A Place Where Only Lovers Go

The pushing-40 fandom flailings of Sam, aka Silverbirch on AO3. Eater of worlds. Do not engage while operating heavy machinery.

[silverbirching]

LO, YOU ARE HERE NOW, HERE IS AN ASK FOR YOU TO INTRODUCE YOURSELF TO THE PEOPLE, HOW DOES IT FEEL BOO

WELL HOWDY THARR YOU TERRIBLE FUCKING ENABLER!

I'm Sam, aka Silverbirch on AO3. He/Him. I like, in no particular order:

Netflix's Shadow and Bone (currently ficcin')

Jewelry (I'm a professional authenticator, appraiser and aspiring historian, btw. Yes, of gems and jewelry. Yes, that's a thing. Stop slipping law school applications under my door, MOM, I'm 36 years old)

Archaeology (long neglected degree)

Classical studies / mythology (currently resisting the urge to get a degree)

An ungainly shitload of comics, books, and videogames

Humanism (of the secular variety)

Plants (I'm one of those gays)

My cats (I'm also one of those gays)

Interior design that bespeaks color, personality, the input of living people (fuck off with your grey-beige shiplap, and yes also that kind of gay if you're taking notes)

Two of the finest people I have ever known and two of my closest friends, Gremble (@abeautifulblog) and Hilary (@qqueenofhades), both of whom I met via AO3 comment seduction

I HOPE THIS EXHAUSTIVE AND DETAILED DOSSIER FINDS YOU WELL, MY LITTLE LIVER DUMPLINGS <3

[crabanarchy]

They say ooooh be a good boy for daddy and you'll get a reward. But then the reward is just gay sex. This is bullshit. I wanted a skateboard

[crabanarchy]

Then they say if you're a bad boy daddy will punish you. But what's the punishment? More gay sex! You can't escape it. This whole damn place is in the pocket of Big Sex

[song-of-the-spheres]

I will never be over the romance arc of Shards of Honor tbh. testament to the characterization and the book's way of saying a lot with few words/small actions that it actually works, because the timeline is bananas. Cordelia takes like a week to go from believing this man is a war criminal to helping him resolve a mutiny and contemplating saying she loves him. Aral doesn't make it 24 hours from when they meet before he's planning how to propose to her. by all rights this should trip my "this is ludicrous" sensors but instead I'm not only going "yeah that makes sense for these people to be like this given the circumstances and who they are as characters" but actively rooting for it.

and then they don't see each other for months! and are still clearly thinking about each other! I think that's what makes it work, honestly (and the fact that they aren't wide-eyed 20-year-olds jumping in headfirst). How they relate to each other is also fairly...grounded, in a way that's very charming and makes you believe the sudden connection. "you at least permit each other to learn from your mistakes" "you don't--deal in small change, do you?" "but at least I can offer you the best that I have" "when he's cut, I bleed"

truly the enemies to lovers speedrun of all time, 1000/10, I promise I am Very Normal about this (lying).

[silverbirching]

Legitimately one of my favorite romances in fiction.

[crowboy-bebop]

unauthorized fucking thing!!!!!!

(warning: loud chirping throughout)

source: hellgate osprey cam

[curlicuecal]

[frontmansdefender]

RIP to the legend

[silvermoon424]

This goose fucking rocks and had a crazy life!

I really just have to summarize Thomas's entire life:

He was in a committed relationship with a male swan named Henry for 18-24 years before a female swan named Henrietta showed up and mated with Henry.

Thomas was initially jealous of the pair and attacked them, breaking 2 of the 5 eggs Henrietta had laid. However, once the remaining eggs hatched, Thomas warmed up to them and helped raise them.

Henry couldn't fly because of an injured wing, so Thomas taught the cygnets how to fly.

When they needed to reduce the goose population in the pond where Thomas and the swans lived, they dyed Thomas's feathers red so he wouldn't be separated from Henry.

Henry, Henrietta, and Thomas remained in their happy throuple for years and raised 68 cygnets before Henry died in 2009. After Henry's death, Henrietta found another swan and flew away, leaving Thomas alone.

Thomas finally met and mated with a female goose in 2011 and had his own babies. However, another goose named George stole them and raised them himself.

As Thomas grew elderly and blind, he was relocated to a wildlife center where he raised orphaned cygnets.

His caretaker at the center described him as "pretty high maintenance."

Thomas died in 2018 at the age of around 40. He had a funeral that included a small coffin and a procession that was led by a bagpiper. He was buried under the stone where Henry was buried, the two finally reunited in death.

Before and after his death, Thomas has been celebrated as an icon of the LGBTQ+ community for obvious reasons.

[uovoc]

They say it's still out there, roaming the unaffiliated zone, waiting to sideswipe the unwary traveler…

[silverbirching]

And Lo, the Angel saw that its works were good, and added, as an afterthought;

Name not yourself JollyBaby, spake the angel, For that is some Serious Bullshit.

Uh okay, spake the hauler bot, I wasn't planning to--

Can we have some fucking Decorum, Please, Fuck's sake, Spoke the Angel, then Sidled Awkwardly out of the room.

[qqueenofhades]

For fans of storm has set the heavens scowling, I have bought The Long Game for research purposes and @silverbirching and I are doing Very Important Plotting. So y'know, The Sequel will probably happen sooner rather than later.

[silverbirching]

-- like 3.75 people, probably

[gremlininho]

then & now ♡

[senatortedcruz]

Fuck is happening on instagram dog?

[silverbirching]

[silverbirching]

So we all agree that Preservation has utopian space communism and a barter economy because Nanna Naja fully just shot every single landlord, banker, venture capitalist, and c-suite fuckbag directly in the brainpan until the rest of them caught wise, yeah?

[yearofdoodles]

Pov you're Three and multiple fuck off massive ships saw you from across the bar and liked your vibe ✨

Very vaguely inspired by this from Platform Decay (mild spoiler):

[silverbirching]

Other Transports: Ooooooh Perihelion is that a SecUn--

ART: I WILL BURN DOWN YOUR WORLDS AND VAT-CLONE BOWELS SO I CAN DO A SHIT IN THE ASHES! I WILL KILL EVERYONE YOU'VE EVER MET! I WILL FUCK YOUR CODE SO HARD IT WILL NEVER BE UNFUCKED! I AM BECOME DEATH, SHATTERER OF WORLDS!

Other transports: So you guys are exclusive is what you're saying.

[wilwheaton]

SpaceX Taps Crypto Billionaire to Lead First Crewed Mission to Mars

SpaceX shared new details about a crewed Mars flyby in the lead-up to Thursday's Flight 12 launch attempt.

"During the live webcast, SpaceX played a video of cryptocurrency billionaire and civilian astronaut Chun Wang speaking from Bouvet Island in the South Atlantic Ocean. Wang, who has gone to space one time before, explained that he will embark on a Starship flyby of the Moon and Mars."

Ah, yes, the crypto dipshit who rode in a rocket once is going to *checks notes* command a mission to Mars.

SpaceX is such a fucking joke. I don't know how anyone with self respect can work there.

[silverbirching]

This is the best idea I've ever heard. Can we put some more billionaires onboard? Fucking stuff the rocket with billionaires?

[when-the-world-spins-backwards]

watched sinners. i am so fucking angry with all Tumblr™ users.

[when-the-world-spins-backwards]

so what you got from sinners was... remmick as a blorbo. not "music as a coping and bonding method in the presence of overwhelming grief". not "lateral family bonds as a form of black community and survival". not "early acceptance of death in black youth". not "black women as the focal point of community". not "christianity as a tool of assimilation". nothing but "wow remmick is so ✨babygirl✨". whats crazy is that yall lowkey played out the violence of film (white exploitation and decimation of black culture and community) like. perfectly. you parody yourselves.

[when-the-world-spins-backwards]

i finally saw the movie right after having to read some uwu racist say that sinners was "het slop". het slop. wow. if i started killing would you blame me if i never stopped.

[abeautifulblog]

Yep.

[silverbirching]

Even ASIDE from villainy he is styled to be utterly dripless, off-putting, and gross, completely unglamorous, the thinnest veneer of human over a sucking abyss of pure appetite, and STILL the amount of simping over him is mind-blowing. Y'all would fuck a fence post if it was white.

[luckydreaming]

Are fedoras really that bad?

YES YES THEY ARE

[onceuponakhaleesi]

voidethered:

ask-omnipony:

I don’t really believe this mumbo jumbo

I mean it’s a goddamn hat.

Right..?

The white rose, it symbolizes the unique beauty of all the women who wish not to be with a nice guy such as myse-

I wonder if this works with other kinds of hat…

Nothing ventured, nothing gained…

WHEEEN THE MOON HITS YOUR EYE LIKE A BIG PIZZA PIE THAT’S AMORREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Men of Tumblr are my favorite kind of people…

[jamesbleach]

wait, does that mean?

oh boy…….

[usedtobehmc]

Luckily, this nonsense doesn’t work on girls.

Observe…

[rootbeergoddess-deactivated2017]

IT’S GOTTEN BETTER!

[coffeeandcursewords]

This post is immaculate

[mobians-and-chaos-blog]

It can’t be true.

And it can’t possibly work on motorcycle helmets.

I must test it.

Nothing happening so far…

[strampunch]

HOLY SHIT IT WORKS

[pokemon-chick-1personalblog-blog]

What in the world?

Oh why not? This should be interesting.

Here we go!

Were all mad here in Underland!

What the hell! Never Again!

… Actually …

One more time.

[combthecombel]

Alright, I gotta try this!

Can’t be that bad!

….

…oh my god…

[verityglasses]

ask-gmodsfmrocks:

LOL

This just gets better and better

[fairytail-angel]

This is one of my favourite things to look at

[strampunch]

holy shit this stuff is back

[livia-jones]

The Gravity Falls one though

[nightowlhowell]

i wonder if it works for flower crowns?

here goes nothin-

w HAT THE

DID I JUST-

WHAT THE FUCK

[artfulhobbes]

Okay Clearly something is up.

Hmm… I wonder

I’m sure nothing could possibly…

HOLY SHIT

[clolymoly-deactivated20190507]

IT GOT BETTER

[nukewolf]

I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING SO LONG FOR THIS POST OH MY GOD!!!

[cm8x-insanity]

I wonder what happens when you wear 8 of these at once…

[roses-in-fire]

Never not reblog

[ryrobsessed]

IT’S ON MY DASH. ACTUALLY ON MY DASH.

[cate-geo]

Oh my God, there are so many new ones

[dvonmc]

Friggin, yis

[wildishmazz]

Always reblog.

[the-last-teabender]

IT HAS EVOLVED

[evilblackcat13]

The legend marches on…

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

BEWARE THE MAGIC OF HATS

[bittythemagpiedragon-blog]

JDNXHSBSBF

[hotshotriot]

I T ‘ S  B A C K 

[99-cent-arizona-tea]

a classic meme from when the world was less of a tire fire

[teeble-spoon]

ITS ON MY BLOG YESSSS

[fandombandomrandom42]

THIS IS WONDERFUL.

[i-srsly-need-to-stop-deactivate]

time to bring back outdated memes…

what could possibly go wrong?

eww, it smells like fuckboi

welp, down this rabbit hole we go…

nothing’s happeni-

WTF-

[ofcosmicflux-deactivated2019013]

Oh boy, this meme

I wonder if this would work with a wolf hat.

May as well try it.

Please don’t be awful, please don’t be awful, please don’t b-

get wet 4 furry

[saucy-majora-deactivated2021062]

This is obviously fake

Look, I’ll prove it

Y’all are just acting

Watch and learn

WTFFFFFF

[knowledgemimic]

Should…… should I…….

[breathingcolorsblog]

DO IT!

[knowledgemimic]

Whelp guess I gotta put on the hat now

Can’t be that bad, I mean what’s the worst a squid hat can do to m-

I̖̝̪̤̠̋͞ ̛̹̱̮̳̭̓̂͑ͫ͐̎ͯ͗͝͡H͇̠͊́̚A̛̓̓҉͙̠V͍̌̏͂ͣͨͭͧ̉́E̸͙̭̣͓̓ͨͥ̿ ̽͗͗ͮ͊ͬͩͥ̚҉̪̗̝̘̟́̕A̴̴̙̝̬̪̞͂ͤͩ̍W͚̣͆ͬỎ̫̝̟͖̝͇ͥ͛ͮ͋K̨̖͓͉̺̫͉̀͗ͪ̊͌̉E͚̲̩̪̘̠͋̈͞N͉͓͕̗̱͒̔ͨͤ͛̓̂ͧ

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[starrylolo]

I’ve always wanted to show this to @theforwardslash

[half-a-hetero]

IT WAS A CULTURAL RESET. A CULTURAL RESET. 

[bees-with-tophats]

HAHAH

[frenchish-water]

Someone call UNESCO this dinosaur of a post needs to be protected

[fishfrommars]

I’m so glad it’s back to normal after that weird glitch from 2020

[lloyd-garma-gun]

THIS POST HAS CROSSED MY DASH SO MANY TIMES AAAAAAAAA

[kloudyco]

I FOUND IT AGAIN

[the-keeper-of-the-lemon-deactiv]

FUCKING LOVE THIS POST!! HAT TIME!!!

[mrdyketator]

Precisely *how* old is this post??

[mrdyketator]

Date of origin: 7:17 am, January 26th, 2014

[proxylynn]

[I found it…The sacred Tumblr World Heritage Post of Hats!]

[chimaerakitten]

A while ago one of those posts went by that was like “the leads of the previous show you watched are now in the show you are currently watching. how do they handle it?” and I was like ok the heated rivalry boys in black sails would just. Die. They’d just die. RIP.

But the more I think about it the more I think the opposite is where the comedy is.

Like:

[silverbirching]

Okay, fair, but if you gave Shane enough lead time to get Weird About Boats, I'm pretty sure he'd be the terror of the high seas in like. A month. I Am Getting a Good Grade in Piracy, a Very Normal Thing To Want That Is Possible to Achieve!

Ilya is obviously his strapping cabin boy for completely above-board non fucknasty kink related reasons.

[akashicrecord]

the lesbian computer from portal was right. given the circumstances ive been shockingly nice

[ivy-connivy]

insane like/reblog parity on this post btw

[rockynewtoball]

this is too much I'm gonna- *remembers joking about rewatching supernatural is harmful* kill myself