I did all my big boy stuff I was gonna do ANN NND also took good care of myself! Brushed my teef, and showered real good!
Bad news is, my POTS has been real mean today ;^; and we have rainy weather and I'm achy. But dats Otay! I make chocolate milk and snacks and maybe do some maff homework.
I wanted to be up more but I keeps getting dizzy ;^;
Today was so rough and I just wanna be held so bad ;^; I just don't know what to do anymore....
(Posted also here on my main blog for personal reasons)
(TW: cussing and adult life)
I try so hard at every job I have and it just never seems to be enough. I got this job being told I would be Full Time, have insurance, etc.
What they didn't tell me was that that was after a YEAR of working here.... I don't even have PTO OR unpaid time off til 1 year. Same with vacation time. Now I can only hope they give me 37+ hours a week. I had to walk 2 miles this morning to work. Walked. 2 miles. 8am.
I have mobility issues. Made it 20 minutes early. The rest of my fucking molar falls out of my mouth cause it's AMERICA AND I DON'T HAVE GOD DAMN INSURANCE NOR CAN I EVER GET TIME OFF WORK FOR A FUCKING APPOINTMENT
Keep working despite losing a whole fucking tooth out of my head. Get sent to a department to DEEP CLEAN REGISTERS. I DON'T EVEN FUCKING HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH FRONT END.
I tell them, "Hey I'm getting really lightheaded today squatting and getting back up so I can't really keep under the registers."
OH YOU"LL BE FINE LOL
...Like I'm not SUGGESTING I'm TELLING you.....I start doing it anyway cause they won't take me serious despite having a doctors note. I almost pass out enough times the lady in charge is like, "??? Do you have medical issues?" YES FUCKYOU I'VE SAID THIS 1000 TIMES SINCE STARTING HERE I LITERALLY HAVE A FUCKING CANE?
I tell her yes and explain, and she is straight up Smiling......"Oh I have some of those things and this other thing! Wait til you're my age!" I just stop answering, while the other girl behind me is all, "OH I COULD TELL YOU SOME HORROR STORIES OF MY BODY!" I finally snapped and went, "i DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR HORROR STORIES! I HAVE 29 YEARS OF MY OWN IN MY OWN BODY!!!!!!! I don't PLAN on living past either of y'alls ages if I'm still hurting this bad!!!!"
I fucking cried in the bathroom. Then got written up cause I called in 2 days ago throwing up. COULDN'T GET A NOTE CAUSE I DON'T HAVE INSURANCE.
They get onto me for having a medical bag. I get a note for it. They suddenly move the goalpost and now I have to have a medical patch or an actual medical bag, not just my backpack with my shit in it. Then I try and go like 20v minutes early to catch the bus (Next one is like 1+ hour after I clock out) and they tell me I have to print the bus schedule for them and 'update my availability'. I told them I would be taking the bus when they hired me. Tons of coworkers also take the bus. Never an issue. Now it's an issue?
So I update availability to take me off Sundays and say I can't stay past 6pm.
Immediately got two 12-7PM shifts and I worked today, a Sunday.
Like I'm trying so fucking hard, I swear. I come in early, on my days off, WALK TO AND FROM IF I HAVE TO EVEN THO IT HURTS. I'm crying and I'm so tired. I'm fucking trying. There's nothing to work towards.....
Let's go back to school shopping! Even if you're not in school anymore, we can get some supplies to craft with ^-^
Let's get a notebook or two, pick your favorite and we can use it for your agere journal! And of course we need pencils and pens. Let's get some mechanical pencils in your favorite colors.
Want a new backpack? They've got lots of character bags, or we can pick a regular cute one if you'd like!
Crayons are a must. No matter how old you are, you always need crayons!
And some sticky notes?
And how about a pack of highlighters?
Oh! And let's get a new lunchbox to match your backpack!
Oops, looks like I went a little overboard this year...did we get too much stuff?...oh well, now you have plenty to share with your friends! Let's pick out a new outfit for your first day back, and then we can go home.
papa who encourages their baby to drink water and rest throughly when they're on their period, massaging their baby's tummy, hips, and lower back whenever cramps ache through their poor body, soothing their baby to sleep :(
" my poor baby, such a brave little angel.. "
gently pressing a kiss to their baby's forehead when they finally drift off to sleep, keeping an eye on their little one in the meantime.
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