Late-Breaking Los Alamos

All the Los Alamos News That Sure As Heck Ain't Fit to Print

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Beneath this pile of newspapers is the deep, hidden mystery of the universe

Just kidding, it’s just a pile of newspapers

http://www.ladailypost.com/content/papers-pile-los-alamos-home

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Stop the Presses. It’s a Wienermobile.

And it’s coming to Los Alamos. Could there BE bigger news? No, we thought not.

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Rare Lemon-lime Tree (aka. Tree in Fall)!

Actual headline reads: 'Lemon/Lime' Tree Spotted On East Road

I really, really wish I was making these up at this point. But sadly, no. That’s a real headline. This is a real picture of a slightly fall-colored tree. And this is...news? There are no words.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

To make it into the LA Daily Post, obvs.

So many questions. Is this chicken actually loose? Does it live here? Is it just minding its own business, eating bugs in its owner’s front yard? Most importantly - do we care? No. No we don’t. 

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Nice Marmot.

It’s a marmot. So I guess that’s exciting.

Full “story” here.

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We have a pond. Sometimes people walk around it.

Bet you thought there was more to this story. Yeah no. There isn’t. 

But if you need to read it, you can by clicking HERE.

[latebreakinglosalamos]

‘Tis but a shadow of the news...

Shadows on the wall of a grocery store. This is news in Los Alamos. Yes it is.

Light Casts Patterned Shadow At Smith's.

If you thought this was real news, not just a shadow of the news... go back into your cave.

[latebreakinglosalamos]

BIG change underway at local hardware store! Click to learn more!!!

And by big change, we mean they are changing their sign. But you clicked, didn’t you? Hahahahha! Sucker!

The LA Daily dabbles in clickbait. And I bet it worked. Heaven help us.

[latebreakinglosalamos]

Stop. The. Presses. There’s a hummingbird.

That’s all. Just thought you should know.

Hummingbird Spotted In Downtown Los Alamos  

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Zuni Cul-de-Sac Work Catches Resident's Eye

“I love that the headline is one step away from ‘area man takes picture of something’” - Erin, via Facebook. Original post HERE.

[latebreakinglosalamos]

Move along folks, there’s nothing to see here. Just a cloud... yeah. A cloud.

No, seriously, it’s just a cloud. It doesn’t really even look like anything.

I just. Can’t.

http://www.ladailypost.com/content/ghost-image-floats-cloud-above-los-alamos

[latebreakinglosalamos]

Eagle Sculpture Installed At Central Park Square

“‘We want to make Central Park Square an interesting and welcoming place for the community,’ Kunsberg said...’”

Because nothing...and I do mean nothing...says “Welcome!” quite like a giant, screaming eagle sculpture that looks like it’s going to swoop down and carry off your child or small dog and turn them into a quick snack.

This one is less a Daily Post fail than a Los Alamos fail. But a fail nevertheless. And how about those sidewalks? It’s the West. I guess we don’t need no stinkin’ sidewalks...

[latebreakinglosalamos]

Gator Spotted In Los Alamos Yard?

No. Not really. It’s actually a lizard. We don’t even know what kind of lizard, but now that you’ve clicked on our clickbait headline we don’t really care anymore about actually providing you with any information whatsoever.

Also: lizards in the desert? No, it can’t be!

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Did I call it, or did I call it?

http://www.ladailypost.com/content/rip-brownie-king-ashley-pond

An excerpt:

“Brownie was a pretty aggressive goose and was often seen terrorizing kids. That was his nature. I was once told that if you bow at a goose, they consider it a sign of respect. I tried it and it worked. He stopped chasing me and we became good pals.“

[latebreakinglosalamos]

Food Truck Arrives At Los Alamos Subway

Oh please god, let this foretell the end of the great Subway panic of ‘14 - ‘15. Please let this be the end.

[latebreakinglosalamos]

Baby Owls Spotted In La Senda In White Rock

The good news? Baby owls = totes adorbs.

The bad news? Baby owls = not actually news.

[latebreakinglosalamos]

Five-Foot Columbine Grows In White Rock Garden

Oh sweet Jesus. It’s the columbine that ate Los Alamos - or it’s about to be. 

5 whole feet tall?! Stop the presses! This is NEWS, people! Serious NEWS!

“Story” link HERE.