Lana Ezell

aspiring author of YA fiction @lanaezell

[lanaezell]

Follow me at aili.tumblr.com

Hey, I don’t even know if anyone reads this, but I’m MOVING sites.

If you have been following me, basically the TL;DR is that I’ve been working on a Young Adult novel for almost two years now. I did #NaNoWriMo twice (won once!) and have about 200K words in a 1.5x edited draft.

I started my potential pen name, Lana Ezell, because I wanted to keep my writing private and separate from my given name, Aili Weeks, while I worked out if I had enough potential to really do something with my writing.

Well, I’m ready to try, even if I fail. I’m finally in a writer’s class and submitted the first 4 chapters of my Work in Progress YA novel. I got great feedback and even my teacher said I should pursue publishing!

I’m sure there are bound to be falls (flat on my face) on top of stumbles and hurdles and straight up walls, but I want to try to get it published. 

I need a real following, so I think using my real name and connecting with my friends IRL is probably the best way to build up more of a following and Internet presence.

Please, if anyone reading this has gone through this experience and has any advice, I would love to hear it.

In the meantime, I’m moving all of my posts to aili.tumblr.com

My Twitter is Here @AiliAmanda

My Instagram Is Here @Aili 

I hope to be able to share some exciting updates, and I hope you’ll follow me on my new/old Tumblr!

[grimes-claireboucher]

Grimes: The Books That Made Me

— February 19, 2016 — Mercurial musician Claire Boucher, aka Grimes, has a taste in literature that’s as far-reaching as her own sonic universe. Here, she selects five of her most influential reads Photo: Grimes for AnOther Magazine S/S16 ,photography by Craig McDean, styling by Alex White Text: Claire Boucher 1) The Idiot, Fyodor Dostoyevsky “I really relate to the particular type of mental instability that Dostoyevsky describes in pretty much all of his work. A character starts talking, and things start getting out of control and become increasingly animated, intense and disturbing. It reads like an extreme version of how I feel whenever I have to interact with humans. The Idiot is probably my favourite of his works, because I love Nastasya Filipovna, Aglaya Ivanovna Epanchin, Rogozhin… I think a lot of my friends think I’m a bit like Nastasya! Anyway, it’s the most cartoonish and absurd of everything I’ve read by Dostoyevsky, and the best distillation of insanity as a virtue. A Baz Luhrmann-esque treatment of this book would make an incredible film.”

 2) The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck “For some reason I became enraptured by this book as a teenager. It smelled really amazing and dusty. I think our copy was from the 1940s and the pages would crumble as I turned them. I’ve never been so careful while reading a book, and I think that really endeared it to me. I’m very calmed by methodical descriptions of farming. The images of opium addiction amongst the wealthy Chinese aristocracy, who ‘smoked the flesh off their bones’, always come back to my mind; it’s so decadent and horrifying.”  

3) Solaris by Stanislaw Lem “This book scared the shit out of me. I picked it up after watching the film adaptation by Tarkovsky, which is one of my favourite movies. Sometimes I feel like the only explanation for human life is that our planet is a terrible god. I like thinking that planets are living, sentient behemoths that we completely misunderstand. I’m horrified to think what it would be like if such an abstract sentience had no regard for us, or enjoying toying with us. The act of repeatedly killing a doppelganger or a loved one seems so horrific; how could anyone think of something so awful? Whenever people pour cream into coffee in a clear glass, it reminds me of this book, because that’s what I imagine the surface of Solaris to look like."  4) My Fight/Your Fight by Ronda Rousey "I was so touched by this book. I relate to Ronda in such an intense way, like I’ve almost never related to anybody my age – at least in the media. As a female producer who won’t work with co-producers, sometimes I feel like I don’t have any peers. When I first discovered Ronda, I was so moved that she was literally responsible for women entering the Ultimate Fighting Championship; that she walked into a man’s world and made it her own, even though everybody acted like she was crazy and didn’t think she could do it, or claimed that she only got there because of her looks. Everything, from being constantly exhausted because of eating issues, to the shame at being considered too masculine, to having no coach or mentor willing to train you, is something I have dealt with being a woman in a man’s industry. I also completely understand the commitment to being an entertainer whilst simultaneously perfecting your craft, and the kind of vitriol that this inspires from people on either end of the spectrum. Her dedication to being an autodidact, and the degree to which she has to train mentally to deal with the long hours and exhausting work, really struck me as both instructive and deeply relatable. This book changed my life, and made me feel so much less alone. I think all girls should read it.”

 5) The Flowers of Evil by Charles Baudelaire “I’m not typically interested in poetry, but I discovered The Flowers of Evil in high school as I was just becoming a goth and getting into Trent Reznor – and everyone else was getting into the Beat poets, who I find comparably boring if we’re going to discuss druggy, surrealist poetry. This work is so visceral, filthy and gorgeously written. It feels like a distillation of the opium scenes from Pearl S. Buck’s The Good Earth, but more abstract and extensively documented. This one poem is just a disgusting, sexual description of a corpse that is permanently burned into my mind.”

 This feature is extracted from the Document section of AnOther Magazine S/S16, guest-edited and illustrated by Grimes, edited by Hannah Lack.   source

[lanaezell]

About Grimes’ “Art Angels”

I adore this album. I've been listening to it practically non-stop since it was released.

I have so much respect and awe for Grimes as a female producer and musician. I love that I can really feel her music through her voice, her lyrics, and her production. I love that she learned instruments just to improve her music, like violin on this album. She's so inspiring to me!

The pop vs. weird argument is kind of strange to me. What's so disappointing about pop? I love that Grimes stretches the feminine, highlights the so-called girliness and makes it into something powerful. I see that as a bit of a theme of this record, a lot of representation of female power in its most feminine form - high pitched vocals, catchy pop hooks that people are referring to as bubblegum, and in your face lines referencing the stuff she's experienced as a woman.

Grimes, and this album, remind of Sailor Moon . The Sailor Senshi (Scouts) are hyper feminine with short skirts, long legs, bright girly colors, beautiful and hourglass and cute. And they can kick fucking ass. They beat the bad guys by using heart shaped chains, wands with gems in them, heels and short skirts, and colors and lights and just straight up girl power.

I see this album as Grimes taking a lot of this kind of feminine and showing how strong it can be.

California: "You only like me when you think I'm looking sad." - we only valued Grimes when her music came from dark places. "Oblivion" from Visions is about a sexual assault - about as sad and dark as you can get. Grimes also locked herself in a room and took amphetamines in order to meet the deadline for Visions. I just think she is in a better, happier place right now. And she's drawing strength from it.

Scream: These lyrics are so intense. The devouring power of gender roles. "If you can't scream then swallow it down" but we have Grimes screaming the entire song. She doesn't swallow it down.

Kill V. Maim: "Cause I'm only a man, I do what I can." This is my favorite off of the album. I love how she moves from cheerleader chants into screams. Powerful and wild and awesome.

World Princess Pt. II: "How I used to be a frail and silly thought in your mind .... It's mine." She's taking ownership over her work and saying eff you to the haters who doubt that her work is her own.

Venus Fly: "Why you looking at me now? Why you looking at me again? What if I pulled my teeth? Cut my hair underneath my chin / Wrap my curls all around the world / Throw my pearls all across the floor, Feeling my beat like a sniper girl... BABY I CAN USE IT." Damn, mic drop on this song. Love that.

Butterfly: "If you're looking for a dream girl, I'll never be your dream girl." Says it all right there. Perfect way to end this album and its message. Grimes isn't the dream girl you thought she was. She feels more like herself in this album and feels like she's come to a new place in her life. She hopes her fans will love and appreciate her for that, but she also is saying with confidence that she won't bend to other people's wills. She's strong and powerful and awesome how she is and doesn't need to keep doing the same stuff she used to do in order to keep climbing through life.

[lanaezell]

I was so giddy yesterday when I was writing the second meeting scene between Celina and Isa. They are so freaking adorable.

I still can’t decide whether I should have them end in heartbreak. It’s so tragic... but also so good.

Heartbreak or HEA?

[thewritershandbook]

[yrbff]

How We Treat Mental Illness Vs. How We Treat Physical Illness

[memewhore]

God, seriously.

[mooncalfe-deactivated20231020]

also, i like these weird character designs.

[lyriquediscorde]

Yes.

[lanaezell]

And I was once all yours, too.

Widowspeak, “All Yours”

[lanaezell]

I long for you to hold me close -- for you to wrap me in piles of blankets and kiss the only remaining visible parts of my face.

[mysharona1987]

[heartlessharless]

Suspense is one of the trickier parts of writing to manage effectively because, as the author, you can’t experience your story the way a reader does. If you don’t have enough suspense, it can be difficult to keep your readers interested. If you have too much, frustrated and...

[legit-writing-tips]

Love is love is love, right? Well, not quite. Love changes over time, and different things are happening during these different stages of love. So today, in honor of Valentine’s Day, here’s a look at what’s going on in the different stages of love so you can craft even...

[lanaezell]

The Foul-o-Matic™ | Insult, swear & curse word generator

For all those foul-mouthed characters out there.

[lanaezell]

One day I'm going to grow wings a chemical reaction hysterical and useless

“Let Down” - Radiohead

[myredhand]

[renrevenge-deactivated20160327]

[frettedtoflame]

I’M FUCKING SCREAMING OMGGGGGG THE TIME HAS COME FOR THE 90S TO ROMANTICIZED BY NON-90S KIDS FUCK

[serotonin-up]

I feel like a legend.

[anidragon]

This is so fucking surreal.

[emmagrant01]

But like… I was there and this is not how I remember it at all.

[lanaezell]

omfg what makes this even more hilarious is the reference to New Found Glory = early 00′s = we are soo old.

[lanaezell]

MAN VS. SELF: The protagonist must overcome her own nature to reach her goal. All I want is _______, but I don't know if I can do it.

But how does this fit in with a mental health related struggle? Often outside help (therapy) is needed, so is the internal struggle accepting that you need help? Sometimes you need help accepting help. Hm...

[lanaezell]

Reason 938,531 that I'm loving "A Thousand Pieces of You"

"All the little irritations that I ever had with my Dad -- the way he refused to let me borrow the car, or made fun of my addiction to The Vampire Diaries..."

-Claudia Gray, "A Thousand Pieces of You"

[betterbooksandthings]

Can’t wait for The Ruby Circle to come out 2/10/15! Sydney and Adrian make me truly believe that love will conquer all!

[lanaezell]

Oh I can't wait for this either! I always loved Rose (from Vampire Academy series) and Adrian and wanted them together in that series, but Sydney is so great too and I love her relationship with Adrian and feel that they are a much better match :)