Kori

💕I'm Kori!!! 18+ NB (AFAB) Pan💕 NSFW heavy (also kinks/fetishes) "boy toy ride me like an Uber, boy toy suck me like a hoover" Multi-fandom 🥹💖

[kschlatt1998]

Hiii!!! I'm Kori!!

💕21💕

💕he/they/zim/gir💕Pan & NB💕

💖Type one diabetic💖

THIS ACCOUNT IS STRICTLY 18+

💖He is mine and I am his. THAT IS ALL. I WILL BARK OVER THAT BEAR MAN RAAAAAA💖

I've been very fixated on JSchlatt recently (if you couldn't tell), but I also enjoy shows and anime like Supernatural, Death Note, Beastars etc.

More of them can be found in the tags in this post 💕💕💕

Please remember to be kind to me, and others pages when viewing. Thank you for taking the time to read 🥹💖

[pandawasbored]

happy :)

[xx-r0t-dot-com-xx]

every time i remember they buried L in JAPAN in an UNMARKED GRAVE and its IN JAPAAN HE DOESNT EVEN FUCKING LIVE THERE he was there for LESS THAN A YEAR just to WORK THE KIRA CASE and his grave is UNMARKED anonymous even in death never ever ever getting the chance to really claim his identity ohhh i just lose my damn miiinnddd

[kittydealer]

u/differentlifer

[rightlessdestiny]

[kittydealer]

u/differentlifer

[rightlessdestiny]

[leviathan2nevada]

SCHLATT DATING HEADCANONS

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆ 𓏲ּ𝄢 ⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

jschlatt x reader (gender neutral), no use of y/n, sfw

1. HEIGHT DYNAMICS

- if you are shorter than him, don’t worry, schlatt enjoys being the tallest in the relationship, something about the way he gets to hold you, hug you or bend down to kiss your cheek. he loves it. he enjoys being able to get stuff from shelves for you, even if you couldve reached it yourself. it also calls for his nicknames although they can be a little condescending, his personal favourites are: “little love” “bud” “bub” “my little guy/ girl” “squirt” “tiny” “shortstack”.

- if you are taller, he wouldn’t mind too much, he’ll insist your height never bothered him yet he’ll take advantage of it and make you grab something from the top shelf because you’re “already up there” how much taller can you be than 6’3 anyway? If you rest your chin on his head he’ll complain dramatically for a while but he wont even move his head. He’ll tease you with some mocking nicknames like “telephone pole” “empire state”. In group photos, he may try to stand somewhere where he might appear taller, and in the same breath, when someone points out the height difference, he’ll claim “it’s the camera angle”. he’ll also comment on the shoes you wear, not even in a mad way, he’ll just tease you for trying to look taller than you already are, “do you really need that?”

- if you are around the same height, a little bit a combination. With an addition of him insisting hes “taller by a few inches”, he’ll also straighten up by doorways and see who brushes the top first. When measuring each other, he’ll question the accuracy unless it’s in his favor, and he’ll question his friends’ judgment if they arent in his favor either. As for taking things off shelves, it becomes a double effort, and hugs are very comfortable as youre close in height. Nicknames depend on who looks slightly taller or shorter

2. PERSONALITY

INTROVERTED

- if you are more of a homebody, he wouldn’t mind too much, he’d run most errands for you, and if you needed to come, he’d be right behind you. Incase you had problems with interaction, he’d do the interactions for you, he has a way with words anyway.

but if you did however like going outside, he’d encourage you to do as you like. Quiet parks, small walks, hangouts, he’d encourage that. Even though you’re out with people, you may not wanna talk as much, which is fine, thats what he’s there for.

- his streams are not supposed to make you uncomfortable, your boundaries are very important and he NEEDS to make sure you’re alright with anything. if you’re not happy with showing your face in videos, you don’t have to. If you don’t want to be brought up, you wont be.

if he somehow is able convince you to join his bits, he’d do it in a respectful manner. “Come on beautiful/handsome, it’ll be funny.” “You don’t have to talk.”

your role in his videos would be as small as you desire, either to rile his chat up or to play into his character. but he’d never give you a role you’re uncomfortable with

- around close friends, he’ll intentionally play around with you and poke at you, just to get a rise at you (unless you’re uncomfortable).

he hypes you up before social events so you’d be comfortable enough when arriving there

but he’ll enjoy seeing you open up to others, though he likes to mess with you by behaving jealous. “are you kidding? him? what about me?” “so you’re talking around him not me? whats the deal with that?”

when you dont wanna socialise anymore, he wont force you to. He’ll try not to keep you too long and will do all the talking until you leave

- hes very protective of you, he wouldnt tolerate anyone saying any insult towards you, though to avoid attention he wouldnt do it publicly unless absolutely necessary. he of all people would know what insult’s playful and what insult’s malicious

EXTROVERTED

- if you liked being home, he wouldn’t force you out nor would he try to make you act more quiet, he loves you the way you are. He’d do the errands for you, unless you wanted to come along. He wouldn’t mind that either. He just also wouldn’t allow you to stay at home 24/7 when he knows you want to go out sometimes.

though if you liked going outside, he’d always find a way to make up some plans for you. “we’re going out, shoes on.” You two would know everyone, so you’d always be in a conversation with someone, he loves introducing you to friends and shows you off, he encourages you to join social events with him even though he wouldn’t be caught dead there had you not been with him. He keeps conversations going for you, and when he doesn’t want to, he lets you do the talking

- as for his streams, you’d have to state your opinion on that very firmly. If you wanna be seen, he’ll let you, you want to be directly mentioned? he’ll call you. He’s not very open about his love life but if you didn’t mind, he wouldn’t make a fuss.

Sometimes you make a cameo in the back of his videos, sometimes you’re a direct mention, not to worry, his fans love you. “And here’s the one you all love the most.” “Come say hi sweetheart, they love you more than me.”

- around close friends, you’re almost stuck together like glue when you’re able. whether it be at hang outs, vlogs or game nights.

he’s very big on celebrating your small milestones, with a group outing or surprise, he’d only do the same for himself if he knew you were coming.

he has a habit of making sure everyone’s laughing but always having his eyes on you to ensure you’re having just as much fun.

he remembers a lot about you and will bring it up unless it’s embarrassing to you and you do NOT wanna hear about it again

he’s very attentive and will notice when you’re getting exhausted before you even do

he hypes you up before social events to build your confidence and LOVES to brag about you

3. PERSONALIZATION

- long distance or short distance relationship doesn’t exactly matter to him, but if its possible he’d prefer a short distance one.

he prefers being able to reach you, or even live in the same place together.

if you live far away, he’d visit your place once or twice a month, he tries not to make you the one to visit him but he also LOVES when you’re by him.

his place has an extra bedroom for you, its very comfortable and personalized for you

- no matter your height, he prefers to be the big spoon no matter what. Maybe a negotiation can be made if you’re very tall, but if you’re way smaller then just give it up.

he prefers being the big spoon, because he gets to snuggle his face into your hair or neck, his chest against your back, hands around you.

hes also a pretty difficult person to pry yourself away from if he’s deep in sleep. youd have to spend 5 extra minutes getting yourself out and then he’d simply wake up and bring you back to bed gently.

- i dont think he’d mind whether you’re on the bigger side or the smaller side.

- he loves colognes, perfumes and fragrances, he loves the way you smell.

- if you have unhealthy habits, smoking, drinking, doing drugs, etc. he wouldn’t encourage you at all, he’d try to get you to limit yourself. If you’re careful with it, he’s not going to fight with you over what you like. If it reaches to a point you may harm yourself doing them, he WILL limit it. “Put that bottle down for me, will ya?” “I cant carry you home like that bub.” Another cig? Why would you ever wanna ruin that wonderful voice of yours?”

he could be a hypocrite but don’t call him out for it

smaller unhealthy habits like too much screen time can easily be limited, he’ll help you out with that and wont shame you for it.

- although he’s the dominant one in the relationship, he’s not very controlling over you. As long as you’re safe, you’re both happy, nobody’s hurt, who’s he to stop you?

He’s not very fond on open or poly relationships, so thats out of the question. He doesn’t hate poly people, he just doesn’t trust himself to be able to share his partner.

He makes jokes about being possessive and jealous and controlling, but if he ever felt that way truly, he’d make sure to have a mature conversation about it instead of blowing it extremely out of proportion.

- he’s great round kids, he’s an asshole to everyone but surprisingly nice to kids

- also, if you match his energy as a hyper person then you need to be ready for his playful insults and condescending comments.

If you’re too sweet for him, then he’ll lessen it down, dont expect it to be gone 100%, he’ll strike it where you cant catch it

- he prefers secluded dates and outside activities, but it really depends on what you want to do

- you have to AT LEAST tolerate cats, he’d try to find a way around it if you cant but you literally cant hate cats

if you have cats of your own, he’ll take really good care of them, and he’d even consider them “good friends” with jambo

- your culture matters to him, he’ll try and teach himself about your culture, maybe learn your language a little, try your food.

he’d also turn it into a nickname, depending on how well it slips off the tongue. (for example “my little german boy”)

he’d take you to your home country and home town to visit it for a while, or even take you to HIS home town so you’d get to experience it too

- he indulges in your hobbies a lot, even if he himself wouldn’t enjoy them, he just wants to see what makes you happy:

MUSIC

- if you are highly interested in music, he’d try getting into your favorite genres, buy you stuff needed and try to understand music as a whole

he’d be into jazz, american pop, classical music and british rock, but open to trying out your music taste as well

- he’d listen to your rants about music, and explanations on why a song is good, he sounds like he wasn’t paying attention but he either brings that same point up on stream or in a conversation with friends.

- he’d memorize your favorite artists, but he’d also try to tease you about your taste. buying vinyls, merch, cds and concert tickets.

- he’d make you a lot of playlists for you, mixture of songs that reminds him of you, mixture of songs you like, mixture of songs he likes

- if you played an instrument, he’d request songs for you to play and even record them

he’s a pretty damn good singer so if you ever needed someone to sing with, he’s your pick

on top of that, if you were a lyricist, even better. He’d gladly sing them for you to make sure you liked the way they sounded

- if you made music, he’d stream them, he has a lot of pride in you so he’d ALWAYS be listening to them if he could.

he’d promote you on his socials, he loves your music so he makes sure his fans overwhelm you with love.

ART

- if you are interested in art, he’d buy you supplies, look at your artwork, support you and teach himself about the history in art

- he acts like he doesn’t understand art and why people are interested in it but he always finds himself over analyzing your pieces

he also asks meaningful questions when you discuss art theory with him

if he needs art, you are who he comes to, if you’re unavailable, he commissions another artist

- if your sketchbook is missing, hes just proudly showing off your art to his friends and even to his stream.

your finished sketchbooks never get thrown away, if you don’t have them, he does

- his room is decorated with some of your art, he can see the beauty in it, who cares what others say.

- he tries to help with your art block, giving you plenty of ideas of what to draw, he gets very happy when you follow his little requests

he claims he’s not sentimental but he’d get a little upset if he loses a drawing you made

- he tries to convince you to open commissions and post your work online

- he volunteers to be a model for you, he does however do funny faces to mess with you

WRITING / READING

- if you were interested in writing or reading, it’d be a little easier for him, he seems like the kind of fella to like books anyway

for reading,

he’d have a lot of books, more about action, adventure, horror and etc. but he’d probably be into movies more than reading

- he enjoys quiet reading sessions, you maybe laying your head on his lap as you both read, he likes hearing you talk about it

- he likes debating stuff with you to hear your personal opinions and views

for writing

he’d love being the partner of a writer.

- he’d pretend he didn’t care about what you were writing but then ask you if you finished a certain chapter

- he volunteers unhelpful plot ideas and suggestions (he could’ve probably helped me write this but whatever)

his feedback would mostly be jokes but here and there he’d add on useful comments about the pacing or the dialogue

- if you experienced writer’s block, he’d take you out somewhere until you were mentally ready to go and tackle it again

- late night writing sessions, he’d be editing his videos while you write, occasionally asking how the writing is coming along

He’d tease you for getting emotional while writing certain scenes unless you were genuinely frustrated or doubting yourself, then he’s your biggest fan

he also goes ahead and brags about you to his friends because why wouldn’t he

COOKING

- if you were into cooking, he’d be thankful he wouldn’t have to rely on take out or dates too much

since you’d pack him homemade food sometimes, he might be a little picky about how he wants his food, you set the bar pretty high

- he’d ask to be a taste tester as an excuse to just eat your food before its even finished

he’d sample ingredients throughout the process but make sure theres enough for you to cook with

and he’d also joke he was helping by ensuring your food was to its best quality (maybe he should try being in the kitchen one of these days)

because he wants to be a taste tester so bad, you can make him eat your experimental recipes, the worse they taste, the funnier his reaction

- he LOVES your baked goods: bread, cake, cookies, pizza

god forbid he wants to take advantage of his personal chef, he’d gladly snatch up the goods even if he was told to wait

- you being into cooking means they dont have to go out and buy for people coming over

you get way more rest due to being the one cooking, you deserve it, what the hell did schlatt do other than take the food anyway

if you’re too stressed or tired to make food, he suggests takeout instead.

he also likes surprising you with your favorite dessert, pastries and lunches

- going grocery shopping is his favorite part, since you’d know exactly what you need, he’s basically just following you around, listening to you talk about what you need

yeah and he’d also throw a few snacks in there, whatever, at least he’s paying

- he’d show off the goods you made on stream, “my personal chef made these for me.” he’d tell his chat pretty vaguely

oh and of course he’s bragging about it to his friends because again why wouldn’t he

DRESSING UP / MAKEUP

- if you were interested in dressing and makeup, schlatt would gladly support you, he doesn’t know a damn thing about makeup so don’t expect too much out of him.

makeup

- you’d unfortunately have to explain contour, blush and bronzer multiple times to him, whether he remembers is a different story on its own

- even though he knows nothing about makeup, he’d notice when you try something different

- he’d question why you need a whole collection of products but would never complain, it makes you smile

- he’d definitely take a whole lot of photos of you, he thinks you’re very beautiful/handsome

the ones where you felt confident are especially his favorite

- if you do his makeup for fun, he’d groan about it but he’d give in eventually

dressing up

- he’d always question why you’re taking so long but he’d immediately understand once he saw you come out

- he’d hype you up in a pretty deadpan way. “Wow beautiful/handsome, you’re making the rest of us look bad.”

- he couldn’t help you at all if you asked which outfit he preferred without only offering “this outfit looks cool.” “that one fits better.” “you look nicer in this.”

If you were excited about a new outfit, he tries to match that excitement without being TOO excited.

- if someone insulted you, he’d shut it down with a fast sarcastic remark.

- shopping trips are basically him following you around and pointing to either the most DROP DEAD GORGEOUS outfit ever, or the most ridiculous one.

- he’d share photos of you to his friends because of how lovely he thinks you look, but he’d also make comments like “dont look too hard” “woah woah woah keep your compliments to yourself.” “thats mine”

SPORTS

- if you were interested in sports, he’d be your BIGGEST FAN.

- he’d show up to your games anytime he could, even if he was joking the whole drive there

he’d be the loudest supporter of yours, though mostly hidden behind sarcasm, he’s genuinely proud. “THATS MY MVP!”

- if you wanted to teach him your sport, he’d honestly try although he may complain a little

friendly competition is a huge thing for you two, he wants to WIN

- he also likes to watch competitions with you, even if you had to explain what happened.

- if you have early morning practices, he might complain about having to let you go, or your alarm but he’d wish you luck before you left.

- if you were excited after a win, he’d celebrate with you and insist on buying you something to celebrate with

- after a tough loss, he’d drop the jokes and just let you vent, and cry, he understands you’re frustrated.

- if you got an award or medal, he’d want to hang it somewhere you can always see it

- recovery days would be ordering food, watching something together or even letting you rest and sleep after training.

and of course he’ll still be bragging about you to his friends

GAMING

- now anyone knows gaming is schlatt’s strong suit, he’d be very compatible in this category.

- he’d ask you to play for “just an hour” knowing it’d turn into three

- if you didn’t know how to play a game, he’d give you wrong instructions just to get a rise out of you and then he’d give you the actual strategy

If he didnt know, he’d look it up just to surprise you

- co op games would easily turn competitive

If you beat him in a competitive game, he might get a little heated (obviously in a playful way) and might be salty about it for the next week

If you lose he might not let you live it down

- he enjoys playing cozy games with you and getting to relax with you

- if you wanna play without it being on stream he’d be perfectly fine with that

- and yeah he might talk about your performance with his stream or friends

STREAMING

- He’d love this because he’d be able to spend more time with you, but he’d also dislike parasocial fans

- assuming you have a lower following, he’d send his fans to go and say hi to your stream.

he’s very proud of you so of course he’d promote it as well

- whenever the two of you collaborated, the chats would go wild because you two are the best when together

- your chats would have a lot of inside jokes for the two of you

- he’d interrupt serious moments to make jokes here and there

unless they were VERY serious

- he would often send messages and donations in your chat, maybe as much as $50.00 just to get your attention

sometimes he’d even join under a mysterious accounts just to play around with you

- he watches your streams in his free time

- he makes up insane lore for the two of you, confusing your audience of whether you’re dating or not

- if you had a rough stream, he’d be very empathetic about it

__________________________________________

schlatt would prefer acts of service, words of affirmation and physical touch

he’d be very direct about his opinions but he’d make sure it’s not hurtful

he prefers private affection over public affection

he’d have a lot of pet names for you depending on what kind of person you are and small experiences you had together

he doesn’t require attention everyday but when he does, he wants a LOT of it

[schlovershub]

Cries like a baby

[schlovershub]

Schlatt.. I love you man but GOD bring back the glasses.

[ellieequinn]

Handsome

can we just talk about how fucking handsome Jschlatt is like this man should be in the sexy man alive magazine!

[schlanonymous]

I just love the shape of his nose

[slattlicker]

GAHHHHH I COMPLETELY AGREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE GRRRRR

i love the shape of his nose so so so much it just fits his face so well omg and it's like sharp and like arrow shaped?? if that makes sense, but also i really love the way it looks from specifically when he's facing slightly right and down? obviously, he looks good from every angle, but there is something about the way this angle hits his face that is just...so right. we get a little bit of jawline, the nose, his profile, the hair...maybe it's also just the angle we see of him The Most, so i'm just conditioned to like it as my favorite angle idk idk

i am also quite a big fan of the angles we get literally whenever he's tipping his head back to drink something. highly entertaining to me personally...................................every time i see schlatt drinking in a video/stream i get so hyped for the screenshots that come out of it lol

anyway. here's a fic about his nose bc. i can't hold myself back. and you all are my fellow maniacs so. this blog is literally the only place i can put this kind of stuff so shhhh this is my safe space

— vue

✧ ✧ ✧

╭﹐✦˚₊· 𖤐 scent-imental ⋆.ೃ࿔:･ ╮ imagine: applewood smoke, bourbon barrels, and somehow ending up more obsessed with his nose than the whisky ╰﹒♡₊˚๑ *✧﹒✦ ࣪ ˖ ┊

word count: ~5.5K (?)

﹒₊✦ a/n: this one's just soft — no angst, no drama, just two idiots at a bar racking up a bill ✧ do you guys have a preference whether i have my fics all lowercase or is regular sentence case okay?? idk i feel like just switching up based on vibes...

warnings: fluff, banter, established relationship, tipsy tasting notes, one (1) nose kink (???) discovery

enjoy!!!! ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა

✧ ✧ ✧

the place had been schlatt's idea.

you'd barely made it halfway through your first paycheck celebration before he'd shoved his phone in your face, pointing enthusiastically at a video of a bartender filling a glass with smoke before pouring whisky into it.

"it looks stupid," he'd declared.

"it does."

"we should go."

so, naturally, here you were.

it was nicer than either of you had expected. not pretentious—thank god—but quiet in the comfortable sort of way. warm lights, old wood, low music. the kind of bar where nobody seemed interested in talking over one another, content to let the glasses clink and the jazz music in the background do most of the work.

"i've decided," schlatt says, interrupting the ambiance. "that if this doesn't change my life, i'm asking for a refund."

you laughed. "for the drink?"

"for the experience."

"you sound like a seventy-year-old man, schlatt."

"i feel like a seventy-year-old man after seeing the price."

"you bought them, though."

"i know." he sighed dramatically, patting his wallet through his back pocket as though checking it was still alive. "but if it's good... i'll do it again. a stupid amount of times. every night for a month, probably."

"you absolutely will. i'm gonna have to physically restrain you from coming back tomorrow."

"you wouldn't be able to. i'd run you over so easily."

"with your body or with your car?"

"does it really matter? you're ending up flattened on the sidewalk either way, baby."

you reached over, nudging his shoulder until he looked at you. "i know your credit card information, you know."

"..."

"and your banker."

schlatt frowned. "...you do not know my banker."

"i will call stacy."

schlatt gasps. "no! how do you know my banker!?"

you cackle deviously. "i have my ways, babe."

"...fine," schlatt relented with an exaggerated sigh. "every night for a week, then."

"no."

"every friday."

"no."

"the first friday of every month."

you folded your arms. "no."

his face pinched into the sort of deeply offended expression.

"you don't sound like you support my hobbies, toots."

"your hobby can't cost thirty dollars a glass, big guy."

"it absolutely can."

"it absolutely cannot."

"i am self made! i'm rich, baby! all i have to do is believe in myself and do a little work and i could afford anything in this life."

"you believing in yourself is exactly what worries me. that feels like a first step to an elaborate, evil scheme that i, as your partner, should shut down before it starts."

the bartender returned just then, the silver handle of the cloche pinched neatly between two fingers.

"i'll let the smoke settle just a touch longer," he said, smiling politely. "it'll round everything out."

"see?" schlatt said, immediately turning toward him. "he's on my side."

the bartender glanced between the two of you with the careful expression of someone realizing he'd accidentally wandered into the middle of a conversation.

"...about the whisky?"

"about my financial decisions."

a slight pause. then, with all the professionalism in the world, the bartender nodded once.

"i've seen people spend way more money on worse."

"there!" schlatt pointed triumphantly. "validation."

you stared at the bartender, tutting disapprovingly. "...you're an enabler."

"i prefer 'hospitable,'" he responded smoothly.

schlatt looked unbearably smug.

"oh, this is dangerous," you mutter to yourself, rubbing your temples.

"you practically did this to yourself," schlatt taunted.

"i did?"

"you let me bring us here."

"i…guess i did?"

"you let me order the expensive drink for us."

"i—"

"and now you're trying to take it away from me."

"take it away? i'm trying to save our wallets," you say, narrowing your eyes. "i think the whisky smell has already gone to your head."

"it smells expensive."

"it smells like smoke."

"it smells like possibility."

"more like the possibility of debt," you snorted, shaking your head just as the bartender finally lifted the cloche.

a ribbon of fragrant smoke escaped between the three of you, curling lazily toward the ceiling before disappearing somewhere above the lights.

for a moment, neither of you reached for your glasses. you simply watched it drift away.

"...okay," schlatt admitted quietly.

you looked over at him.

"...that was pretty cool."

you'd been right.

it was a little stupid.

very theatrical.

it was also, unfortunately for both of your wallets, really, really cool.

"...yeah," you admitted. "kinda."

the bartender stepped away with a quiet, "enjoy."

schlatt reached for his drink first.

you'd seen him drink whisky before, usually at home after dinner or while the two of you were halfway through a movie neither of you were actually paying attention to. there was always a little ritual to it—not because he took himself too seriously, but because he genuinely enjoyed it. the swirl of the glass. a quiet breath through his nose. the first sip taken slowly, almost thoughtfully, like he was letting himself settle into it before deciding what he thought.

you watched him do the same thing now.

he lifted the tumbler just beneath his nose, eyes drifting shut for a second as he breathed in.

"...applewood," he murmured after a moment.

you blinked.

"you can actually tell?"

"a little."

"a little?"

he smiled into the glass before opening his eyes again.

"i mean..." his shoulders rose in a small shrug. "they did smoke it with applewood two minutes ago."

you couldn't help laughing.

"oh."

"so that one wasn't exactly detective work."

"i was about to be really impressed."

"you still should be." the corner of his mouth twitched. "go on. join me."

you looked down at your own glass. "i have absolutely no idea what i'm doing."

"i know."

you rolled your eyes, but there wasn't much conviction behind it. "so... what do i do?"

"it's not a test." he leaned comfortably against the bar, his voice dropping into something quieter, slower. "just don't shoot it back all at once."

"that was my entire plan."

he gives a small chuckle. "just smell it first."

"...what am i smelling?"

"whatever you smell."

"that's incredibly unhelpful."

"it is," he admitted. "whisky people love making it sound harder than it is."

that was one of your favorite things about listening to him talk about the hobbies he cared about. he always sounded enthusiastic, never interested in proving that he knew more than you did. if anything, he seemed happiest when he got to watch someone else discover why he liked something in the first place.

you humored him anyway, lifting the glass until the rim hovered beneath your nose.

the scent caught you by surprise.

not just smoke. something sweeter underneath it. warm, almost comforting. like vanilla left too close to a fireplace.

"huh."

"what?"

"i..." you frowned. "i don't know."

"well, you're obviously smelling something."

"well, i mean..." you breathed in again, slower this time. "it smells... familiar."

schlatt watched you over the rim of his own glass, waiting with the quiet patience of someone who genuinely wanted to hear your answer. for a moment, you searched for something clever to say. surely there was a right way to describe whisky—some combination of words that sounded like you actually knew what you were doing. then you caught yourself. schlatt wasn't quizzing you, and he certainly wasn't waiting to be impressed.

"...it smells like fall. like a really nice autumn campsite with the fire going and marshmallows roasting."

"mmm." his smile softened. "that's a weirdly nice way of putting it."

you couldn't help smiling.

"so..." you turned the glass slowly between your hands. "do i finally get to drink it now?"

"i suppose."

"how generous of you."

"i know." he lifted his own glass. "cheers?"

you bumped the rims together with a quiet clink.

"to my first paycheck at my new big job," you said.

"and to you," schlatt replied simply.

you smiled into your glass. "...thanks."

his expression softened for just a second before he nodded toward the drink in your hands.

you took a careful sip.

the warmth reached your tongue first, followed almost immediately by the smoke you'd already picked up on. it lingered for a moment before giving way to something sweeter, smoother than you were expecting, and by the time you swallowed you found yourself instinctively chasing the flavor with another tiny sip before you could stop yourself.

"...oh."

schlatt laughed quietly. "good?"

you looked down into the amber liquid as though it might explain itself.

"i don't think i was expecting..." you searched for the words, rolling the taste around in your mind for another second. "...i don't know."

he waited.

"it doesn't taste like alcohol."

"it definitely does."

"it does," you corrected with a small laugh. "but not at first."

"that's the dangerous part."

"i thought the dangerous part was the price."

"that too."

you took another sip, slower this time. "...i get it."

"hm?"

"i get why people like this."

his eyebrows lifted just a touch.

"you do?"

"i don't know if i'd spend thirty dollars on it every week."

"i would."

"i know you would."

"but..." you glanced back at the glass. "...i kind of understand why you wanted to bring me here."

for a moment, he didn't answer. he only watched you over the rim of his own drink, looking strangely pleased with himself.

"what?"

"nothing."

"no, that's a face."

"what face?"

"the one that says, 'i was right, but i'm trying very hard not to say it out loud.'"

a grin tugged at the corner of his mouth.

"i wasn't going to say anything."

"you absolutely were."

"i was going to wait until the second glass."

you laughed, reaching over to nudge his shoulder with yours.

"i walked right into that one."

"you did."

"i'll never financially recover from this."

"no," he agreed thoughtfully, lifting his glass again. "probably not."

✧✧✧

the first glass disappeared more quickly than either of you had expected.

not because either of you were drinking particularly fast, but because conversation had a habit of making time collapse in on itself. one story became another. work gave way to old roommates, old roommates somehow led to the disastrous camping trip you'd taken two summers ago, and before long the bartender was collecting two empty tumblers with a knowing smile.

"so?" he asked, already reaching for the shelf behind him. "worth the production?"

schlatt answered before you could.

"unfortunately."

the bartender laughed. "i've heard that answer before."

"i hate being predictable," schlatt sighs, shaking his head.

"no, you don't," you cut in quickly.

"...you're right."

you smiled into your sleeve as the bartender disappeared again, leaving the two of you alone for another quiet stretch of conversation.

outside, the windows had gone dark.

you hadn't even noticed.

✧✧✧

the second whisky arrived without fanfare.

no smoke this time. no glass dome. just two clean pours of something deep amber that caught the golden light of the bar, like tiny liquid fireplaces and their last embers all aglow.

"this one's finished in bourbon barrels," schlatt explained, almost absentmindedly. "should be a little sweeter."

"you say that like it should mean something to me."

"it doesn't?"

"it sounds impressive, i guess?"

"i really think you'll like this one, honey. i'm pretty sure i've had it before, but i can't be too sure because it could've been a long while ago."

you eyed him suspiciously. "then how can you be 'really sure' i'll like this one?"

"because i'm confident."

"confidence has never once stopped you from being wrong."

"...that's fair."

you laughed, lifting the glass beneath your nose before taking another careful breath.

this one was different.

still warm. still rich. but the smoke had stepped politely out of the way, leaving behind something softer. honey, maybe. caramel. you weren't entirely sure.

"it's..." you frowned. "i know there's another food hiding in there."

schlatt waited patiently.

"...pancakes."

he blinked. "...pancakes?"

"with maple syrup."

for a second, you worried you'd completely embarrassed yourself.

then he smiled. "i can see that."

"you can?"

"i probably would've just said brown sugar."

"that's basically pancake adjacent."

"basically. not really, but for adjacent, yeah, i'll give it to you."

satisfied with your extremely scientific conclusion, you finally took a sip.

it tasted... comfortable. the kind of drink that made you instinctively settle a little deeper into your chair.

without thinking, your knee found schlatt's beneath the bar again.

he didn't move away.

neither did you.

✧✧✧

by the time the second glasses were empty, you'd stopped paying much attention to the room around you.

the bartender drifted in and out of conversations with practiced ease, checking in every so often without hovering. the couple tucked into the corner had long since left, replaced by two friends sharing a charcuterie board near the windows. somewhere behind the bar, another bottle was uncorked with a soft pop that disappeared beneath the music.

you rested your chin in your hand.

"i think..."

schlatt looked up.

"...i understand whisky now."

he smiled.

"do you?"

"no."

that earned a laugh.

"but i understand why you like it."

he tilted his head slightly.

"what do you mean?"

you shrugged one shoulder.

"it makes you slow down."

his eyebrows lifted.

"you always slow down when you drink it."

you reached over, absentmindedly smoothing a wrinkle from the cuff of his sleeve before you even realized what you were doing.

"you stop checking your phone."

your hand lingered for only a second before falling back into your lap.

"you stop thinking about work."

a small pause.

"and you talk more."

schlatt was quiet for a moment.

"...hm." he looked down at his empty glass. "i never really noticed."

something warm settled between the two of you. the easy understanding that came from spending enough time beside someone to notice the little things they'd never think to notice about themselves.

the bartender wandered back over, collecting the empty glasses with one hand.

"so," he said, "are we brave enough for one more?"

you looked at schlatt. he looked back at you.

there was a question there.

not can we afford it?

not should we?

simply...

are you still having a good time?

you smiled before he could ask it aloud.

"i think one more."

the bartender's answering grin was immediate. "i was hoping you'd say that."

✧✧✧

the third glass found its place in front of you with little more than a quiet nod from the bartender.

by then, there wasn't much left to explain.

the two of you had settled into an easy rhythm over the last couple of hours—schlatt asking the occasional question about a bottle he'd never tried, the bartender offering a recommendation or two, you listening somewhere in the middle, content to let them speak a language you only half understood.

it was nice.

not because of the whisky, though that certainly wasn't hurting.

just... nice.

the kind of evening that reminded you how little the destination mattered when you liked the company.

you took another careful sip.

it was different again. richer, maybe. a little darker than the last one. whatever sweetness you'd found before had given way to something deeper, though trying to chase tasting notes now felt a little like trying to remember the end of a dream after you'd already woken up.

you set the glass back down with a quiet hum.

"i think i've reached the limit of my vocabulary."

schlatt looked over. "no more notes of marshmallow or pancakes?"

a smile tugged at your mouth. "i think we've exhausted my flavor-thinking brain."

"hm." he swirled the amber liquid around his own glass, watching it catch the light. "probably for the best."

you rested your cheek against your hand, watching him instead.

he really did slow down with whisky.

you'd mentioned it earlier almost as a passing observation, but now that you'd said it aloud, you couldn't stop noticing it. the stories he told became a little less hurried. he let silences settle without rushing to fill them. even the way he held the glass seemed deliberate, turning it absentmindedly between his fingers whenever he paused to think.

it suited him.

conversation drifted on without asking much of either of you. there were stories you'd heard before, though you didn't mind hearing them again. you found yourself interrupting less, content to listen while your fingers idly traced lazy circles through the condensation left behind on the polished wood.

every now and then, schlatt's hand would brush yours reaching for his glass.

sometimes he'd leave it there for a second before pulling away again.

neither of you seemed to notice anymore.

or maybe you both did.

it was difficult to tell where habit ended and affection began after long enough together.

when the bartender returned, it wasn't with another recommendation this time, only a small smile as he gathered the empty glasses.

"last call for the tasting menu."

you looked down at the final sip still waiting in your own glass before giving an almost apologetic shake of your head.

"i think i'm tapping out."

"i figured," he said warmly, taking the empty coaster from beneath your drink. his attention shifted to schlatt. "what about you?"

schlatt glanced at you first.

you smiled. such a gentleman.

"you can have one more, schlatt."

"you sure?"

you nodded, shrugging. "i'm stealing a sip anyway."

a quiet laugh escaped him. "i guess that's only fair if i'm drinking without you."

the bartender disappeared once more, leaving you with the last of your whisky while schlatt's final pour was prepared somewhere behind the shelves.

✧✧✧

the bartender set the fresh pour in front of schlatt before collecting the empty glasses.

"last one," he said. "…this one's on me."

schlatt looked up, surprised. "you serious?"

"you two have been fun."

he smiled then—not the practiced smile he'd worn all evening, but something easier.

"and," he admitted, nodding toward schlatt, "it doesn't hurt that you're kinda cute."

you turned your head so slowly it was almost theatrical. "...excuse me? three drinks in and now is the time that you decide to hit on my man?"

schlatt, meanwhile, looked delighted. "i knew there was something going on between us."

the bartender laughed. "oh, don't let it go to your head."

"too late," schlatt shoots back.

the bartender laughs at that, then glances toward the clock hanging above the bottles behind him. "i have to leave now because my shift ended ten minutes ago, and if i stick around any longer i'm going to end up listening to you two flirt until midnight. but i seriously loved serving you guys tonight."

"we've been flirting?" schlatt whispers questioningly.

"you've been doing nothing but flirting."

schlatt looked at you. you looked back at him.

"...have we?" you echo schlatt's sentiment. "i thought we were just talking."

the bartender laughed so hard he had to shake his head.

"have a good night, you two."

with that, he collected the empty coasters, offered one last wave over his shoulder, and disappeared through the door behind the bar.

for a moment, neither of you did anything but watch him go.

the final drink simply sat between you, untouched, the amber catching the light whenever someone walked past.

then, the moment schlatt's hand finally reached for it—

you beat him by half a second, your fingers closing around the glass first.

his hand landed on empty wood.

"...really?"

"i called first sip."

"you absolutely did not call the first sip."

"i definitely thought it first."

"mm, yeah, you definitely thought of having the first sip after thinking that you were done drinking…" he chuckled under his breath, withdrawing his hand as you took the smallest sip imaginable.

it was... different.

complete. not a foundation for other flavors…no. smoke would have taken away from the spiciness. it was a darker whiskey and while you're not sure if that's artificial, it feels heavier, more mature and has a deeper flavor. like it's matured and reached a point in its life where it is satisfied…which leaves you satisfied after just one sip.

you sat with the taste for another second before handing the glass back to him.

"i think..." you searched for the word. "it tastes finished. there's nothing i would add or take away."

schlatt grinned at you, taking the glass and swirling it a bit before taking his own sip and humming. "mm. i agree with you. it's good. really good. it's probably…expensive as fuck. thank god we got it on the house, right?"

"ugh, true. thank goodness for how hot you are."

schlatt chuckles, taking another small sip, turning the glass thoughtfully between his fingers before setting it back onto the polished wood with a quiet clink.

"...yeah," he murmured after a moment, eyes drifting back over to yours. "apparently."

outside, headlights drifted lazily across the front windows before disappearing again. somewhere toward the back of the bar, someone laughed, a distant sound that faded almost as quickly as it had arrived.

you rested your elbow on the counter, absentmindedly turning your body a little more toward him.

schlatt drifted into another story as naturally as breathing. you weren't even sure what had prompted it this time. something about a trip he'd taken years ago, a stranger he'd met for all of five minutes, and somehow the entire thing became entertaining simply because he was the one telling it. his hands moved as much as his voice, sketching pieces of the memory into the air between you whenever he reached a part he particularly wanted to emphasize.

you'd always liked that about him. he never seemed to realize how expressive he was.

you found yourself smiling before he'd reached the punchline.

he noticed, of course.

"...what?"

"hm?"

"you're smiling at me."

"i am?"

"mhmm. what for?"

you opened your mouth.

nothing came out.

there wasn't really an answer.

just...

before the thought had finished forming, your hand had already lifted from the bar.

your fingertip settled lightly against the bridge of his nose.

it was warm.

without any more consideration than that, you traced the line of it slowly downward, following the gentle slope until your finger reached the end.

...

boop.

the silence that followed was immediate.

schlatt's glass remained suspended halfway to his mouth, forgotten entirely as he stared at you with an expression somewhere between confusion and complete disbelief.

you blinked back at him.

only then did your brain finally catch up with your hand.

"..."

oh.

schlatt stared at you.

you stared right back.

his whisky hovered forgotten halfway to his mouth.

"..."

"..."

a sound escaped him.

then—

"hah—" he lost it. the laugh tore out of him so suddenly that he had to abandon the glass back onto the bar with a hurried clink, one hand flying to his mouth as his whole body folded forward.

"...oh my god." the words came out somewhere between horror and realization. your hand flew back to yourself as though only now remembering it had been attached to your body this entire time.

schlatt looked up just long enough to meet your eyes.

that was a mistake.

the moment he saw your expression—equal parts confused, embarrassed, and trying so hard to figure out what possessed you—he absolutely lost it.

"hahaha—!" he doubled over again, one hand braced against the edge of the bar while the other covered his mouth in a completely hopeless attempt to contain himself. "oh my god!"

"nooo, don't laugh!" your own laughter escaped in one sudden burst, your forehead dropping onto the cool wood of the bar as your shoulders began shaking just as badly.

"i don't even—" another laugh stole the rest of the sentence. "what just happened?"

"you—" schlatt couldn't answer. every time he looked at you he started laughing all over again, reduced to pointing vaguely in your direction before another cackle interrupted whatever he'd been trying to say. "hahahaha!"

your face disappeared into the crook of your arm. "oh my god, shut up."

"you just—"

he made an utterly useless gesture down the front of his own face.

"..."

"..."

that tiny, pathetic little booping motion. the two of you broke all over again. it took an embarrassingly long time before either of you could sit upright.

schlatt wiped beneath one eye, breathing hard as he tried—and failed—to compose himself.

"...jesus christ." his voice came out rough around the edges from laughing so hard.

you laughed quietly into your sleeve, still shaking your head.

by the time it finally settled, the room had slipped back into its gentle rhythm. glasses clinked somewhere farther down the bar. someone pushed through the front door, letting a breath of cool evening air wander inside before it disappeared again.

schlatt reached for his whisky once more, though he didn't drink it immediately.

he was still smiling.

"so..." he murmured, turning the glass idly between his fingers. "you wanna tell me what that was about?"

you rested your chin against your hand, watching the amber swirl around the inside of the tumbler.

"i..."

the answer should have been easy.

instead, you found yourself looking at him again.

at the soft curl of his hair where it had fallen across his forehead. the laugh lines that hadn't quite disappeared yet. the warmth still lingering in his cheeks from laughing so hard.

and then...

your eyes landed there again.

squarely in the middle of his face.

"...huh."

schlatt followed your gaze instinctively before his expression shifted into immediate suspicion.

"...what."

"i think..." you smiled to yourself, almost amused by your own realization. "i think i just really like your nose."

for a moment, schlatt simply stared. of all the compliments he'd expected to hear in his lifetime that one had never once crossed his mind.

his hand came up almost instinctively, fingertips brushing self-consciously across the bridge of his nose before he caught himself.

"...you 'really like' my nose?"

you looked at him with complete sincerity.

"yeah." another little laugh escaped you, helpless and warm. "it's a really nice nose. suits your face, does it's job well. i like it."

"i don't know what to do with that information, honey."

"mm," you shrug. "you don't have to do anything. just…wanted to let you know."

schlatt studied you for another moment. not with confusion anymore. but with a particular expression you knew all too well: the one that meant he'd had an idea.

"...c'mere."

you laughed softly. "what?"

"just..." he set his glass aside and turned on the stool until he was facing you completely. one hand found your knee, the other reaching up almost absentmindedly until his fingertips settled beneath your jaw. "...c'mere."

there wasn't much point arguing. you leaned in.

"what are you—"

"i've gotta see something."

"that's ominous."

"it is."

somewhere in the back of your mind, you assumed this was where the kiss would finally happen. it seemed the natural conclusion to the evening.

instead, his fingers found your jaw, taking your face into his hand to steady you, when usually, it would be threading through your hair or curling behind your neck to control when the kiss stopped — to keep your lips pressed impossibly close for as long as he wanted.

but no. this time, his thumb rested beneath your chin while the rest of his hand cradled the curve of your face. what was he up to? your heart fluttered at the casual familiarity and gentleness of it all.

his gaze lingered on your face for another moment before he leaned in the rest of the way.

your eyes slipped shut instinctively.

but the kiss never came.

something warm brushed the outer corner of your eye.

your breath caught.

it took your brain a moment to understand what you were feeling.

not lips.

his nose.

it drifted across your skin with almost impossible gentleness, following the curve beneath your eye before gliding slowly toward your cheek. the contact was featherlight, barely there, and yet somehow all you could focus on. every tiny movement mapped itself across your awareness as though the whisky had stripped away every distraction, leaving only the warmth of him.

his breath followed a heartbeat later. it fanned across your cheek with every quiet, warm exhale, and when his mouth curved into what you could only assume was another smile, the corner of his lips grazed your skin so fleetingly that you couldn't decide whether it had actually happened or not.

"...schlatt…" the word left you softer than you'd intended.

"hm?"

the sound rumbled gently against your cheek, close enough that it sent a pleasant shiver racing down your neck.

"what are you doing?"

"i thought..." his voice was almost thoughtful. "...i'd see what all the fuss was about."

another slow pass.

his nose traced the line of your cheek until it found your own, the bridge of it slipping alongside yours with a patience that bordered on teasing. he wasn't hurrying toward anything. if anything, he seemed content to simply exist there, letting the warmth of his skin and the quiet rhythm of his breathing do all the work.

this was absurd.

utterly ridiculous.

and yet your heart had somehow decided this was the most intimate thing he'd ever done.

you blinked your eyes open just a little.

he'd left his own half-lidded, his lashes casting soft shadows across his cheeks. from this close, you could see the tiny crease at the corner of his mouth where he was still trying not to smile.

god.

he was insufferably pretty sometimes.

"you're making fun of me, aren't you?" you whispered.

"i might be."

he didn't kiss you.

instead, he leaned in until your foreheads were almost touching, his nose slipping gently alongside yours. the bridge of it traced the length of your own in one slow, deliberate stroke, all the way down until the tips met.

he lingered.

then, with the smallest smile, he rubbed the tip of his nose against yours in two tiny, playful passes.

back.

and forth.

affectionate.

catlike.

"but..." another gentle brush of nose on nose. "...i think i get it."

"what?"

"i've never really thought about noses before."

his smile widened just enough that you felt it again against your cheek.

"but yours..." his gaze flickered lazily between your eyes. "...is awfully cute."

you stared at him.

then, despite yourself, you laughed.

"oh, you are so full of shit."

"i am not."

"you absolutely are."

"i'm offended."

"you've never looked at my nose a day in your life."

"no." his thumb swept idly beneath your jaw, the smile finally softening into something quieter. "i hadn't."

the admission settled between you.

"i guess..." his eyes drifted over your face again, slower this time. "i never had much reason to."

you weren't sure whether it was the whisky or the way he was looking at you, but something in your chest squeezed painfully.

"...and?"

"and..." he smiled to himself. "you've convinced me."

your noses brushed once more.

"...it's a nice nose."

you snorted. "no, seriously."

"i am serious."

"you are making fun of me."

"i started out making fun of you," he laughed softly. "i don't think i am anymore."

a comfortable silence settled around you again.

the music had become little more than a pleasant hum somewhere behind you. outside, another pair of headlights swept across the windows before melting back into the night. the whisky sat forgotten between you.

his thumb drifted from your jaw down your neck.

"so..." he murmured.

"so?"

he didn't answer this time.

his hand tightened at the base of your neck, just enough to keep you in place, and when he leaned in there was nothing unhurried about it. the easy, teasing patience from a moment ago had evaporated — like something in him had finally stopped holding back.

you met him halfway, faster than you meant to.

your noses bumped together — not hard, just enough to stop the kiss before it ever quite happened.

a short, breathless laugh escaped you both, both of you in complete disbelief.

"...really?" schlatt huffed, forehead dropping against yours. "now?"

"i didn't do it on purpose!"

"you have the worst timing."

"me? you're the one who—"

"shh." he was already smiling, but there was an edge to it now, something that hadn't been there the first time this happened. he shifted, tilting his head to correct the angle, and this time there was no careful patience in it. "hang on."

the obstacle (his nose) slipped neatly past yours, and then his mouth found yours properly — firm, certain, like he'd simply decided the joke was over.

the kiss wasn't slow now. it was searching, urgent, like the whole evening had been leading here and he'd just run out of patience for the wait. his hand slid from your jaw into your hair, and you felt the small, low sound he made when your fingers fisted in the front of his shirt and pulled him in.

when you finally broke apart, it was only because you needed air. foreheads pressed together, both of you breathing harder than the moment should have warranted.

"...okay," schlatt said, voice rough. "okay, that's—"

"yeah."

"that's not what i thought was gonna happen when i said 'hang on.'"

"devastating for you."

"...and you."

"true," you laughed, and he laughed too, the sound settling something loose and warm in your chest. his nose bumped yours again, gentler this time. maybe something that will become a habit for both of you.

"...still my favorite part," you whispered.

"i was really hoping you'd say me."

"i did." you tapped the tip of his nose one more time, the same gentle little motion from before. "but also this."

[schlanonymous]

an ENTIRE fic on MY post!?

This is fucking AMAZING!

[all-the-urls-are-taken]

Im a schlutt for him

[pandawasbored]

[notschlatt]

[x]

[notschlatt]

whatever you say, beautiful

[cole-nook]

fuck

source: bllineomm on tiktok

[evitttaa]

My for you page is all horny Schlatt videos

My favourite

[kschlatt1998]

HE'S SO BIG

[evitttaa]

Hottest clip ever

From @/desolashin on TikTok

The sexiest thing a man can do

[dwellstar]

need himmso bad dont fuck with me rn