This post is almost 11 years old now, so I feel like it’s time for an update:
Mike Driver
Not today Justin

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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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RMH

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Claire Keane
we're not kids anymore.
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YOU ARE THE REASON
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year

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@legallyblind2334
This post is almost 11 years old now, so I feel like it’s time for an update:
"I'm sweating like a pig": scientifically innacurate (pigs don't sweat), mean (kind of implies you think pigs are gross :( not cool dawg)
"I'm sweating like a motherfucker: realistic. you probably would sweat if you fucked someone's mother. implies you've got game
Sometimes you log on to tumblr dot com and see your beloved mutuals thirsting over unrisen sourdough men and you have to say a very very quiet ‘pass’ to yourself and let it go because inevitably the flat circle of time will bring around your turn to go gaga over some butterface dude or bug eyed girl and you must know that your beloved mutuals are saying a quiet ‘pass’ to themselves and leaving you to your moment of insanity in peace.
"Using an Oxford comma is a sign of AI"
bestie boo, let me fill you in on something: if you're going to take any part of 'good grammar' and randomly assign it to She's A Witch! AI, you might as well give up. It's over. You're cooked. Anyone who has spent the last decade or more learning to type properly, anyone who has spent any time writing articles/papers/essays that require you to use 'good grammar' is going to fall into that 'oh no it might be AI' trap.
Stop hunting like it's 1692. You're not going to find Goody Proctor at the ChatGPT sacrament. What you're going to do is exactly what happened back then: harming people who've done nothing wrong.
can I reblog this a million times
my grubhub being delivered by a wizard or some sort of apostle
I feel so bad for the annoying women at work. Like I actually feel sick when we’re interacting and I feel the annoyance occurring in my brain like she really doesn’t mean to be this way and she just doesn’t want to feel alone or rejected. you can tell she’s experienced being an outsider everywhere she goes it’s only a matter of time. And it’s not cool chic or edgy but in the ugliest most desperate and dehumanizing way. They always start hopeful. they want to connect and they go searching for someone receptive to her so she can find her people but everyone turns away from her slowly and u hear it in her voice. It’s happening again. she starts hesitating to speak and when she does you hear a shaky child ending every sentence like it’s a question. Testing the waters to know if she’s wrong for even trying. And then I realize I took her smile for granted now that it’s gone.. I have to make it up to her I can’t let something like this continue. Life is so hard for people everywhere, so building a tolerance for being irritated is nothing in comparison especially if the reward is less pain and loneliness in the world I will always be the bestie you have my word
“I don’t do math because I’m gay” “the gays can’t do math” “If I explain math on tumblr I’ll lose my gay card” all of you apologize to Alan Turing right now
The “+” in LGBTQ+ is for math.
It’s literally been years since anyone added something slightly clever or original to this post, so I would like to congratulate you and maybe even bestow some kind of award. I don’t have anything to give you though
It was simple addition, really.
Simpsons Style AI Ad for Porn Addiction App
“can’t believe women fought to work!! i don’t wanna work!!” women have Been Working they fought to get Paid you know that right ?
chat how do i kill the desire to be wanted and chosen before it kills me
seal point
aye aye captain
hey why do u automatically draw butches dark skinned and femmes light skinned. just wondering why your femmes are always pale, especially always being put next to darker skinned butches. just wondering why dark skin is masculine and pale skin is feminine to you. just wondering why you always draw butches as predatory masculine darker skinned people grabbing on swooning pale skinned people. just wondering. just wondering!!
“I don’t put politics in my stories” is the literary equivalent of a cishet guy going “I don’t have pronouns”
Interviews with hockey players are fantastic, because it is a complex game that can be spoken about at length, but during the intermission they'll find the Wettest player imaginable on the losing team and for thirty seconds they'll ask them things like "what do you need to do to get more pucks in the net?" And the player (panting, haunted behind the eyes) says something like "well, we've got to get them in there"