piyu bole

26 | she/her | desi | writer | lover | a horrific modern mess 🫀🍂🥀

[kyayarpriyanka]

kya yar priyanka... kuch apne baare mein batao.

aaye ho... toh chai peeke hi jaana - 26 saal ki old school ladki, jo phulon, khaton, khubsurat aasmaanon, ya sirf ek cup chai se khush ho jaati hai. - shaayri, kavitayein aur kitabein padhna pasand hai. - purane gaane sunne ka shauq hai. - filmschool se masters kar liya hai aur ab "professional writer" bann gayi hun. - kisi ke liye khana banana bhi ek tareeqa hai pyar jatane ka, toh kuch khaas logo ke liye karti hun. - kabhi saddie, kabhi baddie. - baaki toh aap feed padh ke samajh hi jaayenge. - #vibesbypikachu: moodboards - #musingsbypikachu: music aesthetics - #moodsbypikachu: baaki sab anaap shanaap cheezein ~ aapki pyaari piyu <3

[kyayarpriyanka]

the unmaking of a home

so many little little things go into making a house a home, we never realise all the small things we have put all our love into, things bought with consideration, needs, wants and cravings, until it's time to pack everything away into material carton boxes. can i ever hope to express these feelings into a language that these boxes would understand, the enormous amount of love they carry?

-- written by yours, piyu ❤️‍🩹

[kyayarpriyanka]

food for love: a metaphor

looking back through my writings, i figure, food is an oddly perfect metaphor for love. cooking for someone: instantly becomes an emotion for caring, loving, or even pampering. eating alone translates to loneliness more often than it does to self love. but cooking for self, a whole other mood. it's self preservation, independence, and freedom. maybe that's where the difference between being lonely and alone comes into play.

i don't know how to quite end this piece yet, but hey, it's just food for thought. get it?

[kyayarpriyanka]

Your musings >>>>>>>>>

awh, thank you so much! 🥰

[kyayarpriyanka]

feels for the day

hope deferred makes the heart sick,

i repeat,

hope deferred makes the heart sick.

[wohchaand]

in the most human way, i feel jealous that someone else might be chosen by you in the ways i have been waiting for.

[mournfulroses]

Li Qingzhao, from a poem titled "Late Spring," featured in The Complete Poems of Li Qingzhao

[kyayarpriyanka]

bahot saalon baad tumblr par khul ke dil ki baatein likhi hain. par inn do saalon ka bojh utaarne ke liye agle char hazaar post bhi kam padhenge. shayad, mere mann aur dil ki baat kehne ka aur koi zariya bacha nahi mere paas. yaa fir koi log sunn sunn kar thak chuke hain.

agar mere dukh se kisi ko sahara hi mil jaaye, toh shayad isse badi khushi muje nahi mil sakti. toh agar baat achi lagi ho, dost, toh ek baar charcha zaroor karke jaana. ❤️‍🩹

[shadowseductress]

I gave you all my tomorrows and forgot to have one of my own

[thoughtkick]

“If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave.”

— Mo Willems

[kyayarpriyanka]

sad i get

i love you i do, i just, i wonder if, the sad i’d be without you would be less than the sad i’d get from being with you.

[kyayarpriyanka]

situationships/modern dating 101

naa hi haath pakadne ka iraada, naa hi haath chhodne ka saahas 

[kyayarpriyanka]

tum muje kya samjhoge, main khud ko hi samajhna bhul gayi hun

kehna aasaan hai, main tumhein acche se jaanta hun, tumhari harr hassi, har aansu ka matlab. pehle toh sunke lagta tha ki puri zindagi bass issi ki khwahish ki hai, ki koi iss naasamajh ke bina bole sab samajh jaaye. aur ab jab samajh rahe hai, unhein kaise bataun ki vo galat hain. meri hassi ka voh matlab nahi tha, main uss vajah se nahi udaas hun, par kya tum mein ye sunne ki himmat hai ki tum galat bhi ho sakte ho? kya iss galti ko maan kar, tum muje aur acche se nahi jaanoge?

kabhi kisi ne mauka hi nahi diya, galat ko sahi karne ka, ya fir galti karne ka. humesha sahi cheezein karo, sab apne aap sahi ho jayega. shayad isliye galtiyon se itna darr lagta hai, kyuki kabhi sikhaya hi nahi ki agar galat ho jaao toh kya karna chahiye. kya galat ko sahi karna chahiye, ya uss galat ko hi sahi maan lena chahiye? 

-- written by yours truly, piyu❤️‍🩹

[kyayarpriyanka]

i really don't want to feel sorry for myself anymore

but i can't help but only feel empathy for what has happened. or is it sympathy? i wish i knew better. some days i really do just wish to end things. not in a self harming kind of a way, but is it really not the same thing? am i doing myself any favours? 

i have become so disconnected myself, that i do not know anything about my emotions anymore. all that comes are tears. it's been very difficult craving for something which i have been giving and giving and giving, but never getting back in return. what am i doing that is so wrong? 

"you don't know how to deal with your emotions, you are being so immature about this, you need to keep personal and professional things separate-" i think i really fucking do. i would have known how to deal with my emotions if i didn't have all this suppressed anger in me. for all the times you pretended to listen only to respond. and for proving that you were right. 

i really wish to learn from you and work with you, but i don't think i can do both anymore. do you seriously not feel like hell when thinking of parting away from me? do you seriously not feel that craving to desperately touch and linger and just have me to yourself? because i do. i would do that in a heartbeat, but it feels like even after saying a thousand times that you put me first, above everything else, you do not. i want a love that makes you burn from within, that consumes you, that makes you sane from madness, make you think clearer. i will not settle until i find it. i shouldn't. all the time, you're in my head, good things or bad, all the time, every fucking second. i am so consumed by you that i don't think i remember myself anymore. 

[kyayarpriyanka]

making ends meet

as i’ve begun to live alone, i have acquired a new taste for the end pieces of the bread loaf. they used to be lonely, but now we can be lonely together.

[kyayarpriyanka]

i'll fix it soon, i promise

honey, could you come in here and fix the sink, please? i heard you, baby. i'll fix it soon, i promise. she smiles and brings him a warm cup of tea.

i think we should do more romantic things together, i've been feeling very lonely. i heard you, baby. i'll fix it soon, i promise. she kisses his cheek, so in love.

she tucks her hair behind, and her thumb in her fist. i didn't like the way you spoke to me earlier, i get that you were mad, but i was only worried for you. i heard you, baby. i'll fix it soon, i... promise. he sets down the cup, and her smile slowly fades away.

he fumbles as he walks to the kitchen to get another one of those cheap green bottles of beer. baby, do you know the sink is overflowing?

sh*t, i've got to fix it.

-- written by yours truly, piyu❤️‍🩹

[kyayarpriyanka]

Do your mood board are so pretty I am obsessedddddddd

do you want one?🤍