thanks for checking in im still a piece of garbage

kristY

[buzzfeed]

[mjzgsz3jmq]

absolutely mad lads

[hotvampireadjacent]

absolute ledges

[bob-belcher]

[keatonpatti]

[lindsaychrist]

adele came from such a humble background bless her

[gothcostco]

not to be too millennial but

no money

[celanon]

no house

[clst]

just avocado

[threebigolsausages-deactivated2]

my shoplifting haul

a grape: like 0.01 or something

TWO free samples: 0.00, but going back for a second one was definitely anti-capitalist

smiling at a cashier and getting a smile back: priceless :)

[whomst]

Every horse movie

Sarah aynn: “no one understands me I hate you Mom for making us move out here in the middle of no where there’s not even cute boys” *runs away and finds mysterious farm* Old man wilkinson: “this right here lil lady is a hourisey if yer can tame t it’s yoires if not it’s goin back to the horse factory” Sarsjh: *walks up to horse and starts to pet its nose* “see girl? You and me aren’t so different after all” Old man wonka: “why I don’t believe it she done tamed ol’ misery I reckon she ought to sign her up for the horuse show and save the farm” *cut scene of Sarah sneaking out the house to ride her horse everyday until her mom finds out* Mom: “young lady you are GROUNDED!!!! You are not allowed to compete in the horse show” Staryah: “no Mom please” *runs away and almost gets hit by car but then the horse pushes the car out the way" Mom: “fucjkfidnb maybe that’s a good horse after all”

[thebootydiaries]

[narcissistictaako-blog]

tfw you’re a millenial but you don’t like avocado

[thebootydiaries]

[flacomexicano-deactivated201806]

i’m a grower not a show-er what do this mean u might ask? means my peepee dumb small when it’s soft but when i get hard my shit bigger than your feet anyway the upside to this? no one ever expects how big i get when i’m hard it’s like “dam i ain’t even notice u got a big ass dick boy” the downside? if i get pantsed in public i immediately have to start jacking off before i pull my pants back up in order to get hard if not everyone will think i’m packing chicken nugget when in reality im not vegan but i brought the cucumber with me

[theawesomeadventurer]

why is this formatted like a poem

[theycallmebigpussy]

Because it is one

[iamthebestby2ne1]

[onlytwitterpics]

[weavemama]

[richist-deactivated20150511]

I have bullshitted my way through almost two decades of life

[collegiate-confession]

[shounenchild]

THETA APPLE PIE

[etica]

[strayastoner]