DO YOU FEEL LOVE?

i've learned to live with the way that it hurts.

[konkuuritobyebye]

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コンクリート/ #KONKUURITO: INDEPENDENT FANDOMLESS OC WRITTEN BY CINNA. highly-selective and low-activity with triggering themes. SOAKED IN THE NEON GLOWS. SILVER-FORKED TONGUES TALKING TO YOU IN THE DIGITAL SNOW.

JAY KURONUMA -- a study of the los angeles yakuza, blood money, a doomed fate, the cycle of abuse, and unhealthy trauma coping mechanisms. trigger warning for both mentions of human trafficking and sexual assault.

CHEERS TO THE LIFE YOU DON'T GET TO CHOOSE. ANOTHER ANTICHRIST ON THE EVENING NEWS.

doc. | pinterest. | aes blog.

[konkuuritobyebye]

sup dudes i moved blogs to @konkuurito in the interest of trying to get writing going again, give me a follow

[konkuuritobyebye]

i might remake (again).

[konkuuritobyebye]

when my mental health isn't complete garbage i'll be here. thank you for being patient. i know i don't need to explain myself. i just feel like it sometimes

[konkuuritobyebye]

probably not gonna be on tonight because i'm exhausted and eepy and in a mental rut, will try to be on sometimes this week

[konkuuritobyebye]

hello! i will likely be on tonight, but i'm here to talk about omukade jay's anatomy and physiology.

yes, omukade jay counts as vampiric, but omukades are basically like... mega vampires. in jay's verse, there are many subspecies of vampires, but very few omukades. omukades require more energy to function and therefore need to eat human flesh instead of just drinking blood, but they can also survive for longer in the sun. the sun drains their energy slowly instead of burning them to a crisp, so omukades opt to avoid the sun and go out at night all the same.

jay's moniker is 'the centipede' because of the multiple limbs that sprout from his back, but those limbs are more similar to a scorpion's than a centipede's. the centipede was a name coined for him by the vampire community after someone first described him as centipede-like, but it is a definite misnomer.

jay sprouts those arms when he feeds, attacks, or fenzies, as well as mandibles from his mouth and claws. the closest i would describe him is the las plagas from resident evil 4.

in his normal state (not feeding or fighting), he has bioluminescent red eyes, paler skin, and his veins are black/dark red underneath.

[konkuuritobyebye]

been a busy week but will try to be on in a bit y'all, either in a bit or tomorrow 💖

[floodflameschosen]

[konkuuritobyebye]

WHAT TYPE OF LONELINESS ARE YOU?

loneliness born of anger

you learned from a young age you are not like others, and others hate you for it. you've been mocked and tormented your whole life, and it birthed a violence in your heart. you yell at your younger siblings when they slip up. you don't want them to suffer the same fate you did. at once, you are both miles above and miles below your peers. you are not polite. people no longer dislike you because of you, but for your biting words. it's better this way, after all. at least now you know it's your own fault.

tagged by: no one but i saw @stagborne did it and i wanted to do it! tagging: anyone who wants to do it too

[konkuuritobyebye]

CONTINUED FROM. | @stagborne

"no, idiot, it doesn't take a medical professional to understand that thrashing around everywhere will just make you lose more blood." jay huffs, peeling his own jacket off his arms and pressing it to will's gaping wound. will is right about one thing--it's really in jay's best interest to leave him bleeding out here on the pavement.

but... jay's nothing if not a firm believer in an eye for an eye. jay gets stabbed, someone else is getting stabbed. jay's back gets scratched... well, guess he's scratching will's now too. will helped him before. he didn't have to. jay would have likely been just another pallid corpse in the middle of that bloodbath had will not helped him before.

well... and jay fucking hates owing anyone anything. an eye for an eye. equal weights on both ends of the scale--he will owe a fed nothing.

"and for the record, i do know how to stitch wounds, so if you want to wait here and stop yapping, i can get the first aid kit from my car." he stands up slowly, gesturing to will. "hold your hands over the jacket. tightly, don't be a pussy about it. i'll be right back."

yeah. an eye for an eye. that's what he tells himself, over and over again. it couldn't be that, despite all his hatred for everyone and everything, despite his vehement distrust of everyone, there is a soul there still. even knowing will is a fed, could very well still turn him in... he isn't going to leave him here to just die like a dog in the street.

[konkuuritobyebye]

Jay when the client doesn't have the money.

"i'm running a business here."

[eviefyres]

PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP MEME 0.2

over a year ago, i made this meme & since then, it’s blown up. so, over a year later — i thought i would make a new one. so here it is, after several requests & a pile of brains,  THE PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP MEME 0.2 send me a  ✿  and i’ll fill out the template below. bold for things i could definitely see or want, italics for things i could see or am unsure of and striked out for things i don’t want or cannot see.

FRIENDSHIP.     childhood friends  /  work buddies or coworkers  /  family friends  /  friends with benefits  /  smoking buddies  /  adventure buddies  /  fake friends  /  recently friends  /  party buddies  /  friendship of need  /  dying friendship  /  circumstantial friendship  /  partners in crime  /  old friendship  /  [ your muse ] is the good influence  /  [ your muse ] is the bad influence  /  [ my muse ] is the good influence  /  [ my muse ] is the bad influence  /  opposites attract  /  ride or die  /  frenemies  /  roommates or flatmates  /  penpals  /  exes to friends  /  enemies to friends  /  other

ROMANCE.     childhood sweethearts  /  [ your muse is mines ] childhood crush  /  [ my muse is yours ] childhood crush  /  exes  /  exes to lovers  /  forbidden lovers  /  highschool sweethearts  /  secret relationship  /  opposites attract  /  long distance  /  unrequited [ from your muses side ]  /  unrequited [ from my muses side ]  /  unrequited [ from both sides ]  /  skinny love  /  friends to lovers  /  enemies to lovers  /  spurious relationship  /  power couple  /  newly entered  /  soulmates [ metaphorical ]  /  soulmates  [ literal ]  /  awkward  /  turning toxic  /  toxic love  /  cheating [ on your muse ]  /  cheating [ with your muse ]  /  other 

FAMILIAL.     siblings [ half ]  /  siblings [ step ]  /  [ my muse ] is an older sibling figure to your younger sibling figure  /  [ my muse ] is a younger sibling figure to your older sibling figure muse  /  [ my muse ] is a parental figure to yours  /  [ my muse ] is a child figure to your muse  /  guardian figure  /  legal guardian  /  adoptive child  /  foster child  /  [ your muse ] is taken under mines wing  /  [ my muse ] is taken under yours wing  /  other

ANTAGONISTIC.     dangerous to each other  /  dangerous to others  /  unpredictable  /  rivals  /  petty  /  developing into sexual or romantic tension  /  based off family matters  /  based of off circumstance  /  based of professional matters  /  based off misunderstanding or lies  /  conflict of ideology  /  betrayal  /  hero - villain dynamic  /  enemies  /  fight club  /  friends turned enemies  /  lovers turned enemies  /  exes turned enemies  /  other 

[foliosriot]

i’m sick!! i’m deranged!!

[konkuuritobyebye]

" why do you have a gun? " from caitlyn lsakdjf

and jay thought he was a fucking creep. dark brown eyes blink at her several times--he had been lazily stretching his arms out above him to try to loosen the kinks in his back. hadn't seen caitlyn standing there, watching, a hawk circling its prey, scrutinizing grass and undergrowth to be able to swoop down. she must've seen the holster underneath his jacket when he stretched out.

yeah, she's a hawk circling overhead. a hawk with a bug up her ass, determined to stick her nose where it doesn't fucking belong. if only jay could just... get rid of her. but... he'd never do that to casper.

"oh. i always carry." not really a lie, he's been carrying since the days a gun still felt heavy in little hands. he folds his arms, meeting her gaze as evenly as always. not one to be intimidated by casper's sister. she's smelled a rat since the moment they met, but what she doesn't know is... they're good together. they're great together. that jay would do anything for casper. die for him. he has before, hasn't he? and he would again.

"i'm from LA. a few people i know have had bad experiences, so i just... don't really feel safe walking around without a means to defend myself these days." a faint head tilt now. "i'm sure you understand. world isn't all ponies and unicorns, and... even moreso these days, the cops who are supposed to keep us safe make us feel just as afraid."

[konkuuritobyebye]

shh, it’s okay. it was just a dream. — Jennifer Check

"no, it wasn't. i was awake. i swear i was awake. i know sometimes people's dreams are real, but i know i was awake." he saw all the blood. saw the monster tearing those boys apart, he just couldn't make out the figure completely.

of course, he's always been a coward, been a coward since the day he was born. so now... he comes to face with her. jennifer, who's been so kind to him since the moment they met. talked to him, even despite his awkwardness, his clear shyness around miss popular. she's always been accomodating. so why is there a chill up his back when he looks at her now?

"--i need to get out of here." his voice wavers. sneakers step backwards, and he wrings his hands together. shaky hands. "i need to get out of here, right now." without waiting for a response, he whirls around, all too aware of the gun on the inside of his jacket.

[konkuuritobyebye]

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐑𝐊𝐒 & 𝐇𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐒. ›‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ repost with your answers. ‎ ‎ bold → always. italic → sometimes/depends. strikethrough → in the past. none → doesn’t apply.

likes artificial watermelon  |  sleeps in what they are already wearing  |  eats their cereal with milk |  listens to music with earbuds  |  hates the summer  |  can recite past the first four digits of pi  |  eats frosting out of the jar  |  doodles on their notebooks  |  can bake cookies  |  has a garden  |  has had a snowball fight  |  eats pancakes without syrup  |  prefers shorts over pants  |  can name more than ten superheroes  |  has a plan for the zombie apocalypse  |  uses the same password for everything |  can’t hold their breath for more than fifteen seconds  |  watches anime  |  hasn’t read twilight  |  can say ‘ i love you ‘ in more than one language  |  prefers mechanical pencils  |  thinks space is cool  |  takes personality tests more than once to make sure  |  can’t tie their shoelaces  |  has a purse  |  likes salads  |  likes cool colors better than warm colors  | knows how to braid hair |  reads biographies  |  can ice skate  |  knows their mbti  |  reads astrology charts  |  prefers the star wars prequels to the original trilogy  |  plays video games  | reads the newspaper  |  likes chocolate ice cream best  |  doesn’t cuss  |  memorises song lyrics  |  collects coupons  |  has a preferred order at cafés‎ ‎ |  likes movie theater popcorn  |  has seen a play  |  listens to music with headphones  |  owns a hoodie  |  would rather own cds than online copies  |  has written a poem  |  can shuffle cards  |  subscribes to a magazine |  double dips when eating  |  drinks directly out of the milk container  |  keeps a journal.

tagging: @stagborne @echolaliia (whoever you would like! ) , @spectralhour @audaciiae also whoever!

[eviefyres]

PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP MEME 0.2

over a year ago, i made this meme & since then, it’s blown up. so, over a year later — i thought i would make a new one. so here it is, after several requests & a pile of brains,  THE PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP MEME 0.2 send me a  ✿  and i’ll fill out the template below. bold for things i could definitely see or want, italics for things i could see or am unsure of and striked out for things i don’t want or cannot see.

FRIENDSHIP.     childhood friends  /  work buddies or coworkers  /  family friends  /  friends with benefits  /  smoking buddies  /  adventure buddies  /  fake friends  /  recently friends  /  party buddies  /  friendship of need  /  dying friendship  /  circumstantial friendship  /  partners in crime  /  old friendship  /  [ your muse ] is the good influence  /  [ your muse ] is the bad influence  /  [ my muse ] is the good influence  /  [ my muse ] is the bad influence  /  opposites attract  /  ride or die  /  frenemies  /  roommates or flatmates  /  penpals  /  exes to friends  /  enemies to friends  /  other

ROMANCE.     childhood sweethearts  /  [ your muse is mines ] childhood crush  /  [ my muse is yours ] childhood crush  /  exes  /  exes to lovers  /  forbidden lovers  /  highschool sweethearts  /  secret relationship  /  opposites attract  /  long distance  /  unrequited [ from your muses side ]  /  unrequited [ from my muses side ]  /  unrequited [ from both sides ]  /  skinny love  /  friends to lovers  /  enemies to lovers  /  spurious relationship  /  power couple  /  newly entered  /  soulmates [ metaphorical ]  /  soulmates  [ literal ]  /  awkward  /  turning toxic  /  toxic love  /  cheating [ on your muse ]  /  cheating [ with your muse ]  /  other 

FAMILIAL.     siblings [ half ]  /  siblings [ step ]  /  [ my muse ] is an older sibling figure to your younger sibling figure  /  [ my muse ] is a younger sibling figure to your older sibling figure muse  /  [ my muse ] is a parental figure to yours  /  [ my muse ] is a child figure to your muse  /  guardian figure  /  legal guardian  /  adoptive child  /  foster child  /  [ your muse ] is taken under mines wing  /  [ my muse ] is taken under yours wing  /  other

ANTAGONISTIC.     dangerous to each other  /  dangerous to others  /  unpredictable  /  rivals  /  petty  /  developing into sexual or romantic tension  /  based off family matters  /  based of off circumstance  /  based of professional matters  /  based off misunderstanding or lies  /  conflict of ideology  /  betrayal  /  hero - villain dynamic  /  enemies  /  fight club  /  friends turned enemies  /  lovers turned enemies  /  exes turned enemies  /  other