Die Laughing Bitch.

rm_f1st('0','220','true','false','000000','89xy7ipigq7','true','007eff'); -------------------------------------- hello fwends

[catseverywhere]

[knownhag]

[jizzhands]

you know that whole “what would you do if a band member sat down next to you on a plane” I think I would blare his band’s music in my headphones to see if he noticed

[halcyconian]

And then casually tap their shoulder and be like, “dude have u heard of this band?”

[pancakessexual]

I just got a wrong number text from a stranger that said: “hey can we use ur pool there’s a moose in ours”

#welcometocanada

I’ve never received such a funny text in my life I can’t breathe

[pancakessexual]

UPDATE: I told them “yes if you send a pic” & they sent me tHIS

[branthonys]

[uhhhhwillow]

[regretorb]

when ur mom comes into ur room and u have to pretend that u are studying quick

[hemingay]

legit

[oomshi]

the bible said adam AND eve so i slept with them both

[animateglee-archived]

Well it’s the Bible, not the Straightble, I’m just following the book.

[marcholasmoth]

I’M GONNA CRY

[bagelbarton]

This is my favourite photo in existence.

[daleyprophet]

Mean Girls meets: Harry Potter (part 26)

[methhomework]

this is my favorite twitter account

[krvsty]

peacocks look like they speak french

[animal-factbook]

During its free time, kangaroos enjoy weight lifting and occasionally you can spot them at body building contests across Australia. 

[squigglewitch]

public school @ the end of the year be like

[sealedbeastnue]

a special message for a very special someone

[marcholasmoth]

hey

you

dont you dare think

for even a second

that nobody saw you

when you decided this waS AN ACCEPTABLE WAY TO PARK YOUR VEHICLE BECAUSE I SAW IT OKAY I FUCKING SAW IT YOUR CRAPPY PARKING JOB IS ON GOOGLE MAPS IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE WORLD

how did you find this

[thestoutorialist]

CONSTANT VIGILANCE

[portgasdace71-deactivated201608]

LITERALLY JUST PASSED BATMAN

[dbriere-deleting-deactivated201]

[oneknightincamelot]

No one’s above the law

Not even Batman

[aurevoir-mes-amis-deactivated20]

I went to a party once and everyone was supposed to pitch in some money to buy adderall. I had never tried or even heard of it but I was young and stupid so I gave them 20 bucks. Later on, after we all took it, everybody was going crazy and having a good time and I was just sitting on the couch quietly so I googled ‘adderall’ on my phone and learned that it’s used to treat ADHD.

I have ADHD.

I paid 20 dollars to calm down.

[lacorgi]

[mattonious]

give em the ol’ razzle dazzle