Welcome! You can call me Ophie or CN, whatever you prefer :] I use any pronouns, and, I can understand english and tagalog (can’t speak properly though). I’m currently in an indefinite hiatus while I focus on school, but I’ll try to post when I can!!
I don’t play a lot of games, but currently, I’m playing Genshin (haven’t progressed since Sumeru has been released though), Criminal Case (just started a couple days ago and I just finished the corpse in a garden case :3), PJSekai, Minecraft, Cookie Run, Codm, ML, and occasionally Honkai:SR.
Music tastes are a bit all over the place, but I mainly listen to Yaelokre, Marina, Queen, and ABBA. Also a bit into musicals but not that much, I just listen to Hamilton, Six, and Heathers.
(Formerly a genshin fic account! Made student god fics.)
Fuck man I actually want to just scrap the whole thing and re-write the epilogue but at the same time, I’m not as into genshin anymore and I just want to write about random stories 😭
Shaking with excitement rn. Boutta explode here so-
HOLYSHIT I CAN PROLLY GO TO CONQUEST ON JUNE RUF!3:&:&@,&;8:& LIKE HOLY SHIT THIS IS LIKE MY FIRST CONVENTION AND I CAN GO WITH A FRIEND AND IM GOING IN COSPLAY AND ITS MY FIRST TIME COSPLAYING AS WELL AND WE’RE GOING ON SATURDAY AND TUOMTO AND ATSU AND ANT AND DISH AND A BUNCH OF OTHER CCS AND VAS THERE AND SO MANY ACTIVITIES AND OFHWJJSKSJEJEK
Shaking with excitement rn. Boutta explode here so-
HOLYSHIT I CAN PROLLY GO TO CONQUEST ON JUNE RUF!3:&:&@,&;8:& LIKE HOLY SHIT THIS IS LIKE MY FIRST CONVENTION AND I CAN GO WITH A FRIEND AND IM GOING IN COSPLAY AND ITS MY FIRST TIME COSPLAYING AS WELL AND WE’RE GOING ON SATURDAY AND TUOMTO AND ATSU AND ANT AND DISH AND A BUNCH OF OTHER CCS AND VAS THERE AND SO MANY ACTIVITIES AND OFHWJJSKSJEJEK
So- I have a new hyperfixation and if anyone has been on tiktok, they prolly know what it is. I love the characters and Wally is so- ifeichwidb The moment I saw that man, my brain was like
‘New comfort character unlocked!’
I know that people say he’s like- kind of a bad guy but c’mon.
JULIE TOO LIKE COWBCIWNFFB SHE REMINDS ME OF STAR FROM SVTFOE AND I JUST-
am i sinking or swimming? [scaramouche x gn!reader]
⎯⎯ fatui!scaramouche, angst, no comfort, toxic relationship, blood
songfic based off of late night drive home's song stress relief
his words shook you to your core.
this wasn't kunikuzushi. where did you go wrong? you stood by his side and felt his pain every time he lost a close one to him and yet he chose to turn into this... this monster. he was never home and whenever he was, he acted as if you didn't exist. he acted as if you were there for, what, emotional support?
scaramouche talked to you when he felt like it. when he felt like he was about to lose it, his mind flooding with the heart wrenching memories of them. it's always been them, but never you. why can't he see you? he says something along these lines during these moments. "(name), what do i do? i can't do this anymore."
were you his lover, or his therapist?
you gnaw down on your bottom lip, restraining pained sobs as you soothe your husband from behind him with your hands comfortingly rubbing his shoulders. "it's okay, kunikuzushi. you're okay, because i'm going to be here with you," you reassure him, planting a kiss against his tear stained face.
scaramouche's fist ball up the sheets of the bed as tears continue to pour from his eyes. without looking at you, he turns around and holds you in his embrace. "you won't leave me, right?" his voice is small and full of sorrow. one would think he was manipulating you in this situation and in this case, maybe he was.
your eyes widen. oh, oh no, what were you thinking? your poor lover was just in a hard place at the moment, so of course he holds mutual feelings for you, he's just feeling down! it's your job to help him find his happiness again and he'll go back to his old loving self.
his loving self...
it's stress relief from everything.
what exactly is his happiness? right, letting him take out his anger on you. after that, he'll definitely apologize and go back to loving you. he says the most hurtful things and his words slice like a blade. you could say that if his phrases were physically harming you, you'd be six feet under.
it's okay, because this is his way of coping. it's not the healthiest way, sure, but would you rather have the only important person to you feeling sad and lonely? no. no one would want that. you went through his mental abuse in a state of being completely lovesick with the man.
it will strengthen your bond with him and show him that you're never leaving, that he can finally put his trust in you and see you as his spouse. how much can you take though?
your friends always tell you stories about their spouse, from how they cook, to the type of plans they make for dates... it's endless. and whenever the conversation puts you on the spotlight, you're speechless. what would you tell them about your beloved kunikuzushi?
"he's sweet like usual..."
they would playfully laugh at your comment.
"that's what you said last time, (name)! come on, anything new? are you guys going on a date sometime?"
you simply shake your head and direct the topic of the conversation elsewhere.
tell me, tell me you love me.
you're on your knees of the living room in your shared house with scaramouche, hands against the floor as broken sobs break past your lips. how long have you been holding this in? how long... has he been holding back the urge to hurt you?
scaramouche blankly stares at the hand that roughly grabbed your arm before moving his gaze to your figure. his nails had dug deep into your flawless skin, creating bloody crescent marks. hesitant, he moves towards you with one step, and then two...
"sorry, (name), but i have to go back to my fatui duties."
of course. you'd expect nothing less of your loving husband. "is that all, kunikuzushi?" you croak out, voice scratchy from your cries. scaramouche narrows his eyes. "you were willing to take this head-on, weren't you? so take what you bargained for." his gaze lingers upon you for a few moments before he leaves the house.
you cry out in anguish. you aren't sure whether it's because of the pain he inflicted upon you, or the feeling of your heart being torn apart by his ruthless hands. you stagger to the kitchen, hastily running your wound beneath cold water and wincing at the sting. you wrap it with bandages and heave large breaths.
"i can't... i can't do this anymore!" you groan and wipe at your tears but they just kept on coming like an endless waterfall. "i've done all that i can for you, but i can't do this, kunikuzushi."
you were right all along. you're a toy to him. a toy to satisfy his greedy needs and wants as he lulled you into staying by triggering your guilt with his hypnotizing voice and solemn cries. you're a toy that he never cared for. but if that toy were to be taken from him, would he contemplate the way he treated it then?
come back, come back to haunt me.
scaramouche returned home with bandages. he just couldn't find the person he needed to put the bandages on. he wandered around the house for quite a while, thinking nothing of it. he brushes it off; you probably went down to inazuma city to see your friends.
he goes into the kitchen to put the bandages away, but finds an empty roll of bandages on the counter. oh. 'i guess they won't be needing this anymore then,' scaramouche thought to himself, putting the bandages into the cabinet and tossing the roll aside.
scaramouche goes back outside and decides to wait for you. he hopefully removes his hat from his head so you could see his face first thing when he caught you in sight.
soon enough, night falls. he rubs his eye with one hand, the other one sore and aching from holding his heavy hat. he won't go back inside until he's seen you. like any other dilemma the two of you had, he'll apologize and console you with his words as you fall asleep in his arms.
that day would never come for him, not again.
won't you, won't you let me be myself?
"have you seen..." his voice trails off when he realizes the looks of disgust your friends give him. his eyes go dark as they continue to whisper, acting as if he wasn't there.
"i feel bad for them but seriously, a harbinger?"
"it's fine, we should look after them. i'm glad they finally told us about him, it's no wonder they were so off lately."
scaramouche's shoulders sink. "s-so, you know where they are, right? can you please tell me, i just want to talk-" he's stammering in between gasps, not even realizing he's on the verge of bursting into tears. one of them grimaces at his look of agony. "leave them alone, you've done enough damage to them."
if scaramouche, had a heart, he swore it would have skipped a beat in that moment. "damage? no, no, you must be mistaken! i love them!" scaramouche's temper began to rise. who were they to tell him how you felt for him?
"stop it, please. they told us to tell you that they don't want to carry on with this relationship."
"archons, they were right, he really would chase after them. what a psycho..."
scaramouche felt the air knock out of his lungs almost instantly. 'they've got it all wrong, we're going to be okay, (name). i love you, i love you, i love you-' he stands there, watching your friends leave him heartbroken and in pain.
i was holding on but you didn't see my shots baby.
"i'm going to make it up to you, but i don't want to sleep alone." scaramouche whimpers to himself, curling into a pathetic position on the cold bed. his hands cover his ears as he shudders, startling from the booming noise of thunder and the creaking of the house.
his eyes are tightly shut, scared that if he opened them, he would see a horrid figure in the dark. what a child...
he blindly reaches around for your hand like he usually did, to tightly squeeze it to reassure him that you were there; you would keep him safe from any dangers within the night. you even said it yourself. "i may not have your strength, but i'm good at handling the night, alright? whatever scares you, i'll take care of you."
"take care of me, (name)... stay with me..."
all the times that I couldn't speak my thoughts well maybe.
at the tsaritsa's palace, scaramouche's fatui subordinates would be lying if they said the balladeer wasn't different. his eyes clearly showed signs of exhaustion and he was much too tired to even shout at them for a change. they thought he was a total ghost.
always moping around, mumbling your name and writing what seemed to be countless letters. it went from asking you about your day, to telling you about his day, to him writing paragraphs of apologies and so, so many 'i love you's.
whenever one of the fatui subordinates were in his office, he'd suddenly smile with empty eyes and ask, "do you have a partner or a spouse, perhaps?" scaramouche would lean back in his chair and add, "i have my own spouse. you see, they're very special because they love me even though i messed up a lot."
"i love them more than they love me. do you agree?" scaramouche would tilt his head and his aura sent shivers down the subordinate's spine. say no, he dares them.
for now, he hasn't chosen to send out a search party for you because he wanted to prove that he wasn't a psycho like your rude friend said. but still, the pain was eating away at him. every sleepless night and the guilt that was weighing him down was catching up to his mental health.
well this is what i wanted please don't feel so bad.
give him another chance. he's laying in bed and staring at the ceiling, mindlessly muttering, "our anniversary is soon. we can go anywhere you like. i have a special surprise too, so you better look forward to it and tonight, i can stay home. the tsaritsa told me to go on a break for today since..."
scaramouche turns on his side and closes his eyes. "i don't really know, but it's fine. we can have a date and i'll show all of your friends that i'm much more better than their spouses. or maybe, we can stay home and i'll cook for you. you never tasted my cooking before, but it's good, i promise you."
little conversations with no one. he hates the reality of his life and he wants nothing more than to be with you. he wouldn't care if you shouted at him or hurt him; seeing you was more than enough.
"you didn't like it when i talked about them, right? i'll talk about you, and only you this time, i promise..."
in love with a ghost please won't you come back...
ironically i will do the exact same thing i complain about with this post but here goes nothing.
please, people, use your tags correctly.
not only with warnings at the beginning of the fic (which, unfortunately, are missing a lot), but also with the tags at the end of a post to get attention on it.
it bothers me to see all those irrelevant posts when i try to read some fanfiction. no, i don't need to see your empty masterlists when i try to shut off from the world and have a break from everything as i read something.
a masterlist is supposed to be a summary for your already published work. not for self promo purposes.
i honestly don't care if i sound absolutely dramatic or rude, but i'm absolutely sick of it.
proper tagging has been an issue for as long as i can remember, unfortunately. no, i don't want to see your empty masterlists. no, i don't want to read a short drabble which ends up being about incest and then see that there was only a tw at the bottom of the post.
no. just no.
it's not hard to write a couple more words and mention "hey, the main plot of this writing contains incest / abuse / whatever". not everyone views a writer's profile to check for a dead dove: do not eat warning on the navigation post. i personally don't go on a writer's profile before i start reading a fic.
please, people. don't mis-use tags. don't just assume people have their triggers filtered out. because sometimes we don't. sometimes we forget about it.
Teenager!Kunikuzushi flies to Sumeru to visit his beloved Aunt Buer and stay with her for the summer. She lives in a nice, cozy neighborhood where the locals are mostly lonely elders or large families, whose children come home to visit and spend time with them during summer break. The neighbors are all friendly with each other and generally know each other pretty well, visiting during the day, offering meals to elders who are too tired to cook, and helping each other clean or prepare for their families to come and visit.
It was a quiet afternoon in the house. Kunikuzushi had just finished unpacking his things into the guest room. The smell of fresh spices wafted through the air and graced his nostrils, urging him to walk to the kitchen where his Aunt Buer was standing on a stool, preparing dinner. He bit the inside of his cheek to prevent a smile at the way she stood on her toes to see over the pot.
"Aunty, do you need help?" He asked, rolling up his sleeves.
"Kuni, perfect timing! I don't need help here, but could you go and tidy up the living room, please? One of the neighbors is coming over with one of their children in an hour." Buer informed with a smile.
Kunikuzushi let out a sigh before he could remember to bite it back, "Okay." He nodded and turned to leave.
Kunikuzushi examined the spotless living room one last time before pulling his phone out of his pocket and falling back onto the plush couch with a soft 'oomf'. The sound of three soft knocks drifted through the house.
"Kuni! Can you come get the door? My hands are full!" Buer shouted from the kitchen.
"Coming!" He shouted back as he pushed himself off the couch. He dropped his phone in his pocket and smoothed out his clothes as he mentally prepared himself to socialize with some random person. When he opened the door, he saw your mother standing at the door with a kind smile on her face and her hair in a messy, low bun. Standing shyly behind her was you, holding a covered tray of desserts.
"Hello, Kunikuzushi! It's been a while. You're as handsome as ever!" Your mother giggled and pinched his cheek. His face slightly warmed and you looked away to ease his embarrassment.
"Please, come in. Aunty is finishing up with dinner." Kunikuzushi said warmly to your mother.
"Thank you, young man." She nodded and walked in first.
"Thank you," You said quietly, nodding at him as you stepped forward. You were shocked by the cold glare you received. Was this really the kind, sweet boy your mother and aunty Buer always told you about?! You cleared your throat as you walked past him, his eyes boring into the back of your head and sending a shiver down your spine. His coldness was quickly forgotten as you entered the warm yellowish glow of Buer's home and the delicious scent danced in the air. Kunikuzushi lead you and your mother to the kitchen, where Buer was washing her hands.
"Ah, [Mother's name]! It's so nice to see you!" She quickly dried her hands and walked up to your mother.
"Hello, Buer! How have you been?" Your mother beamed as she clasped Buer's hands in her own.
"Quite well, thank you!" She gave your mother's hands a squeeze as she turned to you. "Hello there, [name]! You've gotten bigger!" She excitedly skipped over to you, and you kneeled down so she could hug you and pinch your cheeks. You didn't get bigger at all, actually, but it made sense for someone as small as Buer to assume so, so you overlooked it.
"I missed you, aunty. We brought desserts for you and your nephew." In an attempt to get something aside from a disgusted look out of him, you smiled up at Kunikuzushi, who spared you a glance before dismissing you and looking back to Buer.
"How sweet of you! You can just leave them on the counter for now." She beamed.
"[name], why don't you two go sit in Kunikuzushi's room while me and Buer chat?" Your mother smiled at you, completely aware of the despair in your eyes at the thought of having to socialize with someone new, let alone the absolutely terrifying Kunikuzushi who was supposed to be 'the sweetest boy ever!', according to your mother and Buer.
Buer gave Kunikuzushi a firm look, her eyes telling him to 'behave'. You stood up and nervously pulled on the sleeve of your shirt.
"Okay, mama." You said quietly as Kunikuzushi gestured for you to follow him with a nod of his head. You gave your mother one last look, begging for her pity as you hurried to follow Kunikuzushi. She only smiled at you in faux oblivion before turning her attention back to Buer. You couldn't help but feel like a lamb, skipping mindlessly to the slaughter as Kunikuzushi lead you through the hallway to the guest room.
You whisper a prayer to the archons above as you enter the room.
Let's hope Kunikuzushi isn't as mean as he looks...
