It Was an Almost, But Always a Nothing
What hurts the most is that I’m still thinking of you,
knowing full well you’re not thinking of me.
My heart still aches at the thought of you,
and I dislike myself for it—
because I promised I wouldn’t let myself be hurt again.
I told myself I’d walk away first.
But it turns out I still have a lot to learn.
I should’ve walked away the moment you said
you couldn’t be that person for me.
I should’ve walked away
when you said, “It’s not you, it’s me.”
I should’ve walked away
when you said you just wanted to keep me
in a box—tucked away.
I should’ve walked away
when you said you’d think back someday
and smile at the memories we made.
I should’ve walked away
when you said you needed more time.
But then you talked about future trips,
dates, and plans together—
you called me yours,
you said I was your best friend,
and I believed it.
So I stayed.
Even when deep down,
I knew it was never going to be me.
And maybe that’s the hardest part—
knowing I stayed,
when I should’ve walked away.
It was an almost,
but always a nothing.
- yourstruly.iav
