Shine on, you crazy diamond!

28M Dude who does shit sometimes, but not often.

[roscolux]

need to beam this tweet directly into everyone's minds right now

[pseudomantis]

[is-the-owl-video-cute-deactivat]

a squirrel or perhaps a cardinal posted this

[phaeton-flier]

How about you mind your own damn business

[catcrumb]

[processintegrated]

[henstomper]

oh my god the slot machine company says i have to keep putting coins in their machine or Im Gonna Get Left Behind. thats so scary. and it has to be true because they know more about slot machines than i do

[henstomper]

oh my god the slot machine company says if we dont give them money to build the world's biggest slot machine the chinese are gonna build it first and win all the prizes. and then there wont be any prizes anymore

[giragirameganedan]

just woke up from a dream in which “having a two year old alter” was such a common identity facet among the general public that you could buy like mugs and gift bags etc related to this at any walmart or target

[giragirameganedan]

bumper sticker reading “watch out: i’m letting this fucker drive!” alongside the universally understood symbol for two year old alter

[prudenceanagram]

[t00thpasteface]

me before i get my paycheck: i'm so excited to spend this on essentials and save the rest wisely

me as soon as that direct deposit hits: you know i've always wanted to learn the theremin

[t00thpasteface]

me before i get my paycheck: i'm so excited to spend this on essentials and save the rest wisely

me as soon as that direct deposit hits: you know i've always wanted to learn the theremin

[reader-from-nowhere]

i lied this is actually my favorite dynamic

[thefugitivesaint]

Hiro Kimura, ''Howling Mad'' by Peter David, 1989 Premise: Wolf is bitten by a werewolf and turns into a man on full moon nights. That's the gist of it.

[glavilio]

[glavilio]

[glavilio]

*using mac* i'm a sleek corporate IT milf email whisperer with a microchip on my shoulder and a motherboard of gold. the glass ceiling has been shattered. we're a family. user centered design. i am steve jobs

*using linux* i'm a freakkyy goth hacker chick about to get my dick suxxed cyber style. superuser do me and she barely GNU me. i'm ready to put my therian life on-the-line for free and open source software. rawr

*using windows* i'm in hell

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

used to live in a college town that was huge on sports. 80% of small talk was sportsball and so i developed an Evil Habit: whenever the conversation inevitably turned to the upcoming Big Game i would act excited and then confused. I would earnestly insist they had the details wrong. "the game next Saturday? don't you mean the Thursday after? playing against the [predator species]? no we're playing against the [other predator species]." And so on. i would draw this argument out for as long as feasibly possible, until eventually someone would pull out their phone to prove to me my wrongness. At which point I would squint exaggerated at the screen, slap my forehead in an eureka moment, and exclaim "oh you meant the MEN'S team!!! are they doing a game? that's nice."

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

oh good tags:

#i have the rare joy of living in an area where the college team people care most about is women #but that also makes interacting with anyone not from here on the subject feel very odd #like wdym you only watch the men’s version of the sport. wdym you treat that as the default?? we root for our girls here

[i-am-bic]

"There's no platonic explanation for this" <-you need to be nicer to your friends. Right now

[i-am-a-fish]

stretching feels so so so so good I just did it and it was so good. I might indulge myself with another stretch and quite soon

[vaguely-human-i-swear]

My fish started stretching!

[i-am-a-fish]

FISH STRETCHING GIF

[pukicho]

Tomorrow I will be inventing the wheel

[pukicho]

Dude, hold on

[pangur-and-grim]

things I’ve noticed in the UK:

- when you’re jay walking, cars will actively accelerate bc the drivers want to kill you for breaking the rules

- servers in restaurants act very scared and apologetic, so maybe people aren’t nice to them here??? or I could be terrifying

- it’s really cute when little kids have British accents, but I’m unmoved by adults with accents

- extremely good gluten free options. this country is like 20 years ahead of Canada in that regard

- people will give random insignificant buildings names with little plaques. and then that’s the name that shows up on the map. like even a smaller than average family home, you can name it like it’s a dog

- lots of brick and stone buildings. looks cute and charming until you enter one and there’s no air conditioning

- people are still wearing jaguar print. I like this. don’t let it die

[pangur-and-grim]

ohhh okay! amendment: cars will actively try to kill you for being small and made of flesh, instead of cool and metal like them

[molabuddy]

the magic growing dinosaur and the housefly (happy make a terrible comic day!)