Pool Boy at the Vampire Mansion

Brittany / 29 / she/they / INFJ Like if beevis and butthead was a girl

[blackvelvetofnight]

you're just mad that my presence is haunting and offputting and yours isn't

[gogumagirl]

[threedollarsdotcom]

theyre taking me out back behind the shed presumably to give me a medal for my valor and heroism

[cheaphalloweencostume]

i love how Indeed is like

tailored for you! here’s your shortlist of job opportunities that perfectly match your preferences and abilities as an artist with clerical career skills:

-booger farmer (45 miles away)

-astronaut (5 minutes away)

[cheaphalloweencostume]

and neither of them are actually hiring

[cheaphalloweencostume]

like

[cheaphalloweencostume]

cool new slang for organizing your closet “i’m gonna become a sales designer for closet world”

[segamascott]

[depsidase]

[lambopticon]

Cats don’t like when I sing limp bizkit songs to them because I start doing Fred Durst impressions and I can’t do that without sounding scared.

[junk-thunder]

girl at bar: heyyy is that a bluetooth speaker in your pocket or is your penis just loud ;)

me: how did you speak a winky face

moral of the story: loud penis

[crabanarchy]

They say ooooh be a good boy for daddy and you'll get a reward. But then the reward is just gay sex. This is bullshit. I wanted a skateboard

[crabanarchy]

Then they say if you're a bad boy daddy will punish you. But what's the punishment? More gay sex! You can't escape it. This whole damn place is in the pocket of Big Sex

[sexy-people-contests-2026]

Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Round 1 Part 79

Bowser (Nintendo)

Scrub Daddy (Real Life)

Mr. Ant Tenna (Deltarune)

Remaining time: 4 days 13 hours

Tenna fanart is by @9Aaaalt29 on twt

[dogpuppy]

About to go pick up a couple of Bidens at the local Menards

[dogpuppy]

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

sorry to be a broken record every month but christ menstruation is a stupid concept. oooooh excuse me for not getting pregnant, why the fuck is there goo falling out of me about it? grow the fuck up and reabsorb that shit for nutrients.

[anxietyproblem]

[circumgutter]

[paperandpencilsandskips]

The Magnanimous Airplane

[kawuli]

well, the ears dropped

[dogpuppy]

[squirrelly-13]

they got married btw

[visit-me-here-in-wonderland]

oh you’re not kidding

[fangorn-forest]

summer sufferers poll: would you rather have…

the ability to repel all bugs so they can’t touch/bite/sting you

the ability to always be at a comfortable temperature while outside

no chafing ever again

Remaining time: 5 days 8 hours