eventide / pjm • jjk
angst, moments of fluff, implied smut
tw: absent partner, sex, cold approaches, miscarriage, trauma, anxiety, breakdowns, heavy sadness
wc: 3.1k
jimin x reader / jungkook x reader
e·ven·tide
/ˈēvənˌtīd/
noun ARCHAIC•LITERARY
the end of the day; evening.
“mmhmmm, jungkook.” your moans were released in the cold air as your husband grind his hips over you. you don’t even know if he responded through his guttural moans, but you highly doubt it, knowing him, he won’t.
“i’m close, i have a zoom meeting in fifteen.” you nodded by his husky voice giving you a heads-up.
not so long after, you heard the well-known sound of the door shutting, your eyes being synchronous with it after you pulled the blanket over your bare body.
jeon jungkook, one of the most famous lawyers of the generation, being the youngest to be one just by his exemplary performance and his firm being known in the whole country. your husband.
you two met at a gala dinner your parents both attended, he’s able to charm your parents within a few meets, and forthwith entice you soon after.
your relationship with him is one for the books, everyone was jealous of your so-called perfect relationship. and what shook the corporate world was when he decided to take your hand in for marriage 3 years after.
knowing him as the most romantic, and the ideal husband material, you agreed without second thinking.
but everything changed when you found the fruit of your love by your thighs, dripping shades of red after you fell off a surface.
that was about two years ago, you didn’t know, you were heartbroken as well as jungkook, but what stunned you is his sharp glares the second you opened your eyes on the hospital bed.
he never spewed a word about blaming you for it, but the change of his actions were more than enough for you to validate your claims.
–
being the famous person he is, the two of you were invited to attend a charity auction event that was hosted by one of the top clients of jungkook’s law firm.
it was a grandiose program being adorned by famous business people, even some A-class celebrities, also by a person too familiar for you not to notice, park jimin.
sitting at your designated table with some aged up people jungkook is conversing with, you fondled with the beads of your dress before a woman approached you.
“good evening, mrs. jeong!” you greeted back as she occupied the empty seat between you and her husband.
jungkook also turned to approach the reputable lady. after a few topics about paintings, homeware, designer brands, even food recipes, it is when she decided to dive in for a topic too fragile for you.
“so when are you planning to have kids?” you know it is an invasive topic but given her age, you just decided to force a smile. but your husband has other plans on what to answer.
“that’s not actually included in our plans for the time being, mrs. jeong.” he managed to end his answer with a smile as if he doesn’t know the tension that is consuming you right now.
your fingers picking up your skin under the table didn’t manage to escape jungkook’s eyes. you approached him a few times about the matter but he deliberately declined your invite to talk about it further.
his answer to mrs. jeong’s question unintentionally answered your question too.
–
too occupied with overthinking what your husband said earlier, you gleaned your food loosely.
does he still blame me?
i know he doesn’t love me anymore but did he really love me?
what could’ve happened if i’d been more careful?
it must’ve been nice to have your child with you today. everything must’ve been better.
what if i accepted his offer?
“park jimin, bid twice the starting price!” the voice of the emcee managed to clap you out of your thoughts.
the man on the wide led screen, a distinct individual you revere.
you looked up to him as his black hair being brushed up cleanly and a strand falling through his dreamy eyes, his glowing skin, his endearing lips, his warm existence.
park jimin. the man you clung on when you were at your darkest, when everything around you consumed you whole. the person who escaped with you, the chance you never took, someone that was ready to give you the opportunity to be someone free, but which you wasted.
the people around you don't know how much you felt alive every time you were with jimin, even if it is mostly just by midnight, by the wee hours, where no one knows you, when you are happy you exist without judgment. no one knew about this, just a happy little secret between the two of you, just before it ended bitterly.
–
1 and ½ years ago.
“jungkook, please. please talk to me.” you practically begged for your husband to give you attention, grabbing his thighs and lowering yourself to kneel, just for him to talk to you.
“i’m sorry, it was my fault, i’m sorry, please forgive me.”
“you can hurt me, you can curse at me, just please talk to me baby. i miss you so much.”
you don’t know how many times you said those words to your husband when you wanted to talk to him, to just feel him around.
when you saw him drifting for the door, deciding to leave, it was when all your thoughts went through your head.
“j-jungkook, don’t leave me, love please, don’t leave me.” you were left by the floor of your house’s living room when jungkook forced his way out.
you heard his car’s engine and by instinct you ran through the door without anything with you. not your wallet, not your phone, not even a coat or an umbrella to shield you from the torrential rain.
you know he’s gonna come back after a few days but your clouded mind just wanted to talk to him, apologize, beg for his attention in the aim to fix your relationship.
you were running mindlessly as your tears and the raindrops cloud your vision, when it’s time you didn’t see the lights of his car in the dark night, you let your body drop by the sidewalk.
when the strong downpour lessened to a constant drizzle, you walked yourself without proper direction. you saw a waiting shed and decided to sit there, it has quite a lengthy distance to your house but you didn’t mind.
besides you don’t want to be in the looming presence of somewhere you once declared a home full of love, because it is far beyond that right now.
“y/n? what are you doing here?” a voice coming inside a car in front of you caught your attention.
“why are you so drenched? where’s jungkook?” jimin, jungkook’s highschool classmate, the one he’s always pitted against.
“i don’t know.” the only thing you managed to say, because for real, you don’t know, you don’t know everything about him since the day you miscarried your child.
no one knew about that incident besides the two of you, no one did, owing you the most consuming months of your life.
jimin led you to his car after he wrapped you in his jacket. he immediately adjusted the car’s heater while he looked at your miserable state.
he drove to his flat and lent you clean clothes. you accepted it without even looking, you heedlessly went to the bathroom, leaving jimin too concerned behind you.
when you realized you were staying inside the bathroom for too long, you decided to go out.
“thank you, jimin. i should go home already. i’m really sorry for the hassle.” you told jimin as you were so ashamed of the hassle you’ve caused him.
“is there someone at your house?” the man before you asked.
“i don’t think so. jung-jungkook, he left.” you deliberately tried to finish your sentence and it is very inevitable for jimin to have the gist of your situation.
jimin did not want to invade even though he is curious why a man would leave his wife alone in the rain, particularly for a man like jungkook whom he knew as a man of honor. he knows that it is normal to have fights between couples but it must be really bad to reach this certain point.
“you should stay then, it’s still raining. i can take the couch.” he told you, the idea actually persuaded you, as you hated the idea of being alone.
it is a bizarre idea when a married woman comes to sleep over another man’s house, but you can’t say no to jimin’s offer, you need company, with all due innocence.
“no, i’ll sleep on the couch.” you protested. “are you sure?” you assured him with a nod.
“ok if that’s what makes you comfortable.”
–
needless to say, you've built a connection with jimin after that encounter. the two of you exchanged messages frequently. you managed to brush up jungkook’s menacing gestures, even for just a while.
having sex with jungkook, your husband has become more of a routine that it should be, it was nonchalant, casual, as if it is reminding you every time that the two of you are doing it just to release and never because of affection that once drew the two of you together.
what hurt you more is when you decided to move out of your room to occupy one of the guest rooms because you felt the need to, and he didn’t even show a bit of reaction and just agreed.
it sucks to think that your marriage dwindled, and it’s like just waiting for him to drop the declaration of separation anytime soon but you can’t do anything about it.
–
jimin park: 23:40 ┃ on for a cvs trip?
you: 23:44 ┃ sure, but how?
jimin park: 23:45 ┃ you’re sleeping downstairs right?
you: 23:46 ┃ yes
jimin park: 23:46 ┃ jump out of your window
you: 23:47 ┃ are you sure?
you: 23:48 ┃ok i’ll try, wait for me at the end of the block
and that is how you’re now with jimin, by the seashore, eating ramen while listening to the sound of the waves.
“are you sure you don’t want beer?” you asked him as you raised your second can, he shook his head, “i need to drive y/n. i’m fine with my tteokbokki and coke.”
“jimin, do you think they have forgiven me?” you asked jimin as the alcohol started to creep within your entirety.
“hmmm?” jimin turned his head when he is just about to poke a rice cake
“my child.”
“your child? you’re pregnant?” the man beside you exclaimed
“no, i killed my child, jimin. i was not careful enough.” you dropped the empty can by the pavement you’ve been sitting on
“but i didn’t know, i didn’t want that to happen either, i didn’t know, i didn’t kno-” you were not able to finish what you were saying because you choked on your own breath.
jimin grabbed you and hugged you as he let you vent out, he knows you needed this, for the longest time, “if only i knew, i should’ve been more careful, it was my fault, i’m so sorry, i’m sorry.”
when you fell asleep crying on jimin’s arms by 1 in the morning, he tucked you in the front seat of his car and got you hot chocolate to drink when you woke up.
“it’s now 3 in the morning, y/n. aren’t you tired, let me drop you off.” you nodded agreeing to his concern
you feel awake now, thanks to the hot chocolate that jimin gave you to sober up. your breakdown session has been long forgotten. you were feeling the cool breeze of dawn when jimin pressed a button and the roof of his car subsided.
you raised your hands and even stood up. “be careful, y/n.” you stared at the pretty sight of the city lights by the boulevard. “wow jimin, this is so beautiful, thank you, thank you so much.”
you don’t know how to voice out your gratitude to jimin, you’ve never felt so liberated for the longest time making jimin chuckle at your innocence.
it is disappointing to compare but you never felt this feeling with jungkook, it’s always corporate, formal, put together.
you loved that yes, but having this new experience you would hate to admit but you love this more.
–
your midnight rendezvous with jimin went on and on with a new experience every time. it would go on after you and jungkook had each other and when he left your room already or vice versa, you would jump out the window and find jimin waiting for you at the end of the block.
biking by the han river, climbing by the walls of seoul fortress, eating by the food tents in the most seldom places, and more of those.
tonight you’re at the dongdaemun plaza which houses the beautiful roses that glows through the night.
“hey y/n, pose right there that’s a good angle!”
“you look tall there, jimin, let me take a picture!”
“let’s take a selfie, jimin.” you told him, “then it should be on my phone right?”
you posed for some wacky shots with jimin, having the pretty roses as your background.
you can’t help to remember the day jungkook gave you flowers for the first time, it was roses, big ecuadorian roses which made your chest somersault with emotion.
those days were so good, you never thought the two of you would end up like this.
you shook off the thought of your faded marriage and just went to live by the moment, just what jimin taught you subconsciously.
–
after a few drinks you shared with jimin, the two of you went to his place for you to get his car for him to drive you home.
while walking, you can sense the pressure between the two of you, it is like one wants to speak but cannot.
“y/n.” jimin’s saccharine voice turned into a hoarse one that caught your attention, making you halt your way to his main door.
“hmm?” you responded. jimin removed his signature black cap that the two of you wear every time you’re together.
“stay with me.” he said. “jimin you know i should go home, jungkook might be angry if i don’t.”
“no, y/n. terminate your marriage with him. can’t you see he doesn’t care about you.” he spewed, quite emotionally agitated. “you deserve better.”
that is when your tears come streaming down your face, you know for yourself that you don’t deserve the treatment you’re getting from your husband. what’s more sad is knowing another person is aware of your awful situation.
jimin, a certain someone that knows you’re not okay, that you shouldn’t be in the circumstances you experience, he actually doesn’t care if you don’t like him, all he wants to happen is for you to be unconfined of the past that is exhausting you.
yes, he can attend to your midnight plans for the longest time, as long as he could, he would bring you to places you’ve never been to, explore cheap restaurants every night, skip drinking every time you do to safely drive you home.
but what he can’t endure is the look on your swollen eyes every time he comes to fetch you when you request for his company, the sadness that occupies your entire body every moment you go down his car and walk to the place you share with jungkook.
he knows no genuine, lovable person like you should experience the way you’re suffering. “you deserve better, y/n.”
“n-no, jimin, i can’t leave him. i love him, i love jungkook.” you shakingly said, “what the fuck.” jimin cursed under his breath. “are you sure you still love him? or you’re just convincing yourself that you still do?”
“i-i’m sorry, jimin. i deserve all of this, i’m at fault.” you cried more. “no, y/n, no, you didn’t do anything wrong, you don’t owe anyone apologies, you don’t deserve any of this misery.” he came to hug your distressed figure. “i should go home.” you declared, jimin held your waist but you prevented him. “i’ll go alone.”
“what? no, y/n. it’s 3 in the morning, it's very dangerous.” he countered, “please, jimin, i need the time alone, i hope you understand.” you plead. he didn’t talk after, you took your cue to go outside and walk yourself home.
–
obscurely, you didn’t know jimin walked behind you, making sure you still went home safely. he saw how you carried the weight of everything by your feet walking so slow, occasional wiping of tears with the sleeves of your hoodie, he can’t help to be angry but his priority is to respect your decision. he knows, he would always be ready for when you call for him.
you don’t know what has gotten inside you that you went to pass through the main door of your house. the beeping noises of the door lock, you won’t lie you actually expected jungkook to be behind the door, be angry at you for going home at this hour. at least that would make a conversation between the two of you, right?
but unlucky you, he wasn’t there.
what you saw is your wedding portrait hanging in the living room, it’s wounding presence is like poking more hurt within you. when was the last time you saw him smile, his bunny smile. when was the last time you felt his presence, excluding your time in the sheets.
–
the days and weeks passed by, no jimin notifying your phone, things are still the same with your husband. honestly, you can’t stop thinking about what happened with jimin and the things he told you. but you already made your decision. you can’t leave jungkook.
–
present
“are you seriously gonna gawk at someone's boyfriend?” your husband’s voice woke you up to reality. “ah, n-no.” you stammeringly answered. yeah, staring at someone’s boyfriend for too long must be rude.
“oh, hi jeon!” the man in talks approached you and your husband after he went off the stage to claim the certificate for the painting he bidded on. “what’s up, park?” your husband replied. and when he turned to you, “y/n, you look so pretty tonight, isn’t it your birthday today?”
you were caught off guard by how he remembered your birthday, out of all people, he did. “oh? yes.” you shyly agreed. by your peripheral vision, you saw your husband’s perplexed face, of course, he wouldn’t remember, you expected nothing. “happy birthday, y/n!” someone beside jimin spoke. “oh, this is chaeyoung, my girlfriend.”
your partner in your midnight rendezvous is already happy with someone else, he deserves it, all the love he’s receiving, his partner is so lucky, you know that for sure.
while you, you were stuck with the decision you’ve made for yourself. stuck in hoping for another eventide to feel alive, even for once again.
