It's me (zamaxlol4) I'm sorry I'm on anon but my tumblr acc is giving me problems. Anyways, I just read your answer to the ask and wow it was so good. I'm religious as well, Christian to be specific and I do agree to your way of thinking about this topic, you sorted your ideas so well. But I have 2 questions, 1) you said you had a headcanon when he sleeps, would you mind sharing it with us? 2)do you think he is self conscious about what he is, like do you think he sometimes regrets what he is?
hello zamax!(lol what should i call you?) Iām so very sorry for getting to this so late ahhh! Iām so sorry!!! My life is batshit crazy at the moment!
Thank you so much, Iām glad you liked it!! Iām relieved that the organization of it was alright, i find thatās one of my weaknesses in writing haha.
hmm well see there is a slight differentiation between how I headcanon Sebastian and how he is actually portrayed. The story isnāt about him, his past, him in relation to morality, humanity, philosophy, religion, etc. Itās about his relationship with Ciel and the things that happen to Ciel with only flashes and allusions to the aforementioned topics. I would like to think that how I characterize him in depth is how Yana herself would if expanding on those things was her goal (which it only ever is to a very minimal extent) which kind of makes it seem as if iām digging a hole where there is no dirt but forgive me, this is my disclaimer.
I think that Sebastian avoids his own vulnerability like the plague. If he acts like it isnāt there maybe it will leave him alone. Sleeping is a very vulnerable act. If Iām writing a human AU, I write him to be the kind of kid to feel ashamed if he isnāt the last to fall asleep at a sleepover, someone who gets embarrassed when people take photos of him sleeping, never goes to bed earlyā¦ There is something to do with pride there.
I think there is also the probability of nightmares, because who knows what all heās seen?? What kind of horrifics things could he have gone through?? A life that long has far too many possibilities. What kind of knowledge is he potentially burdened with? Has he witnessed the void in itās unfathomable, lightless entirety?
There is also the facet to consider that he perhaps finds sleep boring, and doesnāt want to spend any time not doing, learning, being entertained, etc. (Remember in the circus arc when William wouldnāt let him out of the tent he was like:Ā āugh i guess i could sleepā but in the end he didnāt sleep anyway and he laid there whining about being bored? yeah)
Like I said in the angel post about being human, probably not consciously. But I definitely think he may have been in the past or would be if he thought too hard about it. I think he is entertained humans and loves to pretend to be one(lol most times) and could be subconsciously envious of them. But the concept of of him being anything but what he is, would be so nonsensically improbable to him that he wuldnāt let himself think about it. Like, I donāt think he would be the type to fantasize aboutĀ āwhat ifsā, does that make any sense/answer your question?
Thank you so much, hun, for your wonderful questions(youāre always so great) and I apologise again for being so tardy with the answers!!
