Laertes

'Words, words, words!' Generally over-analysing literature and/or making lit memes @Wittenberg

[laertesbean]

Being an English Lit student in the last week of assessments means accidentally inventing words in your essays. What do you mean reenvisionment isn't a word?

[laertesbean]

RIP Anne Brontë you'd have loved Chappell Roan

[laertesbean]

Out of context English Literature lecture:

"I do think Hozier has modelled himself on a young John Donne with specific reference to this portrait"

[laertesbean]

Gen Z spring cleaning

Deleting the 6.7k unread emails you have amassed over the last (6??) months as a burnt-out student

[laertesbean]

Me, a writer, being asked if the story I wrote with the character that is exactly like me in every way is about me:

[laertesbean]

Doing an English degree means learning so much about a topic that you no longer understand it but being able to bullshit well enough that you will somehow end up with top marks or just write about sex because that will also get you that 1st class

[laertesbean]

Gavroche: Watch out for old Thenardier, all of his family's on the make

✨️ Gavroche himself being a Thenardier ✨️

[laertesbean]

I'm a diehard Javert defender. My favourite chocolate is Magic Stars and I always have a packet on my desk to work with (usually whilst listening to Les Misérables ofc).

It took me until TODAY to notice...

✨️Stars, in your multitudes✨️

[laertesbean]

Love how as gen z we collectively made the silent decision to never talk about Riverdale again, I'll never forget/forgive the cringe that was "It's Sherriff Jones now, boy!" 😉

[laertesbean]

The pinnacle of dark academia is reading the entire Henriad for ✨️funsies✨️ when you have three totally unrelated uni assignments due in during the next week 💀

Feeling like I was written by Donna Tartt 🙃

[laertesbean]

You know how when you go to a writing group and they're all like ✨️tHeRe ArE nO wRoNg ThInGs To SaY hEre✨️?

They are liars!

I was at a writing group a few months ago and they said we would go around the room and, as an icebreaker, say six words. No biggie, I thought. I've done an icebreaker like this before.

I was first and I said, 'snake, grapes, banana, blue, arboretum'.

A moment's silence. I begin to think people are looking at me weirdly but write this off to me being paranoid.

And what did the next person say?

'Just woke up, feeling energetic today'

!!!!

Everybody else answered like that.

Hence why I'll never sit at the start of a circle ever again.

Hate my literal brain 🙃

[laertesbean]

Me, a student, each time I hand in an essay for the degree I voluntarily chose to do: Dobby is a free elf!!!!

[laertesbean]

Remember when British secondary schools were so shit at teaching French but fixated on teaching us mainly just how to say what was in our pencil case?

And now the only French you know is a song about what pets you have, Frère Jacque and 'Dans ma trousse'...

[laertesbean]

Big Brother this year has given me more heartache than all of Shakespeare's work combined could ever 💔

[laertesbean]

Grandma-dark academia core: All I want for Christmas is Judi Dench's Shakespeare memoirs and William Morris's The Strawberry Thief bedding (I am 20)

[laertesbean]

EnGliSh LiTeRaTuRe Is NoT rElAtAbLe

Me: Samuel Taylor Coleridge is literally me

[laertesbean]

Me, trying to focus: Brain, concentrate. I'm an adult.

My Horrible Histories kid brain: Stay calm-a when you want to harm a llama, call a llama farmer!!!