laurensamsmith

Writer, tweeter, social medialite. Whatever; figure it out. This is 90% me bitching and 10% drunken ramblings. So far. Probably NSFW, but not all of the time.

[sarahseeandersen]

I’m trying.

[blackgayze]

Me: Your total is $11.69

Customer: okay * gives me $12*

Me: *puts in amount*

Customer: oh wait, I think I have 69 cen-

[veryfunnymemes]

[just-shower-thoughts]

If you draw -2 -2 + = on your clothes or some paper or whatever with your finger it sounds like Chim Chiminey.

[languageoclock]

concept: me, speaking a foreign language, my pronunciation is perfect and my accent is indistinguishable from that of a native speaker. I am able to pepper my speech with slang and idioms and I can express subtle differences in meaning with ease. I have extensive knowledge of grammar and technical terms and produce well structured analyses of literature using correct writing conventions.

[just-shower-thoughts]

I wonder if my dog thinks I hold onto the leash so I won’t get lost

[just-shower-thoughts]

Why don’t toothpaste companies make a drowsy toothpaste so when you brush before bed it helps you sleep?

[guy]

when the artist u hate releases a catchy song

[laurensamsmith]

Omgomgomg

[laurensamsmith]

each generation of jedi is progressively less prepared for their first duel

Anakin: I have had years of training from the Jedi Order

Luke:I trained... for like 3 days with an out-of-practice old dude

Rey: What's this fuckin glowstick lol

[gurguliare]

it’s weird how middle names are like………. this normal thing, but also secret

[thursday]

[snowpawshaw]

FINALLY IT’S ON TUMBLR THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE THIS

[frostyotakuotter]

One of the best scenes in film history

[ultrazarra]

this is iconic

[thelegendofbailey]

Best part of the Emo Kylo Ren account yet

[quemichaelcera-deactivated20200]

Kid, I’ve flown from one side of this galaxy to the other, and I’ve seen a lot of strange stuff, but I’ve never seen anything to make me believe that there’s one all-powerful Force controlling everything. ‘Cause no mystical energy field controls my destiny. It’s all a lot of simple tricks and nonsense.

Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope (1977) dir. George Lucas

[pkingblog]

[itsdarthv]

[nasturbate]

thankful for all the dogs that let me pet them in 2015

thankful for all the dogs that will let me pet them in 2016

[wenchyfloozymoo]