writing is easy actually. all you have to do is tell people what happened
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@lambonarocket
writing is easy actually. all you have to do is tell people what happened
I think ilya should get his ass ate for his birthday
Heated Rivalry | Episode 5 | I’ll Believe in Anything
today i made a cappuccino with almond milk and said out loud: "man, this would kill Shane Hollander" and then i had to remind myself Shane Hollander is not real.
and even real fake him isn't allergic to almonds 🤣
shane + svetlana + cliff organize banger birthday party for ilya. shane is VERY insistent that it has to be before his actual birthday. cliff isn't sure why, but svetlana knows...
he's spending his actual birthday getting freakay, somehow managing to be more freakay than the year before and the year before that and so on. he and shane will be feeling it for a week. shane and ilya are so excited
ilya has a little hockey angel on his shoulder and it speaks to him in shane’s voice
Happy Birthday, Ilya!
CONNOR STORRIE and HUDSON WILLIAMS Best Press Moments | Heated Rivalry
Heated Rivalry, p. 159
hey so if my math is right Ilya Rozanov turned thirty right before he and Shane got married. Which means that by the time hollanov got married, he’d known Shane for longer than he’d known his own mom. And according to most headcanons, he’d surpassed Irina's age as well.
Anyway, happy birthday Ilya ❤️
"Happy Birthday, Ilya", Shane Hollander & Ilya Rozanov [Hudson Williams & Connor Storrie]
Jun 2026
Summary: A quiet birthday dinner with Shane's family shouldn't feel like much. For Ilya, it feels like everything. Sometimes the best gifts are the people who choose to keep showing up.
Read on AO3
MYHOLLANOV
shane and ilya torturing each other when they’re apart❤️
ilya rozanov week & day one -> favourite moment
he's a star athlete. he's an orphan. he's bisexual. he's depressed. he's a dog dad. he's a sex symbol. he's a retired hoe. he's traumatized. he's a nhl captain. he's a character of all time. happy birthday, ilya rozanov.
Ilya wakes up alone on his birthday.
Fully wakes up, at least. He has a hazy recollection of Shane pressing a kiss to his temple and whispering "happy birthday, baby" as he got out of bed, but it had been too early, still dark out, and Ilya had been too sleepy, snuggling into the warm patch left behind by Shane and letting himself get pulled back under by sleep.
But when he eventually blinks his eyes open for real, he's alone in the bed. On their bedside table is a small stuffed bear and a handwritten note from Shane: "Happy birthday! I'll be back soon. Get dressed - wear something nice but comfy. Love you <3"
Ilya pulls on a favorite t-shirt and shorts before padding downstairs. There's a box of donuts and another small bear on the counter, which makes Ilya smile. Hopefully his husband makes an appearance soon, but in the meantime, he could do worse than help himself to a jelly donut or two.
Soon enough, he hears Shane's key in the door. Dropping the bag he'd been carrying, Shane beelines to Ilya, licking the sugar out of his mouth and murmuring happy birthday against his lips before pulling away with a smile. "I'm kidnapping you," he says with a grin, holding up a bandanna. Ilya barely has a chance to protest before Shane's tying it snug-but-not-too-tight over his eyes, carefully tugging it just into place before pressing a kiss to Ilya's knuckles and leading him by the hand out the door and into the car.
It probably isn't too long a car ride, but it's hard to keep track of time and distance when you're blindfolded. (In truth, he can see a tiny bit if he crosses his eyes and looks down his nose, but he wants to play along.) Shane refuses to give any clues, no matter how much Ilya wheedles, and firmly moves Ilya's hand when it wanders over to his crotch (though he lets Ilya rest it on his inner thigh, just where the hem of his shorts meets the skin, and that alone feels like birthday present enough).
Soon Shane's pulling the car onto a gravel road, car bumping along and eventually swinging into a parking spot. "Don't get out yet - I'll come around to you," Shane says, unclicking his seatbelt and opening his door, long enough for Ilya to make out--
"I hear Ke$ha," he says when Shane opens his door.
Shane laughs, "Yeah, they've got her playing. I gave them a whole list."
"Them?"
"You'll see."
The sun is warm on Ilya's skin as Shane leads him over grass, and he can smell... sugar. Cotton candy? Popcorn, too, he thinks.
"Shane, did you...?"
"Okay, here we are!" Shane brings them a stop and reaches up to untie Ilya's blindfold, kissing his cheek as he does so.
It takes a moment for Ilya's eyes to adjust to the bright sunlight, but then--
"You got me a carnival?"
"Rented you a carnival. For the day. They were already in town, I just paid them to stay an extra day."
The Cens are there and their families, the Pikes, David and Yuna and Svetlana, as many people as could make it, and they have the place to themselves. They play all the games on the fairway, and Shane wins Ilya an enormous stuffed bear to accompany the smaller ones at home. Ilya gets his face painted like a tiger and roars as he chases after the Pike kids, eventually collapsing when they tackle him to the ground. He eats more sugar and fried food than he knew was possible.
But the best part is the dunk tank, where Ilya gets to repeatedly knock Hayden into the water and laugh every time he comes up spluttering (all in exchange for an extremely generous donation from Shane to the charity of Hayden's choice).
That night Shane brings out a pair of handcuffs to go with the blindfold, uses both on Ilya while he fingers him, back arching off the bed as he comes untouched as Shane murmurs encouragements and presses kisses to his thighs.
It's a perfect day.