I'm No Angel

Independent Rose Quartz RP blog from Steven Universe. Mutuals only, selective. Muse and mun are 21+.

[lavidadelarosa-blog]

freetoexistasme:

The whole way back, Garnet’s mind was swimming. If anything happened to her two dearest friends, or anyone else they had left to defend the main base, she didn’t think she’d be able to handle it. Maybe everything would be okay, though. Bismuth and Pearl were as tough as could be. Others, though… no. She shook the thought away. It would be fine.

Rose may have just jumped back in alarm when Bismuth almost attacked them, but Garnet actually yelped in fear and summoned her gauntlets all over again. Thankfully, though, it was just Bismuth. That made her relax.

“Bismuth, a…” Garnet started to ask, then stopped herself. She could see that Bismuth was okay. The thing that concerned her was where Pearl was. The fusion didn’t immediately see her. Her gauntlets vanished before she tried to convey what she was thinking.

“We got back as soon as we could. I hope you and Pearl managed all right…” Please let everything be all right, Garnet thought. She had seen the shards, but she wasn’t immediately worried. Self defense shatterings happened.

“Well...the base is still standing.  Probably just ‘cause I built it, though.”  Bismuth was resigned, matter-of-fact about it.  Her usual playful bragging and enthusiasm were gone.  “Homeworld was out for blood, as the humans would say.” 

“Bismuth...where’s Pearl?”  Rose frowned.  Bismuth hadn’t specifically mentioned her and that was telling.  With the smaller skirmishes they’d been involved in, Bismuth had been quick to report that Pearl had managed to flee to an alternate site with her and Rose’s brood of gemlings, as was the plan.  Bismuth was always quick to offer reassurance, and this subdued look was worrisome.

“She’s...well, you’d better go to her.”  Bismuth turned sad eyes onto Rose, and Rose’s heart sank.  This wasn’t good, whatever had happened.  “She’s in a bad way.”

Rose hurried back to follow Bismuth into the damaged structure.  She heard Pearl before she saw her, and the sound alone nearly broke Rose’s heart.  She was making a noise Rose had never heard from her before and never wanted to again, a soft but desperate keening that just screamed of despair.  Tears were in Rose’s eyes as she hurried to Pearl’s side.  Teal bruises marred her porcelain body, but she seemed otherwise okay physically.  Emotionally, that was a different story, and Rose gasped out loud as she saw why, falling to her knees.  Pearl’s hands were trembling, clutching pearl shards, similar in color to her own gem but with the slightest hint of pink.  Margalit.  “Oh, no...no...no!”  It was all she could manage to get out as she started to sob, pulling Pearl into her arms and holding her tightly.  The rest of the world didn’t exist in that moment, because theirs was falling apart.

[lavidadelarosa-blog]

freetoexistasme:

Everything had been riding on Garnet’s vision, and she’d hoped to deliver as best she could with the mission to save the beta encampment. Most of their forces had gone with them to defend it, with Garnet going with Rose. That had left Bismuth, Pearl, and a small handful behind. What baffled her, though, was the small band that had been there.

“I don’t understand,” Garnet said, lamely searching her thoughts for some semblance of sense. “I foresaw an attack. I-I thought…” Was her vision truly different from Sapphire’s? For a long while, Garnet hadn’t known for certain. She’d just used her vision to defend her allies whenever she could. This time, she was trying to focus on what she could see ahead of them. With the small number of forces there, an ambush did seem likely. All the same, Garnet kept trying to use her ability to its fullest.

“…It isn’t an ambush. At least, I don’t think it is,” Garnet said. “I can clearly see the chance that it’s just those Gems there. But if it is, then…” She’d been wrong about where the attack was. Garnet had clearly seen a huge attack at one of the bases, and she’d thought it was the beta base. But if it was the alpha base instead…

“Rose, we have to go back. I know I saw an attack on our base, but I… I think I was wrong about where.” She knew that was bad. Her visions were supposed to be reliable, and they just hadn’t been.

“Pearl and Bismuth need our help if I’m right!”

Garnet’s assurance that it wasn’t an ambush didn’t ease Rose’s concerns for long.  Garnet’s visions were still something they were figuring out, and the possibility always existed she could be wrong.  She hadn’t been entirely wrong; there certainly had been some soldiers attacking the beta base.  But not very much.  Just enough to keep them diverted.  Rose frowned, muttering an ancient Gem curse under her breath as Garnet realized where they needed to be  “Let’s go.”

They got back to the alpha camp as quickly as they could.  Unfortunately, for obvious safety reasons, neither base was located all that near a warp pad.  Close enough to be accessible, but not nearly as close as they wanted to be under these circumstances.  

When they arrived, it was obvious that the real attack had been at the main base.  It was still standing, but barely.  There were shards of a couple citrines at Rose’s feet as she drew closer, her sword ready, and she winced.  None of the current Crystal Gems were citrines, so they had to be Homeworld soldiers.  Unfortunate, but sometimes necessary in self-defense.  She still hated seeing it.

The beta attack must have been to distract them from this.  Rose scanned the area, trying to make a quick assessment, and jumped back in alarm as Bismuth came lunging at them, ready to attack.  She stopped just short of making contact, though; her reflexes had always been great.

“Rose!  Garnet!  Thank goodness you’re back.”  She was covered in scratches, though they didn’t seem to slow her down. 

[lavidadelarosa-blog]

@freetoexistasme

Homeworld hadn’t been relenting lately, not at all.  Nor had Rose expected them to.  This war for Earth...well, it was going as well as it could be, led by a scrappy rebellion.  The fact that they hadn’t been wiped out yet was a miracle - and, Rose thought, a testament to the Gems she had on her side.

Garnet had seen a vision of the beta encampment being attacked, and they couldn’t afford to lose that.  It was a smaller, remote backup to their alpha site, of course, but...it was theirs, and it was in strategically important territory.  Rose had been quick to assemble the troops and head out with Garnet to conquer the threat.  Their hidden alpha base was safe for the meantime, so they left Pearl and Bismuth to mind the store, as it were, with a handful of other Gems.  Everyone else was needed to save the beta site.

Garnet hadn’t been wrong, but the attack was...not what they’d expected.  It was a couple small squads of citrines, easily handled.  Rose frowned.  “That was too easy.”  Normally, she’d have embraced such victories, but she was suspicious, given how strongly Homeworld had been hitting them lately.

“Garnet...could this be an ambush?”  She was on full alert, hoping she hadn’t led her team into a death trap.

[lavidadelarosa-blog]

saltygempearl:

“Oh - ah-ha ha!” Pearl burst into a fit of giggles as she was hoisted into the air. They continued after the quick kiss, accompanied by a soft flush of her cheeks as she was set back down. It had been so long – too long – since she’d seen Rose this happy about something.  Or at least, this happy about something that didn’t have to do with Greg being around. But then again, it was only a matter of time before her interest in the human waned, and Pearl would be lying to herself if she wasn’t glad for it to finally start heading that way. She knew it had only been a few years, but it’d felt like centuries this time around, for some reason. Eyes wide with anticipation, Pearl grinned up at Rose expectantly.

“What is it?”

Rose couldn’t help but sneak in another kiss to Pearl’s cheek as she pulled her close.  She wrapped her arms around Pearl’s thin waist, enjoying the chance to hold her again.  Their relationship had been a little...off...lately.  Rose couldn’t define how, really, but something seemed different.  It was probably just a side effect of all the changes they’d been through, though.  Most of Rose’s human paramours hadn’t stayed nearly as long as Greg, so they’d never had to figure out their “new normal” before in that regard.  She had never loved Pearl any less, though, and she was sure Pearl understood that.

“Oh, it’s so wonderful...”  She was so excited about the future, and she couldn’t wait to see how Pearl reacted.  Children were so amazing, and Rose hoped that, through hers, the other Gems might come to understand humans a little better.  “Greg and I are going to have a baby!”

[lavidadelarosa-blog]

kissedbyaspacerose:

He could tell it was a struggle to talk about it, so Greg gently let his hand rest against Rose’s shoulder and just smiled. It was his quiet way of telling her she didn’t have to go on. She seemed to have changed subjects anyway.

“It really is exciting,” Greg agreed. He smiled all the more at the thought of Steven being perfect. He was adorable, and wonderful, and already he reminded Greg so much of Rose. In some ways, though, he reminded him of himself. It was interesting to think about.

“I can’t argue with you there, Rose,” Greg said. “Powers or not, Steven’s great. I love him… and you.” He didn’t think he told her that often enough. So, he leaned in and gently kissed her cheek as best he could. A little bit of extra affection never hurt.

“Do you think he’ll be interested in learning to play any kind of instrument?” Greg wondered aloud. He wanted to teach Steven something. Right then, though, he thought Steven might be a bit too young for it.

Rose’s eyes lit up.  “Oh, I think he certainly might be.  He loves watching you play.”  It was true; Steven was captivated by Greg’s music.  “As soon as he’s old enough, I’m sure he’ll love learning how to play.”  She smiled wistfully.  “I remember when we used to make videos for your songs.  That was always fun.”  They’d only done a couple, though the first had certainly been the most memorable.

Steven yawned sleepily, and she scooped him up, rubbing his back as he settled in with his head on her shoulder.  She loved cuddling him - loved everything about him, really.  Even when he was mischievous, it was still a little delightful to her...this chance to raise him was something she embraced every minute,  Especially given the circumstances.  “He can be anything he wants to,” she murmured, nuzzling her cheek against Steven’s hair.  “That’s all I ever wanted for any of my children.”

[saltygempearl]

@lavidadelarosa

Rose had told Pearl that she wanted to talk about something important, so Pearl was ready at the temple about ten minutes before the agreed upon meet up time. It was honestly something she was kind of excited about, especially because Rose had been spending so much time with Greg lately, they hadn’t had a chance to talk one on one as much as they used to. And of course, it gave her some satisfaction to be the number one confidant again, even if only in some matters. When the pink Gem finally arrived, Pearl perked up.

“Rose! It’s so nice to see you. It’s been a while since we’ve gotten to talk ah-ha….um. Anyway, what was it you wanted to speak with me about?”

[lavidadelarosa-blog]

Rose beamed as Pearl approached - finally, she was sure everything was going according to plan, and she could share her news with the others.  Pearl, of course, would be the first one she told...well, after Greg, but that was only natural, as he was the baby’s father.  “Pearl!”

Truthfully, Rose had missed the times they used to spend together, too.  There just was so little time in a human lifespan, and things happened so quickly for them...Rose didn’t want to miss more than a few moments at a time.  What she and Pearl had was special, of course, and it always would be.  But...it was easier to tell herself to make a little extra time for Pearl later when she knew there would be more time.

A soft giggle escaped Rose as she took Pearl by the waist, lifting her so that they were eye level for a moment before brushing a kiss on Pearl’s cheek and setting her down.  “Yes, it’s been too long.  But I’ve got some exciting news, and I wanted to tell you right away.”

[lavidadelarosa-blog]

kissedbyaspacerose:

“Rose…”

Greg had never known Rose to be violent like that in the time he’d known her. The way she’d attacked the ride at Fun Land once did come to mind, at least for a moment, but he shoved it aside. Rose had stopped herself from hurting Pearl. She wasn’t a monster. She’d just had her buttons pushed, and honestly? If it was because Pearl had learned that Rose was having Greg’s baby? He couldn’t exactly blame the thin Gem for being upset. She did seem to hate him, after all. Even if they hadn’t really bothered each other much those days, it just made him think that Pearl had acted this way because of their tension.

“Oh, Rose…” He gave her hand a gentle squeeze before leaning against her. He didn’t think any less of her. He was much kinder than some might have deserved. This seemed like a moment to show that much.

“But you stopped yourself,” he said aloud. “You didn’t hurt her. You just… hit your limits. Pearl probably doesn’t hate you for it, either.” What on Earth had made the argument escalate that much? Greg did want to know. However, he respected Rose’s privacy all the same. It wasn’t something he wanted to press when the quartz seemed so much more… fragile.

“I know there’s probably not much I can do, but if you think of anything I can do for you… just let me know. I hate seeing you so upset,” he said. He hardly blamed her for feeling this way, of course. she’d been pushed to her limits. Anyone would feel bad if they’d reached that point.

As she’d predicted, Greg was too kind.  Rose knew he was trying to make her feel better - and, true, she hadn’t lost complete control.  Still, she struggled with what had happened.  It wasn’t the kind of Gem she wanted to be.

“I just...keep thinking about it.”  Rose sighed, shaking her head.  “And I know why she was pushing.  She...I suppose it helps her, to talk about some of the terrible things that happened so long ago.”  And yet she was just the opposite, something Greg knew all too well.  It had thrown wrenches into her relationship with Pearl before.  “And, that anger, that wanting to shut her up...I hate that.  Oh, stars, I hate it.  That’s...it’s too close to the Gem I could have been.”  Her line had been caregivers, of course, but still warriors.  And only caregivers when the Diamonds saw fit.

At least she could enlighten Greg a bit, in hopes he’d understand why she was so distraught over the near-miss.  She’d never have forgiven herself if she actually struck Pearl, of course, but even coming close to it was rattling.  “I’ve told you before, about how Gems have our purpose set for us.”  The very reason she wanted to bring this half-human child into the world - so they could set their own destiny.  “Some are...meant to be above others.  I don’t think it’s right.  But...”  She sighed again, wiping a stray tear.  While she didn’t want to compromise Pearl’s privacy, she could be vague enough to give Greg an idea.  “On Homeworld, a pearl wouldn’t have dared challenge any higher Gem.  And...it would have been acceptable - encouraged, even - to hit her if she did.”  Her lip curled in disgust at the very thought.  “That is everything I fought for us to be away from...everything she fought to be away from.”

[lavidadelarosa-blog]

kissedbyaspacerose:

“I… kinda heard a tiny bit of it,” Greg admitted. He wouldn’t press her, though. In the years he’d known her, he knew there were things that she didn’t necessarily like talking about. If it was something that had made her and Pear fight, then it was best left alone.

“You don’t have to tell me about it. I just wanna… help, I guess? If I can,” he said. He ran his thumb gently against her hand, and a weak smile was offered. As curious as he was, it wasn’t his place to know.

“I’m sorry you two fought. I… guess she didn’t take the news that we’re gonna have a baby well, either,” he said. That was his guess, anyway. He knew how excited Rose had been to share the news. But if this was how Pearl had taken it, how would Amethyst and Garnet react?

“That’s putting it mildly.”  Rose sighed, shaking her head.  “I’d hoped she’d be happy - or at least understand how much I want this.”  But she didn’t want to villainize Pearl in this narrative, either.  Pearl and Greg pretty much left each other alone anymore, but now that she’d calmed some, Rose could see where it might have been a bit of a shock for Pearl.  “I thought she was just jealous at first, but it was something more.  Something...much deeper than that.”

By now, Rose knew Greg wouldn’t pry if she wanted to leave something alone, as long as it didn’t concern their relationship.  She was grateful for that, because she was shaky enough as it was.  “I don’t even remember what turned it into a fight, exactly.  I was upset that she was reacting so badly, and she was upset, and...it just escalated.”  And, after thousands of years, they both knew exactly what buttons to push.  “She just kept pushing, and finally--”  Her voice caught, and her blush deepened with shame as she looked toward the ground.  “Something snapped.  I...nearly hit her.”  Now it was out there, and he could judge her as he wished.  Though given Greg’s infinite kindness, she knew she might find mercy she didn’t deserve.

[lavidadelarosa-blog]

kissedbyaspacerose:

What on Earth had that been about?

Greg had only caught the tail end of Pearl and Rose’s argument, with Pearl screaming for Rose to say someone’s names, and when Rose had run away he instinctively followed her. The man had no idea what to even say or do. He’d never seen Rose like this and hadn’t ever thought that he would. However, Greg still wanted to do something.

He walked further down the beach, to a more secluded spot, and finally found her. The hiding spots weren’t hard to guess anymore. He knew them all well, and he could see her pink form even from where he stood. As he walked closer, he saw the tears on her cheeks. His heart ached.

“Rose…” In an instant, he was at her side and sitting beside her. His hands went to hold hers, and he looked at her in earnest. 

“What happened?” He wanted to ask if she was okay, but the tears on her face were enough to reveal that answer. Greg just wanted to be there for her. After all… he’d be the father of their child sooner or later. If he couldn’t help Rose, then what chance did he have of doing well outside of that?

Rose wasn’t even sure how to explain it, honestly.  So much was weighing on her, and her head was still spinning.  She felt awful about what happened, yet still hurt and angry over the fight.  Maybe that was the best place to start.  “It’s...”  She started to say it was nothing out of habit, but it was pretty obvious that wasn’t the case.  “...Pearl and I had a little fight, that’s all.”  Though, certainly, there had been nothing little about it.

She knew what Pearl thought, that this was just a shallow attempt to replace what they’d lost, but that wasn’t the case.  And Rose didn’t refuse to discuss the subject because she didn’t care...on the other hand, she cared too much.  It broke her heart all over again any time she so much as thought about it.  “It got rather heated.”  

[lavidadelarosa-blog]

@kissedbyaspacerose

Rose hadn’t noticed Greg approaching during her argument with Pearl...but, then, she hadn’t been able to see past much of anything but her own emotions.

She had nearly lost control, snapped back to the very darkest and deepest of her instincts in the heat of the moment...and that just made the whole situation worse.  She hadn’t been able to managed more than a hasty apology before running away, down the beach, to somewhere she was sure Pearl wouldn’t go.

Noneless, even in a secluded cove of the beach, it was hard to hide entirely.  Especially from Greg, who knew her hiding spots well.  She sighed as he approached her, the tears still wet on her cheeks.  “Greg.”

[lavidadelarosa-blog]

I’ll properly catch up tomorrow after work to the handful of threads I have here - working a double, though, so won’t be back until late.  I wanted to do more here, but had a ton of school stuff to catch up on!  I’m not back on hiatus, though, and I’m off Monday and Tuesday, so I should be around more then!

[lavidadelarosa-blog]

Continued from here - @yesmydiamond -

The boy was confused by the reaction he got.  He’d met a few other Gems by now, mostly through less-than-ideal circumstances to start, but...this one didn’t seem like a threat.  It was hard to tell if she was more mad or scared, honestly.

And had she just called him Pearl?  That was a new one.  It wasn’t as if Steven didn’t know he had her gem, but no one had ever called him by her name before.  And how had this Gem known her?  

“Um...no, my name’s Steven.”  Steven shrugged, trying to put the yellow Gem at ease.  “I just have her gem.”

[alannasroleplaymemes-moved]

REBLOG IF YOUR MUSE IS A HOT MOM

[lavidadelarosa-blog]

kissedbyaspacerose:

“I don’t like her to be sad either, kiddo,” Greg said. He hated seeing both Rose and Steven sad. They were his family, after all. At the very least he could be glad knowing that he’d given Steven an answer. The easiest thing to do would have been to not say anything. He’d done better than that, though. So when Steven went off to play, Greg relaxed a bit and ran his hand through what was left of his hair.

When he looked up, he saw Rose sitting next to him. A tired smile tugged at his lips, and when she kissed his cheek he took her hand in his. He’d done good. However, he had a feeling they had a lot to talk about.

“You’re welcome,” Greg said. “Honestly, I wasn’t sure what to tell him. But he’s a smart kid. He deserved an answer.”

“Are you okay, though?” Greg wanted to do something for her. Anything; she just had to say the word. If it was just talking, then he’d do that.

“You’re right...he deserves to know the truth.”  Rose knew some of it would have to be broken down so that he could understand it, but Greg had done a great job of that so far.  She sighed.  Talking might help.  It usually did, when they ran into trouble.  And he’d helped her get to the point where she would talk about things more readily, instead of keeping it locked away inside.

“It’s just...hard, sometimes.”  Rose chewed on her lower lip briefly, glancing out over the ocean.  “I want to be the best that I can for him, but...sometimes, he’ll get a certain look on his face, when he’s figuring something out, and I just know I’m reading into it, but it reminds me of her.”  It never took much.  “And then I think of...so many other things.  Both good and bad.”  She still hadn’t forgiven herself entirely for not noticing how much Pearl was hurt by her perceived rejection.  “And I want to tell him more about her, and maybe even his sisters someday, but I don’t want him upset.”  Or thinking it was his fault she was sad.  “And I don’t want him to worry about me.”

[lavidadelarosa-blog]

@kissedbyaspacerose - continued from here - 

Steven nodded at Greg’s answer, crawling into Greg’s lap.  He was a very perceptive child, particularly when it came to emotional issues.  He knew that all the Gems missed Pearl, but he could tell there was something different when it came to his mother.  Something even more powerful at work.  And now he had some answers; it was a start.  “Yeah.”  He was quiet for a moment, thoughtful as he took it in.  “I don’t like Mama to be sad.”  At five, he couldn’t understand all the complexities, but he could understand enough to realize how deeply his mother missed Pearl - and wish he could do something to help.

Rose had approached at the tail end, but she’d heard enough.  Once Steven ran off to play, she sighed as she moved to sit down beside Greg.  She debated how to approach the subject.  This felt like something they should talk about.  The last thing she wanted was for Steven to worry about her.  But where did she start?  A light kiss to Greg’s cheek seemed like a good beginning.  “Thank you for that.”

[lavidadelarosa-blog]

kissedbyaspacerose:

Useless or not when it came to answers, Steven was adorable. Greg chortled and picked his boy up from the sand. He loved seeing Steven and Rose both so happy. It was also interesting to learn that Pearl hadn’t used that ability that often. It was neat, he thought.

“I kind of wish she’d used it more,” Greg admitted. “It looks like it could be useful. Or… just fun, if you’re Steven.” Greg rubbed his nose against Steven’s just for a moment, if only just to make him smile, before becoming intrigued by the idea of cloud manipulation.

“She could manipulate clouds?”

“You’re just gonna be full of surprises, aren’t you Steven,” Greg said. “I can’t wait to see what he’ll be able to do. Even if I don’t understand all of it.”

“Oh, yes.”  Rose lit up, remembering when Pearl had discovered that ability.  “The clouds...that wasn’t even something she knew she could do until we came to Earth.  There...aren’t many clouds on Homeworld.  She couldn’t change the weather or anything - though we experimented with trying once, in a rainstorm.  But she could rearrange the clouds in the sky.  Mostly, she preferred to project images to illustrate a point, but...”  Her smile grew a little more wistful.  “She used to make shapes out of clouds to amuse our girls.  Though...she never did it much again after...”  Well, he knew.  She still struggled to talk about that, and she didn’t want to bring such a beautiful moment down.  

Steven just fascinated her in everything he did.  Even as he watched the tide roll in to the beach, his dark eyes wide with wonder, she marveled at him.  “There’s no telling how his powers will develop.  It’s exciting.  But even if he doesn’t get another single one, he’s already perfect.”  At least in her eyes.

[lavidadelarosa-blog]

kissedbyaspacerose:

Being a father and working a job at the same time were not tasks that made life easy. Nonetheless, Greg adored Steven with every fiber of his being. He also loved the rest of his Gem family, and he did all he could to help Garnet, Amethyst, and Rose in addition to Steven. Rose had been right; it wasn’t easy to move on. But they’d slowly managed it as Steven grew.

That day was a day Greg had off, and he was on the beach with Steven and Rose. He didn’t know what Steven was doing immediately since Rose had her focus on him more than he did at the moment, but when he heard Steven laughing he couldn’t help but look. That was when he saw Steven moving the sand.

“Whoa…” Greg had never seen anyone do that before. Then again, he didn’t know what Pearl’s powers were. Evidently, Rose knew it. She was excited.

“I did see it!” Greg answered enthusiastically. “What was that? I’ve never seen a power like that before.” Was it one of Pearl’s? …It would have had to have been, wouldn’t it?

“How did you do that, Schtu-ball?” The toddler might not have known. He still wanted to ask, though.

“Da!”  Steven reached out to Greg, giggling as he patted his hands on Greg’s beard.  Though adorable, he was apparently going to be useless when it came to answers.  He had just been playing, as far as he was concerned.

Rose was still grinning widely, and she brushed a light kiss across Steven’s gem, making him giggle even more.  Funny how that same gesture had been still tender yet so different not so long ago.  But it was getting easier to live with their loss, though she still desperately wished Pearl could see all that Steven was becoming.  “She didn’t use it often, mostly because she never found it that practical...but Pearl could do that.  Manipulate light, natural materials.  Mostly clouds and sand.”  Steven, however, was a child, and he hardly needed a practical reason.  “Fun” was good enough for him.

“It makes sense he’d be able to do that first, I suppose.”  She knew nothing of raising a hybrid child, of course - Steven was the first of his kind.  But she could speculate, at least.  “It doesn’t require much conscious effort.  Like floating.”  She never really had to give that much thought, as long as she was in a reasonably good state of mind.  “Everything else will probably come when he’s older.”