’s been waiting to see you for so long.” “I know.” He runs his fingers through his hair. “But I didn’t want to ruin it.” Taehyung tilts his head. “Ruin what?” “Her life.” “I mean,” Taehyung shrugs, “that ship sailed years ago.” He punches Jungkook’s arm jokingly when the man sends daggers through his stare. “I’m kidding obviously. But why would you ruin her life?” “I don’t know,” Jungkook whines, “she has good people around her.” He remembers seeing you that afternoon, walking with Hoseok as he fixes the headphones around your neck. You hug. Your gazes linger. He’s grateful that Hoseok kept his promise of looking out for you all this while. Jungkook was even impressed he had spotted him trailing after you. Caught off guard, hoping that when their eyes met, Hoseok hadn’t clicked it was him. Luckily for him, a bus pulled up and the crowd gave him the perfect chance to escape, hiding down a nearby alleyway. He kept watching afterwards, how Hoseok caught up with you and ended up sending you home. Some nights, he’d linger around your new apartment building. Of course, thanks to your letter, he knew you’d be staring out at the moon. Several times, he’d managed to find a nice spot in the alley between your building and the next, where it’s dark, hiding in the shadows, looking up at you as you look up at the moon. He even risked his life, almost getting attacked by a dog. Then there was that night at the beach. Everyone was with you. You were talking and laughing, something he’d missed so much. Seeing you laugh from afar without getting to hear your voice felt so cruel. But it was his own doing. Then you walked away, getting almost too close to the water that he almost got up himself. But of course, Hoseok was there to keep you safe. His heart squeezes in his chest as he watches Hoseok’s arm around you and you lean into him. When you walk back, you have a wide smile on your face. So happy and content. Things might change if he comes back into the picture. That night, he decided he can’t take that away from you.

“Obviously, I can’t change how you feel. I can only give you my perspective. And I do think you’re being unfair not only to yourself, but also to your friends. Especially your girlfriend.” He continues, “Whatever you feel about being not good enough, are your own feelings and no one else’s.” That night, Jungkook lay in bed, going over what he thinks he should do next. What is important to him? Was Taehyung right when he said he was selfish? Perhaps he should give you the chance to say it if he was interrupting your peace. The brightness of his phone blinds him momentarily in the dark. He pulls out an old photo of the two of you, one he’s always kept close to him; his lips pressed to your cheek and your bright smile shining through. 

⎼

2 weeks later…

Holding the itinerary in your hands, tingles jolt through your fingers, part of you in disbelief that it’s actually happening. You attended a short briefing earlier with someone from HR who talked you through the trip. Though, you were only half listening, nodding every now and then while your mind drifted off to the different locations you’d already planned on visiting while you’re there. The excitement brought you to the mall, picking up a couple of things you’d need. You contemplate each time you pass by a clothing store, knowing you don’t actually need new clothes. But it just felt like the right occasion. New clothes for a new environment, new adventure. It’s the first time in a long time that you’ve had to prepare for something totally out of your normal routine. Afterwards, it was back to the learning centre, where Nari eyes the bags you have in one hand. “Show off.” She huffs, but doesn’t move from her spot right next to your desk. “Nari, please.” You smile, seeing through her attitude, knowing she’s only upset about you leaving. Your fingers grab onto hers gently. “I’ll come back. I think.” “If you come back, I’ll literally punch you in the face.” You look at her with a brow raised. “Why would you ever want to come back?” She genuinely asks, staring at you incredibly confused. “It’s a chance to start fresh and break out of this hellhole.” “So dramatic,” you roll your eyes at her and she slams her fist down in front of you. “I swear if I find you back here willingly, you will get punched.” She squints her perfectly lined eyes, “Are you gonna miss me?” You explode in laughter, pulling her into your arms. Even with her head on your shoulder, you could feel the pout she’s putting on. Nari is definitely not everyone’s cup of tea, but you’ve grown to appreciate her bluntness. “I hope you find it.” She says, cheek pressed against you. “Hm?” “Whatever you’re looking for.” She continues when she pulls back. Stunned at her sudden change of tone, all you can do is stare. She shrugs, suddenly feeling conscious. “What? It just always feels like you’re waiting for something or looking for something. I hope you find it. And I hope it makes you happy.” You gently graze your palm against her cheek and she smiles. ⎼

When you get a notification of a delivery, you head down without much thought. Thinking it was something you had ordered online, you’re surprised to instead find a nice bouquet sitting by the collection area. No note, and the delivery person had gone. Still, you could make a guess who it’s from. These orange marigolds were the same kind you were eyeing just last week while you tagged along as he bought flowers for Mia. He must’ve noticed you staring at them. You make a mental note to thank him later. Everything’s coming together nicely. Even if it is only a short three week trip, there were many things that ran through your mind. What if you hate it and want to come back? What if you got homesick on the first day? What if your dad needed you? What if your house caught fire? What if the stray cats you feed go hungry and think you’ve abandoned them and vowed revenge? According to Hana, most of those are normal thoughts except the last one. You disagree. 

You see her waving to you up front, surrounded by Jimin and Hoseok, who turns when she does. At the sight of you, they wave as well. They turn to each other for a moment before two of them enter the restaurant, and Hoseok remains outside. While some things on this familiar street have changed, stores rebranded and others upgraded, it hasn’t changed that much for you to notice the new store along the path. Or maybe it was just one of those places you hadn’t noticed. It was black on the outside, and freshly painted by the looks of it. Something simply draws you to it, and you pause, staring at the front. Hoseok tilts his head when you glance at him. Crave Ink Studios. Through the frosted glass, you can see a dim light inside. It doesn’t help when you press your face to the glass, hand over your eyes. As if on autopilot, you grab the door handle and hear the jingle of the bell from inside. It doesn’t budge, and only then do you notice the closed sign. You step back, staring at the shop again. From where he is, Hoseok whistles, dividing your attention. “What was that?” He asks when you reach him. “That tattoo shop,” you mutter, “is it new?” “I guess so.” He looks back at it, confused. An arm around your shoulders to guide you inside. “Why though? You want a tattoo?” “Who’s getting a tattoo?” Jimin asks as you slip through the door. “Not Hoseok, that's for sure.” You mutter and the other two laugh, Hana hooking her arm around yours. Jimin grins at Hoseok while he takes the seat across from him. “You couldn’t even watch me get a piercing.” “It was a needle poking through your flesh.” He deadpans, as if that should be enough to make his point. But the younger one simply rolls his eyes. Hana rests her chin in her palm, “So, how are you feeling?” She admittedly has been more excited than you have been when she heard you decided to take on the job. You nod, letting out a breath as you think about the many things going through your head. “Excited,” you breathe out, “kinda weird, haven’t had this feeling in a while.” “Just imagine, in two weeks, at this time, you’ll be in Japan, living your best life.” Jimin points out. But you were quick to shut him down, “I’ll be working, Jimin. There’s lots to do.” “Lots to do indeed.” He winks knowingly. You ignore him, turning to Hana who shows you go-to places for your trip. “It’s only three weeks, I don’t know if I’ll have time to explore.” “Only three weeks?” Hoseok puts the menu down. “I thought it was longer than that.” “Well…” you shrug, knowing they’re about to give you dirty stares. “They told me three weeks for starters. And if I find it alright there, I can extend my stay.” “Right.” He nods. “I’m sure you’ll like it there. Three weeks will go by in a jiffy.” “Make sure you’ve packed enough.” Hana reminds you, although she’d come over a week before to make sure you did. “I might have overpacked, I brought some gifts for the new staff I’ll be meeting there…oh that reminds me!” You recall, “Were the flowers from one of you? Was it you Hobi?” He pauses, thinking back to himself if he did actually send you something. “Flowers?” “Yeah, they were delivered this morning.” You purse your lips in thought. “Weird. Thought it might’ve been you. They were the exact flowers I was looking at the other day, remember?” “The orange ones?” He asks. “Yeah. It was you, wasn’t it?” You ask, smile going up to your eyes. Before he can even answer, or think about answering, you were already grabbing his hand. “Thank you. They’re lovely.” He smiles, muttering softly, “No problem.” He glances across the table, where Hana’s brows furrow in question at his confused face. He shakes his head lightly, and shrugs. ⎼ Hot vapour rises from the mug in your hands, taking tiny sips, reveling in the feeling of the hot drink disappearing down your throat. You stare at the packed bag sitting by the door, ready for takeoff a week early. 

After saying goodbye to your students at the centre last week, you’re now on unpaid leave of absence. Which means more time to yourself, and also more time to sit alone with your thoughts. Maybe you should’ve left the packing to the last minute. On your small dining table, lay boxes of chocolates you’d gotten from work, with messages and cards from your beloved class wishing you luck. Among the boxes of chocolates, you find a particularly elegant looking one. But it’s also one you recognise as one of your favourites. Jungkook used to get you these all the time back then. A weird feeling spreads through your chest as you tug on the ribbon, picking one out of the box for a bite. No one else really knew about your obsession with these, so you haven’t had any since he left. The bitterness of the dark chocolate paired with the caramel inside melts in your mouth and you sigh. Along with it, memories from happier times. With all the prep you’ve been doing, it was easy to pretend he isn’t always at the back of your mind. Though it may seem like it on the outside, you haven’t once stopped thinking about him. Where he’s gone or what he’s doing. Once a couple of weeks ago, you’d thought about texting Namjoon, taking up his offer to track Jungkook’s location. But you stop yourself. He deserves his freedom. A gentle mewl reaches your ears, and you feel soft fur grazing against your feet. When you look down, she meows at you, waiting for you to pat the spot on your lap before jumping up. “You always know, don’t you baby?” You say as you run your hand over her, and she meows back nudging against your palm. You’d found her as a stray near your apartment when you first moved in. When none of the neighbours claimed her as theirs, you decided to keep her. She has smooth, cream coloured fur all over. Thus her name, Cream. “Do you think he’s happy, Cream?” She gives a sad mrrp, looking away and you laugh. “I hope he is though.” She continues to wait for more pets, bumping her head against your hand whenever you stop. A total princess she’s become, but that’s your fault for raising her like one. You rub the sides of her cute face and she raises her head with her eyes closed in bliss. “I miss him though. But I also get it…maybe right now, I’m not what he needs.” She chirps. “Yeah I know, he loves me. I love him.” You smile when she slowly blinks at you. “And I love you.” At the stroke of ten, she hops off the table where she’d been loafing while you read a book. Looking back at you, she calls out, as if reminding you of the time. You follow behind, switching off the lights as you go. In your room, your other cat Jiji, sleeps in a ball in the corner. You barely notice her, black fur blending in with your tossed sweater. Cream hops on the bed only after you’ve gotten on and waits patiently for you to get comfy before coming over. It’s always harder to keep your thoughts in check when you’re alone in the dark, with nothing to distract you. “Why does it feel like we broke up again?” You ask no one in particular. But Cream walks up to you, sniffing around your face like she can sense the incoming tears. Rolling over to your back, you’re suddenly drawn to the picture of the two of you sitting on your bedside table, letting it rest on your chest. “Idiot…” you laugh quietly, looking at his face. “Couldn’t just come back to me like you promised, could you?” The next morning, you wake up with something poking against your middle. Sleepily running your palm against the mattress, you realise it’s the frame which kept you company. The air buzzes around you like a hangover, remnants of the dream you had still lingering somewhere in your consciousness. As you open your eyes fully, allowing reality to reel you back in, the dream slowly fades from memory. The only thing you remember is the feeling of Jungkook’s hand in yours.

⎼

“Look.” Hoseok shoves his phone in front of Namjoon, who backs away slightly before swiping it. It’s an open chat with him, you, Jimin and Hana. [9:30AM] Y/N: someone paid for my coffee today [9:30AM] Y/N: that never happens [9:35AM] Hana: I pay for your coffee all the time…? [9:35AM] Y/N: But you’re my bestie, you’re supposed to [9:36AM] Y/N: I mean like a stranger paid for me [9:36AM] Y/N: didn’t even see who it was [9:38AM] Jimin: sounds like you’re having a great morning [9:40AM] Hana: what do you mean I’m supposed to??? “You don’t have to read the whole thing.” Hoseok comments, watching Namjoon’s eyes flicker back to him over the phone. He hands it back, “What was I supposed to look at?” “She’s been getting lots of mystery gifts,” Hoseok insists, “it’s getting weird.” “Am I supposed to arrest strangers for sending her gifts?” Namjoon digs into his plate, swirling maple syrup all over his waffles with a nonchalance that could make Hoseok scream right then. “But it’s weird.” He says through gritted teeth. “The other day we stopped to look at flowers at a shop. The next week, someone sends her the exact flowers she was looking at. She thought it was me! Cause no one else could’ve possibly bought the exact flowers.” “Did you say it was you?” Namjoon points his fork at him. “I didn’t want to worry her.” Namjoon raises a brow with an awfully smug look on his face before stuffing the waffles at the end of his fork into his mouth. “What a weasel.” “Okay that’s not the point,” Hoseok grabs on to the sides of the table like he could eject out of his chair at any second. “I think someone’s watching her. It must be that guy, the one I told you about.”

Namjoon stares at him while he chews. A moment later, he sets his utensils down and brings the napkin to his face. “That was a while ago, wasn’t it? You said it stopped.” “No I said, I haven’t seen him around since.” Hoseok stresses. “We took turns staying close to her just in case. She noticed it too, you know? Sometimes she gets all weird and says she feels like someone’s watching her.” “Does she know about him?” “No. She’d have a panic attack if she did.” Hoseok deflates thinking about you. The bright energy radiating from you recently is something he doesn’t want to see disappear again. “Did you ever ID the guy?” “We looked at the tapes.” Namjoon nods, bringing some eggs to his mouth. “He’s not anyone on our threat radar.” “But he could be. Even if it isn’t related to the case, maybe it’s just a stalking case. Either way, shouldn’t we stop him?” “We need to have evidence.” Namjoon points out, “One video of him trailing behind her then sprinting down the corner when he sees you isn’t enough.” Hoseok sinks into his seat, picking on the skin of his lips. “I guess it’s a good thing she’s flying off soon.” “Flying off?” Namjoon tilts his head. “She’s going somewhere?” “Yeah Japan. For work.” Hoseok sighs, stirring his drink. “Hopefully this creep doesn’t follow her there…” Namjoon hums, suddenly intensely focused on his food with a frown on his face. He then straightens up with a pensive look which makes Hoseok react. Namjoon chuckles. “What? Why did you make that face?” “How long is she leaving for?” “Two weeks for now but once she okays it, she’ll probably spend quite a long time there.” Namjoon nods, chewing on his food as he watches Hoseok carefully, the unreadable expression making him jittery. 

⎼

Hoseok leans against his door, tapping on the window of the driver’s seat to the beat of the music playing as he waits outside the building you’ve just disappeared into. He swears it’s nothing creepy; following you from a distance on days he didn’t need to be in the office. He started doing this the weeks after the suspicious man. Ironically, he was stalking you to catch your stalker. He’d stopped months ago, when nothing came of it. But since recent events, he’s decided to get back on it. 

He’d found you easily from your updates in the chat. After dropping by two cat hotels, you exit the current one and walk to the nearest bus stop. It feels weird to just watch as you get on and off public transport while he could literally drive you places. 

But he has to stay at a distance if his goal is to catch anyone following you. Already parked by the street he knew you’d get down at, he continues watching as you stop by a bakery, and a fruit stall. Then before going on your way again, you pause, turning around. For a moment, Hoseok thinks he’s been made. But you aren’t looking his way. Perhaps you sensed someone watching you again. Hoseok turns in his seat to follow your line of sight. Lots of other people walking in both directions, but no one or thing particularly suspicious. When he locates you again, you’ve started walking into the direction you were staring down. He huffs, now having to make a u-turn to continue following you. So he decides to walk, a risky decision. You could glance across the street at any moment and spot him. He maintains a good distance but one well enough to see you clearly. When you finally slow down and come to a stop, it’s outside the tattoo studio from weeks ago. Hoseok leans against the wall across the street and a couple of stores down, trying to blend in. The next moment, you’re entering the shop. What business could you possibly have there? A little worried, he remembers the last time you went to a similar shop, and came out with not one, but two piercings where you couldn’t show him. His lunch threatens to come back up just thinking about it. Ten minutes later, you’re out. A smile on your face. That was too short for a piercing or a tattoo. He sighs in relief. He turns his back as you go past him, pretending to be window shopping, till you’re already back on your normal route. What is it about this store? He wonders, still rooted in the same spot. Saving his curiosity for next time, he’s just about to dart back to the car, till he sees the door to the shop swing open carefully, and someone emerges from inside. Not just anyone. A familiar build he’s seen before, peeking out the door down the street you left. Same hoodie on, with light sweatpants this time. It’s him, the one who was following you. Cautiously, he steps out, craning his neck. But you’re far gone. Relieved, he steps closer to the side of the road, and brings a cigarette to his lips, lighting it up. Then he tugs his hood off. Hoseok’s jaw drops to the ground.

⎼

Jungkook lies in one of the dark rooms, a hand under his head as he stares at the ceiling. His heart still racing thinking about what happened earlier. Just two weeks after being back, he’d come into the tattoo studio he now co-owns with a friend from the past. Back when he first landed home, he’d met up with said friend, pitching an idea. More than happy to ditch the dirty underground tattoo spots in dingy places, Jungkook proposed they start a proper store. While he was away in Italy, Jungkook left the store’s design and reconstruction of the new place in his partner’s hand. Now that he’s back, he would help with the day to day operations, though there’s not much of that going on yet since the interior needs some tidying up. Having bought over the second floor as well, it’s where Jungkook’s been staying while he hunts for an apartment. Jungkook hadn’t expected to come face to face with you so soon. Well, sort of. Of course, he’d been watching you as soon as he was back. To his surprise, your routine changed. But as usual, you would always hang out with either Hoseok, Hana or Jimin. He’d seen you at the florist with Hoseok, smiling down at the orange flowers. Hoseok walked out with a big bouquet, seemingly not for you. How awful. He wanted to get you one too. 

Then one afternoon, as he sorted boxes in the shop, you appeared. Even through the frosted glass, he could tell it was you. You come up to the window, hand over your eyes to try and see inside, and he sees you up close for the first time in a long time. So beautiful. He thinks. Ho wonders what had drawn you to the store, thinking they had chosen a sleek and discreet front. And today, you stepped inside, calling out a melodious hello to the person behind the counter. Jungkook found himself rooted to his spot in one of the empty rooms. It was you, no doubt about it. He carefully peeks out, seeing your side nodding at the staff with a wide smile. You inquired about a tattoo, and he all but geeks about it, wondering how you’d feel about his new ones. For a moment, he thinks you might actually get one. But after not finding anything you liked, the staff told you they do custom designs too. Jungkook nodded along. “Sounds like a great idea.” You smile. “But not today though. I’ll be back with one next time.” He peeked at you leaving, the way you paused at the door to get one last glance of the interior. He dips his head back when you turn back. Then he hears the jingle when you finally leave. So close. So close he could smell the lingering of your perfume. So close yet so far. He wanted to run after you. But he just couldn’t. After the talk with Taehyung, Jungkook made up his mind. He booked a ticket back the next day. Taehyung was right; he was being unfair to you. He’d return for good, face his fears, face everyone. But it was easy to be so confident when you’re miles away. As soon as he stepped foot back into the city, anxiety kicked in. No, he can’t let you see him like this. Not yet. He needs a little more time, just a little bit more. He’ll get the studio running first. And then once business kicks off he’ll do it, he thinks. Or once he gets a proper place to stay at least. This was the goal he set for himself. Jungkook groans, wondering why it was so hard to be a grown man with feelings. He jumps off the tattoo bed, picks up the trash by the door and heads out for a smoke. The sun had set hours ago, and the store remains open, though not taking in any clients yet and with the night shift staff working on the logistics behind the desk. He isn’t a stranger to Jungkook either. “Hey boss,” he calls out when Jungkook appears from the corridor into the main entrance. “I mean…JK.” Jungkook smiles, “I’m not your boss anymore Evan.” “You still are, technically.” He chuckles, going around the counter. Jungkook thinks about it, “Oh yeah I guess so. But please, don’t be so formal.” “Got it.” He nods. “I was hoping to catch you before I leave.” “Something wrong?” “Not at all!” Evan shakes his head, gesturing vaguely, unsure what to do with his hands. “I wanted to thank you for giving me this job. Again.” “Oh no problem at all.” Jungkook shrugs. “Heard from the grapevine that you were looking for something, thought you might like a shorter commute.” “I won’t let you down bo- JK.” “I know you won’t.” Jungkook pats him on the back before stepping out, dumping the trash by the roadside bin, and moving towards the alley for a smoke. Just as he’s about to pull out his lighter, a force from behind knocks into him, pressing one side of his shoulder to the wall. His face just barely spared from the impact from supporting himself with his other arm. He pushes back, only to be grabbed by the front of his hoodie, once again shoved into the wall. “What the fuck!” He yells, wincing at the pain shooting through the back of his head. Hands automatically try to pry the hands off him. It isn’t until he lifts his gaze to get a good look at the assailant, that he stops. His hands linger around the wrists yet his gaze softens. “Hoseok?”

Hoseok’s eyes pierce through his. Confused and a little disoriented, Jungkook can only stare back at him. It’s when he sees the lack of hostility in Jungkook’s eyes, no will to defend himself, that Hoseok loosens his grip. “What are you doing?” He asks. “Me? You’re the one pinning me to the wall.” Jungkook retorts. Hoseok thinks about it for half a second before easing up. Still annoyed, Hoseok ignores the way he rubs the back of his head. They move to the side of the road, taking up space on the curb, and an awkward silence fills the air for much too long. Of course, it’s Hoseok who eventually breaks it. “How are you?” He asks, though his voice shows no concern. Jungkook keeps his gaze on the ground, “Good. You?” “Good.”   “Are you mad at me?” The question was so ridiculous, and topping it off with the innocence in his voice, Hoseok laughs. The sound makes Jungkook relax a little. “Kinda.” Hoseok admits. “What were you thinking?” “Not quite sure what you’re referring to right now.” Jungkook rubs the back of his head. “About running away or about Y/N?” “Both!” He says incredulously. Jungkook huffs out a chuckle. “Where do I start?” ⎼

As the night went on, Hoseok eventually invited Jungkook to stay over at his place for the night. It hurt him a little to find out Jungkook was sleeping on a mattress in a bare second floor of that tattoo parlour. So he drove him over and got noodles for takeout. Jungkook smiles, telling Hoseok how eating supper at his place reminds him of being in Italy, just a little more lavish. “And that idiot never even said a word to us.” Hoseok shakes his head, slurping his noodles. “Not his fault. I told him not to.” Jungkook shrugs. Hoseok watches him down the food, getting flashbacks of their college days. Of course back then, Jungkook would only sit across from him only to swipe every damn food off the plate before Hoseok could get to it. Now, he stares at a different version of the young man. One with table manners, and a little more awareness, now and then wiping the surface of the table when the soup splatters all over. One that pours a drink for Hoseok first before his own. Even setting aside a plastic bag to keep the trash in. “Why didn’t you just come to me?” Jungkook looks up slowly, embarrassed to even lift his gaze. The moment he saw Hoseok’s apartment, he felt like running away. “I couldn’t face you. Any of you.” “What do you mean?” Jungkook gestures all around, an unbelievable look on his face. “Look at this. I don’t have any of this.” “So?” Jungkook struggles to put his thoughts into words. How could Hoseok ever understand when he lives a life like this? He would never know how small it feels to be Jungkook. To have nothing. To have to start all over. “You won’t get it.” He mutters under his breath, suddenly losing interest in the food. “Okay, I’m sorry.” Hoseok says. Jungkook looks up just then, still not used to this. Old them would’ve ended up in an explosive fight. But this Hoseok is calmer, much more mature. Jungkook decides to try again. “I’m⎼ embarrassed.” Hoseok’s brows go up a notch. “Embarrassed about coming back?” “Compared to everyone else, I have nothing. I haven’t done anything special. I’ve lived as a completely different person the last five years, and now I have to come back as me again, but the same me from five years before, while everyone else has moved on and gotten jobs and nice apartments and-” “Hey hey hey…” Hoseok hushes him soothingly. He can tell how bothered Jungkook is by this. You were right after all. From across the table, Hoseok contemplates on his words, not wanting to dismiss his feelings. “Jungkook, you know our priority is your safety. The fact that you don’t have a place to stay, or a job or whatever⎼ those things come last. We’ve been waiting for you.”

“I don’t want to look pathetic.” He mutters quietly. “Look, didn’t you bring me here because you felt sorry for me?” “Well, yes.” Hoseok shrugs. “But-” It didn’t really matter to Jungkook what the reason was. He doesn’t like being on the receiving end of their pitiful looks. Hoseok sighs, recognising the familiar furrow of his brow. “Okay, I’m gonna be a bit harsh now so stay with me, but this is just your ego getting in the way.” Jungkook doesn’t say anything in response. Deep down he knows Hoseok’s right. “We don’t think any less of you Jungkook. And look, we might offer help, yes, but that’s because we’re friends, not because we think you’re pathetic.” Hoseok narrows his eyes, then continues, “Although me personally? Yeah, maybe you are a little pathetic.” Jungkook’s head snaps up at him. “Because how much more pathetic can you get other than stalking the woman you love instead of going up to her?” Jungkook is flushed. As careful as he was, Hoseok did manage to notice him all those months ago. And even today apparently. “I just- I don’t know how-” Jungkook scratches his head. “I can’t just show up at her front door.” “Why not? You already know where she lives.” “I thought…” He sucks in a breath, “I thought I’d get myself on my feet first before meeting her again. I want to have something good to tell her for once, and not just lame stories about a puppy I found.” “Hey she loves that one, she told me about it.” “The point is…I have nothing to offer right now.” “Dude, she doesn’t care.” “But I do!” Jungkook shuts his eyes, bites his bottom lip and utters an apology. After a few deep breaths, he continues, “You’re right, maybe it is just my ego. I don’t know, I want to look put together and…please, just give me time. Don’t tell her yet.” Hoseok looks on calmly. “How long is that going to take you?” “Maybe a month?” He says. “I promise I’ll get my shit together by then.” “A month…” Hoseok mutters, forking at his noodles before staring Jungkook down. “I don’t feel good lying to Y/N about this. The last six years haven’t been easy for her. A month is all I can give you. You have to do it then.” Jungkook perks up, nodding. “I promise. In a month.” ⎼ The engine runs while Hoseok waits in the car outside of the cat hotel. Every few minutes, he finds himself biting back his tongue from blabbing about Jungkook. He wants to tell you so badly, but at the same time, he sympathises with Jungkook. “All done.” You flash the receipt in your hand. “Cats are sorted, I’ll bring them in tomorrow.” “Great,” he smiles, “any more errands?” “That was the last one.” You lean back into the chair with a sigh, having ticked off your entire list. You’ve settled the cats as well as your apartment, which Hana will have the key to. All that’s left is to fly out. “Nervous?” “No…I don’t know, weird.” You say, giggling.

“I-” “But happy weird.” You sigh. “It’s all so exciting.” The drive back to Hana and Jimin’s apartment is quiet, but you think nothing of it, letting the radio fill in the space, every now and then laughing at their silly remarks. You noticed Hoseok’s a little distracted, like he doesn’t even realise you’re in the car, but you figured he might just be tired. At the apartment, Hana is the first to make a toast, to your first solo trip. It’s much too dramatic for your liking, only cause you’re sure you won’t extend it. “But you never know.” She says, shoving her cup to the middle. Jimin joins her. Then Hoseok. “Fine.” You bring your cup to theirs. “Cheers.” Jimin takes a tiny sip before clearing his throat and raising his glass once again. “Now, I’d like to raise a toast, for myself.” Everyone rolls their eyes and he shushes the three of you. “I am now in a committed situationship.” “What’s a situationship?” You look around confused. “It’s when two people are into each other but it’s not that serious and not that casual either. Like a fling I guess.” Hoseok answers way too quickly, earning him a funny look from the others. You save him from further questioning. “Oh, basically like a relationship for people scared of commitment?” “Excuse me,” Jimin’s eyes widen, “we’re just…exploring.” You and Hoseok groan, recognising that lingo. “This isn’t love island, stop saying that.” “Guys chill,” Hana says, “they’re actually kinda cute together. What? He dropped Jimin off after work yesterday. Super cool guy.” “I can’t believe you’re defending Jimin of all people,” you shake your head in disbelief, “and on top of that he’s got you watching that show too.” Hana shrugs, hiding behind her drink, “It’s entertaining.” “Who’s the guy?” Hoseok interrupts. “Woohyuk.” You very nearly spit the drink right into his face. “Woohyuk-” You utter in between coughs. Jimin grins bashfully. “Yeah…I was gonna tell you but then one thing led to the other.” “You know him?” Hana asks. “He’s a friend of Nari’s. But he was-” “He was into Y/N.” Jimin waves it off like it isn’t a big deal. “We met at the mart, then I bumped into him last month at a bar. And we just kind of hit it off.” “Wow.” “It’s no big deal right,” Jimin chuckles nervously, “you weren’t into him anyways. Were you? I mean you have a boyfriend.” A subtle smack under the table from Hana to Jimin. She and Hoseok freeze at his remark. It’s always Jimin, Hoseok thinks. Oddly enough, you don’t notice, or not enough to make you feel a certain way. “I don't care at all.” You say, “This is just surprising. Sorry I didn’t think to set you up sooner, actually.” Jimin grins. “I guess it’s just fate.” Hana scoffs under her breath, “Yeah, you posting stories you know he’ll respond to and removing everyone off your list so that only he can see it,” she exhales, “is fate.” “Don’t be jealous.” They continue to bicker, the least surprising thing of the night. Sometimes you wonder how Hana ended up agreeing to let Jimin in as her roommate. It goes on until their favourite show comes on, to which you and Hoseok then decide it’s time to leave, only to be dragged back down. You give each other a look, surrendering.

While Love Island plays, Jimin and Hana are locked in, fully immersed into the drama. Nothing much can tear them away when their show is on. Mindlessly scrolling, from the corner of your eye, Hoseok gets up and heads for the kitchen. He’s raiding the fridge for something; he doesn’t quite know what he’s looking for, he just needed to get away from there. “You’ve been quiet,” your voice sneaks up behind him, tearing him away, “let me guess, you’re worried about me being on my own.” Hoseok chuckles, facing you fully. “I know you can handle it.” “Aww.” You punch him lightly. “Well why the sour face then? Gonna miss me for three whole weeks?” “Who else will I bug to get lunch with?”

You let him embrace you, long arms wrapping tight around your back while his head rests gingerly against the top of yours. A long exhale leaves your lips, feeling so much lighter than you have in a while. The two of you then lean against the counter, staring at the two unmoving figures. He leans in, “I’m getting bored. Should we make a run for it?” With a gleam in your eye, the two of you start plotting, moving in silence. Knowing how this would go, you conveniently wait for the spiciest part of the show, where the two of them end up screaming at the screen and each other. At that moment, Hoseok and you sneak out the front door, very gently letting go of the handle. Once out, you bolt for the lift with Hoseok behind you. The moment the lift doors close, the two of you break out into laughter at the dramatic escape. Now that it’s just you and Hoseok in the car, it’s harder to ignore the glances. At times, even seeming like he wants to say something, but backs out in the end. “Is something wrong?” “No.” He retorts quickly, “Maybe. I don’t know.” It tickles you whenever he’s all antsy. “What is it?” “Can I ask how you are on the whole Jungkook thing?” He treads carefully, gauging your reaction as he speaks. “I know it’s a sensitive topic. Thought I’d check in, in case you want to talk about it.” “That’s what’s got you in a pickle all evening?” You scoff. “You should’ve just asked me.” “Didn’t want to bring the mood down…” An apologetic smile flashes across his face and you tell him it’s fine. You take a moment to properly think about his question. How are you feeling about Jungkook? “Honestly, a month ago it felt a lot worse. That was pretty obvious, right?” You suck in a breath. “But now, I’m…calm. About it.” “Calm?” You sense a little worry in his tone. “Yeah calm.” You nod. “I mean I’m alright. He’s out there somewhere and he’ll be back when he’s ready. Meanwhile, I’m not going to stop living my life. Because what if he doesn’t actually come back? What then? I should live how I want to live. And then I’ll have no regrets either way.” Hoseok is quiet for a beat. “Never thought I’d hear you say that.” “Hm?” “That you’d be okay if he doesn’t come back.” It’s your turn to go quiet. You hadn’t even realised you said that, it just sort of came out. That’s always been a possibility, and if you prod deeper, you might unleash a whole lot of emotions you’ve suppressed really well. That often happens when you’re alone in bed, staring into the dark, but he doesn’t need to know that. “It’s…definitely something I’m still working on. If it does happen…well, I’ll deal with it then.” You admit, “what’s life without heartbreak, right?” That didn’t even make sense to you, knowing exactly what’s in your heart. As if on autopilot, Hoseok doesn’t even realise he’s driven up to your building. So much left he wanted to talk about, but the word breakup sent him into a silent panic. He needs to tell you about Jungkook–

“But I kinda don’t want to think about that right now.” You say softly, and he hears the unbuckling of your seatbelt. “I think…I’ll focus on myself for now.” He cracks up a smile, gripping the steering wheel tight. “I’m glad to hear that.” “Anyways, thanks for sending me home. I’ll see you soon!” You share a hug before heading inside, waving to him from the lobby till your elevator door shuts. ⎼

The question lingers in the air, hovering above you like a dark cloud. Will you really be okay if Jungkook never comes back. Masking your true feelings is never easy. This trip and everyone’s reaction towards it has felt more like it was for them to believe you’re finally moving on. But are you? Maybe you were just telling people what they wanted to hear. Although it wasn’t a lie when you told Hoseok you were calm. You were at the time. If he doesn’t come back, he doesn’t come back, true. But its implication is what your heart isn’t ready to handle yet. It would mean the end of your relationship, something you both fought hard for. Something you spent the last five years desperately clinging on to. The only thing that made you feel like there was light at the end of the tunnel. The future with him you spent years planning sent up in flames. You had wanted Jungkook to be a part of the rest of your life. And you still do. “This’ll just be our secret,” you whisper to Jiji who’s rolled into a ball in your arms, “but I’m never giving up on him. And I’m never going to stop loving him.”

⎼

“She’s leaving on Friday.” Jungkook pauses halfway, drinks in hand, snuck from the minibar below. The second floor was much nicer than Hoseok imagined. It’s clean and empty, save for the makeshift mattress next to him and Jungkook’s bags. The walls have a fresh coat of paint, and a diffuser on the floor across the room gives the place a nice scent. If he tidied up the place, it would make a decent living space. “To?” Jungkook sits cross-legged, across from him. “Japan. For work.” Hoseok says. “I should’ve told you this before. But I wanted to be sure before saying anything.” “Be sure about what?” “About her feelings.” He takes a breath, wishing Jungkook wouldn’t look at him with such hopeful eyes. “You should know, this is the first time she’s actually doing something out of her comfort zone. She’s been stuck in her bubble for so long, turned down multiple promotions till this one came around.” Jungkook realises where this is going. “Is it because of me?” Hoseok tears away from his eyes. “Perhaps. When we found out you weren’t coming back, everything was just in limbo - we didn’t really know how to help her. And when she told us about the offer, well, we thought it’d be great for her to do it just to give her a little push.” Jungkook nods in understanding, “You guys wanted her to move on.” “Not in that way Jungkook,” Hoseok thinks about his words, “we could tell she needed a change. Of course I didn’t know back then…if I’d known I wouldn’t have-” “You guys did the right thing.” Jungkook stops him, “I would’ve done the same.” “She’ll be away for three weeks.” Hoseok says. “But…she might extend the trip and if that happens⎼ it’ll be months.” A lump forms in Jungkook’s throat. “Months?” “Yeah. So I don’t know, I think you should⎼ just tell the truth.”

“What if that stops her?” Hoseok stares at him. “Stops her from what?” “From doing the trip.” Jungkook says in quiet desperation. “What if she decides not to go through with it once she knows I’m here?” Hoseok takes a deep breath. He hadn’t thought of that and it’s a valid question. It’s entirely possible you would go back on your decision. Groaning in frustration, he lets his head drop against the wall. “So? Are you just going to let her go?” “If it’s only for a couple of weeks…I think I owe it to her.” Jungkook says. “She would’ve never taken the offer if I was back.” “That’s a good point.” Hoseok sighs, brows creasing as he looks at Jungkook. “You guys are very frustrating.” Jungkook chuckles, agreeing himself. “It’s my fault.” “Yeah mostly.” Hoseok laughs, playfully slapping Jungkook’s shoulder. When their laughter dies down, Jungkook looks off to the side where his belongings lay neatly by the window, next to a mattress. “I know I said a month,” he gets up, pulling something from under his bag, what looked like a piece of cardboard from afar. Settling in front of Hoseok again, he turns it over and gleefully watches a smile spread over the older man’s face. “I got certified today, I’m officially a licensed tattooist.” “It’s crazy, the first thought that ran through my mind was, I gotta tell Y/N.” Jungkook continues, “I wanted to tell her about it, see the proud look on her face. I wanted to celebrate with her.” “That’s amazing Jungkook.” Hoseok squeezes his hand, reaching for the cert to get a closer look. “She’ll be so happy for you.” “I was actually going to call you earlier, to tell you I’m gonna surprise her next week,” he says, carefully placing the certificate down as Hoseok listens quietly, “but of course this had to happen.” “What made you change your mind?” “Like I said, she was the first thing that came to mind. The only person I wanted to talk to. And I thought about what you said, that it was all about my ego. You’re right, I just didn’t want to look like a loser. But at the end of the day, I think the real loser is the person who had his happiness within reach, only to deliberately distance himself from it just to save face. Still me, of course. I felt so happy earlier, but then realised it meant nothing because I didn’t have her with me.” Jungkook lifts his gaze to Hoseok fondly looking at him. Hoseok reaches out to Jungkook’s head, lovingly ruffling his hair. “So mature now.” “Still troublesome though, right?” He chuckles. “Afraid that’ll be harder to grow out of.” Hoseok sighs, letting the heaviness settle in between them. The tension seeping through Jungkook is contagious. “You know…I think it’s worth a shot. Come to the airport on Friday.” “I can’t.” “I’ll be there.” Hoseok wraps his fingers around Jungkook’s. “We’ll do it together.” “Friday night, 9PM.” Hoseok says pointedly. “You have 48 hours to make your decision.” Jungkook nods. “You should get a proper bed…” “Hyung.” ⎼ The airport has never felt bigger, its grandness swallowing you whole. Suddenly, you can’t read the signs or find your way, Hana having to point things out to you. Goosebumps appear over your skin each time you hear an announcement. 

“Cold feet?” Jimin teases, nudging his elbow into you. “Cold feet, cold fingers, cold everything.” You blow into your hands as if it’s a freezing winter morning. They giggle, Hana offering to warm you up with a hug. Your luggage has been checked in, and with two hours till your flight departs, the entrance into departure awaits ahead. “Alright guys,” you smile, “I’ll see you in three weeks.” They take turns hugging you goodbye. Even though you continuously reiterate that it would only be three weeks, it feels odd to be leaving on your own, the thought eventually making you tear up. “You never know what will happen right?” Jimin says as he pulls away. Hoseok watches on fondly, squeezing your face in his palms. He’d disappeared for a period of time while you got your bag checked, then appeared again soon after. You assumed it’s work that’s keeping him busy and tense. His hug feels a little tighter and he keeps you in his arms a little longer. “Call me if you need anything.” You nod, patting him on the back, as if he’s the one that needs reassuring. “I will. Don’t worry.” They stand in a line, like parents sending their child off, as you walk up to security. Fortunately, the line moves rather quickly. You make it past the final pat down and grab all your belongings, then turning around for one last wave before disappearing into departure. “It’s only three weeks,” you say again, holding back tears. “What’s wrong with you?” Jimin smacks Hoseok’s arm as soon as you’re gone, making him jump. “Yeah, why does it feel like you don’t want her to go?” Hana squints, giving him a once over, “And you keep looking around…what’s happening?” Hoseok wipes the sweat off his forehead and heaves out an exhale, burning on the inside. “I have to tell you guys something.” ⎼

2 weeks later The air is cool and crisp, the sun shines brightly in the sky, the sounds of people going about their daily lives float around you. It has been a whirlwind of the first two weeks, meeting investors, visiting the new site and reporting back to the headquarters back in Korea. Fortunately, one of your colleagues had also been sent along to keep you company. And sane. You’ve only managed to find some time to breathe this week, the third week. Still, you find yourself back at the arts centre location; perched in the middle of a busy city. The sun kisses your skin as you walk down the street, looking for a nice place for lunch. As if on cue, your phone vibrates and you eagerly swipe across the screen. “Hey!” “What’s up stranger?” Hoseok calls out on the other end. While you tried to be responsive in the group chat, some days were a little too busy. But Hoseok never fails to check in every once in a while. “Enjoying my free day. Missed me huh?” “Barely noticed you were gone.” He chuckles. “How’s the work coming along?” “Busier than I thought it’d be.” You admit, stopping in your tracks when you find a random ramen stall in an alley, where everyone says the best foods are. “We’re basically starting from the ground up. There were some delays and renovations have only just started.” “Oof,” he sucks in a breath, “no wonder they wanted you there long term.” “Yeah,” you sigh, “miss home though. Miss you guys.” “We miss you too.” Hoseok says, “you’ve been well? Eating well?” “Oh I’m eating very well,” you laugh and hear him chuckle on the line. There’s a little pause before you continue, “I like it here Hoseok. You guys were right, being in a new environment and doing new things was exactly what I needed. I feel a lot lighter.” You can almost imagine his smile, “I’m glad to hear that Y/N.” “Might be a bit premature but… maybe an extended stay won’t be so bad afterall.” ⎻

Jungkook feels sick. Sick to his stomach. It feels like someone’s just reached into his chest and squeezed the air out of his lungs. When he failed to show up at the airport, he had already expected to see Hoseok that night. 

Standing at the top of the stairs, right at the entrance of Jungkook’s room. Jungkook looks up from where he’s playing the guitar, ready for a good lecture. Instead, Hoseok asks calmly, “Couldn’t do it huh?” Jungkook shakes his head, settling the guitar down next to him. “Sorry…” “I figured.” Hoseok shrugs, sitting near the door, across from Jungkook. “Could’ve at least picked up my calls.” “Didn’t mean to ignore you either. Just didn’t know what to say.” Jungkook had been there, standing rooted at the entrance of the airport contemplating his decision. Is he really doing this? At an airport? Just when you’ve decided to do something different in your life? He watched when everyone hugged you goodbye, noticing how your fingers keep fidgeting, a sign that you’re nervous. “ I couldn’t.” Jungkook said quietly. Hoseok leaned back, resting an arm on his knee. “Probably was a terrible idea anyway.” This time round, Hoseok is less calm. He all but barges into the shop, dragging Jungkook by the arm onto the couch in the waiting area. Running a hand through his hair, he turns to Jungkook with a flurried look. Seeing him so anxious puts Jungkook on edge. “What happened?” “You have to tell her now.” “Is she back already?” Jungkook looks at his phone, “It’s only Thursday. Isn’t she back next Monday?” Hoseok plops down right next to him, “I just spoke with her over the phone.” “And?” “She’s seriously loving it there.” Hoseok states, bringing a smile to Jungkook’s face. “That’s great.” “No it’s not.” Hoseok frowns, leaning forward, elbows on his knees. “She’s extending her stay.” That’s when his heart sinks. It was a possibility, he’d known that. But he’d been praying for you to return next week, and that’s when he was going to surprise you. Finally see you again, apologise for what’s happened, be with you again. “You’re joking right?” “She told me herself.” Hoseok says gently, “She loves it there.” Jungkook paces around the room. Behind the counter, a worried Evan overhears the entire conversation while he quietly unpacks a bunch of tools. “I knew this would happen,” Hoseok sighs, shaking his head, “when we had that talk before she left, she gave me the vibes that she was ready to move on from the life she’s lived here.” “God, why’d you guys have to convince her to go?” Jungkook groans.

“Hey, we wouldn’t have done that if you had just showed up like you promised her you would.” The words sting, he did promise you, and he let you down. Jungkook turns back to Hoseok, “Can you convince her to come back?” “And when she does, are you going to do anything about it?” Hoseok asks, “Or just run and hide again when the time comes?” Lowering his gaze, Jungkook opens his mouth to say something then shuts it again. “I’m…” “Yeah that’s what I thought.” Hoseok composes himself, realising the hurt in Jungkook’s eyes. “Sorry, got possessed by my old self there.” Jungkook rests on one of the unopened boxes in front of the counter. “It’s fine you’re right anyways…” He mutters softly. Hoseok scoots forward in his seat, taking on a serious tone, “If you don’t do something about this, you’re going to lose her. It’s been three weeks and she says she feels like a whole new person. Don’t you think after six months, she’ll have moved on? Think about it, that’s six months, on top of the years she’s spent waiting for you. Half of that time it was one-sided.” “It was never one-sided,” Jungkook huffs, “I love her.” “Well you’re not showing it.” Hoseok softens his gaze, “I know I’m being harsh, but I really want the best for both of you. If you still value this relationship, act on it. Otherwise, as her friend too, I think I’d rather she be with someone who can muster up the courage to actually be with her.” Jungkook’s head starts pounding with regret and despair and frustration. Behind him, Evan lays down the tools he’d been wiping down. “JK, I think he’s right.” This is the part when he runs. That would be much easier, wouldn’t it? He’d let you live your life, a happier one without constantly chasing after his shadow. And he’d go back to Italy, stay with Taehyung till he finds his own place. Hoseok stands from his seat, pulling something out of his pocket. It snaps Jungkook out of his thoughts. He stares at the flight ticket.  “This might be your last chance.” –

Hana had recommended the aquarium in Okinawa as one of her must go locations; she’d been there once on a trip and marveled about it. So on Saturday, you find yourself walking through the massive aquarium, gawking at its massive displays and the sea animals all around. Hana liked your story.

When you told her about today, she was more than excited. This morning even asking for your live location just so she knows when you’ve reached. You find a space among the hoards of people standing in front of the largest display they have, gaping in awe as a beautiful whale shark swims past, and everyone rushes to snap a picture. In hindsight, maybe the weekend wasn’t a good time to visit. You squeeze past the crowd, sucking in a breath of relief when you make it out. You look at the visitor map, and continue your tour through their coral reefs and deep sea exhibitions. Realising they would be feeding the sharks soon, you check the map again and decide to head back to the first display. It’s a short walk when you know your way around. Ten minutes early and the crowd is already in place, so you opt to stand further back, where it’s easier to breathe. Plus, with such a huge tank, it’s hard to miss much. You stand there, mesmerised by the enormity of it all, finding peace as you watch the fishes swim about. It isn’t until you feel something tugging on your jeans that you break away. It’s a little girl. You stare at her for a moment, unsure of what was going on. She smiles, and beckons for you to follow her. You don’t budge, confused. “Do you need help?” You ask, hoping she’d understand your Japanese. She comes back to your side, “Come with me!” She grins. You look around for her parents or guardian, but no one else seems to mind this little child. Where did she come from and what does she want with you? What if this was one of those scams you always see online? “Where are your parents?” She sighs dramatically, “I want to show you something!”

“No, sorry I⎼ hey!” Confidently slipping her hand into yours, she tugs you along despite your resistance. She takes quick steps and you trail behind, hand still clutched in hers. She takes you to an area surrounded by glass displays, with several paths leading to different areas of the aquarium. Leading you right in the middle of the circle with a concave dome display above, and a floor that lights up when you step on the tiles, she finally lets go and runs off down one of the paths. “Wait!” But she was gone. That was weird, you think. You figure she was just being silly, and you had fallen for her idea of a joke. No one else seems to notice though, absorbed by the large tanks all over. You laugh at yourself, shaking your head as you turn back around. Swirling on your feet, someone stands in your path. Forget-me-nots staring at you in the face, tattooed fingers wrapping round the bottom of the bouquet. “Y/N.” Your entire body freezes. That voice. His voice reaches you before you can even raise your head, eyes fixated on the flowers, processing what could possibly be happening. Familiar, yet different. A huff of air comes out of you, convincing yourself your mind is playing tricks on you. Then you finally lift your gaze. And those wide, sparkly eyes. They bore into yours, and you find yourself unable to tear away. Taking cautious steps, he gets closer till you're breathing in his scent, one you recognise, filling your mind with the memories you hold dear to your heart.

Your surroundings blend into a blur, voices around you fizzling to a soft buzz. Bringing his hand up to your face, his knuckles gently graze against your cheek. So gentle, you barely feel it. “Hi.” He says, eyes wide, chewing on his bottom lip. Hearing this voice again for the first time in six years. It feels unreal, like a dream. It would be a cruel one if it was, allowing you to come so close. So close you can even touch– you gasp. “It’s really you.” He leans into your touch, fingers gently wrapping around your wrist. “It’s me.” Around you, everyone else goes about their day without much care. Blue lights cast moving shadows over your forms, his face occasionally disappearing in the shadows. A little closer, you feel his hands come up your sides as he slowly wraps around you. Finally tearing your eyes away, you let him embrace you, resting your head against his chest, arms around his middle. His head rests against yours, and you feel your body melt into his, fitting perfectly against each other. ⎼

The aquarium extends towards a flower park, just a couple of minutes away. Even from afar, you spot the colourful flowers and greenery, meticulously architectured into a beautiful garden exhibiting the tropical flowers they house. It’s like something out of a fairytale, with flower lined paths, walking through canopies surrounded with plants wrapped around its structures, and a fairytale-like pond on one side of the park with water lilies, duckweed, and other tropical plants. You find yourselves on a bench near the edges of the park, where you get a great view of the sea and open waters. Side by side, silent for the last twenty minutes, neither one of you knowing what to say. In your hands, you hold a picture of the two of you, snapped by one of the staff members. They go around offering to take pictures for a fee. Neither one of you had asked for one, but the young woman insisted. It was a beautiful one. Side by side, notably awkward, with the flowers now in your arms. Jungkook’s arm very lightly around your waist, and you pressed to his side. Both beaming against the blue backdrop. He glances at the picture, then up at your side profile, admiring your features. Feeling his eyes on you, you begin to heat up. It almost feels like a first date. Both awkward, both shy. “How…how’ve you been?” Jungkook finally asks. You turn to him and huff out a chuckle. “I’ve been good. You?”

He shrugs, wearing an embarrassed smile on his face. “I’m alright.” You both stare at each other, waiting for someone to say something. Eventually, you break into giddy laughter. “What are you doing here Jungkook?” Behind a smile, he ignores the racing of his heart at the first time he’s heard you say his name in years. You’re giggling and there’s a sparkle in your eyes. He hoped you wouldn’t be mad, that you wouldn’t greet him with indifference or annoyance that he had come and disturbed your peace somehow. But looking at you now, he doesn’t know why he ever thought you would be. You’ve kept your hair long, wearing a brighter shade of lip colour, eyeliner, but everything else is just as he remembers. “I’m here for you.” He says, feeling himself burn when you soften your gaze, then you tear away, unable to hide your happiness. Cute. “You must have a lot of questions, don’t you?” You chuckle. “I do have a few, yeah.” Jungkook laughs nervously, rubbing his palms against his thighs. “I don’t even know where to begin.” “Hey,” you call out, voice as sweet as honey, “relax. It’s just me, you can talk to me.” Amazed by how the simple sound of your voice calms him down, Jungkook huffs out a laugh. He can’t even remember the script he’d mentally prepared on the flight here. Where would he start? There’s just so many things he wanted to tell you. “First of all, I um…I want to apologise to you.” You watch him switch to a serious tone, angling his body slightly more towards you. “I was selfish. I should’ve just come back like I promised all those years ago. But instead I…” “It’s not your fault,” you reassure him, “I wanted you to have that choice. It’s not selfish at all.” “But it was, kind of.” He continues, “I know you think I was away but…I stuck around for a bit. Namjoon probably told you I left, because I told him that. I was…kind of struggling to accept that everyone has grown so much over the last six years. I’m sure you knew, that’s why you told Namjoon to let me decide, right?” You nod as you listen. “I stayed for a bit and kept watch. I saw how happy you were, with your job, your friends. I know Hoseok took good care of you…I didn’t want to ruin all of that. Eventually, I did leave the country though. I’ve been in Italy with Taehyung for about a month or so. And I came back weeks ago wanting to see you but still…I couldn’t.” Letting his words sink in, you sit quietly, thinking about how he’d been so close the entire time. It suddenly made sense, why you constantly felt someone’s presence around you. Jungkook notices your distant stare. “Are you upset?” “No.” You look back at him, smiling. “But I don’t understand why you thought you’d ruin things…shouldn’t you let me decide that? After all, I waited all these years, why would I not want you back?” He starts to sweat, swallowing the lump in his throat but your gaze remains soft. “I…didn’t want to be a burden.” He admits. “I came back with only the clothes in my luggage. No fancy job, apartment…it felt a little embarrassing to show up like that in front of everyone. I didn’t want you or anyone to have to bend over backwards and make space for me or help me with a job–” “Why not?” “Well, because.” Jungkook shrugs, “it’s embarrassing.” Jungkook looks towards the sea, feeling the breeze in his hair. Scooting closer, you brush the parts of his hair messed up by the wind, tucking it gingerly behind his ear. You never imagined he would keep his hair long. Up close, you study his face, looking at his new piercings. After a while, he turns to you, and you smile. “Even after all these years, you still haven’t learned it’s okay to ask for help.” “I know, it’s stupid.” Jungkook chuckles. “So…what made you decide to show up now?”

“I didn’t want to lose you.” He says truthfully. “I was trying to create the best version of myself for you. In that process I realised that even if I did have a fancy job, and lots of money, a luxurious apartment…none of that would matter if I didn’t have you. In fact, it wouldn’t matter if I didn’t have all that, because I’d have you.” “I heard that you were thinking of extending your stay. And I don’t know if I can bear to be apart for much longer. And maybe this is incredibly selfish of me to do so knowing this is your life and your career. But I want you to know that I’m here and that I love you. And I don’t think I could wait that long and risk losing you forever.” “Losing me?” “You were starting to move on, weren’t you?” Jungkook says, “And I’m not saying you can’t, obviously it’s your choice and I would never want to hold you back and I’ll always support you–” He gets cut off when you laugh, covering your mouth with an apologetic look when he stares at you in confusion. “Did Hoseok tell you that?” “Yes.” Giggling, you place a hand on his thigh, “Jungkook, I’m meant to fly home this weekend anyways. Our operations got pushed back a couple of months, so even if I did accept it, it’s not going to be immediate. One or two months at least. Did Hoseok not tell you that part?” Jungkook blinks, processing what you’ve just said. He shuts his eyes in disbelief. “That idiot. He made it seem like you weren’t coming back at all.” You laugh again, seeing his ears go red. “So he knew all along?” Jungkook runs his hand through his hair, exhaling the load off his shoulders. “He found out just before you flew out. I told him not to tell you.” The way he was acting suddenly made more sense now. The hesitation, his questions. He was looking out for Jungkook. You should’ve known. “I see.” “Oh well, regardless,” Jungkook shrugs, “whether you’re staying or going home, it doesn’t change how I feel.” Your hands graze against each other, his pinky finger hooking onto yours playfully. Your cheeks start to hurt from the constant smiling, but you can’t seem to stop. “Where are you staying?” You ask after a quiet moment. “Oh,” Jungkook purses his lips, scratching the back of his head, only now realising that he never booked a room. “I don’t know. Hadn’t thought that far.” You laugh again, and Jungkook feels his heart swelling with emotions. I love you so much. He thinks. ⎼

1 week later, back in Korea Every time your bodies come into contact, the touch of your hands or an accidental brush of a shoulder, you’d both pull away in surprise before laughing awkwardly at your reactions. It’s taking a little while getting used to being in each other’s presence again. Even when you first offered your place up to him, he refused, not wanting to invade your space. You felt that was weird considering it was never a problem before. But now you realise he was probably trying to avoid such awkwardness. Still, most of the time it isn’t so bad. Jungkook lies on the couch, where he prefers to sleep, and you see Cream perched on top of him, waiting for him to wake up. Stifling a giggle, you quietly pad towards the kitchen for some tea. After living alone for so long, it was a little challenging to remember not to make too much noise in the early mornings. Despite your efforts, he would always start to stir just before nine; back then, he would have never got up before noon. From where you are, you hear the sound of him shuffling about. Then you see his arms extend past the arm of the couch as he stretches, huffing out an exhale. And Cream jumps off. 

Just as your water starts to boil, Jungkook leaves his nest, messy hair and full sleeve on display, something you still haven’t gotten used to yet. He’s also much bigger than before. “Morning.” He mumbles. You try not to stare as he goes straight for a glass of cool water before trotting off to the bathroom. No hug or kiss, no warmth of his skin against yours. But you don’t blame him. You’ve lived separately for years, it’s only natural to ease into being a couple again. Right now, it just feels like you have a roommate who happens to be your boyfriend. Each morning he’d head down to the tattoo studio. It was truly a surprise when he brought you there, hand in hand, as you stared at the same store front of the shop you’d stepped into previously. Not only was he working there, he’s the co-owner and a tattoo artist. “What do you think?” Like a child holding himself back from getting too excited, he gauged your reaction, wide eyes watching you expectantly. “Jungkook, this is amazing!” Your arms wrapped around his neck instantly, kissing him on the cheek. “I’m glad. I really wanted to share this with you.” Snaking your hands around his middle like you used to, you look up at him. “I’m so proud of you.” He’d been busy with the opening since then. You’ve been spending a couple of hours each day helping him sort out the store, even though he tells you not to. Occasionally, he’d come up to you from the back, a quick hug and peck to your cheek. You don’t say it, but you live for those little moments when you feel like the old you again. When opening day comes, it’s a small celebration with friends and staff. There were a couple of flower wreaths outside the store, one of it from your group of friends, wishing him luck. Their official site and Instagram was launched, and the studio was now in full operation. As you watch him float around the room, speaking to friends and others in the tattoo business that have come down to support him, you wonder why he ever thought he had nothing to offer. He has grown over the years; you see it in the way he speaks, his manners, body language. He’s definitely matured, though you still catch glimpses of the old, naive Jungkook sometimes when he smiles. Like now, as he stands across the room, with champagne is his hand, his eyes dart around till they land on yours. Your breath catches in your throat when he walks over, looking handsome in a button down shirt. “All good?” You ask, and he heaves out a satisfied breath. “Yeah.” He grins, and you see it again, the familiar Jungkook you knew. “I’m happy you’re here.” Your heart melts at his sudden confession. Jungkook leans in, stealing a quick kiss with his soft lips to yours. The first actual kiss since you’ve reunited, and you can tell even he was flustered by his sudden act. “I’m happy to be here.” You say, “with you.” – “Things are just a little awkward.” You admit to Hana, sitting in the cafeteria of her office building. “You’ve just been separated too long,” she munches on her food, “it’s normal, isn’t it?” “Is this how people doing long distance feel?” She scoffs, giving you a look. “I wouldn’t even call it long distance. You were literally no contact for a good period of time. You didn’t even get to see each other.” “I know–” “And then bam he comes back with tattoos all over his arm, and all muscle-ly, with long hair– what?” You laugh at the way she describes him with so much horror on her face. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.” “It’s different, that’s all I’m saying.” She raises her palms. 

A smug smile creeps its way to your face. “I like it.” “Ew. Stop ovulating all over my salad.” Shifting her bowl closer, you slap her arm and shush her. “Anyways, what are you gonna do about Japan? Have you decided?” – “I don’t know.” Jungkook grumbles, leaning against Jimin’s desk, watching him measure some fabric. “I don’t want to stop her from doing what she wants, she’s been doing that for the last six years.” “Exactly.” Jimin says, hooking the measuring tape over his shoulders and tapping Jungkook’s head with his pen. “Don’t hold her back.” “So I just let her go?” Jungkook asks, “I don’t want to do that either.” “Might be good, maybe then you’ll know how it feels to be abandoned.” “Hey,” Jungkook frowns, “I didn’t abandon her…not intentionally at least…” “Oh shut up.” Jimin scowls. “You were on holiday in Italy while she was rotting her life away waiting for you.” Jungkook raises a brow, “Are you just mad I went to Italy without you?” “Yes.” –

3 weeks later Absentmindedly walking down the street after lunch with Jimin, you drop by to see Mdm Lee who greets you as warmly as ever. As soon as she sets her eyes on you, she touches your arm gently. “You took too long.” She says, “I sold it.” “Oh that’s fine!” You reassure her, looking at some of her newer items. She stares at you for a while, a smile gradually growing on her face. “It was a young man.” She says almost proudly. You raise your brows. “Very handsome young man. Says it’s for his girlfriend.” She looks into the distance, smiling as she recalls the sale. “I was going to sell it of course but…he convinced me.” “Guess it wasn’t meant to be after all.” You tease, and she simply hums, a glint of mischief in her eyes. She then waves at you, beckoning you to follow her inside, excitement in her ways. When you do, she leads you to a box which opens up to a beautiful antique tea set. “Thought you might want to see this. Vintage set, direct from Japan.” “Japan huh?” Scoffing at the coincidence, you can only consider this a reminder from the universe. The deadline to confirm your interest is coming up in two days. While you’d previously decided to take up the offer, you can’t help but to wonder where Jungkook would fit in all of this. Yes, this would be a great opportunity for you. But you’ve also been waiting years for him to be back, only to leave for months on end? Avoiding the topic altogether, so as not to distract him from his new studio, you realise now that maybe a conversation is due. As you walk up the street to your building, you spot Jungkook standing outside, leaning against the wall. The image brings you flashbacks of when he would pick you up late at night on his bike, and you smile like an idiot when he spots you. “Why are you out here?” You ask. He has the spare key to your place. He grins, hand looking for yours. “Can I take you out tonight?” “Oh.” Your hands start to clam up, feeling butterflies in your tummy. “Okay. Yes.” Jungkook plants a kiss on your forehead before leaving, saying he’ll send a car for you. Heart beating faster than usual, your eyes scan the selection of clothes in your wardrobe, fretting over what to wear. With Hana on video call on your nightstand, you hold up a bunch of dresses you’ve left to collect dust over the years. 

You don’t want to look like you’re trying too hard but at the same time not like you don’t care at all. In the end, you opt for a sleek looking navy blue dress; spaghetti straps, nice and flowy but also hugs all the right places. Hana approves it, and you throw it on your bed before hopping into the shower with 1.5 hours to go. A car waits for you at the specific time Jungkook told you to be down. It takes you through the city towards a route you recognise, one you’ve practically memorised. The beach comes into view and up ahead, you spot Jungkook, waiting by the drop off. Your heart practically leaps when you see him. As you thank the driver and exit when he opens the door for you, extending a hand, you feel the nervousness bubbling inside you as if it were your first date with him. Eyes roaming down your outfit, he gets lost in your eyes for a beat before snapping himself back. “You look so beautiful.” “You too.” You reply without thinking, “I mean–” “I am quite beautiful.” He grins, allowing you to hook your arm around his. Thankfully, Jungkook had made a reservation, so you were directed past the queue. When it opened a year ago, you had made a note to try it out, but never got to it. Jungkook, upon returning weeks ago, had started looking for a nice place when he stumbled upon this one. It was almost too perfect. The table you were assigned was one of the nicer ones, right by the view of the beach, where it also extends into a small section down some steps for people to dance, a live band playing. “Kinda nervous,” you admit, conscious of your environment, “haven’t done this in a while.” Jungkook raises his brow. “Really? No dates in six years?” “Nope. Was waiting for the right one to ask me.” He smiles at your response. “What about you?” “Oh tons.” He says, brows furrowing. “All with Jaemin though.” Chuckling, a bit of your drink spills when you bring it to your mouth. 

Jungkook can’t help but to stare, taking in your features and ingraining it into his memory. Before you were pretty, but now, he would describe you as stunning. He could swear a bunch of heads turned as you walked in earlier, rightfully so. Conscious of his gaze, you tuck your hair behind your ears. Realising this, Jungkook slides his hand across and offers his palm. Your hand instinctively finds his, and his thumb runs along the back of your hand. “Thank you, for waiting all this time.” You think you see his eyes gloss a little, but he quickly blinks them away. “We made a promise, didn’t we?” Jungkook nods, but then shrugs, shoulders deflating. “I might’ve broken some promises…” “Oh really? I hadn’t noticed.” You pretend to think. He leans in, whispering. “Definitely owe you a couple of letters.” “Right,” you snap your fingers, “I knew I was missing a few.” Breaking into giggles, the tension between you slowly seeps away. Before it felt like there was a barrier separating you, like speaking through a closed door. Now, the door’s open. And he’s stepped inside, holding his hand out to you. “Believe me, your letters meant everything to me.” He tries to explain, “But after a while I just felt so overwhelmed and maybe a little left out. It’s like watching you guys thrive while I was just in the audience. Plus with all the restrictions I couldn’t tell you a lot of stuff that went down and it got harder and harder to actually have anything to write.” “I’m really sorry.” You squeeze his hand. “I hate that it made you feel like that.” “No it’s fine.” Jungkook says, then catches himself and laughs, “Well clearly it wasn’t fine but– I’m just glad we can talk about it now.”

“And just in case you forget. Because you always do. You can talk to me about anything.” You emphasise, “I’m here for you.” Jungkook's chest feels lighter, like a harsh pressure's been lifted. How easily you have that effect on him. 

“The last letter you wrote is my favourite.” He suddenly confesses. “No reason in particular, but to think you wrote that knowing you wouldn't get a response, and that too, written so beautifully, showed me so much kindness. It’s just the essence of who you are and reminds me of why I love you so much.” 

His thoughts leave you speechless. “Jungkook…”

He grins, looking at your hands when he gets embarrassed.

The food arrives a minute later, cutting the moment short. As you dig into the meal, Jungkook takes the opportunity to finally be able to tell you what went on while he was away. You found out he worked an office job as a data analyst, which he hated terribly because of how mundane it was. He's learned to cook actual dishes now and can't wait to make a meal for you. He learnt to tattoo over there but because it was under a fake identity, he had to re-do the certification when he came back. His enthusiasm shows, having waited so long to finally be able to talk about it. Of course, you were the only one he ever wanted to talk to. As you take turns sharing, you giving Jungkook a rundown of what he’d missed since the last letter, the rest of dinner breezes by. And without realising, two hours have gone. Soon, seats were emptying and the crowd had slowed down. The loud conversations over the music from other tables have mellowed down into a soft buzz. Once your meals are done, and the waiter's removed your finished desserts, the two of you sit in comfortable silence for a minute, listening to the live band. 

Your eyes follow the couples dancing in the open area, existing in their own little worlds, moving to their own rhythm. 

“Shall we?” Jungkook looks at them, then to you, raising his brows.

He didn’t have to ask twice. Hand in his, Jungkook leads you to an empty spot, resting your arms around his neck while his goes around your waist. The band plays a slow beat as you sway in his arms, looking up at him, admiring his features. 

“Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?” He asks.

Your laugh reverberates against him. “You look very handsome yourself.” “Do I?” A cheeky grin looks back at you. Jungkook has always been good-looking, no doubt about that. But it seems like time is only working to his advantage. Because he’s even more attractive than before. While a bit of his boyish charm remains, he’s much manlier now, and you’re not complaining. Your eyes trail over his now rolled up sleeves and undone top button. His hair, which you’re jealous of, curls slightly at the ends, falling over the front of his face till you brush them aside, tucking the strands behind his ear, something you’ve grown to like doing he realises.

“Really feeling the hair huh?” You nod, “Very sexy.” 

His eyes widen in surprise at your bold comment, after weeks of hiding behind shy smiles. Chewing your bottom lip as you tear your eyes away before your cheeks burn any more than they already are, Jungkook simply chuckles at your reaction. 

“Things have been awkward between us haven’t they?” Jungkook comments, then laughs at himself. “Sorry. It’s just been too long since I had someone to be affectionate with.” “Is that why you don’t kiss me in the mornings anymore?” He flinches his head back in surprise. Jungkook hadn’t realised that it bothered you. At his reaction, you shake your head, as if saying it’s not that big of a deal. “It’s just that you used to hug me or…something.” “Oh baby,” he kisses your forehead, “I’m sorry.” “It’s fine.” You shrug it off but he sees right through you. “I thought maybe you just…felt weird being around me again– which is fair, I get it. We’ve only been together again for a couple of weeks.” “Why didn’t you say anything?” “I didn’t want to pressure you!” You whine. He loves it. “Plus you’re always running to the bathroom before I can even open my mouth.” “Wait, you think I sprint to the toilet every time because I feel weird around you?” Jungkook asks with an amused grin. You nod. “Baby, I do that because I get hard every morning and I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” Heat creeps up your neck and all the way to your face. Jungkook chuckles when you try to fit the upturn of the corners of your lips. “Oh.” “Yeah.” He laughs when you try to avert your gaze. “Doesn’t help when you have your ass cheeks hanging out of your shorts while you make tea.” You’re starting to sweat now, fanning yourself with your hands. “Didn’t think you noticed.” “I definitely noticed.” Jungkook tilts his head, lowering his eyes to meet yours. “Well okay then.” You fight a smile till he starts laughing, making you break. Jungkook sighs, letting your head rest on his chest. “Don’t take it the wrong way, sometimes I genuinely get surprised when someone else is within reach, especially when that someone is you.” “It’s alright, took me a while too.” Admittedly, still getting butterflies when your fingers brush. “Is it still awkward for you now?” You don’t even realise what you do to him when you tilt your head like that, piercing his soul with your entrancing eyes. With a bat of your eyelashes, you’ve got him wrapped around your finger. Pulling himself together, Jungkook’s fingers move over your waist, holding you tight like you would disappear if he didn’t. The move makes your heart flutter. “Now, it’s comfortable.” Relieved, you let your body relax against his, slipping your arms under his. “Good.” You stay that way for a moment, letting your bodies sway with the music. “I've missed this,” he says, and you raise your brows in question, “having you in my arms.” Insides fluttering, Jungkook can't seem to tear his eyes away from yours. “And I’ve missed you.” Your words have a certain poignant to it, behind your confession holding months and years of repressed emotions. Like you’ve held it back for as long as you could. He holds you closer. “I’m really happy you’re back, Jungkook. I’m happy you’re here with me.” Against his chest, you hear him swallow, heart beating a faster rhythm. “Can I ask you something?’ You ask quietly and he hums. “Did you really think I was happy before you showed up? “It seemed that way.” He admits, recalling the times he waited in hiding. “Every time I saw you, you were smiling or laughing with the others.” You’re quiet. If only he knew what it took to keep that up in those times. “Besides that, I loved those moments when you were looking at the moon, you looked so serene and content.” You pull away, brows furrowing, “You were watching me then too?” “Shh,” he hushes, pulling you back into his chest and you giggle, “desperate times.” “So desperate you couldn’t have just knocked on my door.” You land a soft punch to his chest and he chuckles. Then you’re quiet again. “I did have happy moments, but I can’t say that I was happy. I think I was just living. Existing. Counting down to the days I’d see you again.” “Do you hate me for it?”

“No. I told you, you’ve the right to feel however you feel.” You nuzzle closer, “We’ve lost the last six years. I just want to appreciate that we can be together now.” “Me too.” A bigger issue looms over the two of you. With a big sigh, knowing you can’t escape it much longer, you make up your mind at this moment, pulling back to look at him. Gently caressing the side of his face as he smiles fondly. “About the Japan offer…” You start, and the swaying slows down as Jungkook focuses. “I’ve decided,” you nod, eyes avoiding contact, “I’m going to tu–” “I’m coming with you.” Jungkook says firmly. You take a while to process what he’s said, and what it means for you. Jungkook watches the mixture of reactions that spread across your features in the next moments, from surprised, to confused, to happy, and confused again. Had you even heard that right? “What?” “To Japan.” He tilts his head, smiling. “I’ll go with you. Like you said, we’ve lost so much time. And I don’t want to waste any more.” “But I–” “I can’t live without you.” Jungkook says softly, pressing his forehead to yours. “Not anymore. And I also can’t let you miss out on a great opportunity because of me.” “But what about the studio?” Concern etched over your face, thinking about all he’s done in the last month. You wouldn’t want it to go to waste. “I’ve had a chat with the team. They can handle the studio without me, I’ll work remotely.” Jungkook says, “I can also fly back for a couple of days each month to check in and maybe take a few clients.” At a loss for words, you simply gape up at him. You were ready to turn it down. More opportunities would come your way in future, but time with Jungkook had always been brief. Each time you think all’s well, something comes along to yank the rug from under your feet. This time round, you wanted it to last. Showing no signs of backing down, or mischief, he waits for your response. You haven’t actually thought about asking him to come along, knowing it would be too big of an ask for someone who’s just returned, and finally settled down. Jungkook angles his head down to meet your gaze. “That is, if you want me there with you.” The corners of your lips gradually lift up into a smile, and Jungkook cups your face as he notices the tears collecting on your lower lids. “I would love nothing more.” Your lips find each other, and tingles spread through your body as your lips mold into one another. It’s like the cuffs holding you down have snapped open, setting yourself free, as light as a feather. Your heart is full, overflowing with everything you’ve pent up till this moment, to have Jungkook in your arms again. That night, the moon gleams with a glow around it, as your bodies melt into each other, becoming one. Laboured breaths and whispers of sweet nothings, your insides burn with passion, and you see it reflected in Jungkook’s eyes which pierce into yours. Arms looped around his, legs clinging round his waist, Jungkook’s hips roll with calculated restraint. Hair sticks to his forehead and you clear them away from his face. Your nails trace down the length of his arm, over his tattoos, and you spot his old gang tattoo now blended in with the rest, surrounded by flowers. Jungkook falters when your eyes flicker back to him, consumed by the ecstasy on your face, and the whimpers that leave your lips. You suck in a breath when the burning of your insides reaches a point of no return. Jungkook captures your lips into a kiss, unveiling every bit of affection he’s sealed inside him for years. For every minute, every second, every moment you’ve occupied his mind.

Your moans get louder, and his thrusts get deeper. Reaching a point of no return, your arms desperately draw him in close, feeling the warmth of his body against yours, forehead resting against each other. You can barely register the emotions pulsing through your body, everything inside you released all at once, and the moment your eyes lock, Jungkook notices a stray tear dripping down the side of your face. Bodies in sync, chasing after the same high, Jungkook’s own control gets the better of him as his vision starts to blur. “I love you Y/N.” He blurts out, voice gentle despite his losing battle, “I love you so much.” With a final cry, and his lips crashing into yours with a flaming desire, Jungkook musters up every bit of strength left. Snap. You come undone beneath him, thighs trembling and convulsing around him, enough to make him cum just seconds later, filling you up as a slew of moans and groans fill the room. Legs still shaking against him, your nails dig into his back as he uses every last bit of his energy to milk every last drop. With a grunt, he collapses on you, breathing rapidly, sweat dripping down your bodies. It takes a while for either of you to regain your composure. Jungkook shifts above you, wiping the tear stains on your face with his thumb, delicately kissing your cheeks. Smiling up at him with your face flushed, lips swollen, you whisper, “I love you too.”

—

6 months later Wiggling your toes in excitement as you hear the welcome home announcement on the flight, you look out the window to see the airport coming into view. With Jungkook by your side, you cruise through security and baggage claim, getting into the first taxi you see, and arriving back earlier than expected. The apartment was kept in mint condition; no surprise there since you left it in the hands of Hana. You get your luggages through the door while Jungkook carries his duffel bag and the cats in each hand. “You’re shaking her carrier too much.” You comment. “I’m barely moving it! Jiji’s not even complaining.” Jungkook stares at Cream through the holes. “Stop whining. And you need to stop spoiling her.” “She’s my baby.” “And yet she loves me more.” Jungkook puts the carrier down, and unlocks it for the cats, who sniff their surroundings before exploring outside, recognising the familiar scent of the apartment. Freeing yourselves from your coats and bags, you drop down on the couch, slipping into Jungkook’s arms when he joins you. You sigh. “Feels good to be home.” Kissing the top of your head, Jungkook hums in agreement. The last six months have been nothing short of amazing, with the success of the art studio in Japan and Jungkook’s tattoo studio here taking off. You and Jungkook have now officially been living together for six months. Living together started off a little fiddly, especially in a foreign country, but eventually you found a good flow. Though you tell him not to, Jungkook took it upon himself to try and make up for six years in six months, regularly planning dates, going on weekend trips and giving you lots and lots of kisses. “Wanna shower together?” He asks and you laugh, expecting him to suggest that. Of course, you can never say no to a good time. – “Welcome back lovebirds!” Jimin throws his hands in the air, confetti falling all around him. And only him. Right behind him, Hana, Hoseok and Namjoon welcome you like normal people. They had organised a nice get-together at Hoseok’s to celebrate, with a little surprise in store which you were told of in advance. Over dinner, Jungkook and you shared your experience in Japan, answering the million questions thrown at you. Thankfully, Jungkook handled most of them, pleasantly surprising the others when he pulled up a list of places he had brought you to and the itinerary he planned. “Not bad,” Namjoon nods, “I’m gonna need a copy of that please.”

Over drinks, the boys get to talking amongst themselves while Hana drags you over to Hoseok’s couch, getting comfy. “So how’s everything?” Your updates with Hana were often, but there just wasn’t enough time to tell her everything. Now that you had Jungkook with you, most of your free time was with him. “Really good,” you shrug on one side, “studio’s doing well so management’s really happy–” “No not that!” She laughs, “You were always gonna kill it. I mean with Jungkook.” “Oh.” Suddenly feeling heat creeping up your face, you glance over at him before giving her a nod with a coy smile. “It’s been amazing.” “Look at you going all shy! Oh my god!” She shoves you playfully and you hide your face with one of the cushions as she pries it away from you. You slap her on the arm, smiling innocently at the boys when they glance at the commotion. “Shut up. I’m just saying he takes really good care of me.” Her eyes go round, “Makes sense. You are glowing.” “Not like that.” You say through gritted teeth, and with a pinch. 

“We need to have a girls’ night,” she whispers, “tell me everything.” 

“You are disgusting.” Whispering back, you squeeze her thigh and she yelps. “I mean…he makes me really happy.” Hana abandons her playful smirk for a genuine smile. She didn't actually need to ask, it's evident how happy you are; your face is brighter, your hair curlier, and you just light up the room as you walk in. But to hear you actually say it makes her unexpectedly emotional. “Heard your tattoo studio’s doing really well nowadays.” Namjoon comments, pulling up their instagram page. “Almost at a million followers.” Jungkook proudly nods, grinning like a child. “Still keeping tabs on me I see.” “Maybe if you actually replied to my texts, I wouldn’t have to.” He retorts. “Ugh,” Jungkook rolls his eyes, “Sorry I didn’t tell you I was back. I was a little preoccupied then.” Hoseok steps in, surprising Namjoon when he defends Jungkook. “To be fair, he did have a lot going on.” “Wow, look at you two.” Jimin tilts his head, admiring them fondly. “On the same side for once.” Hoseok hooks an arm around Jungkook’s neck lovingly, having to inch a little higher to reach him. Next to him, Jungkook curiously eyes this odd behaviour. Maybe one two many glasses of wine, he supposes. At the lack of response, Hoseok removes his arm, and Jungkook shuffles away, choosing to sit with you and Hana instead. “Dude, calm down.” Namjoon stresses, and Hoseok runs a hand over his face. “Yeah what’s with the weird drunk vibes?” Jimin whispers. He groans, “I can’t help it. I’m nervous. What if he kills me? He won’t, will he?” Both Hoseok and Jimin turn to Namjoon as if he had all the answers. After all, he’s safe as long as Namjoon is here, right? Namjoon looks at either of them. “Hm? Oh yeah he definitely might, sorry.” Hoseok’s stomach drops and at the same moment, the doorbell rings. Jimin sprints to the door, like he’s been waiting for this all night, welcoming the guest with his sweet voice. “Jungkook!” Head snapping from the couch, having paid no mind to the guest, Jungkook barely registers who it is before she zooms across the room, plastering herself against him. Rooted to his spot, Jungkook looks down at the woman with her arms around him. It isn’t until she lifts her head, showcasing her beautiful smile, that Jungkook finally recognises her. “Mia?” “Yes!” She giggles, going in for another hug. This time he reciprocates, wrapping his arms around her, but quickly pulling away to have a better look. A young lady now staring back at him, contrasts the version of her in his memory. She looks polished and sophisticated; clean, tidy clothes, nails done, flawless makeup with simple jewelry around her neck. No longer the girl he knew living in survival mode. “I can’t believe it’s you.”

“I can’t believe it’s you.” She beams, blinking away the tears in her eyes. She’d promised she wouldn’t cry. “Why didn’t you tell me you were back?” “I–” Jungkook stutters, “didn’t know you were still here.” He figured she would’ve left the city to find a safer place for herself. “I heard about it from them, but by the time I came back from Europe you already left for Japan.” “That was a while ago.” Jungkook’s brows scrunch together. “You've been here the whole time? What are you doing now? Why were you in Europe? You look so…grown up.” “I’m doing my master’s now.” “She was on an exchange trip the first time you came back.” Hana says, as Mia spots you on the couch and trots over for a hug. “Missed you guys by a week.” “I was so gutted.” She admits, squeezing your hand. “But I heard you guys are back for good now?” “That’s the plan.” You nod and she beams. Jungkook’s eyes trail her whenever she goes. “Master’s?” He mutters under his breath. “That’s amazing.” Mia shrugs like it’s no big deal, but clearly thrilled at the compliment. They spend the half an hour chatting, Jungkook listening to her talk about school and the job that’s funding her master’s. He can’t stop smiling, eventually tearing at the end, seeing how she’s done well for herself. Jungkook averts his gaze, looking out the window to hide the tears, but Mia pulls him back, wiping them away with her sleeve. As they walk back to where everyone had gathered, Mia announces her leave. “I’d love to stay longer but I do have work to do.” She says, giving Jungkook a long hug. He can’t even be mad, knowing years ago she’d be spending time bartending instead. “But let’s meet again soon. We have lots to catch up on.” Jungkook nods in agreement and she sucks in a breath. “I still have loads to tell you.”

Heartened, Jungkook releases a contented sigh. As she stands there in front of him, Mia then extends her hand towards where the boys are, wiggling her fingers. It’s pin-drop silence across the room as Hoseok shuffles over with heavy steps, slipping his fingers between hers. As curious as everyone is, their gazes averted, feigning interest on the dating show playing. When you show up next to him, gently snaking your arm around his, Jungkook’s smile gradually morphs into confusion, brows scrunching at their hands intertwined. Sharp eyes float back to the two of them, Mia staring back expectantly for a response. Jungkook chuckles, “No.”

–

Taking the afternoon off, Jungkook ends his last appointment of the day just before eleven. With the last of his tools cleaned and sterilised, he grabs what he needs and finds you in the waiting area. You smile when he appears, saying goodbye to the staff and lacing your fingers together as you leave. An hour away, Namjoon buries himself in a book, sitting in a diner ten minutes from the outskirts of the city. A carefully chosen location. He’s early of course, and puts his book down at the exact time he suggested, waving as the two of you come through the door. A quick hug, and you slide into the booth with Jungkook right behind you. “This brings back memories.” You cross your arms on the table, grinning from ear to ear.. Namjoon squints, “Good or bad ones?” “Good–” “Bad–” Jungkook stares at you, “Weren’t we constantly on edge back then?” He has a point, you shrug. “But I like being around you two. The terrific trio.” You whisper the last part to yourself, flipping through the menu. Namjoon chuckles, “Terrific trio?” “She’s been saying that all morning,” Jungkook shakes his head, “ignore and it’ll go away.”

Jungkook flinches when you pinch his side, laughing as he swings his arm around you and tug you closer to land a kiss on your cheek. Namjoon’s gaze softened, “Good to see some things never change.” Jungkook’s smile is contagious and you can’t help but to mirror him. “Anyways, thanks for coming down.” Book carelessly shoved into his bag, Namjoon pulls out an ipad. “Just thought I’d check in and see how things are.” “Everything’s good.” You find it redundant. Namjoon gets major updates from Hoseok anyways. Jungkook’s eyes float over to the ipad screen, “Yeah, and I’m pretty much settled now.”

“That’s good. Any suspicious happenings lately?” Namjoon points the question to you playfully, “Stalkers, maybe?” “Only this one.” You point your thumb to your left. “Follows me everywhere.” Namjoon leans in, “Ignore and it’ll go away.” The two of you cackle, sharing a high-five across the table as Jungkook watches with mild disgust. You two were always insufferable together. “You knew all along though, didn’t you?” Namjoon shrugs, “Only because of Hoseok. And when I saw the CCTV footage I thought, that person looks oddly familiar.” Jungkook scowls, “He really doesn’t mind his own business, does he?” “Never.” Namjoon adds, scrolling on his device. “So just to be safe, we’ve kept monitoring for potential threats. Scanned some of our own, like Evan, Mia. They did know you from before so it’s only protocol, and they’re both cleared. Is there anyone you guys particularly worried about?” Jungkook taps the pads of his fingers against the table, clearing his throat before asking, “What about…those locked up? Are they…” “Good question.” Namjoon shifts his glasses. “We’ve segregated them as much as we could to avoid any fraternising. Different facilities, different cities. Don’t worry, the big names in there aren’t aware of your involvement. Not Barome, not even Kyun.” “Oh right.” Jungkook swallows. “I forgot about him.” Namjoon nods. “Yeah, I’d say getting caught early saved his life. He could’ve ended up dead like the rest. He’s not been fed any info about the case; all he knows is that everyone’s either locked up, in rehab, or dead. Including you. Right?” Jungkook stiffens, lowering his gaze. “Yes.” His voice is soft and low, “I was in prison for a couple of years, got out through a rehab program.” You slip your hand into his under the table. He told you about this once in Japan. That was the official cover story in case people he once knew started asking questions. Namjoon looks at his screen like it pains him as well. “Don’t worry.” Namjoon says softly. “As far as they’re concerned, let’s just say they’ve got bigger issues to deal with. Kyun’s being moved to a separate facility in a different state where he’s wanted. Same with Barome – that man is wanted everywhere; multiple states, countries. Solitary confinement and probably life sentence.” “Okay.” Jungkook heaves out. “That’s good.” Jungkook squeezes your hand and you realise how much this still affects him. Occasionally, it does show in his apprehension to meeting new people, or constantly looking over his shoulder in shady areas. “There is one person though, that slipped through the cracks.” Namjoon sets the device down. “Min Yoongi. Your brows knit together. “Who?” “We lost him in the crowd and he successfully escaped that night.” He taps his ipad, pulling up an image and zooming in on the person in question. “Never to be seen again. At least till a week after the incident, right here in this diner.” The device slides over to your side of the table and you see the blurry capture. In one you can only see the top of his head, cap hiding his features. But in the second picture, he stares right into the camera, sharp and defiant. Suga.

“Never showed up in any of our searches ever since.” Namjoon breaks into a smile. “Pretty impressive.” Jungkook keeps his eyes on the picture, then chuckles. “Yeah, he’s good at that.” The tension rises as Namjoon locks in on Jungkook, taking the device back. “Do you know where he is?” “No.” Jungkook shakes his head. “That night was the last time I saw him.” Namjoon maintains his gaze. Jungkook tilts his head, corners of his lips rising. “We’ve been through this. I don’t know where he is, and I don’t know what happened to him.” Raising a brow with a downturned smile at the response, Namjoon’s attention flickers over to you. “Y/N?” Times like this, you’re reminded that Namjoon was always first and foremost a detective. Masking the thumping of your heart with feigned confidence, you shake your head and maintain eye contact till he tears away first. Sighing, Namjoon turns back to the device, swiping the tabs away. Jungkook gives your hand a gentle squeeze. You never told him about the incident. Though every time you go for a grocery run, it crosses your mind. Recalling how their relationship ended, and the guilt which ate him away, you weren’t sure bringing it up would be a good idea. Sucking in a breath of defeat, Namjoon puts his ipad away and the tension slowly dissipates. “You know, the statute of limitations has passed. Even if I do find out where he is…there’s no grounds for arrest.” The two of you remain silent. Jungkook shrugs, and Namjoon stares at him long enough till a knowing smile grows. “Alright.” He sighs, no sign of annoyance on his face. “Thought it was worth a shot. Kills me when I can’t solve something. Thought I’d get one last closure before I transfer.” “Give it up.” Jungkook teases, going back to the menu. “It’s not that he’s not in your radar. You’re in his radar, and when it comes to surviving, he’s the expert here.” Agreeing, Namjoon nods to Jungkook. “And he taught you well.” A melancholic look flashes over Jungkook’s face. “Yeah. He did.” “Offer to join the team is still on the table by the way.” Namjoon wiggles his brows. “Jaemin would love to be your mentor.” “Oh I’m sure he’d be thrilled.” Jungkook chuckles, signalling for the waiter. As they get the orders in, Jungkook doing it for you, your attention detaches from them, staring out the window. The supermarket incident replays in your head. You never did see them again after that. Perhaps Suga thought you’d tell on him. After all, if he still thinks Jungkook betrayed everyone, he’d think no less of you. If it’s true what Namjoon said about the statute of limitations, you hope he knows that he can come back. Not just him. Jihoon too, and his mother. Flinching when Jungkook’s elbow nudges against yours, he frowns, leaning in, “What’s wrong?” You brush him off with a smile, pulling yourself together. “Nothing.” He watches you closely as Namjoon goes over his order. Placing your hand on his, you reassure him you’re fine with a nod. “Okay.” Namjoon slaps his palms together as soon as the waiter’s gone. “Now, for the real reason you’re here.” “Real reason?” You raise your brows, Jungkook sharing a concerned look with you. “Yes. Hoseok.”

– Birds perched on nearby trees chirp cheerily. Leaves shuffle to the gentle breeze. White, fluffy clouds block the burning rays of the sun from kissing your skin, casting a shadow over the earth. In the distance, a family of six gather around a loved one, soft murmurs of their conversations reaching you. Further away, the sounds of children laughing and playing can be heard, taunting the lines of life and death. 

Sitting on the ground with your knees pulled against your chest, you watch Jungkook tidy the space around his sister’s grave. Forget-me-nots grow beautifully at the front of her tombstone, something that had him stopping in his tracks the moment he laid eyes on them. “Is this you?” He asked, noting the lack of reaction on your part. Nodding, your finger gently grazed against the flowers. “Planted them the last time I was here. Hope you don’t mind.” Touched, he whispered a thank you, eyes welling up. “They’re beautiful.” Jungkook takes his time. Cleaning dirt off the stone, plucking overgrown weed and just sitting there in her presence. He tells her what happened that night seven years ago, where he’s been all this while, and how life is now; his new studio, moving in with you, and the tattoo he got in her honour. When he’s done, he comes over and joins you, knee bumping against yours. “Thanks for visiting her while I was gone.” You offer a smile. “I knew she’d miss you. I did tell her about you ghosting me though.” Jungkook groans. “Forgot about your snitching tendencies.” You stick your tongue out at him, and he threatens to eat your face if you don’t put it away. Giggling as he squishes your face on either side, he hushes you, then steals a kiss anyway. When he lets go, you drop your body against his, relaxing with a sigh. It’s quiet for a beat. “When I was here a few years ago, there was a fresh bouquet.” He glances down at you, “Really?” You nod. “Do you think…your family–” “It doesn’t matter.” He fidgets with your hands, putting your palms together. “I don’t care what they do. However they feel now about what’s happened - guilty or not - is none of my business.” Adjusting yourself to face him, resting your head against his knees instead, you look up at him. “Do you think you’d ever want to reconcile with them?” Jungkook lightly brushes the stray hairs from your face, tracing a finger over the side as he thinks. “No. I left them a long time ago. And I want it to stay that way - in the past.” Another moment passes. “Does that bother you?” He asks. “Course not.” You smile, lifting your head. “Do what feels right to you.” “You’re the only family I have now.” He says softly, bringing you in for a kiss with a finger under your chin. “Don’t forget your extended family,” you comment against his lips. “Mia and your brother-in-law Hoseok.” Jungkook groans and rolls his eyes at the mention of Hoseok. He can’t comprehend how that man remains as annoying as he was ten years ago. But while it’s all jokes, on the topic of family, you notice the longing in his eyes as they glaze over. And you think you know why. “Speaking of,” you get nervous when he turns to you, “remember the talk with Namjoon?” Jungkook nods. Your throat goes dry. “I saw him. Suga.” –

It’s no longer surprising when Jungkook organises an impromptu trip. Granted, he never tells you anything anyways, and you end up scrambling to find a cover for your weekend classes. Thankfully Nari was available this week, now that your art studio and learning centre have entered into a partnership. “It’s all fun and games till I get a warning letter.” You babble as you get your shoes on. Though you shouldn’t really complain. Not when he’s done the packing. Plus, you love these trips. “For what? Having a life?” Jungkook held the door open, “You’re too hot to be cooped up in that studio all week baby.” Your lips curve up at the sides, ignoring his remark. 

Intertwined hangs swinging in between you, Jungkook listens to your carefree humming as he leads the way a step ahead. You’ve gotten used to letting him take you to the destination, letting your brain shut off during the journey. A bus ride takes you to a town further away from the main city area, with lesser traffic and people, and no high-rise buildings in sight. A short walk away you find yourselves at the entrance of a repair yard. Tons of old cars parked in rows waiting to be picked apart, while on your left, heaps and mountains of scraps and used parts that they would presumably end up in. “I trust you but I don’t think we’ll find our airbnb here babe.” You say worriedly and he scoffs out a chuckle. Distracted by your surroundings, Jungkook tugs on your arm when your steps slow down. His steps are much quicker, almost impatient, or excited. A large industrial building sits at the end of the path where several workers get to fixing vehicles under the shade. They look up at your arrival. Jungkook seems to recognise one of them, probably the one in charge, and with a nod, he calls out to some of his men at the back. “Barely recognised you.” He extends his hand after a good wipe on his shirt. Jungkook tears away from you for a quick hug and exchanging niceties. The man gives you a nod before turning back to Jungkook. “How’s my baby?” Jungkook asks. “Never better.” He says with a twist of his head. Behind him, one of the staff steers out a familiar bike towards the three of you. “Took great care of her.” Now you see what he was so excited about. Jungkook places his palm over his old bike, eyes sparkling as he surveys it. “For a while I thought you were never coming back.” The man says. “Once you called, we had to do some servicing since it’s been a while. Upgraded the engine, washed, polished, done a test run on it. Good as new.” “Perfect.” Jungkook offers his hand out for another half-hug. “Knew I could trust you.” He reaches into one of his bag pockets and pulls out a giant wad of cash you didn’t know about. In fact it surprised you that he had that much just lying around in there. He hands the cash over, grabs a couple of helmets and says his thanks once more. Without saying much, but with a silly smile on his face, Jungkook puts the helmet on for you like he used to. You stare at him. “What?” He sees the questions floating all around you. “We’re taking the bike on the trip?” The last time you rode one was almost a decade ago, and you’re a little hesitant. But Jungkook reassures you it will be fine. With the bag on your back now, he waits for you to hop on, then ushers your hands to wrap around his middle. Mindful of you, he goes slow at first. Only when he feels your tense body finally relax against him, he picks up the speed and makes it to the highway. “Hold on tight baby.” The road keeps going and going, and you rest your head against his back. After about an hour, bare lands along the highway make way for greenery, lots of it. Entering a rural area, far away from the city, the road gets narrower and the forest on either side gets bigger. There’s something nostalgic about this, but you can’t quite place it yet. Not until he takes an exit into a smaller road leading towards a secluded town, do the memories flash through your mind. There were minor changes like a new signboard, and more shops in the town centre. Riding past all of that, he only stops at the end of the road further in. The smell of the Earth welcomes you, tension seeping from your body as you breathe in the fresh air. You hop off the bike and step closer. “This place.” You mutter to yourself. “The safe house?” You turn back to Jungkook, hearing the engine go off. Walking right up to you with a grin. “You remember.”

Gravel crunches under your shoes as you walk up the pathway. It’s just as you remember. The houses are scattered within a circular space, no more than thirty, with ample space between each one, connected by a pathway passing by. Trees stand tall around the compound, protecting the small village. You remember the lake sitting behind the trees, where Jungkook and you made love. You also remember the exact house Jungkook had brought you to. The first one of the lot. So when Jungkook walks right past it, you fall behind. Scanning the area, now with a low fence around it, you notice toys scattered on the lawn. The windows are open, curtains dancing in the wind. It’s occupied. Jungkook pulls you along, instead stopping in front of the next one, previously occupied by an elderly couple. You shoot him a look. “They moved to be with their kids.” “Oh.” You sigh in relief and he chuckles. “They’re renting it out?” “They sold it.” Jungkook says as a matter of factly. “To me.” “To who?” He flashes the keys in front of your eyes and walks up to the door. Standing rooted in the front yard, you take in the entirety of this cozy little house. Full green bushes all around, a garden clearly well taken care of, wind chime tinkling over the porch where a two seater sofa sits. This in contrast to the forest behind, tall trees looming over, makes you feel so small. The windows burst open and Jungkook leans out. “You just gonna stand there all day?” You dart up the steps to the porch and pause at the door, taking in the interior. They had left behind their furniture and most of the furnishing. Homely, cozy, and clean, just as you imagined. “Wow.” “I know,” Jungkook mutters, hands on hips as he inspects the place, “we’ll make it less old people and more us.” You give him a blank stare. “I like how it looks.” Jungkook laughs, shaking his head. “Of course you do.” “This is exactly my style.” He steps up to your side, snaking around your waist. “So, you like it?” “I love it.” You nod. But your smile doesn’t reach your eyes, and he knows you too well to not notice the way your face drops immediately after. “What’s wrong baby?” You’re careful, hand on his arm around you. “How did you afford all this? The bike, this house…” Jungkook smiles when that’s all there is to it. “I did save up quite a bit while I was away, not like I was allowed to go out anyways.” It makes sense. “Didn’t you invest all of that into the studio? What with the marketing, and promotions…” “It was most of what I had, yeah.” He admits, resting on the arm of the couch and dragging you along, fitting in between his legs. You’re serious now, “I hope you’re not doing this just because–” Jungkook waits for you to finish. Brows scrunched, gaze averted, “You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone, not even me.” His hands find yours, wrapping around your fingers. He tilts his head to get you to look at him. “That’s not it at all.” Seeing that you’re clearly upset, Jungkook sighs and pulls you onto his lap. “Then why are you using up everything you have? Not trying to control you or anything…it just seems unnecessary.” Jungkook presses his lips together, but with a slight upturn to them. You watch curiously as he ruminates over something. It makes you nervous almost, like he’s about to divulge a secret. “It’s not just the money I saved up over the last few years.” He begins, rubbing the back of your palm with his thumb. “Promise you won’t be mad?” Your heart flips in your chest and you glare at him. “Jungkook.” “It’s also the money I earned while I was working under Kim.” Jungkook admits, noting your reaction.

That doesn’t really click in your mind. Everything would have been surrendered to the authorities back then. “How?” Your voice is low and uneasy. “I always take all my payments in cash, always. Only a percentage of it would go to my account, the rest, I put it in an investment with a friend.” He explains, “When things got serious, I knew there was no turning back so I took out all my money. And just before the first ambush at the warehouses, I’d already secured a safe place for it.” “Where?” You look around. “Here?” “More specifically…with someone.” “Some– who?”

His eyes dart to the side, out the window where it’s suddenly gotten much livelier with the sounds of a child giggling and screaming. They flicker back to you with a smug look. Outside, you spot a child holding hands with their parents, walking past the house you’re in and down the path to theirs. But then your attention diverts. As you step on the porch, you pick up on the very voice you heard that day at the supermarket. Time slows down around you, like watching it unfold in a movie, staring laying eyes on the family now living in the old safe house. At the foot of the steps, you watch them quietly. The baby you had once carried in your arms, running around the front yard, chasing after a little puppy. His father stands nearby, warning him not to get carried away. Suga. Hearing his voice, it’s unmistakable. Before you can say something, your mouth parts when someone else enters the picture, holding a fruit bowl in one hand, the other on her baby bump. She steps down carefully, Suga going over to give her a hand. Jihoon impatiently reaches for the fruits, which Suga makes a grab for before running away. More laughing and screaming ensues. Bella laughs. You must have been staring too harshly, because she turns as if on instinct. Your eyes meet and the instant recognition brings a smile to her face. Jungkook remains at the top of the stairs, leaning against the pillar with his arms crossed, a smile on his face. She starts waving and you wave back. “Bella?” Jungkook nods, hopping off the porch to be by your side. “She was the perfect person. I knew I could trust her.” Realising Bella’s now divided attention, Suga follows her line of sight. Much less receptive, you’re greeted with a blank stare. As you remember, he was good at that; making you feel unwelcome. But his gaze doesn’t linger, darting over to Jungkook. Ice cold. Without so much of an acknowledgement, he walks back inside, calling for Jihoon to come along as Bella watches him leave. Jungkook’s smile disappeared. To have Bella sitting right in front of you now, urging you to dig into freshly cut fruit, arranged in a spiral in a mixture of colours, feels unreal. You can’t stop staring. No wig, just her natural long brown hair. No fancy clothes, just a flowery sundress. Free from the heavy make-up, just her glowing bare features. She looks calm, and happy, as if the smile on her face is now permanent. “You’re prettier now.” She says softly, touching your cheek. 

Suddenly overcome with embarrassment, you breathe out a chuckle. “You’re glowing.” It was the only thing that came to mind, and Jungkook spits out a laugh before catching himself. You punch the side of his leg. Bella giggles. “How are you guys?” “We’re good.” You nod. “Just came back from Japan. And you?” “That sounds lovely!” Bella’s eyes light up. “I’m doing wonderful myself, thank you. How is everything back there?” You wonder if she follows the news. Would she know about Barome? Or about how there’s a new mayor and an entire government shuffle? The housing area where she used to live is now getting an upgrade, funded by the new town council who promised greater benefits for the underprivileged. “Lots on your mind?” She chuckles, shoving your knee playfully when you don’t respond. You straighten up, pulling yourself together. “Sorry Bella.” “Yubin.” She says. “I left Bella back there a long time ago.” “Yubin.” She smiles when you repeat after her. “I like that name. It suits you.” Yubin grins, shrugging at the comment.She sips on the juice which she herself had brought over, knowing your house would be empty. “No use for fake names anymore.” Her eyes glaze over for a moment as she says it, not in a mournful way, more like sparing a thought for her past self. You watch her carefully. “What…happened to you? How did you end up here?” Yubin’s eyes widen, and she looks at Jungkook. “You never told her?” Jungkook rubs the back of his head. “Was waiting for the right time.” She tuts, rolling her eyes and in that moment you see the old her. The one who would look out for you as much as she could. Yubin turns back to you with a smile, gathering her thoughts. “Jungkook came clean to me about the whole operation before it all went down,” she starts, “I managed to get a head start; packed my things, grabbed my baby. The only problem was that I had nowhere to go. Even to lay low.” Yubin turns to Jungkook, nodding. “I knew nowhere would be safe for her, so I got her a ride to the station, and gave her directions that would lead her here.” Jungkook continues. “At the time it was too late to get her out of the country, she’d need a new passport, ID…plus we didn’t know how things were going to end up.” “When I arrived, the elderly couple who lived here were already expecting me.” She chuckles. “They were so lovely!” “A few days later, I dropped off the money.” Jungkook looks at Yubin, “Not just mine. Suga’s as well. I emptied out his account and left it all with Bel– Yubin.” “And all I needed to do was wait.” She rests against the chair, “Yoongi showed up a week later, after the whole…” Yubin looks at Jungkook with concern and he takes a deep breath. “I gambled on him showing up…there was a chance he wouldn’t after finding out I was the informant. He might’ve thought the safe house was exposed too.” “But I got a hold of him.” Yubin smiles, almost bashfully. “He has a burner phone he uses when he’s laying low. Only Jungkook and I have the number. So I texted him a coded message to lead him here.” You sit quietly, taking it all in. Despite knowing their relationship would never be the same again, Jungkook made sure his partner would be safe. Made sure Yubin could care for her child in a safe environment. All while risking everything he had and accepting the consequences. He could very easily have run off with Suga. Hid it out here for the last seven years. But he’d made a choice and decided to see things through. “Why didn’t you tell me?” You turn to him, face full of worry. “There was too much going on.” He admits, shaking his head. “And even after, I knew Namjoon would be on him, didn’t want to burden you with that info.”

Your cold hand wraps around his, the glum expression on his face a testament to his struggle. “You did good,” Yubin moves to the seat next to him, rubbing a soothing hand on his shoulder. “You saved me, Jihoon, and he’d deny it but you saved Yoongi too.” Jungkook turns to her slowly. “Has he ever…mentioned anything?” Yubin presses her lips together, shaking her head. “Give him time. He’ll come around.” Perhaps Jungkook thought time would heal the wounds he caused. But he doesn’t try to fight it. “Trust me, he’ll get over it.” Yubin gets him to face her, “ Hey look, it took him three years of living together for him to finally admit his feelings for me. That man is terrible at expressing himself.” The thought of Yoongi coming to his senses and confessing is weird, and Yubin must have noticed the disgust on your face, breaking into laughter. “He’s not so bad.” “You’ve been saying that since forever.” You point out and she shrugs, giggling. Jungkook can’t help but to huff out a chuckle. “Yoongi’s not for everyone. He’s picky with who he lets into his life,” she brushes Jungkook’s hair back lovingly, “and for most of his life you were the only one he cared for. One day, he’ll understand why you made the choices you did. Even if he doesn’t, I promise you, he will always have space for you in his heart.” A lonesome tear trickles down the side of his face and Jungkook quickly wipes it away, pulling himself together. Yubin extends her arms and lets him lean into her for a hug. She watches the way Jungkook turns to you, chuckling as the tears are contagious, tears starting to well up in your own eyes. He presses a kiss to your forehead. Yubin smiles warmly, “I’m glad everything worked out.” “I’m sorry for everything.” You blurt out, catching a confused look from her. “I made it more complicated than it already was. Sorry…for all the trouble I caused.” “Me too.” Jungkook slips his fingers between yours and turns to Yubin. “None of this would’ve happened if–” “Everything turned out as well as it possibly could.” Yubin maintains an amused smile on her face as she looks at the two of you. “It was a hell of a change that’s for sure. Remember, we used to talk about running away, risking our lives, always looking over our shoulders. Now, we’re here, safe and sound.” Yubin’s smile gets wider, reaching her eyes. She looks at her baby bump, running her palms over her unborn child. “And we’re happy.” –

The city skyline comes into view as the sun starts to set in the distance, its orange glow gradually lowering between two skyscrapers. The night would soon come to life, city lights spanging all around you in a burst of colours. On a rooftop bar in the middle of the city, you’re surrounded by friends of Mia, her brothers, Hoseok’s family and some people you know from college. Hand in hand, Hoseok and Mia roam around, speaking to guests with Mia showing off her ring. A few days ago, Hoseok popped the question. It came as a surprise when Namjoon revealed it back at the diner. Of course, Hoseok was too intimidated to tell you (Jungkook) himself, assigning the difficult task to Namjoon. All by himself, he planned an elaborate surprise which involved Hana and you ushering her to the beach, where Hoseok waited with a candlelight dinner in a private area surrounded by rose petals. Jimin made sure to video the entire thing while Namjoon snapped away on his fancy camera. “Look at him,” you nod towards Hoseok, “he was sweating buckets that evening. Now…still.”

Everyone giggles, having seen how badly he sweats when he’s nervous. Even so, he managed to deliver a nice, short speech at the start. An impressive one for anyone who didn’t know Namjoon helped him for most of it. “Can’t believe we’re at the age where friends are getting engaged and stuff.” Hana comments. “I know,” you sigh, eyes hooked onto the glow on Mia’s face, “crazy how time flies.” Standing next to Jungkook, Hana notices how his eyes have been fixed on you for a while. She subtly bumps against his arm, raising her brows at him. He narrows his eyes at her. Just then, Hoseok taps a glass with a fork to get everyone’s attention, and a quiet hush follows. “Hey everyone, thank you so much for being here tonight. We really wanted to celebrate our engagement with the people we love and those close to us and we appreciate that you’ve allowed us to share our joy with you.” Hoseok interlocks his fingers with Mia. “Both of us are extremely grateful for all the love, advice and support you’ve given us tonight. This is still really new for us, and we hope that you can continue to look after us and give us your blessings.” A short applause follows. “Oh, I also wanted to give a shoutout to my friends. Without them, none of this would have been possible.” He gestures to the five of you as everyone claps, before turning back to Mia. “And also…to my lovely Mia, who’s agreed to marry me. I think everyone who knows Mia, knows how very lucky I am.” A series of awws go around, touched by his affection. Mia dries her eyes and they share a kiss, prompting some cheers. Hoseok ends the speech with a lovely quote you know for sure had to be Namjoon’s doing. While he goes on, someone burns holes through your side. Jungkook, standing just next to Hana. She mentioned how distant he’s seemed all day. You’d pegged it as well; he’s kept conversation to a minimum even at home. But it didn’t bother you much. You figured it was his way of getting used to Hoseok and Mia. When you turn, he looks away at the same time, but you’ve caught him. A cheeky smile spreads over your lips. After the speech, conversations continued, some indulging in the open bar, others parked near the dessert table, while others took to the dance floor or simply enjoyed the view. The group huddles once the couple is finally ready for pictures. Hoseok and Mia stand in the middle while you and Hana on either side, the men at the back. Jungkook keeps close to you, placing a hand on your shoulder. Click. “How about both couples together?” Hana suggests, winking at Jungkook. Jimin and Taehyung catch on to it, leading Jungkook to stand next to Hoseok without waiting for an answer. The camera clicks at the count of three. Jungkook’s awkward arm over Hoseok’s shoulder leaves the others snickering behind the cameraman. They face each other after, Hoseok with a tired, yet cautious smile. It’s the first time they’ve had a moment together since he learned about the engagement. “Congratualtions.” Jungkook says, clearing his throat after. Hoseok chuckles awkwardly, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “Thanks for being cool with this.” Jungkook shrugs, “Nothing to do with me, Mia can make her own choices.” Hoseok looks to the side for a second, brows knitting, then turns back to Jungkook. “Wait, so you’re not cool with it?” Jungkook scoffs out a laugh, letting loose for the first time the whole night. “I only want her to be happy. Clearly, she is when she’s with you. I respect that.”

Seeing him smile, Hoseok’s nerves calm a little. Jungkook’s eyes float over to where you and Mia are, chatting about her dress, her hair, and her ring. “She hasn’t had an easy life,” Jungkook starts, “but she’s strong. She deserves the best; someone who’s good to her, supports her, loves her unconditionally. She– she reminds me of my sister…“ Hoseok freezes; it’s the first time Jungkook has ever brought up a family member. “And I love her like a sister. So please, treat her well.” Jungkook does the unthinkable, hinging at the waist and lowering his head in a bow. Hoseok stood in astonishment at his action. He steps forwards, pulling Jungkook in a hug, one Jungkook knows wouldn’t end so soon. “Jungkook. I promise I’ll take care of her.” “I know,” Jungkook says against his shoulder. “After all, you’ve been the best to Y/N all these years.” Jungkook’s eyes meet with yours as he stays wrapped around Hoseok. No one else seems to notice the hug except you, head tilted in amusement, your soft eyes smiling at him. “Hey,” Namjoon calls out just as they break apart, holding up his camera, “could I get one of you and Y/N now?” “Yeah!” Mia pulls you away and gets Jungkook to stand by you. “Soulmates.” Jungkook exhales against your side, placing his arm around your waist. Click. “Okay now face each other.” Namjoon orders. Jungkook stares down the camera for a second, but you’re already looking up at him. He freezes as he gets lost in your eyes. How beautiful, he thinks, with the last rays of the day shining on your face. Click. “Now, kiss.” Jungkook snaps out of it when he hears the giggles, scowling at the camera instead. Namjoon shrugs, walking off to find another target instead. Hana, Jimin and Taehyung find a spot at the open bar, and the engaged couple steal a moment to rest. “You’re acting strange today.” “Strange how?” You find a spot by the glass railing, a view overlooking the city. Jungkook’s arms are around you, swaying you side to side. You shrug. “Just. Quiet. ” His brows scrunch together, amused. “When have I ever been the life of the party?” “Okay,” you agree, “and why have you been staring at me the whole time?” Jungkook smiles, staring at your lips. “Not the whole time.” Hitting him with a look, Jungkook lightly pinches your nose. He’ll tell you when he’s ready. You let yourself rest against him, feeling your body melt into his arms as you stare at the view. After a while, he speaks. “Sometimes I can’t believe it.” “What?” You murmur, cheek pressed to his chest. “That this is all real.” He says gently. “That things somehow worked out. And I’m happy, I have a normal job. I have friends. I have you.” You look at him, staring into the distance, a look of disbelief. “I used to imagine this kind of life…and now I’m living it.” The childlike innocence in the way he describes it tugs at your heartstrings. “You deserve all of this. And more.” You get on your toes and press your lips against his. Jungkook grazes his thumb against your cheek, feeling especially grateful. Cheers erupt from the bar where the couple have found themselves at. And of course, Jimin is at the center of it all, orchestrating the chaos of pitting the couple against each other in a drinking game. Jungkook’s attention lingers on them. Mia wins, throwing her hands in the air as Hoseok makes excuses. Laughing giddily, Mia kisses him passionately, prompting more cheers all around. Happy faces everywhere. “Do you think you'd want this one day?” He asks, blinking away when you make eye contact. “Getting engaged, married?”

It now occurs to you why he has been acting weird the whole time, why he has been staring at you, gauging your reactions. A silly smile, one where your tongue sticks out between your teeth, and your nose crinkles up, makes Jungkook’s ears burn. Still, he can’t help but to crack a smile himself despite his embarrassment, one where the tiniest of his dimples make an appearance. “Is that what this is about?” “Maybe.” His round eyes try to read yours, shrugging. “I wanted to know how you feel about it.” His sincerity is endearing. Always so cautious, and considerate of your feelings. “I’ve never really thought about it that seriously,” you admit, shrugging, “but I think, maybe yes, one day. When that special person asks me.” He smiles, about to say something when Hoseok’s loud voice from all the way on the other side cuts through his moment. He glares at an unknowing Hoseok and you laugh. “Just think, you could’ve ended up with him.” “Jungkook.” “Definitely made the right choice though.” He giggles when you slap him on the chest. “There was never a chance that I’d choose to be with anyone other than you.” You say, watching the satisfied smile grow on his face, though with a hint of playfulness still lingering. “Yeah, wasn’t gonna say anything but,” he looks around and whispers, “a rooftop bar is pretty lame. That’s what you get for marrying Hoseok.” Your laughter drowns out everything else, and Jungkook’s absorbed in the way your eyes crinkle, and your cheeks rising, hand covering your mouth when you get conscious of stares. Your giggle seeps through his skin, feeding his intense adoration of you. “I knew it would be you.” Jungkook blurts out. “No one has ever made me feel this way before.” The giggles die down, suddenly feeling tingles in your tummy. “You were always the one for me too, Jungkook. I can’t imagine a future with anyone else.” Your eyes flutter to his chest, avoiding his intense stare, cheeks burning. “Maybe I just don’t say it enough but I love you, so much. I feel happy and safe and…complete when I’m with you.” Jungkook could burst right there and then. It feels like his heart has expanded into the size of his chest, pressing against his ribcage. He looks down at himself for a moment, then back at you. When he reaches into his pocket, your heart starts to race. “Don’t worry I’m not– “ he chuckles at the way your face contorts into mild panic. Jungkook clears his throat, clutching a rectangular box. “This is um…” Hands trembling slightly, he opens the old, brown case, and you gasp. “I know you like this. Saw you looking at it.” The vintage watch you had been eyeing for so long, sits prettily in its case. You recall Mdm Lee’s unusual behaviour that day as she told you the watch was sold. Little did you know, it was Jungkook all along. “Jungkook this is…” Carefully removing it, he gently fixes it on your wrist, letting you have a moment to take it in. A tear makes it down your face, and Jungkook wipes it away. Though your eyes are moist, the loveliest smile takes over your face, “I don’t even know what to say.” Jungkook’s grins, holding your hand in his, admiring how it ended up matching the look you have on. His fingers drag down the back of your palm, tracing over your fingers. “I don’t have a ring yet, but one day, I’d like to ask you to marry me.” Your gaze lingers, quietly admiring every little detail of his face. He tilts his head, teeth toying nervously with his lip ring. “Is that okay with you?” You nod aggressively, wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug. 

“Is that a yes?” He asks, chuckling. Jungkook plants a kiss on your forehead when you pull away, breathing out in ease. You cup his face, warm hands resting on the sides. “Yes. A thousand times yes.” Your lips mould with his, softly, passionately, sealing a promise for the future. “No take-backs.” He warns, savouring your giggles against his lips. “You’re stuck with a reckless, ex-drug dealer loser.” “Not a loser.” You say softly, brushing his hair. “Just a little rough around the edges. But I wouldn’t change it for the world.” –

A year later Crave Ink Studios quickly earned their spot as one of the best places for tattoos and piercings. The art studio, now in partnership with the learning centre, received generous funding from the city council to continue support for at-risk youth. Despite your busy schedules, you make it work. Jungkook’s quaint house becomes a usual getaway; weekends, special occasions, and impromptu trips. Far from the weight of the city. Especially in the spring, where the sun is out, yet there’s a slight chill in the air. The humble abode you share, now opens up to your extended family. Hana’s jeans rolled up to her calves as she soaks her feet in the river together with Jimin, whose hands safely hold on to Jihoon’s, kicking the water as they waddle along. By the river bank, Yubin’s giggles dance in the wind, with Mia’s arm hooked around hers as they catch up. Nearby, Hoseok hangs around with Namjoon, who’d recently transferred from active duty to a trainer in the academy, leaving him more time to pursue photography. For that reason, he’s able to turn a blind eye to the man he’d considered a ghost, now keeping at a distance away. Yoongi lingers around the vicinity, close enough but not too close. There was only a brief moment of silent recognition between them, before they returned to their individual bubbles, indifferent. Perhaps he’d gotten over it, or maybe his priorities have changed. 

He cradles his sleeping baby in his arms, bouncing ever so slightly with a smile only reserved for his son. Jungkook’s eyes meet with his. Void of any bitterness and animosity. Yoongi’s gaze lingers for a while, a weird, nostalgic feeling in his chest, before his lips curve upwards into a familiar smirk. Jungkook beams, flashing his charming smile. Jungkook leans in for a soft peck, then finds comfort in your lap, gazing into your loving eyes. A gentle breeze blows and lulls his eyes closed. His hand reaches for one of yours, interlocking fingers and resting them over his chest. His heart beats a gentle rhythm. “Love you.” He utters quietly. In the distance, birds chirping echo through the forest. The smell of the earth keeps you grounded, and the sounds of happy conversations, giggling and laughter fill the air all around you. You brush your fingers through his hair, tracing over his features, and he hums approvingly. Chest rising and falling in a contented sigh, he smiles. “Love you too.” Rough edges and all.

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author's note:

hi everyone. we've reached the end of rough edges, after so long! it's so bittersweet to be typing this at the end of the last chapter. so much has happened since i posted the first chapter six years ago. i never imagined the short drabble i posted would end up as a full fledged, 20 chapter fic. i wanted to say a great thank you for allowing me to share this story with you. i apologise if i've taken too long to finish this, i wish everyone who was here from the start could still be here! but life goes on. doesn't matter if you're an og reader or if you've just found re, you have all been a great bunch of readers and it makes me so happy every time i see you interacting with my works or sending me asks, messages and comments about re. this wouldn't be half as much fun as it was without you! thank you for all the love and support. i'm going to miss this couple so much. they will always have a special place in my heart along with all of you! please continue to keep re in your hearts!

thank you my loves.

love,

rain <3

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@simp4tae @alpharyth​ @sarangtaurus @hobistruly @bubbless-world @drumsofheaven @kookxin​ @fan-ati--c @sojurmaine @kookiiieee @jenryu @somewhereinthestarss @taehyungiev13 @hobi-hobii @unicornbabylover @lilyflowerguk @adorablekoo @hobicomeholla29 @jjkyy @che-er-ful @giadalin @vminwildin @jiimiinsii @uskookie @sevgidgn @thenewjefferson @vampgguk @jksbbyfacebunny @finethepine @thehappygrungelife @callmejimmeo @storms-and-stars-blog​ @ladiesalute​ @rikaxyu @loveykookie @jjk1iscoming @hyyhpt2 @xgoodsoupx @cherryblossom73​ @shatzkrinslinzki @kazthebrekkerofinej @shydestinyyouth @parksugarbaby @ricedelune @jbbunny @kittygangbngtn @ohitssummer @bunnyeogguk​ @xtrataerrestrial @vmmnkooksgyu @chaoticbisous @jeonninja @investedreader @b4ngtnies @athenakyle @shatzkrinslinzki @nostalgicv ​​@charmerkook @rrosiitas @vanilla-sky01 @kgamboa11 @weeedmann @jenniebyrubies

[heungminie]

Son Heung Min scored a free kick in the 104th minute @AsianCup2023 | Quarter-final : Australia 1 - 2 Korea Republic

[kjhmyg]

mind randomly decides today i am sad

[kjhmyg]

lord i just want son heungmin if u cant give me anything else

[oonpy]

I feel like you guys are blogging without me

[achillesinhighheels]

my sexual fantasy Is to have someone notice my absence and wonder about me

[kjhmyg]

followed a couple of good friends from work on ig and now other colleagues are sending requests HELP ME

[twinkhole-destroyer]

“nobody wants to work anymore” yeah because everyone wants to kill themselves

[shisasan]

I can think of nothing but sad things. June 28, 1913 Letters to Felice by Franz Kafka First published : 1973

[8nin]

you ever be so stressed and you look in the mirror and you’re like wow ok great I’m ugly too

[hritika13-tamboli]

Jeon Jungkook Fic Recs List 9....

Series.....

Kkangpae gyori || wattpad & ao3 | jeon jungkook x f!reader | enemies to lovers | gang au | slow burn | fuck buddies | forbidden love | secret relationship || @jungkoode

Summary: "It's a simple rule in the gang: avoid attachments. But when it comes to Jungkook, that's easier said than done."

Rulers of ruins || mafia!jungkook x mafia!reader || @igotnojamzzz

Summary : In a world governed by clans and blood debts, nothing ever burns by accident; fading embers are nurtured carefully, mistaken for mercy and the gentle promise of warmth through the night. But fire answers to no one, and it has never spared what—or who—was foolish enough to keep it close.

Rough edges || bad boy Jungkook x reader | college au | gang au || @kjhmyg

Summary: when you uncover your boyfriend's private life, a deep dive into it sucks you in as you try to help save him from himself.

Lisp || snake hybrid!jungkook x reader | hybrid au | childhood friends au || @aquagustd

Summary: knew that your hybrid best friend would turn out to be such a clingy, over-protective lover?

The rental masterpiece || Jungkook (rental boyfriend) x reader | strangers to lovers au || @tarathetic

Summary : you paint love stories for strangers but don’t believe in one for yourself . He sells affection by the hour and never crosses the line. Until he starts seeing you beyond the performance. And the masterpiece you both create isn’t on canvas… it’s in your heart??

In the frame || pornstar!jungkook x wedding videographer!fem reader | pornstar au || @missenu

Summary: your skills as a videographer gets put to the test when your friend, who happens to be in the same profession, falls victim to double-booking. problem is, you only specialized in weddings, not adult films. despite your initial reluctance, you take the job. cue the lights … you meet jeon jungkook, a pornstar, on set — in his world. you just never expected him to play a part in yours.

One-shot.....

Velvet ruin || Two-shot | Jungkook x reader | forced marriage | morally grey couple | toxic love | revenge | pregnancy trope | villain x villain || @riri01vbbe

Summary: You were raised to rule, not to love. When your father kills Jungkook's father and forces him to marry you, you treat him like strategy nothing more. Revenge turns your marriage into a battlefield. Blood is spilled. Lovers die. Children become the only innocence left between you. In the end, you don't win the war. You just choose to leave it, together.

Prince x princess || prince!jungkook × princess!reader | arrange marriage au | book story love || @ohhowjooniewept

Same Friendship group || friend jungkook x reader | yearning | idiots in love || @ohhowjooniewept

New romantics || quidditch player!jungkook x reader | hogwarts au | enemies to lovers au || @cupofteaguk

Summary: Jeon Jungkook will go down in history as one of the best Quidditch players that ever graced the Hogwarts scene. it seems like he always gets what he wants—his life is very predictable in that sense. what he cannot predict, however, is the newest weekend employee wiping down the tables at the Three Broomsticks.

The last voyage || Captain!Jungkook x Reader | Nautical AU | Second Chances || @tarathetic

Summary : Ten years ago, he left with a rusted compass and a promise to become someone worth coming back for, but today he is the "Iron Captain" of the Aurelia, a man of gold-braided shoulders and a heart buried at sea. When Y/N boards his ship as a passenger, the cold, meticulous world Jungkook built begins to shatter, revealing the boy who once shielded her from the rain still hiding behind those black leather gloves and a haunting, silent authority. Amidst midnight storms and the devastating ache of ten years of unanswered letters, they are forced to face the ultimate truth: the sea may be infinite, but for two souls destined to collide, there is only one way home.

Vroom || biker!jungkook x good girl!reader || @seokbite

Summary: Every night you slip out your bedroom window, heart hammering against your ribs as you run toward the low rumble waiting in the dark and to Jeon Jungkook, the town bad boy biker with tattoos and an attitude that would send your daddy into his grave. but you didn't care, because underneath all that rugged exterior was a man who knew how to take care of you in more ways than one.

Just you, only ever you || CEO !Jungkook × Fashion Designer! Reader | established relationship au || @midnightluvsworld

Summary: didn’t consciously fall in love—it happened quietly through everyday moments until they became inseparable. And when their love was threatened, he proved she was everything to him.

Until He Can Call You His. || boyfriend!jungkook x reader || @vinylopall

Summary: which.... jungkook shows up every Friday for six months to ask your father for permission to marry you, and gets rejected every time. Still, he returns each week with flowers, pastries, and stubborn determination. Meanwhile, you have no idea your boyfriend has been secretly trying to “apply” for the role of your husband behind your back.

An Abundance of Mondays || Ao3 by univsa | childhood best friends to lovers | college au | idiots to lovers || @diortae

Summary: “Why the fuck would it be easy? You’re disgustingly in love with your best friend. Of course it’s complicated.” He pauses to roll his eyes, as if he hasn’t just laid out the most secret parts of you here in the middle of the campus dining hall.

Or, it’s an old cliche, falling in love with your best friend. It’s a shame none of the stories ever told you it would feel like this.

[kjhmyg]

thank you for including Rough Edges in your list 🥺🫶🏽

[birdplushie]

they should make it illegal to end your story with an epilogue where your main female character is suddenly randomly married and has children when she's never once expressed a desire for this previously

[theunfortunate-author]

my daily affirmation as an author

[golden-loona]

my writing is shit but its my genuine brain slop

[hobipowers]

one more night 💜

[loveridden1999]

we live a world where one man is a trillionaire while people are starving in gaza and sudan, 81 million people are below poverty line in india, kids are being forced to do manual labour in mines in congo to survive and his own countrymen are dying because they cannot afford healthcare and then people will wonder why we think capitalism is the root of all evil

[jung-koook]

DOUBLE ATTACK 😩 (cr. @taee)

[kjhmyg]

crying over the fact that my friend is leaving for london in 3 weeks im such a loser