Homework has me like
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@laknights99
Homework has me like
Finals have me like
I know I never cross your mind,
but you cross mine from time to time
And I wish I could say thank you now
since I couldn't say it back then
But I know better than
to go down your road again
//
Because if I showed up on your front porch
you wouldn't want to see my face
I imagine we remember
that night quite differently
//
And I wish I could say sorry
since I know now how terrible it feels
to shake someone who can't take a hint
because every sign flies over their head
But I know better than
to go down your road again
//
Because if I called you on your phone
you wouldn't want to hear my voice
Honestly, I don't blame you
I wouldn't want to hear from me either
//
And I wish I could ask about the memory
I've had since I was ten
because you're the only one
who could tell me if I imagined it
But I know better than
to go down your road again
Every once in a while,
your story crosses my mind
You were pulling my leg, all in good fun,
and when I flash back
to that beer soaked memory
I remember your laugh
The gleam in your eye
And your backpedal apology
When I told you you sucked
//
We met at the wrong time
The wrong place, the wrong moment
And maybe I was disappointed,
but I wasn't surprised
And I'll never know what might've happened
had I traveled to Ypsilanti
Got caught up in the rager
before it was busted by cops
The Nice Guy
I don't like nice guys
They're overrated
Self-inflated, pompous douche bags
Shouting from the sidelines
that not all men are dicks
and throwing tantrums when
the object of their obsession
insists she wants to be just friends
//
I don't like nice guys
There's a reason experienced women
lock them out and ban them from their bed
They have the foresight I lacked
They listen to their gut
and trust in others' wisdome
The sister who told them to run
The mother who knew it all along
But I had to make my own mistakes
And, damn, did I make them
//
I don't like nice guys
They don't take no for an answer
They push and push
and trick you with lies
Until you throw your hands up and say, "Fine"
because they're a nice guy,
and how bad could it be?
Seeing if this thing might work
They aren't an asshole,
or so you think
//
And only later do you realize
that a real man, a real good guy,
wouldn't railroad you like the asshole did
Wouldn't keep going when they shouldn't
Take advantage of your inexperience
It wasn't criminal, what happened to me
I won't be scared for life
I won't make
that same mistake twice
//
I don't like nice guys
You don't get brownie points
for treating women like human beings
for not raping them when they're intoxicated
for listening when they talk
or being a shoulder to cry on
You aren't intitled to their body
because you "respect" it
They have no obligation to sleep with you
A real man understands that
//
I don't like nice guys
And if I meet another one,
I'll run the other way
Me doing my chem hw that is due tomorrow.
I hate that you do this to me
I sincerely doubt
you're as ignorant as you seem
Stupid, now that I believe
As for everything else
You know exactly what you're doing
You hooked me once
I took the bait
and now you are my greatest mistake
//
If I could go back in time
I'd change everything
For the love of God,
stop saying you love me
You can't possibly love me
You don't fucking know me
//
You put me on this pedestal
Three months, I was a Cool Girl
Spending money like it grows on trees
Letting you do anything
And I'm not innocent
I used you
You aren't innocent
You used me, too
If I cracked a couple beers
and downed them in succession
They'd give me the nerve I'm missing now
The nerve I had when I was seventeen
and thought I knew everything
When I thought having you would save me
When I needed a prince in shining armor
to ride in on a vallient steed,
take me away,
and give me everything I'd been missing
//
I'm not that person anymore
If you met me on the street,
I doubt you'd recognize me
Because I don't need you anymore
I don't need anyone
Not like that, not like I did
I saved myself
I never needed a prince
//
And if I could speak to you again
I'd thank you for walking away
when I wanted you to stay
I'd thank you for picking up the phone
and telling me no
Because you were right and I was wrong
and I can admit that now
You cross my mind from time to time
Sometimes I wonder what would happen
if I called you up
tracked you down
said, "Hey, what's goin' on now?"
//
I made a good first impression
and screwed up the rest
I'm sure you'd turn off your phone
if you heard from me again
So I'm writing this
instead of finding your number
I'm flipping coins for answers
rather than taking the risk
It's been two years since I asked you to dance
When we talked all night
over whiskey and wine
So many little conversations I don't remember
Because I was a little too young
to be drinking that much
A little too young to understand
that that moment wouldn't last
And I got over you
a long time ago,
but today I realized
I haven't let go
The Heavy
It settles in
Makes itself at home
A parasite
feeding off the same brain that created it
And the only antidote
is being so busy
I'm spinning my wheels
tearing my hair out
Because when the break neck speed
suddenly stops
I'm left high and dry
and my demons come out
Slipped through my fingers
Why am I writing this?
The Fates have decided
I'll never see you again
and if I do, it'll be too late
I lost my chance
//
I was too drunk
and not drunk enough
Everything I didn't say
Broken record on repeat
What's my lesson now?
How many times will Venus jerk me around?
//
I'm flipping coins for answers
Searching the sky for signs
I know how this ends
I've been here before
The Fates have snipped their thread,
closed another door
//
I don't trust what's happening now
Does he like me, does he not?
Plucking petals off imaginary flowers
One more pseudoscience
not providing answers
From my novel-in-progress, "You Don't Need to Save Me"
I love her very much, but my cat is a furry little asshole. She just knocked my last cookie onto the floor and walked away.
Just finished Supernatural season 13. The ending was unbelievable, except, of course, this isn't the first time a Winchester has been tricked and possessed by an angel. I have faith Dean will return. Anyway, now I'm watching The Conjuring. Alone. And I'm not sure that's a good idea.
So, I had this dream last night where I walked into Sam's Club and they had this huge display of Supernatural T-shirts, which I got super psyched about. Anyway, I spent the majority of the dream trying to take a selfie with the T-shirt display behind me so I could share my incredible find on Instagram, but the damn camera on my phone wouldn't work right and I'm not really sure what that means.
Doing some writing. Watching some Supernatural. Throwing back to the Speak Now Era. Being psyched to see @taylorswift perform Aug. 28.