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NCT FANFIC LIBRARY
This graphic library is intended to compile NCT fanfictions from different platforms.
Stories in this library are stri
the newlywed series- first time enjoying the “boring” domestic stuff
newlywed!Chenle x f!wife!reader
summary: Chenle never liked doing things around the house, spending his days cleaning or grocery shopping wasn’t something he ever enjoyed until you both got married. Now, these domestic days are days that Chenle looks forward to
word count: 1.6k
the newlywed series
divider from strangergraphics
Chenle would always be the first, probably the second after you, to admit that he’d grown up in a life of privilege and luxury. His family had the nicest cars, didn’t have to worry about money, chores that were done for him, and a pantry that was always magically full. Well, Chenle called it magic, you called her his mom. His laundry was always clean, bathroom always spotless, bed always made without so much as lifting a finger. When he wanted something new, all he had to do was ask.
He remembers that once, when he was much younger, he’d watched his mom try to teach him how to clean his toilet. Every single word she said went in one ear and out the other. When she encouraged him to try for himself, he faked wrist pain and whined like he was doing back breaking labor. After that, she never asked him to do any chores again. It was the same whining every time anyone tried to show him how to do any housework besides washing his dishes or occasionally making his own food. Even walking around the grocery store with a child Chenle was like pulling teeth.
It was a miracle that after nearly a month of being married, all these tiny domestic duties hadn’t been done together yet. You’d both moved into a new place together just a few weeks before your wedding. The pieces that you’d both chosen were delivered and found their rightful places, slowly making the empty space comfortable for the both of you. That had been fun, but it didn’t feel quite real. Those weeks leading up to the wedding had been busy and jam packed with last minute wedding details that had to be dealt with. After the wedding, you’d both gone on an absolutely extraordinary honeymoon for two weeks. Your shared home was being used as a hotel more than it was a home with all the tasks that had been keeping you both busy.
Now that everything was over and done, it felt like your new, very real, married life could finally officially begin and it started with laundry.
Chenle stared at the washing machine, now alone with the appliance as you’d just heaved a basket full of warm clothes onto your hip and left him to do his very first load of laundry by himself. You’d been more than patient all day, carefully explaining the very simple steps as many times as Chenle needed. He nodded to himself, he could do this, millions of people did this every single day.
He exhaled slowly, loading all your mixed honeymoon laundry into the washer, and shut the glass door. “Now, soap. Not too much, just this much,” he muttered as he watched the detergent slowly fill what he hoped was the right compartment. He clicked all the buttons you’d shown him, made sure not to mess with any settings and stepped back slowly, almost cautiously as the washer came to life.
The sounds still scared him, the random spins that stopped suddenly made him wonder if he’d broken the machine on the first try, but then the water came pouring out and he let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. He scurried out of the laundry room, not wanting to be there when* if he really had messed everything up.
Instead he found his way over to you. You were busy sorting and folding laundry like you were a pro at it. Socks were paired, hangers tucked into the collars of shirts, and shorts folded in half right along the seams. You looked over your shoulder at your husband, eyebrows raised, “are you going to stand and watch or are you going to help? We still have to go grocery shopping and I want to go before it’s too late.”
It was a wonder, to his mom especially, and himself even, when you came into the picture and stuck around despite his homely incompetence. Chenle used to very happily tag along with you on whatever outing you invited him to. He was, and still is, madly in love with you, can you really blame him for wanting to spend as much time with you as he can? He remembers quite clearly the first night you’d casually invited him to come grocery shopping with you. He remembers that the grocery store seemed so much calmer and palatable when it was you* by his side. When you were picking your produce, he doesn’t remember feeling impatient like he did when he came to the store with his mom or grandma. Why and how did you make onion picking look so endearing?
He blinked, fumbling with the cotton of your pajama shorts in his hands before you took the fabric from his hands and showed him how to do it properly. The patience you had for him would never fail to amaze him. How and why you’d still married him when he knew little to nothing about house chores would continue to be a mystery to him until you were both old and gray.
With your guidance, folding laundry didn’t seem like a chore. It even made him wonder why people always complained about it when it was so easy and so lovely. Though maybe the lovely part came because it was you* who was beside him the whole time. Even folding another two loads of laundry couldn’t kill the homey vibe you two had going on.
Chenle even felt a tingle of… excitement as you both grabbed a grocery cart and began shopping. Not just for you this time, not joining his mom, no, for both of you. You were shopping for your home that you shared as husband and wife*. God, he loved the sound of that. He loved it so much that it was taking all his willpower not to smile like a maniac while grocery shopping… grocery shopping!
He’d had enough training now, joined you on enough of your solo grocery trips to know what it was like to grocery shop, but he had even more reason to be competent now. What kind of husband would he be if he couldn’t do the simplest task of grocery* shopping with his gorgeous wife? Looking at your list, he helped you gather everything, working your way through the store, section by section, aisle by aisle.
It was a bigger haul than either of you were used to, but then again, you were filling your fridge, freezer, and cabinets up from nothing. You needed the basics like rice, eggs, and butter to keep on hand, all of which would last you a while. You needed some house go-to’s like tomatoes, fruits, other fresh vegetables, and favorite snacks.
In fact, while you stood and contemplated different pasta shapes, Chenle was grabbing all your favorites. His arms were filled with some of his preferred snacks, but mostly yours. He was a good husband like that. Two bags each of your favorite chips, a box of your favorite cookies, a whole tray of your go to ramen, a few packets of your favorite candy, and that was just the snack aisle. He hadn’t even gotten to the frozen aisle yet.
The sound of crinkling plastic drew your attention away from the spaghetti and farfalle boxes in your hand. Chenle stood proudly, basically puffing his chest out as he gestured down to the cart now filled with your snacks, “I got these for you.”
“Wh- how did you even remember that all these are my favorites? Why are there so many?” You ask as you sift through everything.
“Simple, our home should be stocked with your favorites at all times, my love. I remember everything about you because I love you and I’m determined to be the best husband in the history of husbands,” Chenle states as if it’s the most obvious thing he’s ever said.
Concealing a teasing smile, you prop your hands on your hips, “well, why hasn’t my husband even gotten me flowers yet?”
Chenle opens his mouth to argue, but stops himself. You’re right. What kind of husband is he if you’ve been married for a month and he hasn’t even gotten you flowers yet?!
“Chenle?” He hears you call out, but he doesn’t stop. He’s sprinting to the front of the store where the bouquets are waiting in buckets of water. He picks the prettiest arrangement and buys two of them, not even going back to you. It’s fine, whatever, it will all be two transactions, he doesn’t care. It’s for you!
Panting and out of breath, he pushes the flowers into your hands while you stare at him in a look of confusion mixed with adoration. You gently place the flowers in the cart, pushing it toward your next stop, “you didn’t have to do that. You looked crazy running across the store like that.”
“Yes, I did,” he counters with a look of offense.
He finds that with you, even things he used to hate can be things he learns to love. He likes walking with you hand in hand as he pushes the cart, he likes the mundane conversation you two have while discussing what ice cream flavor to get. He loves putting groceries away with you, finding out where every item will be officially housed. He doesn’t feel the slightest bit annoyed when you both spend five whole minutes determining what shelf the chips will go on. He wants them on the second to last shelf, you want them on the last shelf. They go on the last shelf.
Most of all, he loves how domestic and happy he feels with you. After a productive day, he loves sitting on the couch you both share, the accomplished feeling, and the sight of you arranging the flowers he bought you in different vases. He wants these days forever.
Ever since you'd had your daughter, you'd become used to waking up throughout the night. It had stemmed from her days as a newborn where she woke up every few hours. Together you and your husband, Jeno, would tackle her needs whether it was a bottle, changing a dirty diaper, or simply giving her attention. Even as she grew older and slept through the night, you couldn't break the habit of waking up to simply check on her. Usually, Jeno would be right beside you, but tonight that was not the case.
You rolled over after a few good hours of sleep, sleepily blinking at the baby monitor, fully expecting to see the black and white image of your daughter asleep in her crib.
However, you didn't find that. You sat up in a panic, reaching out for your husband, but you didn't find him either. Jumping out of bed in a panic, you went rushing out of your room toward your daughter's bedroom, but you stopped halfway down the hall.
The kitchen light was on and what you heard was a familiar voice that completely melted away your stress and panic. It was Jeno's voice, his tired rasp that was soft in the exact way he always spoke to your daughter.
"Do you have any idea how scared I was ju- oh my god." You started as you entered the entryway to your kitchen. There was relief of course, to find your husband and your daughter, but shock. Shock won out. Sat on the counter was your daughter, in only her diaper and her tiny fists holding onto two chocolate chip cookies. Chocolate chip cookies that she was very clearly enjoying based on the fact that she was just about covered in chocolate.
"Oh, hey, honey," Jeno greets with a tired smile, seated on a bar stool beside your daughter with his own uneaten cookie in hand.
"What is going on?" You ask as you hesitantly move toward the chocolaty mess you know to be your daughter.
"She was awake for about 20 minutes babbling endlessly with no end in sight. I got out of bed to pick her up and made the mistake of promising cookies if she fell asleep and she started screaming her head off," Jeno explains before yawning loudly, "I didn't want her to wake you, I was tired so I gave in. Not my strongest dad moment."
You open your mouth to respond, but find that your words die on your tongue as your daughter turns to look at you. She merely smiles up at you, biting into the cookie fisted in her right hand before extending the cookie in her left fist to you. You barely have it in you to deny her sweet smile, even as shocked as you are. Even when you're not tired or shocked, you find it hard to say no to her sweet little face with round, chubby cheeks, and the eyes of the man you love most. With a sigh, you reluctantly take a bite of the cookie, earning a happy squeal from your daughter before you grab a towel to begin to clean her up.
She happily munches on her cookies while you focus on cleaning her from the bottom up. It's actually pretty amazing that she's somehow managed to get melted chocolate between her toes and between the rolls on her thighs.
It takes you about two kitchen towels to clean her up and three more bites that she forces against your lips, two bites from Jeno, but you finally get her clean. Still tired and confused, you turn to your husband with your brows pinched in confusion, "Honey, where are her pajamas?"
"Already in the wash," Jeno mumbles, his eyes drooping shut, "I didn't know cookies so small could make such a mess."
"I say next time we just let her tire herself out with all her talking," you suggest, smiling at the sight of your daughter while resting your head on your husband's shoulder.
Jeno nods in agreement, "lesson definitely learned."
Somehow your daughter seems to understand that this is her last successful midnight snack session and slams her chocolate covered hands down with a grunt. You laugh softly, taking her now empty hand into your own while tutting under your breath, "you heard that right, missy. Appa and I said no more midnight cookies for you."
She whines and you continue, shaking your head as you reply, "still not happening, little girl. Look at this mess you made. You're like a baby chocolate monster!" You end your playful scolding with a flurry of pecks across her face to distract her as Jeno cleans the remaining mess on her face and hands.
"And now you're going straight to bed," he tells her, scooping her into his arms with practiced ease.
You both put her to sleep, fully expecting it take a full hour or more, but it happens in mere minutes. Who knew two cookies would put her to sleep faster than a warm bottle?
find everything related to my two part series ‘in your eyes,’ in this one post.
requests are OPEN!! send me asks and request anything you want to see related to the fic.
in your eyes (m) 77k words, smut, fluff, angst
part 1 | part 2
lee jeno, campus fuckboy, and you, a talented bass player in a band, couldn’t be more different. jeno is known for his reputation while you prefer to keep to yourself, immersed in your music and studies. but when jeno’s initial interest in nayoung, your roommate, leads him to one of your band shows, he finds himself captivated by your talent, your beauty and your unapologetic authenticity. he finds himself falling for you.
→ CW: dom! jaehyun, breeding kink (jae's horny, i'm horny, everyone if fucking horny), age gap (reader is in mid-20’s and jae is a divorced 29yo Jae), unprotected sex, creampie, fingering, handjob, oral (f receiving), praising, pussy slapping, biting, spit kink, oral fixation (jae), there are some cringey lines (i'm sorry but i wanted to have them in there but i didn't know how else to phrase them T-T), jae's thick in this one guys :D
-> a/n: omg haii ^-^ okay so this one isn't necessarily halloween related but his kid in the fic is going trick or treating so it counts!!! Jae is DOWN BAD in this one y'all. also just an fyi, this one has a lot more dialogue since they have more of a relationship and it's not just mindless sex this time?? but there still is quite a lot of sex??? okok enjoyyyyyy
-> wc: 6k
-> upcoming: switch! yuta (playboy yuta :) will explain more on that later) psst! requests are open!!
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Jaehyun’s face dropped as he read the email he had just been sent. Cursing under his breath, the man pushed away from his desk and poked his head out the door.
“Hayoung,” he said. The woman at the desk looked up at him and from the look on her face, she knew what he was going to ask.
“Sir, I’m so sorry…” and she truly did sound sincere. “Gongmyung had no other times available to meet. He’s leaving for London tomorrow morning.”
Jaehyun pursed his lips as he nodded. He felt awful that he couldn't take Subin out tonight, but he had one idea that could make his daughter feel better.
The man checked the watch on his wrist, reading the time as 5:30pm. If he left now, Jaehyun could be at Subin’s school for 6:15pm to pick her up from daycare, talk to her, and bring her home for 6:45pm before he had leave the house by 7:30 to be back at the office for 8:00 pm to meet the clients for dinner.
“Alright, I have to leave now, but I’ll be back in time for the meeting.” Hayoung looked as if she was going to object, but instead she just nodded her head. Jaehyun grabbed his jacket from his office before pulling his phone out from his pocket. As he walked to the elevator, he scrolled through his contacts, searching for your name.
As Jaehyun stood, waiting for the elevator, his heart raced with both the urgency of the situation and the lingering nervousness he got when you spoke. His thumb hovered over the call button when he hesitated. He took a deep breath and leaned against the glass railing behind him, feeling a pang of worry gnaw at him. Would he be imposing on you once again?
The elevators hummed softly as they stopped at different floors of the building while Jaehyun debated with himself, the prospect of the impending meeting weighing heavily on his shoulders. He decided to call you, but not just for Subin’s sake, for his too.
“Hello?” Your voice on the other end had a certain warmth, and it sent a shiver down Jaehyun’s spine.
“Hey,” Jaehyun let out a sigh at the sound of your soft voice. His voice tinged with the tension that had been building in the pit of his stomach ever since he received that email.
“What’s wrong? You sound stressed.” You grew concerned when you realised how his voice was quieter than usual.
“It’s just work stuff…” Jaehyun’s shoulders slumped. “I really hate to ask you this,” And he really did. “I was wondering if you could watch Subin tonight? I know it’s Halloween, and it’s super last minute, but I was just scheduled for a meeting, and you’re the only one she’d want to go with.” the disparity in his voice ran deep, but you didn’t have any plans anyways, so why not?
“Of course, Jae.” You said, and the man sighed with relief. “What did she dress up as for school?” The calmness in your voice soothed Jaehyun’s nerves. The elevator sounded as it arrived. After the doors opened, Jaehyun entered and leaned against the wall as he felt a strange mix of emotions.
“She decided she was going to be Elsa and when we went trick or treating, she wanted me to be Anna.” There was a moment of silence, but Jaehyun already knew what was about to happen. As the man closed his eyes momentarily, you burst out laughing on the other line.
“You were really going to dress up as Anna for her?” you asked, your voice was laced with amusement that made Jaehyun chuckle.
“It was either that or Quasimodo from the Hunchback of Notre Dame.” A hand ran over Jaehyun’s face in embarrassment, remembering the conversation he had with his seven year old daughter last month when they were discussing costume ideas.
“What, did she want to be Esmerelda?” you asked with a scoff.
“No, she wanted to be Laverne.” Jaehyun groaned, wondering from whom his daughter gets her ideas from.
“The gargoyle?” you cried. You held the phone away from your ear as you laughed loudly, clutching your stomach.
“Yeah,” the man replied, looking at his shoes with a smile, the sound of your laughter resonating with him. “How much do you want me to pay you?” he asked as he walked out the elevator and to the entryway of the building. He waved to the secretaries and to those who greeted him with a smile.
You tried to reason with him, arguing that you didn’t need the extra compensation, but Jaehyun’s insistence on repaying your kindness only heightened the nagging tensions between the two of you.
“Jae, you really don’t have to, you know I’d do anything for you guys.” Your voice was gentle, “You know I feel bad asking you to watch her without paying you.” Jaehyun’s voice dropped lower, carrying an undertone of a deeper emotion with it.
As he exited the building, silently thanking the valet driver for his keys.
“But I’m telling you that you don’t have to.”
Your attempt to reason with him was met with Jaehyun’s unwavering determination. “We’ll talk about it later.”
With no room for further discussion, you conceded, “I’ll see you at seven, then.”
“I’ll see you then.” Jaehyun confirmed, the tension settled down thickly in the air.
“Bye, Jae.” You said softly.
“Bye, y/n.” Jaehyun replied, the sudden strain in his voice giving way to a sense of longing as he entered his car.
Sitting in the driver’s seat, Jaehyun gripped the steering wheel and looked down, feeling a slight strain in his pants. “Jesus fucking Christ…” the man muttered. “What am I, twelve?” his head fell back against the headrest in frustration.
Jaehyun rolled down the window before he began to drive, in hopes that the cold breeze would clear his mind of the thought of you, and focus on what was more important: trying to find a way to tell Subin that he can’t take her trick or treating.
-
By the time Jaehyun had parked in the school parking lot, he had nothing. He still didn’t know how to tell his daughter the news. Taking a deep breath, Jaehyun pushed open the car door and got out of the vehicle before locking it and heading to the waiting area.
Minutes later, the bell rang and children of all ages flooded out the doors. Jaehyun stood amidst the sea of children pouring out of the school, his eyes scanning the crowd for a familiar little girl in an Elsa costume. He spotted her soon enough, her blonde wig glistening in the autumn sun, and a smile spread across his face. Subin was chatting excitedly with her friends, and he knew he had to break the news gently.
He approached her, kneeling down to her eye level. “Hey, princess,” he greeted her with a warm smile.
Subin’s face lit up at the sight of her father. “Daddy!” she squeaked and launched herself into his arms. Jaehyun laughed as he almost stumbled onto the floor, but his arms wrapped around his daughter tightly.
“Come on, let’s get you to the car.” Jaehyun stood up carefully with his daughter still in his arms. As he walked, Jaehyun sucked in a deep breath before he told his daughter the bad news. “Subin, about tonight…”
The girl looked up at him with curious eyes. “What is it, Daddy?”
Jaehyun cleared his throat, trying to find the right words. “Well, I know how much you were looking forward to trick or treating tonight, and I was really excited too, but something came up at word.” He paused, gauging her reaction.
Subin’s smile faded, and her brows furrowed. “Do you have a meeting tonight, Daddy?”
Jaehyun’s heart felt like it was breaking off piece by piece. “I’m so sorry sweetheart, I tried to reschedule it for later, I really did, but it didn’t work out.” Jaehyun frowned, but his daughter smiled.
“It’s okay, Daddy. Do you think you’ll be back to watch HalloweenTown with me?”
“I’ll do my best, okay? I promise I’ll make it up to you sweetheart.” Jaehyun promises. “Until I come back home, I asked the lady from the floor below us to watch you, you remember her, right?”
“The pretty lady you invite over every weekend? I remember her.” Subin nodded, unaware of how red her fathers ears had turned.
“She doesn’t come over every weekend.” Jaehyun mumbled, looking away from his daughter as they arrived in front of the car.
“She does… Dohwa even asked me if she was my mom.”
“Oh…” he replied simply. Jaehyun stayed silent as he sat his daughter in the booster seat behind the passenger’s side, the thought almost consuming him.
Dohwa asked if she was her mom…
After he clicked her seatbelt in, Jaehyun shut the door and headed for the driver’s seat, still entirely thinking of you… as a mother…
The man paused right as he was about to open the door when he felt the same stiffness from earlier, and he had to stop himself from screaming curses at the sky. Jaehyun closed his eyes and swallowed harshly before he opened his eyes and entered the car like nothing had happened to him.
“Daddy, can we listen…”
“Of course,” Jaehyun gave his daughter a smile through the rearview mirror. He knew exactly what the kid was asking for, and with a few presses of some buttons, the intro of the infamous ‘Let it Go’ from the Frozen soundtrack was blasting from the speakers, and Subin was belting out the words.
The rest of the ride was filled with more Frozen, which consisted of duets, the respective solo’s of both Jaehyun and Subin, and the booing of Hans whenever he sang in Love is an Open Door.
Jaehyun had arrived at the condo building at 6:45pm, “Right on schedule,” he said to himself as he walked to the other side of the car to help his daughter out of the car. “Come on, sweetie,” he said, lifting her into his arms. With how adorable she was in her Elsa costume, he was determined to make it up to her for the missed trick or treating.
After a quick elevator ride, they reached his penthouse. The elegant, modern space was impeccably decorated, a reflection of Jaehyun’s refined taste.
“What d’ya want to eat before the pretty lady gets here, Miss Elsa?” Jaehyun asks Subin, who was already halfway to the kitchen. He followed behind her and held the door open for her as she entered. “Goldfish…” she said hungrily, causing a laugh to escape from Jaehyun’s lips.
“Goldfish it is, then.” The man took a bowl from one of the cabinet’s before he scanned his pantry for the snack that was requested. While Jaehyun looked, he heard Subin squeal with excitement. A mix of confusion and concern churned through Jaehyun, so he tried to be quick with his search and found them on the top shelf.
“Subin, I found them…” Jaehyun stopped in his tracks when his eyes found yours.
“Hey Jae,” you smiled, your insides twisting at his current state. He’d come from the office, you knew that already, but seeing him in that suit definitely messed with you a bit.
“Hey,” Jaehyun couldn’t help the way his heart raced at the mere sight of you. You were holding a neatly folded Anna costume in your arms, and the smile you gave him made his heart skip a beat. “You’re early.” he said. Although he looked quite distracted, Jaehyun still managed to pour Subin her goldfish and hand the bowl to her.
“Yeah, I just thought I’d come by a little early to see if Subin needed help with her costume.” Your innocence warmed Jaehyun and forced a smile onto his lips.
“That’s really thoughtful, thank you.’
“Don’t even mention it.” you said.
“Pretty lady, are you going to put your costume on now?” Subin interjected while she munched on the small crackers.
Jaehyun shuddered lightly, realising his daughter had just watched that whole interaction, even though she probably didn’t register what was going on.
At least that’s what you both hoped.
“Oh! Yes, yes, I will go do that. So, give me a few minutes, yeah?” you winked at her which earned you a big grin from the little girl.
“You can change in the guest bathroom.” Jaehyun blurts. “I’ll show you where it is.”
“Yeah, yeah, sounds good.”
Jaehyun walked out first, but it didn’t take long for you to catch up to him. You walked silently up the stairs and down the hall until you reached the room.
“Let me know if you need anything,” he said.
You thank him before you enter the bathroom, one you’ve definitely seen before. You set the costume down on the counter and begin to undress. Everything was going well until it came down to actually doing up the back of the dress.
“Jaehyun?” you raised your voice ever so slightly, just to check if he was still there, and in a heartbeat there was a soft knock on the door.
“You called?” His voice was a bit muffled from being on the other side of the door, but you opened the door, finding him leaning against the door frame.
“Could you help me with this?” you asked with a hand across your chest to keep your dress from falling.
Jaehyun looked away from your eyes, suddenly feeling very warm in the face and ears. “Yeah, could I come in?”
You moved so he had room to enter, and you shut the door almost immediately after and locked the door. Your back was facing Jaehyun, but you were watching him through the mirror. You felt bold until his dark eyes met yours in the reflection, and since then, his gaze didn’t leave yours.His heart raced as he looked into your eyes, and his fingers trembled slightly as he began to tie the strings at the back of your dress.
The tension in the air only grew stronger as his fingers brushed lightly against your skin, and your breath hitched. You couldn’t help but steal a glance over your shoulder, meeting Jaehyun’s gaze once again.
“Done…” he gulped, holding your stare. It was a moment where words were no longer necessary, and the attraction between you two was undeniable.
Jaehyun leaned in closer, his lips brushed against the nape of your neck. Your heart raced, and you tilted your head slightly, granting him access to your skin. His kisses were gentle, sending shivers down your spine, and his arms which had wrapped around your waist, had become your new form of support.
As he continued to trail soft, lingering kisses along your neck, Jaehyun whispered, “You’re making it hard for me to focus on anything other than you.”
You turn around to face him, your lips dangerously close to his. “Maybe that’s the point,” you replied with a mischievous glint in your eyes.
With a surge of longing, Jaehyun closed the small distance between your lips and his. The kiss was passionate and electric, and yet still so familiar from the previous ones you’ve shared from almost every weekend for the past three months.
One of Jaehyun’s hands cupped your cheek as the other snaked down to your waist, pulling you in closer. He felt the heat of your body merge with his, and his heart raced as he deepened the kiss. Your hands were tangled in his hair, and the taste of his lips sent a wave of euphoria through your body.
Jaehyun pulled away, but only slightly. His forehead was still pressed against yours, and he whispered, "I could kiss you like this forever."
Your lips curled into a small smile and you replied, "I wouldn't mind it."
With that, Jaehyun kissed you again, and this time it was more desperate, more passionate. He moved his lips hungrily against yours, exploring and tasting your mouth. You let out a soft moan as his hands moved to your lower back, and your kiss became more passionate.
His hands moved to the small of your back, and he lifted you up, your legs wrapping around his waist. You felt the warmth of his body against yours, and you melted into his embrace.
He carried you to the counter, and sat you down on the cold marble, and your arms tightly wrapped around him. You could feel his heart pounding against your chest, and the intensity of the kiss was enough to make your head spin. You felt like you were in some kind of trance, and you welcomed it with all your heart.
With his hips in between your legs, you reached out your hand to palm his growing erection through his pants. Jaehyun pulled away from the kiss, letting his head fall back in pleasure.
“God, baby, I got hard twice today because of you.” You hummed in response, slowly undoing Jaehyun’s belt and freeing his cock from his boxers. Bringing your hand to your mouth, you spit into it before lubing up his dick with it.
You started to move your hand up and down, slowly stroking his shaft and Jaehyun let out a low moan. His eyes were closed and he was breathing heavily, his hips starting to move in time with your hand.
Your hand closed over the tip, stroking it in circular motions before you moved your hand to jerk off the rest of his length. You increased the speed of your hand, Jaehyun's breathing getting heavier with each stroke. You could feel how hard he had gotten, and you smiled as you continued to pleasure him. Feeling your spit start to dry up, you started to use more of your hand, your fingers tracing circles around the head of his cock. Jaehyun's hands were gripping the material of your costume tightly, and you could feel his hips twitching with each of your strokes.
You moved your hand faster, your thumb now rubbing circles around Jaehyun's most sensitive spot, and he let out a loud moan as he was about to cum, but before he could, a timer went off.
“Fucking christ,” You both sighed out of disappointment, and Jaehyun rested his forehead against yours.
"I have to go," he said, regretfully. He quickly fixed himself up and helped you off the counter.
“What if you’re still hard during your meeting, though?” You joke while your fingers toyed with his belt loops.
He chuckled, and kissed you one last time before reluctantly pulling away.
“I’ll figure something out." You pouted, and he leaned in to give you one last peck on the lips before he grabbed his phone and unlocked the door. "I'll see you soon. I promise." He said before slipping out of the door.
You sighed and smiled to yourself, savouring the moment. You felt more alive than ever.
Sliding off the counter, you turned and inspected your face to make sure you didn’t go back to Subin looking like a hot mess.
“Pretty lady!” Subin yelled as you walked down the stairs. The young girl squealed as she ran to wait for you at the edge of the steps. She gushed at you once you had fully arrived in front of you. “You look so pretty!”
“Thank you sweetheart.” you said as you ruffled her hair. “Ready to go?” you asked her with a grin. Subin nodded frantically and grabbed your hand before she darted towards the elevator, her candy bag in the other hand waiting to be filled to the brim with treats.
“Trick or treating!” she cheered and jumped with excitement, and your heart warmed at the sight.
-
“Thank you so much for your time Gongmyung.” Jaehyun smiled as he shook the older man's hand.
“Of course! The pitch was great, so our lawyers will be in contact with yours very shortly.”
Jaehyun saw the man out of the smile and one final bow before he looked down at his watch. It was 9:30pm.
‘They should be home by now.’ Jaehyun thought as he got in his car and began to drive home.
It only took him about twenty minutes to get home from the restaurant, and by the time he reached the penthouse, he found you sitting on the couch with his daughter sleeping peacefully next to you, her head resting on your thigh.
“Hey,” you smiled up at him. Jaehyun mirrored your expression as he sat down next to you and wrapped an arm around your shoulders.
“When did she pass out?” Jaehyun’s fingers drew circles against your arm as you leaned into him.
“About an hour ago? She already brushed her teeth, we were just watching The Nightmare Before Christmas.” Jaehyun looked at you, his brows scrunched closer together.
“Is that not a Christmas movie?”
“Tsk… no one knows what it is or isn’t.” you said, jutting out your bottom lip before Jaehyun pecked your cheek. “I think I’m gonna put Subin to bed… show me to her room?” You slowly moved in a way that wouldn’t disturb the little girl too badly, and you brought her to your chest and rested her head on your shoulder. Both you and Jaehyun stood and you cautiously walked up the stairs and down the hall.
Jaehyun opened the door, revealing a baby pink room with toys and stuffed animals astray.
“This room is so…”
“Scary?”
“Her,” you shot Jaehyun a dirty look which made him laugh. “Not too loud, idiot.” you scolded him when you felt Subin stir at the loud noise. Cradling her head, you ordered Jaehyun to pull her bed covers back. Gently, you set the girl down before tucking her in. You stepped back to watch Jaehyun crouch beside her head and plant a light kiss on forehead. He sat there for a few seconds, rubbing her cheek with his thumb. With one last peck goodnight, he got up and smiled softly at you before he took your hand in his and led you out of the room.
With the lights off in Subin’s room and her door shut, the two of you stood in the hallway, staring into each other’s eyes.
“Thank you, again, for watching her.” Jaehyun stepped closer to you. You noticed how his tone dropped, how his hands squeezed yours gently, and how his eyes flickered from your eyes to your lips.
“Like I’ve said, you don’t have to thank me… but you can show me your appreciation in a different way.” you teased and hooked your fingers around his belt loop like you did earlier.
Jaehyun smirked devilishly, leaning in to kiss your neck. His hands moved around your waist, dipping lower until he cupped your ass.
As he trailed kisses along your neck, he paused to nibble and suck on your sensitive skin. His hands moved up your back, tugging your hips even closer to his. You felt your own arousal growing as his lips moved from your neck to your lips, his tongue pushing its way into your mouth. You moaned against his lips as your hands found their way into his hair, fingers curling around the strands of his hair.
“We shouldn’t do this out here…” you said breathlessly, and Jaehyun groaned in agreement.
He pulled away and took your hand, leading you to the guest room. Your pulse was racing as he pushed open the door, and you both stepped inside. He pulled you close and kissed you deeply, while your hands moved to the back of his neck, tugging him in closer as your lips moved together in an urgent, passionate kiss. His hands travelled their way down your body, exploring your curves as you explored his. He trailed kisses down your neck, making you gasp as his teeth lightly grazed your skin. You groaned in pleasure as you felt his erection growing against your belly.
He grabbed your hair and pulled it back, his face hovering close to yours. "Tell me what you want," he growled.
You bit your lip and smiled, your desire rising with each passing second. You wrapped your arms around his neck and leaned in to whisper in his ear, "I need you to fuck me."
He groaned and pulled you closer, his hands roaming your body. His lips brushed against your ear as he responded in a chuckle, “Waited all day for you to say that to me.”
In an instant, Jaehyun brought you towards the bed, a fire raging in his eyes. You were both eager to get undressed, and you started with his shirt. You reached to undo the buttons of his suit and slowly started undoing them, never breaking away from his embrace. Jaehyun’s breaths were heavy and rushed as you finally released his shirt and pulled it off his body.
His hands moved to your shirt and he proceeded to do the same with you, slowly pulling your shirt off and tossing it aside. He grabbed your waist and pulled you closer, his lips finding yours again. His hands were frantic as they roamed your body, the intensity of his kiss growing with each passing moment.
He leaned back and pulled you with him, the two of you standing there in nothing but your underwear. His eyes were ablaze with desire and he stepped forward, pushing you back onto the bed. He leaned over you and slowly trailed his lips down your body, his hands massaging your curves as he made his way down.
He pulled back and looked into your eyes, his own filled with a primal hunger. With one hand, he grabbed your wrists and pinned them above your head, his lips finding yours again as the other hand found itself making its way down your navel, all the way to your pussy. His thumb took to your clit, drawing small circles on it.
The friction felt electric, you couldn’t help but shiver at his cold hands touching such sensitive parts. A soft moan escaped your lips as your hips involuntarily arched towards his touch. His thumb moved faster, increasing the intensity of the pleasure. You felt pleasure radiating through your body, slowly building to an unstoppable force. Your breathing became shallow, your heart raced, and all you could do was surrender to the sensations. His thumb began to move with more intensity, each circle growing wider and wider. His touch was gentle yet demanding, sending sparks of pleasure shooting through your veins. The hand that had your wrists in a tight grip suddenly let go, but it moved to your hip and he grabbed firmly, steadying you as his thumb continued to bring you closer to the edge.
You could feel his breath against your neck, his fingers digging into your hips as he moved them. Suddenly, he slapped you hard on your pussy and you gasped in surprise. The repeated action brought you close to tears. As your jaw hung open from a mix of surprise and pleasure, Jaehyun saw this as the perfect opportunity to do the thing you love. Hovering just slightly over your mouth, he let his saliva drop into your mouth, and he watched with a smirk as your jaw shut immediately, swallowing what he gave you.
His tongue soon found its way into your mouth, and you tasted the bitterness of his spit as it mingled with yours. His hands moved with purpose, sending waves of pleasure cascading through your body.
You could feel the anticipation building in your body, and you could barely contain the moans that escaped your lips. You were so close to the pinnacle of pleasure, and his touch was the only thing that could get you there.
“Fuck, Jae… oh fuck.” you said as a signal to him that you were cumming. If that didn’t tell him, then the way your body shook definitely did.
Not long after you came, Jaehyun sat himself in between your legs. Both of his hands moved to your thighs, pushing them apart as he knelt in front of you. He looked up at you with pure adoration and started to kiss and lick your inner thighs.
Jaehyun kept one arm around your hips while the other explored your pussy, fingering you slowly. You gasped and hissed in pleasure as he teased your sensitive areas. He moved his mouth to your pussy and started to lick and suck in a tantalising rhythm. His tongue moved in slow circles, alternating between soft and hard strokes.
The arm he kept around your wait found itself lazily dragging from your waist, up to your breasts. His nimble fingers squeezed and teased your nipples, not helping the fact that you were trying to keep your voice down– even though you were several rooms down from his daughter.
The back of your hand moved to cover your mouth as you moaned, while the other grabbed his head, pushing him deeper into you. He bit down on your labia and licked the sensitive skin around your clit, sending shockwaves of pleasure through your body. Jaehyun moved his fingers inside you, pushing them in and out in a steady rhythm, his thumb finding the spot that sent sensations of pleasure through your body.
He then began to massage your clit with his tongue, circling it slowly and then faster and faster until you felt your toes curl in anticipation. His hands moved down to your hips, holding you tightly as he increased the pressure and speed of his tongue.
You felt your muscles tensing and your breathing becoming more rapid as you got closer to the edge. His fingers moved faster and faster, stimulating you in all the right places. You moaned and gasped as your orgasm finally overcame you, your body shaking in pleasure.
“Came so quick.” Jaehyun stated, slowly moving his mouth back up to yours and kissed you passionately, his tongue exploring your mouth as his hands moved to your waist.
He grabbed your hips and spread your legs wider, pushing his hard cock inside of you. He moved slowly at first, letting out a guttural moan as he entered you.
He moved his hips in a circular motion, pushing himself deeper into you as he felt your tight walls stretching around his thickness. He felt as if he was being consumed by a blanket of pleasure, and he loved the feeling of being completely surrounded by you. With each movement, you could feel him stretching you out further, and the sensation made his body tremble with delight.
“Fuck, baby, you’re doing so fucking well.” His breathing quickened as he felt the sensation of being fully engulfed inside of you, and the sensation of pleasure coursing through his body. He felt as if he were melting into you, becoming one with you as he moved faster and faster.
He added a new layer of pleasure to his movements, as he sucked and licked on your nipples while he continued to thrust. His tongue felt like velvet on your skin, teasing and tantalising you with every movement. His hands moved to your back, caressing it with every thrust.
You grasped his shoulders tightly as the sensations built up inside, and you felt yourself getting closer and closer to the edge. Finally, you threw your head back and let out a loud moan as you reached your climax, your pleasure washing over you. Jaehyun’s breathing became heavier, and you could feel his muscles tense up, his whole body shaking with pleasure.
“Fuck baby…” Jaehyun groaned, looking down at your pussy. “You’re so fucking full.” he bit his lip to stop himself from showing his smile, but it was useless– Jaehyun was grinning from ear to ear with pride. He watched as his cum dripped out of you, but with two fingers, he took whatever had leaked and shoved it back into you.
“Hey,” you said, grabbing his attention with his fingers still inside of you. “You gonna fuck me full of your cum, or what?”
Jaehyun almost lost it. Asking that of him was not the smartest idea, considering the fact that he’d do anything you told him to.
“Is this you asking to have my second kid? We’re not even together.” He joked as he sat himself with his back against his headboard.
You knew what that meant.
Getting on your knees, you crawled on top of him and positioned yourself above his still very hard cock.
“I could do both…” you say without another thought.
“Oh baby,” he said, voice more seductive than you’ve heard before. “I’ll fuck you so hard, you’ll get pregnant right away.” And with that, he thrust upwards, shoving his thick cock into you.
You exclaimed in surprise, eyes going wide, but your hands flew to his shoulder, stabilising yourself as he moved inside of you. He moved long and slow, his hips rolling against yours, and you felt your pleasure building with each thrust. He reached down and grabbed your ass, squeezing the soft flesh as began to pick up his pace. His breathing became ragged as he went deeper and deeper into you.
His hands moved higher, gently caressing your breasts, his lips lightly sucking and licking them. His fingers moved lower, rubbing and teasing your clit, and his tongue licked and sucked your nipples.
“Fuck, just look at you, your fucking tits bouncing…” he mumbled, his mouth watering at the sight. “Gonna get you pregnant with my baby, and your tits are gonna be so fucking big.” Jaehyun moaned at the thought. You felt his tongue flick against your nipples, and you gasped in pleasure as he teased them with his mouth.
As he sucked on your nipples, Jaehyun started to pick up the pace, pushing himself in and out of you. His hips moved in a perfect rhythm, each thrust sending a wave of pleasure through your body. You felt your eyes roll to the back of your head, and your breath coming in ragged gasps.
You could feel the heat building inside you as he continued to move. His hand moved down, rubbing against your clit as he moved, sending pleasure coursing through your veins. His thrusts were getting harder, and faster, and you could feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge.
Just then, he pulled out of you and flipped you over onto your back. He stared into your eyes, holding your gaze as he penetrated you again. “Fuck Jaehyun, I need your cum.” You whined. His thrusts were more forceful now, and you could feel yourself moaning louder and louder as he continued to move inside of you.
He then started to move one of his hands up and down your body, playing with your nipples and lightly caressing your breasts. His tongue lapped at them, and you felt your body tense up as he sucked on them. He moved the other hand down to your clit again, rubbing it in circles as he moved inside of you.
“Need to get you so fucking full.” Jaehyun spoke aimlessly as he fucked your cunt, his thrusts growing harsher by the second. You hummed at his words, equally as brainless as he was from the stimulation.
You felt yourself getting closer and closer to the edge, and Jaehyun increased his thrusts, pushing himself deeper inside of you. He grabbed your hips and held you tight, pushing himself deep inside of you. You screamed out in pleasure, your orgasm ripping through your body, and he followed shortly behind, his body shaking in pleasure.
His moans grew louder and his thrusts became more intense, the pleasure becoming too much for him to handle. He felt his orgasm build up inside of him, and as he reached the peak, he let out a cry of pure ecstasy. Jaehyun slowly pulled out of you before he laid beside you.
Turning to face him, you both lay there for a few moments, your breathing ragged and your hearts pounded in your chests.
“I meant what I said…” Jaehyun said, his thoughts now cleared from his prior state of mind. “About being together. The baby too, but that can come later.”
“I like that idea,” you hummed and pressed your lips to his.
┊ Jaehyun! came back from his group practice, his movements slow and silent to make sure you wouldn’t wake up, partly because he didn’t want to get scolded again for ‘overworking himself’. He knew you couldn’t stand when he came home at such late hours, he knew how you prioritised his health and his sleep schedule, which was a mess.
It wasn’t that your concern bothered him; quite the opposite. He loved how you cared deeply for him, even though he was worried about you in the first place — you often stayed up late to wait for him, and as much as it warmed his heart, he knew you couldn’t live off such little hours of sleep.
After shutting the door as quietly as he could, he paused his movements to listen for any signs you were still awake. He sighed in relief after being met with complete silence, and made his way to the bedroom. He took a moment to admire your relaxed features, closed eyes, and the way a strand of your hair lightly brushed against your cheek, making you stir in your sleep, still looking as peaceful as ever.
With a small smile on his face, he muttered to himself,
‘I’m the luckiest man in the world.’
After settling into his side of the bed, he noticed your back was turned to him. Gently, he reached out, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you close, pressing your body against his, his face now resting in the crook of your neck. A small smile subconsciously made its way to your lips, melting into his presence.
The two of you truly were the luckiest people alive.
SUMMARY: As you move into the building, your mysterious neighbor’s music becomes a quiet—and secret—comfort to your heart, enough for you to send them an anonymous letter. When you unexpectedly meet Mark, your connection soon growing between late-night conversations and shared meals, you find yourself falling in ways you hadn’t expected. Curiously enough, as your worlds start to overlap, you realize that there’s more to Mark and your mysterious neighbor than you’ve ever imagined.
GENRE: Romance, fluff, non-idol au, songwriter!Mark
WORD COUNT: 9.1k
WARNINGS: Cursing, suggestive themes
Moonlight welcomes you home as you finish yet another long day of seemingly endless lectures, the gleam slipping through the curtains of your living room as you slip off your shoes, dropping the heavy book bag by the door.
The apartment is quiet, as you’re coming home a little later than usual, and with a chaotic day behind you, all you need is a hot shower, a warm meal and the softness of your bed.
As you’re stripping your top off, halfway through the bathroom, you hear it—the soft, slow notes from a piano drifting through the walls of your neighbor’s apartment and into yours. The mysterious, upstairs neighbor, as you like to call them now.
It’s not the first time that the music makes its way into your place. Even though you’re yet to meet whoever resides right above you, with an impressive array of instruments at that, you’re always delighted to hear them play, especially during days like today where you’re exhausted both mentally and physically.
Today, you can recognize the melody, but can’t quite put your finger on which song it is.
Making a beeline for your bedroom instead, you sink into your bed, half-dressed as you let the sound take over your mind. A small smile tugs at the corner of your lips, your brain subconsciously filling the gaps as you start to hum the melody along.
Your mysterious neighbor and their music had slowly become a source of unexpected comfort to you.
Some days, you hear the delicate strumming of a guitar. Other days, the lightness of wandering piano notes. On special days though, you listen to the bold, intense riffs of an electric guitar instead. Every day, you welcome it, each time feeling a lullaby meant only for one night.
With the music still playing in the background, you follow through your routine in an almost dreamlike state. The mysterious neighbor plays long enough to last through your shower, unknowingly kind enough to give you the joy of having dinner with your own private live performance too.
As it stops, the silence almost feels awkward.
You can’t help but innocently imagine your neighbor, just a few steps away as they tuck in the instrument for the night, completely unaware of their unknown faithful audience.
The day is already drawing out to be a chaotic one.
As you dash out of your apartment in a rush, just barely hanging onto your bag and the coffee thermos in your hands, you mentally kick yourself for ignoring the alarm an extra time, fooling yourself that it was safe enough just for today.
You’re already unusually late, and to make matters worse, you’d dropped half of your notes as you were fumbling to lock your apartment and the elevator’s seemingly taking a lifetime to arrive at your floor.
A sigh escapes from your lips at the familiar chime of its opening doors.
You can’t help the clumsy commotion as you finally step into the cubicle, head down as you try to organize the mess of crumpled papers inside your bag, completely oblivious to the current company watching you with curious eyes.
It’s only when you literally bump into them that you finally look up, eyes wide in surprise. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” you start, stepping back with an apologetic glance. “I swear I didn’t see you here.”
The guy offers you a quick, friendly smile, shoving his hands into his jacket’s pockets as he backs away, giving you more space.
With a hint of a chuckle laced to his voice, he shakes his head. “No worries.”
Attentively, you glance at him with a discrete side-eye—quickly recognizing him as a fellow neighbor from a few late night lobby encounters, usually when you’re coming back from school after TA days. He looks a little different today, hair shorter and a few shades darker, though the laidback, somewhat shy vibe around him stays the same.
Since you’re still rather new to the building and haven’t met a lot of people your age yet, you can’t beat your curiosity whenever he’s around. It doesn’t help that he’s also undeniably cute, with a quiet sort of charm that only adds to his character.
As the elevator’s doors finally close, you clumsily attempt to adjust your bag again, just for your thermos to clatter against the floor as you fumble around the attached keyrings.
It rolls around for a second before your neighbor swiftly reaches down to grab it, soon handing it over to you with a small smile. “I’m guessing this is an essential for busy mornings, right?”
You laugh, feeling a little flustered as your cheeks warm up. “You’ve got no idea. Sorry again, I swear I’m more composed than this.”
“I know,” he says, offering a nod as his smile grows bashfully. “I’ve never seen you around this hour, so I’m assuming you’re probably late.”
You pause, caught off guard by his words.
Given that you’ve only exchanged brief glances and polite smiles here and there whenever you met, it’s a surprise to know he’s observant enough to have noticed your routine at all. It makes you wonder if he’s noticed other things too, as you have with him.
“Very late,” you finally respond, offering a rather chagrined smile. “Not a very smart decision to ignore your alarms for a few more minutes of sleep, I guess.”
Visibly very entertained with your chaos, your neighbor shrugs as a chuckle escapes from his lips. “We’ve all been there, don’t stress too much about it.”
The elevator stops before you can reply, both of you stepping out into the lobby once the doors open. There’s a brief pause between you before he clears his throat, looking somehow both hesitant and effortlessly poised as he opens the building’s door for you to walk through first.
“Hey, good luck today,” he says, shooting you a sheepish wink as he nods. “It’s gonna be a better day from now on, trust me.”
Taken aback by the rather endearing attitude, you laugh, nodding back at him in delight. “I trust you.”
As you start the walk toward the station, you find yourself briefly glancing back over your shoulder, just in time to catch him watching you for a second before he turns around and heads off.
With the aroma of your burning candles spreading through the living room, your Friday evening falls to a quiet, hardly earned, peaceful break from work and school.
After a week of quizzes, readings, papers and presentations, it’s the first time in a while that you don’t have to think about the next assignment on your to-do list or papers waiting to be graded.
Under the dim lights of your apartment, you’re comfortably curled up on the couch with a cozy blanket, savoring the brief weekend pause.
Almost as if they knew exactly what you needed to add to your little atmosphere, sensing just the perfect time, you hear the faint harmony of the mysterious neighbor’s piano keys through the walls. Tonight, the notes are slower, gentle, almost as warm as the candles’ flames.
Completely taken by the music once again, you only break out of your reverie as you spot your journal on the dining table. Suddenly inspired, you decide that it’s only fair that your neighbor knows how much you appreciated their music—even if you have no idea who they actually are, apart from the fact that they’re right over you.
Without a second thought, with a pen and paper in hands, you let your heart write.
Dear neighbor,
Even though I’m not sure who you are or if we’ve met, I wanted to thank you through this letter. I’ve heard you play for a while now, and I can’t tell you how much comfort and happiness your music brings me. It truly brightens my day, takes a weight off my shoulders at night, pulls me away from my hectic days and gives me a moment to just breathe and appreciate the beautiful things in life.
I don’t know if you’re playing for anyone, or if it’s just for yourself, but I hope you know that I’m always amazed by it and how much it matters. You make the building feel a little warmer, my apartment feel a little more like home. Please, keep playing to your heart’s desires.
Gratefully,
Your neighbor
It’s already past midnight as Mark settles at the quiet studio, only a handful of people left in the building after a long day of brainstorming meetings for the next label releases.
Staring at the blank pages of his beat-up notebook, Mark starts to feel the fatigue catch up to his body, brain most definitely clocked out for the day as he can’t seem to think of anything but the annoying ache on his neck.
As he taps his pen against the crumpled paper, a small, folded letter rests neatly tucked between its worn pages—one that he might or might not have read at least a dozen times since finding it under his door a few weeks ago. Needlessly to say, Mark was nothing but surprised by the letter, moved by the thoughtful, kind words written by his neighbor.
Every time he reads it, a rather satisfying warmth takes over his chest, as if the person who’d written it knew something deeply personal about him without even knowing who he was, or even his name.
Too absorbed in his thoughts, Mark startles as Haechan and Johnny burst into the studio, both laughing until the youngest notes his friend’s guarded face.
“You look suspicious,” Haechan starts, eyes playfully scanning the studio in distrust. “I hope you aren’t doing anything nasty around here. We use this studio too, you know.”
Mark rolls his eyes, closing the notebook with a sigh. “You really need to learn how to shut up sometimes, Haechan.”
Quietly taking in the scene, Johnny leans over Mark, curiously eyeing the piece of paper sticking out of his notebook, distinctly decorated with a red star sticker at the top. “What’s that?”
The two youngest follow Johnny’s finger, pointing at the notebook on Mark’s lap.
As Mark’s stomach drops, he quickly attempts to tuck the letter back inside, distracting his friends from catching a glimpse of it. “It’s nothing, just something I was scribbling on.”
“No way,” Haechan starts, turning to Johnny with the widest grin on his face. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Is that a love letter?”
“No,” Mark awkwardly cuts off, feeling his cheeks heat up under his best-friends’ scrutiny. “Who even sends love letters nowadays?”
Johnny scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest. “You would.”
“He fucking would,” Haechan repeats, eyes wide as if he’s having an epiphany. “Holy shit, you’re so corny, Mark.”
“I mean, Mark wasn’t the one making up excuses to stalk his mom’s employee every day, you know,” Johnny taunts, laughing when Haechan mocks an offended glance at his older friend.
Not able to resist their curiosity, knowing that he was eventually going to bend anyway, Mark sighs. “It’s a letter from my neighbor. Sometimes I play some music at home, whenever I’m stuck with something from here,” he explains quietly. “I guess they’ve been listening to it? I don’t know who they are but they left a letter to me a few days ago.”
Johnny and Haechan exchange a look, the latter letting out an incredulous laugh. “Your life is ridiculous. You got a love letter from your neighbor?”
“It’s not a love letter,” Mark argues, rolling his eyes. “It’s more of an… appreciation letter.”
Johnny nods, a knowing look taking over his face. “Can we read it? It’s fine if you don’t want us to, though.”
“It’s not fine.” Haechan frowns, a dramatic note to his voice. “What do you mean Mark got a love letter from his neighbor and we can’t read it?”
Mark does hesitate for a moment but ultimately hands the letter over to Johnny, watching his friend open the paper with careful fingers.
It’s funny to hear someone else read it. There’s a mix of embarrassment and a strange sense of satisfaction in his chest as Mark listens to Johnny’s voice say the words he’s read so many times by now, enough to have memorized it.
The letter sounds different—now that’s disconnected from him and no longer kept a secret, it definitely feels more real, more genuine.
“You make the building feel a little warmer, my apartment feel a little more like home,” Johnny finally reads, noticeably taken aback by it. “Please, keep playing to your heart’s desires.”
Haechan breaks the silence as Johnny finishes, looking as impressed as his older friend. “Damn. That was…”
“Actually really nice,” Johnny completes, a little more serious than Mark expects. “Do you have any idea who they are?”
Mark shakes his head, taking the letter back from Johnny’s hand and tucking it back inside his notebook. “No idea. I’m not sure if I want to know either.”
Haechan raises an eyebrow, grinning knowingly. “Are you really fine with never finding out who they are?”
For now, there’s something about the mystery that keeps it just for him. For now, Mark thinks that knowing might change the feeling, make it somehow less special. Besides, if the future wants him to know, then he’ll probably know.
As his fingers tap the notebook, almost as if sealing the secret inside of it, Mark nods.
“Maybe it’s better that way.”
A few hours into the evening, the small venue is already buzzing with energy, voices blending with the smooth, laidback background music of the cozy bar.
Mark’s not a stranger to the place, having attended a few open mics before with Johnny as a sidequest from his actual job. Today is a special day though—given Jaehyun’s giving a surprise secret performance of his new EP, it’s only fair of Mark to show his friend some support, especially after having worked on some of his songs together.
Besides, as a genuine music lover he does enjoy the atmosphere, the rawness of live music never failing to lift his mood even when he’s tired and overworked.
At the back of the bar, Mark waits for Johnny with a pint of beer in hand, his eyes trailing through the place as he watches a few artists cycling through with their instruments here and there.
Out of all things that could possibly happen tonight, Mark most definitely isn’t expecting to spot you there of all places.
Just a few feet away, you step by the bar with your friends, chatting and laughing as you approach the counter to place an order. He holds his breath for a moment, waiting for you to notice him as you briefly glance around. Convincing himself to play it cool, Mark swiftly turns his attention back to the bartender.
Just as his hand closes around his drink, he feels a presence stepping up beside him, a hand tentatively touching his arm.
“Hey neighbor,” you greet him, eyes bright in recognition as a smile tugs on your lips. “Seems like we’re running into each other everywhere lately, huh?”
Mark smiles back, feeling both glad and a bit nervous that you ultimately decided to approach him. “Seems like it, yeah. Though I’m a little surprised to see you here, to be honest.”
“Why?” You laugh, surprised. “I know it didn’t seem like it that day, but I am a normal person, you know.”
“Shit, no, I don’t mean it that way,” Mark objects right away, wide-eyed as he fumbles with the glass of beer in his hands. “It’s just that I’ve been here a lot so I kinda know the crowd, I guess?”
You hum, moving to lean over the counter right beside him with a frown between your eyebrows. “I don’t think we’ve ever introduced ourselves properly, have we?”
As you give him your name, reaching out a hand to him with an amused smile on your lips, he can’t help awkwardly taking the handshake. When the hold lingers for a second longer than expected, Mark realizes he’s holding your gaze for just as much.
Playing it off with a cough, he pulls back to clumsily gesture toward the stage. “So, do you know anyone… you know, performing tonight?”
“Not really. My friends found this place, I just thought it’d be cool to check it out,” you explain, curious eyes glancing around. “What about you? If you’ve been here before, I bet you know someone.”
“Yeah, my friend Jaehyun is actually doing a few songs tonight.” Mark rubs the back of his neck with a timid smile. “Just thought it would be cool to support him.”
“That’s nice of you,” you say, face softening with a small smile. “I’ll check out him too, then.”
He almost wishes you don’t.
Though Jaehyun’s got this long distance on-and-off thing with a girl he met during one of his concerts, the man is not only mad talented but also has insane looks, a combo that Mark’s seen girls fall for countless times by now.
Either way, he just smiles back with an appreciative nod. “He’s crazy good, you’ll definitely love his music.”
A call from your friends cuts the conversation short and as you glance over your shoulder, they’re waving you over with a handful of drinks.
You seem to hesitate a little, looking back at him with an apologetic smile. “Sorry, I probably should get back to my friends.”
Hoping he doesn’t look too disappointed, Mark shakes his head. “It’s all good, it was nice seeing you around anyway,” he starts, pausing for a second before casually reaching out for his phone. “I was thinking if I could get your number? It’s fine if you don’t—”
You gently take the phone off his hands, visibly holding back a smile as you start typing. As he catches a glimpse of the screen, Mark chuckles at the door emoji added next to your name.
Before you disappear into the crowd with your friends, you give him one last glance over your shoulder, eyes locking onto his own as your smile widens.
“I’ll see you, Mark.”
The following days, Mark spends way too much time debating himself whether to text you. As a well-kept secret in his mind, he’s also been obsessively replaying your interaction ever since that night, a little taken aback by his own sudden interest in you.
It’s not like he hasn’t ever let his eyes wander whenever you coincidentally met around the building, but up until that night you were only that—just one of his neighbors, a pretty girl he happened to run into every once in a while.
Now, curiosity is getting the best of him and Mark can’t help reading too much into the situation.
Home earlier than usual, he sits at the couch with his guitar on his lap, though now long forgotten in his reverie. As he stares at your name in the contact list, Mark reminds himself that you gave him your number after all.
So he hopes that means something, especially when finally hitting send on the message he’d backspaced one too many times.
5:11PM
Hey neighbor
Just found this new place with crazy good food and music in the neighborhood
Any chance you’re free tonight?
5:15PM
Hi Mark!
I’m so sorry
I’d love to but I’m stuck at uni until late today
Rain check?
Though the anticipation in his chest crumbles to disappointment, Mark plays it off. You hadn’t exactly said no, so he settles to make the interaction as casual as possible, just about to type a quick reassurance when another text pops up.
5:17PM
Actually
If you’re free, I could use some company here
I’ll buy you dinner if you save me from work for a few minutes
No more than an hour later, Mark’s walking through the campus with two brown paper bags in hand, hoping that a classic combo is a safe enough bet for you to like it. Nearing the library, he spots you waving at him by the building’s steps with a growing smile on your face.
“Hey Mark,” you greet, walking over with curious eyes at the bags in his hands. “I thought dinner was on me?”
“It seemed like you needed a break,” Mark points, giving an awkward chuckle. “It’s not fancy or anything so don’t worry about it.”
The sun’s just about to set as you walk him to a nearby bench, in a spot secluded enough that there’s only a couple of students around, mostly rushing past without a single glance.
Accepting the bag from his hands as you sit down, your eyes light up at the sight of the huge burger and fries. “Mark, I could kiss you right now,” you start, taking a single fry as you grin at him. “This is exactly what I needed.”
He chuckles, trying to mask the impact of your words despite the warmth spreading through his neck. “I wasn’t sure what you liked so I hoped the basics were a safe choice.”
“This looks way better than I was planning,” you confess in between your bites. “You seriously saved me from going insane.”
“Hey, I don’t think I’ve asked what you study.” Mark frowns, trying to remember if he’s ever noticed something that could’ve hinted at it.
“I’m doing a masters in political science,” you answer, chuckling timidly as his face shifts to an impressed look. “I’m also doubling as a teaching assistant for undergrad, hence why I’m still here grading assignments and going crazy.”
“That’s amazing,” he replies, a smile tugging on the corner of his mouth. “How do you like it? It sounds like hard work.”
Rolling your eyes, you lean back on the bench with a groan, momentarily forgetting about the food. “It definitely seemed easier when I was applying but I do love it. I’m also really good at it, even if my thesis runs me to the ground sometimes.”
“I bet you are.” Mark nods, voice laced with a playful touch. “I hope you don’t take this the wrong way but you seem like the type who’s got it all under control.”
You laugh, shaking your head. “I’m glad you already forgot about the last time we met back home,” you say, glancing over at him with curious eyes. “What about you? What do you do, Mark?”
Suddenly feeling a flicker of self-consciousness in the back of his brain, Mark hesitates for a second. Even though his job sounds fancy to most ears, people usually recognizing him as a writer of sorts, it almost sounds comical when compared to what you do. Strangely enough, despite his genuine love for music, it’s not the first time Mark feels small over it.
As he rubs the back of his neck, the answer sounds as ordinary as possible. “It’s kinda all over the place, actually. Mostly creative stuff, I guess.”
You raise an eyebrow, visibly intrigued by the vague response. “It sounds like you’re a secret agent but can’t actually tell me the truth. Am I right?”
Mark smiles sheepishly, relieved at your easy acceptance. “To be honest, I feel like I’d be terrible at that,” he says with a grimace. “I think I’m decent at my actual job, though.”
You hum softly, seemingly still interested despite his awkwardness. “Well, you can tell me all about it later.”
As you effortlessly move the conversation by mentioning the open mic, not leaving your love for Jaehyun’s songs out, the evening soon settles upon you. There’s a whole lot Mark knows about you now—from your favorite songs to your favorite students, the places you dream traveling to, even childhood stories.
When you finally walk back to the library, it’s late enough that the campus is completely quiet. As Mark stands a few steps down from you at the same stairs again, a strange sense of comfort warms his chest.
“Are you sure you don’t need me to wait for you?” he asks for a second time, watching you with a hint of concern.
You sigh, shaking your head with an amused glance towards him. “I told you it’s fine. My friend’s already waiting for me at her place, anyway.”
Mark nods, reluctantly agreeing. “Text me so I know you’re safe?”
You smile softly, nodding back. “I promise.”
Moving closer, you lean over him from the few steps up and press a gentle kiss to his cheek, lingering for a second too short. Mark swears that his skin is on fire, the spot tingling even after you pull back. There’s a quiet pause before you turn around, giving him a final wave before disappearing into the building.
Pleasantly surprised with how comforting and fun the last-minute meeting with Mark was, the details of the night silently stuck with you for the next few days.
Though it seemed like a simple gesture then, you’d completely turned your brain off from the stress of your routine for a few hours, instead staying immersed in your own growing intrigue about him. There was something undeniably sweet and endearing about your neighbor, leaving you craving for more time to know him better.
Admitting to yourself that maybe you do want to see Mark again, you also want to repay his gentle favor.
When you text him an impromptu dinner invite at your place, secretly anticipating his answer with nervous eyes glued to the screen, you’re most definitely not expecting a knock at your door just a few minutes later.
Despite the casual stance, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his hoodie, Mark looks slightly out of breath as he stands outside your place. “Uh—hey, neighbor.”
“Do you live next door?” you joke, stepping aside to let him into your apartment. “You surprised me. I was waiting for you to reply to my text first.”
“You caught me.” Mark shrugs, slipping his shoes off with a bashful smile. “Did I come too early? I can come back later if you want.”
Leading him inside, you gesture towards your small table, already set with the ridiculous amount of pizza you accidentally ended up baking to stress relief. “You’re actually just in time. Think you can handle the consequences of my poor measuring skills?”
He bursts into a laugh, taking in the scene with wide eyes. “Wow, this is… it feels like an italian restaurant in here.”
“I feel like you’re making fun of me but I’ll let it slide because you’re a first timer around here,” you tease, pushing him towards a seat at the table. “Sit down, I’ll help you.”
Both settled in, as the food’s plated by you under Mark’s protests, the conversation naturally flows.
“So, I was thinking,” you start carefully, watching out for his reaction. “You said you’re into creative stuff, right? Does that include writing?”
Mark looks slightly surprised for a second, then opens a smile. “Kind of. I have this habit of writing down random thoughts, stuff that I see outside whenever I go out, you know?”
“Like journaling?” you ask, pausing between a few bites with your interest piqued.
“You could call it that.” He nods, thoughtfully running a hand through his hair. “Most of the time it turns to a few loose bits of stories. Like, scenes that play in my head.”
“I think I’ve figured out your job,” you say, giving him a playful side-eye at the visible tension on his face. “I’m pretty sure that you’re some best-seller ghost writer. Maybe a pen name writer or something.”
“I guess I can’t tell you then,” he teases, a contrast to his shy smile. “What about you? Aren’t you writing a thesis? That’s some serious writing if you ask me.”
Despite the excitement, you can’t help an exhausted groan at the thought of your own writing. “It seems easier than looks that’s for sure,” you reply with a nod. “Like I said, I love it and I’m actually nailing it… but I do have a breakdown over it every two weeks or something.”
Taking your answer as a cue, Mark unexpectedly tosses a few questions here and there, leaving you a little stunned at how effortlessly he seemed to ponder over your study. With him attentively hanging onto your every word, you almost catch yourself giving him a long-winded lecture about the subject.
“Let’s stop talking about this or I’ll never shut up,” you whine, noticing the food’s nearly done. “We’re talking about me too much.”
Mark chuckles softly, shaking his head. “You know I don’t mind,” he says, eyes wandering around your small place for a moment until stopping at your bookshelf. “I’m a little curious about what you’ve got there. Would you mind if I check it out?”
“Not at all,” you answer, gesturing for him to step closer for a better look. “It’s a chaotic collection, though. There’s pretty much a bit of everything in there.”
As he stands in front of your mess of a bookshelf, Mark runs his fingers through a few spines, attentively eyeing the titles. “I don’t really know a whole lot about books but I can spot some classics here.”
You nod, moving closer to stand beside him. “I haven’t read a few of these in a long time.”
Glancing over with a knowing smile, he gives you a playful nudge. “Any recommendations?”
Pausing for a second, you briefly mull over a few options before settling on a shorter one, the book's cover instantly earning a laugh out of Mark as you hand it over to him. Though as he reads the title, his gaze turns pensive and you can’t help a fond smile from growing on your lips.
“You can have this one,” you say quietly, Mark breaking out of a trance as he turns to look at you again. “Tell me what you think of it later.”
Mark offers a soft smile, tapping the cover with his fingers. “I'll trust your judgment,” he murmurs, eyes alight with a playful glint. “Maybe I should let you read some of my stuff, then.”
“Maybe I have already,” you tease, arms crossing over your chest as you stare him right back. “If you’re a writer under a pen name, you could be the author of any of these books as far as I know.”
“I’m not that secretive about my writing, I promise.” He smiles, though a bit guarded. “I just don’t really like sharing all of it.”
The conversation lingers between you for a moment, your mind completely taken by Mark’s duality. As you try to figure him out, the lines that seem to draw his persona get more and more blurry.
Though there’s something effortlessly cool and laidback about him, Mark’s still shy and a little reserved. He’s guarded, but also somehow open to talk about anything and everything. In a way, it feels like a nice balance, but you can’t help but wonder if there’s any missing pieces to him that you can’t see now.
The sudden ring of his phone stops you from taking up on the offer of reading whatever he wanted you to.
Mark keeps looking at you apologetically as a Johnny talks to him, visibly frustrated with the conversation despite the usual easygoing tone lacing his voice.
When the call wraps up, he tucks the phone into his hoodie again with a sigh. “I'm really sorry,” he starts, sounding nothing but sincere. “Apparently something happened at work and I’m the only one who can fix it.”
Rolling your eyes, you smile dismissively. “It’s fine, Mark. I hope everything’s okay, though.”
Once at your doorway, Mark hesitates for a second, gaze softening as he turns around to step closer to you. “I’ll make it up to you, alright?” He smiles, offering a firm nod. “We’ll talk later.”
With your face suddenly on fire, you dazedly return the smile, unsure of what to reply. “Alright.”
In the silence of your apartment later that night, you couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe, just maybe, something had shifted between you.
The aftermath of your last encounter is anything but ideal.
With both of you caught up in your own deadlines and work-fueled late nights, even the chances of casually running into each other around the building seemed to be far-fetched over the coming days.
While you were wrapped up in a blur of revised drafts and emails from your advisor, unbeknownst to you, Mark himself was occupied with the very same matter that interrupted your shared dinner, struggling with last-minute changes for an artist’s upcoming project.
Though there was little time between you, the tenderness of Mark’s promise still lingered with you, expectation building in your heart at the thought of seeing him again.
It’s still early in the morning as you wait for the elevator at your floor, relieved that another hectic week is finally over. As you silently plan to ignore your to-do list for the weekend to catch up with the last episodes of a show you’ve been procrastinating on, the doors open to reveal Mark already inside.
Leaning against the wall with wired earphones around his neck, he instantly straightens up upon seeing you, a sheepish smile curling on his lips. “Hey, neighbor.”
Offering a smile back, you step by his side with a gentle glance. “Hi, Mark.”
As you stand there for a moment, there’s an edge of hesitation that both seem to notice, then choosing to speak at the same time.
“Sorry I haven’t—”
“I’m sorry for not—”
Both of you pause again, sharing a surprised laugh for a second before Mark motions for you to go first.
“I just want to say sorry for not keeping in touch these days,” you confess, sighing apologetically. “I think you know already, but things got crazy with my deadlines and I completely lost the timing to reach you back after dinner.”
“It’s okay.” He shakes his head, offering a warm-hearted chuckle. “I’m really sorry too, I know I promised to make it up to you but things just… kind of piled up. I kept meaning to text you, but something always came up.”
You nod in understanding, giving a meek shrug as your hands tighten around the strap of your bag. “It’s okay with me too.”
“So… what time are your classes ending these days?” Mark asks offhandedly, clearing his throat as he looks ahead. “Like, today?”
“Today?” you ask, confused despite your amusement. “Around six, I think?”
With a nod, his answer sounds so quiet that you almost miss it. “That’s good,” he mumbles, almost as if to himself before he glances at you again, smiling lightly. “Good luck with your classes today, then.”
The elevator chimes softly as it reaches the lobby, again drawing the conversation to an end before you can answer. As you step out, Mark keeps a small distance behind you, a subtle hesitation in his step once you’re both outside ready to part ways.
You exchange quick goodbyes, each turning toward your own direction.
As he’s a few steps down the street, you call out for his name, voice carrying a teasing edge. “I’ll see you later, neighbor.”
Much to your delight, you do see Mark later—at your university, no less, waiting for you outside the humanities building. Though it’s easy to spot him, the button-up and tank-top combo somehow making him stand out, you can’t hide the shock upon recognizing his familiar figure casually standing around, offering a wave as he spots you.
You quickly close the few steps towards him, a confused smile playing on your lips. “Oh my God, it’s really you. I thought I was crazy for a second.”
Mark laughs, cheeks hinting a blush despite his nonchalant nod. “I was just around the area and thought I’d swing by to check if you needed company home.”
“I do,” you say, still surprised. “I hope you didn’t wait for too long.”
“Nah, don’t worry about it.” He smiles, glancing at you with warm eyes. “Ready to go?”
You hum softly. “Yeah.”
Still caught off-guard by his thoughtfulness, you’re most definitely not expecting Mark to quietly offer his hand out towards you. It’s a gentle, open gesture and though he does it very naturally, there’s a hint of apprehension on his face, as if he’s unsure of your reaction.
Without a word, you immediately slip your hand into his, heart thumping in your ears.
As both of you set off to the station, a strangely familiar sense of intimacy sets between you during the walk.
The subway is typically packed, chaos all around you with a mob of wide-eyed tourists and aggravated locals fighting for space, loud voices and chit-chat carrying out all the way through the tight space. At the end of a car, you squeeze into a quieter spot as Mark stands right in front of you, close enough to subtly tower over your figure.
Your eyes discreetly take in his frame, pausing at the glasses hanging on the collar of his tank-top. “I don’t think I’ve seen you in glasses yet,” you say, raising an amused eyebrow at him. “Don’t tell me this is just for aesthetics, Mark.”
“I kinda wish it was, actually,” he argues, grimacing. “I mostly wear contacts, though. I keep breaking or losing all my glasses.”
Carefully pulling them out, you reach over and gently place the glasses on his face, regarding him for a second with a grin. “It looks cute, you should wear them more.”
As if he needs something to do with his hands, Mark adjusts the frames on his face, his cheeks heating up in a faint blush. “Oh—yeah, I guess. Thank you?”
The playful glint in your eyes goes unnoticed by him, grin widening at how endearing his flustered reaction is. “You’re welcome,” you say, leaning in just enough to make him look down at you again. “The blush looks cute on you, too.”
“Come on,” Mark chides, huffing a surprised, timid laugh. “Don’t do that to me.”
As your curiosity moves on to the wired earphones still wrapped around his neck, your fingers graze the cord before you take an earbud, slipping into your ear with a pointed look at him. Mark instantly takes the hint, picking the spare one before reaching over for his phone, scrolling through until a smooth beat starts playing.
Absorbed into the music, you don’t even notice Mark taking a step closer to avoid the flow of people around you, one of your hands subconsciously moving to steady him by holding onto his waist.
The songs blend into each other for a few stations as both of you focus on the playlist instead, sneaking playful glances at each other every so often.
“So you’re a bit of a rockstar, huh?” he asks after a while, smiling warmly at the confusion on your face over his sudden remark. “It’s just that you seemed to vibe with the rock stuff more than I expected.”
You raise an eyebrow, smiling back with a hint of challenge in your eyes. “Maybe I just like your taste in music.”
Mark chuckles, running a hand through the back of his neck. “Not gonna lie, that kinda makes me feel good about myself,” he says, earning a genuine laugh from you. “I’ll link you up to my playlist, then.”
“Don’t pay too much attention to me next time,” you chide, feigning a frown despite the playfulness in your eyes.
He shakes his head, voice sounding nothing but sincere as his fingers brush lightly against your cheek, raising your chin up just a tiny bit. “I’ll always pay attention to you.”
Just as his words sink in, the conductor’s cracked voice finally announces your station, leaving you silently grateful for the chance to collect yourself, your burning cheeks thankfully going unnoticed by Mark.
As he takes your hand again, you both move through the small crowd at the platform, the cool night air soon welcoming you outside over the short walk to the building. Though it feels shorter than usual, you still hang onto Mark’s stories with his friends, Johnny and Donghyuck, invested in the mischievous tidbits of their friendship shared on the way.
At the elevator, you stand beside him for a second time in the day.
Except that this time, leaving with a quick kiss to his cheek, you know exactly what Mark means to you.
Mark can’t help but read the letter a little differently now.
As an awkward mix of comfort and uncertainty grows in his heart at every word, not even the refuge of his studio feels enough to ease the tension of his thoughts.
The feeling that you’re the author of the message that he’s been obsessed with for the past couple of months comes with a weight that Mark hasn’t been quite sure how to deal with yet. The kindness laced to the letter already felt way too personal then, but now, it carries a sense of intimacy that feels directly connected to you.
It makes him feel a little silly too, realizing that you’ve entirely known him all along, nonetheless unknowingly witnessing the exact pieces that Mark held close to himself. Still, despite his ongoing conflict, he does marvel at the serendipity of the situation.
Lost in thought, Mark barely notices Johnny sidling over until the oldest takes a seat beside him at the mixing table, raising an eyebrow at the paper in his hands. “Reading the mystery letter again?”
“Sorry,” he chuckles humorlessly, avoiding his friend’s gaze. “I know I’ve been too hung up on this thing.”
“I don’t know what you’re apologizing for,” Johnny huffs, offering an odd look to his friend despite the playfulness of his words. “You got a letter from a mysterious neighbor. So what?”
Mark pauses, clicking his tongue as he finally looks up at Johnny. “Actually… it might not be that mysterious anymore, I guess.”
Johnny’s eyes widen in genuine surprise, interest suddenly piqued. “Are you telling me you found out who wrote your love letter?”
“Remember the girl you saw me talking to at Jaehyun’s open mic?” Mark asks, fingers nervously fiddling with the letter as Johnny nods. “We’ve been kinda hanging out lately and she’s… you know, also my neighbor.”
His friend blinks, visibly impressed by the unexpected twist. “Damn, Haechan is right.” Johnny snorts, a knowing grin soon taking over. “Your life is fucking ridiculous, Mark.”
“I’m not really sure it’s her, though,” he counters, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. “I mean, I think it could be. The way she talks to me sort of reminds me of how the letter is written. It’s just… I don’t know.”
“Then ask her,” Johnny offers, as if he’s stating the obvious. “What’s the worst that could happen? You’re already talking to each other anyway.”
“Yeah, but what if it’s just me wishful thinking?” Mark shrugs, a sigh escaping his mouth. “I don’t want to confuse her with my shit. I actually like her a lot, Johnny.”
As brotherly as ever, the oldest lets out a quiet chuckle, regarding his friend with attentive eyes. “You’re overthinking it, Mark,” Johnny chides softly. “If it’s her, great for you, but if it’s not, then it’s just a story you can tell.”
At the reassuring words, Mark turns the idea around in his head. Deep down, he knows that his hesitation says more about him than you—after all, finding out the truth means that he’s vulnerable, parts of him that even he can’t understand yet exposed. Mark also knows that you haven’t given him anything worth doubting your sincerity.
It’s actually quite the opposite, given he hasn’t felt so oddly understood and seen in a long time, despite how good he is at his job and how well he’s perceived by the people around him.
Considering Johnny’s input in the brief moment, Mark eventually nods. “I’ll think about it, promise.”
“If she got to know you as well as we do, I know she likes you just as much,” Johnny finishes, giving an encouraging pat to his shoulder. “Just make sure to get out of your head a little, alright?”
Taking one last look at the letter before tucking it away, nerves pleasantly buzzing in his chest, Mark decidedly acquiesces.
What’s the worst that could happen anyway?
The music starts almost shyly at first, chords soon carrying through the walls softly and unassuming.
You pause mid-motion, fingers hovering over the keyboard of your laptop as your brain instantly loses the next few lines of your assignment. It finally dawns on you that your mysterious neighbor has returned—at the same time as you realize that you hadn’t noticed their absence at all, for a while now.
As always, you can’t help but love the unknown melody though it strangely stirs something bittersweet in your heart, somewhat apologetic over not feeling their disappearance enough.
It makes you think of the letter.
Did your neighbor read it? What did they think of it? Did it mean anything to them?
It’s a given that your thoughts also wander to Mark, the significance of your growing relationship definitely not lost as you slowly recognize how his presence has filled so much of your mind lately, so much of your days.
It almost feels like the song’s tenderness is engraved onto your brain once it fades away, over as suddenly as it started. As the weight of the silence settles in, you feel stupidly torn between the comfort you’d found and the one you’d forgotten.
Mark 7:23PM
Hey rockstar
I’m home
Kinda want to hear your thoughts on this
Care to have a listen?
It’s an unusually quiet Saturday evening for you.
At the buzz of your phone, Mark’s name lighting up the screen for a brief second, you take a pause from your book. Though seeing his name doesn’t surprise you, given you’ve been texting back and forth all day, your curiosity immediately takes over as you read through the cryptic messages followed by a download link.
7:24PM
You’re home?
I hope you aren’t scamming me 😛
Since Mark had to suddenly cancel the plans you’d made earlier in the week due to work, you’re eager to see him, especially now as the university’s break nears by a couple of days. Before you can text him to come over though, another message comes through.
Mark 7:25PM
Please listen to it baby
As your heart leaps at the reply, you’re quick to follow his request.
Then, Mark’s suddenly singing to you.
The guitar chords are unmistakable to your ears. It’s the very same melody played by your mysterious neighbor a few nights ago, except the sound’s definitely richer now, crystal clear with no walls in the way to hold back its softness. His voice feels incredibly tender, warm and light like a hug, almost as if he’s poured his soul into it.
A shiver runs through your body as realization finally hits you—all this time, Mark has been your mysterious neighbor, the very one you’d sent a secret letter to, your unknown comfort presence.
You’re not even properly thinking when rushing upstairs, urgently knocking on the door of the apartment right above yours.
As it swings open, one look at him is enough for you to throw your arms around Mark’s neck, catching him by surprise by pressing your lips against his. It takes a second for him to react, his own arms soon wrapped around your waist to pull you flush against his chest. As he blindly steps back inside, Mark kicks the door closed before deepening the kiss, both hands at the back of your head.
You’re not sure how long it lasts but when you pull away, both of you light-headed and breathless, it still doesn’t feel long enough.
With flushed cheeks, Mark sighs in a mix of wonder and disbelief. “Wow, this is… wow,” he manages, chest still heaving. “What’s going on?”
The dazed look on his face earns a laugh from you, especially as it pairs with his messy hair and disheveled clothes. Completely endeared by his reaction, you lean closer again, brushing a quick, feather-light kiss against Mark’s lips before he can even react.
“You’re my mysterious neighbor,” you start, voice soft with admiration as your hands cup his cheeks. “You’re the one who’s been playing music all this time.”
He gives you a small smile, subtly leaning into your hold. “You’re the one who wrote the letter.”
“This is crazy, Mark,” you say, huffing at the absurdity of the situation in both disbelief and amazement. “I can’t believe you’re the person I’ve been obsessed with since I moved in.”
His brows raise slightly, a teasing glint replacing the warmth in his eyes. “You’ve been obsessed with me?”
“You have no idea how much I loved listening to you.” You smile unabashedly, fingertips gently brushing at his cheeks. “I was always so happy whenever I came home and you’d just start playing out of nowhere. It felt like you knew exactly when I needed your music, you know.”
As his face softens, Mark watches you for a second. “Did you really mean it?” he asks, voice quieter. “The letter you sent me… did you mean all of that?”
Meeting his gaze, you nod without hesitation. “I wouldn’t have written it if I didn’t.”
As he wraps his arms around you in the warmest, heartfelt hug, Mark pulls back just enough so his lips are meeting yours again, the slow kiss melting your body against his own.
Though pulling yourself away from Mark feels like a challenge, as you breathlessly step back from his hold, your eyes are immediately taking in every detail around.
Sometimes, you’d foolishly envision your mysterious neighbor’s apartment, wondering how different it could be from your own. So it feels surreal standing there now and realizing that everything feels very, very Mark. It’s almost like the place pieces together parts of him that you hadn’t quite figured out yet.
An entire wall of vinyls and CDs, a few collectible toys here and there on the shelves, instruments all around his living room—all of it explains so much about him.
Walking over to check his collection much like he did with your books, you shoot him a curious glance. “So you’re a musician?”
“You could say that.” Mark frowns, pausing for a second before he sighs. “I mean, I work with music but I’m actually just a songwriter for a record label.”
Your eyes light up, a gasp escaping from your lips. “So I was right when I said you were a writer,” you reply, satisfaction taking over your face. “Did you write the song you sent me?”
He nods, feeling surprisingly at ease despite having spent half of the day restless over the recording. “Yeah, it was me,” Mark answers, chuckling at your enthusiasm. “You didn’t tell me what you’d think of it yet.”
“Are you kidding? The fact you’re my mysterious neighbor wasn’t the only thing that made me attack you just now,” you joke as he bursts into a laugh. “I do wonder who it was about, though.”
Mark raises an eyebrow, his lips twitching in amusement. “You think I’m going to tell you that easily?”
With a knowing grin, you silently turn back to scanning the rows of albums in his shelves again. As he steps behind you, Mark specifically reaches out for a CD, your eyes curiously scanning the cover.
“It’s only fair giving you a recommendation too, right?” he muses, smiling gently. “A rock classic for a rockstar seems fitting enough.”
The subtle implication laced to his words make your smile widen, album still in your hands as you glance at him over your shoulder. “Would you sing it for me if I asked?”
Mark hesitates, though seemingly more out of confusion than anything else. “Like… right now?”
As you turn around to face him, there’s a hint of reassurance on your face. “You don’t really have to, but I’d love to hear it with no walls between us this time.”
There’s a touch of confidence to the way Mark leads you to his couch, a hand on the small of your back until he settles beside you with a guitar on his lap. It’s probably the prettiest you’ve ever seen him, dark hair sitting above his eyes and glasses perched on his nose, the little moles on his face calling you for a kiss.
The silence between you is soon filled by the guitar, Mark strumming the familiar melody with an ease that you can’t help amaze at. The softness of his voice embraces you again, anticipation growing with every word between your shared glances.
With the last chord drawing the song to a close, you’re the one pulling the guitar away before leaning over, kissing Mark again as he welcomes you closer.
“So, you and me,” he starts, nose brushing against yours as you hum, smiling against his mouth. “Are we really doing this? For real now?”
Your heart has never felt so full and assured, no hesitation to your answer.
“We’re doing this.”
The crowd’s applause slowly settles as Mark leaves the stage.
There’s a mix of adrenaline and contentment simmering in his chest, heart still racing as he clutches his guitar closer, taking one last look at the familiar atmosphere—for the first time, not as a mere spectator, but as a performer.
As your voice breaks through his high, Mark turns around just in time to put the guitar away before you leap into his arms, kissing him so deeply as if you haven’t seen him for weeks.
A wide smile takes over your face once pulling away, excitement practically spilling over from your eyes. “Oh my God, you were so good!”
He grins, instinctively reaching for your waist to hold you close. “You think so?”
“I know so,” you gush, expression softening for a second. “I’m so proud of you, baby. It was really incredible, you killed it.”
“I don’t think I could’ve done it without you,” he confesses gently, a contrast to his firm gaze. “If you hadn’t insisted so much… I think I’d still be stuck in my head about it, you know.”
“You were the one up there performing, not me,” you argue, leaning closer to press a quick kiss to his cheek. “It was all you, your music and your talent.”
Mark shakes his head, a chuckle escaping from his mouth as he closes his arms around your shoulders, pulling you into a warm embrace. “You’re crazy,” he murmurs, brushing a kiss to your forehead. “Thank you for not letting me give up on this.”
As you pull back from his hold to meet his eyes, a playful smile curls on your lips. “I take my thanks in the form of take-out.”
He just laughs, nodding softly. “Let’s go home, then.”
Just like that, under a galaxy of stars in the sky and the warmth of a summer evening, Mark lets you guide him back home.
author’s note: you’d think i would finally let this series die after writing a combined 60k+ words for it but apparently not 🥴 special thanks to everyone who voted on the poll, your feedback was much appreciated! 💞 as always, shoutout to cat and moon for entertaining my ideas and helping me with the titles and more <3333 where would i be without you mwah 😘 and happy 3 year anniversary to this blog!! 🎉
additional: the story picks up directly after the first demigods series, so please read that if you haven’t! while these can be read as standalones, like the first series, these fics all follow an overarching plotline so it is best if you read them in order!
credit for the template used in my edits (x)
my murderous psycho brother gives my boyfriend the seal of approval | son of athena!renjun x daughter of aphrodite!reader
after it’s revealed that your brother is a traitor, having stolen the golden fleece and nearly killing everyone at camp half-blood, the entire aphrodite cabin is in shambles. you are especially inconsolable, since you and him were always close. you know you eventually have to face him for the final time, but having huang renjun—your best friend turned boyfriend—by your side gives you courage that you didn’t know you had.
my boyfriend and i babysit a psycho for our first date | son of apollo!jaemin x daughter of hades!reader
now that you’re finally recovered from the injuries of your previous mission, you and your siblings are immediately assigned a new mission: keep guard over the traitor as the camp decides what they will do with him. well, you and your siblings plus a straggler—your boyfriend, na jaemin, who insists on tagging along because he’s worried about you. perhaps rightfully so, since the heads of the camp secretly task you with finding the elusive second traitor.
my boyfriend (who can breathe underwater) drowns | son of poseidon!donghyuck x daughter of athena!reader
as a child of one of the big three gods, your boyfriend lee donghyuck has become one of the strongest demigods at camp half-blood. of course, he’s still that same annoying goofball that whines when you don’t give him enough attention. however, as security concerns ramp up within the camp, the two of you grow busy with your respective duties. the next thing you know, donghyuck is in the underworld, bathing in the river styx. after all, your boyfriend has never been one to turn down a triple dog dare.
i tell my boyfriend to go to hell (and he drags me with him) | son of ares!jeno x daughter of nike!reader
despite the fact that it’s been a few weeks, you still find it hard to believe that your archnemesis lee jeno is now your boyfriend. your dynamic with him hasn’t really changed either, and the two of you continue to hurl insults at each other with some sporadic makeout sessions in the middle of it. you’re both still figuring everything out, but neither of you mind as long as you’re together. that is, until camp half-blood erupts into chaos, and you realize just how difficult it is to stay together.
➺ word count: 9.9k
➺ genre: exes to lovers, second chance romance, angst with a happy ending :), some hurt/comfort, fluff, ‘we broke up but somehow keep ending up as each other’s plus-ones’ trope (is that a trope? idk)
➺ warnings: mentions of death/depictions of grief, family and interpersonal conflict
➺ author’s note: i am a 5-star general in the idgaf war on the side of gaf 🫡
“This is us now, remember? Just weddings and funerals.”
“If you need anything, call me.”
That’s what Sungchan had said, two months ago, when the two of you ended things on fairly amicable terms.
“Y/N?” It hurt to hear his voice saying your name again. With such surprise, you’d obviously woken him up at this hour on a Saturday.
“Sungchan, hey,” you winced at the awkward crack in your voice. “Did I wake you up? Sorry…”
“No, it’s fine. Are you okay?”
“Yeah, uhm, I have a-a favor to ask…”
He was silent, letting you go ahead and make your request.
“Are you busy today?” You balled your hand into a fist, digging your fingernails into your palm. “My cousin’s wedding is today and my plus-one bailed on me last minute. It’s fine if you’re busy—Actually never mind, you’re probably busy and this weird—”
“I can do it.” He cleared his throat away from the speaker, and you could hear his sheets shifting around as he sat up. “What time should I pick you up?”
“Thank you,” you said again, sitting down ahead of the ceremony.
Sungchan took the seat beside you, adjusting his suit jacket. “I was supposed to be your plus-one for this anyway, wasn’t I?”
You nodded.
He flashed you a smile. “No need to thank me then. At least not for a tenth time.”
You chuckled lightly, running your hands over the material over your knees. “Sorry. I’m still freaked from my friend canceling on me last-minute, I guess.”
“Oh, I thought you were feeling awkward because you brought me.”
You smiled sheepishly. “Well, that too, I guess.”
“So who were you bringing? That canceled?”
“Chaeyeon.”
He let out a laugh at that. “Well of course she flaked.”
“I know. She volunteered after we… After she heard I wouldn’t be bringing you anymore,” you admitted. “It’s hard telling her no.”
Music started playing then, and a hush fell over the crowd.
At the reception, you were sat at a table with some older aunties and uncles that you hadn’t seen since you were little.
“Oh, this must be Sungchan!” One of the aunties gasped in delight as soon as you introduced yourself, before you could even begin introducing Sungchan. At your surely startled look, she explained, “Your mom posts pictures all the time.”
“Right. Of course,” you nodded, struggling to think of something to say.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Sungchan greeted them all politely.
“Even taller in person,” One auntie giggled to another.
“And more handsome!” The other said back.
“Y/N, you’ve grown so much since the last time I saw you,” one of the uncles saved you. “What do you do now?”
“Oh, I’m getting my master’s in—” You cut yourself off upon spotting the bride and groom making their way to your table to greet everyone. You weren’t exceptionally close with this cousin, but the wedding was close enough in distance that you felt obligated to go, especially because your mother was out of town. One of you had to make an appearance.
She leant down to kiss all the older relatives’ cheeks first, then you got up to give her and her husband hugs and your congrats.
“Thank you for coming, Y/N,” she was beaming as she looked expectantly at Sungchan behind you.
“Uhm, Sooyoung, this is Sungchan,” you introduced them quietly.
“Congratulations,” he bowed to them.
“Of course!” Sooyoung hugged him as well. “You know, the older cousins had bets, we all thought it’d be you guys next! I was so worried when Y/N hadn’t posted you in a while. But I guess I was worried for nothing.”
She and her husband laughed before taking off for the next table of guests. As chatter discussing when you and Sungchan would be getting married erupted at your own table, you pretended you couldn’t hear it as you latched onto his forearm and announced loudly, “I’m thirsty, let’s get some drinks!”
Sungchan allowed himself to be yanked off into the crowd, to the drinks table on the other side of the venue. You skin was still on fire when you arrived, refusing to look at him as you instead carefully scoured the drinks options.
“Here.” He handed you a glass of your favorite drink.
“Thanks,” you huffed, gulping down half of it in one go.
The lucky couple were on the dance floor now for their first dance, and you gnawed on your bottom lip as you watched them. God, why the hell did you even bring Sungchan? So you didn’t look like a lonely loser? Was this really much better?
“Do you want to dance?” He nudged your arm, nodding to where others had joined the couple on the dance floor. An upbeat song was playing, and plenty of fun dancing was happening.
Anything to distract yourself. “Sure.”
Sungchan put your glasses back down before offering you a hand. Against your better judgment, you placed your hand atop his and let him guide you out onto the edge of the dance floor. There, he let go of your hand again and kept a polite distance between the two of you as he started getting into some rather silly dance moves. You couldn’t fight the smile on your face as you watched him flail his gangly limbs around for what you knew was your benefit.
“I forgot how bad of a dancer you are, Sungchan,” you covered your mouth as you laughed.
“Only when I’m trying to make you laugh,” he grinned back, pulling your hand down from your face.
You kept your hands down as you matched his moves, freely giggling this time. When the song changed to a slower one, you looked between him and your table uncertainly, trying to gauge if he wanted to exit the dance floor.
Sungchan looked down at you and shrugged, once again offering you a hand. And once again, against your better judgment, you placed yours atop it and let him pull you closer. You put your other hand on his shoulder as his rested on your waist. This close, you could smell his familiar expensive cologne that he only brought out for fancy events—the last time you’d smelled it was at your anniversary dinner six months ago. His warm breaths washed over your ear, and you couldn’t see much else other than his nice tie that you knew very well was his only one, which matched perfectly with your nice outfit that you were wearing (also your only one).
“I haven’t told my family either,” he murmured, not breaking the slow pace he was swaying the two of you at.
You looked up at him, feeling guilty tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. He knew, of course he knew. He was smiling bittersweetly down at you.
“It’s okay, Y/N,” he said quietly. “I still haven’t told my family that we broke up yet.”
“Sorry,” you apologized hoarsely, even though he already said it was okay.
“Me too.”
You tentatively leaned your head on his chest. He didn’t stop you or tense up. “It’s okay.”
“Yeah, you too.”
That’s what you’d said back, when you’d broken up.
You hadn’t seen Sungchan since your cousin’s wedding sixteen days ago, and yes, you were absolutely counting the days. And yet it still surprised you to see his caller ID lighting up your phone screen. It didn’t surprise you so much the speed with which you picked up his call.
“Sungchan?”
There was heavy breathing on the other end, punctuated by a thin, quiet whine.
“Sungchan?!” You repeated, jumping to your feet off your couch. “Are you okay?”
“Y/N, I’m sorry…” He sniffled, and you could already imagine his tear-stained face.
“Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay,” you reassured him gently. “What’s going on?”
“Are you busy right now?” He asked through a sob. “I’m sorry, my grandmother’s funeral is today and—”
“I’ll be over in ten.”
“Thank you,” Sungchan mumbled into your shoulder as you hugged each other just past his front door.
“I’m sorry, Sungchan,” you whispered, squeezing him as tight as you could. “I’m so sorry.”
Sungchan had been really close to his grandmother, she was practically a third parent to him growing up. He shook in your arms now, and you continued to hold him close.
“We need to leave soon, or we’re going to be late,” he declared, finally pulling back. “Oh, God, your shirt. I’m sorry.”
You looked down at your black blouse, where there was a large pooling of tears and presumably snot as well. You waved his concerns away. “It’s okay. You get ready, I’ll take care of it.”
As Sungchan got dressed in his room, you took a damp washcloth to your top in the kitchen, cleaning it off as best you could. It was black, it’s not like you could really see much in the first place. You were waiting for him in the living room when he came back out mostly dressed, sheepishly holding out his singular nice tie to you.
“Can you help me?” He requested. “My fingers are shaking too much.”
“Of course.” You took it and he sat down on the arm of the couch. Standing in front of him, you hooked the material around the back of his neck, then looped it easily, your own fingers moving with muscle memory. Sungchan knew how to tie a tie, but you had insisted he show you how to tie one. Whenever you two went out to events together that necessitated him wearing one, you would help him put it on, then he’d help you with your necklace in return. Really, it was just an excuse to exchange kisses in between, which you refrained from doing this time.
“You should know…” Sungchan’s head was down, watching you adjust his tie. “I still haven’t told them. I’m sorry.”
You gave the tie a pat to signal that you were finished, and smiled softly at him. “It’s fine. You’ve got other things to worry about today.”
“Oh, Sungchan, Y/N,” Sungchan’s mother found you as soon as you had stepped foot in her house for the wake, kissing her son’s cheek before enveloping you in her arms.
“Hi, Mrs. Jung,” you hugged her back. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
“Thank you.” Her eyes were misty when you pulled back. She kept you close, though, fixing a stray piece of hair for you. “Sungchan said you weren’t going to be able to make it.”
“She got someone to cover for her,” Sungchan explained for you.
Mrs. Jung smiled and nodded. “Thank you, sweetheart. My mom adored you.”
“She was a wonderful woman,” you agreed fondly.
“Here, Y/N, let’s get something to drink,” Sungchan suggested, gently ushering you away from his mom with a hand on the small of your back.
You gave her hand one last squeeze before letting him guide you over to the kitchen. It was devoid of other mourners, and you silently watched him take down two glasses from the cabinet and fill them up with water.
“Do you want to go outside?” You asked as he handed you your water.
He just nodded, and you took his free hand to pull him over towards the door that you knew led to the backyard. The two of you were the only ones out here, which made sense, as it was the middle of winter, but you didn’t complain as the cold air nipped at any bare skin.
“I don’t get it,” he stated, staring out at the dry, brown grass. His words came out as white puffs in the crisp air.
“Get what?” You replied quietly.
“What I’m even supposed to be doing right now. Here,” he explained, and you watched his throat bob up and down as he swallowed thickly. “I’m sick of crying. I at least don’t want to cry for four straight hours in front of a bunch of people.”
“Why not?”
“Why don’t I want to cry for four straight hours in front of a bunch of people?” He repeated incredulously, staring at you this time.
“Yeah,” you shrugged. “She’s your grandmother, you’re grieving. If that’s how you feel, like you need to cry for four straight hours… Then you should.”
He shook his head, taking a sip of his water despite the ice cubes in it. “Not here. I’ll cry for four hours later.”
“Okay.”
“Talk to me about something. Anything,” he prompted you, shuffling closer until you were shoulder-to-shoulder.
You looked away from his red eyes, telling yourself that they were watering from the cold. “Uhm, I watched this documentary about penguins the other day.”
“Penguins?”
“I fell asleep halfway through, though…”
Sungchan laughed loudly at that, keeling forward as he wiped at the tears that finally spilled over. A smile tugged at the corner of your lips as you watched him, and you didn’t even try to defend yourself. Once he had righted himself a little bit, still teary-eyed and grinning broadly, he nudged you with his elbow, “Well tell me what you remember from before you fell asleep.”
“Alright, alright…”
“Thank you again, Y/N,” Sungchan sighed as the two of you approached his front door that evening. “You’re… I owe you one.”
“Just repaying the favor.”
“Well…” He looked between you and his front door awkwardly. “Uhm, goodnight, I guess.”
“Are you actually going to cry for four hours now?”
He scratched the back of his neck. “Maybe three?”
You took a deep breath. “I know you didn’t want to cry in front of all those people, and I know we’re… but I can stay, if you want. Or not, if you need to be alone.”
“Can you?” He smiled weakly, his voice cracking. “I felt like I took up enough of your time today.”
“No, of course I can, Sungchan,” you reassured him.
He unlocked the front door and you followed him inside. His apartment hadn’t changed much, except in one major way—all the pictures of you two were missing. They hadn’t been replaced, you noted, the places they used to sit now starkly empty. You didn’t comment on that as the two of you silently made your way towards his room.
Sungchan handed you some clothing, and you took them into the bathroom to change out of your nice funeral outfit. Leaving your clothes folded on the bathroom counter, you waited for Sungchan to give you the okay that he was ready for you to emerge.
He was already sitting up against his headboard when you entered, and you sat down on the empty side of the bed, leaving some space between you two.
“I feel like shit,” he said bluntly, fingers messing with the blanket over his lap. “I wish I was at the part where I felt nothing.”
“I get that,” you agreed softly.
“I-I was supposed to—” He was cut off by a sniffle, and wiped at his cheeks as tears began streaming down. “I was supposed to see her. But I was too busy. And two days later she was gone.”
“Sungchan, you couldn’t have known.” You offered a hand out towards him in the space between you.
“Can I—”
“Yeah, whatever you need.”
He turned onto his side and shuffled around and down until he was curled up on top of your lap, head pressed into your middle. You pulled the blanket back over him, rubbing his back as more and more tears surfaced.
“I can’t believe she’s gone…” he blubbered into the oversized crewneck you were wearing. “I can’t even—can’t comprehend that I’ll never hug her again.”
“I know, Channie,” you murmured, feeling your own eyes water sympathetically. “I’m so sorry, baby.”
The word had slipped out without you even thinking, and you had a split-second of panic as you kept the same rhythm of rubbing his back, hoping he wouldn’t notice. If he did, he didn’t say anything, simply nestling further into you.
“It hurts, Y/N,” he whimpered. “Everything hurts. My chest, my heart, my head from crying so fucking much.”
“Do you want me to grab you an ibuprofen for your head?”
“No, stay with me.”
“Okay, Channie.” You ran your fingers through his hair. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Sungchan eventually cried himself to sleep like that, and you didn’t have it in you to try to worm your way out while he was passed out. So you fell asleep there too, cradling his head close to you and with the familiar, comforting pressure of him atop you.
You were awoken by sunlight across your lids, and tried to turn over away from the windows, stopped by the immovable weight on you. You gave up with a grunt, throwing an arm over your face instead.
“Shit, sorry…” Sungchan mumbled, rolling off of you and back to the other side of the bed. “Didn’t mean to trap you here.”
You peered at him from under your arm with one eye, offering him a sleepy smile. “It’s fine. How are you feeling?”
“Head hurts. Sad. Whatever, you know. But a lot better than if you hadn’t stayed. Thank you.”
“Good, good.” You sat up and yawned. “I’ll get you something for your head.”
“Hey, I am sorry if this was weird for you…”
You gave him as casual of a shrug as you could, hoping it came across as cool and nonchalant. “We did this before we dated too, remember? Sleepovers?”
“Yeah, and I though my heart was going to give out every time,” he laughed, rubbing his face.
You chuckled, swinging your feet over the edge of the bed. “Me too.”
After breakfast, you changed back into your clothes from the wake and stopped at the front door to say goodbye to Sungchan.
“Keep in touch, okay?” You requested, getting on your tiptoes to wrap your arms around his neck. “At least let me know you’re alive?”
He was quiet as you let go and dropped back down to flat feet, mouth opening and closing as he seemed to be putting his words together.
“Y/N—” Sungchan’s voice was hoarse as his hand cupped your cheek. He paused, puffy eyes searching your face. You froze, too swept away at being this close to him again, letting him tilt your chin up, leaning in as he did. As soon as his lips hesitantly ghosted over yours, your fingers instinctively wrapped around the back of his neck, pulling him down to fully seal your mouths together. His lips moved against yours so gingerly, so sweetly, you felt like you might melt.
When you finally pulled back for air, a thin string of saliva connected you two for a moment before it split. You immediately ducked your head and sighed, “Bad idea, God, Sungchan, I’m sorry.”
You weren’t even sure if you were apologizing for stopping, or letting it happen in the first place, or both.
“But you—”
“You’re not in a good place right now,” you explained ruefully, stepping back fully. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—”
“Oh.” He looked down at his feet dejectedly. “No, Y/N, don’t feel bad. You’re right, I’m sorry for doing that to you—”
“No, it’s fine, Sungchan, really. I just don’t think it’s a good time—”
“I get it. Uhm, thanks.”
“I meant it though, keep in touch. I don’t want to have to find out from Shotaro if you’re okay.”
He nodded and smiled, a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Of course. And hey, next wedding or funeral you need a plus-one for, let me know.”
“Maybe that’s us now. Weddings and funerals,” you chuckled.
“Ha, yeah.”
Giving his forearm one last squeeze, you opened the front door. “See you at the next one, Sungchan.”
“Bye, Y/N.”
“Pleasepleaseplease pick up…” You muttered to your ceiling as you paced around your living room, listening to the phone ring way too many times for comfort. It went to voicemail, and you swore as it beeped through for you to leave a message. “Fuck—Uh, hey, Sungchan. If you’re listening to this within like five minutes of me calling, please call me back. Long story short, it’s a funeral. Uhm, let me know if you can come. Thanks.”
You hung up and debated immediately calling him again, just in case. Before you could click the call button, though, your screen was overtaken with an incoming call from him. You let out a breath of relief, immediately picking up.
“Oh, Sungchan, thank God,” you groaned.
“Y/N, hey, are you alright?” His voice was gentle but obviously out of breath.
“Yeah, sorry if my voicemail was freaky. I found out last-minute that my mom is making me go to the funeral for her great-uncle twice removed or something that I’ve never met. I totally get if you don’t want to come, but—”
“I’ll come. I know how they are,” he assured you. “I can be at your place in five.”
“Oh, you are a lifesaver, I love you, thank you!” You gushed, hanging up the phone.
“You’re going to be just fine, Y/N,” Sungchan reassured you, squeezing your shoulder before dropping his hand back down to the small of your back as you approached the house that your mom had given you the address to.
“I know,” you breathed out, forcing a smile as you looked up at him. “Because I’ve got you here.”
You didn’t even know whose house this was, but the front door was unlocked, and many cars were parked along the streetfront. People donned in black were milling around inside, a constant, hushed din throughout the house as soon as you entered. You looked around for your mom, needing to let her know that you’d arrived.
“Y/N!” A booming voice called out your name as you turned from the foyer into the sitting room, and you tried not to wince visually.
Spinning around to greet the middle-aged man who had said your name, you gave him a canned smile and as fleeting of a hug as you could as he already had his arms out for one. “Hi, Uncle.”
“Have you gotten even bigger since the last time I saw you?” He laughed, pinching your cheek.
You turned your head away from him uncomfortably. “That was when I was middle school, I think. I have gotten taller, yes.”
“That’s not what I—”
“Jung Sungchan, I don’t think we’ve met, sir,” Sungchan firmly put himself between you and the uncle, offering his hand out.
The older man shook it, looking Sungchan up and down with an appraising eye. “No, I don’t believe we have. I’m Y/N’s mother’s cousin. You’re…?”
“Y/N’s boyfriend,” he confirmed authoritatively.
“Ah, really?” The uncle’s eyes practically sparkled. He looked around, waving someone over. “Jooeun! Come, meet Y/N’s boyfriend!”
A woman maybe five or so years older than you joined him, draping herself over his arm, her sharp gaze on where you held onto the crook of Sungchan’s elbow. The uncle continued introductions, “Jooie, dear, this is little Y/N’s boyfriend, uh, something Jungchan—”
“Jung Sungchan,” he swiftly corrected him, flashing a polite smile to the woman as well.
Jooeun wasn’t familiar to you whatsoever, she was definitely younger than you remember the uncle’s wife being when you last saw him over a decade ago now. New wife, you surmised.
“Wow…” She nodded, not saying anything else after trailing off.
“There you are, Y/N!” The familiar voice of your mother appeared at your side, obviously flustered as she hugged you just to lean in to say through gritted teeth, “You are late, young lady.”
“Hi, Mom,” you forced a smile in return, ending the disquieting hug as soon as possible.
“Oh, Sungchan!” She threw her arms around him next, her joy genuine this time.
“Hi, Ms. Y/L/N,” he robotically leaned down to hug her back. “I apologize for our tardiness, that was entirely my fault. I was late picking Y/N up and—”
“Oh, don’t worry about it,” she waved off his apology, patting his cheek with her hand that wasn’t holding a glass of wine. “The man’s dead, he’s not going anywhere.”
Sungchan smoothly removed himself from her grasp and wrapped his arm around you again. “Of course. Thank you. And I’m sorry for your loss.”
“So sweet, as always,” she laughed fondly. Turning to the other relatives, she explained, “Sungchan is one of the few things my daughter’s done right, I swear. I don’t know why he sticks around, honestly!”
“Excuse me—ladies’ room,” you mumbled under the laughter that had erupted from the entire circle (save for Sungchan), jerking yourself out of his warm grasp and into the crowd. You could feel bile rising in your throat as you searched blindly for a bathroom.
Slamming the bathroom door shut behind you in a far corner of the house, you tilted your head back as you took deep breaths, trying to keep your tears at bay. You didn’t even know the guy who died, crying at his wake would be fucking weird. Not to mention your mom would just make another snide comment about you being sensitive as always if she saw you like this. The more you thought about it, the harder it was to hold them back.
Once you’d somewhat composed yourself again, taking a tissue to dab at the corner of your eyes, you fanned your face, convincing yourself that your eyes weren’t that red, and unlocked the door. The house was eerily quiet, however, quieter than when you’d entered the bathroom, even accounting for the isolated corner that you were in. Mourners eyed you rather obviously as you walked by, whispering among themselves. Your skin prickled uncomfortably under their gazes.
Before you arrived at the front room that you’d left everyone else at, Sungchan found you, his head easy to spot over the crowd. He caught your elbow in a gentle grasp, ushering you in the direction you had just come from.
“Let’s step outside for a second,” he murmured to you, pushing the back door open.
The chill of winter was still present in the air as snowflakes had begun falling while you were inside. He immediately slipped his suit jacket off, draping it over your shoulders.
“What’s going on?” You asked him after the door had closed behind the two of you, watching as he started pacing in front of you.
“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he sighed. “She’s always like that, isn’t she?”
“I’m sorry, she’s usually better in front of people, especially you; she just had too much to drink I think—”
“No, God, why are you apologizing for her being awful to you?” He ran a hand through his hair, clearly exasperated. “I’m sorry, I should’ve seen that sooner. It shouldn’t have had to happen right in front of my face for me to know. God, it was always right there, if I had just opened my stupid fucking eyes. I am so sorry.”
You dug your teeth out of your bottom lip, inhaling shakily. “I’m sorry—”
“You don’t need to apologize for her. She should be apologizing to you. They all should.”
“No, I’m apologizing for me. I… didn’t tell the whole truth when I broke up with you. I did need space, but I didn’t tell you why.” Your tears were freezing cold as they fell down your cheeks, but you didn’t bother wiping them. Your words finally paused Sungchan’s angry pacing, and he slowed to a stop to listen to you. “Imagine the best part of you being somebody else… I didn’t want my family’s expectations to make me hate you. I needed to… figure out how I felt about myself. But after, I couldn’t even tell them that we broke up. Because I-I didn’t want to disappoint them again, make them hate me even more for taking away the only part of me they liked: you.”
“Oh, Y/N…” He breathed out, face contorting in pain. “I’m sorry, for whatever I did that made you feel like you couldn’t tell me this before.”
“You were just trying to impress your girlfriend’s family and diffuse the tension, it’s understandable,” you sniffed, dabbing at your eyes with the sleeves of your sweater.
“No, I should’ve been defending you, on your side one hundred percent. I was your boyfriend, not theirs.”
“Can—” You pulled the suit jacket tighter around you as a gust of wind blew in snowflakes under the awning you were standing beneath. “I think I’d like to go home.”
“Yeah, let’s go.” Sungchan nodded in the direction of the side gate for the two of you to make a stealthy exit.
The back door opened then, and you didn’t even need to turn around to know who it was.
“Y/N! There you are!” Your mother was accompanied by the heating from inside the house continuously seeping out as she stood in the open doorway. “Brr! It’s cold. Get back in here and give Sungchan his coat back, sweetie, the poor dear has got to be freezing to death!”
“I gave it to her, and she’s keeping it,” Sungchan replied firmly, pointedly flipping up the collar of the jacket to protect your neck against the wind. “Thank the host for us, we’re leaving now.”
“Now?! But you just—”
“Now. Goodbye.” He wrapped his arm around your shoulders, ushering you away from her and towards the gate again.
“Y/N, I can’t believe you’re so ungrateful that you’re making Sungchan—” She had descended the short step from the house to the porch to grab your arm and try to halt your leaving.
Sungchan took her hand and removed it from your wrist, stepping in front of you and fully concealing you from her. “Apparently I wasn’t clear enough earlier. You’re the ungrateful one. You have a daughter who is kind enough to put up with your bullshit—Constantly dragging her out to places last minute and humiliating her in front of people to make yourself feel better. You should be ashamed to call yourself a parent. Honestly, I can’t believe that someone so kind, so incredibly down-to-Earth and considerate of others was raised by someone as cruel as you. So yes, we will be going, and I don’t want you to say another word to her while we do.”
He once again wrapped his arm around you, hurrying through the freshly fallen snow. Shoving the gate open, he continued marching you on down the street away from that house until the two of you were able to finally hail a taxi. Sungchan opened the door and guided you in first, and then firmly shut it behind you, giving your apartment address to the driver. He brushed the snowflakes from your hair and shoulders with rough but attentive hands, and you sat patiently as he did so. His entire face was red, and you weren’t sure if it was from the cold or not, as a vein bulged out on his forehead that usually wasn’t there.
“Thank you, Sungchan,” you muttered, scooting over until your sides were pressed together, then took one of his hands, lacing your fingers with his.
He squeezed your hand tightly, patting the back of it with his other hand. “I’ll do it again. As many times as you want me to, as many times as I have to.”
At your front door, Sungchan was still holding your hand as you approached with your key in your other hand. You turned to him hopefully, “Do you want to stay for dinner? We can watch a movie or something…”
“Of course. Whatever you want, Y/N,” he agreed.
Your apartment of course didn’t have pictures of you and Sungchan, you had moved in after the two of you broke up. He’d only caught glimpses of the inside the couple times he’d picked you up for your cousin’s wedding and the funeral today since then—this was the first time he was actually entering, and looked around with interest as he followed you towards your room.
“Cute place,” he commented.
“Thanks.” You rifled through your drawers to grab a couple specific items of clothing that you knew were deep in there. “Here.”
He looked down at the pair of sweatpants and graphic t-shirt you’d handed him, arching an eyebrow at you. “I thought you’d lost these…?”
“I meant to give them back,” you insisted half-heartedly.
“Really? When?”
“When they stopped being comfy…”
He laughed, landing a large hand on your head to pat your hair affectionately. “Oh, I’m sure.”
“What do you want to watch?” You asked, putting Sungchan’s plate of food on your coffee table and picking up the remote to turn the TV on. “Oh! I saw this documentary about yokai the other day that I think you’d like!”
“Really? Did you stay awake for the whole thing this time?” Sungchan teased as you opened the app on your TV.
“No, I didn’t watch because I thought you—” You cut yourself off. “I found something else. Do you want to watch it?”
“Sounds interesting,” he said, taking a big bite of his food. “Pull it up, if you think you can stay awake.”
“You know I like to fall asleep to documentaries on purpose because the narrators’ voices are relaxing,” you huffed. As you started searching it up, something occurred to you, and you turned to Sungchan with a thoughtful frown on your face. “Hey, why were you ready for a funeral so quick anyway?”
He pushed around some of his food with his utensil, not meeting your eyes. “Mm, Taro dragged me out on this double date thing…”
“Oh.”
He shrugged, then rubbed your back, letting his hand rest there. “I’m glad I bailed. Nowhere else I’d rather be. Honest.”
You leaned into his side, resting your head on his shoulder. “Thank you, Channie. There’s no one else I would’ve wanted with me today. Really.”
“This is us now, remember? Just weddings and funerals.”
“And the occasional sleepover,” you mused, clicking play on the documentary.
“And the occasional sleepover,” he echoed, pulling you closer and resting his head on yours.
That night, the two of you winded down after some very interesting documentaries—with you only beginning to nod off on Sungchan’s shoulder towards the end of the second one—working in quiet symbiosis to clean the dishes and tidy up. When you saw Sungchan start heading towards the couch, you felt a pull in your gut. Then, before you could think it through, the words were tumbling out of your mouth, something about how your couch was way too small for him to sleep comfortably. And after a beat of hesitation, of giving you time to backpedal if you wanted, he was following you down the hall towards your room.
The empty space between you felt insurmountable after you settled under the covers, like there was a whole ocean there instead of your duvet. You didn’t go to sleep wrapped up in Sungchan’s arms, or with your head in the crook of his neck, or with his hand gently carding through your hair like you used to. But as you closed your eyes and rolled onto your side away from him, trying to grasp at the thing that was poking out of your heart so you could finally pull it out, you at least got to go to sleep listening to his even breaths. And for right now, that meant everything.
“Do you think…” You handed Sungchan his cup of coffee in the morning, trying not to ruminate too much about how cute he looked with his bedhead. “Do you think we’ll ever…?”
He looked at you with an eyebrow raised as he slowly lifted the mug to his mouth and took a sip, then lowered it back down the counter. “Ever…?”
You pulled at the sleeves of your hoodie anxiously. “You know, get back together?”
He sighed, rubbing his eye with the heel of his palm. “Y/N…”
“I’m sorry, that was—”
“No, no, it’s fine,” he reassured you, taking another sip. “I just… Don’t you get it?”
“Get what?”
“I’m just waiting on you. To be ready, finally figure out how you feel about yourself. Until you want me back in your space again.”
“But I thought you were on a double date yesterday?”
“We hadn’t even gotten to the restaurant when you called. I didn’t know it was a date until Shotaro tried wrestling my phone from me when he saw it was you. That’s why I missed your call in the first place, by the way.”
Hot tears pricked at your eyes, but you couldn’t even pinpoint why you were crying this time. Sungchan stood up from the chair he had been sitting in at your kitchen table, crossing your kitchen in one long stride to wrap his arms around you and bring you into his chest. You buried your face in his shirt as you tried to get a handle on even a single thing you were thinking or feeling. He stroked the back of your head with a large hand, encouraging you to breathe. You wiped your eyes and looked up at Sungchan. His image wavered in your watery vision, but you could just make out that his eyes were teary, too. Your gaze flicked down to his mouth, swept up in being this close to him again, overwhelmed at how sweet he was, how perfect he was. Apparently reading your mind, he brushed some hair away from your face before leaning down to drop a fleeting kiss to your forehead.
He stepped back with a bittersweet smile pulling at his lips. “So that’s how you felt then.”
“I’m sorry,” you blubbered. “I’m not-I’m—”
“It’s okay,” he said quietly. “Take all the time you need.”
[jung yusung: attached image]
You blinked several times at the text notification that had just popped up at the top of your phone screen. Then it was followed by another.
[jung yusung: We didn’t have your address, so I’m just making sure you had this]
It was a wedding invite, for Sungchan’s brother’s wedding next month. You did technically still have it on your phone calendar, leftover from when you’d saved the date way back when it was announced while you were still dating Sungchan. As far as Yusung should be concerned, to your understanding, your address should be Sungchan’s address, and he already sent your invite months ago.
You dragging Sungchan to a distant cousin’s wedding was one thing, but Sungchan and his brother were quite close, and you had also become good friends with him and his fiancée in the time that you and Sungchan dated. It just felt wrong to lie to them.
Right as you had started typing your explanation to him, another text came through.
[jung yusung: Sungchan told us yesterday that you two broke up. We want you there because you’re family either way]
You immediately called Sungchan. It rang a few times before he picked up.
“Y/N?” His tone was clearly worried.
“Hey, Sungchan,” you smiled half-heartedly despite the fact that he couldn’t see it.
“Hey,” he replied, relieved presumably at the fact that it didn’t sound like you were actively crying. You imagined that he was smiling a little bit as well. “How are you?”
“I’m alright. How about you?”
“Good. Just uh, leaving a fitting, actually.”
“For your brother’s wedding?”
“Yeah, it’s coming up fast.”
“Next month.”
“Oh, you remember.”
“Actually, Sungchan, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about—”
“I’m glad you called, I need to tell you—”
“Me first?” You requested.
“Okay.”
“Why did you tell your family that we broke up?”
“You know.” He paused. “Uhm, because we did?”
Fair. “Yeah, but why now?”
He let out a deep sigh. “Ahh… I didn’t tell them at first, because I kind of didn’t want to believe it, and then I was ashamed. That I couldn’t keep the best thing that ever happened to me. Like, you said it wasn’t my fault, and I believed you, but I felt like if I told them, it would still look like that. That I failed somehow. I just didn’t want to deal with that. But after the last funeral, that whole thing with your mom… I couldn’t keep being selfish like that. Especially with Yusung and Hyesoo’s wedding coming up, they’d be expecting you and me there as a couple. It wouldn’t have been fair to you.”
“Thanks.”
“How do you know I finally told them?”
“Yusung told me,” you admitted, biting your cheek. “That’s why I’m calling. He personally re-invited me to the wedding, even though we’re not together. I wanted to talk to you about it, though. If it’s going to be weird for you, I won’t go.”
“No, Y/N,” he immediately replied. “I know you’re friends with Yusung and Hyesoo. They miss you and want you there, too.”
“You’re sure?”
“Absolutely. Weddings and funerals, right?”
“Right,” you confirmed.
“I’m going to get there early and have groomsman stuff to do, but uh, I’ll have Taro pick you up, okay?”
“Sounds good.”
“Great.”
Today was Yusung and Hyesoo’s wedding, and you were fixing your hair for maybe the fiftieth time in the bathroom mirror when your doorbell rang, followed by a series of peppy knocks. Rushing to grab your phone and purse, you opened it to greet your friend on the other side with a breathless smile.
“Taro, hi,” you hugged him. Shotaro had been the one to introduce you and Sungchan in the first place, a mutual friend, though you knew he and Sungchan were friends for years before you ever met.
“Hey, Y/N,” Shotaro squeezed you back. “How you been?”
“Oh, good.” You shuffled out and locked your front door behind you. “How about you?”
“Same old.” He shrugged, grinned, and spun his keys around his finger. “Ready to go?”
“Yep!”
The ceremony hadn’t started yet, people were still milling around, chatting, and finding seats. Taking your seats to one side of the aisle, you anxiously smoothed over your clothes as you tried not to feel like you were intruding. Yusung had personally invited you despite everything. You were here to support your friends.
“Relax, Y/N,” Taro had apparently sensed your nerves, flashing you another smile. “You’re not the one getting married.”
“I know, I know,” you laughed, flexing your fingers in your lap to try to get out some of the nervous tension. “Thank you, by the way.”
“For anything specific, or…?”
“Taking Sungchan on that double date. Or, at least trying to.” At your friend’s skeptical look, you added, “Really, I didn’t want him to stare at a wall the whole time or something. I wanted him to keep being him.”
“I did have to trick him, he wouldn’t have said yes if he knew it was a date,” he informed you with a sigh.
“I did hear about that…”
“I don’t know your whole situation, and you don’t have to tell me. I’m sure you needed the space,” he lowered his voice and scooted in towards you as to not broadcast your conversation to every other person sitting around you. “But… Sungchan isn’t the same as before. He’s never going to be the same again. Whether or not you two get back together, he can’t just go back to how he was. And I don’t think he wants to.”
“I feel the same way,” you admitted, glancing over to where Sungchan and the other groomsmen were waiting at the end of the aisle. He caught your gaze, and his features were immediately overtaken by a big smile. You smiled and lifted your hand in a small wave back. “Loving Sungchan and being loved by him, it’s the kind of thing that changes you.”
“I didn’t take him on that date because I hate you or think that you’re not good together.”
“I didn’t think you did.” You tilted your head curiously. “So why did you?”
“Because Sungchan’s fatal flaw when it comes to you is that he wants you to be happy, no matter the detriment to him or to you.” He shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest. “From what he’s told me, I don’t think you guys should’ve even broken up in the first place. He didn’t put up a fight at all, did he?”
“No, he was really understanding.”
“Idiots. The both of you. Him, for not trying to get you to talk about it first, and you for thinking he would just be the same old Sungchan like nothing happened.” He scoffed. “I mean, do you even know him?”
You took his seemingly harsh words in stride, knowing that your usually bright and cheery friend didn’t get this upset unless he really cared. “You took him on that date, and tried to take his phone so he couldn’t pick up my phone to… force him into fighting for our relationship?”
“Giving me a bit too much credit there, maybe,” Shotaro let out a chuckle. “It’s like you said. He was stuck, waiting around for you. I wanted him to do something. Either move on, or go get you back.”
Your eyes strayed to Sungchan again, fixing his tie and adjusting the finer points of his suit. Another groomsman said something to him, to which he laughed, and you felt your heart lurch.
The ceremony was incredible. You felt yourself tearing up a little with how happy you were for your friends. They shared their first kiss, and giddily half-ran back down the aisle. The rest of the wedding party filed out after them, and you caught Sungchan’s eye again then, smiling and waving. He waved back, absolutely beaming.
At the reception, there were no assigned seats save for the wedding party’s table, so you and Shotaro ended up at a table of people you learned to be college friends of the couple. You sat through the various toasts, including Sungchan’s, and were finally left to eat and chat in peace.
“Y/N!” A hand gently rested on your shoulder, and you wiped at your mouth before turning around. It was Sungchan’s mother, and you eagerly greeted her as she bent down to hug you. “Oh, I thought that was you.”
“Hi, yes. How are you?” You accepted the hug from her husband as well.
“We’re well.” She still looked absolutely stupefied, like she couldn’t believe that you were real. “Both boys said you were coming, but still…”
“Yusung and Hyesoo invited me,” you smiled awkwardly. “Again…”
“I’m glad to see you, sweetheart,” she sighed wistfully, patting your cheek, then turned to your friend. “And you too, Taro.”
“I thought I was invisible for a second!” He huffed in feigned exasperation, standing up to give both parents hugs, making everyone laugh.
“Our third son could wait for a moment,” Mr. Jung teased back.
“Forgotten middle child as always,” he tsked and shook his head.
As they moved to chat with the other guests at your table, Shotaro nudged your arm and nodded towards the wedding party table, which was relatively vacant as many were off mingling. “Do you want to go give our congrats to the bride and groom?”
“Sure, yeah.” You nodded, accepting his hand up.
Approaching the table, you saw it disappointingly devoid of Sungchan, but still beamed at your friends as you arrived.
“Y/N! Shotaro!” Hyesoo squealed and got to her feet to wrap the both of you in tight hugs. “Hi!”
“Congrats!” You laughed and hugged her back, careful to avoid bumping the tiara/veil on her head. “How does it feel?”
“Awesome,” Yusung gushed, hugging you next once his wife had let you go. “How are you doing, Y/N?”
“I’m good, really,” you assured him. “Thank you.”
“My brother’s around here somewhere—” He got on his tiptoes to try to peer around the venue.
“Don’t worry about our problems. Today’s your wedding, seriously,” you waved him off with a laugh, trying to pull him back down to flat feet. “You don’t have to be big brother for one day.”
“Can’t, sorry. No off switch.”
You shook your head, despite your smile, “I know, I know.”
After a bit more chit chatting about their wedding—the venue, the food, Hyesoo’s dress, the decorations, a debacle with the florist—you and Shotaro excused yourself to let the next guests that were hanging around nearby have a chance to talk to the couple. It was then that Sungchan finally found the two of you, having shed his suit jacket at some point as he loosened his tie and fanned himself with his dress shirt.
“Hey, guys, are you having a good time?” He asked, clearly out of breath.
“Yeah, man, are you?” Shotaro laughed incredulously.
“You look like you’re about to have a stroke, Channie,” you pressed the back of your fingers to his pink cheek, furrowing your brow when you felt how warm he was. Grabbing his arm, you pulled him over to the drinks table. “When was the last time you drank water?”
“This morning? Maybe?” He scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. “Definitely at the rehearsal dinner. Last night.”
You grabbed a cup and filled it up from the ice-cold jug clearly label ‘water’ in a fancy cursive font. Pushing it into his hand, you said sternly, “Drink some. Now.”
He gulped down the first cup obediently, and you immediately refilled it before handing it back to him. “Thanks, Y/N.”
“Was the whole building about to collapse or something?” Shotaro asked. “You looked freaked.”
“No, just felt like it,” he chuckled, taking another long swig of water. “But everything’s fine now.”
“Good, I’m glad.” You squeezed his arm.
“I’m uh—I’m going to go use the bathroom,” your friend announced loudly. “Then maybe talk to some people. For a long time.”
“Oh, really subtle, Taro,” Sungchan snorted.
“As a freight train,” you agreed, watching him click his tongue, snap his fingers at the both of you, and saunter off.
“Thank you for coming,” Sungchan said. “Really, you—It’s good to see you again.”
“I’m glad I came,” you smiled up at him, fixing his rumpled collar for him. “You looked good up there, Channie.”
“The wonders that a tailored suit will do.”
“I can’t believe that you have two suits now.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s called character development?”
You laughed, maybe harder than his joke warranted, but you couldn’t help the bubbly feeling in your chest from being back around Sungchan again. You hadn’t felt this happy since the last time you were with him.
He had a fond smile on his face as he watched you. “You look beautiful, by the way.”
“Oh, thank you.” You messed with your own outfit bashfully.
“If I can say that…?”
“Yes, Sungchan, you can compliment me,” you laughed, pushing on his shoulder.
He let himself be jostled a little bit as he grinned at you. “Just making sure.”
Still with a tug at the corner of your mouth, you caught his eye, and slipped your hand into his.
“It’s your brother’s wedding, and you seem stressed enough,” you breathed out hesitantly. “We obviously don’t have to talk today. But I’m ready.”
For a stomach-dropping second, he froze. Then his hand was tightening around yours and he was pulling you away from the drinks table, through the crowd, out the back door of the room, and down the halls at a dizzying pace that you could barely keep up with. You didn’t know where you were until the cool nighttime air hit your skin. Stars dotted the inky sky, and it took you a few moments after your eyes had adjusted to the darkness to realize that you were back at the courtyard where the outdoor ceremony had taken place, nothing but the arch of flowers left.
Each of you just looked at the other for a few silent moments. You gulped, the sound comically loud in your ears. You got the two of you into this mess, it was only right that you should go first.
“I-I’m so sorry, Channie,” you began, clasping his hand desperately. “I did let my family get to me, and instead of talking to you, I ran away from you. I’m sorry.”
“I forgive you. And…” He grabbed your other hand too. “I’m sorry I just let things pass me by. Your family treating you like that, our relationship. Me not doing anything because I didn’t want to fight… that wasn’t fair to either of us.”
“I forgive you, too,” you sniffled, feeling the tears rising up faster than you could stop them.
“So, you’re really ready to try for more than just wedding and funerals?”
“Absolutely,” you smiled and wiped at your eyes. “We can’t really attend anything hosted by my family anymore, so we need some new date ideas anyway.”
“Wait what?”
“After the last funeral, you and I are sort of banned from all future Y/L/N family events until we apologize. Per my mother,” you admitted.
Sungchan’s eyes widened. “Y/N, oh shit, I’m so—”
“Don’t. They don’t deserve an apology from either of us,” you reassured him, cupping his cheek. “I missed you so bad, Sungchan.”
He wrapped his arms around you, holding you tight to him as he buried his face in your neck. “God, I missed you too, baby.”
You hugged him back, feeling the painful knots that had been ensnared around your chest for months now unravel.
“Do-Do you think we should go back in?” You murmured.
“Probably…” He sighed, not loosening his grip on you. “We probably missed their first dance.”
A crack of thunder made you jump out of your skin, and you felt Sungchan startle in your arms as well. You looked up at the sky, putting a hand over your heart as you could feel your heartbeat racing, “Fuck, that scared the hell out of me.”
The words were barely out of your mouth when a drop of water hit your arm. Then another. Then it was absolutely pouring, and both you and Sungchan were soaked in seconds, before you could even head for shelter. You looked at each other is disbelief.
“Well… shit,” you sputtered out a chuckle, looking down at your drenched clothes.
“I think we’d be a slipping hazard on the dance floor at this point,” Sungchan laughed, pushing his wet hair from his face as he looked up into the rain. “Kind of feels nice, though.”
“Hm.”
You threw yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his neck. He managed to catch you, letting out a chuckle as he stumbled back a step. The sounds of the rain hitting the stones underfoot filled your ears as he enveloped you in his warm arms. Sungchan began to sway the two of you to a simple beat, humming under his breath as he rested his cheek on your hair.
“Channie?”
“Baby?”
You looked up at him, cupping his cheek. Your eyes followed a drop of water as it ran down his nose and dripped off. Sungchan covered your palm with his before leaning down and pressing your lips together. You grabbed his tie to pull him even closer as his other hand settled on your lower back, fingertips pressing you into him.
“Shh,” Sungchan tried to quiet your laughs, before immediately giggling himself.
The rain had eventually let up, but the two of you were unfortunately still quite damp by the time you finally reentered the venue. You had wrung out what water you could to avoid dripping all over the place, but it was quite obvious where you two had been.
“You shush!” You hissed back, pinching his arm that you were holding.
“I just need to get my phone and my keys and my jacket, and your purse, and we can go,” he reiterated the plan. “I might have a couple towels in my car, so you don’t have to sit on a wet seat.”
The upbeat music had gotten louder the nearer you were to the main room, and the two of you stopped at the entrance to look around. A few other guests had already left, you could tell, and most were congregated on the dance floor, engrossed among themselves.
“Wait here,” Sungchan whispered, squeezing your hand before taking off.
You hung back at the entrance, trying to make yourself as invisible as possible and avoiding anybody’s gaze.
“Oh my god, Y/N!” Hyesoo had appeared seemingly out of nowhere, unaccompanied by her husband or anybody else. She gasped as she took in your drenched appearance. “What happened?”
“Nothing, just stepped outside for a second and got stuck in the rain,” you tried to assuage her concerns. “I’m going to head out though, don’t want to drip all over the place, you know?”
“Oh, you poor thing.” She tried to usher you down the hall. “Here, we have stuff at the bridal suite. Where was Sungchan? Or Shotaro? Why did they leave you alone?”
You tried to politely decline and stay put. “It’s fine, Hyesoo, really. Thank you, but it’s late. I was going to head out soon anyway.”
A familiar laugh came from behind you, and both you and Hyesoo turned to look. It was Shotaro, toting the similarly damp Sungchan with him. Sungchan had his suit jacket, phone and keys in one hand, and in the other, which Shotaro had the wrist of, was your purse. Shotaro must have been back at your table and caught him when he went to retrieve it for you.
“Knew it,” Shotaro was still laughing. “Fuckin’ knew it.”
Hyesoo looked between you and Sungchan, her expression changing from that of worry and pity to a knowing smile. She didn’t outright laugh like your other friend, simply letting go of your elbow and stepping back next to Shotaro. “Gotcha. Thank you for coming, Y/N, Sungchan.”
“Congrats again,” you squeezed your friend’s hand. “Give Yusung my best too.”
“I will be telling Yusung. For sure,” she giggled.
“Bye, Hyesoo,” Sungchan shook his head, but nevertheless pecked his sister-in-law on the cheek. “Tell Yusung we said bye.”
“See you, Taro!” You waved to him over your shoulder as Sungchan had already started escorting you out.
“Buh-bye!” Shotaro waved back zealously.
Sungchan fetched the promised two towels from his backseat, a little rumpled, and immediately tried to use both of them to dry you off. You took one from him to run over his hair and press against the wettest part of his clothes. He put his dry suit jacket on your shoulders and opened the passenger door for you, laying the towel down on the seat. You pulled him in for one more sweet kiss before getting in.
Sungchan got in with his own towel wrapped around his waist, then started the car. He immediately cranked up the heat, which you were grateful for, rubbing at the goosebumps on your skin.
“Hey,” he called for you softly.
You immediately looked over at him, finding him already gazing at you with the most tender smile on his face as he reached for your hand to hold it over the center console.
“I missed you.”
You kissed the back of his hand. “Thank you, Channie. For not giving up on me.”
“Thank you for not giving up on me either.” He kissed your forehead. “I love you.”
Synopsis: Caught in a toxic relationship with a manipulative and cheating boyfriend, you find solace in his enemy, Donghyuck. What starts as a vengeful fling turns into something more, and old feelings start to re-surface.
Genre: enemies with benefits?, childhood friends fallout, slice of life, angst, a lot of fighting, fluffy end, SMUT MDNI!!
Warnings: swearing, haechan getting into a fight, please guys don’t fight lol, helping clean up after a fight, jealousy, cunnilingus, blowjob, teasing, ex knowingly watching, no condom mentioned (stay safe yall), the pull out method (pls be safe), use of the words hot seed, cum, cock.
Word Count: 18.5k
A/N: Shout out to my lovely 💚anon for this one!! After some internet troubles, it’s finally out now :) Please let me know if there is anything funky about this (I write on google doc and copy and paste it on Tumblr and sometimes it fucks up the format or doubles paragraphs)
Marketing would be a fun class if it wasn't for the pain that decided to sit next to you every single class.
"You’re no better than your stupid boyfriend!" Donghyuck's voice cut through the air, his tone filled with disgust.
"Just shut up!" you snapped, feeling your cheeks flush with embarrassment. Why did he have to make things so awkward?
Donghyuck, or Haechan as he insisted on being called now, was someone you hadn't seen in years. You used to be close friends back in middle school, basically best friends. But then life happened, and you had to move away. You two were so young that you couldn't even stay in touch through social media. Only a promise that you two would find each other later on.
Now here you two were, reunited in college, but things were different. Haechan was no longer the sweet boy you once knew. He had turned into an arrogant jerk, who wouldn’t shut the fuck up.
Throughout the class, you couldn't shake off the discomfort of sitting next to Haechan, especially after his rude outburst. But beneath the cocky smirk on his face, you couldn't shake off the feeling that missed your friend that was long gone.
You would never tell anyone that you missed your childhood friend. Especially not any of your new friends, who also hate him. Chenle, Jeno, and Jaemin all would jump at the chance to wipe that little smirk off his face.
Your best friend Chaeryeong was the only one who knew about your past with him. She's the only person who you could never lie to. She always had your back, so you will always have hers. Even if she hates your boyfriend, Jay.
Well, most of your friends hate your boyfriend... Jaemin has even tried to talk you into breaking up with Jay. But “pussied out” as Chenle would say when he saw you were starting to tear up.
Jay was your first boyfriend. You learned how to deal with all of his flaws…Everyone has flaws so why is it so bad for him to have some…okay a lot of flaws. But he’s sweet to you!
You sat through the rest of the class with clenched fists, trying to focus on anything but the awkward tension that clung to the air between you and Haechan. His outburst still echoed in your mind, chewing at you. “You’re no better than your stupid boyfriend”.
Once everyone started to pack their bags, pulling you from your thoughts, you quickly gathered your things, hoping to escape before Haechan could throw another mocking remark your way. But, as expected, he would always be a little shit.
"Running away already?" Haechan’s voice was teasing, but there was something beneath it, something sharp that cut through the cocky tone. "Gonna run back to your little boyfriend."
You spun around, eyes glaring, ready to fire back, but then you caught Haechan's expression. It wasn’t that usual smug grin he always wore. Instead, there was a hint of vulnerability that almost made you stop. Almost. But just like that, it disappeared, and he was back to his old self, smirking like nothing had happened. Typical.
"Maybe you should shut up for once, Donghyuck," you shot back, emphasizing his old name, hoping it would sting.
His smirk faltered. It was subtle, barely noticeable, but you saw it. Something about calling him “Donghyuck” felt like a small victory. You were pretty sure the boy you once knew was entirely gone.
You turned on your heel and walked out of the classroom, leaving Haechan behind. As you made your way to the dining hall, you spotted Chenle and Jeno lounging on one of the benches, chatting. Seeing them made you feel more at ease. You needed a distraction. Anything to get your mind off that annoying encounter.
"Y/n! Over here!" Chenle called out, waving his arms dramatically. "Where's Jaemin?."
You shrugged, still shaken by your fight with Haechan. "I haven’t seen him. He’s probably sleeping through his class again."
"Or he got into another fight because of your boyfriend," Jeno added, his eyes holding a seriousness that made your stomach twist. You knew your friends didn’t like Jay, but you wished they could just let it go.
"Can we not do this today," you muttered, dropping your bag next to Chenle and sinking onto the bench. You didn’t have the energy to get into another debate about Jay right now.
Chenle nudged you playfully. "Come on, we’re just looking out for you. You deserve someone better than that guy."
"Yeah, someone who's not a total asshole," Jeno chimed in. "Like, seriously, what do you even see in him?"
You didn’t answer. You couldn’t. Instead, you stared off into the distance, your thoughts spiraling. It wasn’t just about Jay—it was everything. The awkwardness with Haechan, the tension with your friends, the pressure to hold everything together when you felt like you were starting to unravel.
“He’s sweet…” You trailed off, your words sounding weak even to yourself. Was Jay sweet? Or was that just the version of him you had convinced yourself to see?
Chenle raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. "Sweet? You’re joking, right? The same guy that has to approve your outfits when you go out."
You shot him a look, but he continued, persistent. "I’m serious, Y/n. There’s ‘sweet’ and then there’s whatever Jay’s doing to you. You deserve better."
Jeno, who had been scrolling through his phone, suddenly locked eyes with you. “You think this is what love’s supposed to feel like? Constant stress? Us having to break up fights Jaemin gets into because of Jay? You don’t look happy.”
That last comment stung more than you expected like an arrow hitting its mark. Were you happy? Or had you just grown used to the chaos?
Your silence was telling, and your friends exchanged worried glances. Chenle let out a dramatic sigh and pulled out his phone, probably ready to change the topic, when you heard the sound of footsteps approaching. You didn’t need to look up to know who it was.
“Hey, what’s up, guys?” Jaemin's voice was casual, but when he turned to you, his expression hardened a little bit. “Jay’s looking for you again, Y/n. He’s upset about something."
You felt your stomach drop. Of course, he was upset about something. Jay was always upset about something. And it was always your job to fix it, to calm him down, to make everything right.
Chenle clicked his tongue in disapproval. “See? You can’t even breathe without that guy hovering around. He’s suffocating you.”
Jaemin sat down next to you, his tone softer now. “We’re not trying to gang up on you, Y/n. But this… this isn’t normal. It’s not okay.”
You clenched your fists, feeling the weight of their words pressing down on you. You wanted to defend Jay, to tell them they didn’t understand him the way you did. But deep down, you couldn’t deny the truth of what they were saying.
“I’ll talk to him,” you muttered, standing up. You didn’t wait for their response as you walked away, feeling their eyes on your back. You knew they were worried, and maybe they had every right to be. But you couldn’t just walk away from Jay. You didn’t know how.
As you made your way toward the campus courtyard, your mind wandered back to the class with Haechan. You couldn’t shake the image of his face when you called him Donghyuck. But you couldn't let it affect you. He probably did it on purpose so you would overthink and feel bad.
Lost in thought, you almost didn’t notice when Jay appeared in front of you, his face twisted in frustration.
“Where the hell have you been?” he snapped, his voice low but harsh. “I’ve been calling you.”
Your stomach turned, and you immediately braced yourself for whatever fight was coming next. "I was in class. What’s wrong?"
Jay let out a sharp breath, running a hand through his hair. "You didn’t tell me you were sitting next to him again." He spoke with clear disapproval, his gaze burning into yours.
“Him?” It took a moment before you realized he meant Haechan. “Jay, it’s just class. The professor didn’t let us pick where we could sit.”
“That’s not the point, Y/n.” He stepped closer, his expression darkening. “I don’t trust that guy, and I don’t like you being around him.”
“Jay, it’s not like that—”
“It better not be,” he cut you off, his voice laced with an edge that made your skin crawl. “He’s a shitty person, he’s just trying to get to me.”
The words hung in the air. You knew Jay had a jealous streak, but this felt different—darker, more possessive. And for the first time, you felt a tinge of fear.
"I—I have to go," you said quickly, your heart pounding as you stepped back. You didn’t wait for Jay to respond. You couldn’t. Your feet moved on autopilot, moving away from him.
But as you hurried through the campus, a sinking feeling settled in your chest. You didn’t know where you were running to—only that you had to get away from yet another fight.
Choosing to buy some coffee, you push open the local café on campus. The familiar chime of the café door was a welcome sound, cutting through the fog of your jumbled thoughts. The smell of roasted coffee beans and fresh pastries welcomed you as you stepped inside. You spotted an empty table in the corner and made a beeline for it, craving to be away from everything. You ordered a simple iced latte, hoping the cool drink might calm you down.
As you waited for your coffee, you buried your face in your hands. Why did it always have to feel like this with Jay? Why did every conversation leave you feeling smaller, and more insecure about yourself? Your friends were right but you didn’t know what to do.
But what could you do? You couldn’t just walk away. You loved him… didn’t you?
Before you could spiral any further, the barista called your name, pulling you from your thoughts. You grabbed your coffee and took a seat, letting the ice clink against the cup as you swirled it absently.
The door to the café swung open again, noticing it was Haechan you hid your face with your hands. Not wanting to deal with him again.
He walked in, his eyes scanning the room before they landed on you. For a moment, he hesitated, then made his way over to your table.
“You’re in my spot” he stated, his tone sharp. You stared at him, unsure of what to say.
You hesitated for a moment, did you really want to start a fight right now? “I don’t see your name on it.”
Haechan slid into the seat across from you, leaning back in his chair as if trying to gauge your mood.
“I’ve never seen you here,” he started, running a hand through his hair. “What’s wrong?”
You blinked, caught off guard. This wasn’t the Haechan you were used to—the cocky, arrogant guy who seemed to enjoy making your life miserable. Where is the teasing?
“None of your business,” you muttered, staring into your coffee cup, avoiding his gaze. The last thing you wanted was to bare your soul to Haechan of all people. You didn’t need his pity, and you certainly didn’t need him to insert himself into your problems. He would use any information to torment Jay, which would just start an even bigger fight between you two.
But Haechan wasn’t easily deterred. “You don’t have to tell me, but I’m not an idiot. You look like a kicked puppy.”
There he goes, mocking you even at your worst. But he caught you off guard by how well he could read you. To most people, you probably look like a tired college student, normal. But for some reason, Haechan could tell there was something wrong.
You shook your head. “Why do you care, Haechan?”
He rolled his eyes, leaning forward on the table. “Maybe because it’s not fun to tease you when you’re already miserable.”
You flinched. His words struck deeper than you expected. Did it show that much? Did everyone see it—how exhausted you felt, how tightly you were hurt from trying to keep everything together? You opened your mouth to retort, but no words came out.
Haechan sighed, looking away for a moment before meeting your eyes again.
“Haechan.” The barista called out.
Haechan got up and grabbed his drink before asking something you couldn’t make out. You watched him as he left, not sparing you another glance.
You sighed out, of course, he doesn't care. He’s probably high on seeing you this miserable.
But before you could throw yourself another pity party, the cafe doors slam open and a concerned-looking Chaeryeong comes rushing in.
“Y/n!” Chaeryeong’s voice cut through the noise of the café as she rushed over to your table, her face a mix of concern and urgency. You barely had time to brace yourself before she slid into the chair across from you, eyes scanning your face for answers.
“What’s going on? Haechan just said you needed me.” Her tone was low but insistent, probably thinking this was a plan made up by Haechan, trying to get under your skin again.
You exhaled slowly, trying to gather your thoughts. “It’s… nothing. Just another argument with Jay.”
Chaeryeong frowned, her brows knitting together. "Another argument? Y/n, you’ve been having a lot of those lately."
You shook your head, trying to dismiss her concern. "It’s just a misunderstanding. He got upset about me sitting next to Haechan again. He thinks it’s some big deal, but it’s not."
"Jay seriously has issues if he’s getting worked up over something like that." Chaeryeong’s voice was firm, but there was a softness in her eyes like she was trying to tread carefully. "You know this isn’t normal, right?"
You looked down at your iced latte, feeling the familiar swirl of guilt and confusion rise. You loved Jay—at least, you thought you did. But lately, everything felt like a battle, and you were always on the losing side.
"It’s fine," you said weakly, though the words felt like they were collapsing in on themselves. "He’s just... protective."
Chaeryeong let out a sigh, her frustration barely concealed. "Y/n, there’s a difference between being protective and being controlling. I hate seeing you like this. It’s like you’re always walking on eggshells with him."
You didn’t respond, unable to meet her gaze. The weight of the conversation was suffocating, but you couldn’t deny the truth in her words. Jay’s jealousy had started to bleed into every part of your life, and it was exhausting.
After a moment of silence, Chaeryeong leaned forward, her voice softer. "You don’t have to keep defending him. I know you care about him, but... is he making you happy?"
That question lingered in the air. Was Jay making you happy? Or were you just holding on to the idea of what you thought love should be?
Before you could answer, Chaeryeong reached out and squeezed your hand. "You deserve better than this, Y/n. You deserve to be with someone who makes you feel safe, not stressed out all the time."
You swallowed hard, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill over. "Can we switch the topic, I don’t want to talk about this right now," you whispered.
Chaeryeong’s grip tightened on your hand. "You don’t have to figure it all out right now. Just know that you’re not alone, okay? I’m here for you."
You nodded, grateful for her support, but still feeling lost in the mess of your emotions. The tall barista came up to your table with a plate of red velvet cookies.
“Um, here you go….” He sat them down on the table in front of you.
“Wait! I didn’t pay for this.”
The barista gave you a small, almost shy smile. "Don't worry about it. They're already paid for." Before you could ask any more questions, he walked away, leaving you and Chaeryeong to exchange confused glances.
Chaeryeong raised an eyebrow, leaning closer to examine the cookies. "Who do you think...?"
You didn’t have to guess for long. So that’s what he was asking the barista. You blinked, processing the moment.
Chaeryeong noticed too, her eyes narrowing. "Did Haechan just... buy you cookies?"
You shrugged, feeling more confused than anything. "I guess?"
Chaeryeong leaned back, a mixture of amusement and suspicion crossing her face. "Weird, right? I thought he was a jerk."
"Yeah... he is," you muttered, still trying to piece together Haechan's sudden act of kindness. It didn’t fit with the person you’d been dealing with all semester.
But for right now, you weren’t going to overanalyze it. You had enough on your plate with Jay and the constant pressure you were under. Haechan's behavior would have to wait.
You broke the cookie in half and offered a piece to Chaeryeong, hoping to shift the focus back to something lighter. "Want some? Might as well not let them go to waste.
She accepted the piece with a small smile, though her gaze remained thoughtful.
"You know, maybe he’s not as bad as we thought. Or maybe he's just a confusing guy."
You let out a soft laugh, nodding in agreement. "That’s putting it lightly."
But as the sweetness of the cookie melted in your mouth, the door to the café swung open again, and for a moment, your heart jumped, fearing it might be Jay.
But instead, it was Chenle and Jaemin, both of them scanning the room until they spotted you and Chaeryeong.
"Hey, there you are," Chenle said, sliding into a seat next to Chaeryeong. Jaemin followed sitting in the seat next to you, giving you a concerned look. "Everything okay?"
You forced a smile, trying to shake off the heaviness of the conversation. "Yeah, I’m fine. Just... needed some space."
Chenle raised an eyebrow, clearly not convinced, but he didn’t push. Instead, he gave a playful nudge. "Well, we’re here now, so no more pity parties. Let’s get you out of this mess.”
Jaemin studied you for a moment before speaking. "We’re here for you, Y/n. Whatever you need." You nodded, feeling a small sense of relief.
“Ooo cookies!” Chenle grabbed one without asking.
“You even ordered yourself some of your favorite cookies…oh no this is bad” Jaemin continued, shaking his head with exaggerated seriousness. "Cookies are your comfort food."
Chenle, mid-bite, paused and raised his eyebrows.
"Wait, did something happen with Jay again?" His usual playful tone shifted slightly, concern creeping in as he glanced between you and Chaeryoung.
You sighed, feeling the weight of their questions. "It's nothing. Just... the usual stuff. He got upset about me sitting next to Haechan in class again."
Jaemin’s face hardened. "Y/n, that’s not nothing. He’s been doing this for a while now. Getting jealous and picking fights. It’s not normal."
Chenle, despite the cookie in his mouth, nodded vigorously. "Exactly! Why does it even matter where you sit in class? You’re not his property."
You glanced away, not wanting to meet their eyes. The conversation was heading in the same direction as before, and you felt that familiar knot of guilt tightening in your chest.
After a moment of silence, Chaeryoung spoke up, “She didn’t even buy these cookies…guess who did.”
Chenle blinked, pausing mid-chew as he looked between you and Chaeryoung.
"Wait, are you bragging about buying cookies for a heartbroken girl?" His voice was laced with teasing. She shook her head ‘no’ and Jaemin’s eyes narrowed in curiosity.
You hesitated, feeling a twinge of discomfort as you answered quietly, "Haechan."
Jaemin leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. "Haechan? He bought you cookies?" His tone was a mix of disbelief and a little bit of protectiveness.
Chenle stared at the cookie in his hand, then at you, then back at the cookie. "So, you’re telling me I’m eating Haechan’s cookies? They’re probably poisoned!"
"It’s not like I asked him to," you muttered, feeling the tension rising again. "He just… did."
Chaeryeong raised an eyebrow, a knowing look in her eyes. "He didn’t say much when he saw me outside of the cafe, just told me that Y/n needed me."
Jaemin’s frown deepened. "That’s weird. Since when does Haechan care about anyone but himself?"
You shrugged, still unsure of what to make of the gesture. "I don’t know. Maybe he’s just messing with me, trying to get under my skin."
Chaeryeong smirked. "Or maybe he’s trying to get you under him!"
You rolled your eyes. "Yeah right. He’s just... being Haechan, weird."
Chaeryeong’s energy shifted immediately, her smirk softening into a more playful grin as she leaned forward, practically buzzing with excitement. "Alright, enough of this! We need to get you out of here. You’ve been drowning in all this drama for too long.”
Chenle’s eyes lit up at the suggestion, already nodding in agreement. "Yes! A night out is exactly what you need. No Jay, no Haechan—just us having fun. There is a party at Mark’s place tomorrow night." He winked, clearly trying to lighten the mood.
Jaemin, though quieter, gave a nod of approval. "It could be good for you, Y/n. A break from everything."
You hesitated, a part of you wanted to curl up at home and avoid the world, but another part knew that maybe they were right. You needed a break from all the chaos.
"Alright, fine," you sighed, feeling the weight on your chest lighten just a little. "I’ll go to Mark’s party tomorrow."
Chaeryeong clapped her hands together, practically glowing with excitement. "Yes! It’s going to be so much fun, I promise! Just good vibes, and you’ll finally get a chance to relax."
Chenle grinned, "That’s the spirit! Plus, you know, it’s always a good time at Mark’s. Who knows, maybe you’ll meet someone new…"
Jaemin shot Chenle a look, silently warning him to tone it down, but Chenle just winked at you, clearly trying to keep things light.
You chuckled, feeling a small flicker of relief. "I’m not going to a party to meet someone, Chenle."
"Maybe not," Jaemin said with a small smile, "but at least you’ll be there with your friends, and that’s what matters."
The next evening, the air was buzzing with excitement as you stood in front of the mirror, eyeing the mixture of outfits Chaeryeong had scattered across your bed. She was currently looking through your closet, tossing out options as if she were styling a fashion shoot instead of just picking something for a party.
“You need something bold but effortless,” Chaeryeong declared, holding up a black, form-fitting dress before shaking her head and discarding it. “Something that says, ‘I’m here to have fun, not to impress.’ But, you know, still impressive.”
You laughed, sitting on the edge of your bed as you watched her being dramatic. "Chaeryeong, it’s just a party. I’m not trying to walk a runway."
Chenle, lounging in the corner of your room, raised an eyebrow. "No, but you’re going to Mark’s, and there’s a difference. You’ve gotta show up looking good.”
You groaned as Chaeryeong shot you a knowing look. “You don’t want to walk in looking anything less than your best. Trust me, it’ll help you feel more in control." She pulled out a green silk dress from your closet, holding it up against you. "This. It’s perfect."
You looked at the dress, hesitant. It was beautiful. "I don’t know… it’s kind of a lot."
"Exactly," Chaeryeong said with a grin. "You need a lot. Let’s remind everyone—including you—that you’re the main character tonight."
Chenle laughed, getting up from his spot. "You heard her. Tonight is your night to shine, Y/n."
Sighing, you finally stood up and took the dress from Chaeryeong’s hands. "Fine. Let’s do it."
An hour later, you were slipping on the last of your jewelry as you stared at your reflection in the mirror. The green dress hugged your curves in all the right ways, and the satin shimmered under the soft lighting of your room. Chaeryeong had helped style your hair, soft waves falling over your shoulders, and Chenle, surprisingly, had given his input on your makeup. A bold lip to contrast the simplicity of the rest of your look.
"Wow," you whispered, half in disbelief at how different you looked.
Chaeryeong stood beside you, grinning from ear to ear.
"Told you. You look amazing."
Chenle nodded, leaning in the doorway. "Everyone is gonna wish they were with you."
You rolled your eyes, but deep down, a part of you couldn’t help but wonder. Would they? Would Jay? Or would you finally not care?
With a final glance in the mirror, you grabbed your bag, feeling a rush of determination. Tonight was about you.
As you made your way downstairs, the sound of music and distant chatter already filled the air. Chenle and Chaeryeong followed close behind.
Chaeryeong linked her arm with yours as you stepped outside, the cool night air brushing against your skin. “Don’t let it get to you, Y/n. Just have fun tonight. Remember, we’re here to enjoy ourselves.”
You nodded, trying to push aside the lingering thoughts of Jay and Haechan, and all the drama that seemed to follow them like a shadow. Tonight wasn’t about them—it was about you.
The drive to Mark’s place was filled with lighthearted chatter, Chenle and Chaeryeong alternating between playful bickering and hyping you up for the night ahead. But the closer you got to the party, the more you felt the familiar nerves creeping in.
“We’re here!” Chaeryeong’s voice cut through your spiraling thoughts, and you blinked as the car pulled up to Mark’s house. Music thumped from inside, and the soft glow of lights poured from the windows, illuminating the big crowd already gathered outside.
You took a deep breath as the three of you stepped out of the car, Chenle offering you a quick thumbs-up for encouragement. “Remember, main character energy. Let’s go.”
As you approached the front door, Mark himself appeared, grinning as he waved you inside. “Y/n! You made it!”
He gave you a quick, welcoming hug before greeting Chaeryeong and Chenle. “The party’s just getting started. Drinks are in the kitchen, and the backyard is open if you want to chill.”
You thanked him and followed the crowd into the house, trying to shake off the remaining nerves. The music, laughter, and the buzz of conversation washed over you, helping to melt away some of your worries. Chaeryeong handed you a drink, her eyes already sparkling.
“Let’s go find somewhere to sit!” she said over the music, pulling you toward the living room, where a few familiar faces were already lounging.
But before you could get comfortable, your eyes caught a familiar figure leaning against the wall near the kitchen—Haechan.
He was chatting with someone, but his gaze shifted just as you entered the room. For a split second, your eyes locked, and there was a flicker of something in his expression, though you couldn’t quite read it.
“Focus on having fun,” Chaeryeong whispered in your ear, snapping you out of your daze.
You smiled at her, grateful for the reminder, and nodded. Tonight was about fun. About letting go.
Jaemin and Jeno moved to form a spot where you could sit between them. You settled down, feeling a wave of relief as the two of them immediately began chatting, creating a comfortable bubble around you. Jeno handed you a drink with a reassuring smile.
"Looking good, Y/n."
Jeno, always the more laid-back one, nudged your shoulder. "We’ll make sure you have a good time. No drama, no distractions."
You took a sip of your drink, nodding. Their presence was calming, a much-needed escape from the whirlwind of emotions you’d been feeling lately.
Chaeryeong and Chenle were already engrossed in a conversation across from you, laughing about something Chenle said, and for a brief moment, you allowed yourself to feel at ease.
Jaemin leaned in slightly, his voice low so only you could hear. "You look amazing tonight, by the way." He smiled.
You felt a warmth spread across your cheeks, and before you could respond, Jeno chimed in, as if reading the moment. "Jaemin’s right. That green dress is doing wonders."
You laughed, grateful for their compliments but not wanting to dwell on it too much. "Thanks, guys. I needed this.” You took a chug from your drink.
Jaemin smiled softly. "We’re always here for you, Y/n."
You nodded, then stood up, smoothing down the hem of your dress as you glanced around the room. The music thumped louder as more people began to fill the space, and for a moment, you just stood there, letting the beat pulse through you.
"Then let’s dance," you said, gesturing toward the group of people already dancing.
Jaemin grinned, standing up and offering you his hand. "Thought you’d never ask."
Jeno followed close behind, already moving to the rhythm of the music as you all made your way to the center of the room. The bass of the music vibrated through the floor, the lights flashing in time with the beat, casting colorful patterns on the crowd around you.
As soon as you hit the dance floor, the energy shifted. The three of you fell into the rhythm easily, laughing and letting the music take over. You spun around, arms raised, carefree.
"Now this is what I like to see from you," Jaemin said, leaning close so you could hear him over the music. You laughed, spinning around again, letting the moment take over.
Your heart skipped a beat when your gaze locked with Haechan from across the room. He stood near the edge of the dance floor, leaning against the wall with his usual confident smirk. His eyes were focused intently on you, watching your every move. For a moment, everything else faded—the music, the crowd, even Jaemin and Jeno’s presence
Haechan didn’t look away. Instead, his smirk deepened, almost like he knew something you didn’t, a silent challenge hanging between you.
Jaemin nudged your arm, breaking your concentration. "Hey, you good?"
You blinked, forcing a smile and nodding. "Yeah, I’m good!”
The spot where Haechan had been standing was now empty, leaving you momentarily confused.
Jaemin noticed your brief flicker of confusion. “Looking for someone?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
You shook your head quickly. "No, just... thought I saw something."
Before Jaemin could say more, Chenle swooped in, pulling you by the wrist and pulling you towards him and Chaeryeong. “Come on! No more standing around, let’s get moving!”
You let yourself be pulled into the crowd, trying to shake the image of Haechan from your mind.
Feeling a bit drained, you excused yourself from your friends and made your way to the kitchen in search of another drink. The party was packed, and the energy was starting to get overwhelming.
After a few moments of being bumped and nudged, you decided it was best to escape the chaos. With a sigh of relief, you slipped out to the backyard, hoping for a moment of peace away from the noise and crowd.
The cool night air greeted you as you stepped outside, the sounds of laughter and music fading into the background. The backyard was a welcome contrast to the chaotic energy inside. Strings of fairy lights hung above, casting a soft glow over the space and illuminating a few scattered chairs around a fire pit.
You walked toward the edge of the patio, leaning against the railing and taking a deep breath, letting the fresh air fill your lungs. The stars twinkled above like tiny diamonds, and for a moment, you lost yourself in their beauty, feeling a sense of calm wash over you.
As you took a sip of your drink, you heard the door open and someone rushed out. Turning you saw Haechan. He was searching the backyard until his eyes met yours and he sighed, walking over to you.
“What do you want?” You rolled your eyes, already knowing he wasn’t the best company.
“I know you don’t exactly like me” You scoffed as he put his hands up, telling you to wait, “But I hate cheaters, so I needed to tell you.”
You raised an eyebrow, skepticism written across your face. “Tell me what, exactly?”
Haechan leaned against the railing beside you, his expression serious, a stark contrast to the usual playful demeanor. “No, seriously. I just saw Jay go into a room with another girl.”
Your heart sank, the weight of his words crashing down. You took a moment to process what he was saying, anger and disbelief swirling within you.
“Are you sure? That sounds like something you would say to mess with me.”
“I get why you’d think that, but I wouldn’t lie about something like this,” Haechan replied, frustration creeping into his tone.
“I may not be your favorite person, but I wouldn’t do that. You deserve to know the truth.”
You swallowed hard, your grip tightening around your drink. The reality of the situation settled over you, and you could feel your heart racing.
“Which room?”
Haechan hesitated for a moment, his gaze steady. “I don’t think you want to go in there.”
A bitter laugh escaped your lips, the kind that felt hollow. “Just tell me which room.”
Haechan glanced at you, a flicker of empathy crossing his features. “Upstairs, the second one on the right.”
You put your cup down and started to make your way back into the party in search of the stairs.
“Are you sure about this?” Haechan, who you didn’t even notice was following, asked you.
You nodded and moved quickly, your heart racing as you made your way through the crowd. The lively music and laughter faded into the background, drowned out by the storm of thoughts in your head. The dim lights seemed to press in, making your thoughts feel even more stressed.
As you reached the stairs, you hesitated for a brief moment, the weight of what you were about to confront hitting you like a ton of bricks. But the image of Jay with another girl flashed in your mind, fueling your determination. You needed answers. You needed to reclaim your dignity.
Going up the stairs, you felt your breath quicken. Each step seemed to echo with the anxiety of what lay ahead. Reaching the second door on the right, you paused, taking a deep breath to steady yourself. You could hear muffled voices from inside, giggling mingling with the soft kissing.
Throwing open the door you felt the air leave your lungs in a rush, your heart dropping as the scene unfolded before you. Jay was on top of another woman, his hands tangled in her hair, their lips inches apart.
Time seemed to freeze as Jay’s eyes shot wide open, and the laughter from the girl faltered into a shocked silence.
“Y/n! I—” Jay stammered, scrambling to sit up, the realization of your presence crashing over him like a wave.
You didn’t let him finish. “What the hell is this?” Your voice trembled, a mix of anger and disbelief swirling within you. The hurt was too much, twisting your stomach into knots.
The girl, wide-eyed and uncomfortable, quickly shuffled away from Jay, her cheeks flushing a deep crimson. “I didn’t know—” she started, but you cut her off.
“Save it,” you said, directing your fury back at Jay.
“After everything I’ve done for you.”
Jay stood up fully now, his expression shifting from shock to guilt. “I didn’t mean for you to find out like this,” he began his voice low, almost pleading.
You turned your back towards him and rushed down the stairs. You could hear him following you. So you looked for any of your friends but couldn’t find them. Instead, your eyes connect with Haechans near the bottom of the stairs.
Rushing over to him you pull him down by his shirt and whisper “sorry” before pulling him into a heated kiss.
Haechan’s eyes widened in surprise, but he didn’t pull away. Instead, he responded, his hands finding your waist as he kissed you back with an urgency that matched your own. The chaos of the party faded into the background, the pounding music replaced by the sound of your racing heart.
But before it could get any farther, you were ripped away from Haechan by the sudden appearance of a familiar voice.
“What the hell are you doing?” Jay’s voice cut through the moment, sharp and accusatory. You turned to see him standing there, his expression a mix of disbelief and anger.
Haechan stepped back, his demeanor shifting instantly from passionate to defensive.
“Just what you were doing with that other girl,” he replied, his tone challenging. “Maybe you should have thought about that before you—”
“Don’t!” Jay interrupted, stepping toward you both.
“You have no right to act like the hero here. You don’t know what’s going on.”
“I know exactly what’s going on, so if you don’t mind we were kind of doing something”, Haechan shot back, his eyes narrowing as he stepped slightly in front of you, shielding you from Jay.
You could feel the tension in the air thickening. “Haechan, stop,” you said, placing a hand on his arm. You could see the fire in his eyes, but you didn’t want this to escalate any further.
Jay’s expression twisted with frustration. “You think you can just come in and play the knight in shining armor? She’s my fucking girlfriend!”
“And you think I care?” Haechan replied, crossing his arms defiantly. “You had your chance to treat her right, and you blew it.”
Jay shook his head, thinking about what to say next, but Jay was never good with his words so he stepped forward and swung.
Haechan barely had time to react. The punch landed squarely on his jaw, sending him stumbling back. You gasped, instinctively stepping between them, your heart racing at the sudden escalation.
“Jay, what the hell?!” you shouted, adrenaline rushing through you. “This is not how you handle things!”
Jay’s face was flushed with anger, his fists clenched at his sides. “He’s a fucking piece of shit!” he snapped, breathing heavily.
Haechan regained his composure and moved around you, delivering a swift punch to Jay's jaw. The impact echoed, and Jay staggered back, eyes wide with surprise.
As they started to throw punches back and forth, you didn’t know what to do. A group of people gathered around them.
You saw Jaemin and Jeno pushing through the crowd, their expressions a mix of alarm and confusion. “What the hell is going on?” Jaemin shouted, his voice rising above the commotion.
“Y/n, get out of the way!” Jeno called out as he reached for your arm, pulling you back. You didn’t want to move, didn’t want to feel powerless while the two of them fought over you like you were some trophy for their ego.
“Stop it!” you shouted again, trying to push through the gathering crowd, but your voice was drowned out by the sound of fists connecting and the murmurs of onlookers.
Jaemin managed to get closer, stepping between Jay and Haechan. As Jeno grabbed Jay from behind to stop him from throwing any more punches.
“Both of you, enough! This isn’t the way to handle it!”
Haechan, breathing heavily, stepped back, his fists still clenched. “He deserves this, Jaemin! He cheated on her!”
Jay looked furious, “This is all his fucking fault!” He spat at Haechan.
You could see his expression begin to harden again, that familiar mask of arrogance threatening to resurface. Without thinking, you reached for his hand, gripping it tightly as you attempted to pull him away from the chaos of the crowd.
Haechan looked momentarily shocked, his eyes widening at your sudden gesture, but he didn’t resist as you led him out into the cool evening air, away from the noise. As you stepped into the front yard, you pulled out your phone and ordered an Uber.
“What are you doing?” Haechan asked, his voice low, and filled with confusion. His hand was still in yours, but he made no move to pull away, his gaze locked on your face.
You hesitated, the words caught in your throat as the reality of the moment started to sink in. What were you doing?
“I needed to get out of there,” you admitted quietly, your grip loosening slightly, but you didn’t let go.
His eyes softened, just a little, the hardness from earlier fading as he studied you.
"Okay."
Haechan sat down on the curb of the road and gestured for you to sit down next to him.
You hesitated for a moment, then quietly sat beside him on the curb, the cool pavement grounding you.
“So, how are we going to get back at him?” you asked, your voice low but edged with determination.
Haechan turned toward you, eyes narrowing in surprise. “What?”
You met his gaze, a fire igniting within you. "Jay. How are we going to make him regret everything?"
Haechan blinked, momentarily caught off guard. He studied your face for a long second as if trying to gauge whether you were serious. Then, a slow, knowing smirk curled on his lips.
“Are you sure you’re ready to play that game?” he asked, voice dripping with amusement.
You held his gaze, feeling the weight of his question sink in. Was this really what you wanted? A part of you knew it was reckless, that using Haechan to get back at Jay could only make things worse.
“I need to hurt him,” you replied, your voice steadier than you felt. “If he wants to treat me like I’m nothing, then maybe it’s time I show him I don’t need him.”
Haechan's smirk deepened, a glint of something dangerous flickering in his eyes. “Alright, then. Let’s make this interesting.”
Before the two of you could come up with an actual plan, the Uber showed up. You exchanged a quick look with Haechan before giving the driver your address.
The ride was quiet, you could feel Haechan’s gaze lingering on you but you didn’t want to say anything so you settled for looking out the window.
When the car finally pulled up in front of your apartment, you stepped out, turning back to wait for him. Haechan, still sitting in the backseat, raised an eyebrow.
“What?” he asked, his voice casual, but his eyes searched yours.
You gestured for him to follow. “Come on.”
For a moment, he hesitated, as if weighing his options. Then, with a slight shrug, he climbed out of the car, closing the door behind him.
“Is there a reason you’re taking me back to your house?” Haechan teased, his tone playful as always, though his eyes held a hint of curiosity.
You shot him a glance, rolling your eyes. “Look at you. You look awful, and I know you’re not smart enough to clean an open wound.”
Haechan smirked, following you toward your apartment door. “I didn’t realize I was so lucky to have a personal nurse.”
You ignored his sarcasm, unlocking the door and stepping inside. “Just sit down and let me handle it before you get an infection.”
As he walked in, his usual cocky demeanor softened slightly. He never thought you two would be talking again. Not after he was such a huge jerk to you.
He sank onto the couch, watching you as you moved through the small space, grabbing your first aid kit from under the sink. There was an awkward quiet that hung between you two, but you didn’t want to acknowledge it.
Returning to the living room, you set the kit on the coffee table and crouched in front of him, carefully opening it up.
“You know, I can do this myself,” Haechan said, but his voice lacked its usual teasing bite.
“Yeah, sure,” you muttered, reaching for the antiseptic.
“Like I trust you not to make it worse.”
He chuckled, though there was an unspoken tension behind it. As you gently cleaned the small cuts and scrapes, you couldn’t help but notice how quiet he had become, his gaze occasionally flickering to your face.
“Why are you doing this?” he asked after a moment, his voice softer than you expected. "I didn’t punch him because of you, I did it because he’s a jerk."
You paused for a second, looking up at him, your hands still resting on him. “It’s the least I can do,” you admitted honestly. “Since you told me.”
Haechan sighed, his eyes drifting around your living room. His gaze lingered on the little details—pictures on the wall, the books stacked messily on the coffee table—before he turned back to you, something softer in his expression.
"Done," you said, pulling your hands away after finishing with his wounds.
He flexed his hand, testing the bandages, and gave you a small, almost appreciative nod. "Thanks..." His voice was low, the teasing gone entirely.
You just shrugged, trying to brush off the weight of the moment. "Don’t get used to it," you said with a small smile, but there was no real bite to your words.
Haechan met your eyes, something unreadable passing between you before he looked away again. "I owe you."
“I will remember that!” you laughed, getting up from the floor and brushing off your pants. “I’m tired, you can sleep on the couch. I’ll bring you some pillows.”
Haechan watched you with an amused expression, his eyes glinting. “I appreciate the offer, but I don’t want to crash on your couch.”
“Too bad,” you shot back playfully, heading toward the closet. “You look like you need the rest after everything. Plus, I don't want to be responsible for you bleeding out.”
“Fair point,” he conceded, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips.
You returned with a couple of pillows and a blanket, handing them to him. “Here you go.”
“Wow, you are going all out,” he teased, settling into the couch, clearly enjoying this.
“Do I get breakfast too, or is that pushing it?”
“Don’t push your luck,” you replied with a mock glare.
“You can make yourself breakfast. Just don’t burn the place down.”
Haechan quietly laughed before getting comfortable on the couch, sinking into the pillows you had brought him. His relaxed posture seemed to shift the atmosphere in the room, making it feel more relaxed.
“Just so you know,” he said, propping himself up on one elbow, “this isn’t going to become a regular thing. I have a reputation to uphold.”
“Right, the infamous Haechan, the bad boy who no one can take seriously.” you teased, rolling your eyes as you left to go to your room.
As you closed the door to your room, you leaned against it for a moment, allowing yourself to breathe.
You tossed your phone onto the bed and plopped down beside it. After a moment, you set a timer for the morning, letting exhaustion pull you into sleep.
Morning light filtered through your curtains, you stirred as your alarm beeped. Blinking sleep from your eyes, you stretched and glanced at the clock. You had meant to wake up early, but the memories of last night lingered in your mind, making it hard to move.
You climbed out of bed, the floor cool against your feet, and made your way to the bathroom. After quickly brushing your teeth and throwing on some comfortable clothes, you headed toward the kitchen, the smell of coffee filling the room.
You found the blanket neatly folded on the couch and the pillows stacked up next to it, but no sign of Haechan. A small frown formed on your face. But what did you expect? You weren’t friends just because he fought your ex. He said it himself that it wasn’t for you. He just wanted an excuse to hit Jay.
Pushing the thought aside, you took a deep breath and focused on getting ready for class. You stepped into your bathroom, splashing your face with cold water to shake off the remnants of sleep. After putting on some makeup and brushing your hair, you throw on a comfortable pair of jeans and an oversized sweater.
As you walked back into your bedroom, you noticed your phone lighting up with a message. You grabbed it, and messages from your friends filled your phone.
Chenle: THAT WAS CRAZY!! ARE YOU OKAY??
Jaemin: Hey, let me know when you’re home!! <3
Jaemin: You probably fell asleep, let me know when you are awake <3
Jeno: Are you okay? Jaemin and I took care of the problem (⪰∀⪯）
Chaeryeong: I saw you leave with Haehcan!! GURRL YOU NEED TO TELL ME EVERYTHING!!
After a moment, you replied to everyone letting them know you were okay.
With your bag slung over your shoulder. You walked towards campus, your mind still racing with thoughts about Haechan.
When you arrived, you navigated through the crowd of students, your mind drifting between the classes you had lined up for the day.
As you made your way to your first lecture, you spotted a familiar face across the quad. It was your friend, Chaeryeong, waving enthusiastically. You quickened your pace to meet her.
“Y/n! There you are!” she exclaimed, pulling you into a quick hug. “I was starting to think you weren’t coming to class!”
“You know I can’t afford to miss a class,” you laugh.
“Okay, I’ve waited enough! Tell me everything!” she said, her eyes sparkling with curiosity as you both walked towards the lecture hall.
You hesitated, unsure of how much to reveal. “Well, Haechan stayed over last night after everything that happened with Jay.”
Chaeryeong raised her eyebrows, a teasing grin spreading across her face. “Oh? Look at you getting cozy with the enemy!”
You rolled your eyes, but couldn’t hide your smile. “It’s not like that. I felt bad, dragging him into all of this.”
“He was always in this,” she said, nudging your shoulder playfully.
You nodded, the weight of her words settling in your mind. “I know, but this doesn’t mean we are friends.”
Chaeryeong shook her head, and the two of you entered the lecture hall, finding your seats. As the professor began speaking, you turned to whisper to Chaeryoung, leaning in slightly to keep your conversation discreet.
“Let’s not tell the guys about me going home with Haechan... I don’t want them to get the wrong idea.”
Chaeryoung nodded and turned back to focus on the lecture.
“I’m going to go eat something, I didn’t get to have breakfast,” you said, rubbing your stomach lightly to emphasize your point.
“You’re so lucky to have a break between classes” Chaeryoung groaned, “I have two more classes before I can even get food.”
“You’re the one that wanted all morning classes”
“Yeah because the night is for parting not for studying.” Chaeryoung rolled her eyes.
You shoved her playfully before splitting up and heading towards the café and sitting in the same spot you did last time.
“Okay, you have to stop stealing my spot,” an annoyingly familiar voice said, breaking your focus from the menu. You looked up to find Haechan standing there, an amused smile on his face.
You raised an eyebrow, faking annoyance. “Still doesn’t have your name on it. This is a public café.”
“Sure, but you know it’s my favorite spot,” he retorted, sliding into the seat next to you. “I always sit here to people-watch between classes.”’
You couldn’t help but laugh at his mock-serious expression. “I don’t care right now, I’m starving.”
He chuckled, glancing at the menu before leaning back in his chair. “What are you getting?.”
“I was thinking about a bagel and some coffee,” you replied, glancing over the options again.
“Boring,” he declared dramatically, shaking his head. “Get the avocado toast. It’s amazing here.”
You rolled your eyes. “So you can steal it? You’re not even hiding your motives.”
He shrugged, an innocent look plastered on his face. “What can I say? I have exquisite taste.”
“Exquisite taste?” you repeated, unable to suppress a laugh. “That’s a big word for you.”
“You’re supposed to be nicer to me now!” he pouted, crossing his arms over his chest. “I did rescue you from that jerk, remember?”
“Rescue is a strong word,” you countered, trying to keep a straight face. “You threw a punch….and then I had to pull you away.”
“Details, details,” he said, waving a hand dismissively.
You leaned back in your chair, pretending to consider. “I’ll get an order for two avocado toasts.”
“Really?!” he exclaimed, eyes lighting up with excitement.
You gestured for him to get up so you could slide out of the booth. “Yeah, but only because you’re annoying and I don’t want to hear you complain. But you’re coming with me to order it.”
“Yay!” Haechan stood up and followed you to the counter, the playful banter continuing as you both approached the register.
As you placed the order, he leaned against the counter, watching you with a teasing smile. “What if I said I wanted extra everything? You’re still paying?”
You laughed, shaking your head as the barista rang up your order. “Is that all?”
You nodded your head, “Yep, that’s all.” You reached into your pocket for your card, but before you could find it, Haechan pulled out his and handed it to the barista.
“Hey, what are you doing?” you protested.
“Just treating you to breakfast,” he said nonchalantly, leaning against the counter as if it was no big deal.
“Why?” You raised an eyebrow, crossing your arms. “For what? You were the one who punched my ex, remember?”
“Exactly,” he replied with a smirk. “I’ve been wanting to mess up his face for a while!”
The barista handed Haechan back his card, and he turned to you with a victorious grin.
You rolled your eyes. “Fine, I’ll let you have this one. But only because I’m starving.”
As you both moved to the side to wait for your order, the door to the café bell rang. You looked to the side and saw it was Jay and his friends.
“Shit!” you mumbled under your breath, your stomach sinking as you tried to think of an escape plan.
You took a deep breath, trying to steady your nerves as Jay’s laughter echoed through the café. He spotted you almost immediately, his expression turning sour.
You could see him making his way to you, so you did the only thing that felt like it would hurt him.
You grabbed Haechan’s shirt, pulling him closer to you as you leaned in, pressing your lips against his in a quick, aggressive kiss.
Haechan froze for a moment, clearly taken aback. But he quickly recovered, wrapping an arm around your waist and kissing you back.
The reaction was immediate. Jay’s expression shifted from confusion to fury, his friends exchanging glances as the tension in the room skyrocketed. You could feel Haechan smirking against your lips, clearly enjoying the situation.
As you pulled away, Haechan’s eyes sparkled with mischief. “Didn’t know paying for your lunch would make you want to kiss me,” he asked, while a grin tugged at his lips.
“Jay is here,” you whispered, low enough so no one else could hear you.
Jay’s glare burned into you, and he scoffed, crossing his arms. “You think that’s going to make me jealous? You’re pathetic.”
You felt a rush of boldness. “If you’re so over it, why do you care?” you shot back, feeling bold because of Haechan’s presence.
Jay opened his mouth to respond, but before he could say anything further, Haechan stepped in front of you, his posture protective. “You really should find a new hobby, Jay. This isn’t working for you,” he said, his tone calm yet firm.
Jay’s face turned a shade redder, his boldness faltering. “Whatever. I don’t need this.” He turned on his heel, storming out with his friends trailing behind, their laughter fading as they exited the café.
You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, glancing up at Haechan. “He was so mad.”
Haechan chuckled, his eyes still sparkling with amusement. “I have a plan!”
You raised an eyebrow, skeptical but curious. “Oh no, should I be worried?”
“Not at all,” Haechan replied, that mischievous grin still playing on his lips. “But if you want to make him furious, we’re going to have to turn it up a notch.”
“What exactly do you mean by that?” you asked cautiously, folding your arms.
“Simple,” he said, leaning in conspiratorially. “We pretend that we are hooking up. Just for a little while. You know how much it’ll eat at him.”
Your eyes widened. “You can’t be serious.”
“Why not?” Haechan shrugged, clearly enjoying the drama of it all.
“It’ll be fun. And the look on his face when he realizes you’ve completely moved on? Priceless.”
You paused, considering it for a moment. As ridiculous as it sounded, the idea had some appeal. Jay seeing you with someone else, especially Haechan, would drive him nuts. And the more you thought about it, the more tempting it became.
“Okay, let’s say I go along with this,” you began slowly. “What’s in it for you?”
Haechan’s grin widened. “I get to have the time of my life watching Jay go insane.”
You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the small smile that crept onto your face. “I don’t know…”
“Come on, it’s genius,” Haechan said, leaning back against the counter with a self-satisfied smirk. “
We’ll be the hottest ‘couple’ in the room, and Jay won’t know what hit him.”
You bit your lip, still hesitant but intrigued by the idea. “Fine,” you finally said. “But don’t get any ideas. This is strictly for show.”
Haechan held up his hands in mock surrender. “Of course. Strictly business. But trust me, this is going to be fun.”
After finishing lunch with Haechan, you went through the rest of your day—attending lectures, trying to focus, but your mind kept drifting back to the café incident.
Haechan’s ridiculous plan echoed in your head, and you couldn't help but replay Jay's angry expression over and over again.
By the time your classes were over, you were mentally exhausted. Having dinner with your friends sounded like a nice break after a hectic day. As you approached the dining hall, you spotted Chaeryeong waving you over to the usual table where the others were already gathered—Jaemin, Jeno, and Chenle.
You slid into the seat next to Chaeryeong, who immediately gave you a curious glance. “So, how was the rest of your day?”
“Eventful,” you said with a sigh.
Jaemin perked up, overhearing the exchange. “Eventful?”
You hesitated, not sure how much to share. “Just... ran into Jay and his friends at lunch.”
The table went quiet for a second before Chenle raised an eyebrow. “And?”
“And... Haechan was there,” you added, not wanting to dive into all the details.
Chenle laughed, breaking the tension. “Oh man, I bet that was awkward.”
“You have no idea,” you muttered, exchanging a glance with Chaeryeong, who seemed to already know there was more to the story.
Jeno, who had been quiet, finally spoke up. “What did Haechan do?”
You opened your mouth to respond, but before you could say anything, Jaemin cut in.
“Wait, wait—are you guys friends now?”
You paused, unsure how to answer that question, especially with Haechan’s ridiculous plan in the back of your mind. “Not... exactly,” you said vaguely.
Jeno looked confused. “What does that even mean?”
Chaeryeong, always the perceptive one, smirked slightly but stayed quiet, watching the situation unfold.
You shrugged. “It just means things are complicated. Let’s just eat.”
But you could tell from the looks on your friends' faces that this wasn’t the last you’d hear about Haechan and Jay.
Your phone rang, and you glanced down, spotting Haechan’s name on the screen. You sighed, already bracing yourself for whatever chaos he was about to bring into your life.
“What do you want?” you asked as you answered, your voice laced with mock annoyance.
“Party this weekend,” Haechan's voice was full of excitement. “We need to go! Everyone’s going to be there.”
You rolled your eyes, even though he couldn’t see it. “And why, exactly, do I need to go to this party?”
“What, you don’t want to kiss me again,” he said with a teasing tone. “Plus, everyone is going to be there so it’s perfect.”
You could already imagine him grinning on the other end of the line, fully expecting you to give in. “Haechan, I’m not exactly in the mood for another party.”
“Come on,” he whined. “It’s not just any party. Jay’s gonna be there.”
“Fine, okay,” you finally said, giving in with a sigh. You could practically hear the grin in Haechan's voice.
“Perfect! I’ll pick you up at eight on Friday. You’re not going to regret it, trust me.”
“I’m already regretting this,” you muttered, but a small part of you was excited. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad—if nothing else, you’d get a chance to make Jay uncomfortable, and that was starting to sound more appealing.
“Just make sure you’re ready,” Haechan added. “And wear something… you know, sexy.”
“Sexy?” you repeated skeptically.
“You’ll figure it out,” he said, his tone light and teasing. “See you then!”
As the call ended, you couldn’t help but feel a mix of excitement and unease. This party could either be a disaster or the perfect chance to move on from Jay and get a little revenge. Either way, things were about to get interesting.
The week flew by in a blur of classes, assignments, and quick meals with friends. Before you knew it, Friday had arrived, and you found yourself staring at your closet, trying to figure out what Haechan meant by "something sexy."
You groaned, pulling out outfit after outfit, none of them feeling right. Tonight wasn’t just any night. If Jay was going to be at this party, you wanted to make him regret cheating on you.
You gave up, settling on a pair of jeans and a black T-shirt. As you finished getting ready, you glanced at the time. Almost eight.
Just as you applied the finishing touches to your makeup, you heard a knock on your door. Taking one last look in the mirror, you grabbed your jacket and opened the door.
“Took you long enough!” Haechan teased, eyeing your outfit with a dramatic shake of his head.
“What?” you asked, already sensing the criticism coming.
“This won’t do,” he said with exaggerated disappointment. Before you could protest, he sighed and gently pushed you back into the house. “Where’s your closet?”
“Haechan, I’m not changing!” you called after him as he made a beeline for your bedroom.
“You are if you want to make everyone jealous,” he insisted, already rummaging through your clothes as if he owned the place. “Jeans and a black T-shirt? Come on, Y/n, we’re supposed to be putting on a show.”
You rolled your eyes, half-amused, half-annoyed. “My outfit doesn't matter.”
He grinned, pulling out a sleek black dress you had tucked away. “This is perfect.”
You hesitated for a second, glancing at the dress. It was short, definitely not what you had planned, but you had to admit, Haechan had a point.
You sighed, eyeing the dress Haechan held up. “You can’t be serious.”
“Oh, I’m dead serious,” he replied, his grin widening as he shoved the dress into your hands. “Come on, Y/n. You want to show Jay what he’s missing, right?”
You hesitated for a moment longer, looking between Haechan and the dress. You wouldn’t ever wear that if you were just going out with your friends. You didn’t have the confidence, but Haechan somehow gave you confidence.
“Fine,” you muttered, rolling your eyes as you snatched the dress from him. “But if this goes wrong, I’m blaming you.”
“Deal,” Haechan smirked, plopping down on your bed and crossing his arms. “I’ll take full responsibility.”
You disappeared into the bathroom, slipping into the dress and staring at yourself in the mirror. It was outside your usual comfort zone, you couldn’t deny you looked good.
Stepping out, you found Haechan waiting, his eyes widening slightly. For a moment, there was no teasing grin, just a flicker of surprise before he quickly masked it.
“See? Now this is how you get everyone’s attention,” he said, standing up. “Jay’s gonna be so jealous.”
His eyes lingered on you a little too long, and the sudden intenseness made you feel exposed. Instinctively, you wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to shield the self-consciousness creeping up.
Haechan reached out gently, his fingers brushing against your wrists as he pulled your arms away from your body.
“Hey, none of that,” he said softly, his voice surprisingly tender. “You look amazing. Own it.”
You blinked, caught off guard by the sincerity in his tone. His usual playful arrogance was replaced with something… different, almost like he wanted you to feel confident tonight. The teasing smirk was still there, but his eyes held something deeper.
“You think this is gonna work?” you asked, trying to ignore the flutter in your chest.
Haechan grinned, his usual swagger returning as he let go of your arms. “Oh, it’s definitely going to work. Jay’s not going to know what hit him. And more importantly, you’re going to have the best time.”
You took a deep breath, trying to match Haechan’s confidence. “Okay, let’s go before I change my mind.”
“Relax, we’re gonna have fun.” Haechan shot you a wink before opening the door.
“Trust me.”
And for some reason, in that moment, you kind of did.
The party was in full swing by the time you and Haechan arrived. The music was loud, the lights were flashing, and the air was thick.
“Hold on for a moment, I need to find Mark really quick” Haechan immediately disappeared into the crowd, leaving you on your own. You should have known you two wouldn’t have stayed together the whole night.
You made your way to the kitchen, needing a moment to collect yourself before facing Jay. As you poured yourself a drink, a familiar voice interrupted your thoughts.
“Well, well, well, look who it is.”
You turned to see Jay leaning against the counter, a smug smile on his face. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes.
“Surprised to see me?” you shot back, taking a sip of your drink.
“Not at all,” Jay replied, his eyes trailing over your figure. “Although I must say, this wasn’t exactly what I expected.”
“You don’t get to have any expectations,” You snapped, trying to sound confident despite not feeling it. “I wear what I want.”
Jay chuckled, leaning in closer. “You never wore that when I was with you.”
“Past tense,” you emphasized, setting your drink down with more force than necessary. “Things change, Jay. Clearly.”
His smile paused for a moment before he masked it with a shrug. “Finally got bored of that douchebag.”
“Yeah, but I guess he hasn’t taken the hint since he’s right here, talking to me.”
Jay's smug expression deepened, but you met his gaze head-on, refusing to back down.
“Y/N?” His tone was dripping with arrogance. “Do you think Haechan is any better than me? He’s just having fun with you until he gets bored.”
You felt the sting of his words, but you weren’t going to let him get to you. You leaned in slightly, your voice steady.
“Maybe. But at least he’s better in bed.”
Jay's jaw tightened, clearly not expecting that response. He opened his mouth to say something, but a voice cut through the tension.
“This is just sad,” Haechan's voice rang out as he walked over, a cool smirk playing on his lips. “She already found someone better.”
Jay straightened up, glaring at Haechan, but didn’t say anything. The silence between the three of you was heavy, but you could sense that Jay was weighing his options. After a beat, he scoffed and stepped back.
“You’re not worth my time,” Jay muttered, giving you one last look before turning on his heel and storming out of the kitchen.
As soon as he was gone, you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. Haechan gave you a sideways glance, his smirk softening into something almost... concerned.
“You alright?” he asked, leaning casually against the counter as if nothing had happened.
You nodded, still feeling the adrenaline from the confrontation. “Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks.”
Haechan raised an eyebrow, clearly not convinced. “Good. Because I have a better idea for the rest of the night. Let’s make him regret ever speaking to you.”
You blinked at him, intrigued. “What are you planning now?”
Haechan grinned, eyes gleaming with mischief. “You’ll see. But first, we need more drinks to loosen up.”
Haechan’s grin widened as he grabbed two cups from the counter, handing one to you. You hesitated, still feeling the lingering tension from your run-in with Jay, but something about the way Haechan looked at you made it impossible to say no.
“Let’s party,” he said, raising his cup.
You clinked your cup against him, taking a sip before following him back into the crowded living room. The music pulsed through the space, people dancing and talking in tight clusters. Haechan was already scanning the room, clearly looking for the next move.
“What exactly is this plan of yours?” you asked, trying to read his expression.
He shot you a playful look. “Oh, it’s simple. We just need to make it look like we’re having the best time ever—together. You know, give Jay a little show.” He winked, clearly enjoying himself.
You couldn’t help but laugh. “So, you plan to make Jay jealous again?”
“Exactly,” Haechan said, pulling you closer to him as a new song began to play. “Let’s see how he likes watching us have all the fun.”
Before you could protest, Haechan spun you around, guiding you into the makeshift dance floor. The bass vibrated under your feet as he moved effortlessly, a confident smirk still plastered on his face. Despite yourself, you found yourself laughing, his energy contagious. You couldn’t deny how easy it was to get swept up in the moment with him.
As the two of you danced, you noticed Jay standing across the room, watching with a clenched jaw. It was clear that Haechan’s plan was working. You caught Jay’s eye for a split second before deliberately looking away, focusing entirely on Haechan. The warmth of his hand on your waist and the way he smiled at you as if no one else mattered, made you forget about everything for a moment.
“See?” Haechan said, leaning close to your ear, his voice barely audible over the music. “Told you it would work.”
You glanced over your shoulder, seeing Jay pushing his friends away and keeping his eyes on you two, clearly frustrated. You grinned. “Maybe you’re right. But don’t let it go to your head.”
Haechan chuckled, spinning you again before pulling you close. “Too late for that.”
Haechan leaned down to whisper in your ear, “Are you ready for the real show?” You nodded as Haechan started to lead you out of the crowd.
As Haechan started to lead you up the stairs, your heart was pounding. The noise from the party below faded slightly with each step, leaving just the two of you in a quiet bubble. His hand remained firmly on your hips, his grip surprisingly reassuring despite the teasing smirk still playing on his lips.
”He’s following us.” Haechan whispered as he led you into a room, purposely leaving the door slightly open.
Your heart skipped a beat as Haechan whispered those words, confirming what you had suspected. Jay was trailing behind, just as Haechan had expected.
Once inside the dimly lit room, Haechan stood in front of you, his eyes never leaving yours. He motioned for you to stand near the bed, his smirk fading into something more serious, though his playfulness never completely disappeared.
“We're putting on a show, right?” he murmured, keeping his voice low. "Might as well give him something to really lose his mind over."
Your breath caught in your throat as you processed his words. This whole thing was a game—one meant to drive Jay crazy—but there was something in the way Haechan was looking at you now that made it feel a little too real.
The faint sound of footsteps approaching the door pulled you out of your thoughts. Jay was getting closer, tension growing thicker with each passing second.
Without thinking, you took a step toward Haechan. He raised an eyebrow, clearly waiting to see what you would do next.
You reached up, touching the side of his face, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath your fingertips. His eyes locked with yours, full of unspoken words. At that moment, you knew this was more than just a plan to him.
"You're right," you whispered, your voice barely above a murmur. "It's time for the real show."
Haechan's eyes widened slightly at your words, his breath hitching in anticipation. Without another word, you took a step closer and then another, until you were just inches apart. You could feel the heat radiating from his body, and it was intoxicating.
As Jay reached the door and saw the two of you so close together, he froze, unable to look away from the scene unfolding before him. It was clear that he had never expected things to go this far.
You felt a surge of adrenaline as you leaned in, closing the gap between you and Haechan. His lips met yours in a rush of heat and urgency.
You felt Haechan’s hands grip your waist and pull you into him even closer, deepening the kiss even more.
As your lips moved together, you could sense Haechan's eagerness, his fingers trailing along your skin as if trying to memorize every inch of you.
You felt Haechan’s hands grip your waist a little harder than before as he pushed you softly onto the bed.
The room seemed to spin around you as Haechan hovered over you, his gaze intense and filled with a raw hunger that sent shivers down your spine. Jay's shocked silence from the doorway only added to the adrenaline.
Haechan's lips trailed down your neck, leaving a trail of kisses as he peppered more along your collarbone.
A soft gasp escaped your lips as Haechan's hands roamed over your body.
Haechan pulled away slightly to look into your eyes. Once he saw that you weren’t uncomfortable, he grabbed the bottom of your dress and moved it up slightly to expose more skin.
Haehcan groaned slightly as he saw your panties were starting to get wet.
“Mmm all for me?” He traced his fingers along the edge of your lace underwear before looking back up at you with a teasing smile that made your heart race even faster than it already was.
You nodded slightly in response and bit your lower lip nervously.
“Use your words, princess. Haechan murmured, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips.
"Yes," you whispered, your voice barely audible above a murmur. "All for you."
The words sent a wave of pleasure through Haechan's body as he leaned down, his lips just brushing against your neck, sending more chills down your spine.
"You’re such a good girl for me," Haechan growled, his voice low with lust.
Before you could respond, he pulled your dress up further, exposing even more of your body completely to him. His eyes lingered on your panties for a moment before he pulled them aside, gently tracing the outer edges of your folds with his finger.
A soft moan escaped your lips as Haechan’s finger brushed against your sensitive skin.
“Fuck, Haechan,” you whispered, your voice shaky.
Haechan smirked, his eyes never leaving yours.
He leaned down, slowly tracing his tongue along the outline of your panties before pulling them off completely.
You shivered as he gently blew on your heated skin.
“You ready?” Haechan murmured, his voice low and seductive.
You couldn’t speak, could barely breathe, but you nodded quickly, desperate for more of his touch.
Haechan gently pushed your legs apart, revealing yourself to him completely. He stared at you for a moment, taking in every detail of your aroused body before leaning down to kiss your inner thigh.
His lips were warm and soft, sending shivers through you with every touch. As he trailed kisses higher and higher, your breath hitched.
A soft moan escaped from between your lips as Haechan's tongue flicked against the sensitive lips. He continued to tease you, his touch never quite reaching the place you desperately wanted him to be.
You squirmed beneath him, desperate for his touch, but he refused to give in. The teasing was almost unbearable. Your heart raced as you felt him moving closer, but still, he denied you.
Finally, just when you thought you couldn't take it any longer, Haechan pushed your legs further apart and dove between them without holding back. His tongue danced across your heated skin as he explored every inch of you.
Your back arched off the bed as you felt him start to get hard on your leg. You threw your head back, gasping for air as a wave of pleasure hit you.
Haechan continued, his tongue never faltering in its job to bring you to a place of pleasure. You felt amazing.
It wasn't long before the pleasure became too much to bear. A strong climax exploded through you.
You moaned his name, the sound echoing through the room as you came apart in his arms, your entire body shaking uncontrollably.
Once your body has relaxed, your breaths came in ragged gasps as you tried to catch your breath.
Haechan laid beside you, his eyes locked on your face as he continued to pant softly.
As you came back down to earth you got up from the bed, making Haechan sit up to watch what you were doing.
You got onto your knees right in front of him.
"Now it’s your turn," you said softly, your eyes meeting his. You could see the hunger in Haechan's eyes, causing you to squeeze your thighs together.
Haechan raised an eyebrow, a hint of mischief lurking in his expression.
As he sat there, his gaze locked on yours, he slowly undid his jeans, letting them fall to the floor.
You couldn't help but gaze at him as he stood there before you, every inch of him screaming for your touch.
Your heart raced as you reached out to touch him, your fingers tracing a path down his chest and onto his stomach.
He shivered as your touch reached his stomach, but he didn't stop you. You continued to explore every inch of him, your fingers tracing the definition of his muscles, feeling the heat radiating from his skin.
As you reached the waistband of his boxers, you hesitated for a moment, uncertainty playing in your mind. But Haechan's eyes never left yours, urging you on.
With a deep breath, your hand dipped beneath the waistband, your fingers brushing against him. A soft moan escaped his lips, his eyes flickering shut for a moment before he opened them again, meeting yours once more.
You wrapped your hand around him gently, feeling him grow harder in your grasp. The warmth from him was intoxicating.
As you began to stroke him slowly, his eyes searched yours.
With a soft nod, you conveyed your permission through your eyes. And Haechan's gaze darkened, and his hunger became more pronounced. He reached out and slid your dress up and off, his fingers tracing down your arms as he removed it.
As the garment fell away, Haechan pulled you closer and gently moved your hair away from his face.
You moved closer to him as you licked the tip of his length.
Haechan let out a soft groan as your tongue flicked against him. You took him into your mouth slowly, savoring the taste of him. Haechan's eyes fluttered shut as you moved your tongue.
Haechan let out a small gasp as he hit the back of your throat, enjoying every second of it. You swirl your tongue around him.
He watched you intently, his eyes drinking at the sight of you on your knees before him, your hair falling down your back.
You lapped at him gently, your tongue tracing circles around his head. Haechan's hands gripped your hair tight, his knuckles turning white as he tried to hold onto something in this moment.
As you felt him start to thrust into your mouth, you took him deeper, your throat contracting around him as he began to lose control.
Haechan groaned loudly, his hands gripping your hair tighter, pulling you deeper into himself. His hips bucked uncontrollably, every muscle in his body tense as he was looking for his release.
You could feel his arousal growing more intense within your grasp. The sight of Haechan losing control above you sent shivers down your spine.
Finally, with a loud groan, Haechan thrust deep into your throat, a wave of pleasure washing over him as he came.
You felt his hot seed fill your throat, and the sensation was overwhelming.
Your body shook as Haechan's release flooded your senses, and you savored every moment of it. As he began to soften, you gently withdrew from him, the evidence of what happened dripping from your lips.
Haechan's eyes fluttered open, and he pulled you into his arms, his mind blurred with pleasure. He kissed you deeply, his tongue tracing the contours of your mouth, tasting himself on you.
As the two of you pulled away from each other you looked at the door and noticed Jay was gone. Not even noticing that he left.
You exchanged a knowing look with Haechan, both of you smiling. It seemed like the plan worked.
As you disentangled yourselves from each other, Haechan glanced down at your still-dripping lips. "We should probably clean up," he said, his voice low and husky.
You nodded, feeling heat in your cheeks as you headed back to the bathroom that was connected to the room.
As you cleaned up, you couldn't help but start to feel a little embarrassed. But Haechan's gentle touch and reassuring words made you feel at ease once again. He helped you clean up, his hands moving gently over your body as he wiped away the evidence of what just happened.
As the water ran into the sink, the two of you stood close, your eyes meeting in the mirror above.
When you were finished cleaning up, Haechan led you back to the bed, making sure to shut the door this time before making himself comfortable in bed. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close. You could feel his heart beating against your back, his breath warm on your neck.
"Get some sleep," he whispered, his voice barely a murmur.
“We can’t stay here.” You whispered back, your voice laced with a hint of anxiety.
Haechan's arms tightened around you, his grip comforting and reassuring. “It’s Mark’s room, I already asked if we could use it.”
You sighed, feeling a wave of relief wash over you. It wasn't the most ideal situation, but it was better than going home this tired.
As you snuggled closer to Haechan, you felt a sense of peace wash over you.
"Thank you," you hum.
Haechan whispered back, “Shhh don’t thank me."
Soon after, the two of you fell into a deep sleep, wrapped up in each other's arms and drifting off to the sound of each other's breathing. And as you slept, the two of you knew that whatever was going on between you just got a lot more serious.
As you slumped into your seat at the dining hall, Chenle grinned at you from across the table. “Why do you look like you just went through hell?”
You glared at him. “Thanks, Chenle. Needed that today.”
Before you could respond, Jaemin chimed in with a smug look. “She went to Mark’s party last night.”
Your eyes widened, taken aback by how he knew. “Wait, how did you—?”
“Life360,” Jaemin said, cutting you off with a proud grin. “I check everyone’s location before I go to sleep.”
You groaned, rubbing your temples. “Of course you do.”
Chaeryeong, who had been quietly listening, suddenly leaned forward, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. “Hold up…are we just going to ignore the fact that you went to Mark’s party without us?”
You sighed, already sensing the upcoming interrogation. “Guys, it’s not a big deal—”
“Please tell me you didn’t go with Jay!” Jaemin interjected, shaking his head like he couldn’t even believe it.
“No!” you snapped back, fed up with hearing his name.
“Then who?” Jeno asked, leaning in with curiosity.
You hesitated, looking around the table before mumbling, “Haechan…”
The silence that followed was loud. Chaeryeong’s jaw dropped while Chenle and Jeno exchanged glances. Jaemin was the first to break the silence, raising an eyebrow.
“Haechan? Seriously?”
The table went silent again, all eyes turning to you as your last word hung in the air.
“Haechan?” Chaeryeong echoed, leaning forward with a mischievous grin. “You went to a party with Haechan and didn’t tell us?”
You groaned, running a hand over your face. “It wasn’t like that.”
Chenle smirked, clearly entertained. “I don’t know… going to a party together, leaving us out of the loop—seems kinda suspicious.”
You groaned again, feeling their eyes on you like a shot light.
“It’s not what you think!”
“Then you better start explaining,” Chaeryeong said, crossing her arms. “Because we all know how this sounds.”
“I didn’t even plan to go! He convinced me at the last minute,” you defended yourself, glancing around the table. “And then Jay showed up, so Haechan… helped me avoid him.”
Jeno let out a small laugh. “So Haechan was your knight in shining armor, again?”
“Oh, please.” You rolled your eyes. “He just wanted to mess with Jay. It wasn’t about me.”
“Still,” Chaeryeong leaned in, lowering her voice dramatically, “Did you spend the night with him?”
Instead of responding, you groaned and buried your face in your hands, too exhausted to deal with the flood of questions.
Chaeryeong gasped dramatically. “Oh my God! You did sleep with him, didn’t you?!”
Your head snapped up, eyes wide. “I promise it was all part of a plan!”
Jaemin raised an eyebrow, skeptical. “A plan? What kind of plan involves you sleeping with Haechan?”
Chenle leaned forward, clearly intrigued. “Yeah, I’m dying to hear this one.”
You sighed, rubbing your temples. “We knew Jay would hate it, okay? It wasn’t supposed to mean anything.”
Chaeryeong’s eyes widened even more. “Wait—So how did Jay know you two slept together?!”
“Well— um, he was right outside the door…”
Chaeryeong’s jaw practically dropped to the floor. “Wait. Wait. Jay heard you two through the door?!”
You squirmed in your seat, feeling the weight of everyone’s stares. “Not just heard us...”
Jaemin sighed, running a hand through his hair. “He watched you two have sex?!”
Chenle, grinning like a Cheshire cat. “I didn’t know you were into that,”
”I’m not!” You tried to defend yourself, “and it wasn’t even full-on sex!”
Chenle let out a high-pitched laugh, and Jeno shook his head, “Let me get this straight…You gave Haechan a blowjob while Jay was watching…”
“I mean if you put it like that it sounds weird…”
Chaeryeong gasped dramatically, covering her mouth with both hands, her eyes wide with shock and amusement. “Oh my God, Y/n!”
You groaned, burying your face in your hands again. “It wasn’t like that!” you tried to explain, your voice muffled by your hands. “It just… happened!”
Chenle was practically doubled over with laughter, wiping a tear from his eye. “Honestly, this is the best thing I’ve heard all week.”
Jeno sighed, trying to hold back his grin. “Okay, but seriously, what are you going to do now? You can’t just pretend nothing happened.”
You nodded, biting your lip. “I know.”
Jaemin looked at you sympathetically, his voice softer now. “Do you like him?”
You took a deep breath and didn’t answer.
The table fell silent, everyone waiting for your response. You could feel their eyes on you, especially Jaemin, as he leaned in slightly, waiting for you to speak.
Finally, you exhaled, avoiding their gazes. “I don’t know,” you admitted, your voice quieter than usual.
“It’s all so confusing. I didn’t expect any of this to happen, and now… I don’t know how I feel.”
Chaeryeong, always the first to jump in, sighed dramatically. “Well, if you don’t know, that’s already saying something. Maybe there’s more to this than you think.”
Chenle, now composed from his earlier laughing fit, added, “Honestly if it was just to get back at Jay, you wouldn’t be this torn up about it.”
Jeno nodded in agreement. “He’s right. You’ve got to figure out if this was just a one-time thing or if there’s something between you and Haechan.”
Jaemin stayed quiet, his eyes searching for yours. “It’s okay to not have all the answers yet,” he said gently. “But don’t ignore how you’re feeling just because it’s complicated.”
You groaned, “I’m just going to pretend like nothing happened and avoid him.”
The group groaned in unison, making you roll your eyes.
“That’s what we said not to do, Y/n,” Jeno said, shaking his head. “You can’t just avoid the guy forever.”
Chaeryeong crossed her arms, leaning back in her chair. “And you know Haechan. He’s not exactly the type to let things go.”
Chenle leaned forward, grinning mischievously. “Plus, avoiding him will just make him chase you even more.” You sighed, slumping in your chair.
Jaemin gave you a soft smile, his eyes kind. “Whatever you decide, we’re here for you. Just… don’t run away from it. If you need time, take it, but don’t bury your feelings.”
You nodded, feeling the weight of their advice. “Okay, fine. I’ll talk to him… eventually.”
The group exchanged knowing looks, but no one pushed you further. At least, not yet.
It’s settled, you're going to avoid him. But of course, that didn’t go as smoothly as you hoped. Every time you tried to slip past him, he somehow spotted you first. It became a game of cat and mouse.
The awkwardness grew with each interaction, especially when you’d catch his eyes from across a room and immediately turn to flee. And as if that weren’t bad enough, your phone wouldn’t stop buzzing. Texts, missed calls, even voice messages. Haechan was relentless.
“Y/n, can we talk? This is ridiculous.”
“Avoiding me isn’t gonna make this disappear.”
“At least hear me out before running.”
You groaned every time your phone lit up with his name. The tension built up so much that even your friends were getting fed up with your avoidance tactic.
“I told you he wouldn’t just drop it,” Chenle teased, scrolling through his phone as you sat together in the library.
Jaemin, who was sitting next to you, gave a gentle nudge. “You can’t keep this up forever, Y/n.”
You knew they were right, but the idea of actually facing Haechan—after everything—felt overwhelming. What would you even say? What did he want to say? The questions kept swirling in your mind, making it harder to act.
A small cough interrupted your thoughts, snapping you back to the present. You glanced up to see Haechan standing a few feet away, his arms crossed over his chest and a determined look on his face. The library was quiet, and it felt like the world had paused at that moment.
“How?” You looked back at your two friends who tried not to make eye contact with you.
”Traitors…” You mumbled.
“Can we talk?” he asked, his voice steady but it was laced with a hint of vulnerability.
You felt your heart race, the urge to run was almost overwhelming. “Not here,” you managed to reply, glancing nervously at your friends who were pretending to be absorbed in their work.
Haechan stepped closer, lowering his voice. “I’m not trying to make this awkward, but avoiding me isn’t helping either. Can we go outside? Just for a minute?”
You hesitated, torn between wanting to confront your feelings and wanting to run away. The library felt suffocating, and with each passing moment, it seemed you had no choice but to face the situation head-on.
“Fine,” you said, the word slipping out before you could second-guess yourself. You stood up, feeling your friends’ eyes on you as you walked past Haechan and out of the library.
Once outside, the crisp air hit you, momentarily clearing your head. Haechan followed closely, and you turned to face him, arms crossed defensively.
“What do you want?” you asked, trying to sound braver than you felt.
“I want to explain,” he said, his expression earnest.
“What happened that night… it wasn’t just a plan to get back at your ex for me.”
You swallowed hard, caught off guard by the intensity of his gaze. “Then what was it?” you challenged, unwilling to let him off the hook so easily.
“It was confusing. You’re confusing,” he replied, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “But I can’t stop thinking about you. I miss you…”
His words hung in the air between you, heavy. You felt your heart flutter despite your better judgment. “One chance,” you said finally, your voice steady but low.
“You get one chance.”
Haechan’s eyes widened slightly, surprise flickering across his features. “One chance? That’s it?” he asked, his tone a mix of disbelief and hope.
“Yeah,” you nodded, crossing your arms defiantly.
He took a step closer, “All I need is one date, and you will be hooked,” he stated, a confident smirk playing on his lips.
You raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. “Is that so? You think it’ll be that easy to impress me?”
He leaned in slightly, a teasing glint in his eyes. “I know it will be.”
You couldn’t help but feel a spark of curiosity at his challenge. “And what if you can’t?”
“I will,” he replied, his tone turning serious, “Meet me at my apartment tonight around seven.”
“Tonight?” you echoed.
“I can’t wait any longer,” Haechan responded, determination clear on his face.
“What do you have planned?” you asked, trying to mask your excitement with nonchalance.
Haechan smirked, a spark of mischief dancing in his eyes. “You’ll just have to trust me. I promise it’ll be fun.”
“Fun? Sounds like you’re setting the bar pretty high,” you challenged, trying to maintain your composure.
“Trust me,” he repeated, his voice low and enticing. “I’ll make it unforgettable.”
You bit your lip, fighting the urge to smile. “Fine, But if this goes bad, I’m blaming you.”
“Deal,” he said, his grin widening. “Just be ready at seven. I’ll pick you up.”
“Thought I was supposed to meet you there,” you teased, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah, but I’m a gentleman,” he replied, his voice smooth and confident, a playful twinkle in his eyes.
You rolled your eyes, unable to hide your smile. “A gentleman, huh? I didn’t know you had it in you.”
“Only for you,” he shot back, leaning in a little closer.
“Okay, Mr. Gentleman. Just remember, I’m expecting something impressive,” you challenged, crossing your arms.
“Trust me, you won’t be disappointed,” he promised, his tone sincere.
Haechan stepped back, breaking the moment slightly.
“Just focus on being ready. I’ll take care of the rest.”
“Fine. Seven it is,” you agreed, feeling a mix of excitement and nerves racing through you.
“Perfect,” he said, a playful spark in his eyes. “I’ll see you then.”
As the hours went by, you kept yourself busy getting ready. You were excited, yet you still felt a little sick from your anxiety. You didn’t know what to expect.
By seven o’clock, you stood in front of the mirror, nerves filling your stomach. After applying the final touches of makeup, you gave yourself one last look.
A knock on the door startled you from your thoughts. Taking a deep breath before opening the door.
Haechan stood there, looking effortlessly handsome in a fitted shirt and jeans. “Wow, you look incredible,” he said, his eyes full of awe
“Thanks,” you replied, feeling your cheeks warm under his gaze. “So, what’s the plan?”
“Taking you back to my place,” he said with a playful smirk, extending his hand to you. “Let’s go.”
“As you walked together, the playful banter made it feel comfortable, just like it had before everything changed.”
Once you reached Haechan’s apartment, two guys walked out, exchanging casual greetings with him as they passed.
“Who were they?” you asked, curiosity growing.
“Just my roommates,” Haechan replied, “The tall one is Jisung, and the short one is Renjun.”
You nodded, glancing at the duo. Jisung gave you a friendly wave while Renjun shot you a playful grin before they disappeared down the hall and leaving you two alone.
“Come on in,” Haechan said, leading you inside. The apartment was cozy, decorated with posters and fairy lights that created a warm atmosphere. In the middle of the living room stood a makeshift pillow fort, complete with blankets draped over furniture and twinkling lights strung inside.
“No way, You remembered?” you asked, a laugh escaping your lips as you took in the sight.
Haechan shrugged, a mischievous smile playing on his lips. “Of course, we used to always make pillow forts as a kid.”
You couldn’t help but smile at the nostalgic sight. “I can’t believe you went through the trouble of making a pillow fort just for me,” you said, stepping further inside.
Haechan grinned. “I thought it would be fun. Plus, who doesn’t love a good pillow fort?”
“True,” you replied, chuckling. “I’m already impressed.”
He led you inside the fort, where soft cushions and blankets awaited. The twinkling lights added a magical touch, casting a warm glow around the space. Haechan settled down next to you, leaning back against the pillows.
“So, what’s the plan?” you asked, eager to know what he had in store for the evening.
“Well,” he began, leaning in closer, “I thought we could watch some movies, eat snacks, and just relax. But first, I have a little surprise for you.”
You raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “A surprise?”
He reached into a nearby bag and pulled out a couple of your favorite snacks. “I know how much you love these!” he said, grinning as he held them up.
Your heart swelled at the thoughtful gesture. “You went all out, didn’t you?”
Haechan shrugged. “I try. Now, let’s pick a movie. Any preferences?”
You glanced at the selection he had lined up on his laptop. “How about a rom-com?” you suggested, feeling playful.
“Perfect choice,” he said, clicking on a title that caught your eye. As the opening credits rolled, you both settled in, the cozy atmosphere making you feel at ease.
Throughout the movie, you find yourself laughing and stealing glances at Haechan. He seemed so relaxed and in his element, and you couldn’t help but feel a warmth growing between you.
As the film reached an over the top romantic scene, you felt your heart race. Haechan turned to you, his gaze searching yours.
“What do you think?”
“It’s cute,” you replied, trying to hide your flustered state. “But a little unrealistic.”
He chuckled softly. “Yeah, like how they always seem to have the perfect timing for their big moments.”
“Exactly! Who gets interrupted right before a kiss?” you joked, shaking your head.
“Maybe we should test it,” he suggested, his voice dropping to a softer tone.
You looked at him, your breath hitching slightly. “What do you mean?”
Instead of answering, Haechan leaned in closer, the distance between you closing. Your heart raced as he brushed his thumb across your cheek, his eyes locking onto yours.
“Can I?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
Your stomach flipped, and you nodded, unsure if you could speak.
Haechan closed the gap, pressing his lips against yours softly. The kiss was gentle at first, but as you melted into the moment, it deepened.
When he pulled back, a playful smile danced on his lips.
“See, no one interrupted us.”
You couldn’t help but grin back, feeling giddy. “You just interrupted your own kiss’’
"I guess I did," Haechan replied.
"So much for perfect timing." You teased.
Haechan's eyes sparkled with mischief. "Maybe we need more practice," he suggested, his tone light but laced with his usual teasing.
You felt your cheeks warm, torn between giving in to the moment and addressing the elephant in the room.
"Haechan," you started, your voice soft but serious,
"What are we doing here? Is this just... fun for you?"
His expression sobered, and he took your hand in his, his thumb tracing gentle circles on your skin. "It's not just fun," he said, his gaze intense. "I meant what I said earlier. I can't stop thinking about you, Y/n. This... us... it means something to me."
Your heart raced at his words, but doubt still lingered. "But what about before? The plan, getting back at my ex..."
Haechan sighed, running his free hand through his hair. "I know how it looked. At first, maybe it was about that. But somewhere along the way, it became real for me. You became real for me."
You searched his face, looking for any sign of insincerity. "And now?"
"Now," he said, leaning closer, "I want to see where this goes. For real this time. No games, no plans. Just us."
The sincerity in his voice made your breath hitch. You found yourself leaning in. "Just us," you echoed, your lips mere inches from his.
Haechan closed the distance, capturing your lips in a kiss that was deeper, more passionate than the first. You melted into it, your hand finding its way to the nape of his neck, fingers tangling in his hair.
When you finally broke apart, both slightly breathless, Haechan rested his forehead against yours. "So," he murmured, a smile playing on his lips, "Am I living up to my promise of an unforgettable night?"
You couldn't help but laugh, the tension from earlier dissolving into a warm, giddy feeling. "It's a good start," you teased, your fingers tracing patterns on the back of his neck. "But you still have a lot of work to do."
Haechan grinned, pulling back slightly to meet your gaze.
"Challenge accepted," he said with a smirk.
You watched as he leaned in, his lips brushing against your ear, sending shivers down your spine.
Your heart pounded in your chest, wondering what surprise he had in mind next. "What are you doing?”
"You'll have to wait and see," Haechan replied, a mischievous glint in his eyes that had you both anxious and excited to find out.
As Haechan's whispers trailed off, you couldn't help but feel excited. Your heart raced in your chest, and you knew that whatever he had in mind, it was sure to be unforgettable.
He began trailing kisses down your neck, his fingers playing with the hem of your shirt, pulling it off and over your head. The sensation sent a shiver through your body, leaving you breathless and wanting more.
Your hands found their way to his back, drawing him closer as his lips continued their trail down your body.
His fingers grazed the delicate skin of your stomach, making you shiver beneath his touch. He pulled back slightly, his gaze locked with yours, and you knew he was contemplating your next move. You saw the desire in his eyes, and you couldn't help but feel aroused and eager to continue.
His hands drifted downwards, tracing the curve of your hips before gently tugging at your pants. He looked up at you again, seeking permission with his eyes. You nodded, giving him the green light to continue.
As Haechan's fingers danced beneath the waistband of your pants, you couldn’t help but let out a small whine. This was real.
His hands slid beneath your waistband, pulling your pants down slowly, revealing more and more of your skin to him. He kissed his way down your body, his mouth leave a trail of wet kisses.
His fingers trailed along the sensitive skin of your inner thighs, and you could feel your heart pounding in your chest.
He leaned in to kiss you again, his lips soft and demanding, and you responded him with equal passion. You could feel him get harder through the fabric of his clothes, and it made you even wetter.
You pawed at his clothes, silently telling him to take them off.
Haechan followed your cues, his movements quick as he tugged off his shirt, revealing the toned muscles of his chest and stomach. You couldn't help but moan at the sight. He then unbuckled his belt, unzipped his pants, and let them slide down his legs, stepping out of them.
You stared at him in awe, your eyes locked onto him. His eyes caught yours and a smirk formed on his face. "Miss seeing me like this?" he asked teasingly.
"Mmmh," you replied breathlessly, your gaze traveling from his perfectly toned chest to the definition of his stomach, and finally to the hard bulge in his boxers.
Haechan chuckled and stepped out of the rest of his clothing, standing before you completely naked.
Without another word, he pulled you close to him, his erection pressing against your thigh. You could feel the heat radiating from him, the desire that kept growing with each passing second. It was intoxicating, and you felt yourself getting lost in it.
Haechan's hands found their way to your waist, pulling you even closer as he began to grind against you. The sensation was so good, and you could feel your body responding to his touch.
His lips found yours once again, slipping his tounge in your mouth.
His hands moved lower, his fingers finding their way between your legs, teasing your already wet folds. You gasped into his kiss, your body arching towards him.
His fingers explored deeper inside you. You could feel his erection pressing against you, begging to be inside you.
"Are you ready for me?" he groaned, his breath warm against your skin.
"Yes," you breathed, your voice barely above a whisper.
"I'm ready."
Without another moment of hesitation, Haechan positioned himself at your entrance, the head of his cock rubbing against your sensitive skin. You let out a moan as he teased you.
He slowly pressed inside you, every inch of him filling you up. His eyes never leaving yours. You could feel the tip of his cock stretching you open, a feeling of fullness.
"Are you alright?" he asked, concern lacing each word.
"Perfect," you gasped, wrapping your arms around him and pulling him closer.
Haechan began to move, his hips thrusting into you with a rhythm that matched your own breathing.
Your hands clawed at his back, holding him close as he moved within you. The sound of his name falling from your lips was like music to his ears- a sound he never wanted to end.
Sweat began to trickle down Haechan's forehead, and the muscles in his arms tensed as he held you close to him.
As he thrust deeper into you, the walls of your body clenched around him, pulling him closer. His breath grew heavier, and he grabbed your face to look at him.
Your moans grew louder. The sounds of wet flesh meeting flesh filled the air, joining together with the hurried gasps and heavy breathing.
Your hips met his, matching his rhythm. You could feel your climax building.
"Donghyuck," you whimpered, your voice barely above a whisper. "I'm so close."
The use of his real name felt different, he felt almost primal as he growled in your ear. "That's it. Come for me baby."
As your body began to tremble, an intense wave of pleasure washing over you, Haechan thrust into you with a faster pace. His eyes locked on yours, he groaned, his jaw clenching as he fought to hold back his own release.
"I'm—I'm close too," he gasped, his eyes almost black from the pleasure.
The sound of your name falling from his lips made you feel like you were on the edge of the world. Your body shook as your climax hit its peak.
Just the sight of you orgasming sent Haechan over the edge. With a final thrust, he pulled out and came all over your stomach, painting you with his cum.
Breathless and panting, you watched as he collapsed beside you, his breathing ragged and uneven. You could feel the slickness of your arousal, mixed with his cum, coating your skin
“Let’s get you all cleaned up.” Haechan pulled away and planted a kiss on your forehead.
After cleaning up, you and Haechan settled back into the cozy pillow fort. The twinkling lights cast a warm glow as you cuddled close, wrapped in soft blankets. A comfortable silence fell between you.
Haechan gently took your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. His eyes met yours, filled with warmth and a hint of nervousness.
"Y/N," he began softly, "tonight has been amazing. Being with you like this, it just feels right. I know we started this in an unconventional way, but my feelings for you are real."
Your heart fluttered as he continued, his thumb tracing circles on the back of your hand.
"I don't want this to be just one night. I want to build something real with you, to see where this could go." He paused, taking a deep breath. "Would you be my girlfriend?"
A smile spread across your face, warmth blooming in your chest. "Yes," you replied, squeezing his hand. "I'd love to be your girlfriend."
Haechan's face lit up with joy. He pulled you closer, placing a soft kiss on your forehead. "Round two?" he murmured, holding in his laugh as you slapped his chest.
synopsis: you patch up a boy with a bloody nose and bruised knuckles, only to find out that he has quite the sweet tooth.
author’s note: why do i keep injuring hyuck in all my fics lmao??? anyways i tried to write his character a bit differently than i usually do to challenge myself so please let me know how you guys like it! also remember, ladies: this is fiction. you cannot fix him <3
warning(s): brief description of injuries, mentions of violence, maximum amounts of cringe and melodrama
playlist: all my ghosts by lizzy mcalpine ― heart eyes by coin ― close to you by gracie abrams ― sidelines by phoebe bridgers ― the alchemy by taylor swift
RECIPE 1. TIRAMISU
“This is not what I meant when I said you need your back blown out.”
“Not funny. I almost died,” you grumble as you wrap the back brace around your torso. You hate the immediate relief you feel from the support it provides, no longer able to tell yourself that it’s really not as bad as it seems―which only makes you angrier.
“Throwing your back out while lifting a giant bag of flour and nearly getting crushed to death by said flour is genuinely the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever heard,” Yeri, your best friend (derogatory), snorts as she shakes her head. “I wish you had cameras in the storage room because I want to see that shit so bad.”
“Thank you for the brace. You can get the hell out now.” You roll your eyes.
“So, what are you going to do now? Aren’t you swamped with orders?” Yeri asks, ignoring you completely.
You have no clue what you’re going to do now. It isn’t just orders you have to worry about fulfilling; it’s also the freshly baked pastries that you have to sell every morning. After a year of blood, sweat, and tears, the bakery that you built from the ground up is finally starting to gain some stable business. So, of course, you chose now of all times to try to lift a bag of flour over your shoulder like you were Dwayne The Rock Johnson.
“I think I’ll have to hire some temporary help,” you answer begrudgingly.
“You could sound less like someone is holding you at gunpoint,” Yeri snorts, “Come on. It had to happen sooner or later anyway.”
“I was handling things just fine on my own.”
“Were you, though?” Yeri raises an eyebrow, gesturing to your current state.
You fear you walked right into that one. “Shut up and help me make some posters.”
The two of you eventually manage to whip up some haphazard “Help Wanted” posters, the letters written in glitter pen and Yeri’s clumsy bubble text. You tried your best to fill in the empty gaps on the construction paper by placing Pompompurin stickers that you normally give to customers’ kids all over it. The posters look like a nine-year-old girl’s school project gone wrong, but you hope it’s charming enough to catch some attention.
By the time you and Yeri finish hanging up all the posters, the sun is already starting to set, and all you want to do is go home and put a heating pad on your back. After saying bye to Yeri, you start making your way back to the bakery to lock up. Once you arrive, you notice a figure dressed in black slumped over in front of the door. You can see their shoulders rise up and down as they take in labored breaths, leaning against the glass door for support.
Every rational fiber in your being screams at you to not approach the stranger alone, but it’s not like you can just leave this person at the front of your place of business. Cautiously taking a step forward, you squat down to eye level with the stranger, wincing slightly from back pain. Through the sweaty and matted mess of his brown fringe, you can see that the stranger is a young man around your age. However, his face is absolutely battered: bloody (and almost certainly broken) nose, split lip, black eye swollen shut, and a jagged cut on his cheek. If he notices your presence, he doesn’t show it, keeping his head hung down.
Gingerly placing a hand on his arm, you give him a small shake. “Excuse me? Are you okay? Do you need me to call an ambulance?”
His brows furrow, and he opens an eye (the only one he’s probably able to open) with a wince before lifting a finger and putting it against his lips. You notice that his knuckles are completely scraped raw.
“Not so loud. I’m okay,” he answers.
“You don’t look―”
As if on cue, his stomach rumbles with a guttural growl that slowly drawls into a sputtering gurgle before dying out all together―leaving a long silence to hang between the two of you.
After another beat, he gives you a sheepish smile. “You got anything to eat?”
You stare at him for a moment; his face is flushed, pink all the way down to his neck.
And like a stupid horror movie character who opens the door to a room that clearly screams danger, you nod.
.
.
.
Fortunately, he―Donghyuck, as he introduced himself―ends up not being a crazy ax murderer.
Unfortunately, you find yourself awkwardly sitting in your closed bakery with a virtual stranger, fiddling with a first aid kit while watching him absolutely devour a piece of leftover tiramisu that you had in your fridge. If the situation wasn’t so insane, you might actually think it was pretty funny. For someone who looks the way he does, this current picture of Donghyuck absolutely doesn’t suit him―bruised chipmunk cheeks stuffed with ladyfingers and cocoa powder stuck on his split lip.
When he’s finished, Donghyuck looks over at you with a mesmerized expression on his face, as if you just fed him ambrosia. There’s a softness to his face that you didn’t think could exist underneath all that grime and dried blood.
“That was…delicious,” he breathes.
“Thanks,” you snort, pushing a glass of water towards him. Unsurprisingly, he chugs it in the blink of an eye. “I still think you should get those injuries checked out, though.”
“Nah, I’ll rub a little spit in them and it’ll be fine,” he shrugs.
“Don’t be gross,” you sigh, scooting your chair closer to him as you set the first aid kit on the table. “Now, come here.”
Donghyuck reluctantly dips his head, and you carefully cup his jaw for support, disinfecting and applying ointment on the cuts and scrapes on his face. You also clean up the dried blood near his nostrils and on his bottom lip, and he doesn’t flinch even when you accidentally brush tender areas like his broken nose or the gash on his mouth. Instead, he stays perfectly still, leaned back in the chair with his forearms resting on his thighs and fingers nonchalantly laced together.
He keeps his gaze trained on something past your shoulder, and you also try your best to focus, but it’s hard to keep yourself from staring―especially when his demeanor has changed so much. He’s so calm and quiet in such a cold, ruthless manner, as if he’s physically steeling himself from pain―like he’s done this a million times before. Occasionally, you feel his eyes swipe across your face when he thinks you’re not paying attention, and it occurs to you how close the two of you are. Suddenly, you’re acutely aware of the heat of his skin against your palm and fingertips, and you rip your hand away from his jaw.
Clearing your throat, you move onto his hands, dabbing his raw knuckles with a cotton ball soaked in alcohol before placing large band-aids on them. Despite your best efforts, it’s hard not to notice how slim his long fingers are or how surprisingly clean his nail beds are for someone who’s covered in blood. You keep your head completely bent, fighting the urge of looking up and possibly meeting his eyes.
“There, all done,” you announce a little too loudly.
“Thank you,” he says softly, “for the cake and for this. For helping me.”
“Don’t worry about it. I didn’t do much,” you blurt, still avoiding eye contact as you clean up the table. However, you notice in your peripheral that his gaze follows your movements, almost hesitantly, before he asks:
“So, you’re hiring?”
You click the first-aid kit shut, blinking a few times before turning back to him. He looks at you with a raised eyebrow, waiting for an answer.
“I―yeah. How did you know that?” you ask, puzzled by such a random question.
Donghyuck points at a poster that you didn’t even know you left here, sitting on the table right behind you. You realize that he was probably looking at it while you were patching him up.
“That poster that says ‘help wanted.’ With the Pompompurin stickers. I’m actually in between jobs right now, so if you would have me―”
“You know Pompompurin?” you interrupt him. It’s not that important and should not stand out to you as much as it does. Yet, you can’t help but grin at the fact that someone like him knows about a tubby Golden Retriever character with a name that sounds like a mashup of the English language’s most adorable onomatopeias.
Donghyuck trails off, stiffening as if you just found out his deepest, darkest secret. He opens his mouth slightly, trying to speak but unable to formulate a response―an excuse, rather. Instead, he just lets out an airy cough, putting a hand over his mouth and turning away from you in an attempt to obscure his face. Despite his best efforts, he can’t hide his glowing red ears and the way his earlier coldness melts away.
“I―yeah,” he responds, words slightly muffled by his hand.
You struggle to maintain your composure as you gnaw on your bottom lip to keep from laughing. Fighting a smile in your voice, you finally say:
“The pay won’t be that much, but you’ll get a bunch of free desserts at the end of the day. Are you okay with that?”
It takes him a moment to process that you’re offering him the job, and you watch his eyes light up and a warm smile overtake his face. There’s still a light shade of pink dusting his cheeks, clashing with the purple bruising and swelling of his injuries.
“I’d love nothing more.”
Suddenly, it occurs to you that Donghyuck somewhat reminds you of a tiramisu.
He may look a bit rugged and grimey, bitter like coffee, but in actuality, underneath it all, he’s soft and fluffy (but not too sweet) like a mascarpone filling.
RECIPE 2. BLUEBERRY PIE
“Are you out of your mind?”
You cringe away from your phone, hurriedly turning the volume down. “Damn, you don’t have to scream like that.”
“You should be the one screaming,” Yeri hollers. “I better not come over one day and find your body stuffed in the freezer or something.”
“I thought you wanted me to hire someone!”
“Not some random dude off the side of the street who was covered in injuries and doesn’t even have any baking experience,” Yeri hisses.
“I don’t need him to bake. I just have him working the front counter and doing all the heavy lifting when I get my ingredient shipments,” you protest. “Did you think I would really just hand over all my orders to some random dude and go party it up in Cancún or something?”
Yeri is silent for several seconds before asking, “He’s hot, isn’t he?”
“What?”
“So you did know what I meant when I said you needed your back blown out.” You can hear the smugness in her voice.
“Yeri,” you say tiredly, “please be serious.”
“I am serious. You’re the one being unserious,” she retorts. “Yesterday, you acted like you would rather sacrifice your firstborn child before hiring a part-timer, and now look at you. Dickmatized.”
“Okay, I’m hanging up now.”
“So, when do I get to meet him―”
You quickly hit the button to end the call and shove your phone into your pocket, letting out an exasperated sigh. You definitely won’t be hearing the end of that for a while. Your face feels warm for some reason, and you decide that you need a coffee break. After you finish making it, you pour yourself and Donghyuck a cup.
You peek your head out from the curtain that separates the kitchen and the front counter to see if Donghyuck is busy. He’s politely chatting with an elderly woman, and your eyes nearly pop out of your head when he takes out the entire tray of egg tarts in the glass display and wraps it up for her. The woman happily hands him a wad of bills and waves him goodbye. After putting the cash in the register, Donghyuck turns around and catches you in the middle of gawking.
“Oh, Y/N. I was actually just about to head back there. We’re out of egg tarts for the display,” he says nonchalantly.
“Uh, yeah, I can see that,” you whisper loudly, “Was that Mrs. Kim? Why the hell did she order a dozen egg tarts? That woman can barely finish a single cookie.”
Donghyuck blinks, clearly confused, whispering back, “She asked for my recommendation, so I said egg tarts since no one had bought any yet, and she said she would take all of them.”
You pause, things finally clicking. Grinning knowingly, you say, “You know, having you work the front is doing wonders for sales.”
“I don’t understand.” He furrows his brows.
You laugh, handing him his cup of coffee. “I’m talking about your face card, Donghyuck. You’re too handsome, so you’re flustering the customers.”
“Are we not whispering anymore?” he asks awkwardly. “Besides, that’s not true. Look at the state of my face right now.”
His injuries have faded significantly, but the bruising and cuts are still there. You want to tell him that superficial wounds can’t mask the warmth in his caramel-brown eyes, the fullness of his cheeks and the sharp jawline, and the air of mystery that enshrouds him and draws people in.
But you don’t.
“Well, for someone who’s only been working here for two weeks, you’re doing superb. Injuries or not.”
And it’s true. You’ve always preferred to work alone because you’re the only one who understands how you want things done. You naturally assumed it would be a hassle and a waste of time to try to explain to someone else when you could just do it yourself, but Donghyuck never seems to need an explanation. In fact, he knows before even you.
He gets to the bakery three hours before you, cleans and preps all the equipment you need for the day, unloads the ingredient shipments, and is already manning the front counter by the time you arrive like it was no big deal at all. He also seems to have a sixth sense of knowing when you’re about to do something you shouldn’t be, even though you downplayed your back injury. He’s somehow always there―moving all the stuff you keep on the top shelf to somewhere within your reach even though you insisted that the rickety wooden step stool you use is perfectly safe, cleaning up a glass beaker that you accidentally shattered, taking out the trash during his breaks, checking in on you when you skip lunch. He even turned down his first paycheck, saying it’s repayment for patching him up and feeding him.
Donghyuck is so perfect that sometimes you wonder if you’re being set up, like maybe he’s secretly embezzling money from the cash register―which would be a more viable theory if he didn’t drive an Audi to work everyday.
“Thanks for the compliment. And the coffee,” Donghyuck says, snapping you out of your thoughts. He gingerly takes a sip and makes a strangled noise, a mixture being choking and retching, before slapping a hand over his mouth.
“Are you okay? Was it too hot?” you ask worriedly.
“No, it’s just…really bitter,” he mumbles, words muffled in his hand.
“Oh,” you blink, “Sorry. I drink black coffee, so I forgot to ask if you wanted creamer and sugar. Come on, there’s some in the back.”
The two of you head to the kitchen, and you watch him dump an exorbitant amount of creamer and sugar in his coffee, the dark roast swirling into something more akin to milk tea.
“You know, there might be some chocolate milk in the fridge if you’d rather that,” you tease.
His head shoots up, those doe eyes lighting up. “Really?”
“No,” you trail off awkwardly, “Sorry, I'm just messing with you.”
It’s a bit adorable that you can visibly see him being disappointed in there not being chocolate milk before growing embarrassed, looking down at his cup. He turns away from you, but you can see the flush on the back of his neck.
“You really have a sweet tooth, huh?” you laugh.
“Pretty lame, right?”
“Why would that be lame? You’re talking to someone who owns a bakery, in case you forgot.”
Donghyuck smiles at you, and it’s sugary sweet like buttercream frosting. He looks at you like you just said the most wonderful thing in the world; in fact, he always makes you feel like that, no matter what you say or do. “I guess you’re right.”
“What’s your favorite dessert?” you blurt, needing a distraction urgently.
He pauses briefly. “I don’t think I have one.”
That actually surprises you. “You don’t? Even though you love sweets so much?”
He laughs, the sound harsh and rough, and it almost makes you flinch. “I’ve never really had an opportunity to have many until now.”
There’s clearly weight behind his words, but you know you’re not in a position to ask any further. A selfish part of you wants to be important enough to him that you are in a position to know more, but you’re all too aware about him very purposefully keeping you at arm’s length.
“Well, you have plenty of time to find out,” you quickly continue, pretending not to notice. “Actually, I’m going to a blueberry farm tomorrow because I’m thinking about adding blueberry pie to the menu. When I get back, I’ll bake one for you, and you can be the first to taste test it!”
“You’re going by yourself?” Donghyuck raises an eyebrow.
“Of course. Who else would I go with?”
“Me. I’ll go with you,” he replies immediately.
“But it’s, like, a forty-five-minute bus ride to the farm. Plus, coming with me to get ingredients isn’t part of your job description anyway,” you explain.
“I can’t come with you on my own free time?” he asks, tilting his head. “Besides, I’m worried about you overexerting yourself with that back injury. A bumpy bus ride definitely isn’t going to help, so I’ll drive us there.”
“You’re going to drive that fancy ass car to a farm? You do realize it’s going to be dirt roads, right?” You cross your arms.
“I think I’ll live. Besides, what makes you think this is the only fancy ass car I own?” He gives you an amused smile.
“You’re joking, right?” You stare at him.
He hesitates for a moment. “Yes.”
“That doesn’t sound―”
“What time are we leaving tomorrow morning?”
“...Seven.”
.
.
.
Unsurprisingly, Donghyuck picks you up right on time, not a minute too early or late. As the universe would have it, it rained the night prior―meaning all the dirt roads are now rivers of mud. You wince every time you heard a splat of mud hit Donghyuck’s pristine white car, but he seems to pay no mind to it. The two of you arrive at the farm within twenty minutes (he found a shortcut), and because you came so early, you get the entire farm to yourselves. The staff arms both of you with a large wicker basket each before setting you loose onto the massive property.
“Okay, make sure to pick the fat ones. The small ones are super tart, so avoid those,” you instruct Donghyuck. “We’re going to fill these baskets to the brim and get our money’s worth.”
“You got it, Captain.” He salutes.
You give him a determined nod and a thumbs up before turning to your respective side and beginning to pick the blueberries. The two of you work without much fanfare or conversation, and it’s a silence that lingers between you comfortably. It reassures you to hear the sound of the bushes rustling from Donghyuck working; his companionship alone relaxes you.
Eventually, when the sun starts peeking through and the weather grows warmer, both of you decide to take a break. You find a spot in the shade before sitting down, pulling out snacks and bottles of water from a backpack Donghyuck brought along.
“I have a surprise for you,” you tell him, trying to hide a smile. “Close your eyes.”
He eyes you suspiciously but does so anyway. You fish out a handful of unripe blueberries wrapped in a handkerchief from your pocket and feed some to him. His reaction is nearly instant the moment he starts chewing them; you watch as his face puckers up from how sour they are and his entire body shrivels into itself, a shudder running through him. He’s polite enough to not spit them out, but you’re not polite enough to resist pointing and laughing at him. Throwing your head back, you laugh so hard that your stomach starts to hurt.
“Oh my God, your face!”
“Ugh,” Donghyuck groans, taking a big gulp of his water. “I should’ve known you had sinister intentions from the start.”
“I didn’t think you’d react like that,” you finally manage to say after catching your breath. “You really can’t handle anything except for sweet stuff.”
“Are you having fun bullying me?” He rolls his eyes.
“So much fun,” you say in a sing-song voice.
Donghyuck tries to continue feigning annoyance, but he can’t help the low chuckle that rumbles in his chest. His eyes always soften when he looks at you, and his gaze is intimate like a lover’s―gentle, tender, unwavering, and vulnerable. But his warmth is always fleeting, and he only allows you glimpses of it through the unmoving walls that he’s erected around himself.
You wish he wouldn’t indulge you so, terrified you’ll try to cross the line he’s drawn between the two of you.
“What are you thinking about?” Donghyuck asks, trying to read your expression
“About the delicious pie I’m about to make when we get back,” you smile.
“I see,” he responds, though it’s clear he isn’t convinced. “I’m looking forward to it.”
“You better be. This is how I’m paying you back for driving me here,” you nod.
“Instead of that, pay me back by telling me what your favorite dessert is,” he suddenly says. “I do still want the pie, though.”
“That was random,” you snort. “Why do you want to know my favorite dessert?”
“Because you asked me, but you never told me yours.”
You suppose he has a point, but you find it ironic that he wants to know more about you when he refuses to offer you even a modicum of information about himself. Despite this, you tell him anyway because you are obviously the fool here.
“If you must know, it’s red velvet cake,” you sigh.
“Why?”
You don’t answer at first, carefully thinking about if you’re ready to be vulnerable in front of him―still a virtual stranger. A virtual stranger who loves sweets. A virtual stranger who is a bit of a messy eater. A virtual stranger who knows Pompompurin. A virtual stranger who worries about you even when he’s not on the clock. A virtual stranger who gently tells you to be careful whenever you try to do something dangerous, whispering, “I’ll do it instead.” A virtual stranger who allows his luxury car to be caked in mud for you.
“Because it’s the dessert that made me realize I want to do this for the rest of my life,” you finally say. “I baked it for my mom’s birthday, and I think I ended up being more excited than her.”
Donghyuck stays quiet, gauging your reaction.
“I was in college, studying to be a doctor like everyone else in my family. So, like a dumb young person who thought that dreams were more important than money, I dropped out of college and went to culinary school. My parents told me I was ruining mine and their lives, disowned me, yada-yada―a bunch of depressing stuff, you know. Eventually, I graduated, took out a huge loan, and opened up my own bakery. Worked a bunch of part-time jobs until my business could stand on its own. Now here I am. Still in debt, though,” you laugh awkwardly. “But I’m not doing too shabby. I was able to hire you, so at least I have a little cash to spare.”
He still doesn’t say anything, so you find yourself starting to ramble. You’re really not sure what possessed you to trauma dump on him like that.
“You know, a lot of people talk shit about red velvet cake because they say the only thing that makes it special is the red food coloring,” you hurriedly explain, “but that’s not true. The cream cheese frosting is super important too. Also, I always say love is the most important ingredient of all. As a baker, you’re kind of baring your heart to the customer, and isn’t it kind of cute that red velvet cake is red like a heart? Okay, please say something now or else I think I’m going to projectile vomit.”
Donghyuck reaches over and brushes a sweaty lock of hair out of your face. His fingers brush over your temple, which makes you sharply suck in a breath. You almost lean into his touch, but you catch yourself. His hand slightly lingers on the side of your neck, like he wants to bring your face closer, but he eventually pulls away.
He searches your face, and you’re not sure what he’s looking for―if anything. Rather, perhaps he’s not searching. Perhaps he’s committing your features to his memory, as if the way you look right now is something he wants to remember forever.
“You’ve worked hard, Y/N,” he says softly, voice slightly hoarse. “This is long overdue, but congratulations. You achieved your dream, and don’t let anyone ever discount that. Not even yourself.”
You wonder how long you’ve waited to hear that. You’re not even sure you knew you needed to hear that. But when Donghyuck says it, it hits you just how long and hard you’ve worked all on your own without a single break. Throughout the years, you’ve really only ever heard, “I’m sorry that happened.” When was the last time someone congratulated you? When was the last time you congratulated yourself?
You surge forward, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and burying your face in his shoulder. Donghyuck cradles you against him, one hand wound tightly around your waist while the other is tangled in your hair. You can feel his chest rise up and down as he holds you. He smells like lavender soap and a bit earthy from being outside, and the warmth of his skin against your cheek makes you want to close your eyes and fall asleep in his arms.
“Thank you,” you whisper.
“No, thank you,” he murmurs into your hair.
You’re not sure why he’s thanking you instead, but what you are sure of is that you’re crossing the line, taking a step towards him and wondering if he’ll meet you halfway.
.
.
.
“Tada!” you announce cheerfully, setting down the freshly baked blueberry pie onto the table.
Donghyuck claps excitedly. “Holy shit, it looks amazing.”
“I’m still trying to figure out the right portions for the filling, so let me know if you think there’s too much or little,” you tell him as you hand him a slice.
Without even answering you, he stabs his fork into the pie and almost eats the entire slice in one bite, seemingly unbothered by the steam still rising from it.
“Be careful. You’re going to burn your tastebuds off. I’m not letting you eat it for shits and giggles, you know. This is for research purposes.” You cross your arms.
“It’s perfect, Y/N. I’m serious,” Donghyuck says after swallowing. “The filling isn’t too sweet, and the crust is airy and light.”
“Well, alright, Gordon Ramsay. I think we’re going to be adding a new menu item then,” you smile. “Think you can get Mrs. Kim to buy a dozen of these?”
“I don’t think she’ll need much convincing with how good these taste.”
“You’re so easy,” you tease. “All I need to do is feed you. Anyways, I’m going to clean up here, but you should head home. It’s getting late, and you wake up way earlier than me.”
“I’ll help,” he insists.
“Go,” you order, pointing at the door. “I can handle it.”
He looks conflicted but eventually relents when you threaten to physically kick him out. Before he leaves, he turns back to you and says, “Thank you, Y/N.”
“Why do you keep thanking me?” you laugh.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve had this.”
“What? A blueberry pie?”
Donghyuck pauses, a slight wonder in his expression, as if he’s realizing his answer for the first time as well.
“Peace.”
And you think maybe this is a step forward for him too.
RECIPE 3. CREAM PUFF
It’s quite surreal how easily and naturally you and Donghyuck fall into a routine together. Somehow, in the blink of an eye, two weeks becomes two months. You’ve learned the little things about him, like how he always swipes some icing before you can fill up the piping bag or that he’s not a coffee drinker at all (more of a hot cocoa person) or that he purses his lips when a dessert he’s testing tastes off (no matter how hard he tries to hide it) or that he involuntarily sticks his arm out in front of you when he wants to stop you from doing something you shouldn’t.
You also notice that he sometimes comes into work with injuries. They’re not nearly as bad as the first time you met him, but it’s hard to ignore a bruised cheek or bloodied knuckles. He always has a reason for them, whether it’s tripping down the stairs or accidentally falling down and scraping his hands on the concrete. You can tell by the way he laughs it off that he doesn’t plan on telling you the truth, so you laugh with him. The two of you, having taken only a step towards one another, find yourselves completely immobile now.
He always does this: envelops you like a cloud but disappears the moment you reach out for him.
You’re honestly not sure why he’s still here. Your injury has long healed, and he clearly doesn’t need the abysmal pay you’re giving him. He feels like he’ll slip away at any moment, fleeting like a warm spring breeze, and you suppose time flies by when you know it’s limited. Despite knowing that, you can’t help but desperately want him to stay.
“I think it’s cute how hard he’s working,” Yeri randomly says one day as she eyes Donghyuck prepare orders in the front. He’s in the middle of a lunchtime rush, so he doesn’t even notice the two of you watching him like weirdos.
“Well, that’s what I’m paying him to do,” you reply, rolling his eyes.
“Oh, I think the money is the least of his worries here,” she hums, taking a sip of her coffee.
She has a point, but you’re pretty sure she’s implying something else as well. Just as you go to ask her what exactly she means, you hear a loud clatter. Flinching, you turn your attention back to Donghyuck and realize that he’s dropped a tray on the floor. However, the tray is the last thing on your mind when you see the expression on his face. It’s a mixture of horror, anger, and almost sadness―like he’s finally come face-to-face with whatever he’s been running from. It makes your blood run cold.
Donghyuck is looking at a boy around his age; the boy has dark hair, a mole under his eye, and a grim expression. More importantly, he’s covered in injuries too.
“Who is that?” Yeri whispers. “Why does Donghyuck look like he’s seen a ghost?”
Maybe because he has, you want to tell her.
Donghyuck grabs the boy's arm, squeezing so tightly that his knuckles turn white, and mumbles something to him. When he turns around and meets your eyes, he looks pained and fearful as if you witnessed something you shouldn’t have.
“Is it okay if I take my break early today?” he asks calmly, though the tremor in his voice gives him away.
You nod hesitantly, unable to force yourself to speak. You watch him as he drags the boy out; when he passes you, you can tell how tightly his body is wound right now. His jaw is clenched, a muscle spasming as he tries to control himself, and every step he takes seems labored. He’s running on pure adrenaline right now, like he’s physically steeling himself.
However, you don’t think he’s ever appeared so incredibly alone before. As you watch his back disappear further and further from your view, you’re unsure if he’ll ever return, and you never imagined how terrifying that would be.
.
.
.
The cream puffs aren’t rising.
You’re crouched in front of the oven, watching the dough remain flat and lifeless. You should’ve known better than to attempt to make cream puffs on such a shitty day, especially when pastries like these are so sensitive to the environment and atmosphere. Even though you know you should probably just scrap them and try again, you wait for just a little longer, hoping that maybe if you wish hard enough that they’ll magically start to rise.
But then again you suppose that no matter how hard you try, no matter how careful you are, no matter how perfect the batter is, no matter how much time you spend time piping them, no matter how much you want them to rise, they won’t.
You decide that Donghyuck isn’t like a tiramisu at all; he’s sensitive and delicate and elusive and frustrating like a cream puff.
“Y/N, they’re burning.”
Losing your balance and nearly falling over, you gasp loudly. You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t even hear Donghyuck walk into the kitchen, nor did you smell the undeniable scent of something being burnt to a crisp.
“Oh, fu―!” you curse, hurriedly opening the oven and casually suffocating both you and Donghyuck with a hot plume of air. Sputtering, you look around and grab a random rag from the sink before reaching for the cream puffs.
“Wait, stop!” Donghyuck stops you with an outstretched arm, his hand pressed to your side. “Let me do it.”
He gently takes the rag from your hand and removes the tray of charred cream puffs from the oven, dumping them into the trash before putting the tray in the sink and running some water on it―just how you like it.
Letting out a relieved sigh, he turns back to you and asks, “Are you okay? It’s not like you to make a mistake like that. You didn’t get burned anywhere, did you?”
When you don’t answer immediately, Donghyuck rushes forward and grabs your hands, carefully examining your fingers and arms. “Wait, are you hurt? Where? Tell me where you got burned. We have to cool it down with some lukewarm water. And don’t just say you’re fine. Burns are not a joke, Y/N―why are you looking at me like that?”
His hands are calloused and rough, and you can still see scabs from where he tore his knuckles, yet he touches you like you’re the delicate one. He’s covered in fresh and old wounds, yet he looks so panicked at the thought of you having a scratch.
“Shut up,” you whisper furiously, ripping your hands away from him. “From now on, don’t ask me another question. It’s my turn to ask you questions.”
He blinks, a bit stunned by your reaction, but it’s clear he knows what you’re about to say. He goes to reach for you again but decides against it. “Okay.”
“Who was that guy?” you demand. “Why are you always covered in injuries? Why did you lie to me? Who are you?”
“He’s an old friend,” Donghyuck starts quietly.
“Do you treat all your friends like that?”
“When I don’t want to see them.”
You wait for him to continue.
“Before I met you, he and I and a few of our other friends worked…odd jobs for cash,” he explains, and he looks like he’s choking on every word. “The jobs usually entailed us hurting people and also getting hurt. I did a lot of shit I wasn’t proud of. At the time, I didn’t really care. It was just nice to feel something, whether it was the adrenaline rush from doing the punching or the pain from being punched. I got a bunch of money, bought a bunch of expensive stuff, but none of it mattered. Eventually, I just felt nothing again. I didn’t even have the energy to loathe myself anymore. So, I took one last job, got the shit kicked out of me, and then I left. That’s when you found me―”
He inhales, and his eyes flicker towards you. He gazes at you so longingly, as if you were impossibly out of his reach, that you can’t help but involuntarily take a step towards him.
But he steps back.
“I thought that working here would make me feel like a human being again, but I didn’t realize how much I would―” He pauses again. “I thought working here would be a nice reset for me, but I naively thought that I could completely leave my past behind. My friends eventually found me, and I guess I care about those reckless assholes more than I thought because they managed to convince me to take on a few more jobs with them. That’s why I’ve been coming to work with injuries. But I’m done. I cut them off for good when they walked into this bakery. I don’t want…I don’t want our past to tarnish this place. I want to keep this place a beautiful, warm, and pure safe haven that you worked so hard for it to be. That’s why I lied to you, Y/N. I’m a coward to the bone, and I was envious of you. I was ashamed to admit it to you. You, who had the courage to chase after your dream. You, who had the kindness to help a good-for-nothing asshole like me. I only want you to have happy memories from now on, and I am not one of them.”
“Are you going to leave?” you ask softly.
“I probably should,” he answers shakily.
“What’s stopping you?”
“Just…one reason.”
“When you say it like that, it makes it sound like the reason is me.”
Donghyuck laughs bitterly, and his eyes drag across your face like every movement hurts him.
“You know it’s you. It’s always been you.”
When you reach for his hand, he turns away like just the warmth from your body heat burns him. So instead, you take a step back.
“I won’t ask you to stay, Donghyuck, I won’t chase you. I’m going to wait right here, and it’s up to you if you're going to meet me halfway.”
RECIPE 4. RED VELVET CAKE
When your alarm clock goes off the next morning, you seriously consider just not showing up to work. It’s not like you can be fired for being a no-show when you’re your own boss, after all.
And it’s not like you have any employees who will be expecting you.
You’ll just apologize to Mrs. Kim and your other regulars later. You’re allowed to have a day where you just rot in bed and feel sorry for yourself.
However, no matter how much you tell yourself that, you find yourself crawling out of bed and getting ready anyway. You can’t seem to brutally crush that small glimmer of hope that Donghyuck might still be there, no matter how hard you try. When you see yourself in the mirror, you recoil in horror. Your eyes are almost swollen shut from the amount of crying you did last night, and your face is sallow and lifeless.
So much for putting on a brave face, you think wryly to yourself. You tried so hard to look tough, when in reality, you bawled your eyes out and even considered praying to God for Donghyuck to stay. It’s a humiliating and humbling reality check.
“Stand up right now,” you sharply tell yourself in the mirror. “He’s just some guy. Get it together.”
You do your best to clean up your appearance and make the trek over to the bakery. It takes another internal pep talk before you can make your way to the door. After you finally walk up, you see that the lights inside are off. Your stomach sinks, and your eyes start to burn. Even though you’re holding the handle, you can’t bring yourself to open the door. It’s an outcome that you expected, yet you wonder why it hurts so badly.
“You liar,” you mumble to yourself, “You said you only wanted me to have happy memories.”
Once you make your way inside, you numbly head towards the kitchen, trying to remember what exactly you have to do today. Oh right, now that he’s not here, you also have to make sure all the ingredients are prepped first.
When you walk into the kitchen, you do a double-take.
The whole place looks like it’s been completely ransacked: used pans and utensils piled up in the sink, two opened boxes of cake mix, containers of ingredients without lids on on the tables, random lumps of flour and egg shells strewn about―
And right in front of the oven is Donghyuck, flour in his hair and frosting on his nose. He’s holding a cake stand with…you think it’s supposed to be a cake on it? The shape is mangled and haphazardly cut, but it has echoes of a heart. The frosting is a hot mess, as if a bird with diarrhea shat all over the cake. The batter is clearly underbaked and makes the cake look gooey in a bad way.
“Um, I promise I’ll clean all of this up in a second, but I wanted to surprise you,” Donghyuck starts awkwardly. “It’s not perfect, but I tried making a red velvet cake for you.”
You stare at him, still not sure how to react.
“You once said that baking is like baring your heart to the customer and that love is the most important ingredient of all,” he laughs softly to himself. “I think love is the only ingredient I managed to get right, but I’m baring my heart to you now, Y/N. I’m sorry I hid everything and lied to you, but I’m in love with you. Hopelessly so. All my life, I’ve chased a feeling, not knowing what it was. But now I do. I don’t think I knew how to feel until I met you. I never once thought I would ever have a purpose in my life, but you make me want to be a normal, proper member of society. Your dream is my dream. I want to wake up at 5AM and sell egg tarts with you for the rest of my life, if you’ll have me.”
Donghyuck sets the cake down on a table in front of you, and you notice that his fingers are dyed red from the food coloring. It almost reminds you of when you first met him, except his injuries have been replaced with red food coloring, flour, and cream cheese frosting.
“This cake is terrible,” you smile, “how did you butcher it that badly when you used cake mix?”
You watch him blush all the way down to his neck, as he sheepishly looks away. “Don’t make fun of me. I really tried my best. I stayed up watching tutorials―”
Leaning across the table, you cup his face with both hands and kiss him, brushing your thumbs across his cheekbones. He tastes like frosting, hot cocoa, and your prayers being answered. The way he kisses you back is bruising, dizzying and knocking any coherent thought out of your head, his hands finding your hips and anchoring you to him. He kisses you like you’re the sweetest and most wonderful thing he’s ever tasted.
When you finally pull away, it takes you a moment to regain feeling in your legs. Donghyuck presses his forehead against yours, lips brushing against yours once again as the two of you try to catch your breath.
“I think I’m going to have to fire you, though,” you whisper. “You know, with me being your boss and all. The power dynamic is too weird.”
He hums, pausing for thought. “Then how about I become your business partner?”
“What?”
Donghyuck reaches into his pocket and fishes out his wallet, pulling out a shiny and fancy-looking credit card. He hands it to you without much fanfare.
“I have a lot of money, you know. So I’m going to invest in your business. Use it as you’d like,” he casually announces.
You stare at him, your jaw hanging wide open. He never tried to hide from you that he was rich, but he never told you that he was rich rich.
“Well, damn! Why didn’t you show me this earlier? I would have forgiven you a lot sooner,” you tease, slapping him on the arm. “Are you sure you want to give this to me? I’m quite the gold-digger, you know.”
“When I told you to use it as you’d like, I meant me as well,” Donghyuck replies, shrugging.
“You’re insane.” You hope he can’t tell how much your face is burning up.
“I guess I am,” he laughs, and you don’t think he’s ever looked so free. You want to tell him that you hope he only has happy memories from now on too. You want to tell him that you’ll rewrite all of his scars with sugary and fluffy desserts so that they won’t ever hurt again.
And for the first time in your life, you feel it too.
Peace.
EXTRA
“So, have you figured out what your favorite dessert is?”
Donghyuck stirs slightly, groaning, as he wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you closer. He slips his hand under your shirt (well, technically it’s his shirt) and rests it on your bare hip bone.
“Why aren’t you asleep?”
“Because I’m curious.”
“If I answer, will you let me rest?”
“Depends on how good your answer is.”
“Blueberry pie. That’s my answer.”
You smile against the crook of his neck.
“Why?”
“Because it’s the dessert that made me realize I want to do this for the rest of my life.”
Summary: Jisung unlocked a new fear: you leaving him.
Pairing: Werewolf Jisung X noona female reader
Warnings: smut, insecurities, jealousy, mentions of baby traping, switch Jisung, handcuffs, some angst (you know me)
Note: the first scene takes place during Chenle’s story, so if you haven’t read that one it may be confusing, but you don’t need it. And to my followers: thanks for waiting! This is just a short scenario to get back into writing and grammar/spelling wasn’t checked but oh what the hell, enjoy!
“A WHAT?!”
Jisung's usually deep and quiet voice turned into an uncharacteristic squeal as a response to what his best friend had just confessed. Any other day he would have immediately apologized to the other customers, who jumped and turned around, surprised at his sudden yell, but he was so scandalized that all he cared about right now was for Chenle to tell him he had misheard him.
“A memory loss spell…,” Chenle repeated, his eyes looking empty as he took another sip of beer.
“WHA–,” Jisung caught himself before he could scare everyone in the pub again and proceeded by lowering his voice. “But you two are mated!”
Chenle nodded slowly. “And we are so bad at it that our pack leader himself told us we were better off never seeing each other again. Forgetting the other ever exists.”
Jisung opened and closed his mouth dumbly before trying to come up with an alternative solution. “You guys j-just need some time and–”
“We've been together for months, Jisung. She…,” Chenle sighed and entangled his fingers in his hair with frustration. “She hates me…”
There was a moment of agonizing silence until Jisung's own eyes became watery when he heard a quiet sob coming from Chenle.
“But…” the younger one insisted. “It was so hard for you two to get together…you c-can't just forget everything…”
“Maybe it was hard because we weren't meant to be together,” Chenle said bitterly, still hiding his face behind his palms, like this would keep the other from finding out tears were rolling down his cheeks. “I literally forced her to stay with me and it still didn't work.”
Jisung’s hand hesitantly reached for one of Chenle's to uncover his face and meet his reddened, swollen eyes. “There has to be another way, Chenle.”
Chenle forced a weak smile. “Yeah? What would you do if your mate hated you so much she wanted to forget you and leave you behind?”
Jisung froze. His brain couldn't even phantom the idea of his mate leaving him. He had assumed once a wolf had bitten his partner they were bonded together forever. He had had a really hard time making you understand that he was serious about you and accepting him as a mate. But now he was finding out that not even the mark on your neck could secure you by his side.
“Why? Did she say something to you?” Jisung finally asked, tightening his grasp on Chenle’s wrist.
“No, why would your mate tell me–?” It was Chenle's turn to be confused. “She and I barely interact unless you're around. You know that.”
“Then why would you say that?” The younger wolf insisted, not letting go of the other.
“I was just asking what you would do if she wanted to leave–”
“She won't,” Jisung stated. “She fucking won't.”
“I'm not saying she will!” Chenle insisted, with a frustrated groan and forcing Jisung's fingers to let go of him. “I'm asking for advice! What would you do in this kind of situation?”
Jisung sat back and exhaled shakily, trying to get a grip. Right, you weren't actually leaving him. It was all hypothetical, because you would never ever do that to him. It was impossible, considering the way you looked at him with so much attention and adoration that he often forgot what he wanted to say and blushed like an idiot. Or the way you played with his hair when you cuddled. Or the way you stuttered whenever you paid close attention to his hands. Or the way your body arched when he touched you…
No, he was sure you would never do that to him. But if he ever found out you had such thoughts he would–
“Take her far away,” he murmured, still lost in his thoughts, and not even aware he was saying it out loud. “Somewhere no one else could find us. Just the two of us. And keep her there for as long as I have until she changes her mind. Make sure she needs me the way I need her. Baby trap her if I have to–”
“You're terrified of children,” Chenle pointed out, taking Jisung out of his trance.
JIsung blinked quickly and looked at Chenle with wide eyes. “Huh?”
“Being a dad scares you,” Chenle reminded him, arching his eyebrows inquisitively. “Yet you said you would… baby trap your mate?”
“B-baby–,” Jisung stuttered, blushing. “I didn't…I– did I?”
Chenle squinted at him, momentaneously forgetting about his own problem because something was clearly wrong with Jisung as well. “Are you having your rut anytime soon?”
“Yeah, I–this weekend probably, uh…yeah…”
“That's why you're saying weird things…” Chenle sighed. “You have the most possessive instinct I've ever seen in a werewolf.”
Jisung laughed awkwardly.
Chenle analyzed the younger man as he fidgeted on his chair. For a while now, he had been wondering if they were losing Jisung to his animal side because sometimes he did and said things that his introvert best friend would never.
Should he alert the others? Just in case?
His thoughts were interrupted by Jisung spilling beer all over his clothes and clumsily trying to clean up after himself. Chenle snorted and grabbed some tissues to help him.
What was he even thinking?
Jisung wasn't dangerous.
So Chenle pushed those thoughts away to focus on his own problems with his partner.
Jisung, on the other hand, couldn't stop thinking about that stupid hypothetical scenario. He kept telling himself that things were fine, that you had shown no sign of wanting to end things and that he had nothing to worry about.
Until the moment his rut was due.
You both had planned to spend it together in your apartment, because he was too shy to do it at his place, with the rest of the pack around. He showed up with a backpack with clothes and some essentials, trembling hands, and a light blush on his cheeks. The implications of what he was here to do made him feel dirty, but at the same time he had been anticipating this all week. His rut hadn’t started yet, but he was already feeling a little feverish and weak, so you made sure to take good care of him by drying his hair after a shower, feeding him something light, and cuddling him to sleep.
You caressed his face gently as he inhaled and exhaled peacefully. He was adorable. It was hard to believe he had presented as an alpha.
You pressed your thighs together at the memories flooding your head. You were feeling a bit needy since the moment he had shown up at your door, but you knew it was better to let him rest during pre-rut, so you pulled away and got up, walking out of the room quietly.
Grabbing your phone and your wallet, you decided to go to a store nearby before it was too late, so you could buy some extra snacks. Last time Jisung had devoured everything he could find in your kitchen once he wasn’t feeling horny anymore, so it was better to be prepared. But as soon as you opened the front door, it was slammed closed by Jisung, who was towering over you from behind.
“Where are you going?” his raspy deep voice asked, panting next to your ear.
“I–,” You tried to turn around to face him but he growled, so you stayed still. “I was g-gonna buy us some snacks–”
“We have plenty,” he said curtly. “You checked earlier.”
“We could get some more, you know, just in case?”
“In case of what?”
“In case you need more food? You’re a big boy and–”
“Man.”
Right, he hated you calling him that. “You’re a grown man,” you rephrased, stressing the word that seemed to be so important to him. “And you may get hungry.”
“Hungry?” he echoed, taking a step back to give you some space to turn around and look into your eyes. He didn’t seem to fully believe you.
“Yes. So don’t worry about it, and go back to bed, okay?” you said, pushing him lightly to guide him back to the bedroom.
But suddenly he grabbed your wrist and pulled you into the room with him, locking the door behind him and leaning on it as if he was guarding it.
“You can’t,” he said, barely audibly.
“What?” you asked, dumbfounded.
“You can’t leave me,” he clarified, speaking up slightly. “You s-said– you said you would spend my rut with me.”
“I–, it’s just the store…”
Lies.
“Lies,” Jisung repeated what the voice in his head told him.
“Wha– why would I lie about that?” you asked, cupping his face.
“You can’t forget me,” he pleaded.
“Forget you?”
“You regret this,” he rambles incoherently. “You regret us.”
“No!” you quickly reassured him, pressing your palm more firmly against his fevered cheeks. “Of course not! I love you.”
His gaze softened and he nosed your palm. “Promise?”
“I promise,” you whispered.
Jisung fought the voice in his head telling him that you’re deceiving him. That you’re waiting for him to lower his guard to sneak out and disappear forever.
With a pained groan he pulled you closer by your waist and kissed you urgently, hoping this would shut his wolf up. And it worked, for a moment, because he was very distracted by your tiny gasp and your fingertips grazing his nape.
But it came back quickly. As he walked you back to the bed and pushed you gently on it, his wolf insisted.
She’s playing dumb.
Jisung glared at you, but he didn’t see any malice in your flustered, confused, pretty face. He shook his head, as a way to tell his wolf that he was being stupid and got on top of you occupying himself by placing wet kisses on your neck and collarbone.
You’re a poor excuse of an alpha.
He growled, giving you goosebumps and wondering what had him so worked up.
You think she’ll stay with you, when you’ve barely presented?
She doesn’t actually see you as a man. You have to remind her all the time.
He sucked on your neck and dug his fingers into your waist.
“Jisungie…”
She’s leaving as soon as she finds out about the memory spell.
“Fuck,” he growled, and his fingertips were pressed a little bit too hard on your soft skin.
“Ji, hold on–” you winced, grabbing his hands and trying to soften his grip.
If you don’t do something, she’ll disappear.
“FUCK! I KNOW!” he exclaimed, grabbing your wrists and holding them above your head, catching you by surprise.
You look up at him with wide eyes, wondering what you have done to upset him. His furious expression switches to a remorseful one.
“I–uh…I wasn’t yelling at you, noona…”
“...Then who?” you barely whispered.
“Me…I mean, not me, but…that side of me,” he mumbled.
You gulp and try to free your hands, but his grip tightens. “What is that side of you saying?”
He shook his head. “Nothing, it’s dumb,” he said quickly.
“It’s not dumb if it makes you react like this,” you insist.
He keeps quiet, biting his lip. “Just…don’t go, kay?” he finally says.
You nod. “If we need more food I’ll just order some.”
“No, I don’t mean–,” he sighed. “Not just the store. I mean…in general.”
“Ji, I’m your girlfriend,” you rolled your eyes. “And I literally have your mark on my neck. Where would I go?”
“What if there was a way to leave me, even after being marked?”
“Like what?” you asked, genuinely curious, but he mistook your curiosity for eagerness.
“Why do you want to know so badly?” he asked with an accusatory tone.
“Oh my god, Jisung,” you laughed incredulously. “You are the one who brought it up! I just asked a question!”
“Don’t laugh at me, noona,” he warned you, but his voice broke.
At that moment you understood that his pre-rut was probably messing with his head and that he really thought you wanted to leave him.
“How can I prove it to you?” you asked him seriously. “What can I do?”
He licked his lips and his reddened eyes traveled from your face to your captive hands. “I don’t know if it would prove anything, but… it would make me feel…better.”
“Anything,” you encouraged him. “Just tell me what it is.”
“Okay, uh…I’m gonna– c-can you close your eyes?” he asked nervously. “And don’t move,” he added when he freed your hands.
You nodded and closed your eyes, trying to comply with his simple requests, knowing that he was in a very vulnerable state and needed as much reassurance as possible. You felt his presence gone when he got up, his hurried steps, the zipper of his backpack, and what sounded like him looking for something. Then, he hurried back, and you felt the warmth emanating from his body on top of yours, while something tickled your wrists and then, a sudden click sound made you snap your eyes open.
“Jisung?” you opened your eyes to see his hungry gaze fixated on your wrists, which you couldn’t move. You looked up to see both of your hands handcuffed to the bed frame, with a pink fluffy pair of cuffs adorning your wrists like bracelets. “Ji, what–”
“Haechan hyung gave these to me,” he said, sitting back to appreciate the view. “I know he was just trying to mess with me when he packed them in my bag, but…they ended up being useful…”
You laughed nervously. You had never had your movements restricted in this type of context, and Jisung being the one to do it was unexpected. “Ji, there’s no need for this. I told you I won’t go anywhere.”
“Yeah,” he agreed, touching the cuffs and grazing your forearm delicately. “Now you won’t.”
“Then how am I going to touch you?” you pouted, trying to reason with him.
He halted and frowned. He hadn’t considered that. He really liked you touching him, but was it safe to uncuff you now?
Absolutely not.
“Later,” he declared.
“Later when?”
He bit his lip. For him, later meant when your legs were trembling so much you wouldn’t be able to go anywhere. “Later,” he repeated.
“Can I at least get a kiss, then?” you asked.
“...You want that?”
“Do I want to kiss my handsome boyfriend? Duh, of course, Ji!”
A timid smile formed on his lips. For a moment he forgot all the negative thoughts that had plagued his mind and all he saw was you, pliant under him, wanting him, loving him.
He leaned closer and placed a soft kiss on your lips, delighted at the way you immediately whined when he pulled away.
“Want more?”
You nodded and he kissed you again, licking your bottom lip suggestively only to pull away again when you parted your lips.
“Ji…”
“Hm?”
“More…”
He complied, kissing you slowly and sensually, occasionally pulling away only to hear you whine and press his lips on yours more urgently than before.
But of course his wolf wasn’t done tormenting him.
She’s trying to free herself.
His hands flew to your wrists to check that the cuffs hadn’t magically opened during your makeout session.
“What are you doing?” he asked agitatedly, as the insecurities started coming back.
“Kissing you?” you breathed out confusedly.
Distracting you.
“You keep pulling at the cuffs,” he said, looking at you like you with wide eyes, like you had betrayed him.
“I didn’t– I didn’t even notice, I–..I just wanted to feel you closer…”
You could tell by his conflicted expression that he didn’t believe it.
“Ji, don’t you trust me?”
His eyes widened and he withdrew his hands. “I…I trust you but…”
He stared at you, opening and closing his mouth dumbly. He trusted you. He loved you. But his stupid rut was making him dumb and his wolf kept telling him that you were still trying to distract him. Maybe it would shut up if he was the one distracting you instead.
Before you could ask him to explain what was wrong, he repositioned himself between your legs and took off your shorts swiftly.
You gasped and tried to close your legs out of reflex, but he held them open effortlessly by grabbing your knees, his eyes fixated on the wet patch on your panties.
“Ji?”
He let out a sound between a moan and a relieved sigh. You were turned on because of him. You weren’t lying when you said you wanted him. He caressed your mound with his fingertips, barely grazing the fabric, but it was enough to have your legs flinching.
Taste her.
Fuck yes, they finally agreed on something. He nodded quickly (to what, you didn’t know) and removed the tiny piece of clothing from you before diving in. He made out with your folds gently, adding his tongue to the formula encouraged by your moans.
“You’re so good at this, Jisungie…” you praised, lost in pleasure.
He moaned and humped the bed, sucking a bit harder.
“Ah!” you gasped, opening your legs wider for him. “Can tell you ate out a lot of girls…”
He shook his head absentmindedly, unconsciously creating a new pattern with his tongue that made you see stars.
“No?” you insisted. “Are you sure?”
His eyebrows furrowed, and he detached his lips from your center to look up at you, confused. Why were you talking about other girls? “What?”
“Just a thought…” you murmured, looking away, a little embarrassed. This was something that had bugged you since your first time with him, but you hadn’t been dating for long and there had been no chance to bring it up. He knew about your past with Jaehyun, but he never mentioned anything about his previous partners. It shouldn’t matter, but you were so curious…and maybe a bit insecure. Now you felt silly. “It’s nothing–”
“Tell me,” he commanded. His voice was soft, but firm.
You sighed. “Remember our first time together?”
He hummed and kissed your inner thigh. How could he forget?
“Well…you uh…acted like you knew exactly what to do…”
He blushed. “Oh…”
“Yep…” you nodded, waiting for him to admit to his promiscuous past.
“I just–I read online what girls like…” he hesitated. “I watched some videos too…I wasn’t too sure about what you would be into, so I just did whatever that felt right…”
“There’s no way that was the first time you gave someone head,” you said incredulously.
“It was…”
“You even made me sit on your face!”
He groaned, pressing his hips harder on the mattress at the memory. “Did you like it?”
“Y-yes, but…”
“It was so good…” he whispered, going back to flicking your clit with the tip of his tongue.
“Oh…” you arched your back and tried to remember what you were talking about.
“T-then…to the other girls, the ones before me–”
“There’s no one before you,” he said between licks.
“R-right, like a guy like you doesn’t–ah! d-doesn’t have girls lining up to suck you off…”
He paused and looked up at you again. “Noona, are you…jealous?”
You could feel your ears getting hot at the accusation and looked away.
“You are!” he exclaimed. He sounded relieved. Happy even.
She’s possessive of you too.
The sound of his laugh angered you a little, but you couldn’t think of a comeback with the way he suddenly sucked your clit into his mouth and moaned loudly.
“AH! F-fuck!” you moaned, fighting the cuffs uselessly.
He circled your clit with his tongue a few times before going down a little to circle your entrance. You squealed when his tongue entered you, drinking all you had to offer. His eyes rolled back when he felt you contracting around the slippery muscle, and he went deeper, rubbing his nose on your clit just enough to make you come with a gasp, releasing directly in his mouth.
He licked you clean softly until your legs were shaking, landing one last kiss on your hip and resting his head on your stomach before he spoke again. “You’re the only one I’ve done this with, noona.”
You breathed out shakily. “What about o-other things?”
“Went on a few dates when I was a teen. Nothing serious,” he admitted. “And there was this girl…she gave me a handjob a couple of years ago…”
You felt your stomach drop. Jealousy really was an ugly feeling. But you tried not to sound too disappointed. “Oh, that’s…nice…”
“I moaned your name,” he confessed.
“You WHAT?!”
“I had already imprinted on you,” he mumbled, drawing figures with his finger on your belly. “I was really horny but you wouldn’t even look at me. I thought it wouldn’t hurt to try…maybe gain some experience…but it didn’t feel good and I uh– couldn’t cum until I thought about you and then–yeah…”
“...That’s it?”
“Well, she told everyone I was small down there after that incident, so not many girls tried to approach me. I didn’t want anyone else so it worked out great, I guess…” he murmured, kissing his way back to your center. “And then I finally got to make you mine…”was the last thing he said before he started eating you out again.
“Jisung! Hold on, w-wait–” you squirmed under him, because there was no way he was planning to keep going when you were still sensitive from the previous orgasm.
“Don’t move,” he groaned.
“I think one w-was enough–ah!”
“But you said I was good,” he reasoned, giving you a long lick.
“Y-you are, Ji, you’re s’ good b-but– Oh, my g-god!” you moaned when he gave your clit little kitten licks that added to the painful pleasure. “Jisung, Jisungie, please–”
He circled your thighs with his arms and sucked hard, chuckling when you screamed his name.
She’s perfect like this.
“Ji, p-please, please,” you mumbled, shaking like a leaf at the new orgasm approaching too fast, too strong, too much–”JISUNG! F–...Aaah!”
He hummed, approving of the embarrassing sound that escaped your lips as you came in record time because of him. He rutted the bed and his dick twitched at the thought of doing it again and again–
“Jisungie, no m-more…” you begged, tugging at the cuffs desperately.
He sighed and climbed up to grab your wrists. “Stop that,” he warned you. “I told you already: you can’t leave.”
“I’m not trying to leave,” you whined.
“Then stop squirming and let me make you feel good,” he said, trying to go down on you again only for you to quickly close your legs and turn to your side. “Noona!”
You shook your head and he growled, easily manhandling your legs open for him to fit between them once again.
“Enough,” he said, his voice sounding deeper, dangerous. His red eyes and his body temperature made it clear that his rut was about to start, and his alpha instinct was not happy with your behavior. “You’re my mate,” he reminded you, like you could ever forget that.
You nodded.
She’s yours.
“You’re mine,” he said, pinching the soft skin of your thigh.
“Y-yes…,” you whimpered.
You can–
“--Taste you as many times as I want,” he declared, starting to lower his head again.
“BUT–But I want to taste you too,” you said quickly.
Jisung visually malfunctioned, halting his movement and looking at you with wide eyes, then frowning like he thought you may be deceiving him.
“Please, Ji, don’t you want my mouth?”
He could feel the precum staining his pajama pants. “Noona’s mouth?”
Instead of replying, you parted your lips, opening wide and sticking your tongue out slightly, all while maintaining eye contact with him and being cuffed to the bed. No video online had prepared Jisung for such a view.
He had never moved so fast in his life, straddling your chest and pulling the elastic of his pants down just enough for his erection to pop out.
“Want it,” he panted, placing his hips closer to your face. When he felt the first lick on the tip he moaned loudly, grabbing onto the very same bed frame you were cuffed to for support. “Yes, noona, please– Oh!”
You circled the head with your tongue playfully before bobbing your head slightly, loving the way his abdomen contracted and his head fell back in pleasure.
“I love your mouth so much, noona–” he rambled, trying his best (and failing miserably) not to thrust his hips into the delicious warmth.”C-can you take some more?? Just a little–Ooohh yes, yes–Ah!”
You felt a little bad for all those girls who blindly believed he had a small dick and avoided him in the past, because they clearly missed out, but at the same time you were thankful that only you could see him like this. You had never been too possessive but for him… you obviously were.
He lowered his hips even more, caging you under him and starting to fuck into your mouth. “I’m gonna—just ah…just like this– you don’t mind, yeah, noona?”
You moaned, making his legs tremble due to the pleasurable vibrations. “Fuuuck,” he groaned, grabbing your hair with one of his hands to keep you in place as he went faster, deeper. “Yeah, noona, like t-that ah, ah, haa…” he let out a whimper when you gagged.
It felt so good he just had to use his other hand too, now grabbing your head with both of them to bring you impossibly closer. You choked and teared up when your nose touched his navel, and nothing could describe the bliss that took over him, finally cumming down your throat with a deep groan.
“Oh–Ooohhh, f-fuck…”
You coughed and whined when he finally let go of your head, trying to calm down the burning sensation in your throat. Once the tears subsided and you were able to focus again, you noticed that your boyfriend’s hard cock was still on your face, as he jerked off furiously.
“Haa, haa…” he panted heavily, getting off at the beautiful sight under him.
“Jisung–” you were interrupted by your own gasp at the drops landing on your face.
“Aaah!” he moaned, forcing himself to keep his eyes open to watch his cum paint your face. “Pretty, s-so pretty…” he sighed, finally slowing down to a stop and climbing off you…and going straight back to eating you out.
“NO!” You shrieked, squirming and kicking.
“You’re wet again,” he pointed out, not bothered by your aimless kicks, still licking your folds.
“Of course I’m wet! I’m with you,” you tried to defend yourself.
He let out a soft moan. “You can’t say something like that and not expect me to pleasure you until you go numb.”
“I want you to fuck me!” you whined, making him malfunction for the second time in a day.
“Yeah?” he breathed out, boring his eyes into you.
“Please, alpha,fuck me–”
You didn’t need to tell him twice. Actually, you couldn’t even finish the sentence before he was sitting up and sliding into you, causing you to let out a broken moan. It had been a couple of weeks since you last had him inside of you like this. Not because you weren’t horny, but because he insisted on letting you rest as much as possible before his rut to avoid hurting you. But what he achieved instead was to make both of you lose your minds as soon as he entered you.
“Haa…” he let out a shaky breath, pulling out and pushing back in weakly, fighting the dizziness that took over his body.
You tugged again, desperately wanting to touch him. “Ji, take these off,” you begged.
He shook his head. “I like you like this,” he admitted, fucking into you again.
You whined. “I want them off!” you insisted.
“And I want to keep you tied to the bed forever,” he whispered, drunk in pleasure and lust, accelerating the movement of his hips to have you moaning weakly. “Pumping you full again, a-and again–Mmh…waking you up with m-my tongue that y-you like aah…you like s’much…”
You curled your legs around his waist, bringing your bodies closer together and he sobbed.
“N-noona…Close–” he admitted, embarrassed. There was something so arousing about having you so vulnerable under him, with no choice but to take everything he gave you.
Pups.
He gasped and stilled his hips, much to your dismay. You tried to move under him, tried to make him hit that spot again, but he quickly grabbed your hips too and kept them in place.
“One s-second, noona…” he said with a pained tone.
“It’s okay, Ji, I’m close too,” you assured him, not knowing what the real problem was.
“That’s not–”
Give her your pups.
“Oh, fuck,” he whispered, looking at your belly.
Now, before she tries to leave again.
He quickly looked at your wrists which already had some marks due to the chaffing of the cuffs, and then back at your stomach.
“Jisung?” you asked nervously. Something was off with him since he arrived. He looked like he was constantly fighting something, but what?
He finally looked into your eyes, and his were clouded with tears.
“What’s wrong?” you asked.
“Do your wrists hurt?” he asked back, his voice barely audible.
“Oh,” you had forgotten about it for a minute. “Just a little,” you admitted. “But if it makes you feel more at ease…”
As soon as you said you felt pain, even if it was just a little, he reached for the key on the nightstand and unlocked the handcuffs. He waited anxiously for your next move, but you immediately grabbed onto him, pulling his upper body towards you and hugging him tightly.
You felt him sigh on your neck and pepper it with kisses. “You’re staying?”
“Of course I am,” you said. “Do you trust me?” you asked once again.
He nodded.
“Then I want you to relax and let me do something, okay?”
He nodded again, but he tensed when he felt you push against his chest.
“It’s okay,” you assured him.
He slowly relaxed and let you move, and in a few seconds you had him on his back with you on top, his hard cock still pulsating inside of you. With wild eyes, he moaned softly at the sight. Having you under him was hot, but you on top was crazy. He didn’t think he could choose. His hands immediately held onto your waist as you started bouncing on his cock hard and fast. If he was close before, he was going to explode now.
Cum inside.
He whined, but he didn’t have the strength nor the will to stop you. Instead, he thrust up into you, trying to ignore his wolf’s words. He looked up at you, eyes full of doubt.
“Wanna cum inside, baby boy?” you purred, feeling your climax approach again.
Yesyesyesyes…
His mouth opened into a silent moan, and he nodded.
You smiled and leaned in for a kiss, moaning as he held you in place to take his thrusts.
Fuck her until it takes.
He shook his head. “Noona’s on the pill,” he mumbled against your lips, licking your lips and swallowing your moans while saying (what you thought were) incoherent words. “‘s okay, it;s okay it’s…It’s s-safe…”
“That’s what’s been bothering you?” you laughed softly, kissing his cheek lovingly. “It’s not the first t-time we do this, y-you know it’s safe–AH!”
It wasn’t the first time you slept together, but it was the first time his wolf asked asked for pups and Jisung was freaking out because now was a terrible moment to be a dad but —
“Noona, noona, noona–oh, oh, oh–OOOHH!”
He let go, and his knot finally started forming, keeping you both in place while he filled you with his seed, and his wolf purred with delight. You rutted against his pelvis a couple of times until your own body trembled with pleasure, collapsing on top of him and into his arms. He held you tightly and let you rest for a bit. After all, this had just been his pre-rut. You both needed to rest before the actual rut started.
Pups…
He nodded, smiling dumbly and allowing himself to enjoy this fantasy only this time.
synopsis: you've always found working in pairs easier than working by yourself, sharing success or demise with another person was easier than being a loner like most of your colleagues were. but, when your partner in crime dies, you realise just how dangerous the life you're living is, so you try to quit and disappear.
it's not easy leaving the criminal world behind, especially when you're a paid assassin who knows too much about the job and the dark secrets of powerful people. and that's why jaehyun is sent over to find you. and kill you.
word count: 0.9k for teaser (estimated 20k+ words for full fic)
release date: november 24
contains: physical violence, gore, alcohol abuse, angst, smut, weapon talk, minor characters deaths. more warnings to be added when the fic comes out.
author's note: this idea made a lot of sense with jaehyun, every time i listen to this song i get reminded of scenes from kill bill and that's my favourite film, so i had to act on it. there's no one more perfect than jaehyun for the hitman role. you'll see words such as 'scorpion', 'viper', and 'butcher' in the teaser, just know that they are categories and it'll all be extensively explained in the fic once it's out.
TAGLIST: join here! or check out the series' general taglist here!
playlist: goodnight moon by shivaree
series masterlist: click here for jukebox sundays!
There’s a sense of heaviness in your chest as you lay unmoving on the old bed of your hotel room, your ears ring and your mind runs lapses trying to hear anything suspicious coming from the hallway or the floors above. Anything that you can take as a sign to leave this city as soon as possible.
The anxiety you’ve developed since leaving the circle weakens your abilities and senses a bit, and you were one of the best on the field. Able to control your pulse, breathing, you never experienced having an annoying and constant ringing in your ears as you try to decipher silence. You never had to lay down on a bed in order to allow the ringing to subside and your pulse to calm down. And you’ve never experienced such strong paranoia, not even when they were training you in the mountains to get an elite assassin out of you.
And how could you not be paranoid, after they made you leave five countries already? You’ve seen them all, the signs. The hints thrown at you that they’ve found you, but the worst thing of all is not knowing who exactly is after you.
Who is it that your former boss sent after you? It’s important, because it’s over for you if they sent a knife expert — or worse, a butcher. Ning trained you intensely during your free time in order to perfect your skills so you could be on her level, and you know what scorpions and butchers are capable of. Ning gave up being a scorpion, being the best at using knives out of the entire team, just for you. To be able to be a viper with you.
You hear heavy footsteps thumping on the carpeted hallway outside, but you don’t pay too much mind to that. Someone from your field would never make that much noise, you could probably expect to have a gun to your temple even right now while laying in bed, whilst you try to wait for another sign, they could enter your room and you wouldn’t even know it.
You’re once again in your own head, thinking about Ning and how it ended for her, the signs you’ve noticed in the past two months that you were being followed and that they found you yet they let you live a little longer before they make you disappear off the surface of the earth. And then you hear it, the imperceptible click of your door’s lock, gradually and carefully being picked.
You jump off the bed trying to be as light as possible, leaping towards the massive bookshelf fixed on the wall on the left side of your bed, where you carefully planted a loaded gun in case you heard any type of suspicious movement outside your door and windows. You crouch down, on top of the bookshelf, holding your gun with steady hands as you wait for your assassin to enter your room.
In the pitch black room, with only the moonlight seeping through the open curtains, you don’t hear any footsteps or rustling of clothes, but you spot a man’s silhouette stepping carefully around the bed. A car parks outside your window, and the car lights briefly land on the man’s features, making you freeze. Deathstalker? They sent a damn scorpion after you.
Even with the moonlight as your only source of lightning, it is enough for you to make out his movements, and it’s like your senses are once again as sharp as they used to be, because you can see everything perfectly. Like having night vision.
He reaches for the spot on your bed, the spot you were laying on, and touches it, checking its warmth to understand how long you’ve stayed there.
You feel a numbing pain in your foot sole due to the stupid position you’re crouched down in, and you try moving half an inch to the right in order to be a tiny bit more comfortable until he decides to act — and you'll need to be ready — but your heart drops to your stomach when your ankle pops from the small movement.
Fuck, shit, motherfucking-fuck-shit.
And you see him stopping his hand on the bedspread, keeping himself unmoving in the same position, and you hear him giggle.
“Oh, baby, baby” he laughs lightly, straightening his back slowly to turn around and look at you, all perched on the bookshelf with your head nearly touching the ceiling. “Seems like the lost months of physical training really got to your ankle, huh?” He lets his usual deep laugh fill the room, mocking you.
“Shut up, Jaehyun” you retort through gritted teeth. “Don’t call me baby when I have a loaded gun pointed to your head,” you threaten him, but he only smiles back.
“Why are you here?” You ask, trying to buy some more time. Especially because you don’t see him holding not even one of his knives, and you don't like unpredictability. But again, he could have some shuriken up his sleeve.
“I think you know why I’m here, Y/n,” he answers with a sombre tone.
Of course you know why he’s here. “I’ve been waiting for you,” you mumble.
ATTENTION!: if you filled the taglist form between august 19-21, please fill it once again, or fill the one linked on this post. the form linked previously on the series' masterlist was the wrong one and i won’t be able to tag you.
you couldn’t help but to continue to text your boyfriend who passed, so when his old number finally gets used, lee jeno can’t help but want you to continue to text him to help.
summary: ➸ ♡ To say that Lee Jeno is pretty would be an understatement. The man's gorgeous. One thing he uses to his advantage, going through college getting girls he spots his eyes on. But there's one he just couldn't get. His brother's bestfriend. You can continue and avoid your feelings for each other, but eventually, it'll happen. You were someone that stayed, a constant in his life. You might not know it, but for the years you've known Lee Jeno, he slowly became yours, inevitably.
"I should've known it was you, because no one else made sense."
GENRE: Angst, Fluff, Humour, Smut
WARNINGS: Minors DNI, Explicit Sexual Content, Language, Slight Alcoholism, Mentions of Drugs/Weed, fuckboy!Jeno, brothersbsf!reader
AUTHOR's NOTE: Holy shit, it's done! I was about to pull all my hairs off for this one :// but i can finally say that it's all worth it! I hope y'all are still here. And I really wish y'all would like this story. Enjoy reading!
WC: 18 k (I tried my best)
DISCLAIMER: This story is purely fanfiction. Only the names of the Idols are used, and does not reflect on them in real life. There's no way in any shape of form that they are like this in person, because I MADE IT UP. I don't personally know them. DO NOT STEAL / TRANSLATE / MODIFY. This is my work and I don't appreciate people stealing it. Thank you.
Enjoy reading! -ryo
Lee Jeno is a phenomenon.
Jeno, on the other hand, likes to think he’s just a pretty boy who kinda knows how to dribble.
Maybe he’s not bad in the actual learning part too, maybe he did get an award for the research paper he did on Biochemistry last year. Maybe he won MVP on three consecutive basketball tournaments, making history in his school as the only player to excel in both the sports and academics.
So yeah. He’s a textbook definition of an A-list student that you would totally see in one of the frames along the halls of this very school in about thirty years, with the trophies and accolades he made during his time here.
You wanna hear what’s even more annoying?
He’s hot. And he knows it. Please, he’s so undeniably gorgeous it's starting to hurt.
Unlike his friends, Jeno keeps it on the down-low. Which was surprising because he had every right to be cocky and brag about all of his achievements but he’s the least show-y among his friends.
In Jeno’s defense, he likes to let his performance do all the talking.
Words on the street says he fucks like an incubus, but talks like an angel. He’s proven to be hung, emphasizing the word proven, based on the girls he had walking side to side after he spent a good, long night with them.
But despite all of that, he’s pretty cool and quiet most of the time.
Which is even more attractive. According to a study based on no-actual-facts, girls tend to like the quiet ones more. Especially when they look like a greek god that managed to escape mythology and then learned to be a legend in basketball instead. In simplified terms, girls like Lee Jeno.
Naturally, of course, girls are all over him. That's something really common between the four of his friends, and you're not shocked that Jeno sleeps around-- because he just can. Girls will literally faint in front of him if they could, just to get his attention.
“Don’t make a sound,” he whispered, desperately trying to finish while a girl, known as Jennie, was bent over the counter. His hands covered her mouth, and to be frank, he just want this to be over with.
And of course, in typical fashion, Jennie is also a name most of the students are familiar with. Cheerleading captain, arguably a girl that’s expected to be with him. What makes it so easy, is that this girl is obsessed with Jeno.
Meanwhile Jeno, had no indication of being tied down. He likes hanging out with her sometimes, sure, but the girl’s way too much for him. Jeno likes being lowkey, despite being one of the most famous guy in campus, Jeno preferred to be outside the spotlight.
A couple more thrust, his eyes closed, mind far from the girl bent over in front of him who’s just desperately wanting to pleasure him, Jeno finishes. He murmured a curse, and as soon as the feeling of cumming washes off, guilt starts creeping in his veins as Jennie smiled in satisfaction as she fixes her uniform.
“God, you’re still so fucking good,” Jennie put her hands around Jeno’s neck, biting her lips in hopes to seduce the cold man in front of her.
“Come on, my brother’s gonna be here soon,” Jeno shrugged her hands off, fixing his shirt. He did not even get the chance to take it off, Jennie just went and got what she wanted as soon as she enters the apartment.
Don’t be mistaken tho, Jeno liked having sex, more so with a girl like Jennie. But Jeno’s consciousness can’t help and tell him that he’s stringing along this girl, knowing full well he’s not even one bit interested in pursuing a relationship with her.
Jennie never really cared about what he thinks tho, so that kinds of shaves a bit off of his guilt.
“Call me, okay?” Jennie tried to give him a kiss, but he’s fast enough to dodge it.
Jeno sighed as he walked the girl to the door. And in some wicked timing, his brother opened it, his step stuttering as he saw Jennie, but never minded the fact that the girl is walking side to side. Jisung, his brother, have seen this situation way too much before that it doesn’t shock him anymore.
Another footstep followed behind Jisung, You, not even sparing a glance over him, walking behind his brother. You looked bored, giving absolutely no interest over him or Jennie. He never really got bothered about it before. He’s just wondering when you started ignoring his existence like this.
You were nothing like the girl he witnessed growing up all these years.
The sweet smiles you used to offer him were all gone. The once cute little y/n that he knew were long gone. But what can he do, that’s just how it goes. Right?
People change. And you weren't an exception. But deep inside, Jeno has this unsettling sensation that hunts him at night. This isn’t you. You used to light up the room whenever you walked in. You used to make him believe in butterflies and rainbows and shit, but now, you’re just… there.
Jeno often wonders. But that’s about it. He’s way too much of a pussy to actually read through your chapters that led into this character you have now. So Jeno, the ever so nonchalant, settles in being curious– not concerned in finding answers.
୧ ‧₊˚ ☆
You were twelve, when you met Jisung.
At first, you’re confused. There’s a new family that moved in next door. It was a common occurrence in your neighborhood, really. In your very-long life experience of twelve years, you’ve seen countless families moving in and out. So you question in your pretty little head why your Mom is way too excited about this next one.
Turns out, the family that will be moving in is your Mom’s best friend. You were twelve, you did not care about your Moms friends like that. Apparently, they’ve been best friends ever since they were five. They just kept in touch all these years.
“I'm Jisung,” the little boy, an inch taller than you, reached out his peculiarly large hands at you.
You felt your Mom nudge you a little bit, so in annoyance, you accepted his hand. “Y/n.”
Both mothers shrieked in excitement, but you were busy trying to examine this boy's hands.
Little did you know, that handshake would lead to years of friendship that you’d forever cherish, no matter how annoying this boy with freakishly large hands is.
“Who’s that?” You ask, still helping Jisung to count all his pokemon cards. You point outside their house, by the courtside next to their pool.
Jisung looks, but rolls his eyes after. “That’s my big brother, Jeno-hyung. He’s obsessed with basketballs.”
Your little twelve year old eyes sparkle, watching the boy shoot hoops around the court.
“Ew, you like boys?!” Jisung, disgusted.
“Your brother isn’t a boy, You’re a boy. He’s a man.” You sigh dreamily in sight of Jeno, making Jisung gag.
“He’s old, like, fourteen. Please, he’s a loser! Playing with balls all day,” Jisung says as he waves his hands in an attempt to distract you from his brother.
“Oh well…” you didn’t let it falter your adoration towards Jeno.
And before you could even watch him longer than you wished, Jisung’s mother called you two in for clubhouse sandwiches, and she made banger sandwiches so you really had to follow up to the kitchen.
You were fourteen, when you realized you had a crush on Jisung’s big brother.
“That’s bullshit, the paranormal movie is full of crap!” Chenle, your new found friend, complains as soon as the movie ends. His high pitched voice woke you up, not even realizing you had slept halfway through the movie.
“Dude, it’s from CCTV footage. It’s definitely true!” Jisung counters, and you just want to go back to sleep again.
The Paranormal Movie was mediocre, and maybe you were just a sceptic, but ghosts just doesn’t do it for you. “Most of these horror films really just depend on jumpscares to be scary.”
“Oh, coming from Miss Little poopy pants over here,”
The room went silence over Jisung’s attempt at a clapback, you and Chenle looking at each other before breaking into a laughing pit.
“Poopy pants? Really?” You say, refusing to believe that Jisung still used that term as an insult.
Jisung, obviously flustered, resorted in grabbing two cushions, one at each hands and started throwing them at the both of you.
“Just get the freaking potato chips downstairs.” Jisung says, specifically to you.
“What? No! I’m not going down there!” You say, as you bury yourself further on Jisung’s bed.
“Because you’re scared?” Chenle, in a mocking tone. You flip him off, to try and cover the fact that you are scared because it’s night time and the lights are off.
“No, ghosts aren’t real. Why can’t Chenle go?” You whine even more.
“He already got the drinks, and this is my house so what I say goes!” Jisung grabbed your wrist and pulled you out of the bed.
And because you like proving your point that ghosts aren’t real, you let out a grunt, stomping your way out of Jisung's room.
Your way down the stairs goes smoothly, the light still being on. But as soon as you turn to the dark kitchen, that’s when it creeps in. Yes, you do not believe in ghosts, but you’d be fooling yourself if you say that being alone in the large empty kitchen didn’t scare you.
“Oh, god.” You whisper to yourself, as you desperately find the chips cabinet. Rummaging through as quiet as possible, but also trying to find it as soon as possible.
But when a noise from the table interrupts the creepy silence, you can’t help but yelp out a scream.
“Oh my gosh!”
You turn your head towards the table, just to find a cute little cat that had lost its way through the big surface.
“Thank God it was just a little cat,” you say in relief, but as soon as you try and step closer to it, a name being called from the stairs can be heard.
“Bongsik-ah!”
So it has a name. Bongsik.
A figure walks down the stairs, obviously, being Jeno.
You immediately fold into yourself, biting your lip as soon as he enters the kitchen.
“What are you doing down here?” He says as he carries the cat off the table and on his chest. It took a couple of seconds for him to look at you, and he smiles.
“Y/n-ie. Do you need something from the kitchen?” His soft voice snaps you from the trance, as he helps you with the chips you were trying to get from the upper cabinet. His body was so close to you as he did so, that you swear you can feel his heart beating.
“Y-yeah.. Just those chips. Thanks.” Your entire demeanor changes when it comes to him.
“Here you go,” He says softly, you wonder if he intentionally talks to you like that, or it’s just how he talks. A little bit inside you likes to believe you’re special and that he does this only to you.
“Thanks, uh– new cat?” You say in the most casual tone you could ever produce.
“Yep, a rescue. Mom brought it home the other day. Jisung freaked,” He chuckles as he looks at the cat, snuggling in his chest.
You awe in sight, wanting to pet the cat but you hesitated at first.
“You can pet it,” Jeno moves his body to yours, to allow you to pet Bongsik. You did so, and when the cat purrs at your touch, you gasp in awe.
“Hi Bongsik,” you say in a whisper, intended for the cat only. But you can feel Jeno smile at you.
“You can visit her everyday, not that you’re not here everyday, but she’s gonna be here starting now..”
“She’s adorable,” you say, still petting the cat in his arms.
“I love cats, any pet really. But cats just really bring out the inner softness in me, y’know?” Him being this close to you feels weird and intimate, but it's not like you hate it. Your heart is practically doing jumping-jacks right now.
You use him focusing on Bongsik as an excuse to look at him, even just a glance.
You get a closer look on his face, the mole he has under his left eye, the thin lips and his perfect nose. In the two seconds you allow yourself to take a peek, you convince yourself that you had his features memorized now.
You can just feel that it’s just gonna live with you forever.
Because as he takes Bongsik away and starts walking back up the stairs, you make a big-girl realization that you do have a crush on Lee Jeno.
୧ ‧₊˚ ☆
Jeno was woken up by the sound of his phone ringing. It was his brother, Jisung, calling in the middle of the night asking for his keys.
“What do you need my car for?” Jeno, frustrated as he grabs his keys from the night stand.
“My car broke down and Y/N really needs to get home.” Jisung on the other line also sounded like he just woke up. Jeno curses under his breath.
This wasn’t the first time he heard his brother in trouble with you being the main source of chaos. It’s always the same thing. Either you’re black-out drunk, or one of your boyfriends has dumped you on the side of the street.
Over the years, you had changed so drastically it almost gave him a whiplash. You used to be so careful and so paranoid about drinking, waiting until you turn 18 to get a sip of alcohol. And when you did, it’s like you never stopped.
So despite Jeno’s interrupted slumber, he gets up and leaves his shared apartment with his friends, just to wait outside his building for his brother. And surely, just like every other time this has happened before, he finds Jisung standing there in the cold.
“I need my car tomorrow, in pristine condition. One scratch and you’re done,” Jeno, tossing the car keys to his brother.
Jisung didn’t bother to answer, depicting the reality of brotherhood. But before Jisung could leave, Jeno turns to him.
“What happened this time?”
“She’s really–”
“Drunk?” Jeno finishes his sentence, as if he had seen this before. Jisung sighs in agreement.
“--yeah, and Chenle’s drunk too so he can’t drive her back to the apartment.”
“What happened to her? She isn’t really like this, at all.” Jeno dared to indulge in one of his curiosities.
“I’ve been asking the same question, hyung.” Jisung ends the conversation without really answering Jeno’s question, which frustrated him more.
Because of course, nobody really knows what happened. It’s a question he needs to ask you, directly. Only if you didn’t spend the last few years avoiding being on the same vicinity as him, then maybe he could actually talk to you.
“Three seconds left on the clock, Lee, for the three.. He shoots… and bang! Lee Jeno has done it again!”
Jeno thinks it’s getting way too easy for him. Winning at this point just felt like a routine for him. The new normal, it’s just how it goes around him now. Everytime the other team makes a mistake of letting him have the ball, the game ends with Jeno taking home the win.
Honestly, it’s getting pretty boring and predictable.
“That’s my fuckin’ man!” Yangyang, one of his teammates, excitedly hugs Jeno as he entered yet again another victory party for his team. It’s his second one this semester.
“Okay, dude, chill.” Jeno pushes the very drunk Yangyang away, afraid of getting thrown up on.
As he sinks his feet deeper into the party, he starts getting loose. The alcohol hitting the tense spot in his body, reminding him that fuck it, he’s the man of the evening. This party is for him. So why not have fun, right?
The music starts to sound less chaotic and more tolerable, and the people start to get blurry. Weed and alcohol really does the trick, Jeno thinks.
“Jeno, the man of the hour! That game was lit!” Jeno’s not sure who’s this man, but nevertheless, he still smiled at him and let him dap him up. He blabbers more and more about Jeno’s career path in professional basketball but just like always, Jeno just dismiss it.
It’s too early to plan for the future. He’s enjoying what he has now and content on just thinking about what happens today.Tomorrow is tomorrow’s problem, and he can’t be bothered to be bothered about what his future brings.
Some people likes to think they know what’s best for Jeno, and sometimes it does make sense, Jeno getting to the professional basketball league, in tune to what he does best now. But fuck that. Jeno doesn’t want to be in a box full of other people’s expectation of him.
“Jaemin’s not here?” Jeno finds relief to hear Renjun’s voice, one of his very few trusted people. In some way, knowing Renjun was here by his side, it made him feel that he’s okay.
“Yeah.. he’s still locking himself out.” Jeno answers.
Jaemin was his best friend first, and he knows Jaemin well. And for the first time, he knows Jaemin really do need time for himself. This isn’t something Jeno could fix, he knows when to step away. So he lets Jaemin be.
“Haechan?”
Jeno saw Haechan earlier but he’s not sure where he is now. That’s just how he is. He’s probably in one of the rooms upstairs, on his way to ‘pound town’ in Haechan’s terms.
In typical Jeno fashion, he tolerates some annoying congratulations for a bit, give fake smiles and forced handshakes before finding his way to escape the crowd. Although it’s difficult because again, this party is thrown for him and his team, he still finds a way.
And that way has a name. Yunjin.
“Ah, Jeno,”
At the back of the party, there's a huge backyard, large enough that if he’s with this girl fucking around at the very end of it, he’s sure no one will notice. His hands roam freely against the girl, letting her know his full intention. Not like she has no clue, the hands up her skirt gave her enough hints.
“Hmm,” Jeno hums, just to satisfy the girl’s pleas.
But before it gets further, a rustle of the grass made him stop his tracks.
Someone’s here.
“Wh–what happened,” Yunjin was confused as to why he suddenly stopped.
Jeno furrows his brows, and tries to look at whoever was on the back of the big oak tree.
“Sorry! Sorry– fuck, carry on, please!”
The familiar pitch of voice made Jeno move away from Yunjin. He knows who it is behind the tree. And he suddenly has no interest in going home with Yunjin.
You stumbled out of your hiding with a bottle of alcohol on your right hand, your left trying to pathetically cover your eyes as you tried to walk.
Jeno hates it. He fucking hates how drunk you are right now.
“Oh shit, Jeno!” You peek at the gap in your fingers that was covering your eyes, to see him looking at you with a mix of emotion you can’t make out. He’s not angry, but he’s definitely not amused.
“I–,” you burped, “I’m not here..” you followed with a laugh, finding all these hilarious.
“Don’t mind me!” you laugh again.
Jeno murmured a curse. “Yejin, I’m sorry but I need to go,” he says in finality, not even waiting for the girl to answer as he walks straight in your direction.
“It’s Yunjin! Ugh!” The last words he hears from the girl before she stomps away.
He shakes his head as tried grabbing your arm, to help you at least find a stable balance. He grabs the alcohol out of your grasp harshly.
“Hey, what the fuck!” You whined. You tried to chase the bottle, but with his hold on your arms, you failed to do so.
“Y/n, please, fucking stay still. You’re very drunk!” He says in a strict but stable voice, not wanting to rile you up even more.
“Give me it,” You whined again, much softer this time, and with no attempt at grabbing the bottle.
He looks at your struggling figure, eyes almost closing as you stumble against his hold.
“Ah, fuck it,” he curse one more time before propping you off your feet, carrying you in a bridal style.
“Hey, get me– Oh my gosh! Help!” You yell, but followed with a giggle, which made the people around you think that the situation is not something to be worried about. And they know you and Jeno, so him carrying you just makes sense.
He hates this version of you. He hates how this character you have is so far from what he knew you from. He hates that you find comfort in drinking, partying and sleeping with other men. He hates that whatever happened, it completely changed you. He hates that he cares.
“What the fuck are you staring at?” Jeno can’t help but to lash out at some people who gives him and you a judgemental look. He despises people who judge you.
He finds an empty room upstairs, and he puts you down gently. You dress is up to your waist now, so Jeno pulled it down. He opened his phone to text his brother to let him know you’re with him. He knows Jisung will be worried at your whereabouts. He also texted Chenle, to make sure that they know you’re safe.
He grabs a clean washcloth out the bathroom, and soaks it with cold water.
“I’m not… I am drunk.” You say, swaying your head left to right as you lay in the bed, trying to grab at whatever’s the softest around you.
He sat a foot away from you, but still reached his hands to your face to gently caress you with the soaked towel. This might help sober you up.
Speaking of being sober, Jeno entirely forgets that he’s also intoxicated. For some reason, he sobered up. Seeing you in this state made him think that he needed to straighten up and get you out of here.
“What the fuck are you doing to yourself, y/n..” he says under his breath, as he gently brushes the towel on your face. Seeing you deep in sleep now, he sighed.
You used to be so bubbly. You were sweet as honey, as bright as the sun. He still remembers how your eyes lit up every time you would talk to him. As he looks at you right now, it’s still the same features, the soft ones he grew to know, but he knows that once you wake up, you’d be a stranger again.
He sighed in defeat, and stood up. He was about to get water for you, before the door opened.
“Jeno,” It revealed Qian Kun, a man he heard is your boyfriend. Not sure about the boyfriend part, but he’s sure that he hangs out with you a lot these days.
Kun was his senior, basically the smartest man on this campus. Famous for his 5.0 GPA, this Kun guy really is a genius. He used to get notes from him, back when he was writing for his research paper. He had no idea how you two met, but it’s really not his business.
“She was in the backyard, drunk as fuck.” Jeno says, looking at your peaceful figure.
“Alright. I’ll take it from here,” Kun says, walking past him, around the bed to get to your side.
He can hear Kun murmur a pet name as he caresses your hair. Jeno felt the need to roll his eyes.
“Next time, keep an eye on her. If you can’t handle her, maybe you shouldn’t be with her at all.” Jeno didn’t care if he sounded harsh. He needs to let Kun know that you need to be taken care of properly.
“You don’t know her, Lee. So I suggest, keep your mouth shut and mind your own business.” Kun snapped back, standing up to look back at Jeno.
“Oh, I knew her long before you did. But I agree, she’s your business. I just hate to fucking deal with it because you can’t fucking seem to do it yourself.” With that, Jeno walks out the room.
And even if Jeno sounded secure, he can’t lie and say that leaving you with another man didn’t affect him, even just one bit.
୧ ‧₊˚ ☆
Looks from other people don't budge you at all.
They can stare at you, even whisper some bullshit about you, you really don’t give a shit. There’s nothing they can say that you’ve not said to yourself.
“You really should take it slow with the alcohol, y/n.” The first thing Jisung said as you sat down beside him. You rolled your eyes, and looked at him.
“Not you too,” You say rather exhaustedly.
“Especially me too. I’m your bestfriend and I’m just worried.” Jisung wasn’t the type to give out unsolicited advice, a serious one at that, therefore you sighed.
“It’s college, Jisung. We’re supposed to have fun.”
“Not to a point where other people have to take care of you.” That came out rather harsher than what Jisung had intended, but you really need it. You know it too. You just refuse to believe it.
“You don’t have to take care of me.”
“If not me, then who? You’ve been passed out drunk for the third time this week, y/n. I don’t know what definition of fun you have, but I think it’s not this.” Jisung was scarily serious now. You blink to try and process the seriousness of the situation.
You gulp, realizing that Jisung isn’t in the mood for your snarky comments right now. “Alright, damn. I’ll take it down a notch..” you say and look away from him.
You can’t blame Jisung for acting like this. You know that you’re spiraling down, you just refuse to accept it. In your head, this is just how college life goes. You get drunk, have sex and maybe a little bit of homework here and there. In your head, this is how it should be.
In a fucked up world, it is. But your world is already fucked up. So in a way, it just makes sense. To you.
“You have to get better,” Kun’s words rang in your head.
“This is the best I can, Kun. Chemistry isn’t really my thing,” you turn your homework down at Kun’s table. You were here after class, hoping to get help from Kun.
Despite popular belief, Kun isn’t your boyfriend. You’re too fucked up to commit into a relationship, no matter how good Kun is. Matter of fact, Kun is just the perfect man for that role. You can see yourself going straight with him, like your life might just take a turn for the better.
However, no matter how evil you see yourself as, you’re not that evil to give Kun the burden to have you as a girlfriend. You can’t do that to him.
And you did clarify that to him before sleeping with him. That whatever you have, just had to stay that way. He can’t expect something more. Surprisingly, he agreed. Qian Kun, the guy that has so much credentials because of his undeniable intelligence, the guy who rejected Harvard and Stanford, agreed to have a stupid set-up with a girl that’s one step away from actually losing it. Why?
You have absolutely no idea.
“I’m not talking about your homework, my love.” He says, sighing. You know that sigh very well.
You look at him, your eyes stoic as they can be. “We’re not having this conversation.”
Kun closed his eyes as he let out a deep breath. “You need to have this conversation. Lee Jeno had to carry you upstairs, in front of everyone last night. You were so drunk that you threw up all over yourself and you think that’s okay?”
Oh, so that’s what happened. He had to rescue you. Out of all people, of course it had to be him.
“Look, Kun, I didn’t come here to be judged. I was stupid for drinking that much, I know. But it’s not gonna happen again.” You say matter-of-factly. This is the second time this day that you had to promise to someone that you’ll be drinking responsibly. You feel like everyone is ganging up on you.
“Okay, sweetheart. Okay, calm down.” You didn’t know you were standing up until Kun pulled you from your wrist to sit back down.
Kun smiled at you and kissed your forehead, before sliding your homework back in front of you again and clicking his pen. “Let me see your answers…”
You’re glad he decided to drop the topic, but before you could even say thank you, an aggressive knock on Kun’s office got both of you to look up.
“Y/N! I know you’re in there! Qian, open your fucking door!”
You widen your eyes. “Fuck, it’s Yeonjun!” you say, standing up and grabbing your purse.
Kun looks at you, before looking back at the door. You can tell he had a very concerned face, but as soon as another man’s name fell out of your lips, he knew right away what situation you’re in. He pinched the bridge of his nose due to stress, and stood up.
“What is it this time?” He asks, not that he needed to.
“He’s just… Ugh, I told him we were over!” You say, feeling bad that this situation is happening in front of Kun. The knocks are turning more aggressive.
“Y/N, you slut!” Another loud bang from the door.
“I’ll deal with him.” Kun says. You immediately shake your head in disagreement.
“No! I’ll go. You don’t need to–”
“I’m not letting that man harass you, y/n—”
“No, Kun. I’m not letting you deal with my problems anymore.” Before Kun could even say anything, you opened up the door to see a very angry Yeonjun.
Kun rushed to your side, but you didn’t let him get in contact with Yeonjun and slammed the door shut.
“You’re gonna ghost me and you think that’s funny?” Yeonjun seemed to calm down, seeing you in front of him.
There’s quite a crowd that’s forming in the hallway, some have their phones out, some whispering whilst looking at you two. Not that you care.
“Let’s talk outside—”
“Yes, you’re coming with me after I punch that–” Before Yeonjun could even finish saying it, you looked him straight in the eyes, pointing at him.
“You’re not touching Kun,” you say, full of conviction. If there’s anything you could do for Kun, its that you will protect him from getting tangled with your mess.
You pulled his wrist to get him out of the building.
At the end of the day, there’s one thing that could shut these kinds of men up. It’s getting real easy, one thing you do for them and they’ll behave like a dog. It’s getting laughable, really.
So you shut them up. By doing what you do best.
୧ ‧₊˚ ☆
You were sixteen, when you got your heart broken for the first time.
“Stop looking at my brother, you weirdo.” Jisung threw a pillow towards your position on the couch.
The soft object hit you right in the noggin, earning a grunt as you pulled your eyes off of him.
“Bitch. It’s not my fault he’s getting hotter by the day. Damn,”
You were busy staring out the pool area, where Jeno and his friends are hanging out. You were at Jisung’s place, spending your summer in the most boring ways.
Good thing Jeno’s gorgeous self is here, entertaining you. He’s so pretty, you could just eat him up.
“No he’s not. He’s a nerd!” Jisung fights back, earning a smirk from you.
“Says the one who's summer plans are to play league of legends until he becomes a ‘Challenger’ .” You retort, cranking your neck back to where Jeno was.
You recognize his friends, of course. They’re starting to gain popularity in the school, especially when Jeno got on the basketball team.He’s been working out a lot, gaining extra muscles, toning his body to get even hotter. If that’s even possible.
“Eugh, Jisung, y/n’s drooling over Jeno-hyung again.” Chenle enters the conversation, with a soda in his hand and plops himself on the couch.
“I am not drooling!”
“I got something you can drool on.” Chenle’s awful snark earns a hefty punch on his shoulder from you, the boy laughing in a high-pitch tone that makes it even more annoying than it is.
“Anyways, I think he likes me too.” You sigh dreamily, remembering the things Jeno does to you specifically.
He always carries your bags for you. He’s always the first person to welcome you into their house, and the first person to ask if you’ve had breakfast yet. He offers you rides to school when he sees you walking, and he always asks how your day has been. He’s so charming, so nice and you just can’t help but give at least a little bit of malice into it.
I mean, there has to be something, right?
“Oh she’s crazy. She’s fucking insane!” Chenle dramatically gasps, and points at you like you’ve committed a crime.
“That is seriously concerning, y/n. The level of delusion– my god.” Jisung joins in, as he pauses his game to look back and judge you.
“You two are just haters. Get off my ass!” You flip them off, with two hands, each one gets a middle finger from you.
“Look, y/n, we’re just sparing you from getting your little heart broken. Jeno-hyung does not like you.” Chenle’s tone becomes more serious this time, but in your head, he’s wrong. If Jeno didn’t like you, then why would he get out his way just to walk you home whenever you leave their house way too late?
“Seriously. You guys, I really think he’s the one for me. I mean, I can’t really think of any other reason as to why he’s so kind to me, y’know?”
Jisung looked at Chenle as if he really cannot believe what he’s hearing from you. Chenle shakes his head left to right, disappointment spread all over his face.
A set of laughter broke your conversation as you three faced out the pool side, to see Jeno and his friends now actually playing in the pool. Jeno then went on the edge, the ones in front of the back door where you were looking from, and pulled himself out of the water.
The trinkets of water dripping in his hair was one thing, but his wet body being revealed in front of you, the perfect curve of his shoulders down to his small waist, and the veins in his arms definitely woke something up in you.
“Yeah… I’ll confess to him tonight.” your voice almost sounded strange, like you were in a hypnotic state, still mesmerized by Jeno.
“Jesus christ, y/n–” before Jisung finishes, Chenle interrupts.
“Dude, let her. This is her canon event.”
You had no idea what that means, and you’re not interested to know. One thing’s in your mind, Jeno will be yours by midnight.
9:56pm
It’s like the heavens planned it all out for you.
Jeno’s friends all left, as to your surprise, because you thought they’d at least spend the night. Jeno had always offered to let his friends stay, but this time, he asked them to leave before 6. Which is odd, yes, but this all favors you in a way.
Chenle and Jisung still visibly opposed to your idea, and you’re sure they had reason to think its not gonna work out, but it’s not like it matters to you.
Whilst the three of you are in Jisung’s room, you can hear the TV on the lounge area. Their parents are out of town this summer, something about a cruise, so that means, it has to be Jeno.
In your mind, it’s the perfect timing. It’s deep in the evening, the moon’s out, and there’s never been an opportunity where you’re brave enough to actually confess.
Your heartbeat notches another tempo, as you leave Jisung’s room, much to the two’s dismay.
Before you could get to the lounge area, you’d have to pass the kitchen first.
A couple more steps, your feet turning cold, but you still managed. But before you can get a glimpse on the couch, your name was called.
“Y/n?” It’s him. Fuck, it’s him!
Okay, so he’s in the kitchen. That’s fine. Take a deep breath, You just gotta talk to him!
“Jeno,”
You took a step closer to where he was, and he’s looking extra delectable with his white shirt and grey sweatpants. Not that there’s been a moment where he didn’t look good.
“Are you going home? Ask Jisung to walk you home, I kinda—“
“Jeno, I want to talk to you, actually.” Now your voice trembles, and you’re starting to feel nervous.
“Oh, okay. Sure, what’s up?” Jeno looks to be still oblivious to your anxious state. He puts down the wine that he was holding, and turned to you completely.
You gulped, finally looking up to his eyes. He had a shadow of smile on them, but was still curious on what you had to say. You're mere two feet away from him, yet his musky scent still invades your nose.
God, all of that can be yours.
“But you’d have to say it fast because I have—”
“I like you. Very much.”
The deafening silence engulfs you, and only the sound of your heartbeat was prominent. Him, on the other hand, eyes wide, mouth ajar.
“—and I know this is so sudden but I’ve liked you ever since we were kids. I’ve always thought you were cute and nice to me!” You tried to fill in the silence, because every second that passed with him not saying anything kills you.
Another second passed, and your nervousness is long gone, because it was replaced by an impending doom.
“Y/n, look, I really appreciate it but… I-I’m just being nice.. I have to be nice. You’re my brother’s best friend—”
Fuck, shit, fuck! This cannot be happening!
“Oh, my, god!”
A high pitched voice behind you tores the tension in the air, and when you looked back, you saw Eunmi, with an amused look in her face, then covering her mouth with her hands.
She let out a laugh, as if he finds all of this ridiculous.
All of a sudden, you can’t breathe. Your heart was about to explode as you looked back at where Jeno was, seeing two wine glasses behind him. The movie in the background, still playing.
And it all just stops.
“That’s so cute!” Eunmi screeched, before walking towards Jeno and snaking her arms around him.
“Babe, I was wondering why it’s taking so long, you didn’t tell me this girl is pouring her heart out to you! Awe,”
You can feel your eyes warming up. You had so much left to say. But your voice can’t be found. The heart ache was too loud for you to even utter a word.
And in the end, all you could say was, “I’ll.. go home.”
Then you were gone, every step with every tear drop, and although you expected it to hurt, it still surprises you how painful it was.
You’re glad he didn’t run after you. You can’t be more pathetic than this, but it would kill you for him to witness your vulnerability.
Jeno was your first love.
And then Jeno became your first heartbreak.
With all the smiles he brought you, you never thought he could cause you so many tears.
୧ ‧₊˚ ☆
Is it wrong to be this young and this tired?
You look at yourself in the mirror, analyzing every inch of your body. On the contrary, you don’t hate what you see. You’ve worked so hard to attain the body that you have now, and you’re satisfied where you’re at.
But there’s an empty feeling in your stomach that never left, and you can’t seem to figure out what it is. It’s always been there.
“Get back to bed,” You hear a disgruntled sound from the bed, and immediately your smile fades. You’re pulled back to reality, one that you hated to be in.
“I’m going home,” you say, before grabbing your clothes and putting them back on.
You don’t know why you do this, but you wait before walking out the door, for a sliver of a second to see if the man on the bed even attempts to ask you to stay. And just what you expected, he didn’t.
Sometimes you wish you’re worthy of being asked to stay, but who were you kidding.
There’s a deep routed scar that you’ve been trying so hard to cover. You like to think that the antidote that you have for it works, but the way you’ve been stuck in the same situation all over again says otherwise.
You thought you were healing, but the truth is, you just stopped feeling.
All your life is ahead of you, they say. But yours feels far behind.
You don’t really know where you went wrong, you thought if you became pretty, everybody would like you. You thought that if you agreed to sleep with them, they’d appreciate you. You thought that if you change your entire personality, they would start to see you.
Where did you go wrong? You dyed your hair blonde, you worked your body to achieve the hourglass figure and you even went ahead and let every man that looks your way to have you. Isn’t that enough?
See, this is why you hate being sober. You hate being alone with your thoughts, because it drowns you. You start thinking of things that overwhelms you to the point of tears, and you hate crying. You’ve already done too much of that before.
So why does everybody hate you for drinking? If that’s the only escape you know? It isn’t fair.
“I’m losing my mind,” you say, biting your nails and jerking your knees in frustration.
“Jesus, you’re like a crack addict without crack for a day.” Chenle says as he looks at you.
“She hasn’t had alcohol in a week,” Jisung says as if he’s proud, smiling at you.
You roll your eyes. You’ve been trying to stray off alcohol ever since Jisung and Kun asked you to. You ought to at least try, because you owe them that. On the latter part, if it didn’t work, and you spiral out, you can at least say that you tried.
“Ah, fuck it.” You say, but before Jisung freaks, you clarify, “I’m just gonna smoke for a bit, grandpa.” You say and dashed out of his dorm, down to the parking lot.
It’s winter, and the snow has already covered the streets. The cold was always your favorite season, it gives you reason to just stay inside and cuddle up in your cozy room.
You open up a new packet of cigarettes as you stand outside basking in winter air. It’s especially windy today, you thought.
The heat of the smoke traveling through your lungs was refreshing. It rivals the coldness of the wind, creating a balance that hits you just right. A perfect combination of sensation to combat the numbness in you.
Before the light hits the filter of the cigarette, you hear a screeching sound to your left.
It was a car, no, it was his car.
You mentally curse, throwing the unfinished stick to your feet and stomping on it. You frantically try to walk back up the building, but as you hear the car door slamming, you take a deep breath.
“Smoking’s really bad for you,” Jeno says, walking towards your direction.
“You basically run off of weed and gatorade, Jeno.”
Although you did try your best to keep walking, Jeno catched up in a couple of steps. You stood together waiting for the elevator.
“Is Chenle upstairs, too?” He starts.
“Yeah. Congrats on the game, Jeno. Sorry I had to ruin your night,” you followed it with a slight laugh, hoping to lighten the mood.
“Nah, it’s fine. Didn’t wanna stay in that party anyways,”
The elevator finally dings open, you hesitate to move at first, but when Jeno enters the lift and looks at you, you take this as a sign to walk in with him. So walk in you did.
“Kun took care of you, right?” He asks. You badly wanted to look at him, but you chose not to.
“Yeah.. he’s a great guy.” You silently say, not feeling good about the conversation.
“Hm,” he paused. The suspicious tone made you look at him, anticipating what comes out of his mouth next.
“I saw you walking out of Yeojun's dorm last night tho.” He says as if it was nothing, as if it was a little detail he had to tell you. But the underlying idea behind his statement was obvious.
You hitched your breath. No, y/n. Fight back.
“What can I say, I’m booked and busy.”
“You’re— that’s not something to be proud of, y/n.” He states as if he’s running out of patience, now looking back at you.
You smirked wider, “Oh don’t be a hypocrite, Jeno. You do the same damn thing,”
He grunts in frustration. “Yes but you’re different, y/n!”
8… 9….
“Different in what way? Because I’m a woman? And this isn’t what women do? Don’t give me that bullshit,”
“Fuck that, you know that’s not what I meant. I’m just protecting you from what people think about you.”
10… 11… 12…
“Jeno, I want you to listen to me carefully.” You took another step closer to him, looking up to level your face with his. “—whatever you heard about me, I want you to times it by a million, and when you think it’s bad, make it worse.” You whispered.
You tilt your head to hover your lips on his ear, “And guess what, who knows, maybe they’re telling the truth.”
And as soon as the elevator hits the 15th floor, you walk out without looking back.
୧ ‧₊˚ ☆
You were a lost cause.
Jeno thought he just needed to accept the fact that you’re just never gonna be the same.
He doesn’t know why it bothered him so much, the fact that you’re not letting anyone help you. It never bothered him before, and so, it shouldn’t bother him now.
It’s not his fault that you turned out to be this way. It’s not his fault.
So he distracts himself. Both in ways of basketball and women.
He tried to go back to his old ways, back to where he’s safe. He was doing fine, before you plagued his system. Plus, it’s not like he didn’t try, he damn did try.
Maybe this version of you is the real you. Maybe this is what’s meant to be.
“Holy fuck,” Haechan eyes the woman who walks out of Jeno’s room, obviously checking her out. Jeno just rolled his eyes and spread his arms around the back of the couch. Dragging a long hit of the weed he seemed to never get run out of.
“That’s the third girl this week, Jeno. Are you trying to break my record?” Haechan scoffed, as if proud of his friend.
“I’m not trying to break anything, but if you want, I’d gladly break your nose.”
Haechan put both his hands up, taking a step back because out of all of them, Jeno’s the one who could really do it. And he’s not trying to risk his beautiful face.
“Dude, this is bad.” Renjun was the second one to comment, following Haechan. He looked at Jeno’s state, and he can tell something’s not right. There’s something bothering Jeno, and Renjun can’t exactly tell what.
He had an idea, but he’s sure as hell won’t tell it to Jeno’s face.
“What? I have two weeks before the game. I need to relax.” Jeno says, ignoring the concern in Renjun’s face.
“And this is relaxing to you?” Renjun grabs an empty bottle of beer, one of the many that’s scattered all over the place.
Jeno didn’t answer, letting a sigh out of his lips and closing his eyes. He can’t think straight right now, or in the past week. He had been sleeping with different girls, to the point where he ran out of bed sheets to use. His room stinks of sweat and axe body spray, and he can’t seem to be satisfied, at all.
“I don’t know, Junnie. Just… leave me alone.” At this moment, Renjun can’t help but sigh. It's these kinds of moments where he knows that Jeno needs someone. Where the one month gap in their age really shines and Jeno needs his older brother, Renjun.
He puts down the plastic bag of trash and sat beside Jeno. “Look, Jeno. I’m not gonna sit here and ask you what this is about, but this is starting to look really sad. Jaemin is already down, and I don’t need you broken too. I can’t handle Haechan by myself,” Renjun, in an attempt to lighten up the mood.
“Junnie, just let me be, okay? I swear.. this will pass.”
“I sure hope it would. Because you can’t fix someone if you’re broken yourself. That’s just plain dumb.”
He grunts, and cursed deeply because he know’s Renjun’s right. But how can he, when it feels like he’s stuck? When has everything, but he feels like he’s got nothing? He has a great future ahead of him, he knows that, but why does it feel like something’s missing?
Girls, money, fame. What more could he want?
In a split second, Jeno regrets asking himself that question. Because he feel like he knows the answer, but he really doesn’t like it.
୧ ‧₊˚ ☆
“Lee Jeno, what the fuck was that?!”
Yangyang pushed Jeno, but instead of fighting back, Jeno just shook his head. He raked his fingers across his hair as he sat at the bleachers.
Thank fuck this isn’t the actual university game. Because if it was, they’d for sure lose the first quarter and Jeno will have his first ever loss written on his otherwise squeaky clean reputation.
“Don’t fucking yell at my face.” Jeno’s voice thundered.
“Five hundred dollars are at stake, and Minho would not let us live if you lose against him, Jeno.” Yangyang’s voice was a lot more controlled, but still angry, nonetheless.
“Man, I don’t really care.” Jeno let out an unenthusiastic chuckle, drinking out of his tumbler.
“What?” Yangyang feels like he’s mistaken. Lee Jeno doesn’t care if he loses? In a basketball game, that is? Oh he truly thinks the world has turned upside down.
Before he could even ask his friend again, Minho starts shouting from the other side of the court.
“What, Lee Jeno? The magic doesn’t work now, doesn’t it?” Minho yells, earning a laugh from his teammates.
“Fuck you! Games not over, bitch!” Yangyang yells back, full of confidence but looked back at Jeno, worry splattered in his face.
“Dude, I swear, we need to put that son of a bitch back in his place!” Yangyang angrily whispers.
“I’m gonna sit this one out, Yang–”
“How about we bet on that y/n girl?! Your brother’s friend, right? Heard she spreads it open to just about anyone who looks at her funny!”
Without even thinking, Jeno’s fast on his feet, and his vision turns red. His fist curled up and his logical thinking was out of the window. His vision is straight at Minho, and his only thought is to knock this bitch out.
Yangyang couldn’t even process anything, as he watches Jeno’s eyes darkens and before any of his teammates could even try and stop Jeno, his fist already connects with Minho’s face. The boy fell down, immediately knocked out, and chaos between both teams ensues. But Jeno didn’t stop.
He’s not letting Minho get up.
“Jeno, slow the fuck down.” He heard a concerned voice at the corner of the nearby club he went to. His feet dragged him here after the incident, wanting to drown himself with anything that could take away his mind from everything.
One shot, two shots, three shots, four.
“I’m paying you, Doyoung, aren’t I?” Jeno says, rolling his eyes at the older man in front of him.
Doyoung was another person Jeno trusts. Besides the three idiots back in his apartment, Doyoung is also the one Jeno’s comfortable with.
“Yes, but I don’t want to report an alcohol poisoning inside my bar, Jeno.” Doyoung can tell Jeno’s done for the night. Slumped over his counter, he forces the shot glass out of Jeno’s hold.
He signals one of his co-bartenders to take over the bar for a bit, before dragging Jeno’s body out of the bar. He notices the bruising at the boy’s hand but he didn’t say anything and drove Jeno home.
“I don’t want to go back to my apartment, Haechan’s there with a girl,” Jeno mumbled, slowly getting more and more sober as the fresh air wakes him up.
“Where’d you want me to bring you then?” Doyoung asked.
“I don’t know… fuck.. just, bring me back to my brother’s.”
Thankfully, Doyoung knew Jisung’s apartment. He’s close with both of the brothers, often being mistaken as a brother as well. But after graduating, he just naturally went off and did other things.
Doyoung huffs as soon as he successfully brought Jeno in front of Jisung’s apartment, however, another problem was that Jisung isn’t answering the phone.
“Jeno, I really can’t stay here with you, I just sneaked out of my shift,” he explains, but Jeno just dismissed him and nods. Doyoung knocks at the door before he left, making sure that if there was a person inside, they’d open the door for Jeno.
Jeno wasn’t as drunk as earlier, that’s for sure. What’s left is the pounding headache plus the fact that no one’s opening the door for him.
Out of sheer frustration, he kicks the door, strong enough to make a banging sound but not hard enough to damage it.
“Fucking Jisung,” he murmured to himself, almost turning his heels to walk out, but before he could, rattling on the other side of the door can be heard.
Jeno sighs in relief, but seconds after it opened, what greets him almost knocks the breath out of his lungs.
“Shit, Jeno.” Your soft voice matched your soft expression as you look at him with obvious shock.
Jeno, on the other hand, didn’t want to extend the painful awkward silence.
“I-Is my brother there?” Stuttering was never Jeno’s thing. Until this moment, he thinks.
“He’s… he’s like, I think at a girls place somewhere… fuck, I think her name’s Jieun or some shit..” Your eyes take turns in blinking, but still standing straight— conflicting the idea that you’re drunk. Well, at least not y/n drunk.
“Then why are you here?” He didn’t know why, but his hands automatically grabs the door knob to swing the door more open to see if you’re inside with somebody.
He just needs to know you’re alone.
“I crash here sometimes… when I’m locked out of my apartment.” You shoulders where slumped, words were coming out slow. Jeno can tell you’re not sober.
He can’t say shit because he’s not in an exactly sober state as well. So he just proceeds to walk past you to enter the dorm.
Technically, Jisung’s place is his place too. Their parents fixed it up for the two of them but Jeno chose to stay over at his shared apartment with the other boys. So he can do whatever he wants to do.
The entire place reeks of weed, and the floor has two empty bottles of Soju. He almost threw up, he hates Soju.
“Jesus fucking christ, Jisung.” He murmured as he picks up the trash, forgetting that you were standing behind him baffled.
“I’m sorry about that…” Of course it’s yours. Of course you’ve been drinking again. Fuck him for thinking that it’s his brother’s fault. Because it’s would always be you.
Jeno stays quiet. He’s not in the best mood to even look at you. Everything that’s been happening to him recently is because of you. He hates that he blames you, but he can’t just think of someone else.
“Jeno...” Your soft voice calls for him again. It took everything from him to ignore you, and walk back to the kitchen and throw all the trash away.
He’s hanging by a thread, and he starts to realize it’s a bad idea to stay here for long.
He takes a deep breath and walks towards the door, but before that, he felt a tight grip in his arms.
“Jeno.. talk to me.” The sultry voice you had did not go unnoticed, and Jeno couldn’t help but stop his tracks.
Don’t break, Jeno.
“Jeno.. please look at me.”
He forces your grip out of his arms. It kills him, so much to hear you like this.
“I’m leaving,” He managed to say, however, his feet says otherwise. He’s standing still, not even another step out the door.
“You’re not, please. Just… just look at me.” Jeno heaves, his hands turning into fists as he tries and compose himself.
Just this once.
He turns his heel and immediately surrendered. The moment he let his eyes on you, he already lost the game.
“Why don’t you want me?”
He gulps. He bit his lip to stop himself from saying anything, because he doesn’t trust that he’s not going to say something he’s not ready to say.
“You’ve had so many girls.. Jeno, why not me? I’m…” You paused, you look left to right as if you’re finding words to say. “..I’m better than all of them.”
“Y/n—“
“No! Fuck it, Jeno! There’s no fucking reason why you won’t fuck me! It doesn’t make any fucking sense!” Jeno hears ringing in his head, the string of patience threatening to snap.
“Why? Explain to me fucking why you would fuck all those bitches and not me? I swear.. Jeno, I’m good— fuck that, I’m the best—”
“I’m so—”
“Ask half of your team.”
In that note, the last thread he was hanging on to snapped. You want him? Fine. Take it.
He grips your arms and drags you inside of the room, and in his peripheral view, he can see your demeanor changes. Now, your eyes are mischievous, and your lips turning into a smirk.
“You want to fucking play that game? Fine, I’ll fucking play with you.” Jeno almost growls, letting you sit on the bed as he slams the door shut.
“Strip.” He orders, in the most dominant voice he has.
You bit your lip as you look up at him. Slowly discarding your clothes one by one, but not breaking eye contact with him.
His eyes were dark. So dark that you can’t tell anything that’s on his mind. His jaw tightens at the sight of you almost stripped off of your dress.
“I’ve been so fucking patient with you,”
The dim lights shone at his back, as he craned his body down, standing before you. Nearing his face unto yours, the mirror on the side of the bed depicted something out of a dark fairytale, a silhouette of a beast trying to tempt an angel.
But in reality, the angel had already fallen. Deep and hard. The beast didn't even have to do anything.
"Tell me you want me," he says.
"I do, Jeno. I really want you," And as of this moment, you lost the battle you've fought for all these years.
"All this time, huh? You're still lusting over your best friend's brother?" Now, his tone was slightly teasing. His once gentle hands on your cheeks turned possessive, his grip getting tighter.
"Dirty, dirty, dirty little girl. Bet when you fuck those boys, you think of me, don't you?" His thumb on your lower lip, parting it softly.
"This is your chance, y/n. Tonight, I'm yours. Just tell me the words," his whispers turned deadly, as his own lips are almost touching yours.
"J-jeno.."
"Pretty, pretty, pretty..." His words spit like venom. Every movement of his lips gave you a tease, your entire body burning with desire.
Your mind was under his control, and you completely and utterly surrendered to him. He's not yours— you're his.
"—Please," you finally choked out, and like a green light, Jeno kissed you with hunger, pushing his entire body weight onto you forcing you to lay down on the bed.
“I thought you won’t beg anymore?” The cockiness in his voice would usually prompt a reaction from you but you don’t care anymore.
This time, his hips close the distance between your bodies, maneuvering his knees to position between your legs. Careful not to crush you, he kept balance of his weight as he pushed his hip further, creating a slight friction between your clothed core.
After what it seemed like forever, his lips traveled down your neck, and almost immediately you can feel that he's gonna leave a mark. You'll definitely leave with a painted neck.
His hands expertly went under your dress, grabbing your breast, squeezing them ever so slightly. It doesn't take a full minute when his hands went around your back and unclasped your bra like it was nothing. All while he was focused on kissing every part of your skin.
Of course he's good at this.
Just then, he pulled away but only to pull your dress up and completely undress you. He took his time looking at your exposed body.
"You're so fuckin' perfect," he mumbled more so to himself as he admired you. He leaned in again but this time his mouth landed on one of your breasts, sucking them deftly.
"Shit, Jeno," you can't help but moan his name, grab the back of his head to level yourself. You pulled his hair, and you didn't know if he likes it, but with the way he groaned gave you a hint that he does.
As he keeps himself busy, his hands go down to your clothed core. Goosebumps ran down your body as his middle finger traced your slit, already feeling the wetness you've desperately hid before.
"So fuckin' wet, and all for me. Am I right, baby?" He whispered, you answered with a whiny 'yes' that it almost sounded like a stranger.
"Lemme' take this off," he quickly pulled down your panties, only to be welcomed by your soaking wet core. Jeno was ravenous, like he's been starved all his life.
The room was dark, only a dim lamp providing some light, but the wetness in your pussy glistens and reflects, that Jeno swore he's never seen something so beautiful. You're beautiful, and he's gonna make you feel just exactly that.
You can hear his belt buckle, him swiftly taking all his clothes off.
"God, I can never get used to how fucking pretty you are, my pretty little baby," he mumbled again, to himself.
"Who was the last guy you fucked, baby?" Jeno asked, catching you off guard. He was pumping himself as he looks at you, and you never thought he would ask such question.
"Wha-- why? I don't kn- probably—" Your speech cut off when you looked down at his moving arms, to see all of him.
You've heard rumors. You knew he was packing. But good God, he's so fucking big. Almost knocking the breath out of your lungs. You're starting to get worried if it would fit.
"Doesn't even matter.. everyone else doesn't count. Just me.”
He then pressed his finger down in your core, finding the clit right away. Rapidly circling his finger, and a wave of pleasure started to form. "Oh fuck--," you moaned.
He dove down to kiss you, this time passionately. Much softer than before. Only for you to feel his finger entering you that you went crazy. Not long before he added another,pumping it swiftly in and out. He moved away from your face to watch your expression. And he fucking loved it.
"Fuck, I'm gonna cum-" you whispered.
"Go on, baby." Jeno, encouraging you even more, fingers going faster.
"Shit.. oh my go-" and then it hit you, your first orgasm of the night. Jeno's face was all you can see, and his fingers was all you can feel. Your brows furrowed, mouth agape, you felt like you can't control your body. Jeno's lips was also parted, as if he gains pleasure from watching you reach your climax.
"Good girl," he groaned.
"Need more, Jen. Please," begging was never on your vocabulary, until now.
"Shh, no need to beg, baby. I'm more than willing to give you all," his sweet words acted as an aphrodisiac, igniting the fire in you. As if you needed him to be even more sexier.
Because it was dark in the room, your sense of touch is heightened. Every touch lingered, and its as if you were touch deprived your entire life. Jeno brings out your true colors, and you're not mad about it.
"Make you feel good," he whispered more praises, and you can hear him pump himself as he aligned his length onto your aching core.
"Oh my god," you can't help but gasp, the stretch overwhelming you. You've never taken someone this big before, and it fucking felt like its your first time. Not in a painful way, but because you've felt a whole new sensation.
"S' wet, baby, fuck, you're choking me," in a low groan, Jeno slowly bottomed out. He sits fully inside you, and you can feel every single inch, every single vein. It felt so raw, and so right.
"Hmm, fuck, fuck you feel.. fucking hell. S' good." You never expected Jeno to be this vocal, and you weren't complaining. You always thought he didn't like being vocal, but damn, were you so wrong.
"Jeno.." you moaned, and you can already feel your impending orgasm. Its just that good.
Before Jeno could even find a pace with his thrust,, he pulled out. Your eyes opened in confusion, from the abrupt emptiness.
"Fuck this," Jeno was fast on his feet, you wondered where he was going, but before your mind settles on a conclusion, you were blinded by bright lights.
"Need to see you properly," he reasoned, before he went back to the position he was before.
With the lights on, you can now see his perfectly lean body, toned abs and the sweat beading on his sideburns. He looked so hot that you could cum right there and then.
"So fucking beautiful," Jeno never failed to compliment you, as he stares at you before sliding it in again. For the second time you gasp, but because he slid it in so swift that you didn't even get a second to breathe before he pounds.
"Oh, fuck, Jeno!" you squealed, your entire body rocking back and forth with how rough he was.
His hands grabbed your left leg and hooked it in his shoulder, all the while he kept the fast pace of his thrusts. You can see his face twist, him biting his lips and looking up. His expert thrusts made his abs flex everytime. The sight was stunning, and for a second there you were lost. You can't believe other girls had seen this before you.
The orgasm you fought so hard was out of your control now, and you knew you weren't gonna last.
"Jeno, I'm gonna cum," you tell him, and he switched his position in no time. "Together. Cum with me," he muttered.
"Come inside, Jeno. I need it so bad," you were slurring words at this point, so barbaric with the feeling.
He unhooked your leg and leaned forward. Your body now pressed together as he wrapped your legs onto his waist, his hands finding your neck, holding it steady as he touched his forehead with yours. His piercing eyes were hyper focused on yours.
"Eyes on me, baby. Fuck, please," he moaned, his tempo going even more rapid and desperate. Both of your mouths was wide open at this point.
"Fuck! Fuck, fuck!" he stilled, as you both reached climax. He emptied himself inside you. You can't help but moan in a high pitch as orgasm washes over your entire body, an intense wave brought you to euphoria, and you never wanna leave.
"Damn," he whispered, almost in disbelief on how it felt to be with you. Still giving you everything he had, every single drop.
"Jeno," you called out once you relaxed, hoping to get him back to his senses.
"Wait- just.. shit." he managed to mutter despite his weak state. He's still wrapped around you, tight as if you were disappearing. Not to mention he's still balls deep.
A solid minute has passed when he decided to pull out, both of you hissing at the feeling. You felt so empty, and he felt so bare.
And when Jeno closes his eyes, he accepts defeat. You’ve successfully broken him.
୧ ‧₊˚ ☆
Sooyoung, Minnie, Hoyeon, Yoonah.
So far, those are the names that you gathered.
It doesn’t take a long time to figure out what Jeno likes, based on the girls he’s been with. They’re all hot, popular with the boys, and if not the same age as him, they’re older.
The other common denominator is that they all have experience. When Jeno started sleeping around, you would only see him with women who’s expected to be with him. Like those women who knows how pretty they are, who’s aware how to handle a man like Jeno.
So when you finally turn eighteen, you did not waste time.
“Do you think I look hot in this, Ji?” You ask innocently, looking at your best friend through the mirror you’re standing in front of.
He barely looks up from his nintendo switch, and when you make eye contact, the look of disgust on his face makes you roll your eyes.
“Your freakin’ ass is hanging off that skirt. You look like a…” Jisung turns his head towards Chenle on the other side of the room, playing on his playstation.
“…hooker.” Chenle finished the sentence for him. You hide a smirk.
“I’ll take that as a compliment, thank you!” You did a curtsy, before grabbing your purse.
“Wait, where are you going?” Chenle asked as soon as he paused the game to see you walk towards the door.
“NCU is throwing this party for the new basketball team, got an invite from Jungwoo.” You gave Chenle a wink, knowing it would annoy the heck out of him.
“What?! Why do I not know about this?!” You flinched when Chenle says the first word in the highest octave possible.
“Probably because we’re not in NCU’s college department yet? The party’s exclusive for college students, dumbass.” Jisung says boredly, bringing his attention back to his nintendo.
“Except I got an invite, you losers didn’t!” And just for extra annoyance, you stick your tongue out to mock them.
Chenle only huffs, but takes his phone out of his pocket.
“Invited or not, I’m going. I’m sure your broke ass would take up a free ride to the party,” He says as he waits for someone on his phone.
“And how do you plan to enter the party, dimwit? You don’t have an invite,” Jisung asks.
“I’m Zhong fucking Chenle. That’s my invite.” He smirks, grabs his keys and your wrist. You flew a kiss towards Jisung and left his apartment.
Booming music, strobe lights. The bass vibrates through the wall and honestly, this is way too extreme from what you expected. This is the first real party you had attended, where you’re specifically invited.
Jungwoo was someone you knew, from one of your girlfriends. He’s three years ahead of you, making him a year older than Jeno. And to be frank, Jungwoo didn’t peak your interest at first. But when you knew that he’s in Jeno’s friend circle, you figured that maybe, you do like Jungwoo.
“Hey,” Someone from behind you whispers on your ear, making you whip your head. You saw Jungwoo, head hangs low just to whisper. He displays a playful smile as he hugs you.
But before you could even tighten his embrace, Chenle took a protective stance, putting his arms in between. “Woah dude, chill out.”
Jungwoo chuckled, putting his hands up. “Zhong, calm down,”
You immediately give Chenle a look of confirmation, “I’m good, Le.”
“Just making sure.” He says and steps back. He patted Jungwoo’s shoulder in a sense that he’s good. Chenle has always been protective, in literal terms. Jisung however, is protective in a motherly kind of way. In short, Chenle’s fights, Jisung nags.
“Why don’t you talk to Jaehyun? Heard he’s interested in taking you in the team.” Jungwoo says making Chenle widen his eyes, a breathless ‘really?’ coming out of his lips and Jungwoo nods. You pushed Chenle to go find the Jaehyun guy and before you know it, you’re alone with Jungwoo.
“He’s really into basketball, huh?” Jungwoo, sounding amused.
You on the other hand, start roaming your eyes around the room. You’re here for someone, and you need to know if they’re in this party, or else this would be a huge waste of time if he’s not here.
“Yeah, he basically worships Stephen Curry.” You looks at him, to at least try to entertain the boy.
“Mm-hm.” The way his hands crawl into your waist so naturally was a shock to you, but you don’t say anything at all. He starts walking and with his hands attached on your body, you can’t help but walk with him.
“So.. where’s the team?” You really did try to prolong the moment you’re with Jungwoo, but you just can’t stay still without confirming if he’s here.
“They’re upstairs. Some of my teammates doesn’t really like hanging out with too many people.”
“How about you?”
“I was waiting for you, pretty.” Jungwoo flashes a smile, someone could argue his most defining feature but then again, you have your sights on someone else.
True to his words, Jungwoo brought you upstairs, where it’s more intimate with a few people. There’s a lounge area in front of a bar and that's where you spot the certain someone you’ve been looking for.
And as expected, he has a girl with him.
“Hey, guys, uh– this is y/n.” Jungwoo awkwardly introduces you to everyone, including Jeno who at first was shocked at your presence, but soon enough replaced with a certain tension in his eyes.
You did a small wave, still shy at the amount of eyes on you. These people are legends on campus. They’re basically the school’s pride and seeing them acknowledging you was amusing. And Jeno, like the perfect man that he is, just fits right in.
“Hi, I’m Juyeon,” He extends his hands, so you, a person who doesn’t like leaving people hanging, gladly accepts it.
And everyone else follows suit, except Jeno. He was looking at something else, not even the girl he’s with. He’s fixated at his beer can, looking at it very seriously.
“Jeno?” Jungwoo asks, questioning why the boy didn’t acknowledge you.
He looked at Jungwoo, and he was about to answer but you did it for him.
“We know each other. I’m friends with his brother.” You smile at Jungwoo, and he seemed to understand it so he just lead you to the empty spot on the lounge.
They started talking, but your attention was on Jeno. You realized that this is his crowd, quickly you found that he’s very different in front of other people. He’s more talkative, that’s for sure.
But your eyes also catch the soft touches he graces the girl beside him. The whispers he gave, the smiles and subtle kisses on the side of her head. His arms around her and the jokes he tells just for the two of them.
It has been years since he rejected you, yet the pain still stings.
You took your eyes somewhere else, made easy as Jungwoo starts to caress your shoulder. He leaned below, matching your face. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” you smiled at him. You weren’t, but you’re obviously not gonna tell that.
He hands you a shot of what you assume alcohol, with his eyes anticipating your next move. This is the first time you’re drinking without Chenle or Jisung around, and you’re unsure if this was okay.
But with everybody starting to look at Jungwoo’s waiting hand, the shot clearly for you, you start to panic. There’s no way you’re gonna embarrass yourself in front of these seniors.
So you suck it up and took the shot. You’re not sure, but you got a glance from Jeno that tells he’s not happy with your action.
The taste of the alcohol was strong, but somehow your throat didn’t burn. Yes, you definitely felt it heat up your taste buds but not bad enough for you to hate it. It’s like a sensation that hypes up your system.
And so, with your new found information, you were more confident in taking shots now. And exactly that you do.
But with the amount of liquid going in, it has to come out. So you excused yourself to the bathroom to pee. You assured Jungwoo you were okay, because heck yeah, you’re fine.
Not until you actually stood up. Good thing you didn’t stumble, but shit, your world is spinning.
You bee line straight to the bathroom and relieve yourself. It took a couple minutes before you finished washing your hands, and as you walk out of the restroom, you were met by a figure clearly waiting for you to finish up.
“J-Jeno,” you muttered, moreso in surprise.
“Y/n what the hell are you doing here?” He whispers, angrily of course.
“Jungwoo invited me!” You whisper back, leaning on the door behind you to balance yourself.
“Where’s my brother? Chenle?” He looms over you, and all you can think about is his luscious lips, mere inches to yours.
“They.. Chenle came with me, Ji stayed home..” You answer, despite being in a trance. The entire place is spinning, but not Jeno’s face. It’s there, in front of you.
“I need you to find Chenle and go home.” He says in finality, expecting you to follow. You knit your brows, as you take in offense over what he’s doing.
“What? I’m invited here!” You whined.
“Find Chenle. Now.” The growl in his last words made you slightly intimidated, not to mention his eyes burning holes into your own.
God, he’s so handsome.
You don’t know if its the vodka, or just plain recklessness that gave you the idea of just tipping on your toes and try kissing Jeno.
It made perfect sense in your head. Your hands cupping his cheeks obviously caught him off guard, but before your lips touch his, his reflex of pushing you off was unfortunately faster.
He shoved you harsh, causing you to stumble and almost losing your balance.
“What the fuck?!” He yells.
Your heartbeat went quicker. Everything started to process. Jeno looks so mad, he huffs and wiping his palm against the part of his face that your lips had touched.
“I-I’m s-sorr—”
“I have a fucking girlfriend, y/n!” He spits, words felt like daggers through your chest.
“Jeno, I’m sorry. I was out of—” Your eyes start to burn.
“Are you that desperate? I rejected you already, didn’t I? I will never look at you different than being my brother’s best friend, y/n! So stop this fucking delusion while I’m being nice.” Jeno points his fingers at you, making you flinch a little bit.
“Jeno, please.” Your tears are now slowly flowing. You attempted to grab his wrist to make him stay and listen to your apologies but he swiped it off like he’s disgusted to be touched by you.
“No, y/n. You’re like a sister to me. It disgusts me to even think of being with you romantically. So please, know your fucking place.”
With that, he walks out and leaves you broken.
You don’t understand. You did everything by the book. You looked pretty, you knew how he liked girls. You made yourself into his fantasies and he still can’t see past the fact that you’re just his brother’s bestfriend.
You take a deep breath between the sobs, calming yourself down. You felt horrible. You felt so sick and embarrassed. You felt so fucking desperate and pathetic that you just want to numb yourself of the pain.
You grab your chest, having difficulty breathing from crying too hard.
This is way more than a broken heart.
You’re no longer consolable, and there’s just no way you’re going back there with your makeup now ruined.
Are you that hard to want?
Are you that hard to need?
The tears don't stop as you walk out of the party. Gladly, everybody’s wasted so nobody noticed you ugly-crying.
As you turn to an alleyway, you shoot Jungwoo a text saying you got sick, and Chenle saying you got an uber home.
With your 7-inch heels on your hand, in the cold street, you walk in shame.
Bare feet on the sidewalk, shivering, that's when you noticed a bar.
Your feet prompted to enter, so that you did. You were going to drown the pain, and there’s nothing in your mind except alcohol.
You hoped that it would ease the pain.
And it did, the effects of it giving you a temporary memory loss. This was the numbing you needed.
The sensation of alcohol gave you solace, and for a while, your thoughts melted into nothingness.
Staring at the shot glass in front of you, you made a promise to your eighteen year old self.
That if Jeno doesn’t want you, you’ll make it your life’s mission to make everyone else crave you. You don’t need Jeno.
You’ll never be rejected again.
And just as soon as you felt like you can breathe again, your phone buzzed.
[2:34am] jisung: y/n, come home, quickly. it’s your mom.
୧ ‧₊˚ ☆
It was odd to say the least.
This has been what you’ve wanted for so many years. You prayed— and begged the heavens for Jeno to finally take you, to prove that you can get him.
And now, you’ve proven your point.
But why does it feel… strange?
Yes, it was the best sex you’ve had, and it might be the only one that could make you feel that way. It was mindblowing, it was everything and more.
Isn’t this the goal? For him to actually step over that line of being your best friend’s brother?
What else did you want?
Honestly, you don’t know anymore. Hence, you sneak out of the apartment in the middle of the night. Jeno was laying on his stomach, the comforter covering his lower half. His back muscles spread across the sheets and you take the art in. He really is sculptured to perfection.
You managed to put on your clothes and walk out of the apartment building. You find yourself in a nearby convenience store, walking through the isle finding something you didn’t know. Your mind is blank and empty.
These are the times where you wished there was someone to guide you to what you should do next. Because you have no idea. You’re confused, and you need direction.
These are the moments where you wished your mom was here. She would know what to do.
For a while, when you were with Jeno, you felt warmth you’ve always been trying to find from somebody else. With Jeno, you actually felt like sex wasn’t only about pleasure, but it’s also about being able to express unspoken feelings.
Sex wasn’t something you just needed to get over with. It felt amazing, It was perfect.
But it clicked too, that you know yourself was the only one who really appreciated it. Jeno— was in for the satisfaction. He never needed you like you needed him. You talked him into sleeping with you. You were begging for his touch.
You pushed him to a point where he just snapped and gave you what you’ve been desperately chasing him for.
And for what? Probably for you to stop. He was throwing scraps at you because he’s tired of that one girl who keeps chasing his tail. He just gave in, expecting you to finally give up.
Then it hit you. Your fourteen year old self, your eighteen year old self and your twenty-two year old self still has something in common.
You realize, that all the hard work, the wall you desperately tried to build was a fraud. Because at the end of the day, you never lost feelings for Jeno.
No matter how many people you’ve been with, it’s still gonna be Jeno for you.
That makes you laugh. In both ridiculousness and despair. Hopelessness felt eerily familiar.
Silly you, for thinking you’ve moved on.
Jeno is inevitable. And you’ll learn to accept it too.
As you reach up the isle and grab a bottle of Soju, a hand stops you.
“My love, are you okay?” A soft voice that you haven't heard in a while.
“Kun,”
୧ ‧₊˚ ☆
Jeno knows he’s royally fucked.
He gave into your trap, and you’ve successfully defeated him. All his morals, his beliefs, and the logic he stands on was out the window.
He knows you planned it out too. This was your way of taking revenge on him, when he repeatedly rejected you years ago.
He tried to keep his distance, because he promised.
And he takes his promises seriously, especially when it involves you. And he felt like he broke the one thing that’s keeping the promise he made a couple years ago.
You weren’t supposed to end up in his bed. You weren’t supposed to still want him after everything he’s done. You weren’t supposed to even be involved with him. He’s supposed to stay wherever he is, on the sidelines, silently protecting you.
But it’s all been done. You and Jeno did it, and it cannot be reversed. And now that its happened, there’s not much he can do. He has to hash things out, he has to fix everything.
Because no matter how many women he had before, no matter how many times he tricks himself, he had always felt like it wasn’t what he’s been searching for.
And when he finally had a taste of you, he’s afraid he’s gonna want more. And he’s afraid that he’ll never feel the way it felt with you. He’s horrified that what happened opened his eyes with what’s the truth.
And when he felt the other side of the bed cold, he opens his eyes and you’re gone.
Yeah, this is just a game for you.
But for him? Oh, he’s eternally fucked. The shame, the guilt, and everything in between creeps up. And not of you, he’ll never—ever be ashamed of you. He’s guilty about the fact that he let himself get carried away.
Out of frustration, he hits his steering wheel as he drove. He can’t believe he just did that.
He was drunk, you were clearly not in the right state of mind. Even if you were, he was still drunk. What happened was fucked up, both for him and for you.
He takes a deep breath before pulling out his phone.
He carefully types, calculating everything he needs to say.
[7:35am] to: y/n
hey. dont say anything to my brother. it was a mistake, i was drunk. i don’t really like you like that.
He sent it quick, afraid he’d delete it if he hesitated longer. And just as he did, he felt his whole chest stiffen.
Because once again, he lied. Both to you, and to himself.
୧ ‧₊˚ ☆
You woke up through the sounds of your phone ringing. It was the next week after the whole thing happened with Jeno, and you’ve not craved anything but sleep.
Kun never asked questions. Which you’re thankful for, but you can’t help but feel bad.
You ghosted the guy, again, but he welcomed you into his apartment with open arms like nothing happened. His smile was there, the warmth of his embrace still the same.
Before you could even say anything about your guilt, he’s quick to tell you that it’s okay. He’s with you because he wants to. Although you can’t give him what he wants the most.
In a perfect world, if you weren’t so fucked up, you’d be with Kun, no questions asked.
You were lucky it was the weekend, and you’ve got no class. So you just laid on Kun’s couch, binging away, rotting in the cushions. Kun doesn’t mind, he says its better than you going out and drinking.
Which is true, plus you just can’t physically get yourself back up and doing what you do before, after what happened with Jeno.
Jeno, Jeno, Jeno. Fucking Lee Jeno.
It’s like a curse, following you all throughout your existence. He’s like a ghost stuck in your hip, a burden you’d beg to get off of you. There’s just no way you’d have to carry these feelings towards him until your seventy, right? Jesus.
Your head whips at the door when you hear it open, not expecting Kun to come home so early.
He’s not here ‘til 7, right?
“Oh, you’re still here.”
Well, you’re right. It’s not Kun. It’s his lovely roommate Ten. Note the sarcasm on the lovely part.
“Yeah.” You backed down to the couch.
If there’s anyone annoyed at your presence, it’s definitely Ten. You think he harbored the anger and disappointment Kun should’ve had with you— like some sort of anger translator.
“Your roommate must be overjoyed having your place for her own.” He says, with feign casualness in his tone.
“She’s doing fine,”
“I mean, at this point, you’re gonna have to pay your share with the rent.” He scoffs as he puts down his bag harshly on the counter.
You let out a deep breath, reminding yourself that this is also his place. You’re not in a position to return his attitude because you, in your own thoughts, are aware that you’ve overstayed your welcome.
“Kun says its okay–”
“That’s–” Ten’s voice in a high pitch, but quickly calming himself down. “--that’s because Kun can’t say shit to you. I don’t know if you noticed but my friend is literally insane for you. And of course, you like the attention.”
You can’t help but look at him, your mouth slacking due to disbelief of what he just said. You bit your lip and paused, not wanting to say things without thinking about it first. Again, you're not in a position where you’re purely innocent in this situation.
“What do you want me to do? Tell me. I’ll leave right now.” You managed to calm your tone, avoiding any more discussion.
“What I want you to do is to be straight with Kun, y/n. I know you’re used to being a player, but Kun isn’t. He agreed to your situationship because you weren’t ready. You ghosted him for a few weeks and still he took you in even tho I fucking knew it was a dumb decision because he’s just hoping to be with you again. If you’re not planning to be with my friend, then just fucking make your decision. I know you’re not that cruel to string him along. He’s a good person, y/n.”
His sudden outburst caught you off guard, but every word he said was like a slap to you. Every sentence was nothing but facts, and you knew deep inside that you were in the wrong. That Ten was right. Kun is way too good for you. He does not deserve this.
You felt your eyes starting to warm, for a hundredth time. You nod in agreement. However, you can tell he wasn’t finished.
“He’s not your back burner, y/n. And I’m not saying this to you because I have a problem with you, but I’m saying this because he’s my friend. At first it was fine, but when you treat him lesser than what he deserves, I just feel like you’re being.. really selfish. It’s clear that you have your eyes on someone else. But please, Kun doesn’t do this type of shit. He’s way too naive. Poor guy thought he did something wrong.” The last sentence hits you the most, thinking about Kun probably did think that he’s the one to blame.
You sniff, nodding along Ten’s statement. “I will… I’ll talk to him.” You quietly say. Ten just looks at you before sighing, walking towards his door. As soon as his door closes, the front door opened.
“Sweet cheeks, what’re you doing?” Kun asks, seeing you standing on the doorway staring at nothingness.
You immediately wiped your tears and looked at him with a smile. “Really sad netflix movie,” you excused. Kun doubts, but chooses to stay silent. He walks two steps in front of you before giving you a warm hug like he does everytime he sees you at his apartment.
You gulp, gathering courage to actually start the conversation.
“Uh, Can we talk?” you nip at the bottom of your shirt.
“Of course, princess,” The old nickname he had somewhat felt like an assurance that he’s still the same. It lifted a bit of weight in your chest.
You sat in one of the chairs, not knowing what to do. This place was once your safe haven, now it just feels strange knowing what kind of situation you are in.
“So, uhm, I want to apologize for.. essentially cutting you off. It’s just that, uh, I’ve been–”
“You’ve been with Lee Jeno, right?” he asks, a ghost of a smile still present in his face.
“Well, yeah, but also, I didn’t know that I had that much of a relevance in your life so...” you say, honestly.
“Darling, you were everything.” he pauses. “--but I know that I’m not what you need, or what you wanted. And that’s fine. You don’t need to feel bad, it’s just how it goes.”
“But I’m here, and I promise you, that you don’t need to feel responsible about how I feel. I’ll be fine.” He smiles, like he used to, but this time you know it’s fake.
“Kun, you’re too good for me. You deserve more than me.” Your eyes start to water, but Kun never lets it drop. He caresses your cheeks for what it feels like the last time, before nodding at you.
“I know, baby.” He leaned closer, lips slowly grazing yours. As you felt it, the instinct of kissing back was swift, but Kun did not give you the chance of doing so as he pulled away.
“Don’t kiss me back, please,” he mumbled, before caressing your face for what it felt like the last time before turning away.
And just like that, you lost the man who was ready to give you everything for a man who can’t even spare you a glance.
୧ ‧₊˚ ☆
Jeno is still out of his mind.
He had flunked out of practice, only attending a couple times out of the two weeks that he needed to attend. Barely even there, just standing and basically lifeless in the court.
His coach and his teammates already feel less secure because of Jeno’s state of mind, especially when he’s supposed to be the team’s captain. He feels like shit, truly, and he knows he should be focusing on the game. But how can he, when all he can think of is you?
His coach gave him a hard talking but even that can’t seem to shake him up. His willingness to play disappeared like it was nothing.
He’s pretty sure the entire team hates him now, and if only there’s time to replace him, they’d definitely do it, but finding a replacement, with his skills, is basically impossible. Moreso in limited time.
As soon as he enters his apartment, he throws his bag on the floor and tunnels through his room to lock himself in there. But as soon as he entered it, he was shocked to find his brother laying in his bed.
“What’re you doing here?” He asks, confused.
“Just want to know something,” Jisung says, slowly sitting up. He looks up his brother, standing in the door frame. Jeno couldn’t read his expression, but its pretty clear that he’s not happy.
“Did you sleep with y/n?”
Jeno didn’t know how to react, his eyes widened and for a while, he had nothing to say. But in the end, he knew this was bound to happen. If not you, it would be him spilling the information to his brother.
He didn’t need to say anything, and he knew the silence is more than enough for Jisung to conclude.
“She really likes you, you know? I just–” Jisung paused, “--I just don’t know why you’d sleep with her when you don’t like her back. You know she likes you, hyung. What, is this like an ego thing? She’s y/n, hyung. You know she’s different.” Jisung honestly just sounded confused and tired. He’s not angry, not upset, he comes off like he just wanted proper answers from his brother.
“Dude, just get out.” Jeno dismissed, which pissed off his younger brother more.
“Oh fuck you. You can’t even hold a conversation with your own brother? And if only it’s not y/n, I wouldn’t even waste my time. But it’s her. You know her,”
Jeno took a deep breath. “I like her too, Jisung. No, fuck, scratch that. I fucking love her.”
For a minute, it was silence. Jisung then took the initiative to talk,
“Talk to mom, hyung.”
୧ ‧₊˚ ☆
Jeno was sixteen, when he realized that he likes the way you smile at him.
He saw you run down the stairs and straight to the kitchen. You were at his brother’s room, for a sleepover with his brother and Chenle. He was lounging on the couch, and he didn’t bother to turn on the lights. He likes to lay in here at night, cuddling with his cat, Bongsik. He can’t let the cat into his room because of his allergies, so he just settled on the couch.
Because Bongsik was alerted of your presence, the cat follows you to the kitchen. Jeno, of course, followed in pursuit. He can still remember the cute expression you had when you discovered Bongsik on the table.
He smiles at you, struggling to get chips from the cabinet. Naturally, he grabbed it for you. You had asked if Bongsik was new, and he answered yes.
“Yep, a rescue. Mom brought it home the other day. Jisung freaked,” He chuckles as he looks at the cat, snuggling in his chest.
He can see you almost begging with your eyes, wanting to pet the cat. So he let you. Surprisingly, Bongsik, who’s usually grumpy, purrs as soon as your hands come in contact with it.
You were so careful, and Jeno almost wants to chuckle at your meek attempt at staring at him.
A slight smile on your face was something Jeno noticed, from a close distance. He surely did not expect you to be this soft and angelic, but he thought to himself, that your smile is something he’d like to get used to.
Jeno was eighteen when he made his first mistake.
He had invited his friends over at his house. He had made some really cool friends, and he even got this girl he’s been trying to get with to tag along. Jeno feels nervous, of course, he wants to impress them.
Besides Jaemin, Haechan and Renjun, he also invites some people from the basketball team he’s trying to get into, and some girls that are part of the circle. And of course, the girl he had liked, Eunmi.
His friends encouraged him to make a move tonight, and for some dumb reason, he thought it would be romantic to bring out wine. So he went to the kitchen to do so, but got surprised when a soft voice called his name.
It was you. Your shy demeanor, and your avoiding gaze startles him but he can’t help but smile. You’re so cute.
He clears that with whatever you were gonna tell him, make it quick because someone’s waiting for him. But as soon as you open your mouth to say the next words,
“I like you. Very much.”
He feels like his feet are frozen. His heart starts to race and if only he wasn’t leaning on the counter behind him, he would definitely stumble. His grip on the wine glass tightens. He doesn’t know what to do.
The next words just came out, and he instantly regrets it.
“...I-I’m just being nice.. I have to be nice. You’re my brother’s best friend.” In a split second before Eumi interrupts the conversation, he can clearly see the pain in your eyes. The initial shock of the fact that he’s rejecting you was prominent in your face and he just wanted to take every word back at that point.
But before he could even utter another word, Eunmi decided to take over. You then quickly walked out, but before you can turn around, he sees a teardrop, and by then, he’s sure he’s made a mistake. He can’t believe he just broke your innocent heart.
Eunmi is no longer in his mind, his friends no longer his priority, the entirety of the night, you plagued his mind. He wanted to run after you, and apologize. But what exactly is it for? It’s not like he was rude. He was calm, but still, you were visibly upset.
Jeno blames himself, until the night ends, he shoots his brother a message to ask you if you were okay. He needs to know.
Jeno was twenty when he breaks his own heart for the first time.
He can’t believe his eyes. He doesn’t know which emotion he should feel, the anger that slowly builds up upon seeing you entering the party with Jungwoo, or the adoration to seeing you looking that good in your mini dress.
You had walked in with the confidence he failed to notice before, with Jungwoo’s arm around your waist. He clenches his fist, but soon he gets caught in his own mind when his girlfriend of two weeks leans over to him.
The train of thought he had was still there, however, he was forced to pretend like everything’s fine. Although he can’t look at you in the eye, when he can certainly feel your gaze time to time.
What he can’t absolutely avoid tho, is his eyes on Jungwoo’s touches. Since when did you let a random man touch you like that?
More so, a man like Jungwoo? Much older than you, and he doesn’t remember Jungwoo and you ever be in the same vicinity as each other. Why are you so comfortable with him already?
Green doesn’t suit Jeno. So he tries to focus on the girl beside him. But mentally, he counts the shots that was given to you. Too many, and if the situation is different, he’d take those shots and shove it up Jungwoo’s ass.
But as soon as you stood up, his quick reaction was to follow you.
All he can think about is you getting out of here.
“Find Chenle. Now.” He groaned, despite his anger, he doesn’t like yelling at you.
What you did next was unexpectable.
You had tried to kiss him.
His reflex was to push you, and that, he did. His demeanor changes, and everything that falls from his lips after that was a blur to him.
One thing’s clear, the look in your eyes. You were so defeated, but Jeno didn’t let it affect him. He was blinded by anger, and the fact that you’re so drunk that you’d kiss just anyone. Not to mention a man that has a girl! What has gotten into you?
“Are you that desperate? I rejected you already, didn’t I? I will never look at you different than being my brother’s best friend, y/n! So stop this fucking delusion while I’m being nice.” Lies after lies after lies.
He was completely out of his mind when he said that to you.
And when you cried in front of him, he felt his own heart break. Every tear is equivalent to a stab right through his chest.
Right there and then, he wanted to beg for your forgiveness. Say that everything wasn’t true, that he doesn’t think you were desperate. Hell, he would kiss you back if you’d let him.
But all those hope was thrown away when you left. Because what’s left was this strange, terrifying feeling that somehow, this was the last straw for you.
And Jeno despises himself for causing you pain, over and over. He curses at his own self for being so coward.
“Hey Jen, how are you?” His mom’s voice was enthusiastic as ever. Even over the phone, he can hear the smile in her face.
He thinks he should be honest. “Not good,”
“Aw, is it your practice? Don’t worry darling, just a few more months and you’ll be graduating!” He smiles at his mother’s sweet voice of anticipation, he can just imagine the tiny claps she does.
“No, mom. I—“ He closes his eyes in frustration. “I have to talk to you about something,”
“What is it? Is it your brother? About y/n?” Her tone changes, now sounding concerned.
Jeno curses mentally, because of how quick his mom mentioned you.
“It’s about y/n,” he says lowly, testing the waters for a bit.
He hears a deep sigh, “I called her a week ago and she’s been real distant from me, Jen. Anything I should know?”
“Mom,” He almost whines. He just wants to spill it out.
“What? You’re worrying me. Is our y/n okay? God, she’s been out of control, hasn’t she?” The concern is now intensified, and Jeno thinks he should just spit it out. But his tongue can’t seem to say it.
“She.. she’s fine.”
“Good gracious, okay. I thought something had happened. Her mother must be frowning at me from heaven right now. Still remember your promise to your Auntie, right?”
Bingo. The very reason as to why he can’t just say it. Why he can’t just be with you already. It’s because of this god forsaken promise that he made.
“You need to be a big brother to her, treat her as your sister. She has nothing but us now, Jeno.”
He almost cries, he just wanted to yell. He felt as though he failed his mother, your mother and you. He shouldn’t be feeling this emotion towards you. This harbored feelings are forbidden. He can’t. He just… can’t.
He lets his eyes get warmer, gripping in his phone harshly. He takes a huge, deep breath.
“Mom, I love her. So much. I- I can’t… I can’t keep on hurting her and pretending that I only look at her as a sister.” He pleads, finally letting it known. There’s no turning back.
Silence was deafening on the other line. Every millisecond, he can feel his heartbeat race.
“Jeno, we’ve talked about this.”
“I love her, mom. I do, I really do.” He cries, for the first time in a long time.
“She’s your sis—“
“She’s not! God, she’s your best friend’s daughter, I know that but I’m not her older brother. I’m a person that truly loves her. I have loved her for so many years but I keep on h—“
“Jeno, hush, darling. I understand… but she’s our family. If all these feelings get old and you decide you don’t love her anymore, who will she turn to? Not us, darling because at the end of the day, we’re your family. I’m just… worried about her, she has… no one to turn to if this all blows up.” His mother’s response, despite the rise of emotion, was still calm and soft.
“I won’t, mom. Please, just let me love her. I can’t keep hurting her, mom, It kills me.” Jeno never begged this much. Just for you. His only exception.
His mother pauses, way too long, before finally breathing out again. “Okay, darling. I trust you. But please. I beg you, not to hurt her. We’re all that she’s got.”
Jeno whips his head up, baffled as to how easy she agreed to him. A little to no persuasion, and it didn’t even take ten minutes.
“What? J-just like that?” Jeno questions in disbelief. Years of yearning, years of hurting you, when Jeno could just do this early on?
His mom, regardless of the moment, managed to let out a breathy chuckle.
“Darling, you’ve proven yourself over the years. Me and your Dad had an inkling that you have a special admiration for Y/n ever since before. Its just unfortunate that her mother had to pass, and had asked us a favor— more to you, to look after Y/N like your own sibling. And when you agreed, I felt like it’s just how it goes. But years of seeing you pretend to not care about her, and seeing you struggle to cope with your feelings, I knew then that you were serious.”
“Me and your Dad realized that our eldest, really, has grown up to be a man. And seeing you still have the same passion and the same feelings towards her until now, says that you’d stop at nothing at this point. So what’s the use of preventing you?”
And with that, Jeno was free. Free of constraint, of guilt and control over his own will and feelings.
Like a baby, Jeno falls asleep with tears in his eyes. In complete satisfaction on how things went. Now, his only problem is getting to you, and begging for your forgiveness. Wishing by then, you’d still want him.
୧ ‧₊˚ ☆
Jeno didn’t waste his time. As soon as the morning comes, he’s fast on his feet. He wants to talk to you, he wants to clear everything up. He had tried to text and call, but he quickly realized you blocked his number.
He called his brother next, but Jisung also has not heard from you since yesterday.
It wasn’t until 5pm that he couldn’t find you, he started to worry. None of your friends know where you are, and you’re not in your apartment either.
He contacted every possible soul that could even have a hint on where you’re at, but none of them knows.
He feels like he’s running out of time, running out of momentum.
And just as soon as he was about to call for help, he received a message.
[5:32pm] unknown number
she’s at dreamscape hill. she likes going there to ease her mind. take care of her, please. -k
He didn’t care to ask who it was, he just prayed that whoever sent him this message was right.
And off to dreamscape hill, Jeno goes.
He can barely catch his breath when he arrived, heart pounding at his chest. It was past sundown when he found you sitting at the bench, on top of the hill.
It’s you. He’s sure it’s you. To the curves of your shoulder, to the waves of your hair. Call it creepy, but he spent years looking at your back, from afar, forbidden to even glance at you when you’re close. So yes, he’s a hundred percent sure that it’s you.
He’s a few feet behind you, when he noticed the earphones you had on. Probably why you didn’t hear the ruffling of the twigs and leaves as he walked closer.
And in divine timing, you look back at your shoulder, looking straight at Jeno’s eyes, as if it made sense why he’s here.
Slowly, you pull the earphones out.
“What’re you doing here?” You ask, almost a whisper. But the city in front of you gave him enough silence to hear every breath you take.
“Finding you,” he answers. He struggles to keep his words straight, the thumping in his chest causing him to stutter.
You blink thrice, seems like you’re still processing Jeno’s answer.
“Why?”
Jeno took a couple step, and finally he sat beside you. he looked forward at the cityscape. He took note of your body language, it seems to him that you’re starting to get nervous.
“To tell you I’m sorry. I’m sorry it took this long for me to find you. I’m sorry I hurt you, I’m sorry for making you cry. I’m sorry that I wasted years, and I’m so sorry I lied.” Jeno says every word with great diction, in perfect pace and clear voice. He wants you to understand every word that he says.
He hears you let out a huff, as if in disbelief. His heart went even more faster, scared on what you might say.
He’s never anticipated an answer like this before. He never had to grip at his own knees in nervousness before. He can’t even look at your expression.
“I think we’re past that, Jeno.”
This is what he’s afraid of. He might be too late, he might fuck this up. Nevertheless, he’ll never regret trying.
“I know that I’m years too late but you need to understand—“
“I don’t need to understand nothing. What I need is to just live my life, love my life. I have spent years yearning for you, let me love myself too. I think I’ve loved you since I met you, Jeno. I just mistook it for curiosity. Everyone else isn’t you, and turns out that’s a huge problem for me.” Jeno can hear you smile, and when he finally let himself take a look, he softens.
You’re smiling like you used to smile. You’re smiling like you again.
“That’s because we thought we could alter fate, and tell me I’m batshit crazy for believing but I can prove to you that we’re just… soulmates, y/n. Y-you’re meant for me as much as I am for you.” These are some words Jeno never thought he would use. The things you make him do.
You chuckle again, while shaking your head. Do you find it ridiculous? Do you think Jeno is joking? Are you finding all of these insufferable? God, Jeno wished he could read you.
“We are not soulmates, Jeno. This is not some divine intervention, and shit, this is not fate. I wanted this. I knit the threads of my destiny until it spelled your name. I love you intentionally, Jeno. It’s not the stars and the heavens that brought us together. I did.”
Jeno was speechless. He could not utter a single word, he felt like he had no right to dictate you about what you feel. He’s ashamed, because what you said was right. You made him feel this, because of your desire for him, you made him fall. And damn it, he fell hard.
“It’s like you filled my lungs with flowers, although they are pretty, it made it hard for me to breathe. That's how much I wanted you.”
“Y/n, I will apologize to you forever if you wanted me to. Just… just please, let me have my chance.” Jeno begged like he never did before. He let his emotions out, and all for you. Because you deserve it. You deserve the real him.
Slowly, he felt your hand on his clenched fist, instantly letting it loose. He took the opportunity to lace your fingers together. It felt right, like your hand always belonged intertwined with his.
“If I took this chance with you, that would be the knife that would slit my own fucking throat, Jeno. And you know what’s funny? I’d probably apologize for bleeding in your shirt.”
“So let me have this time for myself, Jeno. And just like the old saying, time will tell. And if we find each other without even looking, then that’s when I’ll believe in that fate you were talking about.”
As your grip in his hand loosens, he felt like this was the first and last time he’ll get to hold your hand. He wanted to be selfish and not let you go, but he knows he’d be cruel to do that.
So he didn’t move. “I’ll see you around,” you say.
“I’ll find you,” he whispered, to you, to himself, and to whoever who’s listening. Let it be the heavens, or the devil in hell. He whispered to anybody, because he knows he’ll do it, and he wants everyone to stand witness to this promise.
“Sure you will,”
And in every step you made, as your body slowly walks away, you took his heart with you. Its yours, anyway. He’ll just have to find you to have it back.
୧ ‧₊˚ ☆
“Lee Jeno! Lee Jeno! Lee Jeno!”
The screams from the bleachers never seemed to falter, only getting louder each time.
The band is on full blast, people running around down the court as soon as the last whistle of the game went off.
Jeno had won the much awaited game against the SKU, with a whopping 73 points under his belt, making it the first time in his school’s history to earn that many points, by a single player, in one game.
This just solidified his reputation, being named the greatest player that had ever stepped foot on this campus.
And to make this game, even more legendary than it already is, it’s the last game of the season before Jeno graduates. So he’s literally going out with a bang with this one.
His teammates celebrated the win, begging Jeno to go the the victory party. For the first time, Jeno refused to attend a victory party. Much more, a victory he made happen.
He walked past the girls that’s lining up to take a picture with him, immediately walking straight back to the lockers.
He shoots a text at Renjun, informing his friend that he’ll head home, instead of attending the party.
He was about to turn to his locker, when his name was called by a familiar voice.
Jeno looked back, and to his disappointment, it’s Jennie.
“Why haven’t you answered my calls? It’s been months, Jeno! You can’t just..” Jennie couldn’t even finish her sentence, stomping her feet like a toddler.
Yes. It has been months since he blocked every girl that he had ever slept with.
Three months, thirteen days, and twenty-one hours, to be exact.
“My team’s gonna be here soon. You don’t want me to embarrass you in front of them, trust me.” Jeno’s threat was casual, but he’s serious enough for Jennie to take the hint.
“B-but, Jen, it's me.” Jennie’s voice turns softer, making Jeno cringe at the tone. She then tried to touch his shoulder, but Jeno was quick to dodge.
“Exactly. You’re you, Jennie. And I don’t like you.”
The girl was aghast, to say the least. Her mouth wide open in disbelief. Taking Jeno’s advice, albeit with offense, she stomps her way out of the lockers.
Just as he said, his teammates started flocking in, with his coach holding the trophy. He lost count on how many pats in the back he received after the game. The repetitive congratulatory messages are starting to grow old.
“Are you really not coming? You’re literally the man of the year, dude. Everybody’s gonna be looking for you!” Sungchan, one of his teammates says.
“Nope,” Jeno says with a pop.
“Come on, this’ll probably the last victory party you’ll ever have!” Yangyang joins in, but Jeno just shrugged his shoulders.
“Sorry, dude. I got a thesis paper due in two days.”
A plethora of complains, grunts and ‘what?!’s came pouring in after his statement, but Jeno stood his ground.
Jeno was serious. He needs to study for his thesis paper, and pass it on time. His professor expects him to match his academics to his basketball career, and he doesn’t want to disappoint.
Before the commotion gets even more wild, and before Jeno gets kidnapped into attending the party, he swiftly bids farewell to his coach, the only person that mattered to him. His coach just shook his head and gave him a nod, before letting him go.
“You did well, kid.”
Jeno heads through the parking lot. He had been stopped by students every ten seconds therefore his usual 4 minute walk to his car ended up being 30 minutes.
He starts up the engine, but before taking off, he checks some of his messages.
[8:43pm] dong(yuck!): congratulations, lebron ‘lee jeno’ james! the game was so cool dude u look good throwing balls lol btw im staying at my girls hauz. also ur welcome. also enjoy. lolz
[8:54pm] jaemjaem: dude that game!!! ur on FIRE my guy!! pls pls apply for nba so i can watch courtside with kanye west :D im out rn and i wont be home til tmrw. ur welcome ;)
[8:59] jisung: great game couldve been better tho… anyways… wrap it b4 u tap it!!!
[9:02pm] injunnie <3: game was lit. didnt understand shit abt the game but u did good. im spending the night @ my moms so u better make it worth it, lee jeno.
Jeno’s breath hitches, and before he could even question the hints his roommates are giving him, another ping notifies his phone.
[9:04pm] unknown number: hi. im at urs. can we talk?
Jeno knows not to speed, but tonight, he swears his tires didn’t even touch the concrete. He is flying off the highway.
With sweaty palms, he enters the security code to his door. Hands shaking, he opens it up and with the sight of a woman’s shoes on his doorstep, he takes a deep breath.
“I hope you don’t mind, it was Jaemin’s idea to let me in without telling you. Uh, so if you’re not—“
“Y/n,” he gulps as he takes in your figure, standing in the middle of his kitchen.
“Yeah.. it’s me.” You smile tightly, shrugging your shoulders.
Even though Jeno was ready to leap and drown you in his embrace, he stood his ground. He’s still not sure why you’re here, and until you say so, he’s not moving. The last thing he wants to do is push your boundaries.
“What’re— what are you—” He feels stupid. Stuttering like a five year old in front of you.
“Figured we could talk. Jisung and Chenle got sick of me moping around so they made me—“
“I hope you’re not being forced to talk to me. I told you, I’ll wait. No matter how long,” The sincerity laced in his voice was prominent.
“I promise you, I went here in my own will. Two idiots just talked some sense into me, and Jisung told me about the promise you made my mom years ago.”
Then there was silence. But this time, it wasn’t deafening. It was peaceful. Its as if you two are finding serenity in each others presence and just the way you stare at each other already says the words your mouth couldn’t speak.
But Jeno cut it short. “Does this mean..”
“I want to try, Jeno. I want to experience this with you. Slowly, at our own pace. I want to go on dates. Carnivals. Watch netflix. Everything, with you.” There's a tinge of shyness in your voice, and Jeno just wants you to scream it out. You don’t need to shy away from him.
“Everything, with me. At your own pace. I’ll accept everything you can offer,” He assured your worried mind.
You nod gently. “I want to feel loved without feeling like I’m begging for it,”
Jeno shakes his head vigorously, “No, baby, you’ll never beg to be loved, ever again. I swear in my grave.” He takes one step closer.
“I’ll trust you and risk getting my heart broken again, but I really hope you won’t.”
One more step closer “I will never. Baby, you’re it for me. I didn’t know it before, but I should’ve known it was you, because no one else made sense.”
You nod again, biting your lip. “When I visited my mom, I told her about you,”
“Yeah?” Jeno asks, in a sweet tone, taking another step closer.
You smiled at him. “I bet she would trust you too,”
“I will not break her trust. Not again,”
He watches carefully as you raise your hand to cup his cheeks, his reaction was to lean into your touch. He takes your initiative as a signal, but still takes his movement slowly.
You gulp, looking up at him. “Can you love me now?”
“Oh, baby. I have loved you since forever. It just took me time to realize it.”
And then, as you tiptoe to match his height, he feels your lips on him and he swears that you taste like heaven.
Jeno didn’t remember how long you talked that night, but somewhere in the midst of your laughter and smiles, he decided that he would destroy the world for you.
Because you might not know it, but in every universe, in every lifetime, and in every story, Jeno has always been completely, madly, and inevitably yours.
A/N: From the bottom of my heart, I apologize for making you guys wait this long. I promise, it just happened to be my worst year ever :'(( but at least she's here! I just wish this could at least be worth it. Tune in for the next part (I promise, it would NOT take this long lmao)
summary: ➸ ♡ To say that Lee Jeno is pretty would be an understatement. The man's gorgeous. One thing he uses to his advantage, going through college getting girls he spots his eyes on. But there's one he just couldn't get. His brother's bestfriend. You can continue and avoid your feelings for each other, but eventually, it'll happen. You were someone that stayed, a constant in his life. You might not know it, but for the years you've known Lee Jeno, he slowly became yours, inevitably.
"I should've known it was you, because no one else made sense."
GENRE: Angst, Fluff, Humour, Smut
WARNINGS: Minors DNI, Explicit Sexual Content, Language, Slight Alcoholism, Mentions of Drugs/Weed, fuckboy!Jeno, brothersbsf!reader
AUTHOR's NOTE: Holy shit, it's done! I was about to pull all my hairs off for this one :// but i can finally say that it's all worth it! I hope y'all are still here. And I really wish y'all would like this story. Enjoy reading!
WC: 18 k (I tried my best)
DISCLAIMER: This story is purely fanfiction. Only the names of the Idols are used, and does not reflect on them in real life. There's no way in any shape of form that they are like this in person, because I MADE IT UP. I don't personally know them. DO NOT STEAL / TRANSLATE / MODIFY. This is my work and I don't appreciate people stealing it. Thank you.
Enjoy reading! -ryo
Lee Jeno is a phenomenon.
Jeno, on the other hand, likes to think he’s just a pretty boy who kinda knows how to dribble.
Maybe he’s not bad in the actual learning part too, maybe he did get an award for the research paper he did on Biochemistry last year. Maybe he won MVP on three consecutive basketball tournaments, making history in his school as the only player to excel in both the sports and academics.
So yeah. He’s a textbook definition of an A-list student that you would totally see in one of the frames along the halls of this very school in about thirty years, with the trophies and accolades he made during his time here.
You wanna hear what’s even more annoying?
He’s hot. And he knows it. Please, he’s so undeniably gorgeous it's starting to hurt.
Unlike his friends, Jeno keeps it on the down-low. Which was surprising because he had every right to be cocky and brag about all of his achievements but he’s the least show-y among his friends.
In Jeno’s defense, he likes to let his performance do all the talking.
Words on the street says he fucks like an incubus, but talks like an angel. He’s proven to be hung, emphasizing the word proven, based on the girls he had walking side to side after he spent a good, long night with them.
But despite all of that, he’s pretty cool and quiet most of the time.
Which is even more attractive. According to a study based on no-actual-facts, girls tend to like the quiet ones more. Especially when they look like a greek god that managed to escape mythology and then learned to be a legend in basketball instead. In simplified terms, girls like Lee Jeno.
Naturally, of course, girls are all over him. That's something really common between the four of his friends, and you're not shocked that Jeno sleeps around-- because he just can. Girls will literally faint in front of him if they could, just to get his attention.
“Don’t make a sound,” he whispered, desperately trying to finish while a girl, known as Jennie, was bent over the counter. His hands covered her mouth, and to be frank, he just want this to be over with.
And of course, in typical fashion, Jennie is also a name most of the students are familiar with. Cheerleading captain, arguably a girl that’s expected to be with him. What makes it so easy, is that this girl is obsessed with Jeno.
Meanwhile Jeno, had no indication of being tied down. He likes hanging out with her sometimes, sure, but the girl’s way too much for him. Jeno likes being lowkey, despite being one of the most famous guy in campus, Jeno preferred to be outside the spotlight.
A couple more thrust, his eyes closed, mind far from the girl bent over in front of him who’s just desperately wanting to pleasure him, Jeno finishes. He murmured a curse, and as soon as the feeling of cumming washes off, guilt starts creeping in his veins as Jennie smiled in satisfaction as she fixes her uniform.
“God, you’re still so fucking good,” Jennie put her hands around Jeno’s neck, biting her lips in hopes to seduce the cold man in front of her.
“Come on, my brother’s gonna be here soon,” Jeno shrugged her hands off, fixing his shirt. He did not even get the chance to take it off, Jennie just went and got what she wanted as soon as she enters the apartment.
Don’t be mistaken tho, Jeno liked having sex, more so with a girl like Jennie. But Jeno’s consciousness can’t help and tell him that he’s stringing along this girl, knowing full well he’s not even one bit interested in pursuing a relationship with her.
Jennie never really cared about what he thinks tho, so that kinds of shaves a bit off of his guilt.
“Call me, okay?” Jennie tried to give him a kiss, but he’s fast enough to dodge it.
Jeno sighed as he walked the girl to the door. And in some wicked timing, his brother opened it, his step stuttering as he saw Jennie, but never minded the fact that the girl is walking side to side. Jisung, his brother, have seen this situation way too much before that it doesn’t shock him anymore.
Another footstep followed behind Jisung, You, not even sparing a glance over him, walking behind his brother. You looked bored, giving absolutely no interest over him or Jennie. He never really got bothered about it before. He’s just wondering when you started ignoring his existence like this.
You were nothing like the girl he witnessed growing up all these years.
The sweet smiles you used to offer him were all gone. The once cute little y/n that he knew were long gone. But what can he do, that’s just how it goes. Right?
People change. And you weren't an exception. But deep inside, Jeno has this unsettling sensation that hunts him at night. This isn’t you. You used to light up the room whenever you walked in. You used to make him believe in butterflies and rainbows and shit, but now, you’re just… there.
Jeno often wonders. But that’s about it. He’s way too much of a pussy to actually read through your chapters that led into this character you have now. So Jeno, the ever so nonchalant, settles in being curious– not concerned in finding answers.
୧ ‧₊˚ ☆
You were twelve, when you met Jisung.
At first, you’re confused. There’s a new family that moved in next door. It was a common occurrence in your neighborhood, really. In your very-long life experience of twelve years, you’ve seen countless families moving in and out. So you question in your pretty little head why your Mom is way too excited about this next one.
Turns out, the family that will be moving in is your Mom’s best friend. You were twelve, you did not care about your Moms friends like that. Apparently, they’ve been best friends ever since they were five. They just kept in touch all these years.
“I'm Jisung,” the little boy, an inch taller than you, reached out his peculiarly large hands at you.
You felt your Mom nudge you a little bit, so in annoyance, you accepted his hand. “Y/n.”
Both mothers shrieked in excitement, but you were busy trying to examine this boy's hands.
Little did you know, that handshake would lead to years of friendship that you’d forever cherish, no matter how annoying this boy with freakishly large hands is.
“Who’s that?” You ask, still helping Jisung to count all his pokemon cards. You point outside their house, by the courtside next to their pool.
Jisung looks, but rolls his eyes after. “That’s my big brother, Jeno-hyung. He’s obsessed with basketballs.”
Your little twelve year old eyes sparkle, watching the boy shoot hoops around the court.
“Ew, you like boys?!” Jisung, disgusted.
“Your brother isn’t a boy, You’re a boy. He’s a man.” You sigh dreamily in sight of Jeno, making Jisung gag.
“He’s old, like, fourteen. Please, he’s a loser! Playing with balls all day,” Jisung says as he waves his hands in an attempt to distract you from his brother.
“Oh well…” you didn’t let it falter your adoration towards Jeno.
And before you could even watch him longer than you wished, Jisung’s mother called you two in for clubhouse sandwiches, and she made banger sandwiches so you really had to follow up to the kitchen.
You were fourteen, when you realized you had a crush on Jisung’s big brother.
“That’s bullshit, the paranormal movie is full of crap!” Chenle, your new found friend, complains as soon as the movie ends. His high pitched voice woke you up, not even realizing you had slept halfway through the movie.
“Dude, it’s from CCTV footage. It’s definitely true!” Jisung counters, and you just want to go back to sleep again.
The Paranormal Movie was mediocre, and maybe you were just a sceptic, but ghosts just doesn’t do it for you. “Most of these horror films really just depend on jumpscares to be scary.”
“Oh, coming from Miss Little poopy pants over here,”
The room went silence over Jisung’s attempt at a clapback, you and Chenle looking at each other before breaking into a laughing pit.
“Poopy pants? Really?” You say, refusing to believe that Jisung still used that term as an insult.
Jisung, obviously flustered, resorted in grabbing two cushions, one at each hands and started throwing them at the both of you.
“Just get the freaking potato chips downstairs.” Jisung says, specifically to you.
“What? No! I’m not going down there!” You say, as you bury yourself further on Jisung’s bed.
“Because you’re scared?” Chenle, in a mocking tone. You flip him off, to try and cover the fact that you are scared because it’s night time and the lights are off.
“No, ghosts aren’t real. Why can’t Chenle go?” You whine even more.
“He already got the drinks, and this is my house so what I say goes!” Jisung grabbed your wrist and pulled you out of the bed.
And because you like proving your point that ghosts aren’t real, you let out a grunt, stomping your way out of Jisung's room.
Your way down the stairs goes smoothly, the light still being on. But as soon as you turn to the dark kitchen, that’s when it creeps in. Yes, you do not believe in ghosts, but you’d be fooling yourself if you say that being alone in the large empty kitchen didn’t scare you.
“Oh, god.” You whisper to yourself, as you desperately find the chips cabinet. Rummaging through as quiet as possible, but also trying to find it as soon as possible.
But when a noise from the table interrupts the creepy silence, you can’t help but yelp out a scream.
“Oh my gosh!”
You turn your head towards the table, just to find a cute little cat that had lost its way through the big surface.
“Thank God it was just a little cat,” you say in relief, but as soon as you try and step closer to it, a name being called from the stairs can be heard.
“Bongsik-ah!”
So it has a name. Bongsik.
A figure walks down the stairs, obviously, being Jeno.
You immediately fold into yourself, biting your lip as soon as he enters the kitchen.
“What are you doing down here?” He says as he carries the cat off the table and on his chest. It took a couple of seconds for him to look at you, and he smiles.
“Y/n-ie. Do you need something from the kitchen?” His soft voice snaps you from the trance, as he helps you with the chips you were trying to get from the upper cabinet. His body was so close to you as he did so, that you swear you can feel his heart beating.
“Y-yeah.. Just those chips. Thanks.” Your entire demeanor changes when it comes to him.
“Here you go,” He says softly, you wonder if he intentionally talks to you like that, or it’s just how he talks. A little bit inside you likes to believe you’re special and that he does this only to you.
“Thanks, uh– new cat?” You say in the most casual tone you could ever produce.
“Yep, a rescue. Mom brought it home the other day. Jisung freaked,” He chuckles as he looks at the cat, snuggling in his chest.
You awe in sight, wanting to pet the cat but you hesitated at first.
“You can pet it,” Jeno moves his body to yours, to allow you to pet Bongsik. You did so, and when the cat purrs at your touch, you gasp in awe.
“Hi Bongsik,” you say in a whisper, intended for the cat only. But you can feel Jeno smile at you.
“You can visit her everyday, not that you’re not here everyday, but she’s gonna be here starting now..”
“She’s adorable,” you say, still petting the cat in his arms.
“I love cats, any pet really. But cats just really bring out the inner softness in me, y’know?” Him being this close to you feels weird and intimate, but it's not like you hate it. Your heart is practically doing jumping-jacks right now.
You use him focusing on Bongsik as an excuse to look at him, even just a glance.
You get a closer look on his face, the mole he has under his left eye, the thin lips and his perfect nose. In the two seconds you allow yourself to take a peek, you convince yourself that you had his features memorized now.
You can just feel that it’s just gonna live with you forever.
Because as he takes Bongsik away and starts walking back up the stairs, you make a big-girl realization that you do have a crush on Lee Jeno.
୧ ‧₊˚ ☆
Jeno was woken up by the sound of his phone ringing. It was his brother, Jisung, calling in the middle of the night asking for his keys.
“What do you need my car for?” Jeno, frustrated as he grabs his keys from the night stand.
“My car broke down and Y/N really needs to get home.” Jisung on the other line also sounded like he just woke up. Jeno curses under his breath.
This wasn’t the first time he heard his brother in trouble with you being the main source of chaos. It’s always the same thing. Either you’re black-out drunk, or one of your boyfriends has dumped you on the side of the street.
Over the years, you had changed so drastically it almost gave him a whiplash. You used to be so careful and so paranoid about drinking, waiting until you turn 18 to get a sip of alcohol. And when you did, it’s like you never stopped.
So despite Jeno’s interrupted slumber, he gets up and leaves his shared apartment with his friends, just to wait outside his building for his brother. And surely, just like every other time this has happened before, he finds Jisung standing there in the cold.
“I need my car tomorrow, in pristine condition. One scratch and you’re done,” Jeno, tossing the car keys to his brother.
Jisung didn’t bother to answer, depicting the reality of brotherhood. But before Jisung could leave, Jeno turns to him.
“What happened this time?”
“She’s really–”
“Drunk?” Jeno finishes his sentence, as if he had seen this before. Jisung sighs in agreement.
“--yeah, and Chenle’s drunk too so he can’t drive her back to the apartment.”
“What happened to her? She isn’t really like this, at all.” Jeno dared to indulge in one of his curiosities.
“I’ve been asking the same question, hyung.” Jisung ends the conversation without really answering Jeno’s question, which frustrated him more.
Because of course, nobody really knows what happened. It’s a question he needs to ask you, directly. Only if you didn’t spend the last few years avoiding being on the same vicinity as him, then maybe he could actually talk to you.
“Three seconds left on the clock, Lee, for the three.. He shoots… and bang! Lee Jeno has done it again!”
Jeno thinks it’s getting way too easy for him. Winning at this point just felt like a routine for him. The new normal, it’s just how it goes around him now. Everytime the other team makes a mistake of letting him have the ball, the game ends with Jeno taking home the win.
Honestly, it’s getting pretty boring and predictable.
“That’s my fuckin’ man!” Yangyang, one of his teammates, excitedly hugs Jeno as he entered yet again another victory party for his team. It’s his second one this semester.
“Okay, dude, chill.” Jeno pushes the very drunk Yangyang away, afraid of getting thrown up on.
As he sinks his feet deeper into the party, he starts getting loose. The alcohol hitting the tense spot in his body, reminding him that fuck it, he’s the man of the evening. This party is for him. So why not have fun, right?
The music starts to sound less chaotic and more tolerable, and the people start to get blurry. Weed and alcohol really does the trick, Jeno thinks.
“Jeno, the man of the hour! That game was lit!” Jeno’s not sure who’s this man, but nevertheless, he still smiled at him and let him dap him up. He blabbers more and more about Jeno’s career path in professional basketball but just like always, Jeno just dismiss it.
It’s too early to plan for the future. He’s enjoying what he has now and content on just thinking about what happens today.Tomorrow is tomorrow’s problem, and he can’t be bothered to be bothered about what his future brings.
Some people likes to think they know what’s best for Jeno, and sometimes it does make sense, Jeno getting to the professional basketball league, in tune to what he does best now. But fuck that. Jeno doesn’t want to be in a box full of other people’s expectation of him.
“Jaemin’s not here?” Jeno finds relief to hear Renjun’s voice, one of his very few trusted people. In some way, knowing Renjun was here by his side, it made him feel that he’s okay.
“Yeah.. he’s still locking himself out.” Jeno answers.
Jaemin was his best friend first, and he knows Jaemin well. And for the first time, he knows Jaemin really do need time for himself. This isn’t something Jeno could fix, he knows when to step away. So he lets Jaemin be.
“Haechan?”
Jeno saw Haechan earlier but he’s not sure where he is now. That’s just how he is. He’s probably in one of the rooms upstairs, on his way to ‘pound town’ in Haechan’s terms.
In typical Jeno fashion, he tolerates some annoying congratulations for a bit, give fake smiles and forced handshakes before finding his way to escape the crowd. Although it’s difficult because again, this party is thrown for him and his team, he still finds a way.
And that way has a name. Yunjin.
“Ah, Jeno,”
At the back of the party, there's a huge backyard, large enough that if he’s with this girl fucking around at the very end of it, he’s sure no one will notice. His hands roam freely against the girl, letting her know his full intention. Not like she has no clue, the hands up her skirt gave her enough hints.
“Hmm,” Jeno hums, just to satisfy the girl’s pleas.
But before it gets further, a rustle of the grass made him stop his tracks.
Someone’s here.
“Wh–what happened,” Yunjin was confused as to why he suddenly stopped.
Jeno furrows his brows, and tries to look at whoever was on the back of the big oak tree.
“Sorry! Sorry– fuck, carry on, please!”
The familiar pitch of voice made Jeno move away from Yunjin. He knows who it is behind the tree. And he suddenly has no interest in going home with Yunjin.
You stumbled out of your hiding with a bottle of alcohol on your right hand, your left trying to pathetically cover your eyes as you tried to walk.
Jeno hates it. He fucking hates how drunk you are right now.
“Oh shit, Jeno!” You peek at the gap in your fingers that was covering your eyes, to see him looking at you with a mix of emotion you can’t make out. He’s not angry, but he’s definitely not amused.
“I–,” you burped, “I’m not here..” you followed with a laugh, finding all these hilarious.
“Don’t mind me!” you laugh again.
Jeno murmured a curse. “Yejin, I’m sorry but I need to go,” he says in finality, not even waiting for the girl to answer as he walks straight in your direction.
“It’s Yunjin! Ugh!” The last words he hears from the girl before she stomps away.
He shakes his head as tried grabbing your arm, to help you at least find a stable balance. He grabs the alcohol out of your grasp harshly.
“Hey, what the fuck!” You whined. You tried to chase the bottle, but with his hold on your arms, you failed to do so.
“Y/n, please, fucking stay still. You’re very drunk!” He says in a strict but stable voice, not wanting to rile you up even more.
“Give me it,” You whined again, much softer this time, and with no attempt at grabbing the bottle.
He looks at your struggling figure, eyes almost closing as you stumble against his hold.
“Ah, fuck it,” he curse one more time before propping you off your feet, carrying you in a bridal style.
“Hey, get me– Oh my gosh! Help!” You yell, but followed with a giggle, which made the people around you think that the situation is not something to be worried about. And they know you and Jeno, so him carrying you just makes sense.
He hates this version of you. He hates how this character you have is so far from what he knew you from. He hates that you find comfort in drinking, partying and sleeping with other men. He hates that whatever happened, it completely changed you. He hates that he cares.
“What the fuck are you staring at?” Jeno can’t help but to lash out at some people who gives him and you a judgemental look. He despises people who judge you.
He finds an empty room upstairs, and he puts you down gently. You dress is up to your waist now, so Jeno pulled it down. He opened his phone to text his brother to let him know you’re with him. He knows Jisung will be worried at your whereabouts. He also texted Chenle, to make sure that they know you’re safe.
He grabs a clean washcloth out the bathroom, and soaks it with cold water.
“I’m not… I am drunk.” You say, swaying your head left to right as you lay in the bed, trying to grab at whatever’s the softest around you.
He sat a foot away from you, but still reached his hands to your face to gently caress you with the soaked towel. This might help sober you up.
Speaking of being sober, Jeno entirely forgets that he’s also intoxicated. For some reason, he sobered up. Seeing you in this state made him think that he needed to straighten up and get you out of here.
“What the fuck are you doing to yourself, y/n..” he says under his breath, as he gently brushes the towel on your face. Seeing you deep in sleep now, he sighed.
You used to be so bubbly. You were sweet as honey, as bright as the sun. He still remembers how your eyes lit up every time you would talk to him. As he looks at you right now, it’s still the same features, the soft ones he grew to know, but he knows that once you wake up, you’d be a stranger again.
He sighed in defeat, and stood up. He was about to get water for you, before the door opened.
“Jeno,” It revealed Qian Kun, a man he heard is your boyfriend. Not sure about the boyfriend part, but he’s sure that he hangs out with you a lot these days.
Kun was his senior, basically the smartest man on this campus. Famous for his 5.0 GPA, this Kun guy really is a genius. He used to get notes from him, back when he was writing for his research paper. He had no idea how you two met, but it’s really not his business.
“She was in the backyard, drunk as fuck.” Jeno says, looking at your peaceful figure.
“Alright. I’ll take it from here,” Kun says, walking past him, around the bed to get to your side.
He can hear Kun murmur a pet name as he caresses your hair. Jeno felt the need to roll his eyes.
“Next time, keep an eye on her. If you can’t handle her, maybe you shouldn’t be with her at all.” Jeno didn’t care if he sounded harsh. He needs to let Kun know that you need to be taken care of properly.
“You don’t know her, Lee. So I suggest, keep your mouth shut and mind your own business.” Kun snapped back, standing up to look back at Jeno.
“Oh, I knew her long before you did. But I agree, she’s your business. I just hate to fucking deal with it because you can’t fucking seem to do it yourself.” With that, Jeno walks out the room.
And even if Jeno sounded secure, he can’t lie and say that leaving you with another man didn’t affect him, even just one bit.
୧ ‧₊˚ ☆
Looks from other people don't budge you at all.
They can stare at you, even whisper some bullshit about you, you really don’t give a shit. There’s nothing they can say that you’ve not said to yourself.
“You really should take it slow with the alcohol, y/n.” The first thing Jisung said as you sat down beside him. You rolled your eyes, and looked at him.
“Not you too,” You say rather exhaustedly.
“Especially me too. I’m your bestfriend and I’m just worried.” Jisung wasn’t the type to give out unsolicited advice, a serious one at that, therefore you sighed.
“It’s college, Jisung. We’re supposed to have fun.”
“Not to a point where other people have to take care of you.” That came out rather harsher than what Jisung had intended, but you really need it. You know it too. You just refuse to believe it.
“You don’t have to take care of me.”
“If not me, then who? You’ve been passed out drunk for the third time this week, y/n. I don’t know what definition of fun you have, but I think it’s not this.” Jisung was scarily serious now. You blink to try and process the seriousness of the situation.
You gulp, realizing that Jisung isn’t in the mood for your snarky comments right now. “Alright, damn. I’ll take it down a notch..” you say and look away from him.
You can’t blame Jisung for acting like this. You know that you’re spiraling down, you just refuse to accept it. In your head, this is just how college life goes. You get drunk, have sex and maybe a little bit of homework here and there. In your head, this is how it should be.
In a fucked up world, it is. But your world is already fucked up. So in a way, it just makes sense. To you.
“You have to get better,” Kun’s words rang in your head.
“This is the best I can, Kun. Chemistry isn’t really my thing,” you turn your homework down at Kun’s table. You were here after class, hoping to get help from Kun.
Despite popular belief, Kun isn’t your boyfriend. You’re too fucked up to commit into a relationship, no matter how good Kun is. Matter of fact, Kun is just the perfect man for that role. You can see yourself going straight with him, like your life might just take a turn for the better.
However, no matter how evil you see yourself as, you’re not that evil to give Kun the burden to have you as a girlfriend. You can’t do that to him.
And you did clarify that to him before sleeping with him. That whatever you have, just had to stay that way. He can’t expect something more. Surprisingly, he agreed. Qian Kun, the guy that has so much credentials because of his undeniable intelligence, the guy who rejected Harvard and Stanford, agreed to have a stupid set-up with a girl that’s one step away from actually losing it. Why?
You have absolutely no idea.
“I’m not talking about your homework, my love.” He says, sighing. You know that sigh very well.
You look at him, your eyes stoic as they can be. “We’re not having this conversation.”
Kun closed his eyes as he let out a deep breath. “You need to have this conversation. Lee Jeno had to carry you upstairs, in front of everyone last night. You were so drunk that you threw up all over yourself and you think that’s okay?”
Oh, so that’s what happened. He had to rescue you. Out of all people, of course it had to be him.
“Look, Kun, I didn’t come here to be judged. I was stupid for drinking that much, I know. But it’s not gonna happen again.” You say matter-of-factly. This is the second time this day that you had to promise to someone that you’ll be drinking responsibly. You feel like everyone is ganging up on you.
“Okay, sweetheart. Okay, calm down.” You didn’t know you were standing up until Kun pulled you from your wrist to sit back down.
Kun smiled at you and kissed your forehead, before sliding your homework back in front of you again and clicking his pen. “Let me see your answers…”
You’re glad he decided to drop the topic, but before you could even say thank you, an aggressive knock on Kun’s office got both of you to look up.
“Y/N! I know you’re in there! Qian, open your fucking door!”
You widen your eyes. “Fuck, it’s Yeonjun!” you say, standing up and grabbing your purse.
Kun looks at you, before looking back at the door. You can tell he had a very concerned face, but as soon as another man’s name fell out of your lips, he knew right away what situation you’re in. He pinched the bridge of his nose due to stress, and stood up.
“What is it this time?” He asks, not that he needed to.
“He’s just… Ugh, I told him we were over!” You say, feeling bad that this situation is happening in front of Kun. The knocks are turning more aggressive.
“Y/N, you slut!” Another loud bang from the door.
“I’ll deal with him.” Kun says. You immediately shake your head in disagreement.
“No! I’ll go. You don’t need to–”
“I’m not letting that man harass you, y/n—”
“No, Kun. I’m not letting you deal with my problems anymore.” Before Kun could even say anything, you opened up the door to see a very angry Yeonjun.
Kun rushed to your side, but you didn’t let him get in contact with Yeonjun and slammed the door shut.
“You’re gonna ghost me and you think that’s funny?” Yeonjun seemed to calm down, seeing you in front of him.
There’s quite a crowd that’s forming in the hallway, some have their phones out, some whispering whilst looking at you two. Not that you care.
“Let’s talk outside—”
“Yes, you’re coming with me after I punch that–” Before Yeonjun could even finish saying it, you looked him straight in the eyes, pointing at him.
“You’re not touching Kun,” you say, full of conviction. If there’s anything you could do for Kun, its that you will protect him from getting tangled with your mess.
You pulled his wrist to get him out of the building.
At the end of the day, there’s one thing that could shut these kinds of men up. It’s getting real easy, one thing you do for them and they’ll behave like a dog. It’s getting laughable, really.
So you shut them up. By doing what you do best.
୧ ‧₊˚ ☆
You were sixteen, when you got your heart broken for the first time.
“Stop looking at my brother, you weirdo.” Jisung threw a pillow towards your position on the couch.
The soft object hit you right in the noggin, earning a grunt as you pulled your eyes off of him.
“Bitch. It’s not my fault he’s getting hotter by the day. Damn,”
You were busy staring out the pool area, where Jeno and his friends are hanging out. You were at Jisung’s place, spending your summer in the most boring ways.
Good thing Jeno’s gorgeous self is here, entertaining you. He’s so pretty, you could just eat him up.
“No he’s not. He’s a nerd!” Jisung fights back, earning a smirk from you.
“Says the one who's summer plans are to play league of legends until he becomes a ‘Challenger’ .” You retort, cranking your neck back to where Jeno was.
You recognize his friends, of course. They’re starting to gain popularity in the school, especially when Jeno got on the basketball team.He’s been working out a lot, gaining extra muscles, toning his body to get even hotter. If that’s even possible.
“Eugh, Jisung, y/n’s drooling over Jeno-hyung again.” Chenle enters the conversation, with a soda in his hand and plops himself on the couch.
“I am not drooling!”
“I got something you can drool on.” Chenle’s awful snark earns a hefty punch on his shoulder from you, the boy laughing in a high-pitch tone that makes it even more annoying than it is.
“Anyways, I think he likes me too.” You sigh dreamily, remembering the things Jeno does to you specifically.
He always carries your bags for you. He’s always the first person to welcome you into their house, and the first person to ask if you’ve had breakfast yet. He offers you rides to school when he sees you walking, and he always asks how your day has been. He’s so charming, so nice and you just can’t help but give at least a little bit of malice into it.
I mean, there has to be something, right?
“Oh she’s crazy. She’s fucking insane!” Chenle dramatically gasps, and points at you like you’ve committed a crime.
“That is seriously concerning, y/n. The level of delusion– my god.” Jisung joins in, as he pauses his game to look back and judge you.
“You two are just haters. Get off my ass!” You flip them off, with two hands, each one gets a middle finger from you.
“Look, y/n, we’re just sparing you from getting your little heart broken. Jeno-hyung does not like you.” Chenle’s tone becomes more serious this time, but in your head, he’s wrong. If Jeno didn’t like you, then why would he get out his way just to walk you home whenever you leave their house way too late?
“Seriously. You guys, I really think he’s the one for me. I mean, I can’t really think of any other reason as to why he’s so kind to me, y’know?”
Jisung looked at Chenle as if he really cannot believe what he’s hearing from you. Chenle shakes his head left to right, disappointment spread all over his face.
A set of laughter broke your conversation as you three faced out the pool side, to see Jeno and his friends now actually playing in the pool. Jeno then went on the edge, the ones in front of the back door where you were looking from, and pulled himself out of the water.
The trinkets of water dripping in his hair was one thing, but his wet body being revealed in front of you, the perfect curve of his shoulders down to his small waist, and the veins in his arms definitely woke something up in you.
“Yeah… I’ll confess to him tonight.” your voice almost sounded strange, like you were in a hypnotic state, still mesmerized by Jeno.
“Jesus christ, y/n–” before Jisung finishes, Chenle interrupts.
“Dude, let her. This is her canon event.”
You had no idea what that means, and you’re not interested to know. One thing’s in your mind, Jeno will be yours by midnight.
9:56pm
It’s like the heavens planned it all out for you.
Jeno’s friends all left, as to your surprise, because you thought they’d at least spend the night. Jeno had always offered to let his friends stay, but this time, he asked them to leave before 6. Which is odd, yes, but this all favors you in a way.
Chenle and Jisung still visibly opposed to your idea, and you’re sure they had reason to think its not gonna work out, but it’s not like it matters to you.
Whilst the three of you are in Jisung’s room, you can hear the TV on the lounge area. Their parents are out of town this summer, something about a cruise, so that means, it has to be Jeno.
In your mind, it’s the perfect timing. It’s deep in the evening, the moon’s out, and there’s never been an opportunity where you’re brave enough to actually confess.
Your heartbeat notches another tempo, as you leave Jisung’s room, much to the two’s dismay.
Before you could get to the lounge area, you’d have to pass the kitchen first.
A couple more steps, your feet turning cold, but you still managed. But before you can get a glimpse on the couch, your name was called.
“Y/n?” It’s him. Fuck, it’s him!
Okay, so he’s in the kitchen. That’s fine. Take a deep breath, You just gotta talk to him!
“Jeno,”
You took a step closer to where he was, and he’s looking extra delectable with his white shirt and grey sweatpants. Not that there’s been a moment where he didn’t look good.
“Are you going home? Ask Jisung to walk you home, I kinda—“
“Jeno, I want to talk to you, actually.” Now your voice trembles, and you’re starting to feel nervous.
“Oh, okay. Sure, what’s up?” Jeno looks to be still oblivious to your anxious state. He puts down the wine that he was holding, and turned to you completely.
You gulped, finally looking up to his eyes. He had a shadow of smile on them, but was still curious on what you had to say. You're mere two feet away from him, yet his musky scent still invades your nose.
God, all of that can be yours.
“But you’d have to say it fast because I have—”
“I like you. Very much.”
The deafening silence engulfs you, and only the sound of your heartbeat was prominent. Him, on the other hand, eyes wide, mouth ajar.
“—and I know this is so sudden but I’ve liked you ever since we were kids. I’ve always thought you were cute and nice to me!” You tried to fill in the silence, because every second that passed with him not saying anything kills you.
Another second passed, and your nervousness is long gone, because it was replaced by an impending doom.
“Y/n, look, I really appreciate it but… I-I’m just being nice.. I have to be nice. You’re my brother’s best friend—”
Fuck, shit, fuck! This cannot be happening!
“Oh, my, god!”
A high pitched voice behind you tores the tension in the air, and when you looked back, you saw Eunmi, with an amused look in her face, then covering her mouth with her hands.
She let out a laugh, as if he finds all of this ridiculous.
All of a sudden, you can’t breathe. Your heart was about to explode as you looked back at where Jeno was, seeing two wine glasses behind him. The movie in the background, still playing.
And it all just stops.
“That’s so cute!” Eunmi screeched, before walking towards Jeno and snaking her arms around him.
“Babe, I was wondering why it’s taking so long, you didn’t tell me this girl is pouring her heart out to you! Awe,”
You can feel your eyes warming up. You had so much left to say. But your voice can’t be found. The heart ache was too loud for you to even utter a word.
And in the end, all you could say was, “I’ll.. go home.”
Then you were gone, every step with every tear drop, and although you expected it to hurt, it still surprises you how painful it was.
You’re glad he didn’t run after you. You can’t be more pathetic than this, but it would kill you for him to witness your vulnerability.
Jeno was your first love.
And then Jeno became your first heartbreak.
With all the smiles he brought you, you never thought he could cause you so many tears.
୧ ‧₊˚ ☆
Is it wrong to be this young and this tired?
You look at yourself in the mirror, analyzing every inch of your body. On the contrary, you don’t hate what you see. You’ve worked so hard to attain the body that you have now, and you’re satisfied where you’re at.
But there’s an empty feeling in your stomach that never left, and you can’t seem to figure out what it is. It’s always been there.
“Get back to bed,” You hear a disgruntled sound from the bed, and immediately your smile fades. You’re pulled back to reality, one that you hated to be in.
“I’m going home,” you say, before grabbing your clothes and putting them back on.
You don’t know why you do this, but you wait before walking out the door, for a sliver of a second to see if the man on the bed even attempts to ask you to stay. And just what you expected, he didn’t.
Sometimes you wish you’re worthy of being asked to stay, but who were you kidding.
There’s a deep routed scar that you’ve been trying so hard to cover. You like to think that the antidote that you have for it works, but the way you’ve been stuck in the same situation all over again says otherwise.
You thought you were healing, but the truth is, you just stopped feeling.
All your life is ahead of you, they say. But yours feels far behind.
You don’t really know where you went wrong, you thought if you became pretty, everybody would like you. You thought that if you agreed to sleep with them, they’d appreciate you. You thought that if you change your entire personality, they would start to see you.
Where did you go wrong? You dyed your hair blonde, you worked your body to achieve the hourglass figure and you even went ahead and let every man that looks your way to have you. Isn’t that enough?
See, this is why you hate being sober. You hate being alone with your thoughts, because it drowns you. You start thinking of things that overwhelms you to the point of tears, and you hate crying. You’ve already done too much of that before.
So why does everybody hate you for drinking? If that’s the only escape you know? It isn’t fair.
“I’m losing my mind,” you say, biting your nails and jerking your knees in frustration.
“Jesus, you’re like a crack addict without crack for a day.” Chenle says as he looks at you.
“She hasn’t had alcohol in a week,” Jisung says as if he’s proud, smiling at you.
You roll your eyes. You’ve been trying to stray off alcohol ever since Jisung and Kun asked you to. You ought to at least try, because you owe them that. On the latter part, if it didn’t work, and you spiral out, you can at least say that you tried.
“Ah, fuck it.” You say, but before Jisung freaks, you clarify, “I’m just gonna smoke for a bit, grandpa.” You say and dashed out of his dorm, down to the parking lot.
It’s winter, and the snow has already covered the streets. The cold was always your favorite season, it gives you reason to just stay inside and cuddle up in your cozy room.
You open up a new packet of cigarettes as you stand outside basking in winter air. It’s especially windy today, you thought.
The heat of the smoke traveling through your lungs was refreshing. It rivals the coldness of the wind, creating a balance that hits you just right. A perfect combination of sensation to combat the numbness in you.
Before the light hits the filter of the cigarette, you hear a screeching sound to your left.
It was a car, no, it was his car.
You mentally curse, throwing the unfinished stick to your feet and stomping on it. You frantically try to walk back up the building, but as you hear the car door slamming, you take a deep breath.
“Smoking’s really bad for you,” Jeno says, walking towards your direction.
“You basically run off of weed and gatorade, Jeno.”
Although you did try your best to keep walking, Jeno catched up in a couple of steps. You stood together waiting for the elevator.
“Is Chenle upstairs, too?” He starts.
“Yeah. Congrats on the game, Jeno. Sorry I had to ruin your night,” you followed it with a slight laugh, hoping to lighten the mood.
“Nah, it’s fine. Didn’t wanna stay in that party anyways,”
The elevator finally dings open, you hesitate to move at first, but when Jeno enters the lift and looks at you, you take this as a sign to walk in with him. So walk in you did.
“Kun took care of you, right?” He asks. You badly wanted to look at him, but you chose not to.
“Yeah.. he’s a great guy.” You silently say, not feeling good about the conversation.
“Hm,” he paused. The suspicious tone made you look at him, anticipating what comes out of his mouth next.
“I saw you walking out of Yeojun's dorm last night tho.” He says as if it was nothing, as if it was a little detail he had to tell you. But the underlying idea behind his statement was obvious.
You hitched your breath. No, y/n. Fight back.
“What can I say, I’m booked and busy.”
“You’re— that’s not something to be proud of, y/n.” He states as if he’s running out of patience, now looking back at you.
You smirked wider, “Oh don’t be a hypocrite, Jeno. You do the same damn thing,”
He grunts in frustration. “Yes but you’re different, y/n!”
8… 9….
“Different in what way? Because I’m a woman? And this isn’t what women do? Don’t give me that bullshit,”
“Fuck that, you know that’s not what I meant. I’m just protecting you from what people think about you.”
10… 11… 12…
“Jeno, I want you to listen to me carefully.” You took another step closer to him, looking up to level your face with his. “—whatever you heard about me, I want you to times it by a million, and when you think it’s bad, make it worse.” You whispered.
You tilt your head to hover your lips on his ear, “And guess what, who knows, maybe they’re telling the truth.”
And as soon as the elevator hits the 15th floor, you walk out without looking back.
୧ ‧₊˚ ☆
You were a lost cause.
Jeno thought he just needed to accept the fact that you’re just never gonna be the same.
He doesn’t know why it bothered him so much, the fact that you’re not letting anyone help you. It never bothered him before, and so, it shouldn’t bother him now.
It’s not his fault that you turned out to be this way. It’s not his fault.
So he distracts himself. Both in ways of basketball and women.
He tried to go back to his old ways, back to where he’s safe. He was doing fine, before you plagued his system. Plus, it’s not like he didn’t try, he damn did try.
Maybe this version of you is the real you. Maybe this is what’s meant to be.
“Holy fuck,” Haechan eyes the woman who walks out of Jeno’s room, obviously checking her out. Jeno just rolled his eyes and spread his arms around the back of the couch. Dragging a long hit of the weed he seemed to never get run out of.
“That’s the third girl this week, Jeno. Are you trying to break my record?” Haechan scoffed, as if proud of his friend.
“I’m not trying to break anything, but if you want, I’d gladly break your nose.”
Haechan put both his hands up, taking a step back because out of all of them, Jeno’s the one who could really do it. And he’s not trying to risk his beautiful face.
“Dude, this is bad.” Renjun was the second one to comment, following Haechan. He looked at Jeno’s state, and he can tell something’s not right. There’s something bothering Jeno, and Renjun can’t exactly tell what.
He had an idea, but he’s sure as hell won’t tell it to Jeno’s face.
“What? I have two weeks before the game. I need to relax.” Jeno says, ignoring the concern in Renjun’s face.
“And this is relaxing to you?” Renjun grabs an empty bottle of beer, one of the many that’s scattered all over the place.
Jeno didn’t answer, letting a sigh out of his lips and closing his eyes. He can’t think straight right now, or in the past week. He had been sleeping with different girls, to the point where he ran out of bed sheets to use. His room stinks of sweat and axe body spray, and he can’t seem to be satisfied, at all.
“I don’t know, Junnie. Just… leave me alone.” At this moment, Renjun can’t help but sigh. It's these kinds of moments where he knows that Jeno needs someone. Where the one month gap in their age really shines and Jeno needs his older brother, Renjun.
He puts down the plastic bag of trash and sat beside Jeno. “Look, Jeno. I’m not gonna sit here and ask you what this is about, but this is starting to look really sad. Jaemin is already down, and I don’t need you broken too. I can’t handle Haechan by myself,” Renjun, in an attempt to lighten up the mood.
“Junnie, just let me be, okay? I swear.. this will pass.”
“I sure hope it would. Because you can’t fix someone if you’re broken yourself. That’s just plain dumb.”
He grunts, and cursed deeply because he know’s Renjun’s right. But how can he, when it feels like he’s stuck? When has everything, but he feels like he’s got nothing? He has a great future ahead of him, he knows that, but why does it feel like something’s missing?
Girls, money, fame. What more could he want?
In a split second, Jeno regrets asking himself that question. Because he feel like he knows the answer, but he really doesn’t like it.
୧ ‧₊˚ ☆
“Lee Jeno, what the fuck was that?!”
Yangyang pushed Jeno, but instead of fighting back, Jeno just shook his head. He raked his fingers across his hair as he sat at the bleachers.
Thank fuck this isn’t the actual university game. Because if it was, they’d for sure lose the first quarter and Jeno will have his first ever loss written on his otherwise squeaky clean reputation.
“Don’t fucking yell at my face.” Jeno’s voice thundered.
“Five hundred dollars are at stake, and Minho would not let us live if you lose against him, Jeno.” Yangyang’s voice was a lot more controlled, but still angry, nonetheless.
“Man, I don’t really care.” Jeno let out an unenthusiastic chuckle, drinking out of his tumbler.
“What?” Yangyang feels like he’s mistaken. Lee Jeno doesn’t care if he loses? In a basketball game, that is? Oh he truly thinks the world has turned upside down.
Before he could even ask his friend again, Minho starts shouting from the other side of the court.
“What, Lee Jeno? The magic doesn’t work now, doesn’t it?” Minho yells, earning a laugh from his teammates.
“Fuck you! Games not over, bitch!” Yangyang yells back, full of confidence but looked back at Jeno, worry splattered in his face.
“Dude, I swear, we need to put that son of a bitch back in his place!” Yangyang angrily whispers.
“I’m gonna sit this one out, Yang–”
“How about we bet on that y/n girl?! Your brother’s friend, right? Heard she spreads it open to just about anyone who looks at her funny!”
Without even thinking, Jeno’s fast on his feet, and his vision turns red. His fist curled up and his logical thinking was out of the window. His vision is straight at Minho, and his only thought is to knock this bitch out.
Yangyang couldn’t even process anything, as he watches Jeno’s eyes darkens and before any of his teammates could even try and stop Jeno, his fist already connects with Minho’s face. The boy fell down, immediately knocked out, and chaos between both teams ensues. But Jeno didn’t stop.
He’s not letting Minho get up.
“Jeno, slow the fuck down.” He heard a concerned voice at the corner of the nearby club he went to. His feet dragged him here after the incident, wanting to drown himself with anything that could take away his mind from everything.
One shot, two shots, three shots, four.
“I’m paying you, Doyoung, aren’t I?” Jeno says, rolling his eyes at the older man in front of him.
Doyoung was another person Jeno trusts. Besides the three idiots back in his apartment, Doyoung is also the one Jeno’s comfortable with.
“Yes, but I don’t want to report an alcohol poisoning inside my bar, Jeno.” Doyoung can tell Jeno’s done for the night. Slumped over his counter, he forces the shot glass out of Jeno’s hold.
He signals one of his co-bartenders to take over the bar for a bit, before dragging Jeno’s body out of the bar. He notices the bruising at the boy’s hand but he didn’t say anything and drove Jeno home.
“I don’t want to go back to my apartment, Haechan’s there with a girl,” Jeno mumbled, slowly getting more and more sober as the fresh air wakes him up.
“Where’d you want me to bring you then?” Doyoung asked.
“I don’t know… fuck.. just, bring me back to my brother’s.”
Thankfully, Doyoung knew Jisung’s apartment. He’s close with both of the brothers, often being mistaken as a brother as well. But after graduating, he just naturally went off and did other things.
Doyoung huffs as soon as he successfully brought Jeno in front of Jisung’s apartment, however, another problem was that Jisung isn’t answering the phone.
“Jeno, I really can’t stay here with you, I just sneaked out of my shift,” he explains, but Jeno just dismissed him and nods. Doyoung knocks at the door before he left, making sure that if there was a person inside, they’d open the door for Jeno.
Jeno wasn’t as drunk as earlier, that’s for sure. What’s left is the pounding headache plus the fact that no one’s opening the door for him.
Out of sheer frustration, he kicks the door, strong enough to make a banging sound but not hard enough to damage it.
“Fucking Jisung,” he murmured to himself, almost turning his heels to walk out, but before he could, rattling on the other side of the door can be heard.
Jeno sighs in relief, but seconds after it opened, what greets him almost knocks the breath out of his lungs.
“Shit, Jeno.” Your soft voice matched your soft expression as you look at him with obvious shock.
Jeno, on the other hand, didn’t want to extend the painful awkward silence.
“I-Is my brother there?” Stuttering was never Jeno’s thing. Until this moment, he thinks.
“He’s… he’s like, I think at a girls place somewhere… fuck, I think her name’s Jieun or some shit..” Your eyes take turns in blinking, but still standing straight— conflicting the idea that you’re drunk. Well, at least not y/n drunk.
“Then why are you here?” He didn’t know why, but his hands automatically grabs the door knob to swing the door more open to see if you’re inside with somebody.
He just needs to know you’re alone.
“I crash here sometimes… when I’m locked out of my apartment.” You shoulders where slumped, words were coming out slow. Jeno can tell you’re not sober.
He can’t say shit because he’s not in an exactly sober state as well. So he just proceeds to walk past you to enter the dorm.
Technically, Jisung’s place is his place too. Their parents fixed it up for the two of them but Jeno chose to stay over at his shared apartment with the other boys. So he can do whatever he wants to do.
The entire place reeks of weed, and the floor has two empty bottles of Soju. He almost threw up, he hates Soju.
“Jesus fucking christ, Jisung.” He murmured as he picks up the trash, forgetting that you were standing behind him baffled.
“I’m sorry about that…” Of course it’s yours. Of course you’ve been drinking again. Fuck him for thinking that it’s his brother’s fault. Because it’s would always be you.
Jeno stays quiet. He’s not in the best mood to even look at you. Everything that’s been happening to him recently is because of you. He hates that he blames you, but he can’t just think of someone else.
“Jeno...” Your soft voice calls for him again. It took everything from him to ignore you, and walk back to the kitchen and throw all the trash away.
He’s hanging by a thread, and he starts to realize it’s a bad idea to stay here for long.
He takes a deep breath and walks towards the door, but before that, he felt a tight grip in his arms.
“Jeno.. talk to me.” The sultry voice you had did not go unnoticed, and Jeno couldn’t help but stop his tracks.
Don’t break, Jeno.
“Jeno.. please look at me.”
He forces your grip out of his arms. It kills him, so much to hear you like this.
“I’m leaving,” He managed to say, however, his feet says otherwise. He’s standing still, not even another step out the door.
“You’re not, please. Just… just look at me.” Jeno heaves, his hands turning into fists as he tries and compose himself.
Just this once.
He turns his heel and immediately surrendered. The moment he let his eyes on you, he already lost the game.
“Why don’t you want me?”
He gulps. He bit his lip to stop himself from saying anything, because he doesn’t trust that he’s not going to say something he’s not ready to say.
“You’ve had so many girls.. Jeno, why not me? I’m…” You paused, you look left to right as if you’re finding words to say. “..I’m better than all of them.”
“Y/n—“
“No! Fuck it, Jeno! There’s no fucking reason why you won’t fuck me! It doesn’t make any fucking sense!” Jeno hears ringing in his head, the string of patience threatening to snap.
“Why? Explain to me fucking why you would fuck all those bitches and not me? I swear.. Jeno, I’m good— fuck that, I’m the best—”
“I’m so—”
“Ask half of your team.”
In that note, the last thread he was hanging on to snapped. You want him? Fine. Take it.
He grips your arms and drags you inside of the room, and in his peripheral view, he can see your demeanor changes. Now, your eyes are mischievous, and your lips turning into a smirk.
“You want to fucking play that game? Fine, I’ll fucking play with you.” Jeno almost growls, letting you sit on the bed as he slams the door shut.
“Strip.” He orders, in the most dominant voice he has.
You bit your lip as you look up at him. Slowly discarding your clothes one by one, but not breaking eye contact with him.
His eyes were dark. So dark that you can’t tell anything that’s on his mind. His jaw tightens at the sight of you almost stripped off of your dress.
“I’ve been so fucking patient with you,”
The dim lights shone at his back, as he craned his body down, standing before you. Nearing his face unto yours, the mirror on the side of the bed depicted something out of a dark fairytale, a silhouette of a beast trying to tempt an angel.
But in reality, the angel had already fallen. Deep and hard. The beast didn't even have to do anything.
"Tell me you want me," he says.
"I do, Jeno. I really want you," And as of this moment, you lost the battle you've fought for all these years.
"All this time, huh? You're still lusting over your best friend's brother?" Now, his tone was slightly teasing. His once gentle hands on your cheeks turned possessive, his grip getting tighter.
"Dirty, dirty, dirty little girl. Bet when you fuck those boys, you think of me, don't you?" His thumb on your lower lip, parting it softly.
"This is your chance, y/n. Tonight, I'm yours. Just tell me the words," his whispers turned deadly, as his own lips are almost touching yours.
"J-jeno.."
"Pretty, pretty, pretty..." His words spit like venom. Every movement of his lips gave you a tease, your entire body burning with desire.
Your mind was under his control, and you completely and utterly surrendered to him. He's not yours— you're his.
"—Please," you finally choked out, and like a green light, Jeno kissed you with hunger, pushing his entire body weight onto you forcing you to lay down on the bed.
“I thought you won’t beg anymore?” The cockiness in his voice would usually prompt a reaction from you but you don’t care anymore.
This time, his hips close the distance between your bodies, maneuvering his knees to position between your legs. Careful not to crush you, he kept balance of his weight as he pushed his hip further, creating a slight friction between your clothed core.
After what it seemed like forever, his lips traveled down your neck, and almost immediately you can feel that he's gonna leave a mark. You'll definitely leave with a painted neck.
His hands expertly went under your dress, grabbing your breast, squeezing them ever so slightly. It doesn't take a full minute when his hands went around your back and unclasped your bra like it was nothing. All while he was focused on kissing every part of your skin.
Of course he's good at this.
Just then, he pulled away but only to pull your dress up and completely undress you. He took his time looking at your exposed body.
"You're so fuckin' perfect," he mumbled more so to himself as he admired you. He leaned in again but this time his mouth landed on one of your breasts, sucking them deftly.
"Shit, Jeno," you can't help but moan his name, grab the back of his head to level yourself. You pulled his hair, and you didn't know if he likes it, but with the way he groaned gave you a hint that he does.
As he keeps himself busy, his hands go down to your clothed core. Goosebumps ran down your body as his middle finger traced your slit, already feeling the wetness you've desperately hid before.
"So fuckin' wet, and all for me. Am I right, baby?" He whispered, you answered with a whiny 'yes' that it almost sounded like a stranger.
"Lemme' take this off," he quickly pulled down your panties, only to be welcomed by your soaking wet core. Jeno was ravenous, like he's been starved all his life.
The room was dark, only a dim lamp providing some light, but the wetness in your pussy glistens and reflects, that Jeno swore he's never seen something so beautiful. You're beautiful, and he's gonna make you feel just exactly that.
You can hear his belt buckle, him swiftly taking all his clothes off.
"God, I can never get used to how fucking pretty you are, my pretty little baby," he mumbled again, to himself.
"Who was the last guy you fucked, baby?" Jeno asked, catching you off guard. He was pumping himself as he looks at you, and you never thought he would ask such question.
"Wha-- why? I don't kn- probably—" Your speech cut off when you looked down at his moving arms, to see all of him.
You've heard rumors. You knew he was packing. But good God, he's so fucking big. Almost knocking the breath out of your lungs. You're starting to get worried if it would fit.
"Doesn't even matter.. everyone else doesn't count. Just me.”
He then pressed his finger down in your core, finding the clit right away. Rapidly circling his finger, and a wave of pleasure started to form. "Oh fuck--," you moaned.
He dove down to kiss you, this time passionately. Much softer than before. Only for you to feel his finger entering you that you went crazy. Not long before he added another,pumping it swiftly in and out. He moved away from your face to watch your expression. And he fucking loved it.
"Fuck, I'm gonna cum-" you whispered.
"Go on, baby." Jeno, encouraging you even more, fingers going faster.
"Shit.. oh my go-" and then it hit you, your first orgasm of the night. Jeno's face was all you can see, and his fingers was all you can feel. Your brows furrowed, mouth agape, you felt like you can't control your body. Jeno's lips was also parted, as if he gains pleasure from watching you reach your climax.
"Good girl," he groaned.
"Need more, Jen. Please," begging was never on your vocabulary, until now.
"Shh, no need to beg, baby. I'm more than willing to give you all," his sweet words acted as an aphrodisiac, igniting the fire in you. As if you needed him to be even more sexier.
Because it was dark in the room, your sense of touch is heightened. Every touch lingered, and its as if you were touch deprived your entire life. Jeno brings out your true colors, and you're not mad about it.
"Make you feel good," he whispered more praises, and you can hear him pump himself as he aligned his length onto your aching core.
"Oh my god," you can't help but gasp, the stretch overwhelming you. You've never taken someone this big before, and it fucking felt like its your first time. Not in a painful way, but because you've felt a whole new sensation.
"S' wet, baby, fuck, you're choking me," in a low groan, Jeno slowly bottomed out. He sits fully inside you, and you can feel every single inch, every single vein. It felt so raw, and so right.
"Hmm, fuck, fuck you feel.. fucking hell. S' good." You never expected Jeno to be this vocal, and you weren't complaining. You always thought he didn't like being vocal, but damn, were you so wrong.
"Jeno.." you moaned, and you can already feel your impending orgasm. Its just that good.
Before Jeno could even find a pace with his thrust,, he pulled out. Your eyes opened in confusion, from the abrupt emptiness.
"Fuck this," Jeno was fast on his feet, you wondered where he was going, but before your mind settles on a conclusion, you were blinded by bright lights.
"Need to see you properly," he reasoned, before he went back to the position he was before.
With the lights on, you can now see his perfectly lean body, toned abs and the sweat beading on his sideburns. He looked so hot that you could cum right there and then.
"So fucking beautiful," Jeno never failed to compliment you, as he stares at you before sliding it in again. For the second time you gasp, but because he slid it in so swift that you didn't even get a second to breathe before he pounds.
"Oh, fuck, Jeno!" you squealed, your entire body rocking back and forth with how rough he was.
His hands grabbed your left leg and hooked it in his shoulder, all the while he kept the fast pace of his thrusts. You can see his face twist, him biting his lips and looking up. His expert thrusts made his abs flex everytime. The sight was stunning, and for a second there you were lost. You can't believe other girls had seen this before you.
The orgasm you fought so hard was out of your control now, and you knew you weren't gonna last.
"Jeno, I'm gonna cum," you tell him, and he switched his position in no time. "Together. Cum with me," he muttered.
"Come inside, Jeno. I need it so bad," you were slurring words at this point, so barbaric with the feeling.
He unhooked your leg and leaned forward. Your body now pressed together as he wrapped your legs onto his waist, his hands finding your neck, holding it steady as he touched his forehead with yours. His piercing eyes were hyper focused on yours.
"Eyes on me, baby. Fuck, please," he moaned, his tempo going even more rapid and desperate. Both of your mouths was wide open at this point.
"Fuck! Fuck, fuck!" he stilled, as you both reached climax. He emptied himself inside you. You can't help but moan in a high pitch as orgasm washes over your entire body, an intense wave brought you to euphoria, and you never wanna leave.
"Damn," he whispered, almost in disbelief on how it felt to be with you. Still giving you everything he had, every single drop.
"Jeno," you called out once you relaxed, hoping to get him back to his senses.
"Wait- just.. shit." he managed to mutter despite his weak state. He's still wrapped around you, tight as if you were disappearing. Not to mention he's still balls deep.
A solid minute has passed when he decided to pull out, both of you hissing at the feeling. You felt so empty, and he felt so bare.
And when Jeno closes his eyes, he accepts defeat. You’ve successfully broken him.
୧ ‧₊˚ ☆
Sooyoung, Minnie, Hoyeon, Yoonah.
So far, those are the names that you gathered.
It doesn’t take a long time to figure out what Jeno likes, based on the girls he’s been with. They’re all hot, popular with the boys, and if not the same age as him, they’re older.
The other common denominator is that they all have experience. When Jeno started sleeping around, you would only see him with women who’s expected to be with him. Like those women who knows how pretty they are, who’s aware how to handle a man like Jeno.
So when you finally turn eighteen, you did not waste time.
“Do you think I look hot in this, Ji?” You ask innocently, looking at your best friend through the mirror you’re standing in front of.
He barely looks up from his nintendo switch, and when you make eye contact, the look of disgust on his face makes you roll your eyes.
“Your freakin’ ass is hanging off that skirt. You look like a…” Jisung turns his head towards Chenle on the other side of the room, playing on his playstation.
“…hooker.” Chenle finished the sentence for him. You hide a smirk.
“I’ll take that as a compliment, thank you!” You did a curtsy, before grabbing your purse.
“Wait, where are you going?” Chenle asked as soon as he paused the game to see you walk towards the door.
“NCU is throwing this party for the new basketball team, got an invite from Jungwoo.” You gave Chenle a wink, knowing it would annoy the heck out of him.
“What?! Why do I not know about this?!” You flinched when Chenle says the first word in the highest octave possible.
“Probably because we’re not in NCU’s college department yet? The party’s exclusive for college students, dumbass.” Jisung says boredly, bringing his attention back to his nintendo.
“Except I got an invite, you losers didn’t!” And just for extra annoyance, you stick your tongue out to mock them.
Chenle only huffs, but takes his phone out of his pocket.
“Invited or not, I’m going. I’m sure your broke ass would take up a free ride to the party,” He says as he waits for someone on his phone.
“And how do you plan to enter the party, dimwit? You don’t have an invite,” Jisung asks.
“I’m Zhong fucking Chenle. That’s my invite.” He smirks, grabs his keys and your wrist. You flew a kiss towards Jisung and left his apartment.
Booming music, strobe lights. The bass vibrates through the wall and honestly, this is way too extreme from what you expected. This is the first real party you had attended, where you’re specifically invited.
Jungwoo was someone you knew, from one of your girlfriends. He’s three years ahead of you, making him a year older than Jeno. And to be frank, Jungwoo didn’t peak your interest at first. But when you knew that he’s in Jeno’s friend circle, you figured that maybe, you do like Jungwoo.
“Hey,” Someone from behind you whispers on your ear, making you whip your head. You saw Jungwoo, head hangs low just to whisper. He displays a playful smile as he hugs you.
But before you could even tighten his embrace, Chenle took a protective stance, putting his arms in between. “Woah dude, chill out.”
Jungwoo chuckled, putting his hands up. “Zhong, calm down,”
You immediately give Chenle a look of confirmation, “I’m good, Le.”
“Just making sure.” He says and steps back. He patted Jungwoo’s shoulder in a sense that he’s good. Chenle has always been protective, in literal terms. Jisung however, is protective in a motherly kind of way. In short, Chenle’s fights, Jisung nags.
“Why don’t you talk to Jaehyun? Heard he’s interested in taking you in the team.” Jungwoo says making Chenle widen his eyes, a breathless ‘really?’ coming out of his lips and Jungwoo nods. You pushed Chenle to go find the Jaehyun guy and before you know it, you’re alone with Jungwoo.
“He’s really into basketball, huh?” Jungwoo, sounding amused.
You on the other hand, start roaming your eyes around the room. You’re here for someone, and you need to know if they’re in this party, or else this would be a huge waste of time if he’s not here.
“Yeah, he basically worships Stephen Curry.” You looks at him, to at least try to entertain the boy.
“Mm-hm.” The way his hands crawl into your waist so naturally was a shock to you, but you don’t say anything at all. He starts walking and with his hands attached on your body, you can’t help but walk with him.
“So.. where’s the team?” You really did try to prolong the moment you’re with Jungwoo, but you just can’t stay still without confirming if he’s here.
“They’re upstairs. Some of my teammates doesn’t really like hanging out with too many people.”
“How about you?”
“I was waiting for you, pretty.” Jungwoo flashes a smile, someone could argue his most defining feature but then again, you have your sights on someone else.
True to his words, Jungwoo brought you upstairs, where it’s more intimate with a few people. There’s a lounge area in front of a bar and that's where you spot the certain someone you’ve been looking for.
And as expected, he has a girl with him.
“Hey, guys, uh– this is y/n.” Jungwoo awkwardly introduces you to everyone, including Jeno who at first was shocked at your presence, but soon enough replaced with a certain tension in his eyes.
You did a small wave, still shy at the amount of eyes on you. These people are legends on campus. They’re basically the school’s pride and seeing them acknowledging you was amusing. And Jeno, like the perfect man that he is, just fits right in.
“Hi, I’m Juyeon,” He extends his hands, so you, a person who doesn’t like leaving people hanging, gladly accepts it.
And everyone else follows suit, except Jeno. He was looking at something else, not even the girl he’s with. He’s fixated at his beer can, looking at it very seriously.
“Jeno?” Jungwoo asks, questioning why the boy didn’t acknowledge you.
He looked at Jungwoo, and he was about to answer but you did it for him.
“We know each other. I’m friends with his brother.” You smile at Jungwoo, and he seemed to understand it so he just lead you to the empty spot on the lounge.
They started talking, but your attention was on Jeno. You realized that this is his crowd, quickly you found that he’s very different in front of other people. He’s more talkative, that’s for sure.
But your eyes also catch the soft touches he graces the girl beside him. The whispers he gave, the smiles and subtle kisses on the side of her head. His arms around her and the jokes he tells just for the two of them.
It has been years since he rejected you, yet the pain still stings.
You took your eyes somewhere else, made easy as Jungwoo starts to caress your shoulder. He leaned below, matching your face. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” you smiled at him. You weren’t, but you’re obviously not gonna tell that.
He hands you a shot of what you assume alcohol, with his eyes anticipating your next move. This is the first time you’re drinking without Chenle or Jisung around, and you’re unsure if this was okay.
But with everybody starting to look at Jungwoo’s waiting hand, the shot clearly for you, you start to panic. There’s no way you’re gonna embarrass yourself in front of these seniors.
So you suck it up and took the shot. You’re not sure, but you got a glance from Jeno that tells he’s not happy with your action.
The taste of the alcohol was strong, but somehow your throat didn’t burn. Yes, you definitely felt it heat up your taste buds but not bad enough for you to hate it. It’s like a sensation that hypes up your system.
And so, with your new found information, you were more confident in taking shots now. And exactly that you do.
But with the amount of liquid going in, it has to come out. So you excused yourself to the bathroom to pee. You assured Jungwoo you were okay, because heck yeah, you’re fine.
Not until you actually stood up. Good thing you didn’t stumble, but shit, your world is spinning.
You bee line straight to the bathroom and relieve yourself. It took a couple minutes before you finished washing your hands, and as you walk out of the restroom, you were met by a figure clearly waiting for you to finish up.
“J-Jeno,” you muttered, moreso in surprise.
“Y/n what the hell are you doing here?” He whispers, angrily of course.
“Jungwoo invited me!” You whisper back, leaning on the door behind you to balance yourself.
“Where’s my brother? Chenle?” He looms over you, and all you can think about is his luscious lips, mere inches to yours.
“They.. Chenle came with me, Ji stayed home..” You answer, despite being in a trance. The entire place is spinning, but not Jeno’s face. It’s there, in front of you.
“I need you to find Chenle and go home.” He says in finality, expecting you to follow. You knit your brows, as you take in offense over what he’s doing.
“What? I’m invited here!” You whined.
“Find Chenle. Now.” The growl in his last words made you slightly intimidated, not to mention his eyes burning holes into your own.
God, he’s so handsome.
You don’t know if its the vodka, or just plain recklessness that gave you the idea of just tipping on your toes and try kissing Jeno.
It made perfect sense in your head. Your hands cupping his cheeks obviously caught him off guard, but before your lips touch his, his reflex of pushing you off was unfortunately faster.
He shoved you harsh, causing you to stumble and almost losing your balance.
“What the fuck?!” He yells.
Your heartbeat went quicker. Everything started to process. Jeno looks so mad, he huffs and wiping his palm against the part of his face that your lips had touched.
“I-I’m s-sorr—”
“I have a fucking girlfriend, y/n!” He spits, words felt like daggers through your chest.
“Jeno, I’m sorry. I was out of—” Your eyes start to burn.
“Are you that desperate? I rejected you already, didn’t I? I will never look at you different than being my brother’s best friend, y/n! So stop this fucking delusion while I’m being nice.” Jeno points his fingers at you, making you flinch a little bit.
“Jeno, please.” Your tears are now slowly flowing. You attempted to grab his wrist to make him stay and listen to your apologies but he swiped it off like he’s disgusted to be touched by you.
“No, y/n. You’re like a sister to me. It disgusts me to even think of being with you romantically. So please, know your fucking place.”
With that, he walks out and leaves you broken.
You don’t understand. You did everything by the book. You looked pretty, you knew how he liked girls. You made yourself into his fantasies and he still can’t see past the fact that you’re just his brother’s bestfriend.
You take a deep breath between the sobs, calming yourself down. You felt horrible. You felt so sick and embarrassed. You felt so fucking desperate and pathetic that you just want to numb yourself of the pain.
You grab your chest, having difficulty breathing from crying too hard.
This is way more than a broken heart.
You’re no longer consolable, and there’s just no way you’re going back there with your makeup now ruined.
Are you that hard to want?
Are you that hard to need?
The tears don't stop as you walk out of the party. Gladly, everybody’s wasted so nobody noticed you ugly-crying.
As you turn to an alleyway, you shoot Jungwoo a text saying you got sick, and Chenle saying you got an uber home.
With your 7-inch heels on your hand, in the cold street, you walk in shame.
Bare feet on the sidewalk, shivering, that's when you noticed a bar.
Your feet prompted to enter, so that you did. You were going to drown the pain, and there’s nothing in your mind except alcohol.
You hoped that it would ease the pain.
And it did, the effects of it giving you a temporary memory loss. This was the numbing you needed.
The sensation of alcohol gave you solace, and for a while, your thoughts melted into nothingness.
Staring at the shot glass in front of you, you made a promise to your eighteen year old self.
That if Jeno doesn’t want you, you’ll make it your life’s mission to make everyone else crave you. You don’t need Jeno.
You’ll never be rejected again.
And just as soon as you felt like you can breathe again, your phone buzzed.
[2:34am] jisung: y/n, come home, quickly. it’s your mom.
୧ ‧₊˚ ☆
It was odd to say the least.
This has been what you’ve wanted for so many years. You prayed— and begged the heavens for Jeno to finally take you, to prove that you can get him.
And now, you’ve proven your point.
But why does it feel… strange?
Yes, it was the best sex you’ve had, and it might be the only one that could make you feel that way. It was mindblowing, it was everything and more.
Isn’t this the goal? For him to actually step over that line of being your best friend’s brother?
What else did you want?
Honestly, you don’t know anymore. Hence, you sneak out of the apartment in the middle of the night. Jeno was laying on his stomach, the comforter covering his lower half. His back muscles spread across the sheets and you take the art in. He really is sculptured to perfection.
You managed to put on your clothes and walk out of the apartment building. You find yourself in a nearby convenience store, walking through the isle finding something you didn’t know. Your mind is blank and empty.
These are the times where you wished there was someone to guide you to what you should do next. Because you have no idea. You’re confused, and you need direction.
These are the moments where you wished your mom was here. She would know what to do.
For a while, when you were with Jeno, you felt warmth you’ve always been trying to find from somebody else. With Jeno, you actually felt like sex wasn’t only about pleasure, but it’s also about being able to express unspoken feelings.
Sex wasn’t something you just needed to get over with. It felt amazing, It was perfect.
But it clicked too, that you know yourself was the only one who really appreciated it. Jeno— was in for the satisfaction. He never needed you like you needed him. You talked him into sleeping with you. You were begging for his touch.
You pushed him to a point where he just snapped and gave you what you’ve been desperately chasing him for.
And for what? Probably for you to stop. He was throwing scraps at you because he’s tired of that one girl who keeps chasing his tail. He just gave in, expecting you to finally give up.
Then it hit you. Your fourteen year old self, your eighteen year old self and your twenty-two year old self still has something in common.
You realize, that all the hard work, the wall you desperately tried to build was a fraud. Because at the end of the day, you never lost feelings for Jeno.
No matter how many people you’ve been with, it’s still gonna be Jeno for you.
That makes you laugh. In both ridiculousness and despair. Hopelessness felt eerily familiar.
Silly you, for thinking you’ve moved on.
Jeno is inevitable. And you’ll learn to accept it too.
As you reach up the isle and grab a bottle of Soju, a hand stops you.
“My love, are you okay?” A soft voice that you haven't heard in a while.
“Kun,”
୧ ‧₊˚ ☆
Jeno knows he’s royally fucked.
He gave into your trap, and you’ve successfully defeated him. All his morals, his beliefs, and the logic he stands on was out the window.
He knows you planned it out too. This was your way of taking revenge on him, when he repeatedly rejected you years ago.
He tried to keep his distance, because he promised.
And he takes his promises seriously, especially when it involves you. And he felt like he broke the one thing that’s keeping the promise he made a couple years ago.
You weren’t supposed to end up in his bed. You weren’t supposed to still want him after everything he’s done. You weren’t supposed to even be involved with him. He’s supposed to stay wherever he is, on the sidelines, silently protecting you.
But it’s all been done. You and Jeno did it, and it cannot be reversed. And now that its happened, there’s not much he can do. He has to hash things out, he has to fix everything.
Because no matter how many women he had before, no matter how many times he tricks himself, he had always felt like it wasn’t what he’s been searching for.
And when he finally had a taste of you, he’s afraid he’s gonna want more. And he’s afraid that he’ll never feel the way it felt with you. He’s horrified that what happened opened his eyes with what’s the truth.
And when he felt the other side of the bed cold, he opens his eyes and you’re gone.
Yeah, this is just a game for you.
But for him? Oh, he’s eternally fucked. The shame, the guilt, and everything in between creeps up. And not of you, he’ll never—ever be ashamed of you. He’s guilty about the fact that he let himself get carried away.
Out of frustration, he hits his steering wheel as he drove. He can’t believe he just did that.
He was drunk, you were clearly not in the right state of mind. Even if you were, he was still drunk. What happened was fucked up, both for him and for you.
He takes a deep breath before pulling out his phone.
He carefully types, calculating everything he needs to say.
[7:35am] to: y/n
hey. dont say anything to my brother. it was a mistake, i was drunk. i don’t really like you like that.
He sent it quick, afraid he’d delete it if he hesitated longer. And just as he did, he felt his whole chest stiffen.
Because once again, he lied. Both to you, and to himself.
୧ ‧₊˚ ☆
You woke up through the sounds of your phone ringing. It was the next week after the whole thing happened with Jeno, and you’ve not craved anything but sleep.
Kun never asked questions. Which you’re thankful for, but you can’t help but feel bad.
You ghosted the guy, again, but he welcomed you into his apartment with open arms like nothing happened. His smile was there, the warmth of his embrace still the same.
Before you could even say anything about your guilt, he’s quick to tell you that it’s okay. He’s with you because he wants to. Although you can’t give him what he wants the most.
In a perfect world, if you weren’t so fucked up, you’d be with Kun, no questions asked.
You were lucky it was the weekend, and you’ve got no class. So you just laid on Kun’s couch, binging away, rotting in the cushions. Kun doesn’t mind, he says its better than you going out and drinking.
Which is true, plus you just can’t physically get yourself back up and doing what you do before, after what happened with Jeno.
Jeno, Jeno, Jeno. Fucking Lee Jeno.
It’s like a curse, following you all throughout your existence. He’s like a ghost stuck in your hip, a burden you’d beg to get off of you. There’s just no way you’d have to carry these feelings towards him until your seventy, right? Jesus.
Your head whips at the door when you hear it open, not expecting Kun to come home so early.
He’s not here ‘til 7, right?
“Oh, you’re still here.”
Well, you’re right. It’s not Kun. It’s his lovely roommate Ten. Note the sarcasm on the lovely part.
“Yeah.” You backed down to the couch.
If there’s anyone annoyed at your presence, it’s definitely Ten. You think he harbored the anger and disappointment Kun should’ve had with you— like some sort of anger translator.
“Your roommate must be overjoyed having your place for her own.” He says, with feign casualness in his tone.
“She’s doing fine,”
“I mean, at this point, you’re gonna have to pay your share with the rent.” He scoffs as he puts down his bag harshly on the counter.
You let out a deep breath, reminding yourself that this is also his place. You’re not in a position to return his attitude because you, in your own thoughts, are aware that you’ve overstayed your welcome.
“Kun says its okay–”
“That’s–” Ten’s voice in a high pitch, but quickly calming himself down. “--that’s because Kun can’t say shit to you. I don’t know if you noticed but my friend is literally insane for you. And of course, you like the attention.”
You can’t help but look at him, your mouth slacking due to disbelief of what he just said. You bit your lip and paused, not wanting to say things without thinking about it first. Again, you're not in a position where you’re purely innocent in this situation.
“What do you want me to do? Tell me. I’ll leave right now.” You managed to calm your tone, avoiding any more discussion.
“What I want you to do is to be straight with Kun, y/n. I know you’re used to being a player, but Kun isn’t. He agreed to your situationship because you weren’t ready. You ghosted him for a few weeks and still he took you in even tho I fucking knew it was a dumb decision because he’s just hoping to be with you again. If you’re not planning to be with my friend, then just fucking make your decision. I know you’re not that cruel to string him along. He’s a good person, y/n.”
His sudden outburst caught you off guard, but every word he said was like a slap to you. Every sentence was nothing but facts, and you knew deep inside that you were in the wrong. That Ten was right. Kun is way too good for you. He does not deserve this.
You felt your eyes starting to warm, for a hundredth time. You nod in agreement. However, you can tell he wasn’t finished.
“He’s not your back burner, y/n. And I’m not saying this to you because I have a problem with you, but I’m saying this because he’s my friend. At first it was fine, but when you treat him lesser than what he deserves, I just feel like you’re being.. really selfish. It’s clear that you have your eyes on someone else. But please, Kun doesn’t do this type of shit. He’s way too naive. Poor guy thought he did something wrong.” The last sentence hits you the most, thinking about Kun probably did think that he’s the one to blame.
You sniff, nodding along Ten’s statement. “I will… I’ll talk to him.” You quietly say. Ten just looks at you before sighing, walking towards his door. As soon as his door closes, the front door opened.
“Sweet cheeks, what’re you doing?” Kun asks, seeing you standing on the doorway staring at nothingness.
You immediately wiped your tears and looked at him with a smile. “Really sad netflix movie,” you excused. Kun doubts, but chooses to stay silent. He walks two steps in front of you before giving you a warm hug like he does everytime he sees you at his apartment.
You gulp, gathering courage to actually start the conversation.
“Uh, Can we talk?” you nip at the bottom of your shirt.
“Of course, princess,” The old nickname he had somewhat felt like an assurance that he’s still the same. It lifted a bit of weight in your chest.
You sat in one of the chairs, not knowing what to do. This place was once your safe haven, now it just feels strange knowing what kind of situation you are in.
“So, uhm, I want to apologize for.. essentially cutting you off. It’s just that, uh, I’ve been–”
“You’ve been with Lee Jeno, right?” he asks, a ghost of a smile still present in his face.
“Well, yeah, but also, I didn’t know that I had that much of a relevance in your life so...” you say, honestly.
“Darling, you were everything.” he pauses. “--but I know that I’m not what you need, or what you wanted. And that’s fine. You don’t need to feel bad, it’s just how it goes.”
“But I’m here, and I promise you, that you don’t need to feel responsible about how I feel. I’ll be fine.” He smiles, like he used to, but this time you know it’s fake.
“Kun, you’re too good for me. You deserve more than me.” Your eyes start to water, but Kun never lets it drop. He caresses your cheeks for what it feels like the last time, before nodding at you.
“I know, baby.” He leaned closer, lips slowly grazing yours. As you felt it, the instinct of kissing back was swift, but Kun did not give you the chance of doing so as he pulled away.
“Don’t kiss me back, please,” he mumbled, before caressing your face for what it felt like the last time before turning away.
And just like that, you lost the man who was ready to give you everything for a man who can’t even spare you a glance.
୧ ‧₊˚ ☆
Jeno is still out of his mind.
He had flunked out of practice, only attending a couple times out of the two weeks that he needed to attend. Barely even there, just standing and basically lifeless in the court.
His coach and his teammates already feel less secure because of Jeno’s state of mind, especially when he’s supposed to be the team’s captain. He feels like shit, truly, and he knows he should be focusing on the game. But how can he, when all he can think of is you?
His coach gave him a hard talking but even that can’t seem to shake him up. His willingness to play disappeared like it was nothing.
He’s pretty sure the entire team hates him now, and if only there’s time to replace him, they’d definitely do it, but finding a replacement, with his skills, is basically impossible. Moreso in limited time.
As soon as he enters his apartment, he throws his bag on the floor and tunnels through his room to lock himself in there. But as soon as he entered it, he was shocked to find his brother laying in his bed.
“What’re you doing here?” He asks, confused.
“Just want to know something,” Jisung says, slowly sitting up. He looks up his brother, standing in the door frame. Jeno couldn’t read his expression, but its pretty clear that he’s not happy.
“Did you sleep with y/n?”
Jeno didn’t know how to react, his eyes widened and for a while, he had nothing to say. But in the end, he knew this was bound to happen. If not you, it would be him spilling the information to his brother.
He didn’t need to say anything, and he knew the silence is more than enough for Jisung to conclude.
“She really likes you, you know? I just–” Jisung paused, “--I just don’t know why you’d sleep with her when you don’t like her back. You know she likes you, hyung. What, is this like an ego thing? She’s y/n, hyung. You know she’s different.” Jisung honestly just sounded confused and tired. He’s not angry, not upset, he comes off like he just wanted proper answers from his brother.
“Dude, just get out.” Jeno dismissed, which pissed off his younger brother more.
“Oh fuck you. You can’t even hold a conversation with your own brother? And if only it’s not y/n, I wouldn’t even waste my time. But it’s her. You know her,”
Jeno took a deep breath. “I like her too, Jisung. No, fuck, scratch that. I fucking love her.”
For a minute, it was silence. Jisung then took the initiative to talk,
“Talk to mom, hyung.”
୧ ‧₊˚ ☆
Jeno was sixteen, when he realized that he likes the way you smile at him.
He saw you run down the stairs and straight to the kitchen. You were at his brother’s room, for a sleepover with his brother and Chenle. He was lounging on the couch, and he didn’t bother to turn on the lights. He likes to lay in here at night, cuddling with his cat, Bongsik. He can’t let the cat into his room because of his allergies, so he just settled on the couch.
Because Bongsik was alerted of your presence, the cat follows you to the kitchen. Jeno, of course, followed in pursuit. He can still remember the cute expression you had when you discovered Bongsik on the table.
He smiles at you, struggling to get chips from the cabinet. Naturally, he grabbed it for you. You had asked if Bongsik was new, and he answered yes.
“Yep, a rescue. Mom brought it home the other day. Jisung freaked,” He chuckles as he looks at the cat, snuggling in his chest.
He can see you almost begging with your eyes, wanting to pet the cat. So he let you. Surprisingly, Bongsik, who’s usually grumpy, purrs as soon as your hands come in contact with it.
You were so careful, and Jeno almost wants to chuckle at your meek attempt at staring at him.
A slight smile on your face was something Jeno noticed, from a close distance. He surely did not expect you to be this soft and angelic, but he thought to himself, that your smile is something he’d like to get used to.
Jeno was eighteen when he made his first mistake.
He had invited his friends over at his house. He had made some really cool friends, and he even got this girl he’s been trying to get with to tag along. Jeno feels nervous, of course, he wants to impress them.
Besides Jaemin, Haechan and Renjun, he also invites some people from the basketball team he’s trying to get into, and some girls that are part of the circle. And of course, the girl he had liked, Eunmi.
His friends encouraged him to make a move tonight, and for some dumb reason, he thought it would be romantic to bring out wine. So he went to the kitchen to do so, but got surprised when a soft voice called his name.
It was you. Your shy demeanor, and your avoiding gaze startles him but he can’t help but smile. You’re so cute.
He clears that with whatever you were gonna tell him, make it quick because someone’s waiting for him. But as soon as you open your mouth to say the next words,
“I like you. Very much.”
He feels like his feet are frozen. His heart starts to race and if only he wasn’t leaning on the counter behind him, he would definitely stumble. His grip on the wine glass tightens. He doesn’t know what to do.
The next words just came out, and he instantly regrets it.
“...I-I’m just being nice.. I have to be nice. You’re my brother’s best friend.” In a split second before Eumi interrupts the conversation, he can clearly see the pain in your eyes. The initial shock of the fact that he’s rejecting you was prominent in your face and he just wanted to take every word back at that point.
But before he could even utter another word, Eunmi decided to take over. You then quickly walked out, but before you can turn around, he sees a teardrop, and by then, he’s sure he’s made a mistake. He can’t believe he just broke your innocent heart.
Eunmi is no longer in his mind, his friends no longer his priority, the entirety of the night, you plagued his mind. He wanted to run after you, and apologize. But what exactly is it for? It’s not like he was rude. He was calm, but still, you were visibly upset.
Jeno blames himself, until the night ends, he shoots his brother a message to ask you if you were okay. He needs to know.
Jeno was twenty when he breaks his own heart for the first time.
He can’t believe his eyes. He doesn’t know which emotion he should feel, the anger that slowly builds up upon seeing you entering the party with Jungwoo, or the adoration to seeing you looking that good in your mini dress.
You had walked in with the confidence he failed to notice before, with Jungwoo’s arm around your waist. He clenches his fist, but soon he gets caught in his own mind when his girlfriend of two weeks leans over to him.
The train of thought he had was still there, however, he was forced to pretend like everything’s fine. Although he can’t look at you in the eye, when he can certainly feel your gaze time to time.
What he can’t absolutely avoid tho, is his eyes on Jungwoo’s touches. Since when did you let a random man touch you like that?
More so, a man like Jungwoo? Much older than you, and he doesn’t remember Jungwoo and you ever be in the same vicinity as each other. Why are you so comfortable with him already?
Green doesn’t suit Jeno. So he tries to focus on the girl beside him. But mentally, he counts the shots that was given to you. Too many, and if the situation is different, he’d take those shots and shove it up Jungwoo’s ass.
But as soon as you stood up, his quick reaction was to follow you.
All he can think about is you getting out of here.
“Find Chenle. Now.” He groaned, despite his anger, he doesn’t like yelling at you.
What you did next was unexpectable.
You had tried to kiss him.
His reflex was to push you, and that, he did. His demeanor changes, and everything that falls from his lips after that was a blur to him.
One thing’s clear, the look in your eyes. You were so defeated, but Jeno didn’t let it affect him. He was blinded by anger, and the fact that you’re so drunk that you’d kiss just anyone. Not to mention a man that has a girl! What has gotten into you?
“Are you that desperate? I rejected you already, didn’t I? I will never look at you different than being my brother’s best friend, y/n! So stop this fucking delusion while I’m being nice.” Lies after lies after lies.
He was completely out of his mind when he said that to you.
And when you cried in front of him, he felt his own heart break. Every tear is equivalent to a stab right through his chest.
Right there and then, he wanted to beg for your forgiveness. Say that everything wasn’t true, that he doesn’t think you were desperate. Hell, he would kiss you back if you’d let him.
But all those hope was thrown away when you left. Because what’s left was this strange, terrifying feeling that somehow, this was the last straw for you.
And Jeno despises himself for causing you pain, over and over. He curses at his own self for being so coward.
“Hey Jen, how are you?” His mom’s voice was enthusiastic as ever. Even over the phone, he can hear the smile in her face.
He thinks he should be honest. “Not good,”
“Aw, is it your practice? Don’t worry darling, just a few more months and you’ll be graduating!” He smiles at his mother’s sweet voice of anticipation, he can just imagine the tiny claps she does.
“No, mom. I—“ He closes his eyes in frustration. “I have to talk to you about something,”
“What is it? Is it your brother? About y/n?” Her tone changes, now sounding concerned.
Jeno curses mentally, because of how quick his mom mentioned you.
“It’s about y/n,” he says lowly, testing the waters for a bit.
He hears a deep sigh, “I called her a week ago and she’s been real distant from me, Jen. Anything I should know?”
“Mom,” He almost whines. He just wants to spill it out.
“What? You’re worrying me. Is our y/n okay? God, she’s been out of control, hasn’t she?” The concern is now intensified, and Jeno thinks he should just spit it out. But his tongue can’t seem to say it.
“She.. she’s fine.”
“Good gracious, okay. I thought something had happened. Her mother must be frowning at me from heaven right now. Still remember your promise to your Auntie, right?”
Bingo. The very reason as to why he can’t just say it. Why he can’t just be with you already. It’s because of this god forsaken promise that he made.
“You need to be a big brother to her, treat her as your sister. She has nothing but us now, Jeno.”
He almost cries, he just wanted to yell. He felt as though he failed his mother, your mother and you. He shouldn’t be feeling this emotion towards you. This harbored feelings are forbidden. He can’t. He just… can’t.
He lets his eyes get warmer, gripping in his phone harshly. He takes a huge, deep breath.
“Mom, I love her. So much. I- I can’t… I can’t keep on hurting her and pretending that I only look at her as a sister.” He pleads, finally letting it known. There’s no turning back.
Silence was deafening on the other line. Every millisecond, he can feel his heartbeat race.
“Jeno, we’ve talked about this.”
“I love her, mom. I do, I really do.” He cries, for the first time in a long time.
“She’s your sis—“
“She’s not! God, she’s your best friend’s daughter, I know that but I’m not her older brother. I’m a person that truly loves her. I have loved her for so many years but I keep on h—“
“Jeno, hush, darling. I understand… but she’s our family. If all these feelings get old and you decide you don’t love her anymore, who will she turn to? Not us, darling because at the end of the day, we’re your family. I’m just… worried about her, she has… no one to turn to if this all blows up.” His mother’s response, despite the rise of emotion, was still calm and soft.
“I won’t, mom. Please, just let me love her. I can’t keep hurting her, mom, It kills me.” Jeno never begged this much. Just for you. His only exception.
His mother pauses, way too long, before finally breathing out again. “Okay, darling. I trust you. But please. I beg you, not to hurt her. We’re all that she’s got.”
Jeno whips his head up, baffled as to how easy she agreed to him. A little to no persuasion, and it didn’t even take ten minutes.
“What? J-just like that?” Jeno questions in disbelief. Years of yearning, years of hurting you, when Jeno could just do this early on?
His mom, regardless of the moment, managed to let out a breathy chuckle.
“Darling, you’ve proven yourself over the years. Me and your Dad had an inkling that you have a special admiration for Y/n ever since before. Its just unfortunate that her mother had to pass, and had asked us a favor— more to you, to look after Y/N like your own sibling. And when you agreed, I felt like it’s just how it goes. But years of seeing you pretend to not care about her, and seeing you struggle to cope with your feelings, I knew then that you were serious.”
“Me and your Dad realized that our eldest, really, has grown up to be a man. And seeing you still have the same passion and the same feelings towards her until now, says that you’d stop at nothing at this point. So what’s the use of preventing you?”
And with that, Jeno was free. Free of constraint, of guilt and control over his own will and feelings.
Like a baby, Jeno falls asleep with tears in his eyes. In complete satisfaction on how things went. Now, his only problem is getting to you, and begging for your forgiveness. Wishing by then, you’d still want him.
୧ ‧₊˚ ☆
Jeno didn’t waste his time. As soon as the morning comes, he’s fast on his feet. He wants to talk to you, he wants to clear everything up. He had tried to text and call, but he quickly realized you blocked his number.
He called his brother next, but Jisung also has not heard from you since yesterday.
It wasn’t until 5pm that he couldn’t find you, he started to worry. None of your friends know where you are, and you’re not in your apartment either.
He contacted every possible soul that could even have a hint on where you’re at, but none of them knows.
He feels like he’s running out of time, running out of momentum.
And just as soon as he was about to call for help, he received a message.
[5:32pm] unknown number
she’s at dreamscape hill. she likes going there to ease her mind. take care of her, please. -k
He didn’t care to ask who it was, he just prayed that whoever sent him this message was right.
And off to dreamscape hill, Jeno goes.
He can barely catch his breath when he arrived, heart pounding at his chest. It was past sundown when he found you sitting at the bench, on top of the hill.
It’s you. He’s sure it’s you. To the curves of your shoulder, to the waves of your hair. Call it creepy, but he spent years looking at your back, from afar, forbidden to even glance at you when you’re close. So yes, he’s a hundred percent sure that it’s you.
He’s a few feet behind you, when he noticed the earphones you had on. Probably why you didn’t hear the ruffling of the twigs and leaves as he walked closer.
And in divine timing, you look back at your shoulder, looking straight at Jeno’s eyes, as if it made sense why he’s here.
Slowly, you pull the earphones out.
“What’re you doing here?” You ask, almost a whisper. But the city in front of you gave him enough silence to hear every breath you take.
“Finding you,” he answers. He struggles to keep his words straight, the thumping in his chest causing him to stutter.
You blink thrice, seems like you’re still processing Jeno’s answer.
“Why?”
Jeno took a couple step, and finally he sat beside you. he looked forward at the cityscape. He took note of your body language, it seems to him that you’re starting to get nervous.
“To tell you I’m sorry. I’m sorry it took this long for me to find you. I’m sorry I hurt you, I’m sorry for making you cry. I’m sorry that I wasted years, and I’m so sorry I lied.” Jeno says every word with great diction, in perfect pace and clear voice. He wants you to understand every word that he says.
He hears you let out a huff, as if in disbelief. His heart went even more faster, scared on what you might say.
He’s never anticipated an answer like this before. He never had to grip at his own knees in nervousness before. He can’t even look at your expression.
“I think we’re past that, Jeno.”
This is what he’s afraid of. He might be too late, he might fuck this up. Nevertheless, he’ll never regret trying.
“I know that I’m years too late but you need to understand—“
“I don’t need to understand nothing. What I need is to just live my life, love my life. I have spent years yearning for you, let me love myself too. I think I’ve loved you since I met you, Jeno. I just mistook it for curiosity. Everyone else isn’t you, and turns out that’s a huge problem for me.” Jeno can hear you smile, and when he finally let himself take a look, he softens.
You’re smiling like you used to smile. You’re smiling like you again.
“That’s because we thought we could alter fate, and tell me I’m batshit crazy for believing but I can prove to you that we’re just… soulmates, y/n. Y-you’re meant for me as much as I am for you.” These are some words Jeno never thought he would use. The things you make him do.
You chuckle again, while shaking your head. Do you find it ridiculous? Do you think Jeno is joking? Are you finding all of these insufferable? God, Jeno wished he could read you.
“We are not soulmates, Jeno. This is not some divine intervention, and shit, this is not fate. I wanted this. I knit the threads of my destiny until it spelled your name. I love you intentionally, Jeno. It’s not the stars and the heavens that brought us together. I did.”
Jeno was speechless. He could not utter a single word, he felt like he had no right to dictate you about what you feel. He’s ashamed, because what you said was right. You made him feel this, because of your desire for him, you made him fall. And damn it, he fell hard.
“It’s like you filled my lungs with flowers, although they are pretty, it made it hard for me to breathe. That's how much I wanted you.”
“Y/n, I will apologize to you forever if you wanted me to. Just… just please, let me have my chance.” Jeno begged like he never did before. He let his emotions out, and all for you. Because you deserve it. You deserve the real him.
Slowly, he felt your hand on his clenched fist, instantly letting it loose. He took the opportunity to lace your fingers together. It felt right, like your hand always belonged intertwined with his.
“If I took this chance with you, that would be the knife that would slit my own fucking throat, Jeno. And you know what’s funny? I’d probably apologize for bleeding in your shirt.”
“So let me have this time for myself, Jeno. And just like the old saying, time will tell. And if we find each other without even looking, then that’s when I’ll believe in that fate you were talking about.”
As your grip in his hand loosens, he felt like this was the first and last time he’ll get to hold your hand. He wanted to be selfish and not let you go, but he knows he’d be cruel to do that.
So he didn’t move. “I’ll see you around,” you say.
“I’ll find you,” he whispered, to you, to himself, and to whoever who’s listening. Let it be the heavens, or the devil in hell. He whispered to anybody, because he knows he’ll do it, and he wants everyone to stand witness to this promise.
“Sure you will,”
And in every step you made, as your body slowly walks away, you took his heart with you. Its yours, anyway. He’ll just have to find you to have it back.
୧ ‧₊˚ ☆
“Lee Jeno! Lee Jeno! Lee Jeno!”
The screams from the bleachers never seemed to falter, only getting louder each time.
The band is on full blast, people running around down the court as soon as the last whistle of the game went off.
Jeno had won the much awaited game against the SKU, with a whopping 73 points under his belt, making it the first time in his school’s history to earn that many points, by a single player, in one game.
This just solidified his reputation, being named the greatest player that had ever stepped foot on this campus.
And to make this game, even more legendary than it already is, it’s the last game of the season before Jeno graduates. So he’s literally going out with a bang with this one.
His teammates celebrated the win, begging Jeno to go the the victory party. For the first time, Jeno refused to attend a victory party. Much more, a victory he made happen.
He walked past the girls that’s lining up to take a picture with him, immediately walking straight back to the lockers.
He shoots a text at Renjun, informing his friend that he’ll head home, instead of attending the party.
He was about to turn to his locker, when his name was called by a familiar voice.
Jeno looked back, and to his disappointment, it’s Jennie.
“Why haven’t you answered my calls? It’s been months, Jeno! You can’t just..” Jennie couldn’t even finish her sentence, stomping her feet like a toddler.
Yes. It has been months since he blocked every girl that he had ever slept with.
Three months, thirteen days, and twenty-one hours, to be exact.
“My team’s gonna be here soon. You don’t want me to embarrass you in front of them, trust me.” Jeno’s threat was casual, but he’s serious enough for Jennie to take the hint.
“B-but, Jen, it's me.” Jennie’s voice turns softer, making Jeno cringe at the tone. She then tried to touch his shoulder, but Jeno was quick to dodge.
“Exactly. You’re you, Jennie. And I don’t like you.”
The girl was aghast, to say the least. Her mouth wide open in disbelief. Taking Jeno’s advice, albeit with offense, she stomps her way out of the lockers.
Just as he said, his teammates started flocking in, with his coach holding the trophy. He lost count on how many pats in the back he received after the game. The repetitive congratulatory messages are starting to grow old.
“Are you really not coming? You’re literally the man of the year, dude. Everybody’s gonna be looking for you!” Sungchan, one of his teammates says.
“Nope,” Jeno says with a pop.
“Come on, this’ll probably the last victory party you’ll ever have!” Yangyang joins in, but Jeno just shrugged his shoulders.
“Sorry, dude. I got a thesis paper due in two days.”
A plethora of complains, grunts and ‘what?!’s came pouring in after his statement, but Jeno stood his ground.
Jeno was serious. He needs to study for his thesis paper, and pass it on time. His professor expects him to match his academics to his basketball career, and he doesn’t want to disappoint.
Before the commotion gets even more wild, and before Jeno gets kidnapped into attending the party, he swiftly bids farewell to his coach, the only person that mattered to him. His coach just shook his head and gave him a nod, before letting him go.
“You did well, kid.”
Jeno heads through the parking lot. He had been stopped by students every ten seconds therefore his usual 4 minute walk to his car ended up being 30 minutes.
He starts up the engine, but before taking off, he checks some of his messages.
[8:43pm] dong(yuck!): congratulations, lebron ‘lee jeno’ james! the game was so cool dude u look good throwing balls lol btw im staying at my girls hauz. also ur welcome. also enjoy. lolz
[8:54pm] jaemjaem: dude that game!!! ur on FIRE my guy!! pls pls apply for nba so i can watch courtside with kanye west :D im out rn and i wont be home til tmrw. ur welcome ;)
[8:59] jisung: great game couldve been better tho… anyways… wrap it b4 u tap it!!!
[9:02pm] injunnie <3: game was lit. didnt understand shit abt the game but u did good. im spending the night @ my moms so u better make it worth it, lee jeno.
Jeno’s breath hitches, and before he could even question the hints his roommates are giving him, another ping notifies his phone.
[9:04pm] unknown number: hi. im at urs. can we talk?
Jeno knows not to speed, but tonight, he swears his tires didn’t even touch the concrete. He is flying off the highway.
With sweaty palms, he enters the security code to his door. Hands shaking, he opens it up and with the sight of a woman’s shoes on his doorstep, he takes a deep breath.
“I hope you don’t mind, it was Jaemin’s idea to let me in without telling you. Uh, so if you’re not—“
“Y/n,” he gulps as he takes in your figure, standing in the middle of his kitchen.
“Yeah.. it’s me.” You smile tightly, shrugging your shoulders.
Even though Jeno was ready to leap and drown you in his embrace, he stood his ground. He’s still not sure why you’re here, and until you say so, he’s not moving. The last thing he wants to do is push your boundaries.
“What’re— what are you—” He feels stupid. Stuttering like a five year old in front of you.
“Figured we could talk. Jisung and Chenle got sick of me moping around so they made me—“
“I hope you’re not being forced to talk to me. I told you, I’ll wait. No matter how long,” The sincerity laced in his voice was prominent.
“I promise you, I went here in my own will. Two idiots just talked some sense into me, and Jisung told me about the promise you made my mom years ago.”
Then there was silence. But this time, it wasn’t deafening. It was peaceful. Its as if you two are finding serenity in each others presence and just the way you stare at each other already says the words your mouth couldn’t speak.
But Jeno cut it short. “Does this mean..”
“I want to try, Jeno. I want to experience this with you. Slowly, at our own pace. I want to go on dates. Carnivals. Watch netflix. Everything, with you.” There's a tinge of shyness in your voice, and Jeno just wants you to scream it out. You don’t need to shy away from him.
“Everything, with me. At your own pace. I’ll accept everything you can offer,” He assured your worried mind.
You nod gently. “I want to feel loved without feeling like I’m begging for it,”
Jeno shakes his head vigorously, “No, baby, you’ll never beg to be loved, ever again. I swear in my grave.” He takes one step closer.
“I’ll trust you and risk getting my heart broken again, but I really hope you won’t.”
One more step closer “I will never. Baby, you’re it for me. I didn’t know it before, but I should’ve known it was you, because no one else made sense.”
You nod again, biting your lip. “When I visited my mom, I told her about you,”
“Yeah?” Jeno asks, in a sweet tone, taking another step closer.
You smiled at him. “I bet she would trust you too,”
“I will not break her trust. Not again,”
He watches carefully as you raise your hand to cup his cheeks, his reaction was to lean into your touch. He takes your initiative as a signal, but still takes his movement slowly.
You gulp, looking up at him. “Can you love me now?”
“Oh, baby. I have loved you since forever. It just took me time to realize it.”
And then, as you tiptoe to match his height, he feels your lips on him and he swears that you taste like heaven.
Jeno didn’t remember how long you talked that night, but somewhere in the midst of your laughter and smiles, he decided that he would destroy the world for you.
Because you might not know it, but in every universe, in every lifetime, and in every story, Jeno has always been completely, madly, and inevitably yours.
A/N: From the bottom of my heart, I apologize for making you guys wait this long. I promise, it just happened to be my worst year ever :'(( but at least she's here! I just wish this could at least be worth it. Tune in for the next part (I promise, it would NOT take this long lmao)
