Not So "Lowered Expectations"

An in-depth look at what's on my mind

[lemontmarshall]

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Pulled out the drone and grabbed some footage of the Lakefront in Milwaukee over the weekend. #NoPlaceLikeHome #Milwaukee #IMissTheLake #CantWaitToGoBack #MAM (at Milwaukee, Wisconsin)

[lemontmarshall]

Then What...

When we all were in elementary school we had the portion of english when we discussed cause and effect. Cause you did this, effect, this happened. I think as an adult we should ask ourselves the question, then what? Take a few minutes and think about some situations in life that had you thought more about the consequences on the front end you wouldn't have had to endure so much pain on the back end. From the time you spent too much on that outfit and it caused you to be short on a utility bill which subsequently got disconnected and ending up costing you more money than you originally intended. To having sex with someone you shouldn't have and it put you through more pain than the sex was ever worth. We should not question every decision but with every decision ask ourselves the question; If I do this... Then What?

[lemontmarshall]

Before I knew... I knew

I’m getting married soon, and the experience has been almost surreal. The woman that I am marrying is not just someone that I ran into while shopping at the neighborhood grocery store. 

She been around me for more than 5 years and I’ve noticed her, but one day (the first or second Sunday in February of 2014) i saw her differently... and at that moment I knew. I knew that I didn’t know her, I knew that she didn’t know me, but for some reason I knew that she would be my wife.

I waited a year before asking her out, but still, I knew. I knew that she was exactly what I wanted. I knew that she was exactly what I needed.  Not just for me, but also for my children. I knew that she was the mother that they needed, the balance for me to keep me striving for greatness.

Even before I knew her name, I knew 

I Love You Sweetheart!

[lemontmarshall]

She's Perfect for Me!

I've always thought of the woman that would make me say "She's Perfect for Me" 

it's often been, well she's cute but..., or she has a lot going for her but..., or even I really like her but... I've trusted God to show me the one woman that would fit into my life like that missing piece to my complicated puzzle.

When you were a kid have you ever been putting together a jigsaw puzzle and came across a piece that looked like it fit but it was just slightly off so it didn't quite fit perfectly? initially you try to force that piece in there, but then you realize that this isn't the right piece, because it sticks out, or just isn’t the right fit. I've been in a few relationships that were like that. Stop trying to force the wrong pieces in places that they don't belong. You know when it's right, you don’t have to force it, it just fits. 

As a single dad, who owns a company, volunteers at church, and participates in a host of other activities I need(ed) someone that can keep up and/or match my lifestyle. I also realized through dating that I didn't just want someone that fit into my life, I also wanted someone that I could see myself fitting into her life and our lives merging together.

So I dream(ed) of the day that I would say not only that “She’s Perfect for Me”, but “We’re Perfect for Each Other” and I would have no problem telling the entire world!!!

That woman has come, therefore the time is near...

[lemontmarshall]

From a Nightmare to a Dream...

A few years ago, while having a pretty rough nightmare, in the midst of the nightmare I changed it. Yes you heard right, while having a horrible nightmare I changed the outcome. From that day forward I’ve never allowed a nightmare to stay a nightmare. 

Sometimes in life we go through periods where it seems like we’re in a never ending nightmare. Once you learn that you have the power to change your life from a horrible nightmare into something totally different your situation will begin to change. 

While I was having the nightmare, I simply thought “I wish I could______” and it happened! Then I tried again something different to take even more control of the situation, and then it happened too. I woke up with the epiphany that I had just taken control of my dream and I would no longer allow a bad dream to control my thoughts or actions.

That’s what we have to do in life. The first step to taking control of your nightmare is to first realize that you’re having a nightmare. That what you think is happening is not really happening, it’s just your current situation. Then you have to think about what you’re going to do to change the outcome.

Changing the outcome doesn’t mean that you go from hell to paradise but more like going from getting jumped in a back alley to beating up every thug around and escaping the situation feeling like Superman, maybe even flying away from the scene. It can happen, you're dreaming...

Have you ever been in a horrible relationship and thinking that this is all there is for your life? Changing the outcome in this may be simple as changing your behavior in a current relationship, or moving on from that relationship altogether and moving on to someone who loves and appreciates you right where you are, and you two can grow together. 

The moral is you don’t have to live life allowing it to control your thoughts, and actions. You have the power to change your situation “From a Nightmare to a Dream”

[lemontmarshall]

It takes 2, but it's up to you!

You can't expect a realtionship to work if you're not doing your part to make it work. Take the initiative to help it work, be thoughtful, be considerate, be willing. It takes 2, do your part!

[lemontmarshall]

I'm still figuring things out...

Here’s the truth, I don’t have all of the answers, I use things that I’ve learned along the way to make judgement calls. Yet, even with the experiences I still don’t have all of the answers. I’m still figuring things out myself. 

Some of my biggest insecurities impede my personal, and professional progress. We all have something that we’re insecure about. I am working on some ways to fight my insecurities. 

Sometimes I feel like if it’s not a a for sure yes, don’t try. This is an area that I have to get better with in a pretty short order of time if I plan to continue to run my business and find a wife. I don’t like when someone tells me no. It’s like this make sense why are you saying no? 

I will continue to pray and work on challenging myself in this area, I have to…

[lemontmarshall]

My late night/early morning #MusicTherapy setup. #iPad #MarshallHeadphones

[lemontmarshall]

When's it gonna be my turn...

Singles, more specific singles that are longing for that relationship that they've always dreamed of. The feeling of being wanted by someone of the opposite sex. Not just anyone, that one person that just gets YOU! That person understands you, accepts your faults, and encourages you during those tough times, someone to be there for you, to lay with you, to talk to you, to listen to all of your problems. The person that you can trust with the other people that mean the most to you; your kids and/or your family. That person that knows when, where, and just how to touch you physically, mentally, and spiritually. That person that seems like they were made just for you. The person that's giving, comforting, and understanding. The person that you can pray with, lay with, and play with. That person that you wake up next to and say to yourself I Love him/her.

It seems like we look, look, and look some more but that person often eludes us. We look at other people, people you see and say "How did he/she get a husband/wife, and I'm still out here struggling and single?" 

I don't have the answer because I too am in a similar situation. On top of being a single man, I am also a single Dad raising 3 small children. I look at "the checklist" and say wow, "what am I doing wrong?" "When's it gonna be my turn?" I don't know...

All i can do is keep looking, and keep believing that one day it will come. 

[lemontmarshall]

What I want in a Wife

Rather than write about all of the things that have ruined past relationships. I have decided to write an the things that I desire in the woman that I will soon marry.

I want a woman that’s honest and faithful. Someone that’s integral, attractive, and has character.

I want a woman that loves children, and doesn’t mind having one more if that’s what we decide.

I want a woman that is committed to God and family as I am committed to God, her, and our family.

Someone that’s a hard worker. Someone with a great attitude and loves to smile, as much as I would love to make her smile.

I want someone that doesn’t not let her attitude control her but rather a woman that can control her attitude.

[lemontmarshall]

I Dare You to be Atypical

So often now people are doing what others around them are doing, doing, what's trending, what's popular, or what's in! I dare you to be atypical. Stop doing what everyone else is doing. Doing what everyone else is doing doesn't guarantee you the same results, good or bad.

When I was 15/16 I wanted a job, I had been out looking, but wasn't having good results. Lucky for me we had a job fair coming up at school. I said here was my opportunity to get something so I dared to be different. They gave everyone resume´ tips and told us all to use heavy weight white paper only! I had plenty of white paper and but I since I knew everyone would be using that I took a risk, a big risk! I used blue paper, and I did it knowing one of 2 things would happen, that they would either look at it and throw it away or it would stand out so much that they just might give me a call.

So after a few months and no call backs I finally got a call from a bank asking if I was still looking for a job, that's right a bank! Not a fast food restaurant, not a local supermarket, but a bank! I'm not putting down anyone who's first job was at one of those places, but even to interview at bank was an accomplishment coming from my part of town and being a young black male.

So, when the lady called she said that my resume´ stood out and she wanted me to come in to take a test then possibly an interview. I couldn't believe it, the risk that I took actually actually paid off.

So I took a 2 part test and let's just say I aced it and got an initial interview right there. Then I was scheduled for a 2nd interview at the branch where I would be working. At the test I was dressed for success nice shirt/tie, dress shoes, very professional. On the 2nd interview same treatment. When I got to the branch they were in process of finding a new branch manger so I had to meet with the regional manager who during my tenure became a VP of the bank. So she had a number of questions and I was prepared. The interview went so well she was literally clapping (her hands) at my responses during the interview. Long story short, I got the the job and worked there for more than 2 years and even eventually went on to work for the bank's computer department.

The moral of the story is had I come in there with street clothes, a defeated attitude, and acted like those around me in my neighborhood I would have never got the job, much less stayed for more than 2 years. To be a 16 year old black male from one of the worst neighborhood's in the city, it took me being honest, integral, and having good work ethic to sustain for so long. I never stole or even thought of stealing a single penny. i was always fast, efficient, and loved meeting the customers. I went on to start my own company and wouldn't trade what I do for anything.  So "I dare you to be Atypical" and see where it gets you! 

[lemontmarshall]

How Bad Do You Want It?

When you're growing up or even now have you ever found yourself saying "I want _______ so bad..." Well I will ask the question, "How Bad Do You Want It?" In our current society we're almost trained to believe that things should happen instantly. We get phones calls nearly anywhere in the world at any time. We can access information about nearly anything within a moment's notice, and the list goes on. Even with the growing list of things that can happen "Now" there are still some things that take time. This list includes getting through school, building a career, getting married and building a family. So when it comes to achieving a goal that isn't something that can happen instantly, you will need to make some sacrifices in order to get to where you would like to be. If you're willing to sacrifice time, social gatherings, and a host of other things that may not be directly in line with your goal. You're more likely to achieve that goal. People often want the result of the sacrifice without the sacrifice, but it takes commitment. Staying committed to your dreams and taking the proper steps to get there doesn't guarantee that everything will just fall in place it does put you in the proper position for things to go your way! So when you say I Want ______ ask yourself "How Bad Do I Want It?"

[lemontmarshall]

A Look Inside

I just wanted to give everyone a tiny look inside of what I'm thinking while I'm writing. Generally, when I write, I tend to generalize my thoughts. I may have something that triggered my thoughts into writing what I wrote but it's usually one thing that got the train rolling. I am a somewhat private person and don't speak using specifics when I write. I also can take what I'm thinking and make it applicable to many situations and/or circumstances. When I write something I always know what I was thinking about at the time because I'll leave myself clues in the post, but to the average reader you may ask "What is he talking about?" Don't think too hard and you can probably apply it to a situation that you're going through, have been through, or may even be coming into. So there it is, a tiny Look Inside.

[lemontmarshall]

Stay in your place!

When you were a child did an adult ever tell you to "stay in a child's place"? it happened to me several times. Now that I'm an adult I find myself wanting to tell older people (very respectfully) to stay in their place. 

There are just certain things that they don't comprehend or get. Things have changed as it relates to technology and they tend to find themselves lost in a more technological world. 

They say things like I watch Facebook, or I know how to "Twit". That's when I want to say "stay in an old person's place!"

[lemontmarshall]

Y'all look good together

Has anyone ever seen you and someone that you were dating at the time or maybe even considering as someone that you would date and said “Y’all look good together”? 

For most people that has happened at some point. Just because I look good standing next to someone doesn’t make us any more compatible than  an all you can eat buffet and diet soda. Yeah it looks like it make sense but there’s no balance.

It’s often said that men are attracted by what they see and women  are attracted by how they feel…. I’m not completely sold on that. I see people that are in relationships solely based on how well someone is dressed, the color of their skin, their “grade of hair”, or the car they drive.

There’s much more to building a relationship aside from those things. Me personally, I would take a person that someone says is a “6” but has a great personality, and beautiful sprit, over  that “dime” that has no morals, low self-esteem, and a horrible attitude. Cute only lasts for so long, and only allows you to make it so far. Someone that loves people and has a great attitude has no limits. Now if you can find someone that has both, that’s a bonus, they’re out there but are in short supply!

So the next time someone says “Y’all look good together” make sure there’s more to it than that.

[lemontmarshall]

"if it were a snake, it would have bit you!"

Have you ever heard the term “if it were a snake it would have bit you”? That’s a term that my mom used often when she sent us to look for something and we overlooked it as if was not even there.

I sometimes find myself doing that as an adult. Not with looking for a sock or shoe but more commonly with business relationships, personal relationships, or even as a parent trying to find different ways to interact with the children.

We may overlook the right thing looking at the wrong thing because the wrong thing distracts us from seeing what we were looking for the whole time.

If you don’t see what you’re looking for at first glance, look a little harder and it was probably right there all along as a matter of fact “if it were a snake it would have bit you!”

[lemontmarshall]

Before you press "Post"

We all sit down to our computers and/or take out our smartphones or tablets to post what we just seen, have saw, or even what we’re thinking about. Most of what we post is somewhat harmless and may have no adverse effect on what we are doing, have done, or will be doing in the near future.

But then, there are those emotional or controversial posts that gets everyone’s attention and makes some comment, some unfriend/unfollow, or look at you sideways the next time they see you. You’re left standing there wondering why everyone’s looking at you funny?

It’s because you didn’t consider everyone that would see your post that may have been traumatic, irrational, or completely crazy! So next time if you don’t want the weird looks or why your followers are down 83 people. Think about how that will be perceived before you press “Post”