Nerd Rage and Bagels

Ya girl Maze here.... Stop by the late night convenience store with me and have a pop. We can exchange shitposts like old Pokémon trading cards, compare our anime watchlist, or just hangout :)

[violet-prism-creatively]

I tried my hand at one of those two-column (contrapuntal) poems! I have a new level of respect for anyone who writes these lol

You can also read it on ao3 where I learned how to code an HTML table for this.

[thirsty-and-distant]

Eva Stratt who is the most powerful woman in the world and has a powerpoint ready the second she needs to explain project hail mary. and the title page is "what is project hail mary". exactly like you would do for a classroom presentation. no one is doing it like her

and Ryland Grace. a middle school teacher. is taking notes like this is a classroom.

[oswednesday]

one time at a funeral i panicked and said the first drink i could think of and the bartender made me the pina colada With all the fixings all the trims all the bells and whistles i didnt even ask imagine youre at a funeral and the person besides you is drinking a pina colada with whip cream as tall as the drink with a cherry and an umbrella, thats what happened to me

[ur-favorite-fishgirl]

if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems

[cuunos]

being a kid and hearing adults say stuff like "woah 2011 was 4 years ago haha" didn't really convey the fucking horror of a youtube video crossing my recommended labelled "9 years ago" and it's from 2017. that's not true. 9 years ago is 2010 or something. don't lie.

[tendebill]

[part 1] [part 2]

rocky learns about the Denmark incident :]

[rylandsgrace]

Project Hail Mary (2026) + Letterboxd reviews

[whitepeopletwitter]

[ramshacklefey]

No IDs, but these tags got me in a huff:

So ok look. The point is not the flared leg by itself. These cannot be yoga pants. These are, and you have to understand this if you are too young to have worn them, BLUE JEANS. And this was the last years before all jeans were 70% spandex.

They were denim, and they weren't bell bottoms. They hung loose from the knee in a way that would make a wizard envious. We all walked around like we were wearing hakama. And they dragged on the ground. That was important. Ragged cuffs. If your jeans weren't so long that they had ratty cuffs, they were embarrassingly short.

And the thing about denim is that it's a twill weave and it's cotton. So not only does it hold a lot of water, it wicks. Walking around in these suckers on a wet day could get you wet to the knees even if you never stepped in a puddle.

Then you'd go inside and take off your shoes and try to avoid letting your freezing, wet, filthy pant legs touch your skin.

Yoga pants. Hmf.

[elodieunderglass]

people in cold climates would have a tide line of white marks around their knees (if they were normal height) in the winter.

From wicking up road salt.

[taibhsearachd]

The visceral memory of that time is something that never leaves you. Everyone's jeans were many inches higher in the back than the front because you kept stepping on the hem and ripping it off. Your lower legs were so very cold. Every new pair of jeans literally enveloped your entire foot, they were so so long re: leg-to-waist ratio. Walking on a rainy day was a legitimate workout. You have no idea.

[no-one-offical]

‎

[tuherrus]

you don't even have a dog

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Okay but imagine being the team of Eridian scientists tasked with keeping Erid's Only Human alive for as long as possible while the whole planet's environment is literally trying to kill him. And then Rocky shows up and is like:

“Grace says he would like half of dome to be water.”

“Oh, is necessary for humans to have large amounts of water question?”

Small Eridian equivalent of a sigh. “No. Not needed for life. In fact Grace will die if he falls in water and does not get out.”

“Tell him we give him water in containers that won't kill him. Lots lots lots of water on Erid for Grace to drink.”

“No. Grace say he want water on ground. Also want it with excess sodium chloride compound so it will be unhealthy for drink.”

“WHY QUESTION???”

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

To celebrate Erid getting their sun back on track, Grace asks for some alcohol. There's a small amount left from the Hail Mary and Rocky offers to take it to the science Eridians to see if they can synthesise more.

“Grace want this liquid for celebration.”

“Of course.” They scan it. “You have wrong liquid. This contain compounds which are poisonous for humans.”

“Yes yes yes. Grace say humans like feeling of being slightly poisoned.”

“WHY QUESTION?????”

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Grace is like one of those extremely finicky tropical fish who instantly die if not kept in extremely specific conditions.

Only here the fish can talk and keeps asking you to make it vodka.

[randomfandomisuppose]

I love love LOVE a platonic relationship between Rocky and Grace where neither of them are normal about each other.

They’re best friends but by both Earth and Eridian standards everyone is like “Oh wow, they’re… close-”

Like little to no cares about privacy around each other because, well, fuck you aren’t getting much of that on a spaceship for multiple years now are you?

Wherever one goes there’s a 50% chance the other will be there too.

Whenever Grace talks to another Eridian he uses some sort of portable instrument to communicate but with Rocky they just speak in two separate languages at each other. It’s like seeing someone speak to someone in only Chinese and the other person only responds back in English.

Would be funny if Eridians aren’t very touchy but Rocky is basically clingy as fuck when it comes to Grace. Always tugging on his pants like a toddler to get his attention and stuff.

Grace just using Rocky in either his ball, enclosure or his xenonite suit as a backrest while he’s grading or doing work or something, Rocky fully absorbed in his own thing. Sitting as close together as physically possible while having zero interaction with each other. Parallel play at it’s best.

These two come in a pair. Do not separate.

All of this and more, fully platonically, people wonder if they’re the world’s first weird inter solar system couple and if they’re in some weird polycule with Adrian but no, they’re just like that.

It’s just Rocky and the human he adopted as a permanent part of his family that he will spend every possible second of the rest of his short life with because he won’t be here forever and he’s not going to waste any of his time for the world.

Also Adrian still loves Rocky and isn’t quite as close to Grace as he is but is also very fond of the weird awkward alien their mate brought home because Grace is Rocky’s family and that makes Grace Adrian’s family too.

[future-crab]

Sometimes I get the "I can fix him" urge for a fictional character but like not in a sexy way. I can fix him with the power of friendship. I look at him the way a 12 yr old horse girl looks at an abused stallion that has injured its last 3 riders but she knows that it will sense her good vibes and she'll be the first person to show it kindness. That man is a skittish horse to me.

[verenakauer]

"Why did Stratt pick a school teacher" — because my guy can frankenstein Venus out of plywood, some duct tape and a dream. "I'm not qualified" — buddy, you have scientific background and the resourcefulness of someone who is used to having zero budget. I love this specific part of the plot that is "let's take the guy who can problem-solve things with zero money and give him unlimited budget and see what happens".

[benjimint]

[djkoenig-deactivated20140905]

(◡‿◡✿)

(ʘ‿ʘ✿) “what you say ‘bout me”

(ʘ‿ʘ)ノ✿ “hold my flower”

[chronically-ill-dandy]

✿＼(｡-_-｡) “Kick his ass, baby.  I got yo flower.”

[djkoenig-deactivated20140905]

thanks for ruining my post jackass

[chronically-ill-dandy]

(￣^￣ﾒ)＼✿ "Fine, I'ma keep ya damn flower.“  

[goldenbunny30]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame look I found it

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

I see your “Rocky swears like a sailor but only in pitches humans can’t hear/refuses to teach Grace what those words mean” and raise you “Rocky swears like a sailor and now has to explain to Grace that ‘bad bad bad’ isn’t actually a sequence you play on your Eridian speech piano in polite company.”

Grace is both horrified and amused to realise that a more accurate translation for what Rocky’s been saying is “shit shit shit”.

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Eridian government representative: Greetings Rocky, Saviour of Erid, and Grace, Saviour from Beyond the Stars. We are pleased to welcome you home.

Grace, haltingly on the keyboard Rocky built for him: Wassup bitches. Fucking jazzed to—

Rocky: GRACE STOP TALKING NOW NOW NOW I EXPLAIN LATER

[sailermoon]

this is how new yorkers @ mamdani

[sailermoon]