how the south park boys are for new years celebrations…as long as kyles in it pls 🥰
happy 2025 guys! let’s all cook!
𐔌 ᩧ ຼ ˳ ' is it new years yet ? ' ꣑୧
͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ׁ ˙ ◞ sp m4 x anypov ◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ׁ ˙ ◞
tags ; m4 hcs , ooc(?) , not proofread , rushed writing , author doesnt kno how to celebrate nwyrs , reader is implied to be newkid/douchebag but can be whoever ۫ ꪆ
stan
stan’s love of holidays slowly dies away with each festive themed weed his dad comes out with
its not totally the worst, when his dad forgets to have stan help him he uses that to sneak out the house to visit his friends
the new years is just right after christmas, having randy be extra busy pushing out limited edition edibles giving him less time to care
hes self aware enough to know new year resolutions wont work on him
“thats dumb, im not doing that.”
he gets kinda grumpy on the topic of self improvement especially when hes tried multiple times but it doesnt work out :(
the one who sets up the fireworks
stolen from his dad
lets u help him out if u ask
when lighting he lets you do the honors and then grabs your hand to run out
TRIES to not drink during new years
he actually kind of likes the end of the year, so he wants to remember
kyle
his family is BIG on holidays
went out to the guys after his family dinner
so he shows up like a lot more fancy than everyone else
cartman makes fun of him for it
his mom makes him bring a bunch of stuff to the party so everyone can do new year traditions
hes embarrassed but brings it anyway
he has a hard time thinking what resolution to have
personally i dont think kyle’s super into romance but i think his resolution would be to get a girlfriend
he came up with it after cartman said, “another year and kahl’s still a virgin.”
ignoring the fact hes ALSO one
yes this is anypov but i said girlfriend
kyle doesn’t expect to date a guy.. or someone outside the binary
but if he does hes respectful!!
even though christmas just happened he gets more gifts for the group including cartman
he doesnt know why he keeps doing it when cartmans still ungrateful
kyle just gets you smth he thinks u might want, something of ur interests that you mentioned, or mayb smth u passed by and looked at
cartman
uses those like firecracker things
idk if u kno wht im talking abt but its those things that snap when u throw it on the ground
harasses kyle w those
and everyone but esp kyle
that guy who doesnt countdown when its hitting 12 bc he thinks hes too cool for that
prob yells out numbers out of order cs he thinks its funny
cartman wants to hear everyones resolution and then makes fun of them
when they ask him whats his he doesnt have one
for one, he doesnt think he needs improvement. and second, he rarely tries to improve himself in the first place
“new kid you got resolutions? lame. but ill show you how to be cool like me!”
also abuses another term:
“cartman whyd u call my gf a bitch”
“new year new me” / “that was last year get over it”
“i hope she beats ur ass dude”
kenny
“i havent showered since last year… heh…”
”kenny its not even 12 yet”
”im telling the truth.”
LMAO IM SORRY
not allowed near the fireworks bc last time he messed w it and blasted it into a house
and died but mainly bc of the house
participates in ALL of the traditions using the stuff kyle brought
new year resolutions: see titties
eats 12 grapes under a table so he can see sum titties
karen begs to stay up til 12 and he lets her
def counts down he loves being included in everything
“MMF !! HM !! MM !!! MF !!”
thinks celebrating christmas is also celebrating new years at the same time and vice versa
comments on the fireworks:
“woahh..” / “they should make one that has a penis”
feels bad abt not bringing anything so he scraps up to buy a bulk box of pop tarts to bring
but scarfs that shit DOWN
cartman always consumes more tho
“calm down caseoh..” -kenny
“fuck off u poor piece of shit” -cartman
“at least caseoh is nice, thats why ppl like him” -stan
“yeah u cant be fat and an asshole” -kyle
general hc but kenny probably makes HORRENDOUS food combos
this is not a soft domestic blog but also im sad and delirious so i think kyle should run his fingers thru my hair and tell me im not stupid and im worth more than sex tbh
-> Lives on Tegridy Farms with his family. His dad sold their house and moved them out to the valley when Stan was ten. (They're essentially where Marnie is in game.)
-> Sparky is still alive but he's getting older, so he sticks to laying on the porch waiting for Stan to get back
-> Plays football with Clyde, Craig, and Tolkien! Kenny and Cartman will join in sometimes and he practically drags Kyle out to join them.
-> He works for Joja Mart with his sister. They'd both rather work there than be near their dad.
》 He's saving up to move back to the city, or so he says. Truth be told he can't leave behind Sparky or his Mom.
-> He bought his own chicken coop and has a few chickens of his own.
-> He goes to the saloon every night, most nights by himself
-> But on Fridays, after Jimmy's comedy act, him and his band will play!
-> On Sundays when everyone else is in church or doing their own thing. Stan and Kyle will go up to the summit past the railroad tracks and spend hours up there. Catching up and just unwinding.
-> He probably has a mini event that's kind of like Sam's 2 heart event, where he asks the Farmer what type of music they like.
Gift Guide:
Loves: Pizza, Survival Burger, Book of Mysteries, Frozen Tears, Beer (This changes after Heart Event 6)
Likes: Joja Cola, Apples, All Eggs, Void Esscene, Large Milk
Neutral: All Fruit (Except Apples), Coffee, Peppers
Dislikes: Fertilizer, Daffodil, Any Fish, Pink Cake
Liked: "Oh, uh thanks! Should I get you something back?"
Neutral: "Cool, I'll find a use for it."
Disliked: "What...is this? Why?"
Hated: "What the fuck were you thinking?"
Given any alcohol after Heart Event 6: "Why would you give me this?! You know I'm trying to stop!"
Heart Event @ 2:
Stan is throwing empty beer bottles at the passing train, they shatter just as the Farmer approaches him. He looks back at them with a grin offering one for them to throw. He mentions that he was drinking with his friend Kenny but he had to go, so now he's just passing time. He's not quite drunk yet but he's tipsy. When the Farmer takes the bottle and throws it he relaxes a little, says that he's glad they're not put off by the behavior. After a little bit of silence, he asks them why they moved to the Valley. There's not a lot of money in farming and then makes a comment about how he fucking hates it. How he feels isolated from the rest of the town sometimes.
-> Feels that way sometimes doesn't it? But at least you have your friends (+)
-> You're literally closer to town than I am, don't your friends come to visit you? (-)
If First Option: He mulls it over and decides you're right. He should he grateful he at least has them. Though lately it feels like they're drifting apart. Stan comments how you must feel lonely being new to town and all.
"Oh well. I guess we can be lonely losers together. Farmer buddies and all that."
If Second Option: Stan doesn't really appreciate the sass. He wasn't looking for a pity party, just wanted to kinda vent. He makes note not to talk about it again.
"Yeah sure. I guess, but you didn't have to be a dick about it."
Heart Event @ 4:
Stan and his friends are playing pool at the tavern, a rare instance where they're all off work and finally get to hang out. He leans over the pool table and sinks another ball, much to Kyle's annoyance. As the Farmer comes in Cartman makes a comment that Kyle is getting his ass kicked and bad. It prompts Kyle to snap at him and shake the pool cue at him. Kenny and Stan laugh a little before Stan realizes you're there. He smiles and gestures for you to come over! Now that you're here they have enough for teams. Farmer is confused because there's already four of them, they make five. Stan whispers in their ear, explaining that Cartman won't play with Kyle anymore. He lost one time and now he's convinced that Kyle cheated. Something about how there's no way Kyle would ever actually win a game fair and square. When you agree he gets excited and before anyone else gets the chance he announces that you'll be on his team!
"Awesome! We're gonna smoke these guys! Kenny wrack 'em! Farmer is with me!"
⚠️ TW: Attempted suicide ahead ⚠️
Heart Event @ 6:
Stan's drinking again. Right next to the railroad tracks but this time he's got one foot on the railroad, rocking back and forth. There's glass bottles around him, unbroken and too many to count. He almost stumbles down to the ground but he keeps himself up. Farmer approaches and that's when they hear the sound of the train coming in, and it's coming fast. Stan had no intentions on moving, in fact he looks like he's about to fall forward willingly. The dead look in his eyes tells them that much. Farmer runs across the field and tackles him into the ground, the train narrowly missing the both of them. Stan lays there having just had the wind knocked out of him. His head is spinning and he feels sick, but he also feels the Farmer on his chest and his back against the ground. He's not dead. Then it hits him, you almost died to save him. You who's kept talking to him despite everything, even when he was being an ass.
"You....you could have gotten yourself killed why would you do that?"
-> I couldn't just stand there and watch you die Stan!
-> Are you crazy?! You almost got us both killed!
-> I don't know...my legs just moved on their own.
-> (Just hug him)
If First Option: Stan starts crying and presses his palms into his eyes. He lays there and sobs, but he feels safe enough to do it.
"Hey Farmer...hic...can you help me to Kyle. I'm scared."
If Second Option: He grits his teeth and digs his hand into the dirt. Stan knows what he did was crazy, he can't be mad at you for snapping like that. You just saved his life. But he didn't ask you to.
"Fuck...I know. Look, just help me get to Kyle. I think I'm gonna be sick."
If Third Option: Stan doesn't know what to say but he thinks he gets it. He just closes his eyes and tries to stop the dizzy ride his drunken state is on. He doesn't want to move but he can't just lay here all day.
"Do you think Kyle is gonna yell at me...if I show up looking like this? Maybe if I just go to sleep I won't have to think about it."
If Fourth Option: Stan freezes he wasn't expecting the Farmer to do that. They should be angry with him, furious. But they're hugging him and clinging to him for dear life. His life. Stan wraps his arms around them and starts to cry. It's the most vulnerable he's been with anyone in a long time.
"Shit...fuck dude...just please don't let me go. I don't wanna go. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
Heart Event @ 8:
It's early morning when the Farmer steps out, they're greeted with the sound of music. Stan is sitting on their porch playing his old guitar, the acoustic one that's seen better days. When the Farmer gets closer he looks up at them for a moment, unable to look them in the eye for too long. After a moment of silence, he tells them that Kyle got it out of storage for him. Says it'll help him focus on something other than the withdrawals and that Kyle put him in contact with a therapist. He thanks the Farmer for saving his life, and apologizes that they had to see that. As he plays a somber tune again he makes a comment, this is the first time he's been on their farm. First time he's been out this way since they moved into the valley. He confesses that your farm is a lot nicer than his dad's and that maybe farming isn't so bad. Farmer sits beside him and he quietly continues playing, they've never heard him play this song before.
"I'm sorry...I'm sorry I've been a jerk to you. You and Kyle shouldn't have to take care of me, but you did. You care and I should remember that. Sparky would have been really upset if I never came home. So thanks...for everything."
When given the bouquet:
"!! I don't understand why you'd choose me, but...I'm selfish and I want you all to myself. So I accept!"
Heart Event @ 10:
Stan is leading Farmer past the railroad tracks, he doesn't even seem bothered much anymore to be here. He leads them up the path that he's taken a thousand times. There he leads them to the summit, his favorite spot to be at. They sit together at the edge if the cliff with their legs dangling off the side. He admits to them that he liked coming up here a lot as a kid, when his dad and him would fight it was his little hiding spot. Then he brought Kyle and it became special. The days where he'd get stupid drunk he'd think about just falling forward like that day with the train. But it's because of those amazing memories with his best friend, he could never bring himself to do it. They're special and he wouldn't want to ruin them for Kyle. It's things like that, that remind him why he's alive. Things like you. He smiles at the Farmer and tells you this. Tells Farmer he wants to continue to make more memories with them so he has a reason. His hand inches closer to theirs, not quite touching. Before he can pull away, Farmer takes his hand and slides closer to him. They rest their head on his shoulder and look up towards the big illuminated moon that's in front of them. Stan wraps his arm around them and lays his cheek on top of their head.
"Every moment with you reminds me why I'm here. I'm not...perfect and I don't think I'll ever understand why you choose to stick around. But I meant what I said, I want you around me always. I can breath with you around."
Heart Event @ 14:
Stan's outside playing with Sparky and Farmer's pet, when he moved in he brought his beloved dog with him. Sparky seems to be getting better every day he's here and Stan couldn't be happier. Farmer walks up with hearts in their eyes, making him a little bashful. He rubs the back of his neck just as Sparky brings the ball back. He mentions that he really loved animals, and that he's always had a soft spot for them. Farmer questions him about his love for Survival Burgers, which he quickly points out that they're made of Cave Carrot NOT beef! After a little while of playing with the pets he sits in the field with them, looking over their hardwork. Stan turns red and starts ranting about how the last time he went to visit his dad, he started nagging him about grandkids. He's embarrassed because Randy has never mentioned it before and it makes him uncomfortable.
"He's such an ass! You'd think he'd stop trying to tell me how to live my life after I moved out. Why doesn't he bother Shelly with this?!"
-> He probably does. We don't have to have kids if you don't want them! I'm just happy you're here with me! Don't let him get to you!
-> Don't let your dad pressure you into anything you're not ready for. It's our relationship and we'll decide when and if we want kids. But if you're anything like you are with Sparky towards kids, I think you'd be a great dad!
If First Option: Stan grins and tells them they're right as always. He leans down and kisses the top of their head. Sparky walks over with the Farmer's pet and lays in their lap. Stan smirks and makes a comment about how they could just get another dog.
"Our farm is big enough for another one right? We could get one or two more puppies. They could help with the sheep and chickens! Help dig holes!"
If Second Option: Stan says he'll think on it. Later that night while Farmer is cleaning up the dishes and putting them away. Stan walks up behind them and wraps his arms around them. He murmurs in their ear that he's been doing nothing but thinking about what they said. The thought of starting a family with them is starting to sound appealing, plus it could be fun raising a mini them. He presses a kiss into their temple.
"You really think I'll make a good dad? I just don't wanna end up like mine...but if you're with me I think I could do it. And if they're anything like you, they'll be an amazing kid."
Random Marriage Quotes!!
"You looked really adorable asleep last night...you also drooled on my arm."
"Having a bad thought day...I might be a little off today. I'm sorry."
"Babe, you got dirt on your face. C'mere, let me clean it. Just let me take care of you butthead!"
"Sparky and I watered the crops today! How do you know how much to give them? I feel like I'm drowning them."
"Fed the animals! They're doing great! Would...you judge me if I took a nap out in the field with them?"
"Hey...real quick...I uh- I love you. I know I don't say it enough and I'm sorry, but I really do."
"Morning. Made you some pancakes! I stole the recipe from my mom! Why do you look scared?"
"Hey babe, I'm going to visit my parents today. Please feel free to come save me when you're done doing what you need to do."
"Are you coming to the tavern tonight? We're playing a new song tonight, I wrote it for you."
"You know, when I was a kid, when I got nervous, I'd throw up. You make me nervous sometimes but I- hey! I'm not going to puke on you, I'm not twelve. Get back here!"
idk maybe i like pc alcoholic stan....like idk i want to be his little housewife making him his little drinks and doting on him :( draping my arms over his shoulders while he tries the newest whiskey that was sent to him. i want to make him pies and cuddle up to him on the couch :( watching stupid movies i dont understand because he loves them
stan is def touch starved, he luvs when u initiate contact w him.
buries himself into ur neck, inhaling the smell of u. squeezes your thigh when you two sit together, into such cheesy romantic stereotypes and as much as he wuld find it cringy he wuld 100% do it w u.
ex. making a song for u
AAAAHHH hes adorbs !! he (tries to) act chill but hes sweating..
