Badly summarizing Hazbin Hotel Songs: Season 2
Hazbin Guarantee (Trust us)
Local nepo baby sings about why you should support her business while repeatedly trying not to have a mental breakdown. Meanwhile; 3 local business CEOs openly shit on the Nepo baby and cause general chaos for shits and giggs and money
3 local CEOs have a “Be Prepared” moment and show off how bad their God complexes are, especially TV Jeff Bazos
3 well meaning idiots sing to newly appointed Goodest Boi how special he is to the point of attempting suicide
Holy Hottie Anastasia sings about how “Yeah, genocide wasn’t the move. You dun goofed, but that’s ok, just fix it.” to a biblically accurate baddie and then dips after giving her a completely warranted existential crisis
The most valid invalid crash out in history
Two love struck idiots miss beating the piss out of each other and it makes them very very sad 😢
Blonde Nepo baby has a manic episode and goes full “Popular” on her supposed friend by essentially telling him to stop being him and be more like their more successful friend. All while 2 out of 3 of his tormenters watch with soda and popcorn despite the fact that he’s told Blondie multiple times that they’re bad people and friends with his abuser.
Deer Man is pouting after losing a fight he was incredibly underestimating the difficulty level for, crashes out, quits the job he was barely doing and is then reminded by his hot boss that contracts are legally binding
Best girl sings about how she loves her job, but no one passed Japanese on Duolingo so unfortunately, no one understands her wholesomely genuine passion
Don’t You Forget (Reprise)
Deer man and TV Bazos beef with each other, unfortunately TV man is aura farming harder and is in fact, still not over the “break up”.
TV Bazos tries to indoctrinate other CEOs and industry leaders. He’s successful but fumbles a few because he’s ageist and racist.
Devil Daddy aura farms HARD on TV Bazos only to immediately get dunked on at a MAGA rally from Hell
TV Bazos takes advantage of everyone’s fear and incompetence by letting you know he can and will in fact get worse.
Alcoholic cat Daddy relapses hard and tries to convince himself that he’s fine actually he’s totally not
The best drag show you will ever see makes Cat Daddy realize he did not in fact “Forget how to love years ago”
Blonde Nepo baby FINALLY realizes she’s been a jackass all season, crashes out and her GF decides the best cure for depression is 🍑 🐱
TV man sings about his life. Turns out he has always been bad at not being the center of attention and used to look like every suburban white dad ever, but with herterochromia. What a twist.
Newly appointed Goodest Boi sings to a biblically accurate Baddie about what I means to be human in the sweetest reprise you will ever hear. Give him head pats right fucking now, he deserves them, damn it.
When I think About The Future
Everyone’s hopeful and making plans to fuck up a CEO Gala. A divorce and a few mental breakdowns are imminent.
The power of friendship and a sprinkling of manipulation on the part of Rudolph the Red Deer saves everyone from dying at the hands of a holy nuke. Ft Fallout boy, a homophobic lesbian with shit taste in men, 2/3 of an evil corporate family, a Hot MILF, her Goth hubby, Rudolph’s hot boss and other corporate industry leaders that are only marginally better than most CEOs in existence
vaporwave
titsay
gummygunk
yousharknotpass
dededos
izzy806
tangentwithtanner
prguitarman
blakekathryn
dailybridgerton
