[leedelight]

“and then i wrote this to remember:

Stay safe. Live long. Wait. Don't rush. ”

Excerpt from Phrases and Words and Letters and Curses by leedelight

[leedelight]

"I wish I did it better," as I breathe, whispering those words to myself.

I'm now lying on this grassy field with wide arms and feet while staring at the cloudy sky and thinking about what it could be.

If I just did not have second thoughts, If I just have a fixed path for myself, If I was just a person who looks into things positively, If I was just the best in everything,

I wouldn't have to turn into something like this.

I closed my eyes and then imagine.

If everything were just the opposite.

"What are you thinking right now?" coming from a familiar voice in my front.

"Everything," I replied briefly. My eyes were still closed but I'm certain who that person was.

"So...I'm included in that 'everything', right?" confirming, as if this person doesn't know what I will answer to that question.

"Of course. Always," I answered while feeling the breeze of the wind touch my skin, hearing the birds chirping while flapping their wings above the blue cloudy sky.

"I'm always here, too. Now, how about you start creating a new plan and goals again?" he suggested.

I opened my eyes and then sat on the field.

"That was a really good idea," I replied as I turned my head beside you.

"Thanks," I whispered, then touched your gravestone, filled with candle lights and a bouquet of fragrant flowers.

— leedelight, (072022)

© pic from Pinterest Little Women (2019)

[leedelight]

It was Sunday. I went to church just like the others. But I somehow felt different.

Though I'm always doing it, I never felt the presence.

I always pray to the almighty we called but I never felt that thing.

The Holy Spirit.

The mass ended. After a few seconds, people started walking out of the church, just passing by me, continuing their lives just like everybody.

While here I am, in this solemn place that they called, a sacred sanctuary and is full of divinity.

I called you an hour ago and I never felt anything.

I know you didn't answer.

That's why I'm asking you right now,

"Are gods even true and real? Why do I feel like they are not? All of you aren't real," I uttered while staring at the front, gazing at the long illuminated altar.

"What do you mean by gods?" a calm voice asked beside me.

"I'm the only one here," continued as I looked in the direction where the voice came from.

— leedelight, (08042022)

[leedelight]

| Excerpts from Sa Ika-Dalawampu't Isang Palapag ng Bagabag (On the Twenty-first floor of Disquiet) by leedelight

[leedelight]

| Excerpts from Sa Ika-Dalawampu't Isang Palapag ng Bagabag (On the Twenty-first floor of Disquiet) by leedelight

[leedelight]

“Galit ka sa nakaraan, takot ka sa hinaharap...hindi ka masaya sa kasalukuyan!”

| Excerpt from Mga Kaibigan ni Mama Susan by Bob Ong

[leedelight]

| Excerpts from Sa Ika-Dalawampu't Isang Palapag ng Bagabag (On the Twenty-first floor of Disquiet) by leedelight

[leedelight]

| Excerpts from Sa Ika-Dalawampu't Isang Palapag ng Bagabag (On the Twenty-first floor of Disquiet) by leedelight

[leedelight]

| Excerpts from Sa Ika-Dalawampu't Isang Palapag ng Bagabag (On the Twenty-first floor of Disquiet) by leedelight

[leedelight]

| Excerpt from The Book of Disquiet by Fernando Pessoa

[leedelight]

| Excerpts from Sa Ika-Dalawampu't Isang Palapag ng Bagabag (On the Twenty-first floor of Disquiet) by leedelight

[leedelight]

guess ill stay forever on this platform ;D my 2 accounts got suspended smh ;/

[leedelight]

“The Gods are the incarnation of what we can never be.”

| Excerpt from The Book of Disquiet by Fernando Pessoa

[leedelight]

“I feel so anguished I’m on the verge of tears—not the kind that are wept but the kind that stay inside: tears caused by a sickness of the soul, not by a sensible pain.”

| Excerpt from The Book of Disquiet by Fernando Pessoa

[leedelight]

“The most pitiful thing about us, believe me, is what we really aren’t, and our worst tragedies take place in the idea we have of ourselves.”

| Excerpt from The Book of Disquiet by Fernando Pessoa

[leedelight]

| Excerpts from Sa Ika-Dalawampu't Isang Palapag ng Bagabag (On the Twenty-first floor of Disquiet) by leedelight

[leedelight]

| Excerpt from The Book of Disquiet by Fernando Pessoa