my current project: may you know death lost already, a Reverse Robins AU
my AO3: LemonCakeDesign
my twitter: LemonCakeStream
fic requests are: open!
Today's Document
RMH
Keni

Andulka
One Nice Bug Per Day
tumblr dot com
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
NASA
Sade Olutola

#extradirty

izzy's playlists!
šŖ¼
Peter Solarz
styofa doing anything
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Cosimo Galluzzi

if i look back, i am lost

romaā
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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@lemoncakedesign
my current project: may you know death lost already, a Reverse Robins AU
my AO3: LemonCakeDesign
my twitter: LemonCakeStream
fic requests are: open!
not doomed by the narrative but saved by the narrative. yeah i know you'd rather die than keep suffering but the story doesn't actually care what you want. you have to keep going, even when it hurts. even being erased from existence won't stop you from being salvaged from the wreckage of un-being. get up. keep pushing. keep bleeding. keep living.
Wow wtf HIV/AIDS was discovered by Flossie Wong-Staal, an Chinese-American woman, and sheās the reason the HIV test even exists. AND THEN she invented the molecular knife that lead to treatments for HIV/AIDS. And sheās STILL ALIVE. We donāt hear about the contributions of Women of Color enough, my word. Madness.
Flossie Wong-Staal - Wikipedia
https://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flossie_Wong-Staal
you can always tell a major breakthrough is made by a woman, a woc or any poc because itās either completely ignored or never credited like it just happened by itself
youll be typing the url of one of your beloved mutuals into the search bar on this app and itll first recommend you a Tumblr Community with 2 people in it called like Nova Scotia Scrap Metal Enthusiasts
when i forget to log into ao3 and i have to click proceed to see an adult fic, i actually get a kick out of it. like i am an old timey queen and my bard is apologetic: āgentle lady, dicks doth touch in this next ballad. would you prefer another?ā and i give him a gesture of command like, ānay, you may proceed, minstrel. bring forth the tale of dicksā
hope itās not too late; I made this in Scriptorium
This was posted on a āsecond hand findsā Facebook pageā¦
ā¦only to be followed by this amazing message.
The roller coaster ride started.
With a happy endingā¦
ā¦and a sweet poem to finish.
hi!! sorry if you've been asked this question before, but as someone who wants to be a lawyer, how do you deal with defending people that morally you really don't agree with? thanks!
I get a lot of versions of this question, and I answer it seriously every time, because itās both important and not important at all. Anyone who asks respectfully gets my whole ass answer.
Itās just not really about that. My job isnāt about defending the idea of hurting someone else. Itās about stopping the state from inflicting further hurt, torture, pain. Itās about pushing back for some fairness against a monumentally stacked system. And itās about stuff thatās normal human stuff that counts as crime for some reason.
Yeah, itās hard to do a sex abuse case. Sometimes the images stick around and it bothers me. But honestly? Mostly those cases have real plausible theories of innocence or theyāre cases that I will lose because the evidence is there, and the question is not whether the perpetrator will go to jail but how long.
Those cases are so rare, though. I get so much pointless bullshit. Felony of a teen taking momās car without permission. Two kids that try to break into a car and get so scared by the alarm that they run away. Trespassing on dadās house because his new girlfriend wants you to stop coming around. Itās just human stuff, and the violence of the state is not necessary or helpful.
I also reject the idea of punishment completely. The state has a responsibility to stop people from hurting other people again. But inflicting pain doesnāt do it, we know this by now. So I argue for mercy and for real solutions to real problems. Iām here to build a future, not get caught up with doing violence to someone because of the past.
So yeah, sometimes itās hard, but mostly my conscience is dead clear: Iām not responsible for the crime. The damage has been done. I want to start the healing process, and I want it for everyone involved. When thatās not possible, I just want to tell the authorities they donāt get to just Do What They Want.
The more I do this job, the more I am a genuine pacifist who is against violence in all forms, and actually I donāt see a contradiction between that and what I do for a living. State violence is a pervasive evil that tears apart families, communities, and countries, and itās far more damaging and awful than any individual crime. The average prosecutor has more blood on their hands than a serial killer, but itās invisible: people who died in jail, who froze to death on the street, who were shot in a drug deal. Their violence begets violence.
When I get blood on my hands, itās because I put my hands over the wounds and try to stop the flow. Iām okay with it.
Also: people donāt ask doctors how they can stand to treat bad people. Why ask me?
#i find people have such an inherent misunderstanding of the roles of defense attorneys (understandably but still)#in that most people i talk to seem to be envisioning me personally defending the right of people to commit crimes or that like. Crime Is#Good Actually#āyeah this person did X but they should never face any consequences ever please and thank you judgeā#(and people think this would WORK??? a different tangent on a lack of legal education and cop shows being awful etc)#meanwhile i am simply protecting peopleās rights. yes even those peopleās#idk i could write my own post but op Gets It and also a prosecutor just filed the DUMBEST motion ive ever seen and i need to respond to that#instead lmao (via @anixit26)
The number of people who respond to my post about how even the guiltiest person in the world deserves rights with "but not [crime I think makes you undeserving of rights]!" is truly insane. People really truly think that being accused of a crime makes you irredeemably evil and protecting the rights of those accused means you are also evil.
The “criminal justice reform” movement is in danger. Efforts to change the punishment bureaucracy are at risk of being co-opted
excerpts from erin in the morning's article on the ioc's ban on transgender women and sex testing policy
Strange racists and homophobes on the internet seem to have access to an alternate way cooler version of TV than me. "every white character on TV is in an interracial relationship" "every show has a gay couple in it" "main characters keep having to secretly be bisexual and nonbinary" "every show has gratuitous full frontal nudity" like damn promise?? What channel???
as a black gay person real like where y'all be finding this stuff pass the name
for real though, those DO NOT WATCH OR YOU'LL CORRUPT YOUR CHILDREN lists put out by conservative christian family groups is where I find all the stellar tv shows. Like, shit I didn't know half of those existed, thanks for finding them for me, gonna go watch 30 hours of gay tv now!
I think I know how this works.
For personal context, before I went to the '98 Burning Man festival, one of the things I'd read from a couple different journalists was that "everybody" runs around naked. Which, fine by me, I'd already spent a lot of time in clothing-optional spaces, I'm not fanatic about it but it's nice.
So I got there early and set up a public shade structure on one of Black Rock City's main roads and spent most of each afternoon just watching the crowds go by. I don't remember seeing more than one actually naked person the whole week. I think a topless woman passed by my intersection maybe every half an hour, sometimes once an hour. So why in the hell were people, normally pretty smart and observant writers, coming away with the impression that everybody was naked?
Then I remembered an unrelated passage from Joel Garreau's great book about the history of the outer-ring suburbs, Edge City. Mall developers told him flat-out that they tried to keep the crowds in their malls less than 5% black. Not because they themselves were racist, but because they had determined, experimentally, that if more than 5% of the people in the mall are black, the median white shopper will wrongly describe the mall as at least half black, as mostly black. And not a few of them would describe it, at 6% black, as a mall where "only black people go." Why?
Because, emotionally, they were still upset over the last one when the next one came into view.
Same as the journalists describing Black Rock City as all naked. Same as the right-wing religious culture warriors describing television as entirely mixed-race and gender non-conforming. Not because it's even vaguely true, we know that, but because they haven't gotten over their discomfort over the last one by the time the next one comes along. The anger, not the stimulus, is the part that's continuous, so their mind lies to them that it's "all" the thing they can't get over.
Similar effect for the presence/proportion of women in things, by the way: https://health.howstuffworks.com/mental-health/human-nature/perception/how-17-equals-496-the-amazing-multiplying-women.htm
Whatās the solution then? Or if thereās no solution, should we make things even queerer and more diverse?
Realizing that I am not employing enough of my free will to become a nuisance at work
Me watching this:
Iām not letting this rot in the tags
Heavenly Delusion, ch. 60
There's a bunch of adhd advice out there that's like "people with adhd tend to work better under deadlines due to the anxiety so here are ways to artificially induce a stress response in order to get you to get work done" and it's like well what if I don't want to be stressed out all the time in order to function
this gold shouldn't stay in the comments
hey loves, Iāve been reading through the comments and loads of people are asking how to not fall into this pattern because thatās all they know. so, hereās some advice from Auntie Pan whoās been in the trenches (stress-caused disabilities and chronic illnesses).
context: grew up in an abusive, controlling home, escaped to uni, had a prolonged mental breakdown, became a teacher and worked in a dysfunctional school with amazing kids and nightmare management for years. I did not realise I have adhd and autism for a long time. (You might even be able to scroll back through this blog to find the time around which I did realise lol.)
ANYWAY, things that have helped me because my body can no longer handle any kind of stress without flaring up:
If youāre doing anything that requires you to do a lot of prep before you begin the actual thing (e.g. cooking, deep cleaning a room, moving house), mise en place. Thatās a fancy french way of saying get everything ready before you begin. So if Iām cooking idk spaghetti carbonara, that means fry and chop the bacon, separate the egg yolks from the whites, put water in the kettle, put dry spaghetti into a pan. Once everythingās ready, it reduces the mental load and means I can focus on the actual cooking and any clean up that I can do along the way. H/t to @ms-demeanor for this, you changed my life!
the Might As Well rule. This one works really well for me but you gotta be careful otherwise youāll get sucked into the Vortex. Basically, letās imagine youāre in the bathroom, brushing your teeth. You notice that the extra roll of toilet paper has been used. instead of thinking, āIāll get to that laterā, and then forgetting about it until you sit down on the bog (no judgement, weāve all been there), you think āMight As Well put an extra roll while Iām here!ā This tends to help with the little tasks that build up over time. This Does Not Work for big tasks.
Leading on from no.2, Do It Immediately/ASAP really helps me too. My current boss will email me on a Friday and say, ādonāt reply to this now! Leave it til monday!ā But she and i both know that if i leave it til monday, I will forget and get stressed and this will make me Very Ill. So, instead, the moment i receive the email, Iāll either schedule in replying to it as soon as Iām done with my current thing, OR Iāll reply to it immediately.
Anything that canāt be actioned immediately, i mark as Unread. Anything Unread in my inbox is a future action, and i check those Unread emails/texts/whatevers Every. Day. To make sure whether today is the day i have the info to action it. (This also means i have to stay on top of my inbox. I read all my emails and then mark them accordingly. Iām also brutal with unsubscribing)
The House Always Wins. Both in a literal sense, because i am in a constant battle with keeping my house clean, and i know now that Iāll never get it as clean as i want it. Itās impossible, i no longer have the energy or stamina to vacuum and scrub everything. But also just in a life sense. Iām never going to achieve things to perfection, and perfect is the opposite of done. And getting things done is that much more important when you have limited energy and strength. Accept that you often have to half-arse life in order to Full-Arse the few things that really matter to you.
Have multiples of everything, everywhere. I wear support gloves, so i need to have handcream at every sink and everywhere i sit down in the house. I try to keep it unobtrusive, but it means i donāt have to trek upstairs just to moisturise my hands. Gum, phone chargers, pens and pencils, water bottles, hand sanitizer, whatever you need.
Work with people, even if itās online. Body doubling actually works. Also Iāve found that if Iām working on assignments, taking myself to a library or study area that isnāt my bedroom helps so much.
Show off! Tell people on here or elsewhere in your life about the fact that youāve just written 100 words! Or that youāve cleaned the fridge and thatās a really big deal for you. Celebrate your wins, no matter how small.
Basically, youāre aiming to reduce the mental load as much as possible. Wear the same types of clothes all the time to minimise the amount of laundry. Eat the same three lunches so decision fatigue doesnāt take over.
All of this takes time to implement and it is cumulative, but i hope it helps. Reading the comments on this post, i finally understand why adhd is comorbid with so many other conditions. letās take care of each other <3
I'm so glad to hear that helped you!
For anybody looking for resources from someone dealing with actual ADHD, I have an incomplete but ever growing list of ADHD tips, tools, and suggestions on my website.
A lot of the pages on that site are adapted from my tumblr posts, for instance I'm adapting this post about car repair projects with ADHD into a guide on project management and completion with ADHD.
(Red links are stuff that I've got planned but haven't published for reasons that are probably clear to anyone looking for ADHD advice online)