every day, every moment spent away from hide while he healed was exhausting, torture. that’s why he has to make up for it, by spending as much time as possible by his side, clinging to patience & hope for dear life.
hide had chosen an awkward moment to wake up, ( surprise, surprise. hide was always like that, always with perfect timing, ) as kaneki had left the room to rid his mind of doubt & frustration. how many days has it been now ?? how many weeks ?? of kaneki’s accord, stupidity, recklessness… hide is - he’s hanging by a spider’s thread, & that thought wells tears in grey eyes. ( …it’s so painful. )
ccg hospital doors open swiftly as he dwindles back into the room, sniffling & close to breaking point. it isn’t until he sits down that he can make out brown eyes in his blurred vision, brown eyes belonging to somebody who is breathing & conscious & AWAKE. hide is awake. hide is…
❝hide !!❞ voice a register or two above an excited whisper, he has to test that his eyes aren’t deceiving him; he’s back on his feet, then his knees at the edge of the bed, creaking the springs as he leans over his clearly awake friend. ❝you’re - okay. thank goodness. thank goodness !!❞ he won’t cry again. no, he definitely… fuck, he can’t control it now, settling back & weeping into his palms. for so long, he has watched this vibrant figure reduce to this weak, bedridden, crippled & dull being. hide hasn’t been BRIGHT, he hasn’t been hide is so long that kaneki was beginning to give up, but… !! here he is, AWAKE, as vivid as ever.
❝hide - i’m sorry. i’m so sorry, hide.❞ he spouts his name as if it’ll keep him around for longer, as if it’ll encourage him to heal faster, ❝hide. hide, are you okay ?? how are you feeling, hide ??❞
hide softly finds himself groaning from behind the tube in his throat. he doesn’t process the words, not at first; it’s slow coming to him, no matter how much he tries to make sense of them, at first. so he just watches kaneki, aware of the sudden pressure and weight on the bed as it creaks with kaneki on it.
“he...man...ta?” what? the utari word comes first; it’s all hide can do to PROCESS a preferred language at first, and even then, the sounds are muffled with the obstruction in his way. but his eyes grow as alert as they can be; hide slowly starts focusing on kaneki, following him around the room as his hand twitched.
“ka....kane....ki?” he gets out next, the sound still muffled as hide whimpers, trying to move and failing. he can’t get anything to move, no matter how much effort he puts in, and it’s making hide far too upset. he settles for a pathetic look instead, as it’s all the effort he can give, and instead, hide finds the energy from speaking two words to be more than he should have given, and his head weakly lays on the side, although his eyes remain locked onto kaneki, the man laying down clearly alert, albeit rather confused to what was going on.
he doesn’t give anymore words after that, his breathing slowing back down as hide starts to do it automatically once more, no longer needing wheeze for words, and he slowly half-smiles around the tube in his mouth. if kaneki was here, it couldn’t be that bad, right?
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