for her, from her

A blog dedicated for female Muslims to discuss topics related to us in all forms. Religion, health, marriage, family, studies, work and life in general.

[laha-minha]

Assalamu alykum akhawat!

It has been a long while. I'm hoping to work more on this blog. What are some topics you wish to see more of?

-----

Recently, with the marriage season, I have been talking to my single friends, reminding them not to compare nor let the pressure get in. How do you handle such situations and not fall into the trap of marrying "the first one" or else you'll "miss out?"

[unbovvered]

This is a comprehensive book on marriage; from choosing your spouse, the wedding, starting a family, raising your children, rights and responsibilities of each one, divorce and dealing with problems etc. All under the guidance of the Qur'an and Sunnah. Uses simple, classical Arabic and can be read all at once or in parts according to which part one needs.

Highly recommended for every Muslim, single or married. It truly orients us the youth to the correct ways in this whole process.

[laha-minha]

I will be sharing some parts in sha Allaah, especially the hygiene and physiology of sexual organs.

[laha-minha]

On PMS and how to tackle it

I was talking to my friend about our productivity (or lack of) these days and she mentioned how she feels stuck for many reasons including the fact that she is PMSing. She said that females have two weeks each month to be normal and the rest is wasted in PMS and the menses and I agree. For some it is more or less. For some it is pain, others it is mood swings.

For me, what helps is acknowledging it. Knowing that what you're feeling could be that. It reached a level where my family could tell whether I'm serious or just under the influence of my emotions and hormones.

Follow the schedule of your menses and document your feelings. With time, you actually overcome it. You won't cry as much because you know it is just a phase that will pass by.

Establish a support system from your family and/or friends who will help you at that short period of time and will try to absorb your negative energy.

This worked for me. Tell me what works for you?

[laha-minha]

I went to a shop to select material for black abaya. I found it sad how nearly all designs have some form of decoration. I told the guy who will make my abaya that I want it plain. Of course, not only is it cheaper but also correct because we shouldn't make fashion out of hijab. It should be covering, not an attraction. And it got me thinking how we got to this point. Why do we lie to ourselves and assume that this is hijab? I ask this myself when I see myself wearing skirts and long blouses instead of an abaya. We should work harder on this and do things for the sake of Allaah.

What steps have you taken to improve your hijab?

[laha-minha]

On niqab and hijab; the struggles in between.

One of my close friends was on the phone with me yesterday speaking about something that has been making her anxious for a while. She is struggling with her niqab because of how certain people are treating her because of it. Unfortunately, prostitutes in Sudan sometimes hide behind it for whatever reasons they have (to hide their identity while on the streets) and due to this, some people assume that every niqabi could be one. It is sad, and absolutely disgusting. She was abused by her driving instructor who overstepped his boundaries and physically abused her thinking that she could be one. Cars would stop when she is waiting to cross the road to "pick her up". These instances have been experienced by me as well and I just brush it off and if I have the time, I curse him to hell (not really, I just ignore them and pretend I didn't see them sign for me to "come over")

But everyone is different in dealing with these struggles and we need to give other Muslims the space where they can better themselves without judging them nor being too harsh. I reminded her of its virtues and told her that although ignoring these people is better and will make her stronger, she can still take it off. A trial of a month or so, so that she can experience what may be different (if any). Sick people are sick regardless of what you wear but with the connection I made earlier, I tell you, the struggle is real.

The whole "all or none" mentality when it comes to worshipping Allaah جل جلاله is destructive. One can fall short on some things, including observing the niqab. As a part-time niqabi, I get criticized a lot. No one ever thinks or says "it is good that you're wearing it on some days so you will get the reward for that!". Nah. Everyone thinks it is mocking the religion, lack of full commitment, weak iman etc. Stop. Stop belittling those who try. Stop making Islam look difficult because it isn't. Islam is the religion of mercy, of repentance after sins, of starting over and over and over again until death takes our souls or the sun rises from the west.

This brings me to the topic of hijab and specifically sisters who observe the hijab during Ramadhan only. Let. Them. Be. Let them get close to Allah سبحانه و تعالى with what they can. Do NOT demotivate them or call them hypocrites. They are trying too. They are rewarded if Allaah عز و جل accepts that from them.

To keep it short: give Muslims the space where they can learn how to reach Allah عز و جل without making it more difficult than it is. Do not side with the shaytan against your sisters/brothers. Have some mercy and encourage each other to do better and better and never make them feel as if they got no chance because honestly, who told you that Allaah accepted any of your deeds?

[laha-minha]

The idea of this blog came from my own thoughts regarding women-related topics that one feels like sharing in a female-friendly environment. Soon to be a doctor, I would like to also use my knowledge in Obstetrics and Gynecology to help answer some questions any sister may have. I am not an expert nor a student of knowledge and we are all here learning.