Doing another because I have a problem.
Humans had their advantages, they were calm and collected in stressful situations, were great creative problem solvers, bonded with the crew to keep everyone entertained, and never left a anyone behind. Plus they were so durable.
But they also come with their . . . Disadvantages. They were loud, disruptive, had a high chance of adopting some kind of deadly creature from a category 10 death planet.
So when the captain got their very first human resume for the position of typographer, to document their journey and the discoveries they made, the captain was anxious. But the captain decided to hire the human anyway.
To prepare the captain got everyone of their crew the human manuals.
How not to kill your human
How to keep your human happy
Your first human and what to expect
The captain spared no expense! They even got a catalog of appropriate spaceship pets so the human could pick one out.
For a mouth before their human boarded the ship every crewman studied, some were excited, some were afraid. They had all heard the stories of human and wanted to be prepared.
Then the day arrived to pick up their very first human crew mate and to all of their surprise the human came equipped with it own pet already!
The human introduced herself as Ame, surprising the captain because her resume had said amethyst but they had read up about the “nicknames” humans sometimes have themselves. She then introduced her pet as ‘kita’, some of the crew tried to touch the animal as they knew humans took offense to others not thinking their pets are the ‘cutest’. But the animal made threateningly noises and tried to snap at their collective appendages.
The captain was immediately worried that they had made a bad impression with one of the most deadly creatures in the universe but Ame just laughed and said “oh I’m sorry she’s sixteen so she’s a grumpy little land shark!”
The crew was confused and terrified, everyone had heard of the ‘shark’ it was lucky that they could only get you in the ocean but to know that there was a kind that was on land! How did these creatures survive!
After that the human left to get situated in her room. They didn’t expect much the first day, maybe see the human exploring, testing her new space but no one saw her at all for the entire day.
A few of the crew become worried she had gotten sick and went to check on her. They found her tucked into the corner typing something on her portable computer system, the ‘headphones’ as they were told the device was called covered her ears so she didn’t notice them.
Everyone was confused, because this was not what they had read. They were told the human would be curious about her surrounding and would poke her nose in everything. They had been prepared for that!
The captain shrugged and figured maybe their human was the shy and would do the normal human things later.
As time went by the crew became even more concerned, their human come did her work, then headed back to her room. At meals she smiled politely with her ‘land shark’ resting in her lap and just smiled politely, only talking sometimes.
She their human defective? They began looking up rare types of humans. At first they thought that maybe they had gotten the elusive ‘mom friend’ human. But that theory was thrown out when their ship connected with another and that ships human mentioned wanting to jump unprotected into freezing waters on the planet they were exploring. Ame only responded to the dangerous announcement with three solemn words. “You do you”
So she wasn’t a ‘mom friend’
She didn’t have the big camera contraption so she wasn’t the ‘wildlife photographer’ and she was only interested in her own pet so she wasn’t the ‘zookeeper’
Time wore on and a few of the crew found that particular subjects got their normally quiet human to explode with energy and excitement, waving her hands around as she talked about something called ‘anime’ and ‘The One Piece’. She normally quieted down quickly but it was a shock each time.
One day a crew member that had gotten rather close to the human finally just asked the burning question in all their minds.
“What do you do in your room all alone?”
The human looked up, startled by the question but they were all holding their breath. They had been told humans needed contact, that humans craved conversation, and touch but their human seemed completly fine without the extreme amounts of it all they had been told they’d have to give!
“I’m writing,” she answered before going back to her food.
“What are you writing?” The human-Ame then came alive with excitement babbling on for thirty minutes about some story she had made up in her head.
She went on and on before a sheepish smile overcame her face.
“Sorry I never come out, I like writing more than talking I guess and it takes a lot of hours to write a book.”
The crew was wide eyed and the captain excused himself to send a message to the council that they needed to add a category ‘writer’ to the human caretaking manuals.
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