Iblmr

He/Him. 32. Minros DNI. Just a guy who likes women sneezing (especially from colds) trying out Tumblr.

[lblmr32]

The Basics

Not snz.

Just establishing some overdue guidelines. If you want to follow my blog you are more than welcome, even if your blog isn't a snz kink blog. However, you do have to be:

An actual person. I don't really care about your sex, gender, sexuality or any other trait, but if I suspect that you're a bot you will be blocked.

An adult. This is, after all, a fetish blog. No minors please.

That's it. Happy tumblring to you all.

[lblmr32]

Give me sick and sneezy women in uniform. No, I don't mean just military or law-enforcement uniform. "Uniform" can be used as a broader term describing so much more.

A doctor in her white coat refusing to go home even though she's sneezing all over the hospital, completely unsanitary, demonstrating how doctors truly are the worst patients. Or a nurse that's good at taking care of everyone but herself, but she's utterly sick. Her scrubs get sneezed on repeatedly, and not by the patients. Even a scientist or a lab technician trying desperately not to get snot all over her lab coat. Those are sick and sneezy women in uniform.

How about a business woman in a suite, sneezing helplessly during the most important presentation of her career? Maybe a politician trying not to sneeze on the people who's votes she trying to get? Or a lawyer making her closing arguments for a trial that can turn her into a star, but she has to stop every other minute to sneeze? Those are sick and sneezy women in uniform.

Women playing group sports are also a good example. They're trying to excel and beat the rival team while not letting their sickness get the better of them. Sneezing on members of the rival team might work, though it won't be in the spirit of good sports. Those are sick and sneezy women in uniform.

And yeah, sure, a high-ranking military officer trying to convince a room full of other high-ranking personnel that her strategy is solid even though she couldn't defeat a simple virus. Maybe a detective wearing police uniform, trying to not let her sneezes get in the way of cracking the case. Those are sick and sneezy women in uniform.

So many options, as well as others I've failed to mention, but you get the picture. There is so much that can be done with this trope, so I say once again: Give me sick and sneezy women in uniform.

[lblmr32]

This is inspired by a couple of threads in the blue forum's "fun and games" section. I might post it on the forum as well, but I felt like it might fit my blog better. This is pure fiction and any connection to real people is completely unintended.

Group Session

The small room was filled with the quiet murmur of five women chatting. Not wanting to strain their voices too much, they kept the conversation short. However, they did their best to catch up with each other as quickly as they could, knowing that it won't be long before they'd have to cut the conversation altogether. After all, it was one of the rules for the meeting. Said rules were printed and hung on the wall in front of them, clearly visible to each of the participants:

Make sure to sneeze one person at a time.

No unrelated conversations once the first person sneezes. Blessings, asking for tissues or generally commenting about sneezes or illness is allowed.

Denying tissues is not allowed. Every participant should be able to blow their nose or cover it when they sneeze if they choose to.

The person who got sneezed on gets the speaking turn. Please avoid "recycling" turns by sneezing back and forth between two participants. If no one got directly sneezed on, the person who sneezes next gets to speak.

Be kind, polite and make each other feel comfortable.

When the session ends, make sure to wear a mask before leaving the room. Tissues must be properly disposed of within the room before exiting. Infecting people outside the group, in any way, shape or form, is strictly forbidden and will lead to permanent banning from any future group activities.

The group was formed a couple of years ago. Its members found each other on an online forum dedicated to their mutual interest in sneezing and sickness. They liked to chat with each other, share their experiences and enjoy the feeling that they were not alone. Different sections of the forum formed over time. Some members liked to express their creativity in ways related to their passion. Others started all sorts of fun little games and played them with each other. Eventually, some members suggested it might be nice to meet IRL. Not everyone was on board with that, but those who did meet up had a very pleasant experience. Some of those people then formed small groups that had sessions together every once in a while. Those sessions varied from one group to another. While some groups were all about talking and discussing fictional scenarios, others took a more direct approach. Sitting in that room, with the printed rules in front of them, was one of the most "hardcore" groups. They called themselves "Sneezy Sessions". As you might've realized by now, their sessions took place when they were all sick and included them sneezing on each other and enjoying the limited "on topic" conversation that followed.

"He Eshoo!" Nadia suddenly sneezed and the room fell silent. The people on the forum knew her as "SassySnow31", but the members of the group knew each other's real names. "Bless be" she sniffled. "I thidk I'b cobig dowd with" "Hi Ishoo! A cold? Yeah *sniffle* I thidk I *sniffle* caught ode too" said Riley. She was known as "NoseWiggle" on the forum and that name was not chosen in vain. "Hash!" Liz lifted a finger in the air, signalling the others to wait. "Bore cobig" she said, true to her forum alias of "Snotoveryet". "Ash, Ashoo, Esh, Mpsh, EnShoo! OK" she sniffled "I thidk I'b dode for dow". "Ha Tshoo!" May (PrettyinPinkNose) was the first one to sneeze directly on another member of the group. Her sneeze was clearly directed towards Sadie, the fifth and final member, also known as "OopsieSneezy". "Gesuddheit" Sadie told May. "I hope you dod't get be sick Hu A Pshooooo! Dever bidd". Obviously, she didn't get sick from May's sneeze. They were all sick when they entered the room and they knew it. Such banter was just a part of their usual conversations during sessions. Sadie's big sneezes sent spray flying towards Riley, who's nose instantly started wiggling, as if reacting to the "dare". "I Shui!" she let out a cute sneeze, in no particular direction. "Bless by poor, sdiffly dose" she sniffled. "It has such a Hi Shoo! tickly cold idside of it". "By dose is so sedsitive with this cold" said May. "I feel like I have to Tshoo! sdeeze every other Eitsh, A Tashoo! bidute". "Would you like a… Ahhh…. Ahhh… Ehe…. E Shooo! a tissue *sniffle* Bay?" Nadia asked after a particularly tickly sneeze took its time getting out of her nose. "Yes please Ha A Tshoo! Thadks, Dadia" May said while rubbing her pink, irritated nostrils with the back of her hand. "Heaaaaaaaaaaa Pshooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Whoa! Gesuddheit to be. Sorry everyode" said Sadie. "Wait *sniffle* here cobes adother ode Ha Ha Ha Ha Haaaaaa Pshoooooooooooooooooo"! "Cad sobeode please He Esh, Esh, Esh, Hesh, Ha Ash! pass be a Ashoo, He Ash, Ashe, Hesh, He Ishe! tissue too?" Liz asked. "Ha I Shui! Here you go" Riley grabbed the box of tissues and was about to give it to Liz when "Hu Psha Shoooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Sadie's massive sneeze caused Riley to drop the box. "Excuse be" Sadie apologized before picking up the box and taking a tissue out of it before handing it over to Liz. "That cabe out of dowhere" she said and they all laughed and blew their noses.

The session went on like that for a little while. You got the picture: Five women sneezing, blessing each other, blowing their noses and talking about their colds. At the end of the session, when they were all satisfied with their experience, they initiated the "end of session protocol", as the rules instructed. Masks were worn, used tissues were disposed of in an orderly fashion and they all wished each other a speedy recovery from their colds before leaving the room. Even though they enjoyed their sessions very much, it wouldn't have been as fun if they were sick all the time. No, it was the randomness of the sickness that made it all that much special.

[lblmr32]

I don't usually cross-post, but here's a little something I wrote the other day on my forum's drabble thread that I thought could fit well here as well:

Voyeurism:

"Ha Eshoo! Jill *sniffle* I deed a dew box of tissues" said Brice.

"Go add get ode yourself thed. I'b too tired" Jill whined.

"Seriously? It was you who gave be this stupid cold *sniffle* the least you cad do is get be a dew box of tissues Ha Ashoo!" Brice sneezed.

"Hiya PchiShooooo! Ugh *sniffle* fide" Jill got up from her bed and went to get a new box of tissues before going to the living room to hand it to Brice, who was sitting on the couch.

"Here you go Haaaa A Pchiooooo!" Jill's sneezes were somewhat girly, but very strong.

"Look! There he is agaid!" Brice said, pointing at the window.

"Brice, you deed to let this go" Jill sniffled. "There's dothig we cad do about it".

"You're just sayig that because you thidk he's E Shoo! cute" said Brice.

"Shut Up! I dever said adythig about hib beig cute" Jill denied.

"Thed why do you keep defeddig hib?" Brice asked.

"Hua Pchay Shiooooo! I dod't" said Jill. "All I'b sayig is there's dothig we cad do".

The guy in question lived in an apartment in a building right next to the one where Brice and Jill were renting theirs. Since the day they moved into their apartment a few years earlier, the only thing they saw when looking out the window was the closed window of that apartment. It all changed a few months earlier, when a young man moved into that apartment. Jill and Brice had never met him in person, but at some point they started to notice him looking at them through his window. At first they thought little of it, but then Brice came up with a theory that he was staring at them when they were sneezing. Jill had several allergies and a notoriously bad immune system, so it was not uncommon to hear sneezes coming from their apartment. She did find the guy at least slightly attractive. Maybe it was the combination of his buzz-cut and his piercing stare. Brice, however, was much less impressed. As time went by, she started trying to catch the guy "red-handed", looking at them when they were sneezing. It wasn't easy, since he would only appear in his window for a moment or two before disappearing back into his apartment, but Brice was determined. Now, with the nasty cold that she caught from Jill, Brice was bored and feeling mean.

"You kdow what? I thidk there is sobethig we cad do" she told Jill.

"I dod't like the way that soudds" Jill said.

"Sdeeze od be" Brice said, taking her roommate by surprise.

"Ew! Do way!" Jill called. "That is so gross. You cad't be serious".

"Cobe od *sniffle* it's dot like you cad get be sick agaid" said Brice. "If we start sdeezig od each other *sniffle* I'b sure this pervert wod't be able to keep hibself frob starig at us lodg edough for be to catch hib doig that".

"This is bessed up" Jill sniffled. "Why cad't you just let this crazy theory of yours go"?

"You wadda see crazy? I'll show you crazy" Brice got up from the couch and stood in front of Jill.

"Ha Ashoo!" she sneezed right into her roommate's face.

"Gross! What is Haaaaai Pchiooooo! wrodg with you?" Jill unintentionally "returned a favor" with a sneeze of her own. Brice wiped the spray from her face and then smiled mischievously.

"Oh yeah? Two cad play that gabe He Eshoo!" she sneezed on Jill again.

"Stop sdeezig od be! Huaaai Pchiooooo!" Brice's whole upper body got drenched by Jill's sneeze.

"Dod't be shy" she sniffled. "Let be Ashoo! have it".

"You kdow what? Fide! If you wadt by sdot so badly you cad have it" Jill said before grabbing Brice's shoulders, making sure she won't be able to escape what was about to come.

"Hua PchiAy, HiAsh Pchooooo, Haaa PchiShooooo!" she slammed three messy sneezes into Brice's face, leaving her roommate almost blinded by the spray.

"Where's by phode? I wadda catch this guy lookig at us add take a picture of it, baybe eved a video" Brice stumbled across the living room, looking for her phone.

"He's lookig at us right dow. Better be quick" Jill told her.

"Foudd it" Brice grabbed her phone and pointed it towards the window. "Let be just Ha Eshoo!" she dropped her phone just as she was about to take a picture. By the time she picked it up again, the guy was gone.

A few days later, Jill and Brice were walking back to their apartment from the store. By that time, they had both gotten over their colds. Suddenly, Jill noticed the guy from the building next to theirs walking towards them.

"Check it out" she alerted Brice, pointing ahead. "Look who it is".

"You know what? I think I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind" said Brice.

"Wait, maybe it's not" Jill tried in vain to dissuade her friend, who walked briskly up to the guy.

"Hey! You! Did you like that view you got the other day?" Brice was talking so loudly, Jill was afraid people nearby would stop and stare.

"Excuse me?" the guy looked baffled.

"Come on, don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about" said Brice. "You're always staring at us when we're sneezing. We saw you, standing there like a creep, watching us suffer through our colds. You must've had the time of your perverted little life".

"Oh, I see" the guy said, sounding not afraid, but more like... sad? "Look, I can explain".

"Please do" Jill said, hoping Brice won't start lashing out again.

"Alright, here's the thing" the guy took a deep breath. "I don't want to make you self-conscious or anything, but you have quite loud sneezes" he told Jill.

"Wow, you've got some nerve" Brice huffed. "Not only were you staring at us, now you're gonna try and claim this is somewhat our fault"?

"No, I didn't mean it like that, please let me explain" the guy was almost begging.

"Go on" said Jill.

"The thing is, ever since I got back from my second tour, I've been really sensitive to loud noises" the guy blushed. "I'm really sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable, it's just that loud noises make me jumpy. Looking for the source of the noise is an instinct. I'm trying to work on that, I really am, but nothing I do seems to work".

"Hold on, did you say 'tour'? You're a musician?" Jill asked with starts in her eyes.

"No, you idiot, he was a soldier!" Brice's facepalm was so strong it was almost audible.

"Look, I don't mean to be rude, but if I show up late for work again I'll get fired. It's my fourth job in six months, so I really can't afford to lose it. Once again, I'm sorry if I accidentally made you feel uncomfortable".

The guy started walking away and was almost gone before Brice mumbled "Thank you for your service" in a voice that was nowhere near as loud as her lashing out. She feared he might not have heard her, but he turned around, gave her a sad smile and kept walking away.

"Seriously? A musician?" Brice found her loud voice again by lashing out at Jill.

"What? It was an honest mistake" said Jill.

"You're unbelievable" Brice huffed and the two of them then kept walking back home.

[lblmr32]

A few weeks have passed and Darya was beginning to wonder if she had imagined the whole scene at the store with Sally. Googling "Camp Eden" only got her results that had nothing to do with any village near her town. The maps were useless as well. She tried asking other people in town about it, thinking maybe it was just Chester that was hostile for some reason, but the few people who were willing to give her more than a shrug or an upset murmur simply told her that girls from THAT village were bad news. From the little information she did manage to gather, it seemed that no one was sure exactly how long "Camp Eden" existed and that there was very little interaction between its people and the people of the town. It seemed that if people from "Camp Eden" needed something that wasn't available in their village, they usually went to other towns or even to the city that was over an hour away from them and skipped Darya's particular town. Judging by the fact that people only spoke of girls from that village, Darya concluded that either it was an all-women community or the only people from that village that ever visited her town were women.

The futility of her efforts soon sent Darya back to her usual routine. She spent her days working as a clerk at Joe's hardware store and her nights mostly playing pool at Luke's bar. One of the very few good things about living in this small town where she knew everyone was the fact that she was mostly spared from guys hitting on her. If someone at the bar would have one drink too many and would try his luck, she could count on beefy Luke to intervene. Those occasions were very rare though. She did try dating some of the town's young men in the past, but nowadays she mostly liked to be alone. It was a pretty boring life, but Darya knew she could do much worse. Then again, when she saw that girl at the store she felt like there was something inside her that was awakening, something that's been asleep for way too long.

One gray day, Darya was passing by Chester's store when she saw someone coming out of it in a hurry. That someone turned out to be Sally. Darya couldn't help but notice that Sally looked a little pale and was once again carrying several boxes of tissues.

"Looks like cold season hit your village after all" Darya told Sally, who turned around. "Or are you just preparing yourself again". "Do *sniffle* it's the real thig this tibe" Sally smiled weakly. "Are all these boxes for you?" Darya asked, only partially joking. "You're fuddy Ha Itshoo!" Sally sneezed. "Bless you" Darya told her. "I hope they're taking good care of you on that village of yours". "Actually, I'b the ode takig care of theb" Sally sniffled. "Or at least I was before I started cobig dowd with this cold as well". "Were you, like, the last one standing?" Darya asked. "I Tshoo! Sobethig like that" Sally replied. "They're actually waitig for be back at the village. We're albost out of Hi Tshoo! tissues". "Not very surprising" said Darya. "You don't look like you should be driving right now though, if you don't mind me saying. Plus, you should probably start taking care of your own cold". "It would've beed dice if I had sobeode takig care of be, dow that you've bedtioded it" Sally said almost suggestively.

Should Darya volunteer to take care of Sally? What do you think?

[lblmr32]

"Got a bad cold"? It was not like Darya to just start asking strangers random questions, but when she saw the girl in the store who was buying multiple boxes of tissues she just couldn't help herself. Besides, life in a small town had Darya bored out of her mind. This little interaction was the closest thing to "interesting" she had in forever. "No" the girl replied "but the season is starting. Some of us are bound to catch one sooner or later, so it's best to be prepared". "Us?" was Darya's follow up question. "The rest of us in 'Camp Eden', where I live" the girl smiled. "Never heard of it" said Darya. "You don't get out of town much, do you? It's a small village, about 20 minutes north west of here" said the girl. "I do get out of town, sometimes" Darya said, somewhat defensively "but I don't remember even seeing 'Camp Eden' on the map". "We're not very well known" the girl admitted. "Most of us prefer to keep it that way. Sorry, I forgot my manners: I'm Sally". "Hey there - you gonna buy somethin or not?" Chester, the store owner, yelled from the cash register. Darya has never seen him treat a potential customer like that. He was usually very sweet and polite. "Yes, of course" Sally smiled and went to pay for the tissue boxes. She was almost out the door when Darya returned to her senses. "I'm Darya, by the way" she introduced herself. "Nice to meet you, Darya" Sally left the store with one last smile. "Those 'Camp Eden' girls are bad news" Chester told Darya shortly after Sally left. "You best be staying away from them". But Darya, for the first time in a long while, was intrigued.

This is the start of an idea for a story I had. Wanna read more?

[capedcaretaker]

There's so many female characters that deserve to sneeze and be sneezed on

[lblmr32]

Dear Tumblr hashtag filter, Would it be possible for you to get your fucking job done?! Can I scroll through my feed without being constantly bombarded with content on that fandom I have bellow zero interest in, even though I'm almost the only one who's not into it? Spare my tired eyes, please.

[lblmr32]

All Too Human

"Hu Pchoooooooooooooo"! Bella felt horrible. Her throat was sore, her body ached, she couldn't breath through her nose but at the same time it just wouldn't stop running. "Ha A Pchooooooooooo!" she buried her nose in a tissue with another massive sneeze and groaned. After trying in vain yet again to empty her red and itchy nose, she threw the used tissue on the top of her bed, adding it to the growing pile on the covers. "What a biserable cold" she whined. "It bight just be the worst ode I've had id by Hea PchuHoooooooooooooo! life". All of a sudden, Bella remembered something her friend Ivy told her: "If you ever catch a cold, give me a call and I'll come take care of you". "Tibe to see if she's really that good of a friedd" Bella mumbled and grabbed her phone. "Hu E Pchooooooooo!" she sprayed her screen with a juicy sneeze the moment Ivy answered. "Bless you, Bells" Ivy smiled. "Are your allergies bothering you again"? "Dot by allergies sniffle just a really bad cold" Bella replied and blew her nose. "I could really uae sobe carig right dow. Will you cobe over"? "Sure thing" said Ivy. "I'll be there as soon as I can, with tea and tissues". "Add baybe Haaaaaaaaaaa Pchooooooooooooo! sobe bedicide too?" Bella suggested. "Let me check my medicine cabinet. Maybe there's some good stuff in there, but no promises. See you soon" Ivy ended the call.

"Stadd back *sniffle* I'b godda Hhhhhhhhhh He Pchooooooooooooo! Excuse be" was how Bella welcomed Ivy into her house a little while later. "Poor thing" Ivy patted Bella's back as her sick friend sniffled and coughed. "I couldn't find any good cold medicine, but I'll take care of you as best as I can". "Thadk you so buch, Ivy" Bella started coughing again. "You should be careful dot to catch by cold though. It's dot a fud ode to have". "Don't worry about it" said Ivy. "You're dot afarid of catchig by cold?" Bella asked. "Oh, I am definitely going to catch it, but that's OK" Ivy replied. "In fact, I encourage you to give it to me. Sneeze and cough in my face if you have to, but I need to catch your cold and I need it to happen soon. This is an opportunity I just can't miss". "Ad opportudity for Waaaaaaaaaaa Pchooooooooooooooo! what?" the big sneeze got mixed with Bella's question. "I can't tell you yet, but I'm gonna make it worth your while" Ivy held a tissue to Bella's nose. "Blow" she told her and Bella complied. "Good girl" Ivy didn't seem even a little worried about the mucus overflowing the tissue and touching her fingertips. "*cough cough* Hu Pchooooooooooooo!" a cloud of germs surrounded Ivy, who just stood there in peace. "That's the spirit" she told Bella. "Just keep doing that and I'll be all good and sick in no time".

"Hi, Ivy. It's been a while" Alice said when she answered the video call two days later. "Ye Tshooooooooo! Guess who has a juicy cold id her dose?" Ivy brought her red and drippy nostrils closer to the phone's camera. "Impressive" said Alice. "How did you manage that"? "By friedd Bella has a biserable cold add I took care of her Hhhhhh Tshooooooo!" Ivy presented a theatrical sneeze. "Keep that energy" Alice told her. "I'll come right over. We can wrap this up in a couple of hours and then it's straight to the studio". "Could you get be sobe bore E Tshooooooooo! tissue whed you cobe? By dose is ruddig like crazy" Ivy sniffled. "As many tissues as you need, my little star" Alice smiled. "I'll tell Skylar to get her studio ready".

Ivy held a tissue in front of her face, her inflamed nostrils flaring and vibrating in preparation for an impending sneeze. "Ha Tshoooooooooooooo!" she sneezed very dramatically and then looked up, tissue still pressed firmly against her nose. "By dose is so sedsitive whed I have a cold" she said. "Look at all the tissues I've beed usig" she gestured towards the piles of used tissues covering the bed. "Id tibes like these *sniffle* there's odly ode bradd of tissues I cad trust" she held up the box of "Extra" tissues. "Do other bradd cad cobpare to 'Extra'. They're both extra strodg add extra soft. Just what I deed to haddle a bad cold" she gave her nose a wet blow. "Cold add flu seasod is here. Bake sure you're always extra prepared with 'Extra' tissues Yei Tshoooooooooo!" she sneezed dramatically yet again. "Bless be". "Perfect. That's a wrap" Skylat declared. "Oh good" Ivy coughed and blew her nose again. "I cad't wait to be back hobe id by owd bed". "All I have to do now is add the narration at the end, right? The one with your slogan?" Skylar asked Alice. "That's right. 'Goig the extra bile for you dose' add thed add the bradd's logo" Alice confirmed. "Will do" said Skylar. "You really pulled this off in record time". "Ha A Pchi! Too bad we did't pull this off before this cold got idto by dose" Alice sniffled. "He Eshooo!" Skylar cupped her hands to her face to cover a sudden sneeze. "Shit". "Looks like this cold works id record tibe as well" Alice handed her a tissue. "Do you Hu PchShi! deed ady help gettig the job dode"? "Ha Ashooo! I'll badage" Skylar replied.

"Soup is served. Get your soup while it's good add warb" Bella announced a few days later in Ivy's house. She was still sick, but clearly on the mend. "E Shooo! I hate beig sick" Skylar complained. "I hate it so He Ashooo! buch". "Ha PchaShi! By dose is so tickly. I feel like I cad just Hish Pchi! sdeeze for days od edd" Alice rubbed her bright red nose with the back of her hand. "At least the cobpady was gederous edough to give us a bassive supply of Ye Tshoooooooo! tissues" Ivy grabbed a tissue from a box labeled "Extra" and gave her nose a snotty blow. "They said this is godda be their best cabpaigd id Yi Teshooooooooooo! years". "The bodey sure is good" Skylar agreed. "Albost bakes it worth havig this He Eshooo! disgustig cold". "You're all welcobe, by the way Haaaaa Pchoooooooooo!" Bella winked and sneezed. "Colds ared't copyright protected though" Alice reminded her. "Gettig us sick was just the first step. If you wadt your share of the bodey, you deed to Haaaaaaaaaa Pchiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! durse us all back to health. You cad start by helpig be blow by dose". "Ha Tshooooooo! I have ad idea for sobethig you cad use" Ivy handed Bella the box. "Hu Pchooooooooooooo!" Bella didn't have time to pull a tissue out of the box, so she just sneezed into the box itself. "Oops. She giggled. "Good thig we have pledty bore of those".

With AI taking their jobs for several years, creative people such as actors and writers had to also be creative in finding ways to earn their living. Advertisement, which used to provide them with lots of job opportunities, has been dominated by lazy people using AI tools in order to avoid paying actual humans. Campaigns have been bland and repetitive, but they were cheap so the bosses didn't mind. Then again, it made genuine human work pop out and there were still some companies that appreciated originality. Usually those companies were pretty small, which is why they needed to find original ways to get ahead. Choosing to work with real people with real creativity rather than with machines was one such way. As for those real people, they were willing to through a lot in order to find a steady source of income. Catching a cold, even a bad one, was not the worst way to get a gig.

[lblmr32]

Going Up and Coming Down

57 floors. "Oh well, at least I'm indoors now" Su thought. Her umbrella was still dripping wet from the rain outside. She could actually see her breath earlier as she rushed to the building where she was working. Now, in the elevator, she allowed herself to take off her hat and scarf. There was another woman in the elevator, who seemed a few years younger than her. "Dressed to impress" Su thought as she gave a quick glance towards the woman. "Not for staying warm though". "Wait! Hold the door!" came the call from outside. A third woman squeezed herself in the elevator seconds before the door closed. "I hate it when people do that" Su thought. "Going up" the elevator announced. "Finally" Su thought. "I'm almost running late as it is. Only 57 floors to go".

61 floors. "Will this door ever close? I'm freezing here!" Kelly thought. It was her first week at her new job and she wanted to look her best. Too bad it was cold and rainy outside. Fortunately, the subway station was only a two-minutes walk away from the building, so she didn't have to spend too much time in the cold and the rain. Her hair only had a few droplets of rain in it (she rushed to get out of her house and forgot to take her umbrella), but she was sure it'll dry off by the time the elevator gets to the 61st floor. Besides, the woman standing next to her still seemed to be shivering a bit, despite being dressed more warmly than Kelly. "Wait! Hold the door!" came the call from outside. A third woman squeezed herself in the elevator seconds before the door closed. "Argh! The door was just about to close" Kelly bit her lip. "Going up" the elevator announced. "Finally" Kelly thought. "OK, get it together. Time to make heads spin".

Lara pressed the button for the 74th floor and tried to catch her breath. "Going up" the elevator announced. "Please, please, oh god please let this ride be over soon" Lara thought.

4…5…6…

The three women just stood there, not making eye contact with each other. Each of them was deep in her own thoughts.

10…11…12…

"Oh no" Lara was alarmed by a sudden feeling.

23…24…25…

"Not now…"

32

"He Umpch!" the doctor has warned Lara about stifling her sneezes, but she was not about to just openly sneeze in the elevator. "Excuse be" she told the others, her hands clasped firmly over her mouth and nose.

"Gross" Kelly thought.

"At least she covered" Su thought.

41

Suddenly, the elevator stopped and the lights went out. Kelly screamed. "Don't worry, it happens sometimes" Su told her. "The lights should be back on any second now. Probably just a system overload".

Indeed, the lights turned back on a moment later, but the elevator wasn't moving. "System error. Please wait while the system reboots" read the message on the screen.

"What's going on?" Kelly asked with panic in her voice. "Dammit" Su sighed. "It must be from the storm outside or something. People told me it happened to them, but I never thought it'd happen to me. Guess my luck ran out. We might be stuck in here for a while". "Stuck?! I can't be stuck!" the panic in Kelly's voice did not subside. "Hey, I'm gonna be late too, but there's nothing we can do" Su shrugged. "He Tshooooo! Do ady of you have a tissue?" Lara asked. Kelly moved as far away from Lara as she could while Su started going over her purse. "I think I have something… here" she handed Lara a travel-sized pack of tissues. "Thadk Tshoooooo!" Lara didn't manage to open the pack in time before sneezing again. "Sorry" she sniffled. "I'b a little udder the weather".

As a matter of fact, Lara had a horrible cold. She also had no sick days left, which is why she was forced to drag herself out of bed and into her car. Traffic was a nightmare in more than one way. Even while standing, she had to keep a considerable distance between her car and the one before it, fearing that she might crash into it if she sneezed too hard. Other drivers were not happy about it, to say the least. Now she was stuck in an elevator for who knows how long with two other women and a growing tickle in her nose.

"Disgusting" Kelly thought as she looked at the sniffling Lara. "Is it not bad enough that I'm stuck in this elevator, it had to be with Typhoid Mary over there"?

"My luck has definitely run out" Su's heart sank.

"God, I am so humilated" Lara barely had time to finish that thought before her nose started tickling again.

"What now?" Kelly rolled her eyes as she heard Lara sniffling.

"Oh, we are so doomed" Su thought as she saw Lara's face twitching.

"Ha Tshooooooooo! I ab so sorry" Lara struggled to speak while fighting a losing battle with her itchy cold. "By dose just wod't Ehe Hei Tshooooooo! give be a Tshooooo! break. Oh god *sniffle* I cad't stA Tshoooooooooo! stop".

"That's just great" Kelly thought as she tried in vain to stay out of the line of spray. "Now I'm definitely going to catch her cold. Why do those things always happen to me"?

"Dear god, that woman is a mess" Su thought as she watched Lara continue to sneeze and sneeze. "That's probably the same mess I'm gonna be in within a day or two".

Lara was beyond thoughts at that point. Her nose took complete control over her and all she could do was sneeze. At first she tried to apologize, but it was a waste of breath. Every second that wasn't spent on attempting to cover her sneezes was devoted to prayers for the elevetor to finally start moving again.

Both Su and Kelly shared those prayers. Neither of them knew it, but they were already sick when they entered the elevator. The stress of starting a new job (in Kelly's case) or being overworked in your current one (in Su's case) took its toll. Being exposed to Lara's sneezes simply triggered the cold that laid dormant inside their bodies.

Minutes went by and Lara's fit was finally starting to subside. On the other hand, a tickle began to blossom in Su's nose. "Ye Shooooooo!" the sneeze was so strong it bent her double. "Ew!" Kelly called when she felt the droplets of spray hitting her. "Watch where you Ha Ishooo!" her own sneeze took her by surprise and was thus uncovered as well. "You were Ya Shooooooo! sayig? Oh god *sniffle* where are by tissues?" Su then realized that she gave all of her tissues to Lara. "I'b so sorry" Lara blushed. "I thidk I've used all of theb". "Hi Ishooooooooo!" Kelly sneezed openly again, thinking that she might as well just let her sneezes out so she could get rid of the tickle in her nose. "Bless He A Tshooooooo! bless you" Lara told her, the tickle in her own nose rekindled by the sneezes of the others. "I deed to He Ishoooooo! get out of here before by dose starts ru… Ishoooooo! ruddig all over the place" Kelly sniffled furiously. "Ya Tshooooooooo! Hopefully it wod't take too lodg Ye TshiShoooooooooo!" tears were filling Su's eyes, so she couldn't see the countdown on the elevator screen.

"Reboot at 67%" the message read.

By the time the elevator finally began moving again, all three women were a complete mess. Their noses, wrecked by countless sneezes, were red and runny. It was only by sound that they noticed the elevator moving again, since their eyes were red and puffy.

"Going up" the elevator announced.

"Ya Shooooooooooooo!" Su announced her arrival as she stepped out of the elevator at the 57th floor.

"I Shoooooo, Ei Shooooooo, Ha Hai Ishoooooooo!" heads did turn when Kelly sneezed her way out of the elevator at the 61st floor.

"Haaaaaa Haaaaaaaaaaaa He TshuHoooooooooooooooo!" Lara almost fell over when the elevator door opened at the 74th floor.

It was an elevator ride all three of them would rather forget, but the cold they had meant things weren't going to get any less embarrassing for the next few days.

[lblmr32]

Just when you thought YouTube couldn't get any shittier, they went ahead and disabled the "recent" search filter. Guess they wouldn't be a major tech company without constantly fucking things up.

[lblmr32]

"All I wadt for Christbas is Tshoooooooooooo"!

[lblmr32]

"Oh do *sniffle* here I go agaid Ha Ha Ha TshiShoooooooo!" Jane's hands flew to the sides as her body jerked forward with a powerful sneeze. "Hu Itshoooo! Ugh! *sniffle* I have't sdeezed this buch id a lodg tibe" said Meg. She was lying on the couch in her living room, covered with two blankets but still shivering. "By dose would dot stop ruddig" said Emily, who was soaking her feet in a tub filled with warm water. "Ei Shoooo! Add the sdeezes are odly bakig it worse". "It does't batter how bady tibes I sdeeze *sniffle* I still cad't He Eshoooo! get ady air through by dose" Linda said before honking loudly into her handkerchief. "This is dot how I ibagided our Christbas would be He Itshoooooo!" sneezed Meg. "We're all so sick' it's He Tshui! such a shabe" said Jane. "So buch for Ha Ashoooooo! berry Christbas" Linda's statement was instantly followed by a fit of coughs. "I was really lookig forward to speddig Christbas with you guys" Emily sniffled. "Dow we wod't be doig adythig except He Ishooooo! sdeezig add coughig".

At this point, you're probably wondering who's fault it was that the four friends had to spend Christmas sick with a terrible cold. It's the very same question that each of them dreaded, but it turned out that neither of them was directly responsible for ruining Christmas.

The four of them became friends during college and even though it's been a few years since they graduated (and the fact that one of them moved to a different city) they remanied close. Every year they would get together at least once during the holidays and they especially liked to spend Christmas together if they were able to. This year, it was Meg that volunteered to host their Christmas gathering and fortunatelly they were all able to make it.

Emily was thrilled when she managed to book a flight in time. Traveling during the holidays wasn't always easy. Her joy was rapidly replaced by terror when she noticed all the sick people in her flight. Sneezes and coughs could be heard all around. As the flight was reaching its final stages, some of the flight attendants seemed to be getting sick too. Emily had the misfortune of getting sneezed on directly by one of them. By the time she got out of the airport, she was sniffling constantly.

Linda, who was a professor at the very same college they all met, had an expectation that her students would be more careful about spreading germs than the average kindergarten kids. Countless of students unable to keep their germs to themselves proved her wrong. They often neglected covering their coughs and sneezes and would even leave their used tissues just lying around. As much as she hoped she could avoid catching the campus cold, by Christams eve she had a red nose and a hacking cough.

People weren't more hygienic at the office where Jane worked. Clients and co-workers alike, every other person she met for the past two weeks was showing clear signs of illness. Jane's nose has always been easily irritated and she was susceptible to viruses, so it didn't take too long before her loud sneezes were added to the various sick sounds heard around the office.

Meg wanted to make this Christmas perfect. She even decided to dress up as Santa, just for laughs. Her trip to the mall was supposed to be fun and she was very excited as she made her shopping list. The mall was crowded, but that didn't bother her. Getting sneezed and coughed on, however, very much did. A particularly juicy sneeze from a cashier might've been the thing that sealed her fate, but she could feel the tickle building in her own nose way before that. When she walked out of the mall and was hit by a blast of cold air, it triggered a sneeze that almost made her drop the bags she was holding. She then went back into the mall and made a big purchase at the pharmacy, which proved to be essential. When her friends came, each of them with a cold of her own, they were glad to find a big supply of tissues and tea waiting for them. Secretly, each of them felt relived that she won't be able to get the others sick. Linda brought several handkerchiefs with her and she was more than happy to lend a couple to Jane. Emily's feet were cold and tired after her flight and thus she was given the tub. Meg did her best to take care of her friends, but when Jane and Linda noticed that she was shivering they ordered her to lie down.

"Hu I Tshooooo, He A Tshioooooo, Hih Tshooooo! By dose hurts frob all the sdeezes" Meg complained. "Try blowid it with ode of these, dear" Linda offered her friend a handkerchief. "It bight help". "You should listed to her, Beg" said Jane. "A haddkerchief feels so buch better od by poor dose". "Let be try it thed" Meg said and gave her nose a wet blow. "You were right, Lidda *sniffle* it really helps". "I'd rather Ha Ish! stick to by Ei Shoooo! trusted tissues *sniffle* thadk you very buch" said Emily. "Are the water id your tub still warb?" Linda asked. "For dow" Emily replied with a sniffle. "You should codsider gettig a tub for yourself as well, Lidda". "He Ashooooooooo! Baybe I should, Ebily" Linda sniffled. "I'b just worried I bight Ha Eshoooooooo! kdock the tub over with ode of by sdeezes". "By sdeezes will surely do that Hu Ash Tshiiiiiiiiiiiii!" Jane sneezed as if she was trying to prove her point. "They're I Yesh Tshooooooooooo! buch too strodg". "At least get yourself a bladket, Jade" said Emily. "You're startig to Hei Ishooo, Ha Ish, Ei Shoooo! shiver like Beg". "Ebily's right, Jade" said Meg. "You cad Haaaa Tshoooooo, Hhhhhhh Hu Tishooooooo! have ode of by bladkets" said Meg. "Thadk you so buch Ha Ha TshiShooooooooooo, Ha TshaShiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, He Yish Tshoooooooooooo! OwwwwI" Jane groaned miserably.

[lblmr32]

Imagine your mind being totally consumed by thoughts about your next sneezefic only to be snapped out of those thoughts by... a sneeze. That's exactly what happened to me the other day, except it was a double sneeze.

[lblmr32]

One of my first ever snzblr posts was about art from an old site called "Gallery of the Sneezes". To this day, it still has some of the best snzkink art IMO. However, I've always had a little technical problem regarding that site. I was never able to access two of the illustrations, the ones on the bottom left corner of the first two pages (the third page only has three illustrations, all accessible). The one on the bottom left corner of the first page seems to be showing a sick woman soaking here feet in cold water while someone is talking to her from outside her window. On the second page, the illustration is called "Friendsneezes" and seems to be showing two people sneezing into tissues. I know it's a longshot, but is there any chance that someone here has access to said illustrations? Even though this is a very old site, a part of me hasn't given up the dream of seeing them.

And just in case the original artist, "Sneezecoldbr", sees this post: You are a goddam legend!

Gallery page 1:

https://www.geocities.ws/sneezecoldbr2002/ilustrations.htm

Gallery page 2:

https://www.geocities.ws/sneezecoldbr2002/ilustrations2.htm

[lblmr32]

Two girls one cup? Nope!

Two girls one cold? Hell yeah!!

[lblmr32]

Promotion

"Hea Reshooooooooooooo"! "I think those windows need reinforced glass" Kim jokingly told Peggy when another thunderous sneeze echoed inside Joana's office. While everyone else worked in one big open space, Joana was the boss so she had an office of her own. That was a good thing, since Joana often caught horrible colds and her sneezes were massive. "Why couldn't she have just stayed at home like a normal person?" Kim sighed as the sound of honking nose blows was heard. "It's like she does that on purpose". "Of course she does that on purpose" said Peggy. "You should know that by now". "Hua ReShaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" even though the workers have been used to Joana's sneezes by now, occasionally she would let out one that turned at least a few heads around. "Too bad no one here has the balls to say anything" Kim sighed. "How are we expected to work when she keeps distracting us? Not to mention the risk of contagion". "Oh, she's counting on that contagion" said Peggy. "Joana thinks her colds are, like, a test of character or something. That's why she never stays home when she's sick. Well, that and because she's the boss. Eventually another women will catch it and Joanna will grant her a 'reward' for 'taking her cold'. That would be the end of it until the next time Joana gets sick". "But why does it have to be a woman though?" Kim asked. "That's what I really don't get". "According to Joana, men are pathetic crybabies when they get sick" Peggy replied. "Good point" Kim had to admit. "Joana wants to demonstrate to her workers how to power through a cold and keep working without collapsing" Peggy continued. "Whichever woman is brave enough to approach Joana when she's sick and catch her cold will eventually get some perks". "Hi A Tshooooooooooo!" the windows of Joana's office trembled in the wake of another booming sneeze. "Are those perks really worth catching one of Joana's horrible colds?" Kim wondered. "Guess you won't know until you try" Peggy told her. "Personally, I'm happy with my work status. You, on the other hand, are much more ambitious than I am. I think you should make a move". "Now that you've mentioned it, I do want to get ahead" said Kim. "I mean, Joana will promote me eventually, I'm very good at my job, but I can always use some extra money, so maybe it would be a good idea if I... expedite things a bit". "Hitsh Yeshaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"! "Wish me luck" Kim said as she got up from her chair. "You'll need it" said Peggy. "Take this" she handed Kim a handkerchief. "It might improve your chances". "Unorthodox. I like it" said Kim. "I'll tell her it's yours".

"Cobe id" Joana called when Kim knocked on her door. "How are you feeling?" Kim asked her when she entered. "Like I've beed hit by a truck" Joanna replied before blowing her nose. "Still *sniffle* the show bust go od. Cad't let a little cold stop be. Did you bridg be the Bathisod files by ady chadce"? "The what? Oh, the Mathison files. Yes, of course" Kim placed the folder on Joana's desk. "I also brought you this". "A haddkerchief? Very origidal, I bust say" Joana smiled and took the handkerchief from Kim. "It's Peggy's" said Kim. "Personally, I prefer to use tissues, but we thought it might feel better on your nose". "Let's test your theory thed" the room was filled with the sound of gurgling nose blows as Joana brought the handkerchief to her nose and blew for almost two minutes straight. "You two bight be odto sobethig" she said once she was done. "Is there adythig else you wadted to discuss, Kib"? "Just... wanted to know if there's anything else I can do that might help you deal with this cold of yours" Kim replied nervously. "Well *sniffle* you kdow what they say: The best way to get rid of a cold is by givig it to sobeode else" said Joana. "Is that clinically proven?" Kim joked in an attempt to lighten up the whole situation. "Fuddy" Joana let out a congested snort and coughed. "Of course, I was odly jokig byself. Well, partially jokig. As a batter of fact, I could use sobeode by by side whed I have this cold. It would deed to be sobeode who's dot afraid of by gerbs though. Daturally, that persod would prove thebselves worthy of probotiod id the dear future. So let be ask you, Kib: Do you thidk you're that persod"? "Absolutely" Kim replied with confidence. "I guess we'll fidd out sood edough, wod't we? He AtshiYeshoooooooo, Hu Rishaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Joana caught the sneezes in the handkerchief, but Kim knew she won't always be so lucky.

"Alright, open wide" Peggy told Kim two days later. "You dod't have to feed be bedicide" Kim sniffled. "I'b dot a baby, you kdow. Owwwww" she groaned. "By head hurts frob all of this codgestiod. Catchig Joada's cold bight eard be a quick probotiod, but I just hope it does't kill be first". "It won't if you just let me help you" Peggy finally managed to convince Kim to take the medicine. "After all, I'm the one who suggested you make a move". "Add dow Joada's cold has bade its bove Ho Esho, Hu Hu Haaaa Tshooooo!" Kim sneezed twice into a tissue. "First it boved idto by dose *sniffle* add dow I'b worried it's bakig its way idto by chest" she let out a few deep coughs, as if to prove her point. "Was she at least pleased with you?" Peggy asked. "Ha Tshoooo, He Eshoooo! Yes *sniffle* very buch" Kim replied. "She said I was exebplary *sniffle* takig everythig id stride". "And when her cold got too bad you even managed to convince her to take a few days off" Peggy added. "That's truly remarkable". "Heeee Haaaa Hi Ashooooo! I just hope by cold wod't He I Tsho! be as bad as He Eshoooo! Joada's" Kim said before blowing her nose.

Two more days passed and Joana returned to the office. She was still sick, but getting better. Kim, on the other hand, was feeling awful and could not stop sneezing. "Good bordig, Kib. How is your cold today?" Joana asked her red-nosed employee. "Ha Ha Ha Tshoooo! Good bordig, Joada He Ishooo!" Kim's reply was muffled by the tissues she was sneezing into. "By cold is... is.... I Tshoooo! still goig strog *cough cough* as you cad probably tell. Still *sniffle* I probise I'b well edough to... to...... Hu Eshoooooo! to work" she sniffled miserably and coughed some more. "Haaaa Pshooooooooo!" Joana turned her head and saw Peggy covering her face with her hands. She then removed them, revealing a bright red nose of her own. "Bless you" Joana told her and smiled. "I guess this beads you've beed helpig Kib deal with her cold *sniffle* or rather Ha Rashooooooooooooo! by cold". "Yes, Joada" Peggy sniffled. "I kdow you wadt us wobed to be strog add Hi Pshoooooo! soldier od whed we're sick *sniffle* but I thidk supportig each other is Hu Pshoooooo! just as ibportadt". "I could't agree bore" said Joana. "Kib showed be the ibportadce of wobed supportig each other. She also told be the haddkerchief was your idea. Thadk you for that, by the way. I probise I He Ash Tshooooooooooo! used it thoroughly". "I cad U Pshoooo, Ha Ipshooooo! fidd you sobe bore haddkerchiefs if you wadt" Peggy suggested. "Do deed, but thadk you for the offer" Joanna sniffled. "You should probably save theb for yourself. Id fact, I wadt you add Kib to go hobe dow. Cobe back odce you're over this cold". "But there's so buch work to be dode Ha Atshoooo, Esho, Hu Tshoooo!" Kim sneezed and then started coughing. "Gooddess, Kib, Bless you Haaaa Pshooooooo! add bless Hu Pshoooooooo! be too" said Peggy. "I deed you two back od your feet id a week ad a half" said Joana. "There's this big codvedtiod I wadt you to attedd. Flights add all expedses will be fully covered, sidce you'll be represedtig our cobpady. However, colds add cabid pressure do dot bix *sniffle* so I suggest you get pledty of rest". Kim and Peggy tried to thank her, but all that came out was more sneezes and coughs.