“If you don’t think I don’t have good enough criteria to know who tf I’m dating, then I’ll laugh even harder.”
This is exactly why so many of us are frustrated with feminists who date men. Because you have this idea that you hold some special knowledge to find a Good Man™️, implying that women who end up with abusive and dangerous men just aren’t as smart as you are.
How can you assure a woman who’s experienced domestic abuse that it wasn’t her fault, because no woman can ever predict if a man will end up being abusive…but then turn around and say “well I have good criteria for the men I date, so I’ll be fine”. Did she not have good enough criteria? Was she too stupid to see red flags? Is she just “hypersexualised and will date any loser” as you said in your post? But you’re better than her, you’ll make a good choice. You’ll find the nicest guy ever who’s super duper feminist and will never lay a hand on you. All those women who ended up unlucky just didn’t have your superior abuse screening skills.
Also, if you think that 4B is about getting women to “give up their love life for literally no reason at all”, you don’t understand the 4B movement and haven’t been listening to feminists. There’s many reasons feminists give for 4B, including but not limited to: there’s really no “love life” to be had in the first place because men are misogynistic, you can never know what man will make you breakfast in bed vs which man will kill you in a fit of rage, you can never know for sure which men are laughing at their friend’s rape jokes or simply staying quiet, and men have spent thousands of years treating women like domestic servants and have not yet unlearned this so a truly equal heterosexual relationship free of this power dynamic is nearly impossible.
It’s not just “boys have cooties”. It’s “men are dangerous to women, and get even more dangerous when they’re romantically/sexually partnered with women. Women and girls should, as a class, refrain from putting themselves in dangerous relationships with them until they—men and boys—work together as a class to stop being a danger to women and girls”.
I agree with you though that feminists shouldn’t just shut het partnered women out, and should be welcoming women from all walks of life. However I do understand the frustration many feminists have with women who claim to support radical feminism but can’t grasp the basic concept of “yes all men” because their Jakey is special.