♛♛♛

©

[ploobytumbls]

I took a bus to a conference today and the bus driver fully stopped the bus to identify and chastise a person who was playing music out loud on their phone. That is how you get me to actually complete the customer service survey specifically so I can give you top ratings

[ploobytumbls]

It's days later and I'm still thinking about this man. Full ass bus pulled over to the side of a state highway with the hazards on, stalking down the center aisle intoning "ALL RIGHT. WHO'S GOT IT. YOU CAN'T HAVE IT ON SPEAKER." I want to commission a statue of him. a hero. a king.

[ahotknife]

the thing is that childhood doesn't just end when you turn 18 or when you turn 21. it's going to end dozens of times over. your childhood pet will die. actors you loved in movies you watched as a kid will die. your grandparents will die, and then your parents will die. it's going to end dozens and dozens of times and all you can do is let it. all you can do is stand in the middle of the grocery store and stare at freezers full of microwave pizza because you've suddenly been seized by the memory of what it felt like to have a pizza party on the last day of school before summer break. which is another ending in and of itself

[clearestbluest]

<3

[shining-bewear]

[pronouncingitwang]

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

[yokowan]

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

[le-jardin-inculte]

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

[shithowdy]

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

[treasuredplanet]

I think that when you're overstimulated you should appear kind of grayed out and no one should be able to interact with you like a locked character in a video game

[guerrillatech]

[pornhubstepmom-deactivated20191]

[babygoose-deactivated20240106]

op delete this now

[madfanboy]

If I had to see this, then all of you have to as well

[sepdet]

“You can do what you want with my music, just don’t make it boring” — Freddie Mercury

i… guess this counts

[bob-artist]

Crimetober 1-9

Because birds are criminals.

[textmessagepolicy]

[srsfunny]

[kawaiimunism]

Download Firefox

Install uBlock Origin

If you use Chrome, Firefox has a feature to import your bookmarks, passwords, and other data when you switch.

You deserve software that doesn’t hate you, switch to Firefox <3 🦊

[kawaiimunism]

Other good extensions:

Privacy Possum is an anti-tracking extension that not only blocks commercial trackers, it also fucks with them by generating nonsense data.

Forget Me Not is a cookie management tool that lets you choose whether/how sites can store cookies on your computer on a site-by-site basis.

Bypass Paywalls Clean does exactly what it says: allows you to bypass paywalls on news sites and the like.

SponsorBlock uses crowd-sourced data to block sponsored segments on YouTube videos. Now you never have to hear about NordVPN or Raycon ever again!

Breakthrough Twitter Login Wall is another “what it says on the tin” extension. It stops Twitter from trying to force you to log in, so you can browse anonymously in peace.

[s-n-arly]

Just a reminder that Google is garbage and Firefox is a better option.

[sneefsnorf]

im gods weakest faggot

[crabussy]

i’m gods strongest tranny let’s team up. what if we called ourselves team rocket

[cedar-scars]

im gods most literate cat can i join

[garcavisconde]

"i need to clean my room / do the dishes / do the laundry" = boring, horrific, makes it seem like a burden.

"i'm tending to my realm / the magic tower needs maintenance / i'm restoring the kingdom to what it was" = beautiful, amazing, spetacular, joyful, full of childlike wonder, actually describes what the task feels like as opposed to what it is

[homunculus-argument]

A demon simply called The Brother. It doesn't have siblings or any family, and it's ambiguous whether that creature itself is even male at all. It just keeps turning everything and everyone into broth.

[sleepy-bebby]

Badgers and coyotes hunt together. It's a thing. The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service explains that “studies have shown that this unusual relationship is beneficial for both species. The coyote can chase down prey if it runs and the badger can dig after prey if it heads underground into its burrow systems.”

[mugwomps]

Hanging out with your bestie

[underthehedge]

The genus Canis just fuckin loves teaming up with other species.

[the-haiku-bot]

The genus Canis

just fuckin loves teaming up

with other species.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[nhy6ck-deactivated20260222]

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[special-lucky-chosen-one]

my nephew, who is like 11 or 12, is playing “5D Chess With Multiverse Time Travel”, which is exactly what it says on the tin, and I have never been more terrified of the youth of today

[special-lucky-chosen-one]

here’s a sample picture from the Steam page:

what the hell is this

[eusocia-deactivated20210518]

[eusocia-deactivated20210518]

[scheherazade-suite]

Always reblog the 5D chess with multiverse time travel horror

[mercuryvibes]

Honestly? Shoutout to those of you who are completely fucking lost in life. Those who don’t know what they want to do with life. Those who are stuck in a certain part of life and can’t get out. Those who are reaching for dreams they feel are impossible to reach. Those who feel like they’re accomplishments are being overlooked. Those who feel like their enough just isn’t enough. It is. You can make it. You will make it. There is an opening at the end of the tunnel.

[clubdreamm-deactivated20210114]