✿SYNOPSIS. when chris texted an artist he found on instagram with the hopes of them designing an album cover for him, he never expected to fall head over heels in love with them.
PAIRING. bangchan x artist!reader
GENRE. smau, strangers to lovers
WARNINGS. little bit of suggestiveness, angst
CHAPTERS.
001. out now!
002. out now!
003. out now!
004. out now!
005. out now!
006. out now!
007. out now!
008. out now!
009. out now!
010. out now!
011. out now!
012. out now!
013. out now!
014. out now!
015. out now!
epilogue. coming soon...
A/N. this is dedicated to my favorite anon everrrr, aka 🦇 anon, as a congratulations for graduating and getting a super cool job. LOVE YOU POOKIE AND I HOPE YOU LOVE THIS
synopsis: Seungcheol struggles with his feelings for his best friend, y/n, who is caught in a complicated relationship. As he watches her suffer from heartbreak, he finds it increasingly difficult to conceal his love for her.
paring: seungcheol x fem! reader.
genre:friends2lovers
warning/s:mentions of substances (alcohol) some minor sexy stuff, but not much really.
word count: 8.6k
content: . non-idol idolings, big brother Joshua. asshole boyfriends yk. Cheol is painfully in love.
note: non edited prob weird typos, xo.
Seungcheol stood outside the bustling café, the familiar sound of laughter and chatter spilling through the door like an intoxicating aroma. He had been meaning to meet his friends here for a while, but his heart wasn’t in it tonight. Instead, it felt heavy, aching at the thought of her—Y/n, his best friend and the girl who had unknowingly stolen his heart.
They had grown up together, their lives intertwined like the branches of the old oak tree that sat as the bridge between their childhood bedrooms. Seungcheol had always been protective of y/n, watching from the sidelines as she navigated the ups and downs of her life. But just recently, something had shifted between them, a current of unspoken words and emotions that neither dared to acknowledge.
He pushed open the door and made his way through the crowd, scanning the room until his eyes landed on her. Y/n sat at a corner table, her hair cascading over her shoulders, lost in conversation with another friend. But Seungcheol could see it in her eyes—the flicker of worry, the slight downturn of her lips. He knew her better than anyone, and lately, she had seemed off.
His heart raced as he approached the table, steeling himself for the inevitable conversation. “Hey, Soojin, Y/n.” he greeted, forcing a smile despite the turmoil brewing inside him.
“Seungcheol! You made it!” Y/n exclaimed, the warmth of her voice wrapping around him like a comfort blanket. But as her expression shifted to one of concern, he could see the cracks behind her cheerful facade.
“You okay?” he asked, unable to hide the worry in his own voice.
“Yeah, just... a lot going on,” she said, brushing it off. “Nothing I can’t handle.”
Seungcheol glanced at her friend, who seemed to sense the underlying tension and quickly excused herself. The moment of solitude felt charged, and Seungcheol knew they needed to talk.
“Listen, if something’s bothering you, you can tell me,” he urged, leaning forward. “I’m your friend, Bunny. I want to help.”
She sighed, running a hand through her hair. “It’s just... Alex, dating has been, and it’s... complicated. I think he might be seeing someone else.”
Seungcheol remembered when Y/n first started dating her current partner, he was alright, nothing special compared to the girl who was standing in front of him.
past
When he first met y/n boyfriend she had just gotten back from college for the weekend as Seungcheol stepped onto her front lawn waiting inside patiently next to y/n’s brother Joshua, he was considering running down the sidewalk to her when a guy appeared out of the front seat to hug her mother. It was in a flash of a moment he knew this guy was her boyfriend.
Seungcheol's heart sank, but he tried impossible hard to maintain a composed exterior. He forced a smile and greeted y/n with a wave as she approached, her boyfriend trailing beside her. Joshua nudged Seungcheol gently, giving him an encouraging nod.
"Hey, Seungcheol!" y/n called out, her voice filled with genuine warmth. "It's so good to see you!"
"Good to see you too, Bunny," Seungcheol replied, his voice steady. "How is school, my little scholar?"
"It’s been great, but I’ve missed home, especially your mom’s cooking," she said, glancing at her boyfriend. "Oh, Shit. I should introduce you! This is Alex."
Alex extended a hand towards Seungcheol. "Nice to meet you, man."
"Nice to meet you too," Seungcheol said, shaking his hand firmly. He noticed how Alex's grip was strong but not overbearing, a sign of confidence and respect.
The four of them stood there for a moment, the air filled with unspoken words. Joshua, sensing the tension, quickly suggested, "Why don't we all head inside? Mom made us some lemonade. Feel free to spike it yourself."
Of course they all agreed, and as they walked towards the house, Seungcheol couldn't help but steal a glance at y/n. She seemed happy, and that was what mattered most to him, even if it meant watching from the sidelines.
Inside, the house was filled with the comforting aroma of freshly squeezed lemon, probably just a room spray her mom thought would make her lemonade pop more, which helped make Cheol smile even more. y/n's mother greeted them with a warm smile, her eyes twinkling with joy at having her two kids home. The group settled into the cozy living room, the atmosphere gradually easing into one of laughter and shared stories.
Seungcheol listened intently, contributing when he could, but mostly observing the dynamics between y/n and Alex. He noticed the small gestures of affection, the way they seemed to understand each other with just a glance. It was clear they shared a deep connection.
As the evening wore on, Seungcheol felt a mix of emotions. There was an undeniable pang of that little green monster creeping in, but also a sense of acceptance. He realized that y/n's happiness was the most important thing, and if Alex was the one who brought that to her, then he would do his best to support her wholeheartedly.
Later, after many sneaks to Joshua’s hidden liquor, too many slices of pizza, and card games, they all stood on the porch saying their goodbyes, y/n gave Seungcheol a tight hug. "It really is good to see you, Seungcheol. Don't be a stranger, okay?"
"I won't," he promised, his voice sincere. "Take care of yourself, y/n."
“You know I always do,” she gripped onto his sweatshirt sleeve, and flashed her award winning smile his way, “And if I find myself in need of a body guard I’ll be sure to call you.”
With one last wave, Seungcheol watched as she and Alex walked down the driveway, hand in hand. He sighed softly, turning to Joshua who gave him a sympathetic look.
"Come on," Joshua said, clapping a hand on his shoulder. "Let's go get a beer, bro. My treat."
Seungcheol nodded, grateful for Joshua's friendship. As they walked away, he couldn't help but feel a glimmer of hope. Life had a way of surprising you, and he knew that his story was far from over.
A few months had passed now and finally the sun was shining brightly as their friend group gathered around the picnic table, laughter and chatter filling the air. Plates of food were being passed around, and the aroma of grilled meat wafted through the garden. Which sure, sounded a little gross, but it was just another sign of the changing of seasons, but not the changing of where his heart was gravitating. Y/N was in her element, flitting from one group to another, her energy infectious.
Seungcheol watched her from a distance, like he usually would, holding a fond smile on his lips. He couldn't help but marvel at how effortlessly she brought people together, how her presence seemed to light up even the most simple of places.
"Hey, earth to Idiot!" Y/N's voice broke through his daydream. She was standing in front of him, hands on her hips and a playful glint in her eyes. "Are you ready for our trip tomorrow?"
He grinned, nodding enthusiastically. "Of course. Wouldn't miss it for the world."
"I knew you’d never disappoint me!" she exclaimed, her smile widening. "It's going to be the best one yet, I can feel it. Something about the smell of the rain this year tells my heart the flowers will be perfect.”
Seungcheol chuckled, captivated by her excitement. "You and your weird as fuck sixth sense about flowers," he teased gently.
She punched him playfully. "Hey, don't underestimate my flower intuition. It's never wrong. It’s like how you always can for some reason tell how many people got a draft beer before you based on some fucked up freshness level you created. I mean we could always take a bet and see who everyone thinks is more insane.”
As the evening wore on, they continued to chat and laugh, the anticipation for their trip growing with each passing moment. The backyard was now filled with the soft glow of fairy lights, casting a magical ambiance over the gathering. And Seuncheol was still sitting with Y/n listening to her talk on and on about her new weird interests.
"Remember the first time we went on this trip?" Y/N asked, her gaze distant as she reminisced. "We got lost for hours, and you were so convinced that we were going to get mauled by a bear or a cougar or something?”
“We didn’t have gas or cell service. I feel like it was a fair assumption to make.” Seungcheol smiled, feeling slightly embarrassed remembering how he embarrassed himself around her even though he’s sure there were worse incidents.
“But, we were at a reststop.”
“But it was pouring rain, y/n. Come on.”
“Fine, I’ll let you have it,” she ruffled her pretty hands through his hair “I still think you’re silly.”
“You’re always so mean to me, when I do everything for you.”
“It’s just so easy.”
“By the way,” Seungcheol rubbed his slightly sweaty palms on his jeans, “Where’s Alex this weekend?”
“Uh,” Y/n gave him a soft smile that he wasn’t so convinced was real, “With his parents in Antigua I think? Not sure, some weird beach vacation. Sounds boring.”
Seungcheol raised an eyebrow, sensing the underlying tension in Y/n's tone. “Antigua, huh? Must be nice,” he replied, his voice deliberately casual, though he couldn't help the hint of envy creeping in.
Y/n shrugged, her smile flickering momentarily. “Yeah, I guess. But honestly, I’d much rather be here, hanging out with you guys. This is way more fun. And don’t tell Josh, but I miss seeing him every day.”
“Seriously?” Seungcheol asked. “I mean, it’s a tropical paradise, and you’d choose me and your brother over that?”
“Absolutely,” she said, her gaze meeting him with sincerity. “Why would I want to be stuck on a beach when I could be here, laughing and just… being ourselves? This is way more my style.”
Her words warmed him, but a knot of unease tightened in his stomach. “So, no Alex for the weekend, then,” he said, trying to keep his tone light. “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”
Y/n bit her lip, a flicker of thought crossing her face. “Honestly, I don’t know. I guess it’s a bit of both? It’s nice to have some time to myself. But… you know how it is.” She trailed off, her eyes drifting away as if contemplating something deeper.
“Yeah, I do. Relationships can be complicated,” Seungcheol replied, his heart racing at the opportunity. “If you ever need to talk about anything, I’m here for you. You know that, right?”
She turned back to him, and her expression softened. “Thanks, Seungcheol. That means a lot.”
As the evening wore on, Seungcheol found himself lost in conversations with old friends and making new ones. The atmosphere was warm and inviting, a perfect reflection of Y/N's spirit.
Later, as the stars began to twinkle in the night sky, Seungcheol and Y/N found themselves talking through their open childhood bedroom windows.
"Thanks for always being there, Seungcheol," Y/N said softly, her gaze fixed on picking at her nails..
He watched her, his heart swelling with affection. "Always, Y/N. That's what friends are for."
She leaned her head on her hand, and they stared at each other, both hoping that no matter where life took them, they would always have each other.
At that moment, Seungcheol realized that sometimes, the most beautiful places were the ones you were at with the people you cared about the most.
As Seungcheol sat in his dimly lit room, the flickering glow of the y/n’s Scooby-Doo night light shone in his window, transporting him back to the warmth of Y/n’s presence. He could picture her room perfectly: the walls adorned with posters of their favorite shows, remnants of their laughter still hanging in the air. It had always been a haven for her—a place where her dreams intertwined and her deepest secrets were shared.
Years passed quickly, and that cherished tradition of celebrating their friendship had drifted away like fall leaves caught in a breeze. Life took them in separate directions, and despite the countless apologies Y/n sent his way, Seungcheol could never quite shake the feeling of loss. He always believed that she knew how much those moments meant to him; her absence felt like a missing piece of his heart that was waiting to be filled.
While he tried to move on, dating a variety of girls who were kind and entertaining, none of them were Y/n. He often found himself comparing their laughter to hers, their quirks to the little things he cherished about her. It felt like an act of treason against the relationships he pursued, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop the old feelings from creeping back into his heart.
As he reflected on it all, frustration bubbling beneath the surface. Why couldn't he just let go? It was foolish to cling to a childhood crush on your best friend's little sister that seemed to grow more distant by the day. But deep down, he sensed that what he felt for Y/n was something more profound than a simple infatuation. She was his first crush, someone he confided in, and the keeper of so many memories that covered his soul with nostalgia and warmth.
It was during one of those restless nights, when the weight of her absence pressed heavily on his chest, that he made a decision. Seungcheol had to reach out to Y/n. No more waiting for the right moment or hoping for a chance meeting. He needed to tell her how he felt, how much he still cared, and how he longed for the connection they once shared.
Building up his courage the moment turned into an eternity as he waited, and just as doubt began to creep in, his phone buzzed, it was her calling him as if he had manifested catching up with her.
Seungcheol's heart raced as he saw Y/n's name flash across the screen. Just the sight of it sent a jolt of anxiety through him, he pushed it down and tried to take it as a reminder of all the times they had spent together, laughing until their sides hurt or sharing secrets late into the night, almost like excitement. He hesitated for a moment, his thumb hovering over the accept button, uncertainty warring with excitement.
But before he could overthink it any longer, he pressed "accept" and set his phone to the speaker. “Y/n?”
“Cheol!” Her voice was bright, and it ignited something deep within him—an undeniable longing. “I can’t believe I finally caught you. I’ve missed you so much, sorry for the phone tag, I have been so fucking busy.
“I’ve missed you too,” he replied, his voice steadier than he felt. “It’s been way too long. I was just thinking about texting you when you called.”
“I feel bad for not making it home to see you lately,” she admitted, a hint of regret in her tone. “But.. uh, I’d love to fix that. How about we get together this weekend, like we used to? Maybe invite Soojin? Joshua?”
“Let’s do it.” A smile spread across his face. “We can go to that bar we used to sneak into and catch a show legally now?”
“Sounds perfect. Do me a favor?” she said, genuine enthusiasm shining through her words.
“Yes?” he waiting on the other end of the line hearing her giggling slightly to herself.
“Wear that old Sonic Youth t-shirt you have?”
“Why would I wear that?”
“Not sure. I just like that t-shirt. Please?”
Seungcheol’s heart swelled at the thought of being with her again, but he also felt the weight of unresolved feelings pressing on him. They’d both changed, but would the bond they shared still resonate the same way? Would she see him as just her brother’s friend or as something more?
As they continued to chat, Seungcheol tried to gauge her tone, the way she spoke about her life, the little nuances that indicated where she stood. Y/n spoke about college, her friends, and of course Alex.Her enthusiasm was infectious. But every laugh pulled him further back into the past, to the innocent moments when everything had felt so uncomplicated.
“Hey, Y/n,” he ventured, his heart beating a little faster as he gathered his thoughts. “I’ve been meaning to ask… How are you handling everything? I know things have changed for both of us.”
Y/n paused, and he could almost hear her brain processing the question. “Honestly? It’s been a bit of a whirlwind. I’m still figuring things out, but having people around who care makes it easier.”
“Yeah, I feel that,” he said, wishing he could just lay bare his feelings, let his heart spill out the way they used to share their secrets. “You know, I’ve always been here if you need someone to talk to.”
Her voice softened, and he could sense the shift in the conversation. “I know, and I appreciate that, Cheol. You’ve always been there for me, just like… well, I cant think of something always there for something else, but you get it..”
They fell into a comfortable rhythm again, but as the call slowly wound down, Seungcheol felt a flicker of resolve.
As they said their goodbyes, he heard Y/n’s voice resonate with warmth, and for a moment, the distance between them felt almost non-existent. “See you this weekend, okay?”
“Yeah, I’m looking forward to it,” Seungcheol replied, his heart racing at the endless possibilities that lay ahead.
Closing his phone, he let out a deep breath, a smile breaking across his face. The connection he had yearned for was just around the corner, and as he lay back on his bed, he knew that this time, he wouldn’t hold back.
present:
His heart sank at the words, a wave of frustration washing over him. “You deserve so much better than that,” he said, trying to keep his voice steady. “Don’t let anyone treat you like you’re not worth it. How do you know he’s cheating on you?
Y/n took a shaky breath, the anguish evident in her expression. “I’ve seen the signs—the late nights, the changing passwords, the way he ducks away when I try to talk about us.” She paused, her voice cracking slightly. “I just feel it deep inside, like this gnawing instinct that something isn’t right.”
Seungcheol felt his protectiveness swell within him. The thought of anyone treating her poorly made his blood boil. “Those signs aren’t just coincidence, Y/n. People shouldn’t make you second-guess yourself like that.”
She looked down, her fingers tracing the patterns on her jeans. “I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but the more I try to brush it aside, the more it eats away at me. I just wish I had the strength to confront him.”
“You do have that strength,” he urged, leaning closer, wanting to make eye contact to convey just how serious he was. “You’re stronger than you think. No one should keep you in the dark or make you feel like you have to doubt yourself. But if you need my help or anyone elses you know you can ask us right? You don’t have to fight it alone. Is that why you’ve been avoiding us lately?”
“Yeah and I’m sorry I’m embarrassed. But what if I’m wrong? What if I confront him and it turns out I’m just being paranoid?” A single tear slipped down her cheek, and she wiped it away in frustration, the vulnerability on display pulling sharply at Seungcheol’s heart.
“Y/n, you’re not paranoid; you’re being cautious. People should earn your trust, not break it. If he really cared about you, he’d be open and honest, not leave you guessing.” Seungcheol felt a surge of emotion, desperately wanting to help her see the truth. “You have every right to bring up your concerns. If he reacts poorly, that’s a huge huge fucking red flag.”
She nodded slowly, another tear escaping despite her efforts to contain them. “I just don’t want to lose more than what I already feel like I’ve lost.. I just don’t know what to do, I guess. I’m sorry I’m ruining our fun.”
At that moment, Seungcheol couldn’t help but reach out, gently cupping her chin with his fingers so she would look up at him. “You are never ruining our fun, by telling us how you feel. Remember, you’re the one who deserves to be valued, not just by him, but by everyone in your life, especially those who say they love you.”
Their eyes locked, and he felt a change in the air around them—a connection that transcended the conversation that was sinking like a stone. “You deserve love that lifts you up, that makes you feel secure. Not a relationship that makes you doubt your worth and changes your life poorly.”
“Cheol…” she started, but he could see the struggle in her eyes, the facade of strength crumbling as the truth sunk in. She was scared, scared of the possibilities, but perhaps also scared of how much this all mattered to her.
“I’ll be right here with you, no matter what happens,” he promised, his voice steady despite the tumultuous emotions swirling inside him. “We’ll figure this out together. You don’t have to face any of it alone.”
Y/n's expression softened, and the tension in her shoulders eased just a little. “Thank you. It just helps to know someone cares I guess.”
Seungcheol nodded, yearning to break through the last barriers between them. “I’ve always cared for you, Y/n. Always. And I’ll keep caring, no matter what.” Even as those words left his mouth, he felt a weight in his chest—he wanted her to see just how much more she meant to him than mere friendship, but the time for that would come later. Right now, she needed a friend in her corner, and he would be that friend, no matter what. “Should we have a drink now?”
She smiled at him again, giving him a side hug. “Yes, maybe some shots too?”
Seungcheol immediately got to his feet and winked as he bee-lined for the bar standing next to Joshua and Soojin, filling them in on his conversation with y/n. The three of them didn’t mention it the rest of the night, but just made sure to give her the best time dancing and forgetting about her shitty relationship issues before the alcohol settled in her system too much and Cheol had to carry her home.
Joshua unlocked their front door and slid into the house quietly rushing in the three other party goers in hopes not to wake his mom up considering it was a work night.
Y/n brother pulled her shoes off and rested them at the front door, basically begging Seungcheol to carry her up to her bedroom so he could go get Soojin some pajamas and change his sheets for her in his room which Cheol obliged being the most sober.
As he was carrying his friend to bed she looked up at him, her eyes shining with unshed tears. “I know I’m drunk, but I don’t want to get my hopes up only to be disappointed again. I just... feel so lost.”
Seungcheol felt a pang of concern as he adjusted his grip on her, his heart aching at the vulnerability etched across Y/n's face. He knew the night had been a whirlwind—filled with laughter, dancing, and fleeting moments of joy—but now, as he carried her up the stairs, her honesty pierced through the haze of alcohol.
“Hey,” he said softly, trying to keep his voice steady and reassuring. “It’s okay to feel lost. You’ve been through a lot. But just remember, you have lots of people riding for you.
Y/n blinked slowly, her features wavering as she processed his words. “I don’t want to burden you,” she admitted, almost whispering. “I don’t want you to be sad because of me.
Seungcheol paused just outside her bedroom door, carefully shifting her weight so she wasn't too uncomfortable. “You’re not a burden, Y/n. Friends support each other. That’s what we do.”
Her lips trembled slightly, and she looked down, tears pooling in her eyes. “I just... I wish I could see things clearly. I want to believe it’ll get better, but I’m scared it won’t.”
He took a deep breath, choosing his buzzed words carefully. “It’s natural to feel scared. Change is intimidating, especially when it comes to relationships that have been so significant in your life. But that doesn’t mean you can’t start taking the steps to find what you really deserve. Like we talked about earlier. You’re worth that big true love, Y/n, even if you can’t see it just yet.”
Looking into her eyes, he noticed the flicker of hope battling against the weight of her sorrow. “You deserve to feel loved, celebrated and so fucking cherished, not just tolerated. And trust me,” he added, trying to inject a touch of warmth into his words, “the right person will come along, maybe they already have. You’re incredible.”
Y/n’s gaze held onto his, searching for truth in his words. “Do you really think so?”
“Yes, loser,” he affirmed, nodding. “I’ve been singing your praises for years, remember I did write a letter to Harry Styles trying to get him to go out with you when he was still on X-Factor so until that person comes along, I’m right here.” He started moving again, gently pushing the door open with his knee.
As he stepped inside, he carefully laid her onto the bed, her comfort a priority in the quiet space. “Just rest for now. Tomorrow is a new day. You don’t have to worry about anything tonight. Just let it go.”
She looked up at him, her expression softening as the corners of her mouth edged toward a small smile. “Thanks, CheolieI don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“You’ll never have to find out,” he assured her, tucking the blanket around her. “You’re stuck with me now.” He grinned, feeling the lightness of the moment wash over them, dispelling some of the heavy emotions lingering in the air.
She laughed softly, a sound that melted some of the tension from his chest. “Okay, but just for tonight! Tomorrow, I’ll have to start figuring things out. And can you do me one more incredibly annoying awkward favor that we never have to speak of again?”
“Deal,” he replied playfully. “Depending on how embarrassing it is?”
“Can you help me put on my pajamas? Or at least unbutton my shirt for me, I’m so warm and too drunk to care right now.”
Seungcheol’s eyes widened in surprise, but he quickly masked his shock with a teasing grin. “Wow, is y/n too drunk to get undressed herself, it’s bringing me back to when you had your senior party.”
Y/n shrugged, her cheeks slightly flushed from the alcohol and the sudden vulnerability of the moment. “I’m serious! I can’t get the buttons right now,” she grumbled, a laugh escaping her lips as she realized just how ridiculous the request was.
“Shut up, it’s fine.” he said, trying to maintain the playful spirit of the moment while also respecting her boundaries. “But you have to promise me you won’t regret this in the morning.”
“How could anyone regret that the night star football player and homecoming king four years running Choi Seungcheol took their clothes off?” she replied with a slight smirk. “Can we actually stop fucking around though and focus on getting me comfy so I can pass out without feeling like I’m wearing a fucking straightjacket.”
“Didn’t know you thought so highly of me,” he smirked back, trying to suppress his nervousness. Carefully, he shifted to sit beside her on the edge of the bed, ensuring he kept the atmosphere light and respectful. “I’ll work my special magic.”
He helped her sit up and, taking a deep breath, gently began unbuttoning her shirt. With each button he opened, he focused on keeping his movements steady and casual,trying not to touch inappropriately whatsoever, stealing glances at her face rather than her torso. “See, I’m not so bad at this, right? Even being out of practice.” he joked, trying to ease any tension in the air.
Y/n chuckled softly, her laughter lightening the mood. “Yeah, you’re doing great. Just stop making it weird.”
“Me? Make it weird? Psh.” he teased back, his heart racing slightly as he continued, relieved that her demeanor was playful. As the last button came undone, he carefully helped her shrug the shirt off, revealing a soft bra top underneath.
“You literally just confessed to not getting laid in a long time, weirdo. Too much information.”
“God, shut up, I did not” he said, letting out a sigh of relief as he set the shirt aside. “Mission accomplished.. But it’s a good look, just so you know.”
“You’re just buttering me up to make me forget this moment, Cheol,” she replied, a mischievous glint in her eyes despite her slightly vulnerable state.
“Wouldn’t dream of it! This moment is going straight into the archives as ‘That Time I Helped Y/n Get Ready for Bed,” he said, crossing his arms defiantly.
Y/n giggled, shaking her head. “You’re ridiculous.
Seungcheol felt warmth radiate in his chest at her words. “And you’re worse,” he said genuinely, his smile softening. “Now get some rest, cutie. I’ll be right downstairs if you need anything else.”
“You can stay here if you want? Joshua is sleeping on the couch because Soojin’s in his room.”
“Oh, uh. I’ll be alright on the floor downstairs. You get some sleep okay?”
“Goodnight, Cheolie,” she whispered, nearly missing him calling her an affectionate name, her eyes fluttering shut as the warmth of sleep began to envelop her.
“Goodnight, Bunny.” He watched her peaceful expression for a moment, then stood up from the edge of her bed and made his way to the door, feeling a strange mix of emotions. On one hand, he felt pride in being there for her, but a flicker of longing stirred inside him, reminding him of how much he truly fell in love with her.
As he stepped out into the hallway, he leaned against the wall, contemplating going back in there and comforting her for the night but also how it could affect their friendship and the feelings that lingered just below the surface. Tonight wasn't just another night; it felt like a turning point. Seungcheol had no idea where it would ultimately lead, but for now, he was grateful to be her anchor, even in the midst of uncertainty.
The next morning rolled in like a thunder cloud for y/n, she remembered walking home, but not much after that. She sat up under her pink fuzzy blanket in nothing other than her bra and skirt she had on the night before, her hair smooshed up on the back of her head like a pancake.
She couldn’t remember how she had gotten there but whoever took her upstairs left a glass of water on the nightstand and two tylenol. She smiled, grateful people have always looked out for her like this. Downing the two white pills and the entire glass of water she shot up and headed for the bathroom, walking in non- chalantly thinking nobody was behind the white door. As she turned the knob a voice came ringing in her ears.
“Josh I told you- Oh,” Seungcheol was shirtless with nothing but his wet hair cascading down his face and his towel wrapped around his body parts.” Y/n sorry.. I was just uh.. Finished.”
She slapped her hands over her eyes whispering a sorry and running back into her room, feeling a blush hit her cheeks.
Y/n's heart raced as she slammed the bathroom door shut and ran down the hall slamming her bedroom door shut her back against it, her mind swirling with embarrassment. She could practically feel the heat radiating from her cheeks as she replayed the scene in her head. How had she not realized Seungcheol was right there?
After taking a moment to collect herself, she peeked out through her fingers, her heart still pounding. “No, no, no. Why did I have to walk in like that?” she muttered under her breath, doing her best to calm the embarrassment bubbling up inside her. She could still picture Seungcheol’s surprised expression,
With a deep breath, she reminded herself to take it easy. “You’re both adults.And your friends like it, it's fine. Mistakes happen,” she whispered, trying to rationalize the embarrassment.
Y/n slowly shuffled back to her bed and flopped down face-first into her pillow, groaning. “Why is this my life?” she lamented silently, wanting to sink into the depths of her blankets and hide from the world altogether.
After a couple of minutes spent wallowing in her own pity, she finally sat up and took stock of the situation. She had to laugh at herself; if anyone could handle a little awkwardness, it was definitely Seungcheol.
With newfound resolve, she decided to brush off the incident. After all, she couldn’t stay cooped up in her room forever, and eventually, she would have to interact with him.
Rubbing her eyes, she stood up, her body still feeling a bit wobbly from the residual effects of last night. She padded over to her wardrobe and found a comfy oversized sweatshirt and a pair of pajama shorts to throw on. Just as she was finishing zipping up the sweatshirt, her door creaked open, and she heard Seungcheol’s voice.
“Uh... hey, Y/n?”
She froze, heart racing at the thought of confronting him after their embarrassing encounter. “Y-yeah?” she replied, trying to keep her voice steady.
“I just wanted to check if you were okay. I heard you might have had a bit too much fun last night,” he said, his tone laced with gentle teasing but lacking the usual bravado.
Y/n felt her cheeks warm again, but she twisted the moment into playful sarcasm. “Yeah, I clearly have my life together. Who wouldn’t want to walk into a bathroom with a half-naked guy?”
His laughter echoed, and she couldn’t help but smile despite herself. “Well, I wasn’t exactly expecting a guest, either.”
“So, uh, thanks for... you know, taking care of me last night.”
“Of course,” he said softly, his voice filled with sincerity. “I’ll help you with whatever.”
She nodded, feeling a warmth spread through her chest at his words. “Yeah, but still! I really appreciate it.”
Seungcheol’s smile faded slightly, replaced with an earnest expression as he leaned against the doorframe. “Y/n,It’s not a big deal. I’ve been doing it for years, I don’t mind.”
She bit her lip, feeling that familiar flutter in her stomach at the intensity of his gaze and the sincerity behind it. “For real, Cheol. Thanks. I mean it. Just accept the sincerity.”
“Alright, alright,” he said, breaking the moment by giving her a grin, “Want to get some breakfast or something? I’ll whip us up something..”
“That sounds great,” she agreed, “But, I actually have something I need to go do today. How about I see you later? A movie or something maybe?”
“Yeah, you know where to find me.”
“Of course.”
If today was going to be the most awkward day of her life, fine. She could handle it. Now arming herself with coffee, she had the feeling it was going to turn out just fine.What started with a flustered memory could lead to deeper conversations, and maybe even something more. First she had to confront Alex about his infidelity and then she can go back to these thoughts. Still, she giggled to herself as she thought about it—this was definitely going to be a morning they’d both remember.
Y/n parked her car in front of Alex’s apartment complex, her whole drive here she made up fake conversations to have with him in her head some of her intrusive thoughts started to get to her as she imagined much more crazy ways of how to confront him, but she knew she’d cry. She knew how hard it would be for her no matter what his answer was, yes or no, but she had to do it.
Somehow she knew either way that she may be grateful it gave her the courage to break up with him in general.
Getting out of the car, Y/n felt a mix of determination and fear. The weight of unresolved emotions pressed down on her chest as her shoes tapped against the pavement. She took a moment to inhale deeply, trying to steal a bit of calm before walking through the threshold that would dictate the direction of her life. She climbed the few steps to Alex’s building and pressed the intercom buzzer.
After a few moments, a crackling voice came through. “Who is it?”
“It’s Y/n,” she replied, her voice steadier than she felt.
“Y/n? Oh, hey babe.! Come on up!” The excitement in his tone gave her a strange mix of hope and dread. Would he be as cheerful when they talked about the mess that had unfolded?
When she reached his door, she hesitated, heart racing. Did she really want to do this? But even as the question surfaced, she felt the guilt gnawing at her. She owed it to herself.
Gathering her courage, she knocked. After a moment, the door swung open, and Alex stood there, looking casually handsome in a simple tee and jeans, a wide smile on his face. “Hey baby, It’s so good to see you. I thought you were hanging with your brother this weekend?”
“Hey,” she replied, forcing a smile, even as her stomach churned. “Can we talk?”
“Yeah of course. Come in,” he said, stepping aside to let her through. As she entered, a rush of familiarity enveloped her—his scent, the slight clutter that was reminiscent of their time together. It should have felt comforting, but instead, it ignited a sense of dread.
She followed him into the living room, where the remnants of his gaming session littered the floor. The sight pulled at her heartstrings—how many times had they shared moments in this space? But those memories felt crushed by the deceit that loomed over them now.
“Wanna drink something? I just made coffee.” he offered, heading toward the kitchen.
“No, I’m okay, thanks.” Y/n tucked her hair into the back of her sweatshirt, feeling uncharacteristically fidgety. “Alex, I really just need to talk.”
“What’s on your mind?” He settled onto the couch, beaming with an eagerness that pitted her stomach against her better instincts.
She took a breath, the words sticking in her throat. “I... um, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking.”
“Yeah? About what?” His expression shifted to curiosity, and she suspected he had no inkling of the storm about to descend.
“About us, about everything that’s happened,” she started, trying to gauge his reaction. His smile faltered just a bit, and her heart sank. “I found out about the other girl.”
His demeanor changed instantly. The confident glimmer in his eyes vanished, replaced by confusion. “Y/n, I—”
“Let me finish,” she interrupted, her tone firmer than she anticipated. She crossed her arms, drawing strength from her resolve. “I don’t want to hear excuses. I just need to know if you even care at all about what this does to our relationship.”
“I do care! I didn’t mean for it to happen.” He looked defensive, yet Y/n couldn't muster sympathy at this moment.
“Didn’t mean for what to happen? To hurt me? To also keep her a secret?” Her voice was steady, but her chest tightened as emotions swelled within. “How many times did you lie to me? How can I trust anything you say now?”
“Y/n, please. It was a mistake. I never wanted to hurt you,” he pleaded, his expression shifting from confusion to desperation.
“And yet, here we are!” she raised her voice,, feeling the anger rise, mixed with a sorrow that threatened to spill over. “I don’t know if you understand how this makes me feel. I didn’t deserve to be anything less than faithful.”
“Oh and your brothers friend is jus-”
“Shut up for one goddamn second.”
Alex opened his mouth in surprise, as if he was about to argue, but Y/n pressed on, the truth spilling out. “I’ve been trying to convince myself that we could make it work, that you’d change. But the more I think about it, the more I realize—it’s not just a mistake. It’s a choice you made. You don’t actually love me enough to just be with me.”
“Y/n...” he started, but she cut him off again, her gaze unwavering.
“It made me realize I deserve better than what you’ve given me. I need to take care of myself.”
An overwhelming silence consumed the room. Alex’s face hardened as he processed her words, the reality of what was happening sinking in.
“I just... I thought we had something special,” he muttered, hurt flickering in his eyes.
“We did,” she whispered, a pang of regret cutting through her. “But that’s the thing, Alex. You fucking ruined it.”
Tears threatened to spill from her eyes, but she squared her shoulders. “We have to break up.”
“Y/n, wait. I can change. I swear! Just give me another chance! I’ll do better!” His plea hung in the air, desperately.
But she knew better now. “I don’t think I can forgive you for this. And I don’t think I want to try. I need to move on and find myself again.”
She turned to leave, heart racing in her chest. As she reached for the doorknob, Alex’s voice caught her once more. “I wish you’d let me explain...”
She paused but didn’t turn around. “There’s nothing left to say, Alex.”
With a shaky breath, she stepped outside, the cool air hitting her like a wave of clarity. Y/n stood for a moment on the threshold, allowing herself to breathe freely for the first time in weeks.
As she walked down the stairs and toward her car, the weight of the conversation pressed upon her, but in a different way. It was a weight lifted.
She took out her phone and texted Seungcheol. “IT'S OVER, lol. Can we still do that movie later? I could really use a friend.”
Seconds later, her phone buzzed with his response. “What’s over? Did you break up with that fucker? Thank god. I can’t wait to hear all about it.”
A smile broke through her earlier sorrow, and she felt the corners of her heart begin to heal just a little. She hadn’t expected this day to lead her in a new direction, but she was ready for whatever came next. One awkward day down, and the next chapter was waiting.
On her drive back y/n knew she shouldn’t be thinking about jumping into her relationship with Seuncheol now, but she also knew she wasted so much time with other jerks never giving him a chance, but it’s what she wanted she just had to figure out how to make it happen.
She pulled into Seuncheol’s driveway, bag of snacks in hand. Shutting her car door with her backside, nearly skipping up to his front door where he stood waiting for her with open arms dressed in his pajamas.
The sight of him, all cozy and relaxed, made her heart flutter. Seuncheol's smile was infectious, and she couldn’t help but return it as she stepped into his warm embrace. The delicious scent of something cooking wafted through the door behind him, complementing the warmth and comfort he radiated.
“Well, well, well, Miss. Bad Bitch,” he exclaimed, pulling away and taking her bag of snacks. “I hope you brought my favorites.”
“Shut up,” she laughed, her heart dancing at how effortlessly they fell into this easy banter. “How could I come empty-handed to thank my therapist?”
Seuncheol chuckled, his eyes twinkling. “Good point. Let’s see what you’ve got.”
Together they sorted through the assortment of chips, candies, and cookies, playfully debating over which treats deserved a spot on their makeshift movie night platter. As they settled onto the couch, their bodies nearly touching, she found herself relaxing in a way she hadn’t in a long time. The earlier unease faded, replaced by a sense of belonging as she sank deeper next to him resting her head on his shoulder swinging around a piece of licorice.
“Alright, so what are we watching?” he asked, remote in hand.
She bit her lip thoughtfully, her heart racing at the idea of sharing this moment with him. “How about something fun? A rom-com?”
“Only if you promise to laugh at all the cheesy parts,” he teased, nudging her playfully.
“How about a bet that whoever cries has to jump in your pool… naked,” she shot back with a smile, feeling a thrill in their playful exchange. The movie began, their laughter filling the space as they munched on snacks, but she felt the real chemistry sparking between them, the edges of her heart warming with every shared glance and gentle touch.
As the story unfolded on the screen, she caught herself stealing glances at him, his focus entirely on the film yet his presence enveloped her like a warm blanket. Somewhere between the jokes and the popcorn fights, the realization struck—this was the moment she had been waiting for, the feeling she had longed to explore.
“Seuncheol,” she said softly, causing him to look over, pausing the movie.
“Yeah?”
“Are you crying?”
“Maybe.”
“Wow. I win!”
Seungcheol punched the air, getting up faster than he ever has, stripping off his hoodie and running out the patio door, y/n chasing behind him, knocking over the entire bowl of popcorn on her way out.
As she turned the corner to go towards his pool he snatched her up, jumping in with her in his arms.
The splash echoed through the night as the cool water enveloped them both. Seungcheol erupted in laughter, the sound bright and full of joy, while Y/N squealed in surprise, her heart racing from the sudden plunge.
As they surfaced, water cascading off their faces, Y/N couldn't help but scold him playfully, “What the Fuck. You could have warned me!” Her hair clung to her face, and she was momentarily blinded, but the thrill of the moment overshadowed any annoyance.
Seungcheol flashed her a cheeky grin, droplets sparkling on his skin. “Where’s the fun in that?” he teased, his eyes mischievous, reflecting the moonlight.
Y/N glared, though her heart was still light. “You’re such an asshole!” she laughed, splashing water back at him, her instincts taking over as they devolved into a playful water fight. He countered with playful throws of water, their laughter mingling in the cool night air—full of energy, warmth, and the promise of summer.
He was talking her through the water, pinning her against his bare chest, they both paused, breathless and giggling their legs brushing against each other as she caught her breath. “You’re going to get us both in trouble,” she said softly, her voice playful yet carrying an underlying affection.
Seungcheol tilted his head, his smile softening. “Maybe. But this is way more fun than sitting inside watching movies.” He reached for her hair, swiping it out of her face, and for a moment, the world faded around them, he took a deep breath and kissed her, rummaging his hands under her sweatshirt which she reciprocated back, tugging at his waist band, dipping her cold fingers underneath to graze him slightly in an area they’ve never explored.
“I’ve been thinking about us,” she confessed, the words tumbling out between their passionate kisses she couldn’t second-guess them. “I know this is sudden.. But, I.. uh.” she left a small whispering moan out of her lips,
Kissing her deeply again smiling into it he just whispered, “But?” and then moved his lips to her neck as she wrapped her legs around his waist.
She took a deep breath, her heart racing. “But I want to give us a chance. I want to see where this could go. I’ve never trusted anyone more than you.”
A huge smile broke over his face, as he pulled away for just a moment, as if her words were a key that unlocked something deep within him. “Really? You mean it?”
“Yeah,” she nodded, her nerves calming under the intensity of his stare. “I do. I know it’s sudden, but I’ve been in love with you my whole life.”
His eyes widened with surprise “You… you’ve loved me?” The words slipped from his lips, almost hesitant, as if he were afraid to break the spell of the moment.
“Yes,” she replied, her voice steady yet soft, the weight of her confession hanging between them like a fragile thread. “I never thought we’d get to this point, but here we are.”
He leaned in closer again, his forehead resting against hers, feeling the warmth radiating from her skin. “I never wanted to rush you,” he admitted. “I just didn’t know how to tell you how I felt. It’s like… you’ve always been the only person I’ve ever wanted.”
Her heart swelled at his words, a sense of relief enveloping her like a warm blanket. “So what now?” she asked, her tone playful but laced with sincerity.
“Now? We figure it out together.” His voice was low and confident, reassurance flooding her senses. He kissed her forehead gently before pulling back slightly, his hands still locking around her waist. “I want to take our time, get to know each other in this way. There’s no rush.”
“Okay,” she murmured, the smile returning to her lips. She hadn’t realized how much she needed his patient approach, how refreshing it felt to not be hurried into something that had the potential to change everything.
He brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, his thumb caressing her cheek. “Just know that I’m all in.”
Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes, but she blinked them away, caught in the sincerity of his gaze. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited to hear those words.”
“And now that you have, what do you want to do first?” he asked, a twinkle of mischief sparking in his eyes.
She grinned, feeling a rush of excitement flood through her. “How about we start with dinner? A proper date, just the two of us, to celebrate this… us. Build up even more sexual tension between us just to make it fun”
“Dinner it is,” he said, already beaming. “And knowing you a bet to who would break first.”
“My bets on you, Cheol. You’re a man.”
“Sure, Bunny. But you did already have your hands down my pants, I’m thinking you’re already a failure. But, I’ll let it slide this time.”
“Well I’ll try to control myself,” she replied, feeling a thrill of possibility unfolding before them. With newfound hope in her heart, she knew this was only the beginning.
♡ CW - Explicit Sexual Content, Unprotected Sex, Nightmares, Alcohol usage by reader, Hyunjin calls reader rose as a nickname, One use of 'y/n'.
♡ Summary - Your avoidant tendencies have allowed the burn of pink and white to keep you Hyunjin at a safe distance until it all comes crashing down. Can the fire that kept you apart also be what brings you together?
♡ Word Count - 9.2k
♡ A/N - I went from not being sure if I liked this fic to being in love with it. I think that it's a very sweet fic and I loved writing it. I worked so hard on it and I'm so proud of it. The goal was for it to be 4k words.. then I almost posted it at 8k but now... yeah. I hope that you love this as much as I do!
♡ Playlist - Pink + White - Frank Ocean, Rainy Days - V, For Us - V, Beautiful Things - Benson Boone, Trajectories - Bruno Major
✧ Masterlist ✧
When you were six years old you punched a boy in the face on the playground. That was the first time that you ever felt the burn of genuine fear.
Your mom along with the many others came swirling around them. When your mother asked you what happened you cried. You clung to her running over to you and the crying brunette boy on the playground with a mix of emotions and explained the best you could through your tears that you didn’t like that he was chasing you, when you agreed to play tag you thought that you’d be the chaser not the one being chased.
That was the day that you learned two things about yourself, you have a habit of acting impulsively when you’re scared and you don’t like being chased. It's suffocating.
As you got older your friends described you as the avoidant type, especially in relationships. You developed a reputation for being an ice queen in your Sophomore year of university which led to you being one of the most sought after girls on campus.
You’ve lost friends because of this. Their boyfriends saw getting close to them as a gateway to meeting you. Many guys took dating you as a challenge with an end prize of overnight popularity. Unfortunately, some of your closest relationships have been destroyed because of it. You learned not to be sad about it, you’ve come to terms with it, this is just the way that it goes. Of course your other friends were all important to you but you always told yourself that you’re alright with losing them as long as you have your best friend by your side.
“More roses? Are you in love or something?” You weaved through the cluttered art studio that Hyunjin has claimed as his own. It’s on the dead side of campus on the second floor of a building that was abandoned last year. Your best friend refused to let the studio go when it was shut down, he says that it houses some of his fondest memories.
“Always in love, never loved back.” He quips, eyes still trained on the canvas. “You’re early.”
You jump up onto one of the few clear desks in the room, right behind his easel. “Chemistry ended early.” Hyunjin stands straight, eyeing his canvas for a second before looking over at you. He knows that you’re skipping class. Your last hook-up is in that class and you're trying to avoid his attempt at getting you in his bed again. If you’re being honest, the decision to sleep with him was impulsive. You blame the beer, all eight of them.
“I thought that we could go to the exhibition early.” He starts another brush stroke and silence swallows you both. “I’m excited about it and if I’m being honest I just wanna spend time with you. I’ve barely seen you for the past three days.”
Hyunjin’s steady hand wavers and he thanks his lucky stars that you didn’t see it. “Aw she misses me. She loves me so much.” The sound of your feet hitting the ground as you jump off of the desk echoes through the dusty room of stacked chairs and forgotten storage items.
Hyunjin stands and dips the paint brush covered in bright pink in the cup of water next to him. “You could’ve come to my place ya know.” You grab your stuff, swinging your bag onto your shoulder.
“Your brother is there, you know how he gets.” You scrunch your face at the thought of Hyunjin’s step brother, Jeongin. The two of you get along perfectly, almost as well as you and Hyunjin until Jeongin starts flirting. He confessed to you on New Years and you’ve been avoiding him ever since. He’s too sweet for you, you’d hate to hurt him. “I’m gonna go change, I’ll meet you by your car.”
“You brought a costume change for an art exhibit?” He asks as he starts cleaning his space.
“Of course, I need to look like art too.” You smile at him but he doesn’t smile back, he rolls his eyes and turns his attention back to the mess of paints and rags on the desk in front of him. He waits until he hears the door open and close behind you to finally let the corners of his mouth turn up. He chuckles to himself quietly while his mind comes up with responses that he’d never dare to utter out loud.
“This one looks like you, rose.” The year old nickname slips off of Hyunjin’s tongue like silk. You’ve never fully understood how the name stuck. You figured that it’s because roses are his favorite flower and he thought it was cute. You’ve never asked for its origin but you don’t mind the name. It’s sweet.
You turn to view the series of pink, white and green dots making up a bouquet of roses on the framed canvas in front of Hyunjin. He studies it with smiling eyes though the neutral look on his face could fool those who haven’t experienced him like you have.
“It’s pretty.” You mumble as you lean your head on his shoulder. You wrap your arm around his and the sleeve of the brown oversized flannel shirt that you picked out a year ago rides up his forearm a bit, he blames the chills running up his spine on the breeze against the newly exposed skin.
“I knew I’d see you here.” The voice of a woman next to Hyunjin startles you a bit. You stand straight and watch as Hyunjin smiles towards her. He’s cursing her in his head for interrupting the moment between the two of you but he learned a long time ago to just live in the moment when it comes to you.
“Of course, I had to see this exhibition.” He shakes her hand and you chalk it up to her being someone important though she doesn’t look much older than either of you. “You put it together beautifully.”
Ah, she owns the gallery. “Oh, please, it’s nothing. I just hope that you’re enjoying it. I actually thought about you when I put this piece up.” She motions towards the art in front of the two of you. The piece that Hyunjin says resembles you. “It looks like something you’d design. I’m still desperate to organize a local exhibition for you, ya know.”
Hyunjin laughs but it's stiff and polite. He’s being shy. He’s a very cautious person but he reaches a whole new level when it comes to his art. “I’m not quite on that level yet.”
“I disagree but I won’t bother you about it until you graduate. This is your final semester, right?” You can see her eyes smiling just like Hyunjin’s were a second ago as she checks him out. She’s shameless in her actions, the glint in her eyes is far from professional.
“Yes, just three months to go.” She nods, dragging her gaze up from his lips with a smile.
“Call me when you graduate, I’d love to have you working with us.” She pulls a business card out of her pocket and flashes one last smile before waving a reluctant goodbye towards your best friend.
Silence settles between the two of you for just a couple of seconds before you break it. “She wants to fuck you so badly that she didn’t even look at me.” Hyunjin scoffs at your whispered words as he slips the card into his pocket. “Don’t tell me that you didn’t notice. How old is she anyway? She looks a bit young to be in charge of this place.”
“Her father owns it.” He mumbles as he grabs your wrist and leads you over to the next piece of art.
“Oh, of course. She probably thought I was your girlfriend, ya know. She’s rude as hell for not even asking or looking at me. I know she saw me here, she’s clearly -” You’re pulled into Hyunjin’s side before you can finish your sentence. The sudden action cuts you off with a heavy thump of your heart and that painfully familiar burn rising in your chest.
“Look at this one.” Your eyes are on him but his are on the art. “This one looks like you too.” You pull your gaze away from him to view the piece. The thumping in your chest doubles once your gaze meets your own. It’s a mirror with pink and white abstract designs floating around and over the glass. The paint is so messy yet strategic. It leaves just enough room for your reflection.
“It’s messy yet elegant, don’t you think? You can’t help but to stare..” He’s visibly smiling now. The corners of his mouth turn up as he studies the art in front of him. As he studies you. “This one might be my favorite. It’ll be hard to beat it.”
“I don’t like it.” You mutter quickly, pulling away from Hyunjin and turning towards the next piece. You try your best to steady your breathing. You will your heart to calm down so that you can take a complete breath but it’s betraying you. “I’m gonna use the bathroom.”
You’re walking away before Hyunjin can reply. He watches you with that smile in his eyes as you disappear around the corner. He knew that what he pulled would be a risk but it was one that he was willing to take. He doesn’t call you beautiful nearly as much as he should or as much as he really wants to.
In the bathroom you’re slumped against the door of a stall while you try to catch your breath. You don’t like how Hyunjin’s words made that white hot burn in your chest kick up. You don’t like the way that his eyes being on you made you feel like you were the only two in the entire gallery. It’s suffocating.
When you step out of the stall your fingers are busy on your phone screen. You find your friend Isa’s number quickly and take a sigh of relief when she answers on the third ring. You bypass reciprocating her kind greeting and get right to the point.
“Get-together at yours tomorrow?”
You’re standing in the middle of the Pink and White art exhibition. Other viewers jumble together along the walls of the gallery and crowd the pieces. You can’t see anything but their blurred faces decorating the white walls. There’s a slow yet heavy beating in your ears but you’re comfortable. You’re alone in the middle of it all, watching everyone from a pleasant distance as you turn to study them all as if they’re the art on the walls.
The beating in your ears skips as you turn and come face to face with Hyunjin. He’s standing in front of you wearing that brown hat that you love and the oversized flannel that he bought just to share with you.
Suddenly the others in the room are quiet. All eyes are on you but Hyunjin’s gaze is the most piercing. His brown eyes are smiling at you with a softness that makes the flame in your chest burn brighter.
“Why are you staring at me like that?” You look around at everyone else but they’ve vanished along with the art on the walls. The beating in your ears picks up, it’s deafening but Hyunjin’s voice can be heard loud and clear over the noise.
“I like staring at you.” He takes a step towards you but you take two back. He frowns and steps forward again. You repeat the process until your back is against the wall. “Why do you do that?”
“I’m not doing anything.” You swallow hard as you try to push him away but he’s stronger than you. As strong as stone caging you against the stark white wall. “I can’t breathe.” You’re pushing as hard as you can but it’s no use. You’re stuck under him.
“Why do you do this?” He’s still staring down at you, a burning gaze setting your skin ablaze. “Why do you keep running?” The beating in your ears drowns out all sensible thoughts. You can feel your veins swelling with fear and the blinding white burning in your chest puffs up with the crushing pressure of having him so close. Too close.
“Back up.” You inhale the thick air, feeling dizzy. “Move.”
“Stop running.” You try to inhale but it gets stuck in your throat. You want to scream. You need to escape. You need to get out of here.
You lift your heavy arm the best you can and pull back enough to punch Hyunjin. You aim for his face but your fist goes through him just as your lungs start to burn, you take one last look at him before the wall behind you gives out and you’re falling backwards. Hyunjin watches you, his eyes are void of that sparkling smile and guilt consumes you right before you hit the ground.
You jump up with a gasp as your eyes frantically search the room around you. Your chest rises and falls heavily and sweat beads at your hairline.
It was a dream.
Friday is a late day for you with your last class ending at nine in the evening. Hyunjin always waits for you in the abandoned art studio, he waits for two hours just to walk you to your dorm across campus. It’s become a routine for the two of you but you told him not to wait up tonight. He was reluctant at first, he insisted on waiting for you but you were adamant about breaking your routine.
He agreed eventually but you could see the dejection in his eyes as he hugged you goodbye before your last class. He watched you walk away just like he always did but this time his heart was heavy in his chest. Did he do something wrong?
That question haunted him throughout the day. It was loud in his head as he collected his stuff and made his way to the abandoned studio. It echoed in his ears as he tried to finish the painting of his vibrant rose that he’s added notes of dusty pale pink to. But it was the loudest when Jeongin called him to ask if he was going to the get-together at Minho’s place tonight.
He knows that you and Minho’s girlfriend Isa are close so you have to know about this, hell, you might’ve even helped plan it and you kept it from him. You’re avoiding him.
You skipped your class to head to Minho and Isa’s place. They share a small apartment right off of campus that you often use as an escape. Isa is one of the few friends that you still have from sophomore year since her boyfriend has never once tried to get in your pants.
You sat on Isa’s bed clutching a bottle of soju that is not at all meant for one person while you laid your head in her lap. You loved being with her because there was never any pressure to fill the silence. She understands you in a way that other people just don’t. Not even Hyunjin.
“So, he called you pretty?” You’ve been telling her everything from what happened at the art gallery to the nightmare you had last night. “And now you’re avoiding him?”
“I’m not avoiding him.” You take a swig from the glass bottle and gulp hard to rush the alcohol into your system. “I’m just being careful.”
“You’re being careful by avoiding your best friend… because he called you pretty and you had a nightmare about it?” You sit up with a groan, lifting the bottle to your mouth again with a sigh. She’s not getting it.
“You didn’t see the way he looked at me. You didn’t feel the way he pulled me into him, his arm wrapped around my waist and he just stared at me with that smile in his eyes. You know the one that makes his eyes shine when he sees something pretty? He was looking at me like that and he told me that I looked elegant. Messy but elegant and that he couldn’t help but to stare. There was a softness in his voice, I swear, and he just wouldn’t take his eyes off of me. It’s like he was looking into me instead of at me it was… it was..”
“Sweet?” You tap the bottle in your hands with your nails.
“Suffocating. It was too much. It made my heart skip and it made me feel hot.”
“That usually means that you like him, ya know.” She takes the bottle from you, drinking from it a bit herself. “ You know that he’s a romantic and this isn’t the first time you’ve felt like this with him.” She hands the cold glass back to you while you think back to the other times that you’ve felt this. The latest being your birthday three months ago when Hyunjin whisked you away to the next city for a mini getaway.
You stayed in the same hotel room and on the night of your birthday you had a bit too much to drink. He carried you up to your room since you were too out of it to walk but you weren’t too far gone to forget the way that he handled you with such gentle care.
He brushed your hair out of your face when he laid you on your bed and took your make-up off with such a tender touch that it made you want to kiss him. You almost kissed him.
“I don’t like him like that.” You shrug and she sighs.
“Whatever you say, ice queen.” That damned nickname makes you cringe but Minho is bursting through the door before you can rebuttal.
“Jisung and Bin just got here, come on.” You stare at him with confused eyes and he crosses his arms as he stares back at you. “Well? Get up, you wanted to do this.”
“Do what?” You look over at Isa who’s already getting up from the bed.
“Did you not call her asking for a get-together? People are getting here so come on. I’m not hosting this by myself.” Your heart drops and you stare over at Isa who looks back at you with her own look of confusion until it all sinks in.
“You meant for it to be just us, didn’t you?”
Hyunjin is a cautious person, anyone who knows him knows that about him. He doesn’t like when things go wrong because of him. It eats him alive until he can fix it and if he can’t he lets the anxiety consume him until a part of him dies with the memory of it all.
His cautious nature is what prompted him to drive home after he got that call from Jeongin. It brought him right to his bedroom where he dropped his bag by the foot of his bed and laid back against the mattress with a death stare set on the dull ceiling. It stared back at him, reflecting his thoughts back to him for him to analyze.
His brother left for the get-together as soon as he walked through the door and Hyunjin was tempted to follow him down to Seungmin’s car.
He was tempted to drop his bag and turn on his heels and come straight to you but he knew better. He knew you better than you knew yourself. If he shows up at that get-together you’ll avoid him like the plague. You’ll feel trapped by his presence and any hope that he has of fixing this situation will die right in front of his eyes.
His cautious nature is what’s keeping him on his bed. It’s what’s grounding him to this spot and sating the burning desire to chase you. The problem is that the fire in his chest is bigger than he can handle. He’s seen how you treat the men you want to avoid on campus, he’s seen you take the long way home just to avoid a conversation and the thought of you doing that to him makes him wilt. He can’t let that happen.
His feet are carrying him across his room before he can even fully process it. He opens his closet and pulls out the brown flannel along with his brown beanie. They’ve become comfort items for the both of you at this point, especially the flannel. It feels like a thread connecting you to him and him to you. He needs to save that connection.
He sloppily throws on the items while he checks the clock. He’s nearly two hours late but there’s still time.
Hyunjin has never gotten a speeding ticket but he was nearly positive that he’d get one tonight. He made it to Minho’s place in record time but he’s panting when he knocks on the door like he’s ran there. His heart is hammering when Isa answers the door and the look on her face when she takes him in only makes his heart beat faster.
She forces a smile, inviting him in and telling him where everything is but he already knows all of that and she knows that he does. “She doesn’t want to see me does she?” Isa sighs, giving him a look that answers each and every one of his questions all at once.
“Thanks for letting me in.” He walks past her with a nervous huff, making his way into the small party and searching for you immediately. He finds Changbin and Chan before he can find you and the two quickly drag him into a conversation about gods know what while wedging a glass bottle of mystery liquid into his fist.
Hyunjin’s eyes wander in an attempt to find you as he ignores his friends' conversation. Luckily it didn’t take long for the sound of your loud laughter to echo through the room. His eyes were on you in an instant once he heard it. You’re right in front of him sitting in the truth or dare circle with a can of something strong in your hand. You’re always the loudest in the room but right now you seem to be the drunkest too, you shouldn’t be playing that game you’ll do something reckless.
He wants to go over and pull you up, he wants to tell you that you’re going home and that you need to sober up. He wants to get you to talk to him but he ignores everything he wants and watches you instead. He stays cautious and keeps his distance.
“Y/n, truth or dare.” One of your few girl friends, Harvey asks from across the circle. You answer ‘dare’ with a wide smile, it’s no surprise, you always pick that. The raven haired girl looks over to Mingi for assistance since she’s known for picking terrible dares. After a couple seconds of deliberation the blonde perks up with an idea.
“I dare you to kiss whoever this bottle lands on.” Mingi dares with a nonchalant smile and you shrug, the alcohol in your system is surely boosting your confidence but it’s not like you’ll remember any of this tomorrow so who cares, right?
He spins the bottle in the middle of the circle and everyone watches with quiet anticipation as it lands on the copper haired boy sitting three people away from you. It’s Jeongin.
He stops in the middle of sipping from his cup and flashes you a small innocent smile but what you return to him is nothing less than a look of raw seduction. You’re on your feet in an instant, making your way over to him with low and hazy eyes. You straddle him swiftly, getting comfortable in his lap like you’ve done this a hundred times.
“You sure about this, noona?” His hands rest on your thighs, he brushes his thumbs over the bareskin and you can feel a shiver down your spine. It almost reminds you of how Hyunjin touched you on your birthday.
“Do you not wanna kiss me?” You tease him with a slight slur to your voice. You know he wants to kiss you, everyone does except for Hyunjin, right?
Just as that thought passes your eyes flicker up and meet those of the very man on your mind. He’s watching you with an angry gaze as he fists the neck of the glass bottle in his hand. Your mouth goes dry as you take him in, when did he get here? You feel stuck staring at him, everything around you is suddenly muted and the people around you disappear. It’s only you and Hyunjin.
Both of your hearts are pounding in your chest.
Both of you feel like you can’t breathe.
Both of you are about to do something that you shouldn’t.
“Kiss her already!” Ryujin instigates from across the circle and you snap out of your haze and blink down at Jeongin. You both share a smile, one more genuine than the other, before he’s leaning into you. His lips just barely brush against yours before you’re interrupted.
A firm grip on your shoulder startles you and the man under you. You both look up to meet the eyes of the angry Hyunjin above you.“Get up.” He practically growls with a slight tug on your arm. You stare up at him with glassy eyes though you are feeling a bit more sober now. “Get. Up.”
You’re being pulled up before you can process it. Your feet fight to keep up with him as you stumble towards the bedroom he’s leading you to. You can feel all eyes on you, you can feel the room getting smaller once he locks the bedroom door behind the two of you and pulls his flannel off to drape over your shoulders, something that he does to comfort you.
“What the fuck?” That’s all you can manage to get out of your mouth as you stare over at him. He stares back with his arms crossed and his chest rising and falling with what you perceive as anger but he would describe as anxiety. Pure fear.
“Do you understand what you were about to do?” Hyunjin tries to be mindful of his tone. He tries to limit the waver of his words and calm the frantic thoughts in his head. He’s trying. “Why would you kiss him?”
“I didn’t.” The alcohol in your system takes over again and you thank the ridiculous amount of soju you’ve consumed for coming to the rescue. You tug on the flannel resting over your shoulders, pretending that its warmth would protect you from the buzzing in your head and inevitable burning in your chest.
“You would’ve if I didn’t stop you. What happened to you not being into Jeongin? What happened to you not wanting to hurt him?”
You groan, stomping your foot like a child being scolded by their guardian. Like the little girl who punched the brunette boy in the face for chasing her. “Why don’t you mind your business?”
Hyunjin scoffs, his anxiety grows in his chest and he takes a step back. “You are my business.”
It’s silent for one, two, three heartbeats before the dizzying emotions burning in your chest fill in the silence for you. “Well maybe I shouldn’t be. You’re way too attached to me.”
Hyunjin feels frozen even though he’s stepping back from you. He’s creating more space between the two of you just like you seem to be doing. What do you mean by that? You’re rambling on before he can ask. “You do all of these things that make me feel like I can’t breathe. You call me pretty and you touch me softly and you hold me close and… and you just make me feel hot. You suffocate me.”
Hyunjin whispers through the bubbles forming in his throat. He’s gentle with the way he speaks, he is a cautious person after all, especially when it comes to his art. “Is this about what I said at the gallery?”
His question goes in one ear and right out the other. Your brain formulates words quicker than you can process them, creating a violent episode of word vomit that threatens to spill over your lips and onto the carpet but you swallow hard and condense it all into one simple yet seering sentence. “You keep making my heart race, it’s not fair. You need to go, just go.”
Hyunjin’s blood runs cold and his temples throb like you’ve hit him. Like you’ve punched him in the face. Anxiety bubbles in his veins and swells behind his eyes. It’s his turn to ramble, the word vomit seems to be contagious.
“I’m not leaving.” His gaze is frantic, cautious, scared. “I am too attached, you’re right. I have been for a while. I’ve loved you for a while and I tried to hide it but I shouldn’t have to. I shouldn’t be scared that I’ll lose my best friend if I tell her that she’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”
“No, you are not confessing to me right now. Don’t you dare do that.” You pace to the left then the right in a hurried attempt to escape his words before they could reach you. He can’t be doing this right now. You needed to get out of here.
“I am. I am confessing to you. I need you to hear me say that I love you because I do and it scares me just as much as it scares you but you are the reason that it’s scaring me. Losing you is the reason that I’m afraid and I need you to tell me that that isn’t going to happen.” His voice is shaky just like your hands. He watches you like a dog being dropped off at the pound as you physically try to escape him. He knew this would happen, this is what he was afraid of.
“Stop. Just stop it, Hyunjin. You’re doing it again, I can’t breathe when you’re this close to me.” He stares over at you from the other side of the room and you stare back at him. This doesn’t make any sense. He isn’t next to you but you still can’t breathe. It doesn’t make any sense. “I have to go - I have - just… just leave me alone.” You turn towards the bedroom door but he speaks up before you can make your escape.
“I’m not going to chase you.” Hyunjin is unmoving. His feet are still planted to the floor like a statue as he slips his fists into his pocket. “I don’t want to push you further away but don’t you dare go home and convince yourself that I don’t care just because I let you go.”
You listen to him over your hammering heart with your back turned to him and your unsteady gaze trained on the worn door knob. “I’m letting you go with the hope that you’ll come back. You know where to find me.”
Your feet threaten to betray you, they try to turn you around and drive you over to him but your heart is screaming. That white flame is burning in your chest and begging you to run. Run as fast as you can and find safety, but your safety is standing behind you. It’s watching you with teary eyes that are desperate to meet yours.
A tear slips down your cheek as you grab the doorknob and pull it with a quick twist. You follow your heart and rush out of the room with tears decorating your face and your hand over your mouth. You let the burning win again.
You rush past everyone, Isa tries to stop you and Minho even catches you for a minute but you fight him off of you and make your way to the front door. You don’t get too far before the last layer of your resolve snaps, You turn onto the next dark block and sink to the ground. Sobs rip through you as Hyunjin’s words hang in your head. He loves you. He wants you but you left him. You left everything you’ve ever wanted behind you.
A heavier sob escapes you as the truth of it all comes crashing down. You love him too, don’t you? You’ve loved him for so long. Since your birthday and beyond that but you’ve been avoiding it. You’ve avoided your feelings just like you have everything else. You’ve punched yourself in the face, you’ve chased yourself into a corner and now you might just lose everything you have left. You might lose your best friend.
The storms over the next two days swirl the skies into mysterious clouds of pink and white as rain soaks the grass the same way that you’ve soaked your pillow for hours. You’ve opted to stay in, avoiding anything or anyone that could remind you of Friday’s catastrophe.
You’ve debated texting Jeongin and apologizing for what you remember of the situation. You almost called Isa to spill the fears bubbling in your lungs to her so that she could help you sort through them but she can’t. This is up to you. You need to make a choice. Will you run away from the fire or towards it?
On the other side of campus Hyunjin sits in the abandoned studio with paint stained hands and dried tears on his cheeks. He’s left his previous painting incomplete. The bright blushing rose sits across the room with the others just like it while he touches his brush to the canvas and smears a smoky mauve to the pristine white flesh. His lines are messy and uncalculated. Far from cautious.
For a moment he considers that he was only ever careful because of you. Your lack of control over your emotions inspired him to fill in the blanks for you. Now there’s no need for caution without you.
The rain carried into Monday along with the emptiness in your chest. You’ve typed and deleted paragraphs to Hyunjin who has done the same as he sat on the studio floor.
He stayed in the dusty room until midnight each day that he was without you and you stayed up well past then. He poured himself into painting and you poured yourself onto the carpet of your dorm room. You made lists and mapped your emotions until it all started to make a bit more sense. Until the love that burned alongside your hot white fear was glowing pink in the mirror.
You skipped your classes on Monday, your feet drove you over to the dead side of campus through the violent rain. You stood in the hallway outside of Hyunjin’s studio. The worn copper doorknob stared back at you like it knew what you were here to do. Like it was daring you to go inside. You suck in a breath as you grab the metal, you’ve never been one to back down from a dare.
The studio is empty when you walk inside. The fading warm light of the lamps that you and Hyunjin bought and snuck in illuminate the space the best that they can given the dull pink skies. Your eyes catch on the new piece sitting up on his easel. It’s dark and runny, it’s raw and it feels like it’s calling your name.
“Hi.” Hyunjin’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts. His voice is small and surprised as he stares over at your frame clad in that famous brown flannel and sweatpants.
“Hi.” You whisper back. He looks like a mess. Brown hat, pulled too far over his head and his hair spilling from every exit it can find. “More roses?”
He stares passed you and over at the wilting petals on the canvas with a sad smile. “It’s like I’m in love or something.”
Your guilt tinged heart beats a bit faster when he steps further into the room and closes the door behind him. He drops his bag next to the door and stares at the dinghy tile with his hands in his pockets. “I’m sorry. For everything, for the party and everything with your brother and for everything that I said.”
The word vomit is back. It spilled over your lips before you could attempt to swallow it back but you’re almost thankful for it. You have no clue how you’d get your words out otherwise. “You just made me feel… I just felt..” You kick at the cracked tile as if it holds the answers you’re looking for but Hyunjin beats you to it.
“Suffocated.” His eyes are on you now, they’re low and shadowed in a longing sadness. “I’ve seen this happen a million times to other guys and I thought that I was being careful enough to avoid it.”
“This is nothing like the other guys.” Your bag slumps off of your shoulder and you carelessly allow it to hit the floor. “Your confession just -” He cuts you off with a tight smile.
“I know. It ruined everything.” He sighs, sad eyes examining the space between the two of you. “I ruined everything and I’m sorry for that, rose. I really am.”
“It didn't. It didn’t ruin anything, it just scared me. I felt suffocated, yes, but not by you. It was by what I felt for you. That’s why this isn’t like what happened with any of the other guys. I never wanted them. Avoiding them was easy but you… avoiding you..” Hyunjin watches your heaving chest with the caution that he thought had abandoned him. He’s quiet, allowing you time to gather your thoughts. He doesn’t want to corner you, he just wants to hear you.
“Why do you call me that?” You whisper once your breathing has steadied. “Why did you start calling me rose?”
Suddenly he’s looking past you then down at the tile under his feet. He leans against the door behind him, a faint smile decorating his sad face. “You were wearing one in your hair on the day that I realized I love you.” He looks over to where his easel is set up. “We were sitting right there and you had a pale pink rose behind your left ear. You picked me one to match and I told you that it was my favorite flower because in that moment it was. It was beautiful but you…your beauty is hard to beat.”
Your heart is thumping in your ears, it’s a sound that you’ve grown comfortable with over the past few days. The clutter of the abandoned room almost seems to disappear as you process his words. The burning in your chest makes itself known along with the newly identified pink flame. The white walls of the studio almost seem brighter as you receive Hyunjin’s confession. You let it sink in and drown out the tension little by little. “So when you paint them…”
“I’m painting you. I’m always painting you.” The thumping is deafening but Hyunjin is clear over the noise. He has always been the only one who can cut through it all, even in your dreams.
You can feel yourself falling just like in your nightmare only it’s forwards. You’re falling forwards as your feet carry you to him. You run. You run to him and you fall into his arms that have been desperate to catch you for months. The burn in your chest is paralyzing, it’s seering and fighting the pink flame for dominance.
You cry into his chest, you sob as the pain of running into the fire engulfs you. It swallows you whole and you stand in it with him, you cling to him before you burn to ash and he holds you like he knows it all. He cradles the back of your head like he can feel the fire ripping your flesh apart.
You’re flush against him, tears soaking his shoulder and burning all over until he does what no one has done before. He puts it all out. A simple kiss to the top of your head dowses the flame and reduces it to a measly spark of fear overshadowed by an uncontainable pink and white glow of love in your chest.
You gasp at the cooling effect. Air rushes into your lungs and you can finally breathe, he’s the oxygen you needed. He’s everything you’ve needed but now you want to give your air away again. You want to give it all to him.
You pull away from his shoulder in one swift motion, your eyes are shut tight as your lips find his and you pull him into a hard and messy kiss. The sound that escapes you both is desperate and beautiful. His lips move with yours in an uncoordinated rhythm that makes your lungs burn comfortably. They burn the way that they’re supposed to.
Hyunjin cries into the kiss. Tears stream down his cheeks as he cradles you against him like you’d vanish if he didn’t. He drinks it all in, he allows himself to live in this moment that he’s been dying to have with you for what feels like an eternity before he reluctantly breaks the kiss.
His eyes are still closed when he pulls away. He whispers to you, careful not to crack the shell of this delicate moment. “I thought you -”
“I don’t want to keep running. I can’t, I need you. I can’t lose you.” Your eyes flutter open at the same time as his. He stares down at you with that smile in his eyes. That smile he has when he sees something beautiful, when he’s utterly enamored by the sight before him. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know how to do any of this, I only know that I want to do it with you.”
He’s quiet for a couple of seconds before a smile sneaks up on him. It fades just as quickly as it came and his eyebrows pinch together. “You want me?” You nod and the smile shows itself again.
“I want you.” He leans back in, cupping your cheek as he kisses you hard. His body pushes against yours and you move with him as he walks backwards towards one of the few empty desks and lifts you onto it.
His hands explore every inch of you that he can reach. He balls his fist over the baggy flannel hiding your body from him while your fingers tangle in his hair and scratch over his shoulders and up his arms.
He breaks the kiss to run his lips over the flushed flesh of your neck, he whispers into your skin between each kiss “Tell me to stop.” He pulls at the collar of the flannel to kiss the curve of your neck. “I’ve waited so long for this, please tell me to stop. Tell me to wait.”
You push his head further into the crook of your neck as you tilt your head further to give him better access. “I don’t want you to.” He sucks a mark into the skin right below your ear and you pull his tucked in shirt from his pants with an elated moan.
His clumsy fingers fight to unbutton the oversized flannel as yours attempt to unbutton his jeans. You reach your goal before he does and waste no time capitalizing on your victory. You dip your hand in just enough to fish his growing erection from his briefs and wrap your hand around it.
Hyunjin moans at the stimulation, leaning his forehead against yours and squeezing his eyes shut as you stroke him slowly. “Fuck, please don’t, I wont - I can’t last.”
You kiss his temple softly, whispering reassurance that you don’t care to have him last, you just want to have him. Once he’s centered himself again he continues his struggle to expose your body to him. The final button falls open like the curtain to a play and he stares down your scantily clad torso like an audience in awe.
His hand moves on its own as he admires you. It dips into the waistband of your sweatpants and swipes over your clothed clit.
Your head falls forward to rest on his shoulder with a quiet moan as he groans into the air. Your grip on his cock tightens a bit in response to the sensation and he hisses. “Please tell me I can feel you. Is it okay? Can I?”
He doesn't want your first time to be here but he wants you. He needs you.
Hyunjin hooks a finger into the damp gusset of your panties and pulls it to the side just enough to slip a finger into your waiting cunt. You pant in his ear, wanton moans bubble over the brim of your lips as his free hand cradles the side of your neck. “Look at me, please look at me, baby.”
He runs his thumb over your cheek, brushing over the path of your dried tears. “So pretty, this must be a dream.” You shake your head. Speaking between moans. “Not a dream, baby.”
He slips in another finger as you circle your palm over the head of his cock and you both moan. “Please tell me I can.” He leans his forehead against yours, his desperate eyes reflect the look in your own.
“You can. Please, I want you to.”
“Have you ever thought about it?” He’s asking before he can process it and you’re shaking your head before he can even finish his sentence. A shy glaze washes over your desperate gaze as you watch him undress you.
“You’re all I ever think about.” He whispers as he hooks his thumbs into the band of your pants. “You’re all I’ve wanted for the past year.”
“I’ve loved you since my birthday.” You blurt out, vulnerable eyes peering into his. “Maybe even before that.” He runs a finger over your clothed cunt and you shudder under the touch.
“I wanted to kiss you the night of your birthday. You looked so beautiful but you were wasted. You wouldn’t have remembered. I just stared at you, I took your make-up off and I brushed the hair from your face and you stared back at me. I was just dying to kiss you. I was dying to confess.” Your hand runs slowly up his shaft and he swears that he feels electric.
“I wanted to kiss you too.” He’s quiet, staring back at you with a smile. “That’s why I was staring”
“I kissed your forehead when you fell asleep.” He pulls your panties down your legs, allowing them to pool at his feet with your sweatpants. “I knelt by your bed and whispered my confession to you.”
His fingers are filling you again and you gasp while staring into his eyes. “I wanna hear it.” You whisper through a moan.
“You want to hear my confession?” You nod, your gently fucked out gaze stares into his like your hypnotized by the moment. He scissors his finger into you, stretching you out just a bit before you’re gasping from the stretch of him replacing his fingers with his length.
“Fuck, you’re inside of me.” Hyunjin stills with a groan. His forehead rests on your shoulder while he silently begs himself not to come undone just yet. He sucks in a breath before he recites all that he can remember.
“You’re everything that I thought it would be to fall in love.” He whispers as he pulls back, thrusting into you slowly. “You really snuck up on me, I don’t know what I expected though.” He lifts his head to look at you as he sinks back into you. “You became my world so quickly. So effortlessly.”
You cup his face with both of your hands as you bite back your moans. You want to hear him loud and clear. You want to remember every word. “I should’ve known that I’d fall in love when I first met you.” He picks up the pace, falling into a messy rhythm that’s accompanied by a fit of moans and grunts.
He struggles to keep his eyes on you. They flutter shut with each thrust as he feels himself float closer and closer to his climax. “Baby, I won’t last.” You wrap your arms around his neck and one of his wraps around your waist while the other rests on your thigh before creeping over to softly pinch and rub your clit.
“Hyune, you’re gonna make me - gonna -” He cuts you off with a sloppy kiss, his tongue brushes over your parted lips to request access before making room for itself against yours.
“If you tell me that you’re gonna cum I won’t last another second.” He whispers against your lips and you moan against his.
“What if I tell you that I love you.” Hyunjin’s eyebrows pinch at the confession. That’s way worse than telling him that you’re close. “I’ve loved you back for as long as - as long as you’ve loved me.”
“Rose, baby, you’re gonna -” It’s your turn to kiss him now, it’s a mess of teeth and tongue but you love it. You love him and him you.
You both pull away in tandem, twin moans ripping through your chests as you both announce yourself to the other.
“I’m cumming, I’m cumming.” Hyunjin pulls out of you, painting your thighs in his sticky white release while his fingers toy with your clit to ride you through your orgasm. It’s loud and messy and beautiful. A romantic elegance that you want to live in for as long as it’s available.
Once you’ve both come down from your high Hyunjin kisses your sweaty forehead and you kiss his. He pulls his bottoms up before grabbing the cleanest paint rag he has to clean you up. A comfortable silence settles around you as you ground yourself and take in the space.
“You didn’t finish that one.”
He follows your gaze over to the painting of the pale pink rose. The middle of the canvas contrasts the rest with nothing but dull line art to show the completed picture. It looks like a work in progress. “I know, but I think I like it like that.” He looks back over at you and you at him.
“It looks like you."
It’s been seven months. Graduation has come and gone in the middle of your blooming relationship with Hyunjin and you’ve dedicated each and every second of your budding love to taming the flame.
Each kiss from him has kept the spark of fear at bay and each touch has taught you how to stop running. It’s been a slow and cautious process that he is more than proud to be a part of. He takes pride in it. He takes pride in being with you.
The smooth breeze of late summer brushes against your skin as you step out of your car. The white dress that Hyunjin picked out for you sticks to you like paint on a canvas as you make your way up to the art gallery.
It’s buzzing inside, people stand and stare in awe at each piece while whispering and pointing to their favorite details. You stop and stand in the middle of it all, taking it all in with a slow spin on the balls of your feet. You take in every corner until you turn around completely and you’re met with the face of the artist himself.
“Hi.” Hyunjin smiles down at you, brown baggy flannel hanging from his shoulders.
“Hi.” You stare back at him with a gleaming smile in your eyes. You take in every inch of him, scanning him like he should be framed and hanging on the walls around you.
“Why are you staring at me like that?” Hyunjin wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him. “I like staring at you.” Your response makes him beam a shy smile.
“You should be staring at the art. The artist might get sad if you don’t.” He kisses your forehead before letting you go. Some people around you stare over at the two of you with curious eyes. They’re eager to put a face to the muse of the showing artist.
You take his hand and lead him over to the piece that a couple is walking away from. You stand in front of it hand in hand as you study it for what feels like the millionth time. “This one is my favorite.” The incomplete pale pink rose stares back at you.
“And why is that?” Hyunjin has that smile in his eyes as he stares up with you. The memory of this piece's origin plays behind his eyes like a memorized movie.
“I’ve been told that it looks like me.” You lay your head on his shoulder and wrap your arm around his. A chill runs up his spine and he blames it on you. You and the love he feels glowing pink and white around you.
“There you are.” History repeats itself as the lady that you’ve come to know as Dalia interrupts the two of you. “I wanted to check in with you, how does it feel to finally have your own exhibition?”
Hyunjin smiles at her politely, turning towards her a bit with his fingers still threaded through yours. “It’s amazing. Thank you, you’ve done a wonderful job putting this together.”
“Oh, please, it’s nothing. This is all you.” You watch her as her eyes smile just as they always have. Her hand brushes over his arm in a carefully calculated move. She’s still shameless and unprofessional. “This piece is my favorite. The unfinished look is unique and raw. What inspired this one?”
You grin to yourself as you listen to her. She’s trying so hard that it’s difficult not to laugh.
“Actually.” Hyunjin pulls your hand a bit, leading you forward so that you’re right next to him. It’s impossible for Dalia to ignore you now. Her eyes scan you reluctantly and the smile on her face falters for a second before she pulls it together. Gosh, that's gratifying.
“My lovely rose here is the inspiration for it all.” Hyunjin looks over at you with a glow that is unmatched even by the largest of flames. “None of this would be possible without her.”
It’s like Dalia disappears once Hyunjin looks over at you. You’re the only two in the room as far as you’re concerned. “Oh, well that’s just - that’s wonderful.” Her staggered speech pulls you both out of your loving haze.
“Such a … sweet profession of love.” She glares over at you though you’re sure that in her head she’s doing a wonderful job at hiding her contempt. “I should make sure that everything is running smoothly. Please excuse me.”
She clears her throat awkwardly before she departs, you and Hyunjin both bid her smiling farewells before turning to each other with wide smiles. “Show off.” You push his shoulder playfully and he laughs.
“I didn’t do anything.” You roll your eyes as you both wander over to the next piece on the wall. You stare up at the two pink roses in a lone vase, a shadow of sunlight casts down on them both as they rise towards its shining glow.
A comfortable silence blankets the two of you while you listen to the soft buzz of the people around you. You squeeze his hand softly and he squeezes back just as you open your mouth to speak.
“She still wants to fuck you.” He smiles
“Shut up.”
Thank you for reading! I'd love to know what you thought about this fic! Leave a comment or send an ask to let me know! ❣️
ALSO, please follow my back-up acct. @minniee-verse 💕
I love the process of realization and acceptance AND the confrontation. At the beginning, when the chill runs up his spine, he blames it on the breeze, but at the end he blames it on her 🥹. So lovely
This was the kind of love I yearned for years when I was an avoidant. I never received it tho ^^
I'm glad you noticed that part! There were tons of references and loops throughout the story. Some are more hidden than others but I'm so glad you got that one! Thank you for reading and enjoying. 🫶🏾
Oh, don't worry! I'm sure they're things that are more obvious to. My bf reads everything before I post it and I had to explain the references to him 😭😭 You can try to find them but they might just be things that are obvious to me 😅
Heck yeah! I'll tell you anything that you miss. I started as a poet before writing fiction, so I read this fic kind of like a poem. And I picture it kinda like a film that has loops and reflections in the story. There's just bits and pieces of symbolism and stuff. Some small and some bigger. Anyway, good luck! Lmk how it goes 😅🫶🏾
♡ CW - Explicit Sexual Content, Unprotected Sex, Nightmares, Alcohol usage by reader, Hyunjin calls reader rose as a nickname, One use of 'y/n'.
♡ Summary - Your avoidant tendencies have allowed the burn of pink and white to keep you Hyunjin at a safe distance until it all comes crashing down. Can the fire that kept you apart also be what brings you together?
♡ Word Count - 9.2k
♡ A/N - I went from not being sure if I liked this fic to being in love with it. I think that it's a very sweet fic and I loved writing it. I worked so hard on it and I'm so proud of it. The goal was for it to be 4k words.. then I almost posted it at 8k but now... yeah. I hope that you love this as much as I do!
♡ Playlist - Pink + White - Frank Ocean, Rainy Days - V, For Us - V, Beautiful Things - Benson Boone, Trajectories - Bruno Major
✧ Masterlist ✧
When you were six years old you punched a boy in the face on the playground. That was the first time that you ever felt the burn of genuine fear.
Your mom along with the many others came swirling around them. When your mother asked you what happened you cried. You clung to her running over to you and the crying brunette boy on the playground with a mix of emotions and explained the best you could through your tears that you didn’t like that he was chasing you, when you agreed to play tag you thought that you’d be the chaser not the one being chased.
That was the day that you learned two things about yourself, you have a habit of acting impulsively when you’re scared and you don’t like being chased. It's suffocating.
As you got older your friends described you as the avoidant type, especially in relationships. You developed a reputation for being an ice queen in your Sophomore year of university which led to you being one of the most sought after girls on campus.
You’ve lost friends because of this. Their boyfriends saw getting close to them as a gateway to meeting you. Many guys took dating you as a challenge with an end prize of overnight popularity. Unfortunately, some of your closest relationships have been destroyed because of it. You learned not to be sad about it, you’ve come to terms with it, this is just the way that it goes. Of course your other friends were all important to you but you always told yourself that you’re alright with losing them as long as you have your best friend by your side.
“More roses? Are you in love or something?” You weaved through the cluttered art studio that Hyunjin has claimed as his own. It’s on the dead side of campus on the second floor of a building that was abandoned last year. Your best friend refused to let the studio go when it was shut down, he says that it houses some of his fondest memories.
“Always in love, never loved back.” He quips, eyes still trained on the canvas. “You’re early.”
You jump up onto one of the few clear desks in the room, right behind his easel. “Chemistry ended early.” Hyunjin stands straight, eyeing his canvas for a second before looking over at you. He knows that you’re skipping class. Your last hook-up is in that class and you're trying to avoid his attempt at getting you in his bed again. If you’re being honest, the decision to sleep with him was impulsive. You blame the beer, all eight of them.
“I thought that we could go to the exhibition early.” He starts another brush stroke and silence swallows you both. “I’m excited about it and if I’m being honest I just wanna spend time with you. I’ve barely seen you for the past three days.”
Hyunjin’s steady hand wavers and he thanks his lucky stars that you didn’t see it. “Aw she misses me. She loves me so much.” The sound of your feet hitting the ground as you jump off of the desk echoes through the dusty room of stacked chairs and forgotten storage items.
Hyunjin stands and dips the paint brush covered in bright pink in the cup of water next to him. “You could’ve come to my place ya know.” You grab your stuff, swinging your bag onto your shoulder.
“Your brother is there, you know how he gets.” You scrunch your face at the thought of Hyunjin’s step brother, Jeongin. The two of you get along perfectly, almost as well as you and Hyunjin until Jeongin starts flirting. He confessed to you on New Years and you’ve been avoiding him ever since. He’s too sweet for you, you’d hate to hurt him. “I’m gonna go change, I’ll meet you by your car.”
“You brought a costume change for an art exhibit?” He asks as he starts cleaning his space.
“Of course, I need to look like art too.” You smile at him but he doesn’t smile back, he rolls his eyes and turns his attention back to the mess of paints and rags on the desk in front of him. He waits until he hears the door open and close behind you to finally let the corners of his mouth turn up. He chuckles to himself quietly while his mind comes up with responses that he’d never dare to utter out loud.
“This one looks like you, rose.” The year old nickname slips off of Hyunjin’s tongue like silk. You’ve never fully understood how the name stuck. You figured that it’s because roses are his favorite flower and he thought it was cute. You’ve never asked for its origin but you don’t mind the name. It’s sweet.
You turn to view the series of pink, white and green dots making up a bouquet of roses on the framed canvas in front of Hyunjin. He studies it with smiling eyes though the neutral look on his face could fool those who haven’t experienced him like you have.
“It’s pretty.” You mumble as you lean your head on his shoulder. You wrap your arm around his and the sleeve of the brown oversized flannel shirt that you picked out a year ago rides up his forearm a bit, he blames the chills running up his spine on the breeze against the newly exposed skin.
“I knew I’d see you here.” The voice of a woman next to Hyunjin startles you a bit. You stand straight and watch as Hyunjin smiles towards her. He’s cursing her in his head for interrupting the moment between the two of you but he learned a long time ago to just live in the moment when it comes to you.
“Of course, I had to see this exhibition.” He shakes her hand and you chalk it up to her being someone important though she doesn’t look much older than either of you. “You put it together beautifully.”
Ah, she owns the gallery. “Oh, please, it’s nothing. I just hope that you’re enjoying it. I actually thought about you when I put this piece up.” She motions towards the art in front of the two of you. The piece that Hyunjin says resembles you. “It looks like something you’d design. I’m still desperate to organize a local exhibition for you, ya know.”
Hyunjin laughs but it's stiff and polite. He’s being shy. He’s a very cautious person but he reaches a whole new level when it comes to his art. “I’m not quite on that level yet.”
“I disagree but I won’t bother you about it until you graduate. This is your final semester, right?” You can see her eyes smiling just like Hyunjin’s were a second ago as she checks him out. She’s shameless in her actions, the glint in her eyes is far from professional.
“Yes, just three months to go.” She nods, dragging her gaze up from his lips with a smile.
“Call me when you graduate, I’d love to have you working with us.” She pulls a business card out of her pocket and flashes one last smile before waving a reluctant goodbye towards your best friend.
Silence settles between the two of you for just a couple of seconds before you break it. “She wants to fuck you so badly that she didn’t even look at me.” Hyunjin scoffs at your whispered words as he slips the card into his pocket. “Don’t tell me that you didn’t notice. How old is she anyway? She looks a bit young to be in charge of this place.”
“Her father owns it.” He mumbles as he grabs your wrist and leads you over to the next piece of art.
“Oh, of course. She probably thought I was your girlfriend, ya know. She’s rude as hell for not even asking or looking at me. I know she saw me here, she’s clearly -” You’re pulled into Hyunjin’s side before you can finish your sentence. The sudden action cuts you off with a heavy thump of your heart and that painfully familiar burn rising in your chest.
“Look at this one.” Your eyes are on him but his are on the art. “This one looks like you too.” You pull your gaze away from him to view the piece. The thumping in your chest doubles once your gaze meets your own. It’s a mirror with pink and white abstract designs floating around and over the glass. The paint is so messy yet strategic. It leaves just enough room for your reflection.
“It’s messy yet elegant, don’t you think? You can’t help but to stare..” He’s visibly smiling now. The corners of his mouth turn up as he studies the art in front of him. As he studies you. “This one might be my favorite. It’ll be hard to beat it.”
“I don’t like it.” You mutter quickly, pulling away from Hyunjin and turning towards the next piece. You try your best to steady your breathing. You will your heart to calm down so that you can take a complete breath but it’s betraying you. “I’m gonna use the bathroom.”
You’re walking away before Hyunjin can reply. He watches you with that smile in his eyes as you disappear around the corner. He knew that what he pulled would be a risk but it was one that he was willing to take. He doesn’t call you beautiful nearly as much as he should or as much as he really wants to.
In the bathroom you’re slumped against the door of a stall while you try to catch your breath. You don’t like how Hyunjin’s words made that white hot burn in your chest kick up. You don’t like the way that his eyes being on you made you feel like you were the only two in the entire gallery. It’s suffocating.
When you step out of the stall your fingers are busy on your phone screen. You find your friend Isa’s number quickly and take a sigh of relief when she answers on the third ring. You bypass reciprocating her kind greeting and get right to the point.
“Get-together at yours tomorrow?”
You’re standing in the middle of the Pink and White art exhibition. Other viewers jumble together along the walls of the gallery and crowd the pieces. You can’t see anything but their blurred faces decorating the white walls. There’s a slow yet heavy beating in your ears but you’re comfortable. You’re alone in the middle of it all, watching everyone from a pleasant distance as you turn to study them all as if they’re the art on the walls.
The beating in your ears skips as you turn and come face to face with Hyunjin. He’s standing in front of you wearing that brown hat that you love and the oversized flannel that he bought just to share with you.
Suddenly the others in the room are quiet. All eyes are on you but Hyunjin’s gaze is the most piercing. His brown eyes are smiling at you with a softness that makes the flame in your chest burn brighter.
“Why are you staring at me like that?” You look around at everyone else but they’ve vanished along with the art on the walls. The beating in your ears picks up, it’s deafening but Hyunjin’s voice can be heard loud and clear over the noise.
“I like staring at you.” He takes a step towards you but you take two back. He frowns and steps forward again. You repeat the process until your back is against the wall. “Why do you do that?”
“I’m not doing anything.” You swallow hard as you try to push him away but he’s stronger than you. As strong as stone caging you against the stark white wall. “I can’t breathe.” You’re pushing as hard as you can but it’s no use. You’re stuck under him.
“Why do you do this?” He’s still staring down at you, a burning gaze setting your skin ablaze. “Why do you keep running?” The beating in your ears drowns out all sensible thoughts. You can feel your veins swelling with fear and the blinding white burning in your chest puffs up with the crushing pressure of having him so close. Too close.
“Back up.” You inhale the thick air, feeling dizzy. “Move.”
“Stop running.” You try to inhale but it gets stuck in your throat. You want to scream. You need to escape. You need to get out of here.
You lift your heavy arm the best you can and pull back enough to punch Hyunjin. You aim for his face but your fist goes through him just as your lungs start to burn, you take one last look at him before the wall behind you gives out and you’re falling backwards. Hyunjin watches you, his eyes are void of that sparkling smile and guilt consumes you right before you hit the ground.
You jump up with a gasp as your eyes frantically search the room around you. Your chest rises and falls heavily and sweat beads at your hairline.
It was a dream.
Friday is a late day for you with your last class ending at nine in the evening. Hyunjin always waits for you in the abandoned art studio, he waits for two hours just to walk you to your dorm across campus. It’s become a routine for the two of you but you told him not to wait up tonight. He was reluctant at first, he insisted on waiting for you but you were adamant about breaking your routine.
He agreed eventually but you could see the dejection in his eyes as he hugged you goodbye before your last class. He watched you walk away just like he always did but this time his heart was heavy in his chest. Did he do something wrong?
That question haunted him throughout the day. It was loud in his head as he collected his stuff and made his way to the abandoned studio. It echoed in his ears as he tried to finish the painting of his vibrant rose that he’s added notes of dusty pale pink to. But it was the loudest when Jeongin called him to ask if he was going to the get-together at Minho’s place tonight.
He knows that you and Minho’s girlfriend Isa are close so you have to know about this, hell, you might’ve even helped plan it and you kept it from him. You’re avoiding him.
You skipped your class to head to Minho and Isa’s place. They share a small apartment right off of campus that you often use as an escape. Isa is one of the few friends that you still have from sophomore year since her boyfriend has never once tried to get in your pants.
You sat on Isa’s bed clutching a bottle of soju that is not at all meant for one person while you laid your head in her lap. You loved being with her because there was never any pressure to fill the silence. She understands you in a way that other people just don’t. Not even Hyunjin.
“So, he called you pretty?” You’ve been telling her everything from what happened at the art gallery to the nightmare you had last night. “And now you’re avoiding him?”
“I’m not avoiding him.” You take a swig from the glass bottle and gulp hard to rush the alcohol into your system. “I’m just being careful.”
“You’re being careful by avoiding your best friend… because he called you pretty and you had a nightmare about it?” You sit up with a groan, lifting the bottle to your mouth again with a sigh. She’s not getting it.
“You didn’t see the way he looked at me. You didn’t feel the way he pulled me into him, his arm wrapped around my waist and he just stared at me with that smile in his eyes. You know the one that makes his eyes shine when he sees something pretty? He was looking at me like that and he told me that I looked elegant. Messy but elegant and that he couldn’t help but to stare. There was a softness in his voice, I swear, and he just wouldn’t take his eyes off of me. It’s like he was looking into me instead of at me it was… it was..”
“Sweet?” You tap the bottle in your hands with your nails.
“Suffocating. It was too much. It made my heart skip and it made me feel hot.”
“That usually means that you like him, ya know.” She takes the bottle from you, drinking from it a bit herself. “ You know that he’s a romantic and this isn’t the first time you’ve felt like this with him.” She hands the cold glass back to you while you think back to the other times that you’ve felt this. The latest being your birthday three months ago when Hyunjin whisked you away to the next city for a mini getaway.
You stayed in the same hotel room and on the night of your birthday you had a bit too much to drink. He carried you up to your room since you were too out of it to walk but you weren’t too far gone to forget the way that he handled you with such gentle care.
He brushed your hair out of your face when he laid you on your bed and took your make-up off with such a tender touch that it made you want to kiss him. You almost kissed him.
“I don’t like him like that.” You shrug and she sighs.
“Whatever you say, ice queen.” That damned nickname makes you cringe but Minho is bursting through the door before you can rebuttal.
“Jisung and Bin just got here, come on.” You stare at him with confused eyes and he crosses his arms as he stares back at you. “Well? Get up, you wanted to do this.”
“Do what?” You look over at Isa who’s already getting up from the bed.
“Did you not call her asking for a get-together? People are getting here so come on. I’m not hosting this by myself.” Your heart drops and you stare over at Isa who looks back at you with her own look of confusion until it all sinks in.
“You meant for it to be just us, didn’t you?”
Hyunjin is a cautious person, anyone who knows him knows that about him. He doesn’t like when things go wrong because of him. It eats him alive until he can fix it and if he can’t he lets the anxiety consume him until a part of him dies with the memory of it all.
His cautious nature is what prompted him to drive home after he got that call from Jeongin. It brought him right to his bedroom where he dropped his bag by the foot of his bed and laid back against the mattress with a death stare set on the dull ceiling. It stared back at him, reflecting his thoughts back to him for him to analyze.
His brother left for the get-together as soon as he walked through the door and Hyunjin was tempted to follow him down to Seungmin’s car.
He was tempted to drop his bag and turn on his heels and come straight to you but he knew better. He knew you better than you knew yourself. If he shows up at that get-together you’ll avoid him like the plague. You’ll feel trapped by his presence and any hope that he has of fixing this situation will die right in front of his eyes.
His cautious nature is what’s keeping him on his bed. It’s what’s grounding him to this spot and sating the burning desire to chase you. The problem is that the fire in his chest is bigger than he can handle. He’s seen how you treat the men you want to avoid on campus, he’s seen you take the long way home just to avoid a conversation and the thought of you doing that to him makes him wilt. He can’t let that happen.
His feet are carrying him across his room before he can even fully process it. He opens his closet and pulls out the brown flannel along with his brown beanie. They’ve become comfort items for the both of you at this point, especially the flannel. It feels like a thread connecting you to him and him to you. He needs to save that connection.
He sloppily throws on the items while he checks the clock. He’s nearly two hours late but there’s still time.
Hyunjin has never gotten a speeding ticket but he was nearly positive that he’d get one tonight. He made it to Minho’s place in record time but he’s panting when he knocks on the door like he’s ran there. His heart is hammering when Isa answers the door and the look on her face when she takes him in only makes his heart beat faster.
She forces a smile, inviting him in and telling him where everything is but he already knows all of that and she knows that he does. “She doesn’t want to see me does she?” Isa sighs, giving him a look that answers each and every one of his questions all at once.
“Thanks for letting me in.” He walks past her with a nervous huff, making his way into the small party and searching for you immediately. He finds Changbin and Chan before he can find you and the two quickly drag him into a conversation about gods know what while wedging a glass bottle of mystery liquid into his fist.
Hyunjin’s eyes wander in an attempt to find you as he ignores his friends' conversation. Luckily it didn’t take long for the sound of your loud laughter to echo through the room. His eyes were on you in an instant once he heard it. You’re right in front of him sitting in the truth or dare circle with a can of something strong in your hand. You’re always the loudest in the room but right now you seem to be the drunkest too, you shouldn’t be playing that game you’ll do something reckless.
He wants to go over and pull you up, he wants to tell you that you’re going home and that you need to sober up. He wants to get you to talk to him but he ignores everything he wants and watches you instead. He stays cautious and keeps his distance.
“Y/n, truth or dare.” One of your few girl friends, Harvey asks from across the circle. You answer ‘dare’ with a wide smile, it’s no surprise, you always pick that. The raven haired girl looks over to Mingi for assistance since she’s known for picking terrible dares. After a couple seconds of deliberation the blonde perks up with an idea.
“I dare you to kiss whoever this bottle lands on.” Mingi dares with a nonchalant smile and you shrug, the alcohol in your system is surely boosting your confidence but it’s not like you’ll remember any of this tomorrow so who cares, right?
He spins the bottle in the middle of the circle and everyone watches with quiet anticipation as it lands on the copper haired boy sitting three people away from you. It’s Jeongin.
He stops in the middle of sipping from his cup and flashes you a small innocent smile but what you return to him is nothing less than a look of raw seduction. You’re on your feet in an instant, making your way over to him with low and hazy eyes. You straddle him swiftly, getting comfortable in his lap like you’ve done this a hundred times.
“You sure about this, noona?” His hands rest on your thighs, he brushes his thumbs over the bareskin and you can feel a shiver down your spine. It almost reminds you of how Hyunjin touched you on your birthday.
“Do you not wanna kiss me?” You tease him with a slight slur to your voice. You know he wants to kiss you, everyone does except for Hyunjin, right?
Just as that thought passes your eyes flicker up and meet those of the very man on your mind. He’s watching you with an angry gaze as he fists the neck of the glass bottle in his hand. Your mouth goes dry as you take him in, when did he get here? You feel stuck staring at him, everything around you is suddenly muted and the people around you disappear. It’s only you and Hyunjin.
Both of your hearts are pounding in your chest.
Both of you feel like you can’t breathe.
Both of you are about to do something that you shouldn’t.
“Kiss her already!” Ryujin instigates from across the circle and you snap out of your haze and blink down at Jeongin. You both share a smile, one more genuine than the other, before he’s leaning into you. His lips just barely brush against yours before you’re interrupted.
A firm grip on your shoulder startles you and the man under you. You both look up to meet the eyes of the angry Hyunjin above you.“Get up.” He practically growls with a slight tug on your arm. You stare up at him with glassy eyes though you are feeling a bit more sober now. “Get. Up.”
You’re being pulled up before you can process it. Your feet fight to keep up with him as you stumble towards the bedroom he’s leading you to. You can feel all eyes on you, you can feel the room getting smaller once he locks the bedroom door behind the two of you and pulls his flannel off to drape over your shoulders, something that he does to comfort you.
“What the fuck?” That’s all you can manage to get out of your mouth as you stare over at him. He stares back with his arms crossed and his chest rising and falling with what you perceive as anger but he would describe as anxiety. Pure fear.
“Do you understand what you were about to do?” Hyunjin tries to be mindful of his tone. He tries to limit the waver of his words and calm the frantic thoughts in his head. He’s trying. “Why would you kiss him?”
“I didn’t.” The alcohol in your system takes over again and you thank the ridiculous amount of soju you’ve consumed for coming to the rescue. You tug on the flannel resting over your shoulders, pretending that its warmth would protect you from the buzzing in your head and inevitable burning in your chest.
“You would’ve if I didn’t stop you. What happened to you not being into Jeongin? What happened to you not wanting to hurt him?”
You groan, stomping your foot like a child being scolded by their guardian. Like the little girl who punched the brunette boy in the face for chasing her. “Why don’t you mind your business?”
Hyunjin scoffs, his anxiety grows in his chest and he takes a step back. “You are my business.”
It’s silent for one, two, three heartbeats before the dizzying emotions burning in your chest fill in the silence for you. “Well maybe I shouldn’t be. You’re way too attached to me.”
Hyunjin feels frozen even though he’s stepping back from you. He’s creating more space between the two of you just like you seem to be doing. What do you mean by that? You’re rambling on before he can ask. “You do all of these things that make me feel like I can’t breathe. You call me pretty and you touch me softly and you hold me close and… and you just make me feel hot. You suffocate me.”
Hyunjin whispers through the bubbles forming in his throat. He’s gentle with the way he speaks, he is a cautious person after all, especially when it comes to his art. “Is this about what I said at the gallery?”
His question goes in one ear and right out the other. Your brain formulates words quicker than you can process them, creating a violent episode of word vomit that threatens to spill over your lips and onto the carpet but you swallow hard and condense it all into one simple yet seering sentence. “You keep making my heart race, it’s not fair. You need to go, just go.”
Hyunjin’s blood runs cold and his temples throb like you’ve hit him. Like you’ve punched him in the face. Anxiety bubbles in his veins and swells behind his eyes. It’s his turn to ramble, the word vomit seems to be contagious.
“I’m not leaving.” His gaze is frantic, cautious, scared. “I am too attached, you’re right. I have been for a while. I’ve loved you for a while and I tried to hide it but I shouldn’t have to. I shouldn’t be scared that I’ll lose my best friend if I tell her that she’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”
“No, you are not confessing to me right now. Don’t you dare do that.” You pace to the left then the right in a hurried attempt to escape his words before they could reach you. He can’t be doing this right now. You needed to get out of here.
“I am. I am confessing to you. I need you to hear me say that I love you because I do and it scares me just as much as it scares you but you are the reason that it’s scaring me. Losing you is the reason that I’m afraid and I need you to tell me that that isn’t going to happen.” His voice is shaky just like your hands. He watches you like a dog being dropped off at the pound as you physically try to escape him. He knew this would happen, this is what he was afraid of.
“Stop. Just stop it, Hyunjin. You’re doing it again, I can’t breathe when you’re this close to me.” He stares over at you from the other side of the room and you stare back at him. This doesn’t make any sense. He isn’t next to you but you still can’t breathe. It doesn’t make any sense. “I have to go - I have - just… just leave me alone.” You turn towards the bedroom door but he speaks up before you can make your escape.
“I’m not going to chase you.” Hyunjin is unmoving. His feet are still planted to the floor like a statue as he slips his fists into his pocket. “I don’t want to push you further away but don’t you dare go home and convince yourself that I don’t care just because I let you go.”
You listen to him over your hammering heart with your back turned to him and your unsteady gaze trained on the worn door knob. “I’m letting you go with the hope that you’ll come back. You know where to find me.”
Your feet threaten to betray you, they try to turn you around and drive you over to him but your heart is screaming. That white flame is burning in your chest and begging you to run. Run as fast as you can and find safety, but your safety is standing behind you. It’s watching you with teary eyes that are desperate to meet yours.
A tear slips down your cheek as you grab the doorknob and pull it with a quick twist. You follow your heart and rush out of the room with tears decorating your face and your hand over your mouth. You let the burning win again.
You rush past everyone, Isa tries to stop you and Minho even catches you for a minute but you fight him off of you and make your way to the front door. You don’t get too far before the last layer of your resolve snaps, You turn onto the next dark block and sink to the ground. Sobs rip through you as Hyunjin’s words hang in your head. He loves you. He wants you but you left him. You left everything you’ve ever wanted behind you.
A heavier sob escapes you as the truth of it all comes crashing down. You love him too, don’t you? You’ve loved him for so long. Since your birthday and beyond that but you’ve been avoiding it. You’ve avoided your feelings just like you have everything else. You’ve punched yourself in the face, you’ve chased yourself into a corner and now you might just lose everything you have left. You might lose your best friend.
The storms over the next two days swirl the skies into mysterious clouds of pink and white as rain soaks the grass the same way that you’ve soaked your pillow for hours. You’ve opted to stay in, avoiding anything or anyone that could remind you of Friday’s catastrophe.
You’ve debated texting Jeongin and apologizing for what you remember of the situation. You almost called Isa to spill the fears bubbling in your lungs to her so that she could help you sort through them but she can’t. This is up to you. You need to make a choice. Will you run away from the fire or towards it?
On the other side of campus Hyunjin sits in the abandoned studio with paint stained hands and dried tears on his cheeks. He’s left his previous painting incomplete. The bright blushing rose sits across the room with the others just like it while he touches his brush to the canvas and smears a smoky mauve to the pristine white flesh. His lines are messy and uncalculated. Far from cautious.
For a moment he considers that he was only ever careful because of you. Your lack of control over your emotions inspired him to fill in the blanks for you. Now there’s no need for caution without you.
The rain carried into Monday along with the emptiness in your chest. You’ve typed and deleted paragraphs to Hyunjin who has done the same as he sat on the studio floor.
He stayed in the dusty room until midnight each day that he was without you and you stayed up well past then. He poured himself into painting and you poured yourself onto the carpet of your dorm room. You made lists and mapped your emotions until it all started to make a bit more sense. Until the love that burned alongside your hot white fear was glowing pink in the mirror.
You skipped your classes on Monday, your feet drove you over to the dead side of campus through the violent rain. You stood in the hallway outside of Hyunjin’s studio. The worn copper doorknob stared back at you like it knew what you were here to do. Like it was daring you to go inside. You suck in a breath as you grab the metal, you’ve never been one to back down from a dare.
The studio is empty when you walk inside. The fading warm light of the lamps that you and Hyunjin bought and snuck in illuminate the space the best that they can given the dull pink skies. Your eyes catch on the new piece sitting up on his easel. It’s dark and runny, it’s raw and it feels like it’s calling your name.
“Hi.” Hyunjin’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts. His voice is small and surprised as he stares over at your frame clad in that famous brown flannel and sweatpants.
“Hi.” You whisper back. He looks like a mess. Brown hat, pulled too far over his head and his hair spilling from every exit it can find. “More roses?”
He stares passed you and over at the wilting petals on the canvas with a sad smile. “It’s like I’m in love or something.”
Your guilt tinged heart beats a bit faster when he steps further into the room and closes the door behind him. He drops his bag next to the door and stares at the dinghy tile with his hands in his pockets. “I’m sorry. For everything, for the party and everything with your brother and for everything that I said.”
The word vomit is back. It spilled over your lips before you could attempt to swallow it back but you’re almost thankful for it. You have no clue how you’d get your words out otherwise. “You just made me feel… I just felt..” You kick at the cracked tile as if it holds the answers you’re looking for but Hyunjin beats you to it.
“Suffocated.” His eyes are on you now, they’re low and shadowed in a longing sadness. “I’ve seen this happen a million times to other guys and I thought that I was being careful enough to avoid it.”
“This is nothing like the other guys.” Your bag slumps off of your shoulder and you carelessly allow it to hit the floor. “Your confession just -” He cuts you off with a tight smile.
“I know. It ruined everything.” He sighs, sad eyes examining the space between the two of you. “I ruined everything and I’m sorry for that, rose. I really am.”
“It didn't. It didn’t ruin anything, it just scared me. I felt suffocated, yes, but not by you. It was by what I felt for you. That’s why this isn’t like what happened with any of the other guys. I never wanted them. Avoiding them was easy but you… avoiding you..” Hyunjin watches your heaving chest with the caution that he thought had abandoned him. He’s quiet, allowing you time to gather your thoughts. He doesn’t want to corner you, he just wants to hear you.
“Why do you call me that?” You whisper once your breathing has steadied. “Why did you start calling me rose?”
Suddenly he’s looking past you then down at the tile under his feet. He leans against the door behind him, a faint smile decorating his sad face. “You were wearing one in your hair on the day that I realized I love you.” He looks over to where his easel is set up. “We were sitting right there and you had a pale pink rose behind your left ear. You picked me one to match and I told you that it was my favorite flower because in that moment it was. It was beautiful but you…your beauty is hard to beat.”
Your heart is thumping in your ears, it’s a sound that you’ve grown comfortable with over the past few days. The clutter of the abandoned room almost seems to disappear as you process his words. The burning in your chest makes itself known along with the newly identified pink flame. The white walls of the studio almost seem brighter as you receive Hyunjin’s confession. You let it sink in and drown out the tension little by little. “So when you paint them…”
“I’m painting you. I’m always painting you.” The thumping is deafening but Hyunjin is clear over the noise. He has always been the only one who can cut through it all, even in your dreams.
You can feel yourself falling just like in your nightmare only it’s forwards. You’re falling forwards as your feet carry you to him. You run. You run to him and you fall into his arms that have been desperate to catch you for months. The burn in your chest is paralyzing, it’s seering and fighting the pink flame for dominance.
You cry into his chest, you sob as the pain of running into the fire engulfs you. It swallows you whole and you stand in it with him, you cling to him before you burn to ash and he holds you like he knows it all. He cradles the back of your head like he can feel the fire ripping your flesh apart.
You’re flush against him, tears soaking his shoulder and burning all over until he does what no one has done before. He puts it all out. A simple kiss to the top of your head dowses the flame and reduces it to a measly spark of fear overshadowed by an uncontainable pink and white glow of love in your chest.
You gasp at the cooling effect. Air rushes into your lungs and you can finally breathe, he’s the oxygen you needed. He’s everything you’ve needed but now you want to give your air away again. You want to give it all to him.
You pull away from his shoulder in one swift motion, your eyes are shut tight as your lips find his and you pull him into a hard and messy kiss. The sound that escapes you both is desperate and beautiful. His lips move with yours in an uncoordinated rhythm that makes your lungs burn comfortably. They burn the way that they’re supposed to.
Hyunjin cries into the kiss. Tears stream down his cheeks as he cradles you against him like you’d vanish if he didn’t. He drinks it all in, he allows himself to live in this moment that he’s been dying to have with you for what feels like an eternity before he reluctantly breaks the kiss.
His eyes are still closed when he pulls away. He whispers to you, careful not to crack the shell of this delicate moment. “I thought you -”
“I don’t want to keep running. I can’t, I need you. I can’t lose you.” Your eyes flutter open at the same time as his. He stares down at you with that smile in his eyes. That smile he has when he sees something beautiful, when he’s utterly enamored by the sight before him. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know how to do any of this, I only know that I want to do it with you.”
He’s quiet for a couple of seconds before a smile sneaks up on him. It fades just as quickly as it came and his eyebrows pinch together. “You want me?” You nod and the smile shows itself again.
“I want you.” He leans back in, cupping your cheek as he kisses you hard. His body pushes against yours and you move with him as he walks backwards towards one of the few empty desks and lifts you onto it.
His hands explore every inch of you that he can reach. He balls his fist over the baggy flannel hiding your body from him while your fingers tangle in his hair and scratch over his shoulders and up his arms.
He breaks the kiss to run his lips over the flushed flesh of your neck, he whispers into your skin between each kiss “Tell me to stop.” He pulls at the collar of the flannel to kiss the curve of your neck. “I’ve waited so long for this, please tell me to stop. Tell me to wait.”
You push his head further into the crook of your neck as you tilt your head further to give him better access. “I don’t want you to.” He sucks a mark into the skin right below your ear and you pull his tucked in shirt from his pants with an elated moan.
His clumsy fingers fight to unbutton the oversized flannel as yours attempt to unbutton his jeans. You reach your goal before he does and waste no time capitalizing on your victory. You dip your hand in just enough to fish his growing erection from his briefs and wrap your hand around it.
Hyunjin moans at the stimulation, leaning his forehead against yours and squeezing his eyes shut as you stroke him slowly. “Fuck, please don’t, I wont - I can’t last.”
You kiss his temple softly, whispering reassurance that you don’t care to have him last, you just want to have him. Once he’s centered himself again he continues his struggle to expose your body to him. The final button falls open like the curtain to a play and he stares down your scantily clad torso like an audience in awe.
His hand moves on its own as he admires you. It dips into the waistband of your sweatpants and swipes over your clothed clit.
Your head falls forward to rest on his shoulder with a quiet moan as he groans into the air. Your grip on his cock tightens a bit in response to the sensation and he hisses. “Please tell me I can feel you. Is it okay? Can I?”
He doesn't want your first time to be here but he wants you. He needs you.
Hyunjin hooks a finger into the damp gusset of your panties and pulls it to the side just enough to slip a finger into your waiting cunt. You pant in his ear, wanton moans bubble over the brim of your lips as his free hand cradles the side of your neck. “Look at me, please look at me, baby.”
He runs his thumb over your cheek, brushing over the path of your dried tears. “So pretty, this must be a dream.” You shake your head. Speaking between moans. “Not a dream, baby.”
He slips in another finger as you circle your palm over the head of his cock and you both moan. “Please tell me I can.” He leans his forehead against yours, his desperate eyes reflect the look in your own.
“You can. Please, I want you to.”
“Have you ever thought about it?” He’s asking before he can process it and you’re shaking your head before he can even finish his sentence. A shy glaze washes over your desperate gaze as you watch him undress you.
“You’re all I ever think about.” He whispers as he hooks his thumbs into the band of your pants. “You’re all I’ve wanted for the past year.”
“I’ve loved you since my birthday.” You blurt out, vulnerable eyes peering into his. “Maybe even before that.” He runs a finger over your clothed cunt and you shudder under the touch.
“I wanted to kiss you the night of your birthday. You looked so beautiful but you were wasted. You wouldn’t have remembered. I just stared at you, I took your make-up off and I brushed the hair from your face and you stared back at me. I was just dying to kiss you. I was dying to confess.” Your hand runs slowly up his shaft and he swears that he feels electric.
“I wanted to kiss you too.” He’s quiet, staring back at you with a smile. “That’s why I was staring”
“I kissed your forehead when you fell asleep.” He pulls your panties down your legs, allowing them to pool at his feet with your sweatpants. “I knelt by your bed and whispered my confession to you.”
His fingers are filling you again and you gasp while staring into his eyes. “I wanna hear it.” You whisper through a moan.
“You want to hear my confession?” You nod, your gently fucked out gaze stares into his like your hypnotized by the moment. He scissors his finger into you, stretching you out just a bit before you’re gasping from the stretch of him replacing his fingers with his length.
“Fuck, you’re inside of me.” Hyunjin stills with a groan. His forehead rests on your shoulder while he silently begs himself not to come undone just yet. He sucks in a breath before he recites all that he can remember.
“You’re everything that I thought it would be to fall in love.” He whispers as he pulls back, thrusting into you slowly. “You really snuck up on me, I don’t know what I expected though.” He lifts his head to look at you as he sinks back into you. “You became my world so quickly. So effortlessly.”
You cup his face with both of your hands as you bite back your moans. You want to hear him loud and clear. You want to remember every word. “I should’ve known that I’d fall in love when I first met you.” He picks up the pace, falling into a messy rhythm that’s accompanied by a fit of moans and grunts.
He struggles to keep his eyes on you. They flutter shut with each thrust as he feels himself float closer and closer to his climax. “Baby, I won’t last.” You wrap your arms around his neck and one of his wraps around your waist while the other rests on your thigh before creeping over to softly pinch and rub your clit.
“Hyune, you’re gonna make me - gonna -” He cuts you off with a sloppy kiss, his tongue brushes over your parted lips to request access before making room for itself against yours.
“If you tell me that you’re gonna cum I won’t last another second.” He whispers against your lips and you moan against his.
“What if I tell you that I love you.” Hyunjin’s eyebrows pinch at the confession. That’s way worse than telling him that you’re close. “I’ve loved you back for as long as - as long as you’ve loved me.”
“Rose, baby, you’re gonna -” It’s your turn to kiss him now, it’s a mess of teeth and tongue but you love it. You love him and him you.
You both pull away in tandem, twin moans ripping through your chests as you both announce yourself to the other.
“I’m cumming, I’m cumming.” Hyunjin pulls out of you, painting your thighs in his sticky white release while his fingers toy with your clit to ride you through your orgasm. It’s loud and messy and beautiful. A romantic elegance that you want to live in for as long as it’s available.
Once you’ve both come down from your high Hyunjin kisses your sweaty forehead and you kiss his. He pulls his bottoms up before grabbing the cleanest paint rag he has to clean you up. A comfortable silence settles around you as you ground yourself and take in the space.
“You didn’t finish that one.”
He follows your gaze over to the painting of the pale pink rose. The middle of the canvas contrasts the rest with nothing but dull line art to show the completed picture. It looks like a work in progress. “I know, but I think I like it like that.” He looks back over at you and you at him.
“It looks like you."
It’s been seven months. Graduation has come and gone in the middle of your blooming relationship with Hyunjin and you’ve dedicated each and every second of your budding love to taming the flame.
Each kiss from him has kept the spark of fear at bay and each touch has taught you how to stop running. It’s been a slow and cautious process that he is more than proud to be a part of. He takes pride in it. He takes pride in being with you.
The smooth breeze of late summer brushes against your skin as you step out of your car. The white dress that Hyunjin picked out for you sticks to you like paint on a canvas as you make your way up to the art gallery.
It’s buzzing inside, people stand and stare in awe at each piece while whispering and pointing to their favorite details. You stop and stand in the middle of it all, taking it all in with a slow spin on the balls of your feet. You take in every corner until you turn around completely and you’re met with the face of the artist himself.
“Hi.” Hyunjin smiles down at you, brown baggy flannel hanging from his shoulders.
“Hi.” You stare back at him with a gleaming smile in your eyes. You take in every inch of him, scanning him like he should be framed and hanging on the walls around you.
“Why are you staring at me like that?” Hyunjin wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him. “I like staring at you.” Your response makes him beam a shy smile.
“You should be staring at the art. The artist might get sad if you don’t.” He kisses your forehead before letting you go. Some people around you stare over at the two of you with curious eyes. They’re eager to put a face to the muse of the showing artist.
You take his hand and lead him over to the piece that a couple is walking away from. You stand in front of it hand in hand as you study it for what feels like the millionth time. “This one is my favorite.” The incomplete pale pink rose stares back at you.
“And why is that?” Hyunjin has that smile in his eyes as he stares up with you. The memory of this piece's origin plays behind his eyes like a memorized movie.
“I’ve been told that it looks like me.” You lay your head on his shoulder and wrap your arm around his. A chill runs up his spine and he blames it on you. You and the love he feels glowing pink and white around you.
“There you are.” History repeats itself as the lady that you’ve come to know as Dalia interrupts the two of you. “I wanted to check in with you, how does it feel to finally have your own exhibition?”
Hyunjin smiles at her politely, turning towards her a bit with his fingers still threaded through yours. “It’s amazing. Thank you, you’ve done a wonderful job putting this together.”
“Oh, please, it’s nothing. This is all you.” You watch her as her eyes smile just as they always have. Her hand brushes over his arm in a carefully calculated move. She’s still shameless and unprofessional. “This piece is my favorite. The unfinished look is unique and raw. What inspired this one?”
You grin to yourself as you listen to her. She’s trying so hard that it’s difficult not to laugh.
“Actually.” Hyunjin pulls your hand a bit, leading you forward so that you’re right next to him. It’s impossible for Dalia to ignore you now. Her eyes scan you reluctantly and the smile on her face falters for a second before she pulls it together. Gosh, that's gratifying.
“My lovely rose here is the inspiration for it all.” Hyunjin looks over at you with a glow that is unmatched even by the largest of flames. “None of this would be possible without her.”
It’s like Dalia disappears once Hyunjin looks over at you. You’re the only two in the room as far as you’re concerned. “Oh, well that’s just - that’s wonderful.” Her staggered speech pulls you both out of your loving haze.
“Such a … sweet profession of love.” She glares over at you though you’re sure that in her head she’s doing a wonderful job at hiding her contempt. “I should make sure that everything is running smoothly. Please excuse me.”
She clears her throat awkwardly before she departs, you and Hyunjin both bid her smiling farewells before turning to each other with wide smiles. “Show off.” You push his shoulder playfully and he laughs.
“I didn’t do anything.” You roll your eyes as you both wander over to the next piece on the wall. You stare up at the two pink roses in a lone vase, a shadow of sunlight casts down on them both as they rise towards its shining glow.
A comfortable silence blankets the two of you while you listen to the soft buzz of the people around you. You squeeze his hand softly and he squeezes back just as you open your mouth to speak.
“She still wants to fuck you.” He smiles
“Shut up.”
Thank you for reading! I'd love to know what you thought about this fic! Leave a comment or send an ask to let me know! ❣️
ALSO, please follow my back-up acct. @minniee-verse 💕
I love the process of realization and acceptance AND the confrontation. At the beginning, when the chill runs up his spine, he blames it on the breeze, but at the end he blames it on her 🥹. So lovely
This was the kind of love I yearned for years when I was an avoidant. I never received it tho ^^
I'm glad you noticed that part! There were tons of references and loops throughout the story. Some are more hidden than others but I'm so glad you got that one! Thank you for reading and enjoying. 🫶🏾
Oh, don't worry! I'm sure they're things that are more obvious to. My bf reads everything before I post it and I had to explain the references to him 😭😭 You can try to find them but they might just be things that are obvious to me 😅
Heck yeah! I'll tell you anything that you miss. I started as a poet before writing fiction, so I read this fic kind of like a poem. And I picture it kinda like a film that has loops and reflections in the story. There's just bits and pieces of symbolism and stuff. Some small and some bigger. Anyway, good luck! Lmk how it goes 😅🫶🏾
SYNOPSIS. in which wonwoo tells you about his first (and only) love.
PAIRING. jeon wonwoo x gn!reader
GENRE. fluff, hurt/comfort, friends to lovers
WARNINGS. self-doubt talk on reader's end, self-indulgent wooweee, this was painfully hard to write lmao n have no idea if any of this makes sense
WORD COUNT. 1.6k
requested from anon: Hiiiiiiii first of all congratssss for you 2k. For the event, ive been thinking the same exact story with wonwoo and #6 from list 3
- #6: “You’re not hard to love, nor are you unlovable. You just… Need to let me in, and let me show you you’re just as worthy of love as anyone else is.”
notes: i'd quite literally do anything to have these kinds of talks with wonwoo ☹️☹️. anyway i hope u all enjoy this <3 hits close to home >< tysm anon hehe <3
join the 2k celebration!
"Hey, uh, Wonwoo?"
"Mhm?"
"...have you ever been in love?"
A cricket chirps into the evening air right after you ask, and you suddenly feeling like you're holding in a long-winded breath. Then you hear a loud crunch by Wonwoo from the crackers he was snacking on, and you blink up to him wiping away the corner of his mouth. There's the slightest glimpse of a curve to his lips that you manage to catch.
He silently offers you a cracker in your direction, the anticipating silence between the two of you growing thickly. You take the cracker from his hand, muttering a quiet thanks, before nibbling on it absentmindedly.
The night is absolutely beautiful right now, swearing that you could spot and make out the constellations above if you squinted hard enough. The distant chirping of crickets is the only sound that breaks the silence as the coolness of the night rolls in, carrying with it slight breeze that whispers through the leaves overhead the balcony of your apartment.
"I have."
You swiftly turn your head to him, eyes widening intriguingly. "You have?"
The chuckle that leaves him is somewhat awkward, a tad bit hesitant. He crumples up the bag of crackers and sets it aside, chugging down the last sips of his drink and setting down the empty can as well.
"Did you... ever confess to them?" You ask, suddenly feeling curious, though there's a bit of disappointment at the tip of your tongue.
You swear you could see the thoughts swirling around his head. Wonwoo keeps his eyes fixed up to the night sky. There's a distant look in his eyes, as though he's peering into some past moment that only he can see, before he shakes his head, a faint smile crossing over his lips.
"No, I didn't," he answers calmly. "They were too far away, so... I just chose to admire them at a distance."
You lean back against the wall behind, your shoulder momentarily brushing against his. "Did they know you?"
Wonwoo purses his lips together. "Mhm."
"Well, you missed your chance!" You exclaim, prodding him playfully with your elbow. "I can't believe you let them get away, dude. Like right through the little cracks of your fingers. You could've been in a relationship by now."
This earns you a low, playful scoff from Wonwoo. "Are you assuming that they loved me back?"
Immediately, you feel the heat crawl up your neck and to the tips your ears.
"Well, um... Yeah, I am," You admit sheepishly, letting out a small sigh. "I mean, who wouldn't fall for a guy like you? You're nice and... charming. I think anyone would be lucky to be loved by you."
There's a silence that falls between the two of you, one simply more than just comfortable yet denser than ever, because the thought of being loved by Wonwoo seems to linger longer than you notice. You steal a glance at him, seeing his face still turned upwards towards the night sky and the moonlight reflecting on his glasses. Strands of his dark hair blow across his forehead in the breeze. You can't quite decipher his expression, but a flicker of something𑁋perhaps surprise, maybe even amusement𑁋dances on his features for a brief moment.
He finally turns back to you, a small, hesitant smile playing on his lips. "You think so?"
"Yeah," You confirm, nodding lightly. "Absolutely."
Wonwoo still keeps his eyes on you as you glance away, seeing the way you fidget with your hands in your lap and smoothing out the creases in your pants nervously. He glances down at his own hand and back at yours, lips pursing together in contemplation, but only folds his fingers back together the second you reach over him to grab the crumpled-up bag of crackers. He feels a little bit too warm in his sweater right now.
"Are you okay?" he asks.
A crunch echoes through the air. Then another. And another.
"I've just been kinda... thinking a lot lately, I guess," You reply slowly, quietly. "And it sort of makes me sound desperate in a way, but there are times I just wonder if, um... if anyone has ever felt the same way about me."
Wonwoo tilts his head slightly. "Love?"
"Not just love, but... seeing me, you know?" Being able to talk about this out loud makes your chest feel heavy. "Since it's hard these days to find someone who sees you for who you are, not for who you can be. I... I just feel like I'm hard to love sometimes. Hell, maybe even unlovable. It’s hard to break out of that mindset when things get hard again.”
A thoughtful quietness seeps through the nighttime breeze, which sends goosebumps up and down your skin, but you don't mind it because you know that Wonwoo is listening either way. And the more you think about it𑁋the thought of knowing that he's here, with his presence is right next to you𑁋it seems to comfort you more than you notice.
There's a small hum of acknowledgement that you hear from his end, unsure if it's just your imagination or if he's actually responding as your mind feels a little jumbled up right now. But then Wonwoo shifts beside you, his arm lightly pressing against yours.
"But I... I think I've reached a point in time where I can say I love myself a little more than a few years ago, or last year, or even just yesterday," You continue to ramble a bit aimlessly, chuckling dryly to yourself. "It’d be nice to share that with someone too, you know? To finally get over this loneliness. But it's not entirely a sad loneliness or a happy one. It's, like, uh... both put together, I guess."
A few moments of silence pass. You feel Wonwoo gently nudge your leg with his.
"I'm proud of you."
You peer up to look at him, mind nearly going blank from the way he's gazing at you. Or maybe it's just the moonlight that's making him appear so... picturesque. "What for?"
"For loving yourself, silly," Wonwoo muses almost cheekily, and the delighted tone that you catch makes your stomach leap. "Even if it's just by a small percentage than yesterday, it's still okay. You're doing good. I want you to know that."
You're doing good. It's just those three singular words that has heat forming in your eyes that you somehow manage to blink back before anything could spill, and hearing it come from Wonwoo feels different. There's a vulnerable sweetness to them, a sincerity that catches you off-guard. You force a smile𑁋a grateful one, nonetheless𑁋before it shifts into a frown.
And Wonwoo catches it right away. "What's wrong?"
Your lips form a thin line, pressing together in thought. You refuse to acknowledge why you think your heart feels slightly... jealous.
"I hope whoever you loved before knows how lucky they are one day," You say to him. "if you're still in love with them, that is..."
Wonwoo stills for a minute, pensively. "I am."
"You are?"
"I never stopped."
You stare at him for a few moments, an eyebrow lifted in disbelief at him, before crossing your arms together and letting out a small, incredulous laugh. "Then you should've said that you're in love with them, idiot."
Wonwoo sucks in a breath.
"I'm in love with you."
You blink instinctively, once, twice, three times, momentarily thinking that Wonwoo's presence might somehow disappear into thin air. But he's still there𑁋a certain softness in the way he's looking at you, a gentleness that seems to wrap around you like a warm embrace𑁋waiting for you. His words suspend heavily in the air, and maybe the world is also holding its breath just as you are too.
"And... You're not hard to love, nor are you unlovable. You're far from that," Wonwoo continues, voice tender, fond, and soft as a lullaby. "You just... need to let me in, and let me show you you're just as worthy of love as anyone else is."
You could only sit merely frozen at this point, throat tightened and jaw dropped in shock among many other weird, fuzzy feelings happening throughout your body. Something between relief and disbelief. Hope and hesitancy. Comfort and uncertainty. You have the capacity to run yet you choose not to𑁋you're letting him in, letting the warmth of his words seep into the cracks of your doubt.
Your mind reels dizzily, almost like the world has been tilting away off-balance.
"You... You're in love with me?" You repeat, almost dumbly, because you cannot seem to fathom anything that's been said in the past few moments. "All that talk about earlier... about who you..."
Wonwoo hangs his head down low, rubbing at his neck in a bashful manner. "It was about you."
"And you never... you never told me?"
"Honestly, I'd like to think a part of it was you being a tad bit oblivious." And then he just simply grins, his nose crinkling along with it. "But that's okay. Watching you slowly figure yourself out made me realise that maybe I needed to find myself a little more too."
You open your mouth to say something, but nothing comes out, and you could feel the heat of embarrassment spreading painfully throughout your face. At first, you have the urge to brush it all away as a silly misunderstanding. Maybe laugh it off, retreat back inside, and go to sleep pretending all of this didn't happen. But the sincerity in his eyes stops you.
You lick your dry lips, the cool night air beginning to feel a lot less suffocating.
"Did you?" You ask vaguely, before shaking your head repeating, "Did you... find yourself?"
Wonwoo lets his eyes roam over you, taking you in, before leaning back on the wall and bringing his gaze back up toward the night sky. Your eyes refuse to leave him, and perhaps this is what it's like to admire someone from afar and close up all at once.
The two of you take a deep, deliberate exhale together.
"Yeah," he answers, smiling softly. "I think I found myself right where I want to be."
MIGRATION | bang chan
first date series. strangers to lovers.
pairing: bang chan x fem!reader
word count: 5.5k
genre: fluff, romance, falling in love at first sight
summary: you've never been lucky when it comes to dating, but a blind date with chan just might turn that around
author’s note: hello and welcome to my first date series!! i seriously had so much fun writing this and i’m so excited to continue with the other members. i hope you all enjoy! if you liked it, please remember that any and all feedback is appreciated!! happy reading <3
“So…I know a guy.”
You groan, throwing your head back against the cushion of the booth you’re currently shoved into. Changbin drops his fork to gesture at you with his hand, a look of exasperation on his face.
“Come on, I haven’t even said anything yet!”
“The problem is that you’ve said anything at all.” You say, glaring at him as you reach for your drink.
Changbin, as much as you love him, is notorious for being the worst wing man in the history of wing men. His most recent pick, Jooyoung, was a friend of his from high school. A freelance writer, the owner of a snazzy apartment in one of the more sophisticated districts of Seoul, and conveniently single. They’d recently reconnected after a mutual friend threw a party that they both went to, and he was ecstatic to try and set the two of you up.
You’d been reluctant, rightfully so, but Changbin is anything but a quitter and you also just so happen to be the world’s biggest pushover (his pout is just too good, okay?), so you’d agreed on the off chance that it just might work out.
Long story short, it didn’t.
Jooyoung was probably the biggest asshole you’d ever been on a date with. Not that you were surprised, though. Changbin’s circle of friends when he was younger mainly consisted of grade-A douchebags who were born with a golden spoon in their mouths. Perks of being born into a wealthy family and attending one of the most elite private schools in the country, apparently. Changbin had attended a university on the outskirts of Seoul for a reason. Lesser known, laid back—to study music of all things—and the sole reason for his father’s headache, as he’d put it. That’s where he met you.
“Okay, but I think this guy might be the one.” He makes air quotes around the two words, and you scoff as you cross your arms.
“And what would you know about that?”
“Um, a lot? You’re my best friend, I know exactly what you’re looking for.”
This is the part where things go south—or so you assume. Changbin puts on the puppy eyes, jutting his bottom lip out to hell as he stares at you from across the table. You glare at him dead on, unwavering. He won’t get you this time. Not over your dead body.
“At least let me tell you about him?”
“No.”
“I met him at the company. He makes music just like me, only slightly better. And you know how I am, I don’t just say that stuff. That means he’s really good.”
Choosing to ignore him, you go back to poking at your noodles.
“He’s from Australia. Born here, moved there when he was young, then moved back to pursue music. Kinda ballsy if you ask me. But he speaks English, so at least communication won’t be as much of an issue as other guys.”
A small crack in your composure. The idea of this guy growing up somewhere other than Korea is…pretty intriguing.
Despite moving here three years ago for school, it’s still kind of hard to communicate when your Korean could be more polished than it is. You’d basically kept to yourself for the first year until you met Changbin. He’d easily integrated you into his group of other music majors, even though you stuck out like a sore thumb as both a foreigner and a stem major. But if it weren’t for him, you think that you might’ve hauled ass back home a long time ago due to the isolation. So to be introduced to someone who can speak english, under the prospect of possibly dating them, sparks a bit more interest.
Changbin notices the slight twitch of your brow and smirks, one side of his mouth pulling downwards. Bastard.
“Hmm, what else? Oh! Dude’s got a killer set of dimples. You’re into that, aren’t you? You used to go on and on about that younger guy in your physics class during senior year. What was his name—Jeongsuk? Jeong—Jinyoung? Jeongin! It was Jeongin.” Changbin snaps his fingers like he’s impressed with his own memory, pointing at you as you fix him with a blank stare. “He has dimplessss.” He sing-songs for emphasis.
And, really, this should not be the breaking point. You’re better than this. You’re not so shallow that you would throw away your pride for a man you’ve never met—let alone never seen before—all because he has dimples.
But, once again, you’re a pushover. A big one. So yeah, fuck it.
“What’s his name?”
Changbin blinks like he wasn’t expecting you to fall for it. “Seriously? That’s what got you?”
“You have five seconds to tell me his name before I change my mind.”
He scoffs, mouth agape. “I went as far as disregarding my own talents to play up this guy and his music making abilities—”
“Five.”
“—tried to give you a little bit of a backstory, too—”
“Four.”
“—and the dimples are the final nail in the coffin?”
“Three.”
“Chan! His name is Chan. God. Just—stop counting. It freaks me out.”
Chan. You throw the name around in your brain for a bit, pointedly ignoring the way Changbin is whining about how you sound like his mother when you do the whole number thing. It’s kind of…cute. Not enough to conjure up an idea of what he might look like, but putting a name to a faceless stranger with dimples in your head is gonna have to do for now.
“You swear this guy is normal?”
Changbin rolls his eyes. “Define normal.”
“Okay, let me rephrase myself,” you push your plate forward, laying your forearms on the table as an indicator that you’re serious, “Is he an asshole?”
“No.”
“Hm. Okay. So that’s a maybe.”
“What the fuck? I just said no.”
“Yeah? You also set me up with Jooyoung, remember? The guy who literally started flirting with the waitress right in front of me five minutes into our date? And then proceeded to yell at her when his fries weren’t salted?”
“How was I supposed to know…” Changbin mumbles, looking off to the side guiltily.
“Nevermind. Just—if this goes bad, I’m blaming you. And then I’m never going on a blind date with one of your friends again. Matter of fact, I’m never going on a date again, period. Deal?”
Changbin grins, the apples of his cheeks shiny under the restaurant lighting. He holds his hand out for you to shake, and you take it hesitantly, grimacing when he uses his strength to jostle your arm like a ragdoll.
“Deal.”
🎥🍿
Any hope you had for the date going smoothly starts to dwindle once Chan texts you the day of.
You’d gotten his number from Changbin, who had so kindly already given Chan your number before he’d even broached the subject with you. The resulting lecture about privacy and consent may or may not have extended the rest of your time at the restaurant, a sheepish Changbin rubbing at the back of his neck while you berated him for his lack of common sense.
When your phone buzzes on your bathroom counter, Chan’s name flashing across the screen, you mistakenly think that he might be messaging because he’s early. Which, given the fact that you were standing in nothing but a towel, hair still wet from your shower and face covered in moisturizer you hadn’t rubbed into your skin yet, would be less than ideal.
Chan [12:32p.m.]
Hey! I’m really sorry to have to do this, but can we push the date back an hour?
Something came up at the studio
I tried to get out of it but I have a deadline to meet, client probably won’t be too happy of their track isn’t done on time
Great. Already off to a rough start.
In his defense though, you appreciate the fact that he’s messaged a whopping two hours in advance. Most people probably wouldn’t be bothered to allow that much of a grace period.
You [2:33p.m.]
no worries!!!
you didn’t buy the tickets yet, did you?
Chan [2:34p.m.]
Nope! So we should be fine
I’ll purchase them for 6 and then be there to scoop you up around 5:30 if that’s cool?
You [2:36p.m.]
sounds perfect
hope stuff goes well at the studio!!
Chan [2:40p.m.]
You’re sweet
Thank you, I’ll see you soon :)
You’re sweet. You stare at the words on the screen, your brain buffering for a moment. A big fat loading circle floating above your head.
Suddenly it’s way too hot in the bathroom. You blame the fact that you shower with the water cranked all the way up to boiling, because really there’s no other explanation for the warmth spreading throughout your cheeks.
To be fair, it’s been almost a year now since you’ve had any sort of positive interaction with another male. On one hand, your last relationship ended in a ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ ordeal that most definitely gave the impression that it was you. On the other hand, most of the dates you’ve been on have ruined themselves within the first five minutes, never really giving you the chance to feel any sort of connection. Cocky attitudes, overly pushy encounters, and even someone who walked into the cafe you were seated at, took one look at you, and walked right back out. That one still hurts.
It’s a little sad that Chan is the only guy out of the mix whose elicited any sort of reaction out of you. Especially since you haven’t even met him yet.
The extra hour that you have to compensate for flies by a lot quicker than you expect, and before you know it Chan is messaging that he’s five minutes away.
You take one last glance in the mirror: a pair of light wash jeans that sit right above your hips, black halter top bodysuit, and a thin cream colored cardigan to tie it all together. Simple and cute. A movie date doesn’t really call for all the dramatics, and you’d hate to overdress for a first impression.
You’re in the middle of reapplying your chapstick when the doorbell rings.
Take it easy, you say to yourself, inhaling deeply as you reach for the door handle. You let the air out with one final huff, swinging the door open only to be met by a bouquet of daisies directly in front of your face.
You blink in surprise. Well that’s a first. Before you get a chance to speak, the bouquet is being lowered, and the moment Chan’s face comes into view causes a small gasp to fall from your lips.
He’s…cute. Beautiful, even. A bright smile, dimples that tuck themselves into his laugh lines as his eyes disappear into crescents much like the moon, and lips that make your head spin when his tongue darts out to wet them nervously. His hair falls messily across his forehead in a faded hue of purple with hints of brown, definitely unconventional and an obvious result of one too many washes, but he makes it work. He makes it work well.
He clears his throat, brings a fist up to his mouth to emphasize it, and then grins. “Hi there.”
It takes a second for your brain to catch up. Even his voice is attractive. He’s using english, which leads you to assume that Changbin has already told him that you’re not from here. His accent is there, not too noticeable but also strong enough to be picked up on.
“Hey.” You smile, rubbing a hand up and down your arm.
“These are for you. I, uh, as an apology for being late. Is it too much?”
You shake your head quickly. “No! No, these are—they’re beautiful. I love them. Thank you…Chan.” His name rolls off your tongue hesitantly, but it all disappears as soon as he flashes that smile again.
“Good, I’m glad,” his voice catches the breathy end of the laugh he lets out, “This is weird, isn’t it? I’m sorry, I don’t really do well with this kind of stuff. But you look really nice, and I’m excited. My car is parked just out front if you’re ready to go.”
Honest. Awkward. A laugh that makes you want to hear it over and over again. You were sold the minute his eyes met yours. Chan offers his elbow for you to take like you’re in some cheesy romance movie from your childhood.
Yeah. This one is definitely gonna go well.
🎥🍿
Chan might not show it, but he’s just as nervous as you are.
You wouldn’t be able to tell at first glance that he spent an entire forty-five minutes deciding on an outfit, only to settle with some jeans and a white shirt, a jacket thrown on top for some color.
When Changbin first proposed the idea of going on a date with you, he was adamant that he wasn’t looking for anything right now. But as soon as you opened the door, eyes wide and looking like the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen, he’s glad he said yes.
“So what movie are we seeing?” you ask, frowning when Chan laughs. “What? What’s funny?”
“It’s a surprise.” He smiles, rushing forward to hold the door of the car open for you. When he puts his hand against the top part to block your head, you have to suppress the smattering of butterfly wings that start to clamor against your ribcage.
Chan is sweet. He double checks that you’re buckled in before driving off, he asks if there’s any specific music you want to listen to before foregoing it all entirely to ask about you instead, he listens with an attentiveness that has you feeling seen and heard, and he smiles with such genuinity and warmth that you feel cold once it disappears. You stare at him in awe, like he’s a figment of your imagination.
Chan’s been staring back, too. He spares glances in your direction when you’re not looking, feels the steady thump of his heart gradually increase whenever you lean a little too far to the left when he makes you laugh, and he thinks your voice is prettier than anything that’s ever played on the radio.
You learn more about him as he drives. He moved back from Australia when he was seventeen, he’s got two younger siblings and an adorable puppy named Berry back home (and pictures on his dashboard to prove it), he prefers Australia’s summers over Seoul’s winters but he finds more inspiration here in the city than anywhere else. You resonate with the fact that he doesn’t really have anyone here besides a small circle of friends. No family, no one to fall back on when things get tough.
Chan talks like he’s an old friend, like he’s re-telling a story you’ve heard a thousand times. He makes it easy to fall into step with him as if you’ve been here all along.
By the time the two of you get to the movie theater, the initial awkwardness that had hung in the air is gone, replaced by comfort and ease. Chan throws the car in park and all but books it out of his seat to open your door for you, and you giggle when he makes a dramatic bow as you exit.
The theater is kind of busy for a Thursday night. There are families with their kids lined up to get tickets and groups of teenagers at the concessions, all of which make for a crowded lobby. Chan glances down when you place a hand on his arm, mostly because you want to stay close, but also because it’s hard to ignore the feeling of being magnetized towards him. He smiles, bending at the elbow to allow your arm to slip into his.
There are cardboard cutouts along the sides of the lobby, all of which serve to promote the newest animated release about a family of ducks. You squint at the showtimes once the two of you make it to the front of the counter, letting your eyes scan the movie titles until you finally land on—
“Two tickets for Migration, under Bang Chan.”
The girl behind the counter looks up, her eyes bored. She can’t be any older than sixteen, most likely resentful about the fact that she’s stuck here on a school night. “The kids movie?” She asks, unimpressed.
Chan braves a glance in your direction and—ah, there goes that grin again. Cue the butterflies. You’d agree to a three hour long showing of static and white noise if it meant he’d never stop doing that.
“Yup, that’s the one.”
Tickets in hand, a smiling Chan right next to you, and a massive line for popcorn that honestly might have the two of you late for the previews. “We’re seeing a kids movie?” You ask, moving up a spot in the line.
“Mmhm. I spent so long looking at all the options. The romcoms seemed boring, Bin mentioned that the newest superhero movie was bad, and I figured a scary one was too cliché,” he eyes you sidelong, “Unless you’re into that.”
You huff out a laugh, not really expecting him to be so straightforward, “I definitely am not.”
“Hm, so the old yawn to put my arm around you trick won’t work?” His eyes are playful, but something about the idea of being in even more contact with him has your stomach doing flips.
“Nope. Sorry. Seen that one before.” You say, making him laugh, his earring dangling when he drops his chin towards his chest.
“I guess I’ll have to figure out something else then.”
Another thing you learn about Chan is that he enjoys interesting food combinations.
“You like peanut m&ms?” he asks, throwing a bag of them onto the counter when you nod your head. After he pays, he pockets his wallet and turns to you with a bucket of popcorn tucked under his arm and a large drink with two straws in his hand. “Could you grab the candy?”
First door, theater one. There are a bunch of parents and their kids entering ahead of you, all of them buzzing with excitement. It’s a little funny, the fact that two grown adults—no kid in tow—are walking into the showing of a kids movie.
Chan leads you to the very back row. “For the kids, just in case they can’t see over us.” He quickly clarifies after noticing the way your eyebrows shoot up in silent question, but even in the dim lighting you can still see the tips of his ears turning pink.
“Taking me to a kids movie and then propositioning me in the presence of five year olds? You’ve got some nerve.” You say, timing it perfectly as Chan is leaning forward to take a sip of the drink that’s placed in the cupholder between the two of you. He sputters around the straw in surprise, coughing into his fist.
“That’s not—” You laugh, cutting him off as he stares at you with red eyes from his coughing fit. The mood shifts after that, and Chan visibly relaxes into his seat as he starts throwing jokes out a lot easier than before.
“Learned this from my dad,” he says, opening the bag of m&ms, “It’s my favorite thing to do at the movies. Haven’t been in a while because—well, I don’t really have anyone to go with.”
You watch as he dumps the candy into the popcorn bucket, shaking it to mix everything together. He reaches in to grab a piece of popcorn and an m&m at the same time, popping it into his mouth.
“Oh my god,” he sighs, slumping into his seat, “Forgot how good that is.”
When you don’t respond, he looks over. “You okay?”
Are you? You’re not sure. Every bone in your body is screaming bloody murder because Chan is making it really hard to not want to lean over and kiss the concerned frown off of his stupidly pretty face.
The thing about it is that you don’t do blind dates. And you most especially don’t enjoy them. But Chan is different. Chan holds doors open for you and makes corny jokes. Chan laughs at everything like it’s his last day on earth and he’s making up for lost time. Chan listens when you talk and responds with genuine interest. Chan compliments the little girl in the theater lobby who’s wearing a princess dress to watch the new superhero movie. Chan shares something as special as his dad’s favorite movie snack with you. Chan is just…Chan. And you like him. A lot.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay, I’m just—thank you. For sharing that with me.” You say, the corners of your mouth lifting.
“Stop doing that.” He mumbles, eyes trained ahead.
“Doing what?”
“Smiling. It makes my head spin.”
Your heart slams against your chest. You’ve spent the entire date trying to make sense of the way Chan makes you feel, trying to put it all into words. Yet here he is, right in front of you, saying his thoughts as they come and absolutely ruining your resolve in the process. Like it’s easy for him.
There’s no time to answer when the lights go down, the screen up front widening to signal the start of the movie.
Just like any other kids movie, it’s easy to get caught up in all the surface level jokes while also understanding the themes. You and Chan laugh outwardly at some parts, hold your breath at the suspenseful ones. It’s almost like you’re a kid again, enjoying yourself fully for the first time in a really, really long while.
Chan was right, the popcorn and m&m combination is good. You reach back into the bucket for more, freezing when Chan does the same and his knuckles brush yours in the slightest of touches, sending a jolt of electricity up your arm. It happens a few more times, each one leaving his hand lingering for far longer than the last, until eventually he makes a show of digging really hard for an m&m and hooks his pinky with yours in between the popcorn. It’s cheesy and cliché but god does it make your stomach do somersaults.
About three-quarters of the way through the movie, when it’s clear that neither one of you are willing to take it the next step further, you lean into his ear.
“You okay? You look kind of tired.”
Chan turns, confused. He’s certain that he wasn’t dozing off. He did have a late night last night. He was up working on the track that still somehow managed to hold him back today, hoping to have everything polished so that he didn’t run into any obstacles before your date. But that didn’t really work out in the end.
“Huh? No, I’m fine. Honest.”
“You sure?” you ask, a slight lift to your voice, “I don’t know, you looked like you were about to yawn.”
The light from the movie hits the left side of his face, illuminating all of his features in a way that makes your breath hitch. He’s pretty. So, so pretty.
Chan blinks, slow, and then his confusion slowly turns to one of understanding. Cue the grin.
“You know, now that I’m thinking about it…I am kind of tired.” He makes a show of fake yawning, stretches his arms above his head (and not blocking any children since you’re in the back row, thankfully), before bringing his right arm down and around your shoulders.
You spend the rest of the movie like that, tucked into Chan’s side while his fingers move gently against your shoulder. He’s unbelievably warm, and eventually you find your head resting in the spot just between his shoulder and his neck, his cheek pushed up against the side of your head. The position makes it easier to reach up and pat his eyes dry at the end, a single tear slipping out as he sniffled and mumbles a ‘M’not crying’ that has you giggling and doting all over him.
He doesn’t move his arm for the entire walk back to the car, and you momentarily mourn the loss when he opens the door for you (again!) so you can climb in. When he finally gets in on the other side, he says nothing, just reaches over to intertwine his fingers with yours and places your joined hands on the center console like it’s something you’ve done a thousand times.
“Ready to go home?” He asks, looking over at you.
You glance down at your hands, then back up at him. “Is it weird if I say no?”
“Not at all,” Chan grins, throwing the car into drive, “I was hoping you would say that.”
🎥🍿
“For you.”
Chan plops down on the bench, a hand outstretched with a steaming hot chocolate ready for you to take.
“Thanks,” you smile, cradling the cup between your hands.
After some deliberation, you and Chan had decided to come to the Han River. It’s quiet, the bridge lights reflecting off the water as the sounds of the city fade into the background. The temperature is slightly on the colder side, the tail end of winter just barely there. When he notices the slight shiver of your shoulders after a particularly strong gust of wind, Chan shucks his jacket off in a heartbeat to drape over you.
“Oh, you don’t—”
“You’re cold,” he scolds, pulling at the collar of the jacket to tighten it around you. His hand lingers near the base of your neck, fingers itching to reach out and touch. He doesn’t though, just smiles and settles back into the bench. “Plus I think Changbin might actually kill me if something were to happen to you.”
“Oh please,” you roll your eyes, “Ignore him. I’m not a baby.”
Chan takes a sip of his own hot chocolate, licks his lips to catch the excess. Not that you’re staring. “I’m serious. I mean, I get it. He told me that you’re here alone and stuff.”
You hum in understanding, turning your head to stare out at the water. “So are you.”
It’s Chan’s turn to look at you now, his elbows resting against his knees, and you watch out of the corner of your eye as his face turns unreadable.
The silence stretches thin, nothing but the sound of cars passing and a dog barking nearby. It’s kind of comforting in a way. Being on your own in a new place has been one of the hardest transitions you’ve ever had to deal with. There were times where it felt like a mistake, where you wished that you’d never even gotten on the plane. But then there were times where you felt lucky to be experiencing the things you are; to be able to try new things and pursue a life for yourself that you never thought possible.
“How’d you do it?” you ask quietly, turning to meet Chan’s gaze. “I mean, you were young. Seventeen is basically still a kid. Being alone in a place like this is scary as an adult, I can’t even imagine what that was like.”
Chan smiles, but it’s sad. His eyes twinkle with something like resentment, the lights from the bridge making it look like he’s glowing. A flame that’ll never burn out. “Would you believe me if I said I’m still figuring it out?” The end of it comes out as a laugh, but you can tell he means it.
“I don’t know, being a big shot music producer with deadlines and clients seems pretty figured out to me.”
Chan nods and stares at the cup in his hands. “My parents hated it. Still do, I think.” You don’t say anything. Chan is grateful for that; grateful for the space you’re giving him to explain. “They wanted more for me I guess. But I’m not sure that more would’ve necessarily been what I wanted, you know? I’m content with where I am now. I’m doing something I love, even if it took a while to get here. They don’t see it.” He chews his lip nervously, fingers playing with the soggy material of the paper cup’s rim.
Chan doesn’t know why he’s saying any of this. He’s not the type to completely bare himself out to anyone, to scoop away at his insides until there’s nothing left besides the hollowness he feels whenever he thinks about how he traded his life back home for a life of music. But you’re different somehow. Chan knew since the moment he saw you, felt it in the way your eyes lit up whenever he spoke and in the ease of how well the two of you got along. He was doomed from the start.
“I see it.” you say, your eyes still fixed on the water. “I might’ve only just met you today, but I see it. And I get it, too. Maybe not to the same extent, but the feeling of wanting to do something for yourself even if it meant losing something else. There’s purpose in that, in you. It’s okay to be selfish if it means you’re prioritizing your happiness.” You let the words settle for a bit, hoping that you don’t sound too shallow. When you turn to look at him, he’s already looking back.
“You don’t know me enough to say that.”
“I don’t have to know you to believe in you, Chan.”
A beat of silence, and then he’s laughing, short and punctuated as he lets his head fall forward with a small shake.
“You’re…”
“What? Corny?” you supply, smiling over at him.
“No,” he says, meeting your gaze. “Perfect.”
You huff out an incredulous laugh, looking away to hide the blush that’s spreading across your cheeks. “You can’t just—god, now who’s corny? Huh?”
“I never said I wasn’t corny.” Chan argues, sitting up to face you fully.
“Yeah but you can’t just say stuff like that.”
“Why not? I think you like it.”
Your mouth opens and closes quickly, lost for words. Chan’s closer now, a lot closer than he was before. One arm thrown across the back of the bench, loosely framing you in, he bends it at the elbow to bring a hand up and tuck your hair behind your ear.
“I never said that.” you mumble, your gaze flicking down to his lips and then back up again.
“You want me to stop then?” he asks, voice just above a whisper. You know what he’s implying the minute his fingers trace the shell of your ear, moving down slowly until they start playing with the collar of his jacket.
“Is it bad if I say no?”
Chan’s hand is warm to the touch, ice to fire. You lean into it. A moth to a flame, one that’ll never go out.
“Not at all,” he repeats, just like earlier, “I was hoping you would say that.”
A dog barking in the distance. Cars beeping as they pass by. A plane flying overhead. A group of friends laughing as they ride past on their bikes. The minute Chan’s lips connect with yours, everything fades, the sounds warbling together like static. Unintelligible; nothing besides the feeling of Chan kissing you matters.
It’s slow, nothing more than a press, but you feel it in every fiber of your being. Kissing Chan feels like the poles of the earth are colliding, meeting in the middle and sending its molten core spreading throughout your entire body. Warm, warm, warm. Chan is warm. He’s soft and gentle and his lashes tickle your cheeks when his eyes flutter closed halfway through because he was too busy etching your features into his memory.
You’re the first to pull away, admiring the way Chan’s eyes slowly peel open, lips swollen and pink. Unable to resist, you lean in and peck them once more, giggling when he blinks at you in shock.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been as compelled to kiss someone as I was just now.” You smile.
“Me too,” he sighs, resting his forehead against yours. “I don’t normally kiss on the first date.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t normally do dates anyways. At least not ones that don’t immediately go up in flames.”
“What about now?” Chan asks, raising an eyebrow. “Have I changed your mind?”
“Hmm, I don’t know. I kind of told Changbin that if this was a disaster I was never gonna go on a date again.”
Chan laughs and pulls you into his side, tucked right under his arm like the shape of him was molded in a way to make sure that you fit perfectly in his embrace.
“Is it bad if I say I like that idea?” He asks, glancing down at where your head is resting against his chest.
“Nope,” you say before leaning up to kiss him once more. He smiles into it when he feels your fingers playing with the curls at the nape of his neck, humming softly against your lips.
“Worst date ever, then?” he mumbles against your mouth.
“Yeah,” you sigh, pulling back to stare into his eyes, big and brown and brighter than the stars, “Worst date ever.”
ミ★ synopsis: three heavy words. you’re so used to saying this to the one person that’s always been by your side, because you know that he’s your other half; platonically. these words have always held some sort of meaning whenever you say it to vernon, in hopes that maybe one day he’ll say it back to you.
ミ★ genre: best friends to lovers!au, slow burn(ish), fluff, humor
ミ★ warnings: nothing !
ミ★ word count: 5,773
ミ★ pairings: vernon x gender neutral reader
ミ★ notes: hi guys !! sorry for such a long delay, i was super swamped with my midterms and now i have finals coming up wAAAA but here’s my 2 year anniversary oneshot gift !! i haven’t written a vernon oneshot in a long time and i decided that now was the best time to write one! i kinda based this one off of how my bf and i started dating… LMAO. so this one is v cute :] i hope you guys like this one ! make sure to give vernon lots of love <33
Summary: Your mom’s old cassette player somehow sent you back to the summer of 1990, where you meet a goofy, yet confident guy. Who might make it hard to leave. (non-idol au)
WC:11.6k
Warning:none
If this flops I'm never writing a long fic ever again lol
photo not mine credits to owner.
CRASH! SNAP! CRACK! Panic rages through your body as you stare at your mom’s old cassette player that is now in pieces.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“And why exactly have you decided to take a trip down memory lane?” you asked your mom. Letting out a heave as you set the heavy box down on your mom’s bed.
“I watched Jetsons: The Movie yesterday and it got me feeling nostalgic,” your mom answers you, taking off the lid to the box. “My old cassette player!” your mom called out excitedly as she pulled the old device from the box. “I used to use this all the time,” she tells you.
“I can tell. You used it so much it cracked.” You pointed to the crack that ran across the lid to insert a cassette.
“I don’t remember it having a crack actually.” Your mom scratched her head trying to remember if she was forgetting how the player got the crack.
“Maybe it happened while it was stored. We’re not always gentle with these boxes,” you chuckled.
“You’re right that could be what happened. We should be more gentle with these,” she states gesturing to the boxes.
“I wonder if it still works?” you wondered, taking the cassette player from your mom.
“It would definitely need batteries,” she says tapping the battery compartment. “We don’t have the type of batteries it takes right now. I’ll pick some up when I go to the store.”
“You still remember what batteries it takes?” You raised one of your eyebrows in shock. Your mom laughs.
“I told you I used to use it all the time. I’ll probably never forget what batteries it takes. I bet I could still use this in my sleep,” she affirms.
“I might have to test you on that,” you said playfully. Your mom smiles and shakes her head, looking into the box again. You join her in looking at the contents of the box. “Is this your year book?” you questioned pulling the book from the box.
“Yeah it’s from my junior year? I think.” You open the book, flipping through its pages. You stopped flipping through the pages when a picture of your mom with some guy caught your attention. Your mom had her arms affectionately wrapped around the guy’s middle. Her head tilted in the direction of the guy too.
“And who is this? One of your old boyfriends?” You nudge your mom with your elbow, showing her the picture.
“Oh um I think his name started with a G. I can’t remember right now, but no he wasn’t my boyfriend, not even a friend really. He was more like a nice acquaintance,” she informs.
“So this picture is just for show?” you said.
“Pretty much. That was the first day we met actually,” she tells you. You look at her with your head tilting to the side, as if asking her to explain more.
“He came up behind me and gave me a really tight back hug. I pushed him away harshly because I didn’t know who he was. Then he began to profusely apologize explaining that he mistook me for someone else,” your mom tells you the story.
“Oh my gosh that’s embarrassing. I would have died if I was him,” you laughed.
“Yeah I felt bad for him. Anyway people for the yearbook were coming around, so I pulled him into this side hug to make us even,” she further explained.
“How kind of you,” you remarked half sarcastically. To which your mom playfully shrugged in response. “Did he ever say who he mistook you for?” you questioned.
“You’re so nosy and no I never asked,” she tells you.
“Oh.” you look back down at the picture, wondering who this guy could have mistook your mom for.
After taking the little trip down memory lane you and your mom put the aged objects back inside the boxes, leaving out the cassette player since your mom was going to pick up batteries for it. Then you returned the boxes back to their places in the top shelf of the closet. Proceeding you returned to your bedroom to carry on with your day. You hopped onto your bed, opening your laptop to look for a show to watch.
Later in the day your mom returned home from running some errands: buying groceries and batteries. You helped your mom put the groceries away. Once all the groceries were placed in their spots your mom excitedly ran to her bedroom to grab her old cassette player.
“You’re like an excited kid who’s ready to play with their new toy,” you remark. “Well, I guess it’s an old toy in this case,” you added.
“I am excited,” she states matter-of-factly, opening up the batteries she recently bought. She then opens the battery compartment of the cassette player and carefully places the batteries inside, making sure they're facing the right direction. Succeeding hearing the satisfying click of the battery compartment closing your mom eagerly places one of the headphones into her ear then holds out the other one for you. You take it from her hand and place it into your ear. She looks at you to make sure you’re ready with her finger hovering over the play button. You nodded at her in confirmation and with that your mom pressed the button. Music began to play from the head phones filling the two of your ears. Your mom begins to excitedly jump up and down at her favorite nostalgic item still working. A smile makes its way to your face as you watch your mom’s happiness. While feeling impressed that the old device still works.
“This brings back memories,” your mom says reminiscently as she listens to the song.
“This song is nice,” you comment.
“You like it?” your mom asked. You nodded your head.
“You should keep this for a while then,” she suggested.
“Huh? Why?” Your eyebrows raised in confusion.
“It made me really happy as a teen. I would like to make you happy too. You’re a bit older than I was when I first got it, but that’s ok,” she explains.
“Ok sure, why not?” you agreed.
“Ooh I’ll go grab my other cassette so you can listen to them,” she takes the headphone from her ear before scurrying off to go grab the cassette. When she returns with the cassettes in hand she hands them over with a smile. You didn’t really know how much you would use the cassette player, but you figured you could at least listen to each cassette once. See what kind of music your mom used to listen to. You hit the stop of the cassette player and took off your headphone. You wrapped the headphones around the player as you walked to your room. You set the player on your bedside dresser planning to listen to it later.
Later in the evening you helped your mom make dinner. While waiting for your dad to get back from work. Your dad got home while you were dishing up dinner.
“Perfect timing,” your mom said, greeting him. You all sat at the table together. “I gave y/n my old cassette player today,” your mom tells.
“Oh really? That thing still works?” your dad asked surprised.
“Just like it used to,” your mom says.
“Except for the crack across the front,” you said.
“I told you I don’t remember it having a crack. It’s a mystery how it got there,” she states.
“Guess we’ll never know,” your dad shrugged. You all continued to eat, having the occasional side conversation. After dinner you did the dishes then headed to your room. You sat down on your bed. Your eyes fell over to your mom’s old cassette player. You reached over to your dresser and grabbed it, unwrapping the headphones around it. You put one headphone in each ear and hit play on the cassette. Music filled your ears and you rested against your headboard becoming fully immersed in the music. A couple songs played then you came across a song that you really liked. You wanted to listen to it again so you hit the rewind button, but nothing happened. You hit it again and once more nothing happened. You tried again only to be met with the same result. Growing a bit frustrated you smack the cassette player in hopes of getting it to work. You hit the rewind button another time and this time you hear the song begin to reverse. However your room began to look blurry. Like when you pass by something really fast. Then suddenly it all stopped and you were standing in a park? There were some kids running around playing on some playground equipment. Parents sitting on benches. A couple teenage boys were kicking a ball around out in the open grass. You walked around the park stopping under the shade of a tree, trying to gather your senses. Did you fall asleep while you were listening to the cassette? That’s when you notice that the cassette is in your hand and headphones are still in your ears. Much to your surprise the cassette player had been fixed. There was no longer a crack running across it. How was that possible? Was this all just a dream? Right then a ball lands by your feet.
“Sorry, could you kick it back please?” you hear. You looked up to see one of the teenage boys. You looked back down at the ball then back at the boy. You gave the ball a swift kick sending it back over. “Thanks!” the boy shouted. You nodded in response. Quickly you went back to trying to figure out what was going on. This didn’t really feel like it was a dream, but what else could it be? You look around at your surroundings again. This time you notice that all the clothes people are wearing look like they're from the 90s. Certainly this was all a really weird dream. You began to leave the park not really knowing where you were going. Just trying to find some answers. Hopefully some confirmation that this was all indeed one weird dream. As you were walking you happened to come across a discarded newspaper. You pick it up and flip it around. Your eyes widened as they saw the date: June 3, 1990. You couldn’t really be back in the 90s could you? No, that would be crazy and impossible. There was absolutely no way. Your heart began to pound in fear. If you were really back in the 1990, what were you supposed to do? How did you get here? More importantly, how were you going to get home? You started to rack your brain. That’s when it hit you, the cassette player. You were trying to get the rewind button to work when you were suddenly transported here. You quickly brought up the cassette player. If rewind brought you back to the past then fast forward should send you to the future as in back home. You couldn't hit the play and fast forward button soon enough. However much to your dismay it didn’t work. Well technically it did work. The song you were listening to began to speed up and fast forward, but you didn’t go anywhere. You weren’t back in your room. You were still standing about a block away from the park. You felt like crying, sinking down into the concrete pavement.
“Oh hey it’s you again,” you heard a familiar voice. You look up to see the teenage boy from the park again.
“Hey,” you replied.
“Why are you just sitting here?” he asked. Oh you know just having a crisis. No big deal.
“Just…thinking.” is the word you decide to go with.
“Shouldn’t you be headed home? It will be dark soon.” You didn’t even notice the setting sun.
“Oh um…” If you could you would and really wish that you could.
“Are you new around here? I don’t think I’ve seen you before?” he questioned.
“Yeah I just got here,” you tell him. The boy has no clue how literal your statement is.
“Are you lost then? I can walk you home if you want? Just tell me your address,” he offered.
“No, that’s ok.” I don’t have a home to go to.
“Did you run away from home?” he gasped.
“What? No! I didn't, it's not like-” you sighed. “You wouldn’t believe me even if I told you,” you say.
“Try me?” he challenged.
“Fine. I time traveled from the future,” you told him seriously. The boy looked at you for a few seconds before bursting out into laughter.
“Oh, that’s a good one. Seriously, did you get in a fight with your parents or something?” He takes a seat beside you on the pavement.
“Told you wouldn’t believe me,” you said. “Just go home, don’t worry about me.” Sensing your upsetness he decides to give you the upper hand.
“Ok, let’s say I believe you. How did you get here and from where,when?” he questions.
“I’m from 2024. My mom’s old cassette player somehow brought me back in time. I know that sounds crazy because it is, but it’s true,” you explained.
“This cassette player?” He points to the cassette player in your hand.
“Yeah.” You held it up a bit.
“Can I see it?” He held his hands out.
“Knock yourself out.” You handed the player over to him. At first he only glances over it, yet he begins to squint at the clear plastic lid of the cassette player. He proceeded to hit the open button on the lid. “What are you-”
“1993.” you hear him murmur.
“What?” you asked.
“1993,” he repeated.
“What about it?”
“It’s 1990,” he reminded you. That’s when it clicked.
“It’s 1990 and this cassette is from 1993!” you said excitedly. “You believe me now right?” you questioned hopefully.
“Well it’s not, what did you say 2024?” You nodded. “But it is evidence that you are from the future, so…yeah I believe you,” he tells you.
“Oh thank you!” you tell him.
“So what are you gonna do?” he questioned handing you the cassette player back. Your excitement faded away as quickly as it came.
“I don’t know. I just wanna go home,” you answered. The boy looks at you sympathetically. He has no idea how you must feel right now, but it’s clear that you're very stressed about your situation.
“How about you come stay with me. I could help you figure out how to get home,” he suggested.
“Thanks, but would your parents be ok with you bringing some random girl home?” you ask.
“I’ll tell them that you’re a friend who needs a place to stay for a while,” he tells you.
“What if they ask about my parents? I mean they…haven’t even met yet. They’re both teenagers right now.” The gravity of your situation hits you even more.
“We can figure that out later. Sitting on a sidewalk isn’t going to solve anything though, so will you come?” he questioned. You thought for a moment. It’s not like you had a better option.
“You’re sure it’s ok for me to stay with you?” you double checked.
“Absolutely we have a guest room that you can stay in,” he tells you.
“Ok thanks uh… you’re?” Something hits you while you’re looking at the guy, whom you didn’t know the name of. He looked just like the guy from the yearbook photo with your mom. “Something with a G” you mouthed recalling your mom’s words.
“Oh that’s right we kinda skipped over introductions. I’m Gunil,” he introduced himself, sticking out his hand.
“Gunil, with a G,” you didn’t mean to say it outloud.
“Yep with a G. I don’t think it would quite work with a J,” he joked lightheartedly.
“I’m y/n,” you introduced yourself and finally shook his outstretched hand. That had been waiting an awkwardly long time.
“Let’s go y/n.” He stands up from the pavement, dusting off his pants. Then he sticks out his hand to help you up. You take his hand standing up. You still had no clue how you were going to get home, but at least you had someone who was willing to help.
The walk to Gunil’s house didn’t take too long. He lived relatively close to the park.
“This is it,” Gunil announced when you reached the bottom of his driveway. You felt your nerves begin to bubble up again.
“Are you sure this is ok? I can figure something else out,” you say feeling uneasy.
“Like what? Sleeping on a park bench? I assure you it's fine. Now come on.” Gunil starts to walk up his driveway. You follow behind him, nervously fiddling with your hands. “Mom I’m back and-”
“You have a guest,” his mom finished his sentence. After seeing you standing behind him in the doorway.
“This is my friend y/n and they need a place to stay for a bit,” Gunil said sheepishly.
“Oh, of course you friends are always welcome here, you know that,” his mom smiled.
“Thank you,” you thanked her.
“Sure thing sweetie, but Gunil, is there any reason why we haven’t met her before?” his mom asks.
“Have you been hiding her from us?” His dad now joined the conversation with a teasing tone.
“What? No I haven’t it-” Gunil began to sputter, feeling flustered by his dad’s teasing.
“It’s because I only moved here recently,” you saved.
“Oh I see. I hope you like it here, but if you’re going to stay with us why don’t you have a bag? Certainly you need more than just a cassette player.” Gunil’s mom looked around for your belongings.
“I wanted to get permission first. I can go pack my stuff tomorrow,” you told her. You felt your heart pounding.
“That’s right. I tried to tell her that you would understand, but she didn’t want to intrude,” Gunil backed you up.
“You’re just a sweet little thing aren’t you? Come on, dinner is ready. I’m sure you both are hungry.” She guides both you and Gunil to the kitchen table. You felt awkward as you sat next to Gunil at the table.
“So y/n where did you move from?” Gunil’s dad questioned you, trying to create some small talk.
You swear you could feel Gunil tense up beside you.
“Michigan.” Why was that the first place that popped into your head?
“Did you like it there?” he followed up.
“The lakes were really pretty,” you said the one thing you knew about Michigan.
“Oh yes! I’ve seen pictures of Lake Michigan I would love to see it in person one day,” Gunil’s mom chimed in.
“Dinner is really good Mrs. Goo. Thank you,” you state, trying to change the topic.
“I’m already letting you stay here. There is no need to butter me up.”
“I’m not,” you pronounced, shaking your head.
“I like her,” Gunil’s mom says and shoots Gunil a look. To which Gunil quickly shakes his head at his mother. A silent plea to ask her to stop. His mother laughs lightly at him. Thankfully you aren’t asked anymore questions throughout the rest of dinner.
After dinner Gunil showed you the guest room. His mom came into the room holding some pajamas.
“They might not fit perfectly, but they should be ok for the night.” She smiled at you as she handed them over.
“Oh, thank you. You didn’t have to,” you said, taking them from her.
“Don’t be silly. You’re our guest. You should be comfortable,” she insisted.
“Well thanks again,” you say. Gunil’s mom then steps out of the room, leaving just you and Gunil.
“My room is right next door”– Gunil pointed towards his room– “And the bathroom is right across the hall. Let me know if you need anything,” he told you.
“Mmh, thank you” you nod your head.
“No problem.” Gunil turned around and left the room. You looked at the cassette player sitting on the bed. You walked over to the bed, setting down the pajamas that were in your hand to pick up the cassette player.
“Can’t you just take me home?” you said to the old or you guess it’s not so old right now cassette player. “Please,” you begged, placing a headphone in your ear. You placed in the other one and hit play. Music filled your ears. You pressed the fast forward button, the song played faster. You sighed. Your finger now hovers over the rewind button. What if you hit it and it sends you even farther back in the past? However, on the other hand, what if it sent you home? You took a breath, closed your eyes and hit the rewind button. The song began to rewind. You carefully popped one eye open. Nothing happened, you were still in the guest room. Feeling defeated, you pulled the headphones out of your ears. You changed into the pajamas Gunil’s mom had given you. She was right they weren’t a perfect fit, but they would do.
Later in the night Gunil’s mom stopped by your door to wish you goodnight. Before you could respond to her you hear Gunil yelling you a goodnight as well through the thin walls. You yelled him a goodnight back which made his mom laugh. Then you wished her a goodnight as well. You made yourself comfortable underneath the covers. Closing your eyes and waiting for sleep to take you away and hopefully back home somehow.
Upon waking up in the morning it takes you a second to remember where you are. Once you see your mom’s cassette player sitting on the edge of the bed you remember. You were still stuck in 1990. You sat up on the bed not quite knowing what to do. It would be awkward if you just walked out of the room as you are right now right? What if Gunil wasn’t up yet then you would be stuck with his parents. That didn’t seem all that ideal. Your bladder apparently had an answer for you though. The bathroom was right across the hall from you. You would just have to do a quick in and out. You opted for getting dressed first, changing back into the clothes you were wearing yesterday. You carefully opened the door as silently as possible, peeking your head out. When you didn’t see anyone you quickly beelined into the bathroom. You were ready to beeline back to your room however right when you opened the bathroom door someone called you.
“Oh y/n you’re up. How’d you sleep?” Gunil’s mom asked you. You awkwardly stepped into the hallway.
“I slept good, thanks. You?” you returned.
“I slept good too. Gunil is still sleeping, but I can wake him up if you want,” she offered.
“That’s ok he can keep sleeping,” you told her. You kinda regretted it though. Maybe it would be better to just wake him up.
“You can come out to the living room. I’m almost done making breakfast,” she tells you. You awkwardly followed her out to the living room. Where you now see Gunil’s dad sitting in the chair. He bid you a good morning as you did to him in return. You tentatively took a seat on the couch.
“Y/n you never told us why you’re staying with us,” he dad said. You feel your heartbeat pick up as you took a moment to think.
“...Oh my parents are out of town and I don’t feel comfortable staying in our new house by myself yet,” you explained.
“What’d they go out of town for?” He was probably just trying to make conversation, but you really wish he wasn’t.
“Work.” That sounded reasonable enough, you thought.
“What do they do for work?” It was too early for your brain to make up these fake answers.
“They work for a cassette manufacturer.” Gunil answered for you emerging from the hallway. He came and took a seat next to you on the couch. He was still wearing his pajamas and his hair was a bit messy. He looked oddly cute.
“Gunil you’re up just in time. Breakfast is ready,” his mom informed, coming into the living room.
You guys all headed to the kitchen, sitting down and eating the breakfast that Gunil’s mom had made.
“Thanks for breakfast mom. I’m gonna go change then I’ll take y/n to go pack her things,” Gunil stated. Just like that Gunil whisked away to his room. You returned to the guest room to grab the cassette player. You had barely grabbed the cassette player when Gunil appeared in the doorway.
“You ready?” he checked.
“That was fast,” you remarked, taking in his tidied up appearance. His hair was no longer messy and he swapped his pajamas for a black t-shirt and jeans.
“I didn’t want you to wait,” he told you.
“Thanks, and yeah I’m ready,” you answered him. The two of you walked out of Gunil’s house. “Gunil how are we gonna pack my things when I have no things to pack?” you questioned once you two reached the end of his driveway. Gunil reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet.
“We have some shopping to do.” He waved his wallet around.
“Gunil no,” you say, footsteps coming to a stop. Gunil lets out a sigh. His footsteps coming to a stop as well.
“Do you have a better idea? You can’t exactly wear the same clothes everyday,” he pointed out.
“I know that, but I feel bad having you spend money on me,” you explained. Gunil takes a couple steps closer to you.
“Don’t feel bad. I want to. I’ve been wanting to go shopping anyway, so this is the perfect opportunity,” he tells you.
“Still, won’t it be too much-”
“Shush, your only concern should be figuring out how to get back home. Let me take care of the rest,” he silenced you. He swings one of his arms around your shoulder prompting you to start walking again. When you try to refute again he simply shushes you more.
“Can I ask where we’re going then?” you questioned. You turned your head to look at Gunil, who still had his arm wrapped around your shoulder.
“The mall. It’ll have everything we need,” Gunil answered casually.
“I haven’t been to the mall in ages,” you say.
“Really? Are malls not that popular in the future?” Gunil asked with slightly widened eyes.
“I don’t think they're as popular as they used to be, but plenty of people still go to them,” you answered. Gunil nods at your answer. “How far is the mall?” you asked.
“About a twenty minute walk,” Gunil answered.
“Wanna listen to music?” You held up the cassette player.
“Are you sure it won’t send us to the past?” Gunil jokes. You scoffed.
“Honestly no I can’t be sure, but it should be fine,” you say.
“I’ll risk it.” Gunil reaches to take one of the headphones and puts it in his ear. You put the other one in your ear. You hit play on the cassette player, letting the music fill either of yours and Gunil’s ears. To any onlookers you and Gunil probably look like a couple. With Gunil’s arm that he is yet to remove from around your shoulders and now sharing headphones on top of it. You felt oddly comfortable though. This is probably the most relaxed you felt since you had arrived in 1990.
Upon arriving at the mall both you and Gunil remove the headphones from your ears. Gunil’s arm finally leaves your shoulders. It’s not until he removed his arm that you realized it was there the entire time. Gunil finds that his arm now feels empty that it’s not wrapped around you.
“Where to first?” you questioned as the two of you walked inside the entrance of the mall.
“I was thinking we should probably get you a bag first, then we can go get you some clothes,” he tells you.
“Sounds good,” you agreed. Gunil led you to a shop that had a collection of bags that you could choose from. You ended up picking a blue duffle bag that had teal carrying straps. Next, Gunil takes you to a clothing store. He asked you about your preferences for what types of clothes you like to wear then proceeded to help you pick out some outfits.
“How about this one?” Gunil asked, holding up a shirt in a color you specifically told him you disliked. You make a very unimpressed face at him.
“Gunil, I specifically told you I don’t like that color,” you told him.
“Why? I think it suits you. You look pretty.” He steps closer to you, holding the shirt up to your frame. You feel a warmth trying to make its way to your cheeks. You shook it off.
“Gunil, no.” You pushed the shirt away from your frame.
“Come on please. I’m buying anyway,” he pointed. He kinda had you there. He was paying for all your things, so you felt like the least you could do is get something that he liked. Even if it wasn’t something you would pick for yourself.
“Fine, but don’t keep using that against me.” You pointed a finger at him. Gunil raised his hands in a playful surrender.
“Ok, I won’t,” he said, happily tossing the shirt with the other clothes you were getting.
Three shops later you convinced Gunil that you really didn’t need anymore stuff. He seemed reluctant, but agreed with you. He insisted that you two get some food before you head back to his place though. You couldn’t deny that all the shopping didn’t work up your appetite, so you and Gunil made your way over to the food court. The two of you got food from a place that Gunil recommended. After getting your food you walked over to the seating area.
“So how are you liking the 90s mall experience?” Gunil questioned making you laugh.
“I mean, I don't think it's that different from a modern day mall, but it’s nice,” you say.
“Yo Gunil! You didn’t tell us you were coming here today. Oh who’s this?” One of, who are assuming, is Gunil’s friends asked.
“This is y/n. They’re new around here,” Gunil introduced.
“She looks kinda familiar,” one of the notes.
“I was thinking the same thing,” another one says.
“The park!” One exclaimed pointing at you. “She’s the one who kicked the ball back to us.”
“Oh, that’s right.”
“You mean they’re the one-”
“What are you guys doing here?” Gunil cut his friend off.
“We were gonna see if they have any new music at the music shop,” One answered.
“Well then don’t let us stop you guys,” Gunil motioned for them to get going.
“Wait! Wait! Wait! We haven’t introduced ourselves yet,” one says. “I’m Jooyeon,” he introduced himself.
“I’m Jiseok,” another one said.
“Seungmin.” The boy gave you a half wave.
“Jungsu,” he smiled.
“I’m Hyeongjun,” the last one says shyly.
“Nice to meet you guys,” you state.
“You like to listen to music?” Jiseok pointed to your cassette player. You nodded.
“Yeah you could say that,” you answered.
“Do you want to come to the music shop with us then?” Jiseok offered.
“Maybe some other time. We should be heading back now,” Gunil interjected, standing up.
“Oh don’t be silly Gunil. It’s not even late afternoon yet. Let me see what you listen to, the music store probably has it.” Jiseok reaches for the cassette player you had sitting on the table. Wasting no time in opening it and taking a look at the cassette before you could say anything. “You listen to them too! I-why don’t I recognize any of these songs?” Jiseok starts to look at the cassette closer.
“Oh that’s be-”
“1993!” Jiseok’s eyes widened. “H-how do you have a cassette from 1993?” Jiseok looked at you in disbelief. You looked at Gunil in a panic. He looked back at you just as panicked. “What’s with those looks? What’s going on?” Jiseok interrogated.
“Well, you see, I may or may not be from 34 years in the future,” you said. Jiseok’s face deadpans for a moment before he bursts out laughing.
“That’s a good one. I didn’t think you’d be so funny, but seriously what is this a fake or something?” He waved the cassette in his hand.
“Listen to it,” Gunil tells him.
“What?” Jiseok responded.
“Listen to it,” he gestured for Jiseok to put the cassette back in the player. Jiseok looked skeptical, but he did as he was told. His eyes widened again as he listened to the song he’s never heard before, but is unmistakably from the artist.
“How is this possible?” Jiseok asked, removing the headphones from his ears. You reach over taking the cassette player back from him.
“That’s what I want to know,” you sighed.
“Wait a second, are you actually saying that she’s from the future?” Seungmin speaks up.
“I know it’s hard to believe, but yeah,” Gunil states.
“Hard to believe? It’s completely crazy!” Seungmin declares.
“You don’t have to believe it if you don’t want to, but Gunil and I should really get going now,” you say. Gunil gathers the bags of your recently bought items and makes his way to your side.
“Hold on you can’t just leave after saying you're from the future,” Jooyeon followed after you and Gunil.
“Ok then you can follow us, but I told my mom we're gonna go pick up y/n’s things. She’ll start to worry if we’re gone for too much longer,” Gunil tells. Like a group of ducklings Gunil’s friends started to follow after you two.
“We should probably put the stuff into the duffle bag,” you tell Gunil.
“You’re right. Let’s stop for a second.” Gunil stepped aside and the two of you began to pull your recently bought items and put them into the duffle bag.
“I take it your parents don’t know that she’s from the future?” Jungsu inferred.
“No, she’s a friend, who moved here recently and is staying with us while her parents are away,” Gunil informed.
“Do you know where your parents are?” Jooyeon randomly asked. You stopped loading clothes into the duffle bag to think.
“Umm…if it’s 1990 then,” you pause to do some mental math. “My mom would be sixteen, so she’d be living with my grandparents. I know she goes to the same high school as you guys do,” you say.
“How do you know that?” Gunil asked as he finished putting the last piece of clothing into the duffle bag and zipped it up.
“I saw a picture of you in her old yearbook,” you tell him. It’s a bit ironic that you called the yearbook old considering that it hasn’t been made yet. You go to take the duffle bag from him, but he ignores you and swings it over his own shoulder.
“Oh, that’s how you knew my name started with a G,”’ Gunil commented as he began walking in the direction of his house.
“Does the name Lee Jooyeon mean anything in the future?” Jooyeon quickly followed behind you both.
“No, sorry,” you shook your head.
“What about Kwak Jiseok?” Jiseok cut in, appearing beside Jooyeon. Again you shook your head.
“How about Seungmin then? Oh Seungmin,” Jooyeon tried.
“Oh Seungmin?” you repeated a bit louder. You did recognize that name.
“Don’t tell us he’s the one who got famous?” Jiseok said. You laughed. While Seungmin let out an offended “Hey!”
“No, he’s not famous. I just know the name because my dad hated him,” you explained.
“Why would your dad hate me?” Seungmin asked with a bit of hurt in his eyes.
“I thought you didn’t believe her,” Hyeongjun commented.
“I-I don’t, not entirely, but if someone hates me,” Seungmin stuttered.
“Because you always beat him at track. My dad was the top track athlete at his school, but whenever it came to school competitions he could never beat Seungmin. He always came in second,” you explained.
“So you’re saying your dad is d/n?” he said your father’s name.
“Yeah, that’s him,” you confirmed.
“No way,” Seungmin states in denial.
“What? You don’t see the resemblance?” You turned to face Seungmin. Seungmin leaned closer to inspect your face. You slightly turned your head from side to side to give him a better look at your features. Suddenly Gunil reaches for your wrist pulling you up beside him.
“It doesn’t matter if he believes you or not. Let’s hurry up and get home,” he quickly said. You can hear the rest of the boys joking about something behind you.
“Mom, we're back!” Gunil shouted upon entering his house.
“That took a bit longer than I- oh the boys are with you,” his mom says.
“Yeah we ran into them along the way,” Gunil tells.
“Well make yourselves at home,” his mom smiles and steps aside. You all make your way to Gunil’s room, making a pit stop by the guest room you were staying in to set your bag down.
Jooyeon, Jiseok and Hyeongjun made themselves comfortable on Gunil’s bed. Jungsu sat at a desk. Seungmin sat on top of the desk. You stood there awkwardly until Gunil grabbed some pillows from his bed for you two to sit on.
“So if you’re from the future how did you get here?” Jooyeon was quick to ask you more questions.
“This,” you held up your mom’s cassette player.
“And you let me listen to it!” Jiseok yelled.
“It happened when she hit the rewind button, not just from listening to it,” Gunil defended.
“Still,” Jiseok grumbled.
“Since you’re still here I’m guessing pressing fast forward doesn’t send you back?” Jungsu presumed.
“Nope,” you shook your head.
“How are you gonna get home then?” Jooyeon questioned.
“That’s what I want to know,” you sighed.
“We’ll figure it out,” Gunil told you comfortingly.
“Maybe it’s cause the cassette is from 1993,” Jiseok spoke.
“Huh?” you questioned, not understanding what he meant.
“The cassette is from 1993, so it technically doesn’t exist here yet. Maybe that’s why you can’t go home,” he elaborated.
“Are you saying I’m gonna be stuck here for three years!” you panicked.
“No,no, no. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” Gunil tried to console you, placing his hands on your knee. Meanwhile Jungsu was scolding Jiseok for what he said.
“What he said kinda makes sense though,” you stated worriedly.
“No, what the others said is right. I’m an idiot, I don't know what I’m talking about.” Jiseok tried to fix the panic he caused you. Seungmin still doesn’t really believe that you’re from the future, but seeing the way you’re freaking out right now makes him want to. He definitely feels bad for you, cause even if you weren’t from the future your situation right now surely isn’t ideal. Gunil is still trying to ease your nerves.
“How about we go to the arcade?” Hyeongjun suggests amidst the bit of chaos happening.
“I’m not sure now is really-” Jungsu started.
“I’ve never been to an arcade,” you stated.
“You’ve never been to the arcade? Do they not exist in the future?” Jooyeon asked, astonished.
“They exist. I’ve just never been,” you informed.
“Oh, well we totally have to go then,” he said, hopping up from Gunil’s bed.
“Right now?” Seungmin questioned.
“Well we don’t know when y/n will return home, so if we want to do something with them we should do it now,” Jooyeon reasoned.
With that you found yourselves walking to the nearest arcade. Jooyeon and Jiseok practically dragged you because they were excited to play games with you. While Gunil was trying to tell them to slow down, not wanting you to accidentally get hurt.
The arcade was really fun. It managed to take your mind off your current situation for a while. Jooyeon and Jiseok were excited to teach you how to play the games and maybe tease you when you weren’t so good at one. Hyeongjun was much more chill and helpful when it came to games you had no idea how to play. Gunil stared at you admiringly. He felt like he could relax a bit seeing you genuinely smile and have fun.
“Are you gonna confess to them before they go back home or are you gonna hide your feelings forever?” Jungsu asked, resting an arm on Gunil’s shoulder.
“They want to go home. I shouldn’t complicate their situation any more,” Gunil said.
“You’re allowed to be a little selfish you know?” Jungsu voices.
“Even if I did confess it’s not like we can exactly be together. Plus I’m sure being in a relationship is the last thing on her mind,” Gunil notes.
“It’s a given that you can’t stay together, but do you really want to give up on being with her, even if it’s for a short amount of time?” Jungsu put to question.
Gunil saw you at the park on the day you first arrived. He thought that you were cute, so he may have accidentally sent the ball he and his friends were playing with your way. He was looking for an excuse to talk to you. When he saw you sitting on the sidewalk on his way home he couldn’t up the god given opportunity to talk to you again. Upon finding out about your situation it was clear that you were very stressed, but Gunil couldn’t help but feel a teensy bit glad. He was able to spend more time with you because of it. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t want that. Jungsu told him that he was allowed to be selfish, but he was already being selfish. He didn’t simply offer to help you out of the goodness of his heart. No, it was because he liked you. He was already being selfish with his actions, so he didn’t know how far he should go with selfishness. Would it be too selfish to tell you how he felt about you?
Gunil is interrupted from his internal struggle when he sees you excitedly jumping up and down at a claw machine, reaching down to claim your stuffed prize.
“Gunil look!” You hurried over to him to show him the turtle you just won. Gunil falls for you even more, finding you adorable.
“It’s cute,” he smiles at you. He means both you and the turtle.
After your time spent at the arcade you part ways with Gunil’s friends. Gunil enjoys it being just you and him again. He watches you as you walk looking down at the stuffed turtle you just won.
“What should I name it?” you asked Gunil for his opinion.
“Umm?” Gunil thought.
A loud honk interrupts his thinking. He looks at the sound of the honk seeing a truck fastly approaching you two as you're midway across the crosswalk. Gunil quickly pulls you out of the way of the vehicle. The truck goes wheezing past you two.
CRASH! SNAP! CRACK! Panic rages through your body as you stare at your mom’s old cassette player that is now in pieces. It was haphazardly shoved in your pocket and the force of Gunil suddenly pulling you must’ve somehow made it pop out of your pocket.
“Are you ok?” Gunil looks you over still not noticing what had just happened.
“I’m. I’m. Uh, the- how am I?” Your non-coherently sputter out, pointing at the cassette player.
“What?” Gunil flows the direction of your finger and sees the broken cassette player. Gunil quickly goes to gather the broken pieces.
“It’s gonna be ok?” He tried to calm you.
“How is it going to be ok? That- that’s my only way home and it’s-” you heaved.
“Look at me,” Gunil says calmly. Your eyes hesitantly tear away from the broken pieces in his hands to look at his face.
“It’ll be ok. There’s a repair shop we can take it too. They’ll fix it,” he tells you.
“But what if-”
“They’ll fix it,” he told you firmly.
“Ok,” you let out a shaky breath.
Gunil and you arrived at the repair shop. You’re shaking with nerves. Fearing for the worst. That your mom’s cassette player will be unfixable and you’ll be stuck here forever.
“I think it would be easier to buy a new cassette player,” the worker of the shop informed. It made your heart sink to your stomach.
“It was a gift from her mom. You can surely fix it right?” Gunil told the worker in a passive aggressive voice.
“Look man-” Gunil leaned whisper something to the guy. “Ok, I’ll see what I can do. Come back in a week to pick it up,” the worker says.
“Great, thank you,” Gunil said to the worker.
“Come on.” Gunil wrapped his arm around your shoulder leading you out of the store.
“Can he really fix it?” you asked, doubtfully.
“He’ll fix it,” Gunil said confidently. This was going to be the longest week of your life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It indeedly was the longest week of your life. Gunil tried his very best to keep you distracted. He wanted to show you the joy of living in the 90s. He took out around town, showing you his favorite spots. He invited you out with his friends (who have started to grow close with you.) You could never completely shake the anxious feeling in your stomach though. Yes, you were having fun thanks to Gunil and his friends, but having fun didn’t make your problem go away. You were simply making the best out of a bad situation.
Currently you are sitting on the couch with Gunil, a movie playing on the t.v. It’s the night before you go pick up the cassette player. You bounced your leg anxiously as the fear of the worst began to set back in.
“Are you not interested in this movie?” Gunil asked you. It was an indirect way of asking if you were ok.
“I don’t think I’ll be interested in any movie. I’m too nervous. What if it couldn’t be fixed?” you told Gunil your worries.
“I told you it’ll be fixed.” Gunil scooted closer to you on the couch.
“You can’t know that for sure. What if I’m stuck here forever?” your voice raised slightly. Not because you were mad at Gunil, but because you were terrified of never being able to get home.
“Then I’ll take care of you forever,” Gunil answered. He tenderly took your hands in his.
“You can’t do that Gunil. You’ve already done so much, too much. I can’t keep burdening you, and your parents,” you argued.
“You aren't a burden y/n. I took you here because I want to look after you,” he tells you. His thumbs run over your knuckles.
“Realistically, how long can you do that? Your parents are bound to ask where my parents really are soon. What are we supposed to tell them? That I actually ran away from home? That my parents abandoned me? That I’m from the future?” you ranted.
“I get that you're really scared and stressed right now, but can you please just trust me. Let me take care of you. We don’t know if the cassette player is fixed or not right now. Let’s at least see how it goes tomorrow,” Gunil proposed.
“What if it couldn’t be fixed?” you asked again.
“Then you can have a mental breakdown, but I’ll take care of you during that too.” His thumbs stop rumbling your knuckles, but his grip remains grounding on your hands.
“Why do you care so much?” you questioned.
“Because I like you,” Gunil confessed. Your hands go slack in his due to shock.
“What do you mean?” you asked not being able to understand.
“I like you,” he repeated. “That ball didn’t accidentally land at your feet when we were in the park. I purposely kicked it over to you cause I wanted your attention. I thought you were pretty and wanted to talk to you,” he revealed.
“Then all this time you’ve…” You trailed off, not knowing exactly what you wanted to say.
“I know that you don’t like the situation you're in right now and that romance is one of the last things that would be on your mind. Which is why I wasn’t sure if I should tell you how I feel, but I’ve really enjoyed being with you this entire time. It’s selfish cause I know how stressed and scared you are. I really want to be by your side as long as I can,” he continued on.
“I feel most relaxed when you’re with me,” you tell him truthfully. “You’re right romance isn’t exactly on my to do list, but I like being with you too,” you say. A smile tugged at your lips. You moved your previously slack hand to hold Gunil’s hand back. Your words weren’t exactly a confession, but for Gunil they were more than enough. You liked being with him. That alone made him feel over the moon.
Gunil moved to lean against the back of the couch, pulling you along with him. His hands never left yours. Both of your eyes wandered back to the t.v that neither of you were paying attention to. Gunil being too wrapped up in the feeling of you leaning against him and the fact that you liked being beside him, just as he liked being beside you. Your nerves about finding out if your way home was fixed or not definitely keep you distracted. However you also found that the way Gunil was absentmindedly playing with your fingers and the calming warmth that radiated off of him proved to be an equally good distraction.
Sometime during you and Gunil basking in each other's presence the two of you drifted off to sleep. Your head falling on Gunil’s shoulder and his head resting on yours. Gunil’s hands placed protectively over yours from where they fell in the small space between your two bodies on the couch.
“He really tired to convince us that she’s just a friend,” Gunil’s mom said when her and Gunil’s dad returned home from their date night to find you and Gunil cuddled up on the couch.
“The hearts in his eyes were never fooling us dear,” his dad stated.
“They look so cute. I need to take a photo.” Gunil’s mom quickly and excitedly rushed off to grab the camera. She snapped a couple photos of you and Gunil. Then Gunil’s dad ushered her away from your sleeping forms, not wanting to wake the two of you and ruin the moment.
Your eyes cracked open in the morning, taking in the lighter room. You notice that the t.v has been turned off. Next you realize that your head is resting on Gunil’s shoulder and you can feel the weight of his head resting against yours. You slowly tried to remove your hands out from under Gunil’s. When they were almost free Gunil’s hands suddenly grasped onto your hands, bringing them back to his hold.
“Gunil,” you softly called out his name. You carefully lifted your head up from Gunil’s shoulder, which resulted in Gunil’s head coming down onto your shoulder.
“Gunil,” you tried again. “Gunil.” You shook your shoulder. Gunil started to stir awake.
“Mmh,” he mumbled, opening his eyes.
“Good morning,” you told him. Gunil now realizes the position that the two of you are in and sits up straight. Then he realizes that his hands are holding yours. A shade of pink dusts his cheeks.
“Good morning,” he said. “Do you want some breakfast? We have cereal or I could make some eggs,” he offered standing up from the couch.
“Cereal’s fine,” you say, standing up from the couch too. Gunil and you walk over to the kitchen and make your bowls of cereal. He pulls your chair out for you before you sit down.
“Thanks,” you smiled. He nodded then pulled out the chair beside you to sit down in.
“Look who’s up,” Gunil’s mom said as she entered the kitchen. You and Gunil each wished her a good morning. “Did you two sleep well?” she asked. You and Gunil share a glance. You both know she must’ve seen you two on the couch.
“Yeah, I slept well,” Gunil answered.
“Me too,” you followed. Your answer makes Gunil smile and Gunil’s mom certainly doesn’t miss it.
“That’s good. I know sleeping on the couch isn’t always the most comfortable, but you two looked so cute I didn’t want to disturb you guys,” she says. Both yours and Gunil’s faces flared red at her comment.
“Should we go pick up your cassette player now?” Gunil asked, changing the topic.
“Yes, we should,” you eagerly nodded. The two of you hurried up eating your cereal then rushed out of the kitchen. Gunil’s mom could only smile, finding you two adorable.
Once you and Gunil got ready you headed to the repair shop. The closer you got to the shop the more nervous you got. Gunil easily noticed how nervous you were and slipped his hand into your, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
“I got you,” he tells you.
The two of you arrive at the shop. You always thought the saying of feeling your heart in your throat was weird, but now you understand it cause it really did feel like your heart was in your throat.
“We’re here to pick up the cassette player,” Gunil told the worker.
“I know, I remember you,” the worker said, giving Gunil a look. The worker reaches under the counter and pulls out your mom’s cassette player. It looks like it’s fixed…accept for a crack that runs across the lid. “I couldn’t get rid of this crack, but it works,” the worker said.
“The crack doesn't matter. Thank you for fixing it,” you told the worker, taking the cassette player in your hands.
“Just doing my job,” he replied. Then he turns to Gunil, so that he can pay.
“Sorry about the crack,” Gunil says as you two exited the store.
“It’s ok. It answered a question actually,” you disclosed.
“What question?” Gunil asked.
“Back in the future, my mom and I were going through boxes of her old things. This cassette player was in one of the boxes and it had this exact crack, but my mom had no clue how it got there. She never remembered it having a crack,” you told.
“Well mystery solved then,” Gunil said.
“Yeah, mystery solved.” You unwrapped the headphones from around the cassette player and handed one to Gunil. He gladly took it and placed it in his ear. He took this time to wrap his arm around your shoulder, just like the first time you two listened to the cassette together.
Soon enough you arrived back at Gunil’s house to discover it empty, meaning his parents went out somewhere. The pair of you made yourselves comfortable on the couch.
“So what exactly happened when the cassette player brought you to the past,” Gunil questioned.
“I told you I hit rewind,” you chuckled.
“I know that, but did you hit any other button first or?” he clarified. You took a moment to think back.
“I smacked it,” you remembered. “When I first hit rewind it didn’t work, so I smacked it thinking it might get it to work,” you explained.
“Have you tried smacking it again?” he asked.
“No, but it just got fixed. I’m scared to smack it now,” you said.
“I’m not saying to smack it with all you got, but it’s worth a shot,” he stated. You lift your hand to give the cassette player a smack then paused.
“Are you that scared? Should I do it for you?” he offered.
“It’s not that.” You lowered your hand.
“Then what is it?”
“It’s funny. Most of the time I’ve been here, I’ve been wanting to go home, but right now it feels hard to leave,” you say.
“Well you know I’m not going to tell you to go,” Gunil said lightheartedly. “There’s no guarantee that smacking it would work either,” he notes.
“I know, but if it does. I think I’d rather try it later.”
“You wanna go get ice cream?” he suggested.
“Sounds good,” you agree.
You spent the rest of the day out with Gunil. Having your ice cream then going to walk around the mall. After the mall you walk aimlessly around the town.
“Well look who it is?” A voice spoke behind you two. Both you and Gunil turn your heads to see Jooyeon standing there with Jiseok. The pair of them had teasing smiles on their faces.
“Yeah look who it is,” Gunil said.
“It’s fixed,” Jiseok pointed to the cassette player in your hands.
“Yep.”
“Any ideas on how to get home?” he asked.
“We have an idea, but we don't know if it will work,” you said.
“How come you haven’t tried it yet?” Jooyeon questioned.
“Do you want me to leave without saying goodbye?” you said, quasi offended.
“Of course not. I’d be very sad if you just disappeared. You just always seem like you’re eager to go home, so I’d thought you’d jump at any chance,” he responded.
“I thought so too, but it’s harder to leave than I expected,” you say looking at Gunil.
“Aww have you grown attached to us! We’ve gotten attached to you too,” Jooyeon and Jiseok pull you into a sandwiched hug.
“You seriously can’t leave without saying goodbye ok?” Jiseok states pulling away.
“But there’s no way to tell when I’ll be leaving,” you brought up.
“We should have a goodbye party!” Jooyeon shouted. Jiseok immediately agreed.
“If we have a goodbye party and I don’t go home wouldn’t it be awkward?” You asked.
“Maybe a little, but with a goodbye party we won’t have to worry about not getting to say goodbye,” Jooyeon answered.
That’s how you found yourself at the very park, where you first arrived in the 90s. Surrounded by Gunil's friends, who are also your friends now too. Pizza boxes litter the ground along with soda cans.
“I still think this party is kinda stupid,” Seungmin said while taking a sip of soda.
“So if y/n just disappears and goes back home one day you’re not going to miss them and wish that you could’ve said goodbye?” Jungsu interrogated.
“Whether you believe she is from the future or not. She is still leaving one day no matter what,” Hyeongjun added.
“But we don’t know when that is, so having this party when we could still see them tomorrow seems kinda silly,” Seungmin defended.
“Exactly. We don’t know when. She could leave tonight, tomorrow, next week. This way we don’t miss saying goodbye,” Jooyeon said.
Goodbye parties typically are kinda sad, but you didn’t think this one would feel as sad as it did. You hadn’t really been in the 1990 all that long, yet you’ve made great friends, met a guy who makes your heart flutter and makes it hard to say goodbye. The boys taking the turns saying goodbye to you at the end of the party had all your eyes turning glossy.
“If I find you in the future then you’ll have to believe me then right?” you asked Seungmin.
“Yes, if you find me in the future. Looking as you do now. I’ll have no choice, but to believe you.”
“Then goodbye till then,” you told him.
“Goodbye y/n.” The party ended with a group hug and maybe some spilled tears that no one would admit too.
“Should I try smacking it?” you asked Gunil. The two of you were currently sitting on his bed.
“Do you want to?” he followed.
“With having the goodbye party I feel like I should at least try,” you say.
“Then let me say goodbye before you do,” he said.
“Hold on, let me go grab something,” you excused yourself. You went to your room and grabbed the stuffed turtle you won. You returned to Gunil’s room and handed him the turtle when you sat back down beside him.
“You’re giving this to me?” he checked.
“Mhm,” you hummed. “I always planned on giving it to you. I doubt it would come back to the future with me anyway, but I won it with giving it to you in mind,” you tell him.
“Thank you.” Gunil hugs the stuffed turtle to his chest.
“It still doesn’t have a name,” you pointed out.
“I’ll think of one for it.” He already knew what he was gonna name it, but he felt too shy to name it after you right in front of you. He sets the turtle down on his pillow and turns to pull you into a hug.
“I’m really going to miss you,” he says, resting his head over your shoulder.
“I’m gonna miss you too,” you hug him back. “I like you too,” you confessed. Gunil pulled back enough to look at you.
“I’m a little late to say it back, but I wanted to say it before I leave,” you give him a sentimental smile. Gunil smiles at you back and cups your face in his hands. He leans forward, pressing a warm, loving, gentle kiss on your forehead. You close your eyes basking in the feeling of his lips on you. Your hands come up to hold his wrist lovingly. The two of you stay like that for a few moments. Saying nothing, but also somehow saying everything.
“Give it a try,” Gunil says, pulling away.
“Ok.” You put each side of the headphones in your ears. You hit play then gave the cassette player a smack. You took a breath and hit rewind. Nothing happened. Literally nothing happened. The rewind button didn’t work, the song kept playing like normal.
“It doesn’t work,” you say.
“We’ll just have to think of something else then,” Gunil said.
“No, like the rewind button doesn’t work. Did smacking it break it? This is what I worried about,” you complained.
“Hey it’s ok. Let me see.” Gunil takes the cassette player from your hands. This time he gives it a smack. “Try it now.” He handed it back over to you. You give Gunil one last look before hitting the button. The song began to play backwards and the room started to blur.
You were back in your bedroom. Only the cassette player wasn’t with you.
“Y/n can you come help me with these boxes?” your mom asked you. Help her with boxes? Like on the day you time traveled. You checked the date, surely enough it was the morning of the day you left.
“And why exactly have you decided to take a trip down memory lane?” you asked your mom. Letting out a heave as you set the heavy box down on your mom’s bed.
“I watched Jetsons: The Movie yesterday and it got me feeling nostalgic,” your mom answers you, taking off the lid to the box. “My old cassette player!” your mom called out excitedly as she pulled the old device from the box. “I used to use this all the time,” she tells you. There it is the very cassette player that took you back in time.
“So much that it cracked,” you joked. Despite knowing very well where the crack came from.
“I actually don’t remember it having a crack,” your mom said, scratching her head.
“Must’ve gotten dropped at some point,” you say, recalling the memory of Gunil pulling out of the way of the speeding vehicle.
“I wonder if it still works. I’ll buy batteries for it when I go out later,” she says. You looked into the box and pulled out the year book, flipping to the page with Gunil and your mom. A sad smile appeared on your face. Your finger slowly rubbed over Gunil’s image.
“He wasn’t my boyfriend if that’s what you’re wondering,” your mom pulls you from your gaze.
“Honey, are you ok? Your eyes are red,” your mom looked at you concerned.
“I think some dust got in my eyes when we pulled the boxes down,” you lied.
“Let me go get you a wet rag,” your mom hurried away. You missed Gunil. You missed him so much it hurt. You want to cry looking at his picture. Now you know he mistook your mom for you that day. That he was probably all excited to see you again, pulling you into a super tight back hug. Only to find out that it wasn’t you. “Here you go. Wipe your eyes,” your mom gives you the rag. You couldn’t hold the couple of stray tears that escaped as you held the rag to your eyes.
Later in the day when your mom got back with the batteries you listened to the cassette with her.
“Can I keep this for a while?” you asked her.
“Of course you can! Ooh I’ll go grab you my other cassettes to listen to.” She went to grab the other cassette. You didn’t plan on listening to them though. You were only going to listen to this one and remember your time spent in the 90s with Gunil. Still when she returned you brought the cassettes up to your room and sat them down.
“We found my old cassette player this morning,” your mom tells your dad as you all eat dinner.
“Oh really? Does it still work?” he asked.
“Yeah, but it has this crack across the lid that I don’t remember it having,” she answered.
“Guess it's a mystery,” your dad said.
“No, I dropped it when I time traveled back to 1990,” you say.
“That’s a good one,” your dad chuckled.
After dinner you headed up to your room. You laid down in your bed and listened to the cassette player. Tears cascaded down your face.
For the next week you cooped up in your room. Feeling what you would call a heartbreak. The worst part was that you couldn’t talk about it. All you could do was listen to the cassette as you thought about your memories with Gunil and his friends. You wished that you could see Gunil one last time. You spent the bulk of your time there worrying about how to get back home, but now ironically enough all you want to do is go back, just one more time.
“Please, please, just one more time,” you pleaded.
“Y/n!” You opened your eyes and there Gunil is standing right in front of you.
“Gunil!” You throw yourself into his arms. He crushes you in the tightest hug. “Wait, how is this possible? I didn’t hit rewind or anything.”
“I need to do something I really regretted not doing before you left,” he said.
“What’s that?” you questioned.
Gunil cups your face just like he did when he was saying goodbye. Expect this time instead of leaning in and kissing your forehead, his lips land on yours. Your hands travel to his shoulders and one of his hands moves to cradle the back of your head.
“That.” He pulls away to rest his forehead against yours. “I really regretted not doing that.”
Your eyes open and again and your back in your bedroom. You don’t know if what just happened was a dream or not. You decide to go with not because you wanted it to be real.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Honey, can you run to the store real quick? I realized I forgot something for dinner tonight,” your mom asked your dad.
“Does dinner really need it?” your dad asked.
“Yes, why are you too lazy to go?”
“No, Seungmin grocery shops today I don’t want to run into him,”
“Are you serious? After all these years do you still hate Seungmin that much?” Your mom asked in disbelief.
“It’s not my fault I ran into him at the grocery store. He just had to bag his belongings quicker than me. He's a stupidly fast asshole,” your dad complained.
“I’ll go mom,” you speak up. You needed to see Seungmin.
“Thank you,” your mom told you.
You arrived at the store, found what your mom needed for dinner and then walked around looking for Seungmin, hoping that he was there.
“Oh Seungmin!” you called out when you saw a guy that looked like he could be an older version of Seungmin. The dude turns around at you looking perplexed at who could be calling his name.
“Y/n?” he said.
“You believe me now right?”
“How is this possible?”
“You know how it is. Time travel,” you sassed.
“You look exactly the same,” he says. He’s still partly in denial.
“Yeah, it’s been 34 years for you, but It’s only been a week for me. Are you and Gunil still friends?” you asked, changing your tone.
“We’re friends for life,” Seungmin stated “Give me your phone,” he told you.
“Why?” you asked, still pulling out your phone nonetheless. Seungmin took it from you and began to type something in.
“You should give him a call. He’s been waiting,” Seungmin said. You stare down at the number typed on your phone screen.
You got into the car and sat down. You stared at the number once more before hitting the call button. You feel butterflies dancing in your stomach.
“Hello?” he picked up.
“Hey Gunil,” you say.
“Y/n?” he asked. He looked over to the stuffed turtle that he still keeps on his bed even after all these years.
a/n: i apologise in advance because apparently i still have the humour of a twelve year old so read at your own risk 😼 this one's for @sorryimananti-romantic and her (now our) constipated anon 💩
taglist: at the bottom HAHAHA
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my guardian demon sucks at his job (not clickbait)
❝ look, i accidentally summoned jeonghan from my statistics textbook the day before you met him at the olive garden. ❞
PAIRING ▸ demon!yoon jeonghan x fem!reader
GENRES ▸ smut, fluff, humor, angst, supernatural, demon au
WARNINGS ▸ not so biblically accurate, profanity, slowburn, found family, inspirations from mythology and h. p. lovecraft, lots of banter, alcohol consumption, sexual tension, teasing, dirty talk, oral (fem. receiving), fingering, palming, unprotected sex (wrap before you tap), mc is painfully horny, ft. demon!shua and demon!wonwoo
SUMMARY ▸ just when you thought your luck couldn’t get any worse, you accidentally manage to summon an ancient demon prince named jeonghan out of a scrap of paper from your statistics textbook. now, you’re tasked with figuring out how to return your so-called “guardian demon” back to where he came from before he can stir up more trouble.
PLAYLIST ▸ our dawn is hotter than day by seventeen • cruel summer by taylor swift
WORD COUNT ▸ 23,610 words
TAG LIST ▸ @byunfirstlady @90s-belladonna @knucklesdeepmingi @xlovette @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @hatesbutlovespeople7734 @goquokka
AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ i had so much fun writing this so i hope you guys enjoy this one!! thank you so much for supporting my works ♡ lmk what u think!
TO BE FAIR, YOU REALLY DIDN’T EXPECT THE SPELL TO WORK.
You initially thought the scrap of paper you found in your statistics textbook was someone’s torn-up Latin homework. You borrowed the copy from the library earlier in the day, realizing that the only way you would pass your midterm would be if you actually studied. Wedged between the pages of Chapter Three - Linear Regression was the dubious piece of paper.
You thought nothing of it at first. You turned a blind eye to how it was yellowed due to age, thinking it was just left behind by accident. It didn’t even cross your mind about how strange it was that someone left their Latin homework in a statistics textbook.
There was no real reason why you read the words aloud. You thought it could act as some sort of good luck charm—something that could manifest good grades on your exams—but you ended up with the exact opposite.
The paper started glowing, but it wasn’t bright light; a void of pitch darkness emitted from the scrap instead. Mind you, it was nearly the middle of the night. It was already dark, but your room was starting to look like you had opened up a schism in space.
You dropped the paper in the middle of the room instinctively, hissing lightly at how it nearly froze your fingers off. Your room’s temperature dropped by several degrees, and if you weren’t internally freaking out about the random black hole in the middle of your room, you would have curled up in your blankets.
This was one hell of a karmic retribution for slacking on your work for half the semester.
if you or a loved one has been diagnosed with. Captivated by a man with big sparkly brown eyes and slutty hands and a pretty waist you may be entitled to financial compensation
Minho: Okay, let’s stop using the term ‘butthurt’ we’re not twelve anymore
Felix: You sound asstroubled
Jisung: A little bootybothered if you ask me
Hyunjin: Someone’s having a tushytantrum
❣ Summary: If you're going to break the rules, then you have to face the consequences of your actions. ❣
❣ Word Count: 5.7k
❣ Warnings: Poly! OT8 x Reader, smut, humor, comfort, fluff, Dom/Sub dynamics, bondage, edging, spit roasting, bukkake, creampie(s), cum play, slight spit play, dacryphilia, choking, degradation, implied after care ❣
❣ Female! Reader [No use of Y/N] | You/Your pronouns ❣
❣ Additional Tags: Usual first name + pet name references for the members, Reader is referred to as Baby, Princess, Good Girl, Bunny, Pup, Bub, Kitten, Muse, Jagi[ya], Sunshine, Noona, probably the filthiest thing I've written so far, lightly edited
❣ Stray Kids Masterlist ❣ General Masterlist
Being in a polyamorous relationship with one of the busiest idol groups meant having to apply schedules to the most mundane parts of your life; which dorm you stay at for the week, who wants to go on solo dates and who wants to do group dates, and most importantly, who's the next to get laid by you and when.
Granted, these types of things are only applied when they're in the midst of a comeback - making sure their work life doesn't interfere with your relationship - but when the dreadful time does come around, the struggle truly begins.
Each of your boys were different in terms of their needs, so the schedule was set to alternate between the needier members having more frequent interactions with you throughout the week while the more independent members cashed their time during off days or weekends.
It was a strange system to adapt to, but you all made it work for the length of the comebacks - though, that doesn't mean it always held up. Some of the boys cracked, some deciding to share their time with you and another boy while others asked for trades in their time slots to see you sooner, but they always did their best not to alter the schedule too much.
That is, until week two came and you were begged for a cuddle session from a certain Aussie leader - Changbin agreeing to save his night for another day since Chris only went out of turn when he was really in his head about something.
You slipped into his room easily, getting bathed in the soft purple lighting of his room as you shut the door behind you. "You okay, Channie?"
He turned onto his side, putting his phone on the small table next to his bed before reaching his hand out, "Yeah, just need you in my arms, love."
Your heart fluttered, obliging his request with a smile as you happily rush to his bed, letting him pull you under the blanket and into his warmth - your darling personal heater who rarely wore anything more than boxer briefs to bed.
It doesn't take long until you're settled underneath him, caged between his arms while his slim hips keeps your legs separated, soft lips pressing to your own with barely hidden intent.
"Christopher," you hum against his lips, pulling away just enough to catch a glimpse of his face, "what are you up to, mister?"
"Need you," he breathed softly, pecking your lips once again before kissing just under your jaw, "need you so bad, baby."
A soft moan floated past your lips as he nipped at your sweet spot, a hand coming up to tangle in his hair, "You know it's not your night, baby - we can't."
"No one needs to know, yeah?" His lips continued down, wet kisses left in his wake until he moved back up to your face, eyes lidded and fogged over with lust. "It's just one night, princess, please." Pressing his body against yours, he ground his hips, further enticing you with the feeling of his hard cock against your clothed pussy. "Please, princess, just for daddy?"
In all honesty, you should've stuck to the rules, you should've been the voice of reason, but then his lips were on yours again and all thoughts of rationality went out the window.
When he felt you melt into the kiss he sighed a breath of relief, pulling away to sit himself up on his knees, "I'll do all the work, baby, alright? I just need you to keep that pretty mouth of yours quiet - we don't want to get caught, do we?"
You shook your head softly, shamelessly checking out his chest under the LED lights, "No, daddy - I'll be quiet."
His right hand caught your chin, bringing your gaze back to his with a knowing smirk, "Good girl."
With that, your fate was sealed with the tangling of limbs, breathless sighs of names, and muffled moans of pleasure.
It wasn't until the next morning that you realized the repercussions of your shared decision, waking up to an empty bed and a wall of texts waiting on your phone that sent chills down your spine.
My Loves - GC
Min [Cat Daddy]🐈: Meeting at 3Racha + Artist dorm tonight
Sun-Bok ☀️: Yep!
Binnie Baby 💪🏻: 👍🏻
My Artist 💌: This'll be fun 🙄
Hannie Jisungie 💘: Do we have to?? I kinda had plans..
Bubs [SeungMongMong] 💕: Han. Read the room.
Baby Bread 🍞❣️: 😭😭😭
Judging from the lack of reply from a certain leader, you already knew what the meeting was going to be about.
Wonderful.
"Do you know why we're gathered here today?"
You wanted to coo at how cute Felix's 'domineering' act was, but you chose to refrain as you sat next to Chris in chairs borrowed from the dining room.
"Um... No?"
Minho clicked his tongue, sharp eyes narrowing in an expression you were all too familiar with, "Are you sure about that, Kitten?"
Pressing your lips into a firm line, you immediately knew that playing innocent was not in your favor.
"Chan?" He now challenged the eldest, the fire in his eyes unwavering.
The black haired man timidly shook his head, not even daring to open his mouth - he was a terrible liar, and everyone knew that.
"Alright, so we're playing this game." Shrugging dismissively, he turned his attention to Hyunjin and gave him a nod.
Without missing a beat, Hyunjin took out his phone and swiped across the screen before putting it down on the coffee table for everyone to witness what would happen next.
You froze at the sound playing from Hyunjin's phone, eyes snapping to Chris as his feigned look of confusion fell to sheepish embarrassment.
Floating through the small speaker were your moans, his moans, and the faint thumping of the bed you had warned him about before the entire scenario started.
"You recorded us?!" Even though he tried to save face, the blush tinting his ears and cheeks was more than a dead giveaway that you'd been caught red handed.
"You fucked her when it wasn't even your turn!" Hyunjin argued, crossing his arms over his chest.
"You were supposed to be asleep!"
"First of all, I can stay up late as long as I want, and second of all, you two aren't the quietest of fucks in this house!"
"We share a wall and I slept through all of that?!" Jisung suddenly piped up, gesturing wildly to the phone on the table, "Why didn't you wake me up?!"
"I sense we're missing the point here..." Jeongin mumbled, snatching Hyunjin's phone from the table to pause the tantalizing audio.
"Innie's right! The point is," Changbin pointed a finger at their leader, "you tricked my bunny into letting you hit!"
Seungmin scoffed, "Tricked is a strong accusation, your 'bunny' isn't as innocent as she seems, isn't that right, pup?"
As much as you wanted to speak up in defense of yourself, they were completely right; you were in the wrong, no matter how it started and how rewarding the act was, you had broken one of the rules explicitly set for comeback season.
"This isn't all sunshine's fault," Felix butted in, quieting the bickering happening around him, "but it isn't all Chan's fault either - they both did it, so they both need to be punished, right? That's what we normally do when rules are broken, isn't it?"
"Exactly," Minho purred, running a hand through Felix's blond hair in appreciation, "and lucky for you two, we already thought of a punishment."
A chill ran down your spine and you stiffened under his mischievous gaze, noticing Chris opening his mouth to speak from your peripheral but closed it once more.
He may have been their leader at work, but here they were all partners, and the eldest card was virtually useless.
Looking between the two of you, a smug smirk graced Minho's lips as he nodded, "No objections? Good." Turning his gaze to you, he nodded his head, "Clothes off, kitten."
Apparently, the agreed upon punishment must've been a pact for pure torture for you and Chris; the eldest remaining in the same dining chair he sat in during the meeting, wearing only his boxer briefs with his wrists tied behind his back as part of his personal punishment.
You, however, seemed to get the brunt of the arrangement, laid naked on a blanket spread out over the area rug, a few decorative pillows spread around in case you needed the extra support.
Chris wasn't allowed to touch you or himself, nor was he allowed to cum during any point of the punishment; whereas you were allowed to touch anyone but Chris, and you weren't allowed to cum while the remaining members used their designated day to fuck you out of schedule - just like their wise leader and boyfriend had done the night before.
After some thorough - and quite unfair - prep by Jisung that left your pussy covered in spit and glistening for all of the boys to pay witness, Jeongin shuffled his way between your legs.
"Hi, Noona."
You did your best not to giggle at how causal he was, despite being stark naked and fisting his dick for what was to come next. "Hi, Innie."
"I still think it isn't fair you let Channie Hyung break the rules like that," he pouted, shuffling closer to rub his tip against your awaiting folds, drawing a shivering breath from you in the process.
"I-I know, I'm so-rry!" The feeling of his cock sliding past your walls had your back arching slightly, a low moan floating past your lips as he steadily filled you to the hilt.
He groaned softly, hands anchoring at your hips as he began to thrust into you without abandon, eyes locked onto where you were connected as his tongue just barely poked between his lips.
Your peace of getting used to his fast pace was interrupted with a shadow being cast over your face, the sight of Changbin shuffling into view with his signature smirk curving his lips.
"You don't mind taking two at once, do you, bunny?" He hummed, tapping the head of his dick against your bottom lip for emphasis.
A pitiful whimper escaped you, eyebrows sloping as realization quickly dawned on you - if he was using your mouth, then that meant you wouldn't get to feel that delicious stretch you'd been craving for the past week, yet another punishment.
"C'mon, little bunny, open up for me."
Doing as you were told, you parted your lips to welcome his thick tip, dropping your jaw to accompany the rest of his thick length to slip into your mouth and press against the back of your throat.
He rocked his hips in an opposing rhythm to Jeongin's powerful thrusts, the force simply jolting you into Changbin's dick and helping him fuck your mouth in return.
Any sound you made was turned into vibrations that shot up his spine, while panted moans and grunted breaths flowed freely from them, mingling with the distant sounds of your other boyfriends pleasuring themselves on the side as they waited for their turn.
"Look at you taking Innie so well, gonna make him come, bunny? Make him fill that needy pussy of yours?" The third eldest goaded, his hand sliding down to grope at your breast, running his thumb over your budding nipple.
Jeongin grunted, head bowed with focus as he drove into you with one desire and one only - to come.
You tried to hum out a reply, nodding your head in hopes that it would get noticed through the bobbing of your head until an increase of speed had your eyes rolling in your head.
"I-I'm gonna come, Noona- Oh, fuck-"
Just as you were ready to feel the signature warmth filling you, the presence of him inside of you disappeared and your eyes shot open to see him jacking himself off above you. Within a few passes of his fist, ropes of cum decorated your stomach, starting just above your naval and ending near your breasts.
It was almost as if he could sense your disappointment as he shot you a cocky smirk, "Oh - did you want me to finish inside? Sorry, Noona, I got to pick since it was my turn."
With a tap to your cheek, Changbin brought your attention back to him, "Don't get too upset, you still have five more dicks to go, bunny."
He was right - your punishment was far from over, and with the needy flutters of your pussy, you knew the requirement of not coming would be an uphill battle.
So, with renowned vigor, you did your best to focus on giving the best head you could manage in this position, laving your tongue against the smooth skin of his dick while trying not to mind the saliva that trailed down your cheek.
In the meantime, Chris wasn't faring too well in his seat, his hard on straining in his boxer briefs and begging for some form of attention from anyone in the room - the subtle shifting doing next to nothing to satisfy the pressure he craved.
He watched as Hyunjin guided Seungmin's mouth up and down his cock, a hand tangled in the long golden tresses of the younger's hair while the other half of his attention was focused on slow makeout session Felix had drawn him into; plump lips working against the smaller pair in a way that couldn't be described as anything other than beautiful.
"IN-ah," Minho called out, almost looking completely unphased by the drag of Jisung's lips against the column of his neck if it weren't for the way his hands gripped his slim waist. "Why don't you make sure Hyung doesn't get too bored over there?"
Fuck.
Jeongin gave a dutiful nod as he crawled his way over to the eldest, fox-like eyes sparkling with a glee that made his stomach flip. "Channie Hyung."
"Jeongin."
He pouted at the use of his name, no glittering nickname or endearing title following, "Don't be like that! You know why we're doing this - you'd do the same if it was one of us!"
Of course, he was right, but that didn't mean he wouldn't try to save as much of his pride as he could, not with the way he could feel his sanity slipping as the two-toned blond settled between his spread legs.
"Alright, alright, 'm sorry," relaxing against the chair, he gave a small smile toward the youngest, "hi, baby boy."
Preening with happiness, Jeongin pressed a soft kiss to the inside of his thigh that nearly had him jolting out of the chair, a delighted laugh floating past those daring lips.
"You know... You didn't have to try to keep it a secret," he hummed, planting another kiss higher up the smooth plane of skin, "there's nothing wrong with needing Noona sooner than us, unless..." Sharp eyes looked up at him, a dark glint sending a spark of electricity down the eldest's spine, "You wanted to see what would happen if we found out - is that it, Hyung?"
Chris opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by a guttural groan escaping Changbin, pulling his attention toward the main event happening in the middle of the living room.
The buff man shivered, hissing sharply as he pulled his softening dick from your mouth, "Show Binnie, bunny."
You opened your mouth immediately, showing the mess of cum and saliva pooling your tongue.
"Good girl, go on and swallow."
Your puffy lips closed for a moment before parting again to show your now empty mouth, void of any remnants of his seed; as a reward, Changbin bent down and pressed his lips to your forehead.
Next in the rotation was Seungmin, Felix, and Hyunjin - taking on a position that seemed to be coordinated in advance; Seungmin taking post between your legs, Felix straddling your torso with his hands already groping your chest, while Hyunjin lingered beside you.
"Jeongin, did you really have to leave a mess behind?" Seungmin groaned as he dragged his thumb through a still wet line of cum, tapping Felix's cheek with his index.
Following his instincts, Felix turned his head and instantly took his thumb into his mouth, and you watched with lust fogged eyes as he sucked it clean.
"Don't act like you weren't going to do the same thing." The youngest deadpanned, shooting the singer a glare, "You're just mad I did it first."
Deciding to ignore that statement, the second youngest slipped his thumb from Felix's soft lips and brought it down toward your awaiting pussy, putting slight pressure on your neglected clit.
You jolted at the sudden touch, whining pitifully, "Minnie, please, don't tease me."
"I don't think you're in any position to make demands, bub."
Despite his snarky reply, you could feel the head of his dick nudge against your slick entrance, all the while Felix was happily enjoying his time with your breasts; gently kneading the mounds and tweaking your nipples with subtle pinches here and there.
"Come here, my angel." Hyunjin murmured softly, cupping the freckled blond's face before pulling him into a sloppy kiss.
You watched helplessly, forced to be a spectator of the pleasure happening around you; the show above you, the sounds of Jisung's unabashed whimpers from the couch, and the grunted gasps of Chris from whatever Jeongin and Changbin had resorted to doing to him.
When the duo pulled away, Felix leaned over to let a stream of spit drip onto his twitching cock and the valley of your boobs, the excitement palpable from the way he practically vibrated above you.
Without any further preparation, he pressed your breasts together to sandwich his cock and rocked his hips forward, a heavenly groan floating past his lips.
At the same time, Seungmin slipped past your walls with little resistance, sighing happily at the warmth of your pussy finally enveloping him.
Your hands found Felix's thighs, squeezing the flexed muscles as he fucked your breasts at a steady pace - meanwhile, Seungmin set his own rhythm of deep and hard thrusts, practically punching moans out of your throat with each slap of his thighs against the back of your own.
"Sunshine, you feel so good," Felix groaned, eyes flicking between your face and the way the pink head of his dick peeked out from between your boobs on each inward thrust.
"Of course she'd feel good," Seungmin scoffed, his hands gripping the backs of your knees for leverage, "the little slut was made for us, isn't that right, pup?"
You preened at his words, tossing your head back with an unabashed moan.
"So shameless, my muse," Hyunjin smirked, watching you lovingly as he lazily fisted his spit-slicked cock. "You love being used like this by us - but, then again, we love getting to use you, too."
Whining up at him, your dazed eyes glanced down at his length and your lips parted - an offering.
"Nuh uh, beauty, I'm waiting for that sweet pussy of yours."
The clench your walls gave earned you a moan from the singer inside of you, his grip on your legs tightening slightly, "Fuck, stop it, pup - feels too fucking good."
Felix whined, tossing his head back with a shivering breath, "W-What's she feel like, Minnie?"
"Wet, warm, t-tight," a low grunt fell from his lips, "I can tell she's getting close - you know, when her pussy f-flutters-"
"-Y-Yeah, oh, fuck- I'm close." The freckled boy's thrusts quickly began to falter, dissolving into him shallowly humping your breasts.
Hyunjin watched as both boys chased their orgasms, your breathless moans floating through the air like a song while your nails scratched angry red lines down Felix's slim thighs.
"A-Ah, fuck, f-fuck-" Seungmin was the first to topple over the edge, pulling out just as he began to come, the hot release adding to the partially dried mess left behind from his boyfriend before.
With a shaky rut of his hips, Felix came with a short cry of your name, his cum painting your neck and mixing with the mess of saliva and precum in your cleavage.
Dropping your legs unceremoniously, Seungmin shuffled from between your legs to sit breathlessly at your side; Felix managing to shakily slide himself off of your torso and into the former's arms.
"Oh, you poor beauty," Hyunjin cooed, taking in your utterly disheveled form as he filled in the newly freed space, "they made you so dirty, didn't they?"
You jolted at the feeling of his hand ghosting your side, your abdomen twisting so hard you nearly folded over.
"H-Hyune, can I come this time? Please, please, I-I need to, i-it's too much!"
"You're begging the wrong person, my muse." He used his right index to drag through the mess at your sternum and down to the cum coating your stomach, "I can't help you, here." Popping his finger into his mouth, a shivering breath ran through his body, eyelids fluttering before focusing his heated stare back onto you, "Don't worry, I'll be fast - two more after me and you'll be done."
Luckily for you, your orgasm had began to subside and you were barely affected by the graze of his fingertips down your hips and thighs, caressing your skin and massaging the tense muscles as he went.
Chris watched as Hyunjin slipped inside of you with little to no resistance, the sight of your cum stained body arching off of the floor making him strain against the rope keeping his hands behind his back.
"Wish that was you, huh?" Changbin taunted low in his ear, squeezing his shoulders before lightly massaging away the tenseness in his biceps, "Look at her, five dicks in and she's still taking everything we give her."
"Fuck."
Hyunjin had your legs in the air, calves resting against his right shoulder to make the squeeze even tighter, making each drag of his cock that much more devilish for you.
That should be him making you moan like that, he should be the one feeling the squeeze of your pussy around his dick, not the stupid confines of his underwear.
He felt like he was going crazy, and it didn't help with Jeongin's intermittent touches to his restrained bulge that kept him hyper aware of everything happening in front of him.
Your moans grew in pitch, one hand gripping onto the artist's forearm while the other gripped a decorative pillow by your head for further support.
"Oh, god - I c-can't- I-"
"Hold it, kitten." Minho spoke up from his position on the couch, "You have two more to go for your punishment - you don't want to make it worse, do you?"
"N-No, but- Ah!" Your train of thought escaped you as the lithe dancer slightly leaned forward, pushing your legs closer to your torso and brushing against your g-spot in an entirely new angle that had you seeing stars.
"You can do it, my love," Hyunjin panted breathlessly, a fine sheen of sweat beginning to glisten on his skin, "g-gonna fill you up for doing such a good job for us, okay?"
There weren't any words you could find to somehow put together a coherent sentence, so you simply nodded with hiccuped breaths - doing your best not to focus on the burning desire in your abdomen.
It only took a few more strokes until he stilled with a gasp, broken moans happening in time with the twitching of his length, filling your cunt with every last drop of his load.
However, the turnaround this time was faster than you'd expected; Hyunjin pulling out with a still throbbing dick, while the sound of scrambling reached your ears before a new presence filled the void.
"Jagi."
Your heart clenched, blinking up at the man with a desperate gaze, "Sungie, please - I-I can't take anymore."
You were overly aware of the warm sensation of Hyunjin's cum dripping down the curve of your ass and undoubtedly staining the blanket beneath you, and you were beginning to feel tacky from the mix of cum and spit drying on your skin.
"I know, I know, but you're so close, Jagi - you can do it for us, right? Take your punishment like a good girl?"
The feeling of him pushing your legs up and out had you sobbing out a breath, everything from your waist down sore and crying for a break.
Jisung rubbed the leaky tip of his cock against your puffy clit, biting his lip as more cum seemed to endlessly dribble out of you, "Shit, he really filled you, hm?"
Then, just as his boyfriends before, he angled his hips and sunk into your sensitive cunt, your moans mixing together in a harmony.
"S-So good - god, I wish I could stay in this pussy." He groaned, leaning forward to hover over you - keeping your legs hooked on the outside of his arms - before shallowly thrusting into you.
The sloppy sounds of skin against skin and the mixture of cum and your arousal filled the living room as everyone watched on.
"Fuck... I wanna go again," Felix whined, doe eyes trained on where you and Jisung were connected.
Seungmin laughed, squeezing his arms around him, "Yeah? I bet Chan wishes he could go at all."
This comment brought each of their attentions to the man in mention, and the sight was one to be memorized for the time to come.
A light sheen of sweat shined across his forehead and chest, shallow breaths expanding his torso and exposing the slight definition of abs with each exhale, and thick thighs spread to display the bulge stretching the light grey fabric of his boxer briefs - a glaringly obvious stain of precum in the form of dark grey spread around the head of his hidden cock and along the length, defining it more.
"Holy shit, Chan - you're turned on this much?" Hyunjin took in the view with amused eyes, though the faint swipe of his tongue over his bottom lip hadn't gone unnoticed.
The eldest whined, an embarrassed blush adding to the flush of arousal on his face, "It doesn't help that these two," he nodded his head between Jeongin and Changbin, "have been over here touching me the whole time, and- fuck, watching everyone take turns with her, how could I not get turned on?"
"Channie Hyung, you look like you're one breeze away from coming." Jeongin giggled as he pressed his index finger against the outline of his tip, pulling it away to see a faint string of precum follow suit.
"He shouldn't." Minho interjected, watching the small group from the couch, "And you better not make him come either, unless you'd like to be added to the punishment list, too."
Another signature whine fell from Felix as he broke his focused stare to look at the black haired man, "Can we at least see him? Please, Hyung?"
There was a moment of silence - well, as silent as it could be with your and Jisung's moans and whimpers still dancing through the air - before he nodded his head.
"Fine, go ahead."
It definitely wasn't a three person job, but when Felix sprung into action with Jeongin, Seungmin wasn't about to be left out of the reveal - so, with three sets of hands and the help of Chris lifting his hips, they managed to toss away his one and only clothing item.
"Holy fuck, thank you," he groaned, his head falling back and lightly knocking against the backrest of the chair; a wave of goosebumps decorating his skin at the temperature shift and change in pressure.
The sudden sound of Jisung cursing called their attention like a moth to a flame, eyes snapping to see the rapper frantically fucking into you with reckless abandon.
Tears streamed down the sides of your face as you gripped his hair, "Please, please, please, I-I can't- j-just come already, Sungie!"
It wasn't clear if it was the tug on his scalp or your command that had him coming, but he was suddenly shaking above you with breathless whines, fucking his load into you with hard, shallow ruts.
He dipped his head to catch your lips in a less than coordinated kiss, a dazed smile finding its way to his face, "Last one, Jagi."
Sniffling up at him, a harsh realization hit you like a freight train - Minho was the last one to go.
Minho, the one who enjoyed seeing you at your wits end, wearing you down until you were nothing but his brainless little kitten - the one who laughed in the face of your pleas and begs, the one who would catch your tears onto his fingers and make you choke on the same digits.
As Jisung slipped away to join the rest of the spectators, you turned your head to see Minho unmoving from his seat, staring at you with a sinister glint in his eyes.
"Hands and knees, kitten."
You were shocked to find out that you still had power left in you to lift your body from the floor, much less manage to turn yourself onto your aching legs before dipping into an arch you'd perfected in your time with them - ignoring the feeling of now cold cum meeting the fluffy warmth of the blanket where you once laid.
It wasn't long until you felt a large hand grip the swell of your ass before landing a hard slap against the cheek making you scream out a moan.
"What did we learn?" He hummed nonchalantly, spreading your ass cheeks to see the newest mess of cum ooze toward your clit.
"I-I won't k-keep secrets," you sobbed, the pulse of your pussy making your toes curl, "if s-someone wants to skip ahead, w-we make sure everyone knows - P-Please, Min, I'm sorry!"
The only sign of acknowledgment he gave you was a clipped hum, sliding one hand to the base of your spine while the other wrapped around his dick, pumping once and tracing your messy cunt.
"Do you think you deserve to come?"
"Y-Yes! Yes, please, I've been good - I-I didn't come while the others fucked me, I-I let them use me, please let me come, Min!" Hiccuping a sob, your hands fisted the blanket as fresh tears streaked down your cheeks, "Please, please, please, it hurts - I can't keep holding it!"
The stretch of his dick past your sensitive walls had your mouth falling open in a silent moan, eyes rolling as your veins flowed with molten lava - overstimulation beginning to set in.
"Okay, kitten, you can come," he murmured softly, his hand sliding up your slightly sweaty back before wrapping around your neck, his body eclipsing yours as his lips hovered just above your ear, "but only when I say so."
He dragged his hips back before delivering a hard thrust, forcing a choked gasp past your lips as he began to practically fuck you through the floor - broken moans and cries flowing like water in a stream.
"Remember this the next time you decide to bend the rules," hissing in your ear, his hand tightened around your neck ever so slightly, "doesn't matter if its Yongbokkie's charms, Hannie's begs, Jeongin's sugar coated promises - none of them, if you try lying to cover for them, this is what'll happen."
"Minho, it wasn't all her fault." Chris gritted, watching the way you writhed in the second eldest's hold - his dick twitching painfully for any type of relief.
Minho scoffed out a laugh, finally directly regarding him ever since the entire punishment started, "When did I ever say it was, Chan?"
Without so much as a stutter in his rhythm, he sat up onto his knees, bringing your body with his and putting you on full display for the rest of your partners.
"This is a lesson to you, too; don't try to keep things from us - if you want to fuck our girl, you can fuck her." His thumb pressed against the underside of your jaw, tilting your head in their direction, "She obviously loves it, so why put yourself through the stress of making it a secret? You can see her just like this without keeping her orgasm from her, isn't that right, kitten?"
You mindlessly nodded as best as you could, drool trailing out of the corner of your mouth as you tried your best to keep your focus on the man restrained in the chair and not on the six other pairs of eyes taking you in.
"Words, kitten."
"Y-Yes, Sir!" You mewled, your hands holding tight to his arm to keep yourself tethered to your own body.
"Exactly, now, say sorry."
Chris bristled, "Minho, that's-"
"Felix."
On command, the boys occupying the space near Chris's legs moved to allowed Felix between them; Jeongin holding onto one thigh while Hyunjin held onto the other to further restrain him.
The second Felix's soft hands wrapped around the base of his dick, he had to bite his lip to silence the pure moan of pleasure that wanted to rise out of him - but, the instant his lips pressed against a vein, he nearly cried.
"Say sorry, kitten," Minho whispered in your ear, breaking through the fog that clouded your brain, "say sorry then you can come."
A sob wracked through your body as you nodded, "I-I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Innie and Binnie. I'm sorry L-Lix, Minnie, a-and Hyune. I-I'm sorry S-Sungie," nearly choking on your breath, you cried, "a-and I'm sorry Min, I'm so sorry, sir!"
He hummed, a smirk on his lips, "You're missing an apology, kitten."
The names replayed in your head like a tape on rewind, your brain desperately searching for who you might have missed until it finally clicked.
"C-Channie!"
The call of his name brought his eyes to yours, breathless groans escaping him as Felix licked at him as if he were a popsicle on a hot summer day.
You sniffled, blown out pupils swimming in the sea of your watery eyes, "I-I'm so sorry, Channie - I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry!"
His heart clenched in time with his abdomen, hips canting as best they could with Hyunjin and Jeongin keeping him still. "I'm sorry, princess, you hear me? Fuck- I'm so sorry, baby."
"Good kitten," Minho grunted, his free hand wrapping around your hip to the apex of your thighs, his skilled fingers finding your clit easily, "now, come for us."
There wasn't a singular word to describe the sensations that shot through your veins; euphoria, relief, satisfaction, all you could feel was the wave of your orgasm crashing around you and drowning you in the muffled sounds of your own screams.
It didn't take long for Chris to fall victim to the sinful kitten licks of Felix's tongue, not when he had the view of you and Minho falling apart before his eyes.
"Oh fuck, f-fuck!"
Minho felt you slump in his arms, shallow breaths wracking your body through soft whimpers and hiccups. "You're alright, Jagiya, I've got you."
You slurred out soft words he couldn't catch, though the faintest "Sorry" caught his ear through the jumbled mess.
"No more of that, kitten, okay? I forgive you - We forgive you, just take some deep breaths with me, hm?"
Changbin appeared in front of you with two wet washcloths, and a t-shirt most likely from his closet, "Hey, bunny, it's Binnie - I'm gonna clean you off, okay?"
You hummed softly and he got to work wiping away the dried cum and spit that stained your skin, using the second cloth to get whatever remnants he missed before handing it off to Minho who cleaned away the cum covering your pussy.
Meanwhile, Felix and Jeongin were having a field day of cleaning up the cum that decorated Chris's skin from his own orgasm; Hyunjin lazily running his hands through Chris's hair while Seungmin untied his wrists.
"Hyung," Seungmin prodded, garnering Chris's tired, but attentive gaze, "we know you mean well, and you don't like imposing over us, or whatever," he took a short breath, fighting through the shyness, "but if you need something then say so - it's not like we haven't adjusted our schedules before."
"Yeah, Chan - we're not gonna fault you if you need your time sooner than us, we do it all the time." Hyunjin chimed in, playing with a small curl at the front of his head.
"Some of us more than others."
"You know, I can hear you," Felix deadpanned, looking up at the three of them while licking his lips, "and it's not like I don't offer sharing my time!"
Jeongin laughed, "I don't think they meant it as a bad thing, Lix, you're just the one who uses your time the most, even if you share it."
"Which is, again, not a bad thing," Jisung piped up with a chuckle, walking toward the group with a washcloth and a bottle of water for the eldest, "I think it's a tie between me and you, honestly."
Through the small talk and pre-shower wipe downs - some of the boys dispersing to shower while others searched for snacks - Chris noticed Minho bundling up the soiled blanket while Changbin cradled your sleeping form in his arms on the couch, murmuring soft words he wasn't able to catch.
"She's okay," Minho hummed, catching Chris's soft gaze, "we're going to let her rest for a minute, then when she wakes up Changbin's going to make sure she uses the bathroom before anything else."
He nodded understandingly, stretching his arms and rubbing absentmindedly at his wrists.
"You want to cuddle with her."
Chris jolted, eyes widening, "What? I didn't say-"
"You don't have to say it, you do it all the time after sex, Chan," he rolled his eyes, a loving smirk playing at his lips, "it's nothing to be embarrassed about. Just..." Sighing, Minho ventured over to the chair he still sat in, "Stop being shy about needing love, okay? This isn't about some stupid rule or 'fuck' schedule - you need to know that there isn't any shame in putting your needs first. You have eight partners, which means you have eight people who are open and ready to give you the love you need, Hyung."
Planting a quick kiss on his lips, Minho disappeared down the hall toward the laundry room, leaving Chris to settle with his words.
Nodding softly to himself, he made his way toward Changbin and swapped roles quietly, accepting a temple kiss from his fellow rapper before he headed into the kitchen to join whoever occupied the space.
Laying across the couch, Chris let you lay partially on top of him, his arm wrapped securely around your back while he used his other hand to caress the soft skin of your cheek with his thumb.
Stirring slightly, you cracked an eye open and a tired smile twitched your lips, "Mm... I love you."
You have eight partners, which means you have eight people who are open and ready to give you the love you need.
He smiled at Minho's words, leaning down to press a soft kiss to the tip of your nose, watching as you drifted back to sleep.
Beomgyu waited by the harbour watching the new comers make their way into the new city. It was always the same. They came here hoping to make a name for themselves or atleast to earn something more than what their villages would offer and most of them didn’t ever return back home. Atleast not alive.
It’s an important day for him and if things worked out he would really be able to go back home. To his precious little town. Back with his family and his friends. He wonders if they’d remember him. Beomgyu had left home so many years ago and the city had hardened him into something he is sure even his mother wouldn’t be able to look past.
The weight of the chain rests in his pockets and he just has to get his stake in this and he’d walk away. A free man. Well, atleast as free as a criminal could be. Taehyun would be waiting for him, back at the slats and he wonders what the kid would say if he showed up late. But, Beomgyu needed this. A small moment of peace. The harbour and its bustle made the frenetic energy buzzing through him ease down.
Beomgyu surveys the crowd one more time and he notices the girl. She looks a little out of place with her overalls and her little bag. The way she is clutching it makes it obvious that it’s something precious to her. Beomgyu’s curiosity rises when he notices her checking the paper in her hands and looking around like a lost puppy. Well if that’s how she is going to be, she won’t survive in the city for too long, he thinks to himself.
-
You look at the rough directions given to you. The Opal shouldn’t be too far away from the harbour. Atleast that’s what Yesseo had told you. you couldn’t figure out how to get to there though, clutching the paper and your bag tightly. Yesseo had warned you about the thieves and you were terrified of someone stealing your stuff. All your possessions where in your little bag and so you held tighter to it, hoping to ask someone for directions.
You walk up to a guy with close cropped hair and give his shoulder a tap. He turns around and you give him small smile.
“Hi… um I was wondering where The Opal hotel was?” You ask him gingerly. The guy gives you a once over and you feel nervous wondering if this was the right thing to do, he does look a bit intimidating now.
“Hi, are you new in town?” he asks you giving you a wide grin, his eyes look a little crazed and you slowly start backing away from him.
“I asked you a question girl” he tells you, advancing towards you and you stumble a little, when another boy suddenly appears in front of you.
“Lay off her Mingyu” the boy tells the other one in a warning tone and ‘Mingyu’ steps away a little. He is twice the size of the boy but seems to be terrified of him. “I was just asking” Mingyu mutters before walking away, while the boy turns towards you with an irritated expression.
You are taken aback by how handsome he is. Long dark hair that almost reaches his shoulders with full lips and he is almost twice your height towering over you. He looks to be around your age. The word “pretty” forms in your head at his appearance.
“Thank you” you tell him gratefully and the boy knits his eyebrows together.
“Don’t announce to everyone in town that you are new here” he scoffs, “It’s not the best of places for a girl to be hanging out alone, especially one who looks as clueless as you are”
What the hell ? “I was just asking for directions and I didn’t need your help anyway” you tell him angry at his attitude towards you. Sure he helped you out of a tough spot, but that’s no way to talk to someone you meet for the first time.
“Oh really, guess I better go then” he tells you beginning to walk away from you.
“Wait” you call out following him but the crowd surges around you making it difficult to find him.
“The Opal is left from the end of this street, try not to get killed” He yells out and you can make out the back of his head before he completely blends in with the crowd.
-
Beomgyu sighs as Taehyun grills him again and again about what had really happened.
“So you are telling me that you left the chain with a random girl at the harbour because the stadwatch had their eyes on you ?” Taehyun asks again incredulously.
“Yess… listen it’s not a big deal, she is at The Opal and she looks new here we can just take it back from her” Beomgyu tells him, trying to convince his friend.
“Freddy is going to kill you” Taehyun warns him.
“Not if he doesn’t know about this” Beomgyu tells him, “We can rearrange the meeting to next week or something”
“But by then, Jeonghan is going to notice that his beloved heirloom is missing” Taehyun tells him.
“The duplicate will fool him for atleast a little while” Beomgyu shrugs his shoulders. “Where is Kai ?”
“You are playing with the devil” Taehyun warns him again, “With Yuma, where else”
“Fuck, if her father finds out, he wouldn’t have to wait for Jeonghans punishment” Beomgyu mutters and Taehyun cracks a smile.
-
You found The Opal alright. You were waiting in the parlour for the reception to come back with their answer.
The place looked very expensive, but it was so bright and gaudy that it hurt to look around too much. Sleazy. You wondered what you’d do when you finally saw him. What would you say ? Would he be looking different now than how he was as a child?
There is excitement, but also you can’t help the fear from creeping in. After all it’s been three years since you last saw him and almost a month since he stopped writing to you. But you needed answers. Yeeseo convinced you.
“Ma’am I’m sorry” the man stands there behind the desk and you look at him in confusion.
“Sorry for what ?” You ask.
“It seems like Mr. Felix has vacated his room yesterday night” he tells you.
“What ?” You ask him not able to believe your ears. Felix is gone?
“I’m sorry Ma’am” the man tells you.
“Could you atleast tell me where he went to?” you ask him willing yourself to not cry.
“Uh…” the man is old enough to be your father and he seems to be struggling about whether or not to share that information with you.
“Please” you beg him quietly.
He seems to make up his mind. “Mr. Felix might have headed off to Havenshade you know… where they are holding the wedding” he adds.
Wedding ? Your head spins and you hold onto the counter trying to steady yourself.
So the rumours were true, it seems like your world is collapsing.
“Are you alright ?” are the last words you hear before everything turns black.
-
Beomgyu patiently waits outside for you. He considers going in, but being in Lee Jihoon’s den doesn’t seem like the best idea. Also if he asked around for you people would know that there is something in you that he wants. Beomgyu can’t risk it.
What if you had decided to stay here? He wonders. No, that couldn’t be. They would normally transport their average customers to Ripple’s. The Opal was for VIP’s and you definitely didn’t look like one.
Beomgyu fidgets around, his patience thinning, he has been here since the afternoon and the sun is almost ready to set. Fuck it, he thinks before walking into the hotel.
Everyone’s eyes fall on him and they watch him as he approaches the front desk. Of course seeing Choi Beomgyu here was not always the best thing. Beomgyu notices Alfreds discomfort and almost smiles before thinking about what he was here for.
“Didn’t think I’d see you here Choi” Alfred tells him in a grave voice.
“Not planning on sticking around” Beomgyu replies curtly. “Didn’t a girl walk in here today morning?” He asks quickly getting to the point.
Alfred looks at him curiously, “Why ? Do you know her ?”
“So, she was here. Where is she now ?” Beomgyu asks.
“Why do you want to know ?” Alfred asks him. Alfred doesn’t know much about Beomgyu, just enough to make him wary of the boy, but he did know Beomgyu’s gang and you definitely didn’t look like someone who was a part of that.
“Just tell me where she is, unless you want me to stick around and help you with your business” Beomgyu tells him. He was tired.
“Alright, alright” Alfred tells him, putting up his hands in surrender, “You are right a girl did came in here, but she left a little while ago”
“What? Where?” Beomgyu begins to panic inside. He was waiting outside and didn’t see anyone leave or was he late to get to here?
“Caused a big scene and everything” Alfred mutters.
“What happened?” Beomgyu asks.
“Well she fainted and then we had to revive her and then she started crying … I kind of felt sorry for her” Alfred tells him and he looks genuinely concerned.
“Well, where is she now then?” Beomgyu asks impatiently. He just wanted to know your location to get back his chain.
“She is probably on the train to Havenshade” Alfred tells him.
“Fuck” Beomgyu mutters before rushing outside the hotel. The train left in fifteen minutes and he had no idea why you were leaving to Havenshade already, but you were leaving with his most prized possession. More than that. His chance at freedom.
-
There was a chill in the air tonight as you waited in your coach. Only one other man sat with you and you were grateful that he didn’t seem the least bit interested in you. He even left the seat between you vacant. You leaned back in your seat, trying to calm your nerves and looked out through the window.
Havenshade wasn’t too far away from the city. But there were no ships sailing there tonight so you had to choose the train. You’d probably reach there by tomorrow evening.
Thoughts of Felix keep popping up in your head but you push them away. You didn’t wish to risk another blackout. It was too painful to think about what would be waiting for you there. Still you refused to let your heart drop.
There is a sound of bustle outside of your coach and you turn your head to see what it’s about. It’s the boy. The one from the harbour. He is pushing his way through the crowd and he seems to be searching for someone. You look at him curiously and his eyes land on you. Why does he look relieved ? He makes his way over to you.
“Well, well, well if it isn’t you again” the boy says sitting down on the seat next to you.
“What are you doing here ?” You ask him incredulously.
“Travelling” he deadpans and you roll your eyes.
“Can’t you sit somewhere else ?” You scoff.
“All the seats are filled genius” he tells you in a condescending tone and you look around. The coach has surely filled up.
“Whatever” you say looking outside of the window again ignoring his presence.
“I didn’t catch your name earlier” the boy says nudging your shoulder.
“I don’t remember giving it to you” you reply.
“What is your name?” He asks you.
“Just mind your business, alright ?” you tell him irritated with his questioning.
“Suit yourself” he shrugs and leans back on his seat, his shoulder pressed against yours and you lean a little away to avoid his touch. He scoffs and imitates you.
It was going to be a long journey.
-.-
It was nearing an hour since the train started. Beomgyu patiently waits for you to fall asleep, so that he can get the chain out of your bag. He tried initiating conversation a couple of times to get you to trust him a little but you seem irritated with it so he drops it. Beomgyu looks over at your bag and at the officer at the end of the coach. He could grab it and get off at the next station if it weren’t for the officer. Beomgyu and you sigh in unison and you look over at him, before looking out again.
Why Havenshade of all places, he thinks to himself. It’d be crossing his hometown and he is not sure if he would be able to handle that. Beomgyu barely had time to let Taehyun know that he’d be going with you. His plan was to get down by the next station with the chain but you didn’t even seem close to sleeping.
Beomgyu looks at you through the corner of his eyes. Your brows were knit in thought and a pout played at your lips. Pretty, he thinks to himself before pushing that thought away and closing his eyes.
“Uh…” Beomgyu hears your voice and cracks open an eye to look at you. “Do you, you know maybe have some water ?” You ask him nervously. You felt parched and hungry. It had been a long journey today.
“Yes let me just grab it from my carrier… oh wait I don’t have one” Beomgyu replies sarcastically.
You look at him with a neutral expression, “you could’ve just said no” you say ignoring the arguments forming on his lips.
“Sir, do you have some water ?” You ask the man sitting next to the boy.
The man hadn’t even spared you a glance this whole while, only looking up now. He takes in your appearance and you do the same to him. He looks refined, almost like a scholar.
“Yes” he tells you, giving you his water bottle and you accept it gratefully.
You unscrew the water bottle and are about to take a sip, when the boy snatches it out of your hands. You turn to him angrily, when you see him sniffing the water. He gives it a shake and then hands it over to you.
“Gotta be careful genius” he tells you and you look at him before looking over at the man, who you are sure would be offended by this.
The man just shrugs his shoulders, “I’m with him on this one” he tells you. You give him an awkward smile and grab the bottle back from the boy, chugging it down thankfully. The boy also drinks from the bottle before handing it over to the man. You thank him for the both of you.
“Well, I get off here” the man tells to no one in particular and gets up from his seat, grabbing his bag and walking towards the door. You wave at him lamely and notices the boy smiling at you, so you sit back to your seat.
“I’m Beomgyu” he tells you.
“Y/N” you tell him grudgingly. Well, he helped you from almost being poisoned and also at the harbour so might as well be nice to him, you think to yourself.
“I know” Beomgyu tells you, a grin playing on his lips and you look at him with wide eyes.
“But-“
“Your bag has your name on it genius” he tells you and you look down on it. You blush with embarrassment and choose to look out of the window.
Without looking you can tell ‘Beomgyu’ is smiling at you.
-
The sun rays play their little game over his eyes and Beomgyu groans a bit before waking up. It takes him a while to place his surroundings but he immediately jumps up seeing that the seat next to him is empty.
The train has stopped at some station and Beomgyu is frantically searching for you. He can’t find you anywhere in the coach and he runs to the door when he feels the train beginning to move. Beomgyu’s heart is in his throat when he realises where he is as he looks down at the station as the train picks up speed.
“Wait” he hears you scream and Beomgyu turns around to see you running towards the train carrying a bottle of water with you and your bag around your shoulders.
“Run faster you idiot” Beomgyu screams back holding out his hand, willing your legs to pick up their speed. “Don’t lose your bag” he calls out holding his arm outstretched, it didn’t seem like you were going to make it.
“Ahhh” you scream in frustration as you watch the train get further away from you.
-
Fuck it, Beomgyu thinks before leaping out of the train onto the station. He tries to steady himself but loses balance, so he tucks himself into a roll to minimise the fall. The train whizzes past and he slowly get up, dusting himself. His arms have a few cuts but other than that he is fine. You finally reach him, gasping and clutching your side in pain, bend over.
“The train left” you gasp out.
“Really?” Beomgyu huffs, “Why the fuck did you get off ?”
“To get water” you mumble.
“Fucking hell” he says pacing around.
“Hey! I didn’t ask you to get down with me” you tell him angrily. You feel quite delirious with hunger and you can’t take anymore of Beomgyu’s attitude.
“Be thankful you brat!” He tells you angrily, “How could I just leave you alone here?”
That makes you pause. It was true. You had no idea where you were. An Officer stood by the end of the station watching you both.
“Thank you” you tell Beomgyu softly, looking at him. He is covered in cuts and you feel bad.
Beomgyu doesn’t reply, clutching the bridge of his nose and looking away annoyed.
“Listen, let’s clean you up and then we can figure it out” you tell him, trying to lighten the atmosphere.
Beomgyu’s heart softens just a little bit at that. You didn’t know about his motives and he felt bad for taking out his anger on you. He turns to you and takes in your appearance. Beomgyu can’t tell when he fell asleep last night, he had waited for so long for you to nod off, he must’ve dozed off too. You look beyond exhausted to him.
“Yeah” he tells you sitting down on the nearby bench.
-
Your brows knit themselves in concentration, cleaning out Beomgyu’s cuts. None of them seem too deep making you worry less. You wash them and tie the big one up with your towel. Looking up you notice Beomgyu’s eyes on you and you look away.
“Done” you tell him.
Beomgyu checks your work, “Not bad” he tells you and you roll your eyes. Getting up you make your way over to the Officer. Beomgyu follows behind you.
“Sir, hi -um when will the next train to Havenshade be ?” You ask him.
“Havenshade? Ma’am there is no train to Havenshade for the next four days” he tells you checking the schedule and your heart drops. You hear Beomgyu sigh behind you.
“Thank you” you tell him before plopping down on the seat holding your head in your hands. What were you going to do? You were running a little tight on money. You watch as Beomgyu makes conversation to the Officer.
Beomgyu makes his way over to you. He had no intention of staying here for more than a day. If anybody notices him, his mom would know and that’d be the end.
“There is a train in an hour, back to the city” he tells you, sitting down next to you.
“Good for you” you tell him.
“Good for us” he corrects you.
“I can’t go back, I need to get to Havenshade” you tell him, still holding your head in your hands.
“Well, unless you plan on sprouting wings, how do you expect to get there?” Beomgyu asks you. This was not supposed to happen.
“I don’t know, I’ll wait for the next train I guess” you tell him, fighting back tears. You had no idea either how you’d stay here for four days.
“What’s waiting for you at Havenshade ?” Beomgyu asks you, a little out of curiosity.
“A wedding” you tell him.
“Whose?” He presses.
“Someone important to me” you say.
“Your Dad’s ?” Beomgyu asks you and you resist the urge to punch him, knowing he will be able to knock the air out of you.
“My…” you start and you feel tears swelling up, “My lover’s” you say before you break down in tears. Fine, it’s not like you had any more pride left in you.
“Are you kidding me?” Beomgyu asks as you wipe away your tears furiously and you finally look at him.
“I wish I were” you sniffle a little, “I heard he is getting married, I’m going to see if it’s true… I haven’t seen him in a while” you trail off as new tears flow down your cheeks and you cover your face.
“Hey” Beomgyu calls out softly, patting your back, “It’s alright”
“It’s not” you wail. “I don’t have a place to stay and I- Idontknowwhattodoo” you cry harder
Beomgyu sighs. How he ends up in these kinds of situations is beyond him. He takes note of your bag - couldn’t you have left it on the train before getting off to get water, he thinks to himself annoyed. You are now clutching onto it, crying freely and wiping your nose and tears on it.
“I might know a place” Beomgyu finally tells you and you look at him, eyes puffy and red.
“Really ?” you ask him, lips wobbling.
“Get up” he tells you wiping away your tears and giving your head a pat.
“I’m hungry” you mumble and your stomach rumbles.
“Of course you are” Beomgyu sighs walking out
You follow him out of the station clutching your bag not knowing it’s your saviour.
-
The house still looks the same after all these years, except for a couple more chairs on the porch, there is nothing new. Beomgyu waits at the gate, waiting for… something-anything. He can feel you behind him.
“Is this your house?” You ask him timidly.
“Used to be” he tells you. Beomgyu could’ve grabbed your bag and made a run for it hours ago, but something in him hasn’t hardened over enough to make him that cruel. He doesn’t know what exactly he is waiting for.
“Um… aren’t we going in ?” You ask him. Beomgyu had paid for your meals albeit complaining about how much of a pain in the ass you were, but you were extremely thankful to him. You wondered why he got on the train with you in the first place. Why is he helping you?
“Yeah” Beomgyu clears his voice and opens the gate, walking towards the house and you follow him meekly.
Beomgyu rings the doorbell and he notices lights turning on in the hall. He feels the anxiety rise in him, threatening to choke him, he almost feels lightheaded and is about to turn off and run away when you gently take hold of his hand. Beomgyu looks at you in confusion and you squeeze his hand as though you can read his thoughts.
The door opens and it takes him a while for the features in front of him to form a familiar face. His mother stands there and stares at him for a couple of minutes before she launches herself onto him. You quickly step back as you watch the lady simultaneously hit and hug Beomgyu.
“You… where the hell… oh lord….” She asks before she finally breaks down and Beomgyu hugs her close. You notice his shaking form and you look away, not knowing what to do.
“Mum…” he calls her gently in a broken voice and you realise who she is.
“Don’t you dare” Beomgyu’s mom tells him before hitting his chest again. “How could you? Where have you been all this time? Couldn’t you atleast let me know if you were alive or dead ?”
“Mum” he repeats and she stands back looking at him.
“Why did you come back?” She asks him.
“I- I wasn’t planning on it… I just a lot of things happened and somehow I ended up back here, I wouldn’t be back here in this- in this hell, by my own choice” he mutters and you wonder if this was a good strategy.
His mother looks at him with a heartbroken expression and you feel bad for her. You also feel like giving Beomgyu a smack to bring him back to his senses.
“When did this place become hell to you? Were we the ones who turned it that way ?” she asks him quietly and Beomgyu quickly looks down at his feet in shame.
“I’m sorry” he tells her softly and you notice how small his voice has become. “I’ll leave” he says and your fear rises. Where will you stay ?
“If you plan on leaving after not coming home and not even letting us know if you were even alive, then you are dead to me Choi Beomgyu” she tells him rougly and he looks at her nervously.
“No, it’s not like that” he tells her. “I- I just didn’t plan on returning like this after everything that I caused”
Beomgyu’s mom watches him for a moment before her eyes fall on you. You fidget around nervously before giving her a small smile while she frowns at you and you too look down at your feet like Beomgyu.
“Who is this?” His mom asks him and Beomgyu looks at you like he is just noticing your presence now, “I don’t know” he mutters and you look at him in shock, “Someone I found along the way” he adds when he notices his mom and you staring at him.
“Hi, um I’m Y/N” you say giving Beomgyu’s mom a slight bow of your head, she looks at you once more before grabbing hold of your bag and taking it from you.
“Well don’t just stand there, come inside” she says and walks back inside while you look at Beomgyu. He gives you a shrug of his shoulders before walking in and you tag along.
-
“This is his old room, you can stay here” Beomgyu’s mom tells you showing you a small room with one desk and a bed. You are ready to collapse by this point. Beomgyu was waiting downstairs, talking with his brother and explaining everything to him again while his mom had guided you to his room.
“I can sleep on the couch, I’m sorry for being such a bother” you mumble and her gaze softens a little.
“No sweetheart, if anybody is to sleep on that couch it should be that boy” she tells you and you notice the pain in her voice every time she refers to Beomgyu.
“Keep your belongings safe, there are a lot of thieves around this area” she warns you and you notice Beomgyu standing behind her.
“The only thing in her bag is poverty” he says and you scowl at him.
“You” his mother turns to him and Beomgyu’s entire demeanour changes, he goes back to his meek self. “I’m still not done talking to you” she warns him and he nods his head.
“Why don’t you wash up and get ready for dinner ?” His mother asks in a much more softer tone to you.
“Yes Ma’am” you tell her as she closes the door behind her and you sit down on his bed.
-
“It’s not nice to look through others things” Beomgyu tells you and you almost fall down from the fright he gave you.
“Stop sneaking upon me” you tell him, sitting down on your bed.
You were going through the colouring books sitting on the desk and maybe you took a peek inside his cupboard but only to keep your bag in there.
“It’s my house” he reminds you sitting down next to you and you roll your eyes, you hold back the urge to say something mean when you see how sad he looks.
“So, boyfriends cheated on you yeah?” Beomgyu asks. Asshole.
“No” you reply firmly. “He must’ve been trapped into it or something… Felix would never do something like that” you tell him, doubtfully.
“Sounds like you are trying to convince yourself” Beomgyu tells you without looking at you. His eyes scan the room and you wonder how he feels to return back home.
“You don’t know him” you tell Beomgyu to which he shrugs his shoulders. “Why did you leave here?” you ask him after a moment of silence.
“Getting straight to the point huh?” Beomgyu chuckles looking down at his lap. You give his shoulder a nudge and he looks into your eyes.
“I uh, I made a lot of bad choices” he tells you looking away from you, “Lost a lot of money”
“And?” You press.
“Well, I ran away” he says hanging his head low. “Mom… she had to sell off a lot of our property to pay off all the debt. Our farm and the motor shop that my dad owned, they are all pledged to the loan sharks…” Beomgyu trails off.
“Good job” you tell him and he looks at you in annoyance. “How do you plan on getting it all back ?”
“I see a light now, I just have to wait a little longer” he tells you a smile playing on his lips. “Sooner or later I’ll get it all back”
“Must be nice. Having that kind off surety about something” you tell him, your turn to look away.
“Have faith Genius, maybe your Felix might come running back to you, when he sees you” Beomgyu tells you and you can’t tell if he is joking or being serious.
“Sure he will” you say and Beomgyu gets up.
“Come on, let’s eat dinner, Mom has taken a liking to you which I don’t appreciate” he frowns at you before pulling you up.
-
The hens stood there waiting for you expectantly while you hovered behind Beomgyu. His mom had assigned you the task of cleaning out the coop and you had agreed as a form of thank you, but now you were regretting your decision.
“I have no prior experience in this field” you mutter pushing Beomgyu forward.
“Stop pushing me idiot it’ll anger them” Beomgyu huffs out equally terrified. He usually took care of the goats, his brother had chicken duties. Beomgyu guessed this was his mom’s way of punishing him.
“Just open the door” you tell him, holding onto his arm.
“Why don’t you do it ?”Beomgyu asks looking down at you. You were wearing his old shirt and pants. Beomgyu had burst out laughing when he first saw you, but now you looked a little cute. Just a little.
“I’m a guest here” you tell him.
“Make yourself at home, open the coop and we’ll figure it out” Beomgyu huffs out, trying to push you in front.
“Get a move on it already” you hear his mom shouting from the kitchen and terrified you slowly, step forward with your hand outstretched towards the door.
“Please please please” you chant while you gently open the door and slowly let it swing on its hinges when Beomgyu gives you a sudden push from behind. You scream out loud, startling the hens and the rooster who immediately started beating his wings at you.
You stumble backwards in a rush trying to get away from them and lose your footing falling onto Beomgyu. Beomgyu tries to manage your weight on him, but it being too sudden he loses his balance and the both of you fall onto the ground with you on top of him, while four to five hens and a fucking rooster all amble out of the coop.
“Ow geroff” Beomgyu tells your trying to push you off. You try getting up before stumbling back onto him and he catches hold off your waist, trying to steady you.
You notice how incredibly close your faces are, close enough to notice how long Beomgyu’s lashes are and it once again strikes you how beautiful he is.
“Stop gawking at me and get up Genius” he tells you flicking your forehead.
“Let go off me first” you mumble and Beomgyu removes his hands from your waist. You get up immediately, dusting yourself off. Beomgyu too gets up and you give him a shove watching him fall down again.
“What was that for?” He yells out.
“For pushing me earlier” you reply and he shows you a very rude gesture.
“Choi Beomgyu! If I ever see you do that again, you’ll be out from this house” his mother yells from the kitchen window and Beomgyu immediately hangs his head down.
“Apologise to her” she yells again and Beomgyu mumbles a soft ‘sorry’ to you, while you try to fight back laughter.
Beomgyu flicks your head again when his mother turns her back on you both.
-
Four days go by in a whizz. You followed Beomgyu around to wherever he went because his mother kept trying to get you to admit you were his girlfriend. You liked his mom but it made things a bit awkward every time you told her, you were in fact really just strangers. You didn’t see much of his brother and Beomgyu seemed to avoid him whenever he came home.
Today would be the last day at his home. You wondered where Beomgyu would go after here. You never talked about it. But you did talk about a lot of other things. Your usual banter still continued but it had a lot less bite to it. Beomgyu usually took you with him for fishing and he’d show you tricks on how to catch them easier. You of course fumbled and stumbled and one time nearly drowned. Beomgyu was deft with his fingers, long and slender ones, he’d have been a good musician you think. You still didn’t know what he did for a job, but you were pretty sure it was not lawful.
“You told your mom you work as a broker?” You ask him incredulously. “And she bought it?”
You were currently sitting by the lake, while Beomgyu laid down next to you.
“I do work as a broker” he tells you “occasionally” he adds, disturbing the weeds by his feet while you look at him in disbelief.
“Whatever works for you I guess” you tell him leaning back on your hands and looking up at the sky. The sun was nearly setting.
“What about you?” He asks, it’s the first time he is shown some kind of curiosity about your life.
“I work on a ranch” you tell him.
“You?!” Beomgyu sits up surprised. “You can’t even face hens”
“I don’t work with the animals, genius” you tell him. “I manage the money”
“Didn’t think you were that clever” he mutters and you push his shoulder before silence falls between you two again. The ease with which Beomgyu fit in with you terrified you.
Beomgyu hated to admit it, but he has never felt so comfortable around someone. Seeing you walking around his home in his old clothes, the way you naturally fit in with his family, made him feel things he was scared to acknowledge. Parting with you tomorrow would be difficult, but it’d be for the best. He had to do his thing tonight.
-
It’s almost two at night when Beomgyu sneaks up into your room. He slowly opens the door, willing it not to creak as he slides his way in. You are fast asleep on his bed and Beomgyu stops for a moment to look at you, to make sure you were asleep, he tells himself.
Your mouth was slightly open and you clutched your pillow. Beomgyu marvels at how peaceful you looked while you were asleep. He almost sweeps away the hair on your forehead but then thinks better off it and makes his way to the cupboard. Beomgyu had noticed you stuffing your bag in here on the first day. Since you’d be parting ways tomorrow he thinks this would be the perfect time to get back the chain.
The cupboard door opens easily enough and Beomgyu looks at you again. You are still asleep. He holds his breath and takes out your bag before sliding his way out of the room.
Once at the landing Beomgyu opens up your bag, looking through it for the chain. He puts his hands inside, rummaging through it but he can’t seem to find the chain. Beomgyu drops the contents of the bag onto the floor and checks them once again.
The chain is missing.
-
You wear your overalls again, Beomgyu’s mom had given you a couple of his old T-shirts and shirts and some pants which she altered for you. You didn’t think you’d feel so sad about leaving. His mom had hugged you tightly when you left this morning, making you promise that you’d visit again. Beomgyu’s brother gave you a small wave when you left.
Beomgyu accompanied you to the station and currently sat next to you waiting for the train. He had seemed distressed and uneasy since today morning. He barely carried anything of his own and you wondered if he didn’t plan on returning to the city. He had just given his mother a quick hug before getting out the house.
Beomgyu felt like the world had played a cruel joke on him. He had gone through your bag around five times before finally accepting that the chain was lost. He had no idea, where it had gone or what he would do from now on. Taehyun and Kai, they’d be waiting for him. Beomgyu felt a desperation he hadn’t encountered for a long time.
“Aren’t you returning back to the city?” Your voice breaks Beomgyu’s thoughts and he looks over at you. Right, he would be parting ways with you too. He wondered how that’d be.
“I don’t know. Remember the light before? Right now I can’t find it” he tells you leaning back in his seat. Beomgyu seemed close to tears and you felt sorry for him.
“Will we see each other again ?” You ask him quietly and a look passes over Beomgyu’s face which you can’t recognise.
“You promised my mom you’d visit again” he tells you in answer.
The train comes into your view and you get up, picking up your bag and slinging it over your shoulder. Beomgyu gets up and waits beside you with his hands in his pockets. As the train stops, you make your way to get into the coach but Beomgyu tugs at your arm and you look at him questioningly.
Beomgyu fidgets for a moment before pulling you into a hug. A moment passes before you hug him back. His head rests on top of yours and you had grown so familiar to his scent that tears prickle at your eyes.
“Bye, idiot” he murmurs and you let him go, getting onto the coach, waiting at the door. The train starts to move again slightly and Beomgyu is waving his bye at you when you fish out something from your pocket.
You swing the chain in your hands and Beomgyu’s eyes widen in shock, “This is your light right?” You call out and Beomgyu starts walking along the train.
“If you come with me and help me out I’ll give this back to you” the train picks up speed and Beomgyu begins running “As a gift” you shout out while Beomgyu leaps onto your coach. He grabs hold of the handles and you pull him in, grabbing the front of his shirt.
Beomgyu and you stumble into the coach his arms around you while you grip the front of his shirt. He pants a little leaning his forehead against yours and you fight back your smile.
“I could kill you right now” he whispers to you and you laugh a little.
“You wouldn’t dare” you tell him softly and he lets you go.
-
“When… how?” Beomgyu mutters next to you. You are bound to reach Havenshade by tomorrow morning. The sun had set and most of the other passengers had dozed off.
“Well, I wondered why you got on the train with me in the first place and you know, at the station, you shouted at me telling me to not lose my bag” you tell him, remembering your events, “You seemed so obsessed with it, I figured it meant something to you”
“Imagine my surprise when i saw the chain” you tell him nudging his shoulder and Beomgyu’s head hangs low. He lets out a chuckle before looking at you.
“Quite a smart cookie, huh?” He asks you flicking your forehead while you swat his hand away.
“Well, you are not that smart” you tell him shrugging your shoulders and Beomgyu’s eyes harden.
“You know i could just knock you out, take my chain and run away” he tells you.
You look into his eyes. Some part of you believes he might do it but another part, the one that had sat with him and fed chickens with him, tells you it won’t happen.
“I don’t think you’ll risk your mothers wrath like that again, besides you are not that cruel” you tell him, looking away outside.
“You never know sweetheart” he tells you in a sarcastic voice.
You lean to rest your head against Beomgyu’s shoulder, feeling Beomgyu stiffen besides you. “I’m not your head rest” he mutters but adjusts so that you could properly rest your head on his shoulder.
A couple of moments pass and you are sure Beomgyu had nodded off when he softly asks you what you were planning to do when you meet Felix again.
You’ve been asking that question to yourself all this time. “I- I don’t know. Felix and I, we’ve been together since childhood. I can’t really imagine him doing this” you tell Beomgyu. “I gave up everything for him you know” you add softly and Beomgyu looks up immediately.
“What do you mean?” He asks you.
“I mean I left everything behind for him. My family, my friends everything. Only my sister believes in me. They all told me it’s a dumb thing to do. I don’t know, maybe it is. But I can’t live without knowing what really happened” you lay it all down for Beomgyu.
Beomgyu looks at you softly. “I’ll help you” he tells you before pushing your head back onto his shoulder.
“What about you?” You ask him. “Don’t you have someone up in the city?”
Beomgyu laughs at that. “No one’s met my standards yet” he tells you.
“What are your standards ?” You ask out of curiosity.
“Someone like Park Bo-young” he tells you in a low voice.
“What- the actress ?” You laugh. “You are never going to find someone like her” you shake your head before looking outside not noticing Beomgyu’s eyes on you.
-
“They are heading to Havenshade” the man informs the Mercher sitting in his office.
“He has a girl with him and they seem to be heading off to Havenshade for the marriage” Wonwoo says in a calm manner.
“Hmm” Yoon Jeonghan replies, dusting off his coat.
“But how are you sure, he stole your chain ?” Wonwoo asks mostly out of curiosity. No one dared to cross Yoon Jeonghan and it’d have been an impossible feat to break his vault.
“You don’t know that boy. That lock, it can only be opened by the maker or by the person having the right key” Jeonghan mutters.
“Then how did he ?” Wonwoo asks in wonder.
“I wish I knew. My son, the boy once saved my son who accidentally crawled into the vault. He would’ve have died in there without air and I had been out of town on that god awful day. Beomgyu knows the mechanism of the vault better than even the maker” Jeonghan huffs out.
“That’s a blood debt on your part” Wonwoo tells him quietly.
“Yes. But he should’ve known better than to cross me” are the last words Jeonghan says before storming out.
-
This was your last hope. Nearly all the hotels and inns have been booked out. Dragging your feet behind you, you follow Beomgyu to the last inn left at Havenshade.
“Seriously, who is he marrying ?” Beomgyu asks you irritated. “The whole town seems to be celebrating”
You hang down your head in defeat and Beomgyu pulls on your hair to make your head jerk up.
“We will kidnap him if we have to” he tells you and you smile a little.
The inn was more of a cottage than anything else. Beomgyu makes his way over to the reception while you hang back. You could see the sea from the windows at the hall. On your way, you had seen the church and it had wedding preparations all around it. Felix would be around here somewhere.
“There is a room alright” Beomgyu tells you standing next to you.
“Oh thank god” you say ready to collapse.
“Not so quick sweetheart. There is only one room” he tells you gravely.
“So ?” You ask him.
Beomgyu groans in frustration, “So we will have to share a bed Genius” he tells you.
You look at him curiously. “You are supposed to be a hardened criminal or something, and yet sleeping on the same bed with me terrifies you ?”
A look passes over Beomgyu’s face before he walks over to the reception again and you watch him. You have been through so much together in the last few days, how could sharing a bed be any difficult ?
-
“So here is the plan” Beomgyu tells you sitting down on the bed, while you lean against the windowsill. Beomgyu had gone out to gather as much information as he could while you settled into the room.
“You really do sound like you’re planning on kidnapping him” you say.
“Do you want the plan or not?” Beomgyu asks you irritated and you hold your hands up in surrender.
“Sorry, I tend to joke when I’m nervous” you tell him.
“You are not very funny” he mutters and you pout at him. “Maybe just a little” he adds.
“Anyways, this is the plan. They are holding a premarriage ceremony at The Empire. We can sneak in there, and- wait listen” Beomgyu tells you seeing you are ready to interrupt, “We will sneak in there and try to see what your Lixie is upto, okay?”
“They’ll obviously ask for invites and I don’t have any fancy dresses” you state the obvious. “Also I don’t call him Lixie”
“You think I don’t have that already worked out?” Beomgyu asks you, grinning slightly.
“You managed to get invites ?” You ask him incredulously and Beomgyu shrugs his shoulders.
“I don’t think we should be doing all this, I just have to meet Felix at his hotel, that’s all” you mutter.
“It’s not going to be that easy Genius. We are literally trying to break off a wedding. That too he is marrying the daughter of a Merchant” Beomgyu huffs out. “This requires careful planning”
You look at Beomgyu and he lets you look into his eyes. “Alright” you say. “Where are the fancy dresses ?”
“I was waiting for you to ask that” Beomgyu tells you grinning widely.
-
“I look like I’m about to perform Shakespeare” you huff out. Beomgyu had managed to get you a black velvet gown and a suit for himself. Except the gown happens to be twice your size. You had managed to pin up most of it to not look like you were drowning in fabric, but there is only so much you can do.
Beomgyu steps out of the bathroom and you look at him, your breath catching a little. He has somehow managed to smooth down his wolfcut and looked very dignified. You can’t help but admire how handsome he looks. Making your way over to him, you fix his tie and tug on his shirts collar to make it straighter.
“You- you look fine” Beomgyu manages to choke out. He was so used to seeing you in his shirts and trousers that your appearance almost knocks him away.
“No I don’t” you tell him looking at the mirror again. You felt like a clown. The dress had a deep neckline and you felt very conscious about yourself, tugging on it to stop it from dipping down.
Beomgyu pushed you down onto the chair and stands behind you and you look up at him.
“Give me the chain” he tells you.
“Why?” You ask him curiously.
“Just give it to me” you pick up the chain from your bag and hand it over to him.
Beomgyu pushes your hair away before fastening it on to your neck. The ruby on it glints and you take in a breath, when you feel his hands on your shoulder.
“Perfect” he murmurs and you are not sure what he is referring to.
“Couldn’t you have picked up some eyeliner too ?” You ask him.
“Princess just has to sit on her high horse and hand out commands right?” Beomgyu tells you in annoyance leaning close to your face to look into the mirror fixing up his hair. “Be grateful for what I got you, you brat”
“This looks ancient” you mutter looking at the blush he got you. You feel hot and bothered by how close he is being to you but you hold your ground.
Beomgyu stands back and watches you as you put on the rouge on your cheeks and lips. You look at him again asking him if you looked fine and Beomgyu feels like a tortured man. Surely, you had some clue about the effect you had on him.
“I don’t think I can do anything more than this, it’s all pointless anyway” you tell more so to yourself than anyone else, adjusting your hair.
“You are beautiful” Beomgyu says softly and your eyes widen a little. “I have half a mind to not let you go” he tells you, half jokingly.
“What about Park Bo-young?” You tease Beomgyu, getting up from your seat and making your way to him.
“A man can dream” he tells you taking your hand in his.
-
The ceremony looked exquisite. People were pouring in, a little orchestra had been set up and conversation happened all around you. Beomgyu had managed to sneak you both in without any problems.
Felix sits next to his bride-to-be murmuring something in her ear, while she laughs. You’ve been watching them silently for the last ten minutes or so. Felix didn’t look the least bit bothered by this. He seemed to be enjoying himself. Tears threaten to fall from your eyes as you watch him.
Beomgyu had told you to wait till an opportunity presented itself so that you could talk to Felix without raising any suspicion. Now, seemed like the perfect time. Felix was getting up from his seat and making his way to the washrooms. You look over at Beomgyu, who had left your side to make conversation with some of the Merchers.
To hell, you think getting up and following Felix. You wait outside a little to the left, the wall covering you well. Anxiety rises in you but you will yourself to stay calm. You needed answers.
The door opens and Felix steps out, glancing your way and then doing a double take. He looks worried and he looks around before walking upto you.
“What are you doing here ?!” He asks you in a harsh whisper and you are taken aback by his tone. Felix has never once raised his voice at you. He had been your kind and loving boy. Your mother used to call him Sunshine.
“I should be asking the same to you” you tell him tears threatening to fall down. “I haven’t heard from you in ages and all of a sudden you are getting married ?” Your voice rises and Felix covers your mouth.
Felix pulls on your arm, taking you outside through the side. The sea flows silently behind you and the moon sits high above your heads.
Felix lets go of your arm before holding his head in his hands. You wipe away your tears furiously as you watch him pace around angrily. Your arm hurts a little from his bruising hold.
“It’s not what you think it is” he tells you finally. His tone is still a little too rough for your liking.
“What is this then ?” You ask him. The tension rises in you again and you feel a little light headed.
“It’s not- ugh, why did you have to come ?” Felix asks you and your heart breaks at his tone. You look at him silently, taking in his appearance. His face is a lot more sharper than you remember and hair longer. But the freckles still remain on his face, proof of the days you had spend together at the fields playing around.
“How could i not ?” You ask him quietly. “You don’t think i deserve answers ?”
Felix runs his hands through his hair agitated. “I have to go through this marriage. It’s my last chance. You don’t understand” he tells you.
“Why ?” you ask him black spots play around your eyes and you try blinking them away.
“I- I need to. It’ll take care of my debts. You don’t know. Life isn’t some walk in the park. There is nothing waiting for me back home. I need to do this” he tells you harshly.
Felix is telling you a lot of things and you hear them but the ringing in your ears get louder. You want him to stop talking. To go back. You - you need Beomgyu.
“You need to leave” Felix tells you and you look at him sharply. “I can’t have you messing this up. We would’ve never worked out, Y/N. You were never- you were never quite enough for me you know” he tells you.
Bile rises in your throat and you are sure you will black out any second. You touch the chain around your neck as Felix reaches towards you. You feel warm arms around your waist and you look upto see Beomgyu standing next to you. You give him a small smile and notice his strained expression.
It’s the last thing you see.
-
The room is dark when you wake up. It takes a while for the disorientation to go away and you slowly try to get up from the bed when Beomgyu pushes you down.
“Don’t” he tells you and you turn around to switch on the bedside lamp. You are still wearing your gown and Beomgyu was still in his suit.
“How long was I out ?” you ask him groggily.
“An hour ?” He tells you “You stirred a couple of times but then stopped a little while ago”
“What happened?” You ask him and Beomgyu raises his eyebrows at you. “Well, I know I passed out what happened after that?”
“I brought you back here” he tells you sweeping away the hair on your forehead.
“What about- what about Felix ?” Your voice cracks a little and you close your eyes.
Beomgyu looks at you with something like pity. He had noticed you were gone and had searched the whole party for you frantically. Beomgyu had heard raised voices coming from the back of the hall and had seen you and Felix. He decided to stay back to see how it goes. When it seemed like you were going to either collapse or punch Felix, Beomgyu had rushed out.
“Let’s talk about it in the morning shall we ?” Beomgyu asks you.
“No I want to know” you insist trying to get up but Beomgyu pushes you back down again.
“It’s not-“ he starts when you grab hold of his hand.
“Please” you say softly.
Beomgyu stops for a moment and looks at you. “Well, that asshole walked off after you fainted. Told me to get you out of there” he mutters and looks at you again.
If his hands weren’t filled with you, Beomgyu was sure he’d have punched Felix in the face. The man had literally given him a once over and had walked back to the party without a second thought as if he had rid himself of some burden.
Your lips wobble a bit before fresh tears fill your eyes again. You cover your face with your arm and try to keep the sounds in. Betrayal and hurt courses through you and you feel exhausted.
Felix and you, you weren’t perfect for each other but you had grown up together. There was a comfort between you two and an ease in knowing how the other one works. You didn’t know how it all went wrong. Felix would often tell you about how suffocated the town made him feel, so you felt happy for him when he finally got his chance to leave for the city. You still remember the promises he had made, of taking you with him and living together. If you tried hard enough, you could still feel the ghost of his lips on yours.
The Felix you saw today, you didn’t recognise him anymore. But what made it hurt more was the realisation of how out of love he seemed with you. You had gotten used to his words and the made up face of him inside your head that the actual reality made your world crumble down.
You feel the bed beside you dip and Beomgyu takes you into his arms. You lean in to his chest and cry freely as he runs his hands through your hair. You no longer know what you are crying for, you just know you couldn’t hold it anymore.
“He doesn’t deserve you” Beomgyu murmurs holding you close as sobs take over you. Beomgyu wishes he could take over your hurt and make it all right but he doesn’t know what more to say to you. You didn’t deserve a guy like him. If Beomgyu could give you every good thing in life and make it all okay for you, he’d exchange his life for it.
But, he doesn’t say anything. Beomgyu holds you as you cry and break apart in his arms.
-
“I can’t believe you are rubbing your snot onto my fresh suit” he mutters, “You are going to cry yourself sick”
You wipe away the last of the tears and lean away from him. “Shut up” you say thickly.
Beomgyu looks down at your red and puffy eyes and his heart hurts a little more. It’s almost midnight and he doesn’t know what to do from now on.
You slowly get up from the bed and Beomgyu catches hold of your hand. “Where are you going off to ?” He asks.
“To change Genius” you tell him. “You should also clean up” you add.
“As Snotty commands” Beomgyu tells you and you hit him with a pillow before walking into the bathroom.
-
“Are you asleep ?” You whisper at Beomgyu.
The both of you were lying on the bed while the moonlight filtered in through the windows. You had propped up a pillow between you two to avoid anymore unnecessary touches and tangled limbs.
“No” Beomgyu mutters after a little while, when you were sure he had slept.
“Beomgyu” you call his name softly turning to your side to face him. The pillow sits in between and you hug it to yourself.
“What is it?” Beomgyu murmurs. His eyes are closed but you can tell he is listening.
“What will you do now ?” You ask him softly.
Beomgyu sighs and then turns to look at you. “Shouldn’t I be the one asking that question ?”
You shrug and wait for him to answer.
“I’ve made arrangements to you know-“ he stops and looks at you. Beomgyu feels guilty to admit this, but he had met Freddy at the wedding tonight. Totally not planned, but he saw Freddy among a couple of other merchers and Beomgyu knew he couldn’t avoid him forever. He had given his word to hand over the chain by the next day. He just has to get the contract out of the way and wait for Taehyun’s reply. But, Beomgyu hadn’t anticipated this turn of events. He had been wondering about how to ask you back for the chain, but the time never felt right.
“-sell the chain ?” You finish his sentence for him and Beomgyu looks at you with something like shame. You smile at him.
“I figured” you tell him and Beomgyu nods his head at you. “Thank you” you tell him softly.
“Don’t go emotional on me now” Beomgyu mutters and you turn away from him to stare back at the ceiling.
“Couldn’t you have got us some blankets too?” You ask him, half jokingly. The cold seeps in through your (Beomgyu’s) tshirt and you curl up in to yourself to keep warm.
You hear him sigh and feel the pillow being knocked away.
“Here” Beomgyu says wrapping you up in his arms. “What would you do without me Genius ?”
“Weren’t you the one being weird about sharing a bed?” You mutter snuggling into his chest. He is so warm and sturdy that it calms you down. You try not to think too much. You were just keeping each other warm. That’s all.
“Shh” he murmurs and his voice is thick with sleep.
You close your eyes as dreams tug you into their world.
-
Beomgyu watches your sleeping form. You fit into his arms like you were made for them. The soft sighs you made and the way you held onto his shirt with one hand, just everything about you made him feel warm. But he had to go now. Make arrangements.
Beomgyu slowly pried you off of him, putting up the pillow next to you. You mumble something incoherent before hugging the pillow and going back to sleep. Beomgyu thinks for a moment before leaning in and kissing your forehead. You smile in your sleep, snuggling closer to the pillow and Beomgyu’s heart feels full.
Letting you go. He can’t even think about being away from you. But, life had its ways. Beomgyu wishes he had more time and more things to say to you. Now, doesn’t seem like the right time and place to say those things. He wonders if he’d ever get his chance to confess.
Getting up Beomgyu leaves you a little note before stepping outside the room.
-
It’s noon by the time you wake up, sunlight filtering in through the curtains. You feel well rested after a long time. Beomgyu had apparently left the room and you wonder what you’d do today.
Putting on your overalls, you notice the chain by the bedside table. You think of leaving it in the room, but something in you makes put it in your pocket. You could go to the church today. The wedding would be over by now. Just to see things through.
The town seemed to have come down from its celebratory high. Your stomach rumbles a bit but you use the last of your money to buy a piece of bread. You wolf it down hungrily, making your way over the church.
As you had thought, it’s empty. The party seemed to have left and only an old lady was there, sweeping away the grounds. You make your way over to her.
“Is it over ?” You ask her and she looks at you.
“They all left” she tells you, continuing her sweeping. You look back into the church. So that’s it. He is gone. Without even so much as a word of acknowledgement to you, Felix was gone. You wait a moment to see how you felt, surprised at the relief coursing through you.
The man Felix had become, you know deep down is someone you’d never be able to love or trust again. Even on your way here, you had known that things would end this way. You had your answer now. Things had seemed like they ended a long while ago between you two and you were tired of being the only one trying to chase what little of it was left.
What to do ? Where to go now ?
-
Making your way back to the inn, you see a few men stand outside the fence talking to themselves. Not thinking too much of it, you make your way into the small building climbing up the stairs. Beomgyu might be home by now. He had no idea about where you were gone and you didn’t want him to think you were missing or worse, had taken off with the chain.
You do a double take when you reach the hallway. There were more men outside your room and one among them, the man from the train. Alarm bells go off in your head. This was not good. You didn’t know why they were here but they had no business going through your room.
You back up a bit but accidentally trip a little and as you try to balance yourself, you catch the attention of the man. “Her- Catch her, she is with him” he shouts at the other burly men and you make a run for it.
Running down the stairs you trip on the last step but force yourself to get up, trying to outrun the men behind you. You dash outside the inn, the men by the fence alerted to your presence. You had no way out.
Thinking quickly you run towards the sea behind the inn. There had to be something you could do. You didn’t know who the men were but they seemed to be after your chain. You run as fast as you could. You felt lightheaded from hunger and just plain exhaustion but you didn’t allow yourself to slow down.
A bridge. A bridge connected the little town to the other side and you hurry towards it. The pants behind you were getting closer and you knew they’d be on you in minutes.
“Stop” they shout behind you. But you keep running. “Stop before I shoot” that makes you slow down and one of them catches hold of you, turning you around, you pry yourself out of his grip biting down on his arm and he yells out, letting you go.
Taking the chain out of your pocket, you hold it out to the sea, “Get any closer and I’ll fling it” you gasp out at the men and they stand still, looking at each other, not knowing what more to do. You try desperately to catch your breath. Where the hell was Beomgyu ?
You stand with your arm outstretched towards the sea as a couple more men make their way towards you. They look a lot more dignified. The man from the train is among them. You take in their coats with their chains and watches. Merchers, you realise.
The one in front, handsome with shoulder length hair and an expression of complete ease steps a little towards you as you lean more over the bridge.
“I will fling it” you repeat and he holds up his hands in defence, staying rooted to his spot.
“The chain in your hand, it belongs to me” the man tells you coldly. You had figured out as much. But the chain, it was Beomgyu’s only escape. His light. Beomgyu would have escaped all of this a lot sooner, if you hadn’t forced him to come with you. You’d rather die than lose his chain.
“If you throw the chain, you’ll be arrested by the stadwatch and you don’t need me to tell you how that’d go, do you ?” Jeonghan tells you. He seems completely sure of himself.
“What was the little thief thinking ? Stealing from me. I thought he was smarter than the rest of them” Jeonghan says mostly to himself than to you. You on the other hand think hard about what to do. You’ve run out of tricks.
“Hand over the chain now girl. You are smart, hand it over and I’ll let you walk free” Jeonghan tells you, hands in his pockets. You shake your head, no.
“You’ll have to kill me, before you take it” you tell him and Jeonghan barks out a laugh.
“All that for a thief ?” He asks you with amusement.
“He is not a thief” you say, thinking about Beomgyu. “He is the kindest, nicest man I’ve ever met in my life” you whisper almost. You think back to yesterday night, Beomgyu’s arms around you. The way he had taken care of you this entire time.
“He stole my chain and unless you have anything better to offer to me, I don’t wish to waste any more of my time” Jeonghan tells you checking his nails.
“Don’t you also, have an indebtedness you have to repay?” You ask him and Jeonghan’s expression hardens. “He saved your child, didn’t he ?” You ask him quietly.
Jeonghan watches you for a moment. He hadn’t thought you’d put up this much of a fight. You were right. He did have a debt to repay to Beomgyu.
“Give me the chain and I won’t press any charges on him” Jeonghan tells you but you still look doubtful, “It’s my word” he says.
“Beomgyu’s life depends on this” you almost plead with him “I can’t give it to you and walk back empty handed. It’s just a chain, Sir and you have many” you tell him wishing for some kindness.
Jeonghans expression softens just a little. “It’s not about the chain, girl. It’s about the standard I’d be setting if I let him get away with this. If he walks away free, what’s not stopping the entire city from taking away my treasures ?”
You didn’t know what more to say. What more to do. Time was running out. You slowly bring back the chain touching it to your neck. It had been with you for so long, it almost felt like your own.
“I could offer you something in return” you tell the Mercher, looking up at him. Jeonghan tilts his head and looks at you coolly.
“I have a few shares and a portion of a ranch in my name” you tell him, willing yourself to sound stronger than how you felt inside. “I will transfer it to your name in return for this chain” you say and you see Jeonghan considering this.
“And where is this ranch?” He asks you, in a not interested manner but you can tell he is slightly hooked.
“Asbalt” you reply and you see his eyes widen ever so slightly. Asbalt was known for its agriculture. God’s land people would call it. The ranch was the only thing in your possession, handing it over the Mercher, would be like signing your death certificate.
“It still wouldn’t be enough to pay for the chain” Jeonghan says. How much did this darn thing cost ?
“It’s all I have to offer” you reply defeated, clutching the chain to your chest.
“I’m in need of an accountant though” he tells you, the barest of smiles playing on his lips.
-
It’s evening by the time you trudge up to the inn. The contracts had taken you a long time. Beomgyu is on you the minute you enter into the room. He takes hold of your shoulders and takes in your appearance. Beomgyu had been worried sick when you hadn’t turned up for hours and the chain was missing and he hated himself for assuming the worst.
“Where have you been ?” He asks you giving your shoulder a rough shake “Can’t you like a leave a note or something when you leave ? Or are you that stupid ?”
“I- I just, I went to see the church” you say, you are not exactly lying. Beomgyu let’s go off your shoulder and you sit down on the bed. Events of the day run around in your head and you don’t know what to tell Beomgyu.
“Why?” Beomgyu asks.
“To see through the end of it I guess” you say lying down and closing your eyes.
“Where’s my chain?” Beomgyu asks and something about his tone pisses you off. You crack an eye open at him and he is leaning over you.
“Is that all that’s important to you ?” You ask him getting up to your elbows and looking into his eyes.
“Yes” he says with a firm tone but you see his eyes shift down to the floor.
“Nothing else matters ?” You press.
“What’s up with you ?” He asks you. Answering a question with a question and it angers you more.
You continue looking at him and Beomgyu hesitantly meets your eyes. “What else do you want me to say?” He asks you and you think you hear pain in his voice.
“What about me ? Do I mean nothing to you?” You ask him quietly and Beomgyu looks at you sharply.
Yes, he answers in his head. Beomgyu hadn’t planned on any of this. His plans and his life were simpler without you in it. Beomgyu hated how you made him feel, like if he asked you, you might just become his. But, he can’t. Not right now. He had a deal to settle. Things to get back and you would be out of place in his life. You deserved better.
“Give me the chain Y/N, I don’t have the time for all this melodrama” Beomgyu tells you.
You throw the chain onto the floor and Beomgyu picks it up. You pick up your bag and Beomgyu watches you as you stuff your things inside it.
“What are you doing ?” He asks you.
“Leaving” you say. The emptiness you feel inside is swallowing you whole. You feel sick and tired.
“Don’t be stupid, where will you go ?” Beomgyu asks you, his tone rough and it’s the final straw for you.
“I DONT FUCKING KNOW” you scream throwing the bag down. Tears stream down your face and wipe away at them furiously. “I DONT KNOW BUT DONT WORRY I WON’T BE A BOTHER ANYMORE” you clutch your head in your hands.
Beomgyu takes a step back, a little shocked. He slowly makes his way over to you, gently removing your hands from your face and taking you into his arms. You sob onto his shoulder for a few minutes before pushing him off.
“No, you can’t- not again” you gasp. You were sick of people leading you on and then abandoning you.
“Y/N, calm down” he tells you placing a hand on your shoulder which you shake off.
“No, I don’t need you telling me to calm down” you say, pushing the hair out of your face.
“Are you hungry ?” Beomgyu asks you and the ridiculousness of the question almost makes you laugh. Almost.
You close your eyes and take in a deep breath, clearing your head a little. You open them to find Beomgyu watching you.
“What really happened ?” He asks you softly and you look at him. His face, his eyes, his voice it’s all become such a familiar sight to you. You lean forward and wrap your arms around him. Beomgyu waits a moment before hugging you to him. Something went wrong, it’s all he can understand.
“Can you drop me off at the station ?” You ask after a few moments, letting him go but Beomgyu’s hands stay on your waist. He looks at you in confusion.
“But where will you go ?” He asks you.
“Home” you reply.
-
The train rumbles into view. Beomgyu and you had been waiting at the station for almost an hour now. You both hadn’t talked much, the weight of separation hanging heavy in the air. Beomgyu didn’t know what to say or what more to ask of you and you, you tried. You tried to get him to say something, anything but he had brushed off your advances. Maybe it’d all be for the best, you try convincing yourself.
Getting up, Beomgyu picks up your bag and watches you as you get on the train. He wants to pull you into a hug and never let you go, but now wouldn’t be the right time. He would not be good enough for you. Beomgyu hands you over the bag and you take it, looking at him, giving him another chance but he looks away. You put it over your shoulder and smile at him. Beomgyu slowly smiles back at you.
“Goodbye Idiot” you say, your voice cracking a bit at the end.
“Bye” Beomgyu whispers as the train begins moving, taking you away and his heart breaks, little by little the further you get away.
-
The deal was done. Freddy had paid him the amount in return for the chain and the cheque sits inside his breast pocket. You were gone.
Beomgyu waits on his own, inside the coach. The train doesn’t leave for another hour, but he doesn’t know what else to do in town. He is richer, enough to pay off the debts, Taehyun and Kai would be waiting for him. The train would take him to the city. It’ll be a new life for him from now on. Without you.
Beomgyu tries justifying letting you go, to himself. He’d never be good enough for you. What is he anyway ? Nothing more than a thief and a liar. You don’t deserve someone like him, he tells himself. Beomgyu closes his eyes but thoughts of you keep haunting him. Your smile, the way you fit perfectly into his arms, Beomgyu misses your voice the most. The constant banter and the slight tease and affection in it. He is free from debt, but at what cost?
“Fancy seeing you here Choi” a familiar singsong voice breaks him out of his thoughts.
Jeonghan slides down to the seat next to him and Beomgyu sits up straighter, a chill running through him. What was he doing here ? Beomgyu tries to not show his nervousness.
“Free aren’t you now ? All that money in your pocket…” Jeonghan chuckles at Beomgyu’s startled expression.
“How?” Beomgyu manages to choke out.
Jeonghan pulls out the chain from his pocket. “You are clever, but not clever enough to get the better off me”
“Freddy” Beomgyu starts and then stops. Of course Freddy was Yoon Jeonghan’s man, but why would he let Beomgyu walk free if he knew the chain was stolen ?
“It’s the girl’s big heart that saved you Choi. All that for a sneak like you” Jeonghan tsks.
“What?”
“Surely, you are not stupid enough to believe I’d just let you walk away free. It’s her money and her promise that keeps you safe for now” Jeonghan gets up from his seat, adjusting his suit, while Beomgyu watches him trying to understand what happened. Jeonghan strikes hard across his face and Beomgyu clutches his cheek in pain, tasting blood. “But, if you ever mess with my things again, nothing and no angel on Earth will be able to save you”
As the Mercher walks away Beomgyu slowly realises how much of a fool he had been.
-
The water laps at your feet as you stare out at the sunset. You miss his presence by your side, but you push that thought away, trying to still your heart. Work, for you, began in a week. It’s the price you had to pay for Beomgyu’s freedom. But, it wouldn’t be so bad you think. Jeonghan isn’t someone you should mess with, but you could tell the Mercher was a man of his word.
You watch as fishes leap around in the water, old memories spend here by the lake resurfacing. Would Beomgyu figure it out ? You wonder to yourself. The water had begun to calm down, fewer and fewer movements across it and you try flicking a stone across it, the way he had taught you.
One skip, two skips-
“Oi” the voice brings the air in you to a hault. You take in a breath watching the stone sink in, before turning around to see him, standing there with his hands shoved deep into his pockets.
A thousand emotions rush through you at the sight of him, but the one that demands all your attention is how much you missed seeing his stupidly pretty face. Beomgyu looks mad as hell as he watches you.
“I had nowhere else to go” you say, looking at him. His mom hadn’t asked too many questions, just hugging you tightly against her and bringing you in.
“How much more of an Idiot, could you be ?” He asks you, anger evident in his voice.
“It’s the least I could do” you tell him. It’s the truth.
“What are you ? A saint ?” He huffs out and you crack a smile at him.
Beomgyu looks at you intensely and you take a step towards him while he takes a step back. “I won’t let you go, if you come any nearer to me” he calls out in warning.
You look at him and take another step, stopping there. “I thought you didn’t believe in Saints” you answer in return.
He starts walking towards you and then breaks into a run. Reaching you, Beomgyu picks you up, twirling you around in his arms while you hold onto his shoulder for dear life. Bringing you down, Beomgyu hugs you tightly against him.
“You, idiot” he mutters and you look up at him and then he is kissing you. Softly nudging his lips against yours and you slowly let him. Beomgyu presses you flush against his body, his hand firmly on your waist while his other guides your head towards his lips. The kiss gets rougher and Beomgyu bites your lip, making you gasp and pull away. You hit his chest but Beomgyu continues kissing your face, your neck any inch of skin he could find.
“Mine” he whispers roughly in your ear. “You are all mine”
You place your hands on his chest, feeling his heartbeat behind your fingers. “I thought you wanted someone like Park Bo-young” you tell him.
“She is nothing compared to you” he tells you and you roll your eyes and Beomgyu’s eyes harden at the action.
“Come home with me and I’ll make you roll your eyes for something better” he tells you and your cheeks redden.
“You assume an awful lot, Choi” you tease.
“I’m never letting you walk away from me” Beomgyu tells you, cupping your cheeks and pressing another kiss onto you. “I’m sorry for being such a big Idiot” he murmurs.
“You can’t help it” you say in a matter of fact tone and Beomgyu flicks your forehead, before kissing you there and you rest your head against his chest while Beomgyu wraps his arms around you.
“How many years ?” He asks quietly.
“Three” you whisper and he hugs you tighter. “But it’s going to be okay” you tell him looking up at him.
“He called you an angel” Beomgyu tells you and you giggle a little.
“My angel”
-
There is no hint of playfulness in his face as he leans over you now.
“Your mother might hear” you whisper, holding Beomgyu back by his shoulders.
“You’ve got to stay quiet then, don’t you sweetheart ?” He teases you with the nickname.
“Hmm, I liked the princess one more” you say, pretending to think and Beomgyu rolls his hips against you making you gasp.
“Yeah ? My Princess huh ?” He murmurs taking in your face as he pounds in deeper. You cover your mouth, trying to hold in the moans but Beomgyu is not having any of it, knocking your hands away and replacing it with his fingers.
You suck on them, looking up at him and it drives him crazier, his thrusts getting more frantic.
“Mine, all mine” he growls in your ear as you roll your eyes back in pleasure, just the way he had promised.
“I-I’m close” you whisper into his ear and Beomgyu groans against you, slowing his movements and looking at you.
“Noo” you whine out, tears pricking at your eyes. He is still hard and Beomgyu takes in your fucked out expression, twitching inside you.
“Not so easily, sweetheart” he tells you slowly moving again and you moan again, the sound music to his ears.
“Please” you cry and Beomgyu picks up the pace, kissing your neck and chest, his hands fondling with your breast.
“Tell me you are mine” he rasps, his voice sending shivers across you, building up your orgasm.
“I-fuck Gyu- I’m yours” you cry out.
Beomgyu bites down on your neck as you both come together. He shifts away from you to not suffocate you, pulling out slowly as you try to catch your breath.
Beomgyu leans over and kisses your forehead, touching your cheek gently and you look up to see him smiling cheekily at you. He begins to move away when you catch hold of his hand, kissing the back of it.
“You are mine too, alright ?” You tell him softly, your eyes filling up.
“Duh” he replies kissing your lips. “Don’t cry again, stupid” Beomgyu tells you, getting up.
He comes back to clean you up, bringing his tshirt for you. Beomgyu holds you against him, running his hands through your hair and your eyes feel heavy with sleep.
“You deserve so much more Y/N” Beomgyu whispers and you look at him.
“Shh” you place a finger on his lips and he kisses it making you smile.
“It’s true. You deserve someone better than me but-“ he moves your finger away bringing you closer to him “I’m going to try. Try and be that someone for you. I hope you give me that chance, to make myself a better man. For you”
You blink and look at him for a few seconds.
“Don’t you dare make a joke” he tells you.
“I’m trying hard not to” you whisper and he grins. You kiss at his whisker dimples making him blush and you snuggle closer to him.
-
EPILOGUE
A long haired boy sits opposite you, his feet propped up on the table dozing away in the afternoon heat. Your office is the tiniest of them all, but Beomgyu had managed to fit himself into it, surprisingly well.
Yesseo, visited you every once in a while bringing in the news from Asbalt. Your family had slowly started accepting your new life and you couldn’t wait to introduce Beomgyu to them. Beomgyu’s mom on the other hand, constantly send you letters and little gifts which made you flustered and Beomgyu teased you to no end about it, but you knew it made him happy.
Kai continued fooling around with Yuma, while Taehyun had somehow managed to get into work with Jihoon. You all would meet occasionally at the slats, which Beomgyu had managed to convert into a little house for you to stay in, with the money left.
He made sure, you knew you were his too. Marks and bites often showing through your collared blouses. Living kisses before he left for work. Beomgyu would visit your office too, randomly whenever he wished to, like now. But never, when Jeonghan was around. Beomgyu knew better than that.
You had your blackouts every once in a while, but Beomgyu was always beside you, bringing you back and making sure to let you know that things were okay. Letting you catch your breath and easing the anxiety just a little.
It had taken a lot of convincing on your part for Jeonghan to take in Beomgyu as a broker, your final point being that it’s better to have Beomgyu on his side rather than against him. The Mercher had a soft spot for you despite everything that happened, giving you a decent salary despite you being in his debt.
As seagulls fly outside, you feel a peace settle in, one which you haven’t felt in months.
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