CupcakeClaws @lavenderoffline - Tumblr Blog

n͟o͟t͟e͟s͟ f͟o͟r͟ m͟y͟ f͟u͟t͟u͟r͟e͟ s͟e͟l͟f͟

•Buy a good affordable guitar🎸

•Study hard for your career🧾

•Start to record songs🎙️

•Perform in a band🎶 (.....🤞)

Main blog:@scarlett-cupcake (for reblogs)

Side blog:@brownpapernotes (study blog)

#personal diary #dear diary

she told me she felt sorry seeing me hate my life and being miserable.

i feel sad, I knew they did all for a good future.

she said she did that bcoz she knew I was capable seeing my marks, ranks..

thank you mom and dad for everything

i'll do my best and try to live my life happily..

my mom told me that it will all be worth it.

if i keep working hard on what I'm doing now, I'm going to be on top no matter what.

#hope #everything's okay

i want to be proud of myself for once

first harvest from the guava tree on the terrace🍐

#guava #green #roof top terrace #rooftop #harvest

stray doggo

#that cute smile #doggo #stray dogs #rainyday #dogs

lavenderoffline

i hate how I've become so mentally ill that i cant even open instagram without wanting to kill myself

lavenderoffline

i finally reactivated my instagram after 2 years today.🔆

#i know I won't doom scroll there #it's just comparison issues #i just have to remind myself that I also have a really good life ahead of me

my dad hasn't been talking to me for a few days now. i don't know why.. he just walks past and talks with my mom but never me.

i don't remember doing anything wrong. i asked my mom bout it and she said to not say anything.

it might be my fault.

it's always my fault.

30.04.26

#church #photography #places #sky #aesthetic

the never ending love for moody skies☁️

#moody skies #sky #aesthetic #dark and moody #clouds #rainy #rainy weather #naturecore #photography

anxietyproblem

#i remember me crying when she asked me what was wrong #i said everything's okay #i was not going to cry #but then it burst out #she was a kind angel

ojibwa

#regret is all I have now #i want to go back #but I know it's not possible #i had hopes and dreams back in high school #everything became a mess when i legally became an adult

few years ago when i decided to kill myself, i couldn't because in my society people judge and shames the family and i wanted my sister to get married happily without any problems. and I knew if i commit suicide it would cause problems for my sister.

and now she's all married. there's nothing standing in my way. i can go.

i just want to not feel anxious for atleast one day

#i ve been like for 5 years #this all began when i turned 18 #to not feel like a burden #i did everything for that #now I just take a breath properly #without wanting to kill myself #i don't think this worthlessness will ever stop #this feeling of being a burden

i feel so scared

#it's all because of me #i know that #i feel like vomiting #it's my exam #tomorrow and I feel like I'm gonna die from anxiety #it's another 23k something wasted if i fail this #i don't know why I can't stop doing this to myself #i can't evygo to a doctor be because they are so expensive #and my parents will have to pay for that #i can't even face the outside world without wanting to break down #24 hrs left and I'm just hopeless #worthless #why am I doing all these other things except things i should actually do #it's been years now and I just want everything to stop

sosrantings

we are all trying here, EP06

#we are all trying here #hwang Jin man #park hae joon #kdrama #and to just minutes after he was going to commit suicide #i was happy to see him smile but then #everyone is fighting their own worthlessness

ceruleanheaven

[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over

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