Lena Scaldi

college girl in Gotham professional idiot let’s see how long I survive before getting killed

[holyfuckitsgoontime]

UGHHH i'm quitting dating. Met a guy on tinder, and we hit it off.

Today I found out he was texting me FROM ARKHAM. HES A FUCKING C LISTER WHO GOT CAUGHT 😭

[qcomicsy]

[lena-scaldi]

not me holding a "You Go Girl! Save The Planet!" sign (of recycled cardboard) from afar while Poison Ivy is destroying a whole factory on her own like the girl boss she is

[lena-scaldi]

I knew when I got my apartment that the cheap rent was due to something, I just didn't expect every fight in the district to happen right under my window

like yay free entertainment but

they so damn loud I think I'm gonna invest in a set of ear-plugs to finally sleep in peace

cause I've blacked out for the fourth time today at school

[lena-scaldi]

learning all the riddles in every riddle book I find

just in case

[lena-scaldi]

my bff is losing her mind cause i “keep creeping up behind her”

BUT I DON’T DO IT ON PURPOSE

she can’t understand she has good cardio

but in a city where your best chance of survival is run and/or hide

if like me you can’t run three yards without having your lungs on the verge of death

then you develop stealth

so sorry maya but i’m a stealthy bitch it’s a direct result of my incredible survival instincts

[lena-scaldi]

guess who just got a job as a get away driver

i actually can’t drive but don’t tell them that i need the money

[lena-scaldi]

I crashed the car.

[gothamstreetrat]

Is Manbat Batman and a bats child?

[lena-scaldi]

I mean, Harley Quinn DID say he fucked bats

The existence of Manbat just seems like more proof to me

[totally-not-the-dynamic-duo]

Everyday some weirdo with nothing but spandex and a dream declares themself “Ruler of Gotham” 🤨 First of all, colonizer,

- R

[lena-scaldi]

guess who just got a job as a get away driver

i actually can’t drive but don’t tell them that i need the money

[lena-scaldi]

we’re the 2/22/2022 it’s the second day of the week of the second month of the year

why do I feel like two-face is up to something

[lena-scaldi]

I saw two kids in halloween costumes, one was superman and one was batman

they were arguing over who was the most powerful

the superman kid said something along the lines "batman can't even fly he can't beat superman" and the batman kid punched him took his candy and ran away disappearing in an alley

not sure the stealing candy is part of the batman motto, but at least he got the whole anger issues right

besides the superman kid didn't manage to get his candy back so I guess the smol bat did make a point

[lena-scaldi]

I need the villains to drop where they buy their eyeliner

cause like bitch how does your make up stays flawless after getting your ass beaten up by the bat???

I got into a fight yesterday cause some dude took the last croissant of the bakery when I clearly saw it before him and let me tell you after that my face was A MESS (still in better shape than his but still)

so no more secrets people, spill the tea

also side note i just got a text from my bff and it apparently made the news???

[florence-wayne-official]

I make the eyeliner :)

[kit-the-nonbinary-wayne]

Flo makes the eyeliner. Pre-Flo's eyeliner we used sharpies and stage makeup with a crap-ton of setting spray.

Ever need help with eyeliner ask Riddler or Ivy. Eyeshadow ask Harley. Everything else ask Catwoman, Batman or Penguin.

[lena-scaldi]

thanks so much you guys are lifesavers 🙏🙏🙏

[florence-wayne-official]

I can drop my brand makeup off for you if you want? I’ll be in the states next week.

[lena-scaldi]

omg YES please that would be super great

[lena-scaldi]

you know

people say Gotham is the worst city in the world crime-speaking

and like that's true but

it's not like we can get rid of our villains

we don't want to get rid of our villains

they're part of our ecosystem

you don't get rid of trees in a forest, what's a forest without trees

what's Gotham without its villains

okay yeah technically humans have been known for destroying forest and trees but you know what I meant

[lena-scaldi]

I need the villains to drop where they buy their eyeliner

cause like bitch how does your make up stays flawless after getting your ass beaten up by the bat???

I got into a fight yesterday cause some dude took the last croissant of the bakery when I clearly saw it before him and let me tell you after that my face was A MESS (still in better shape than his but still)

so no more secrets people, spill the tea

also side note i just got a text from my bff and it apparently made the news???

[florence-wayne-official]

I make the eyeliner :)

[kit-the-nonbinary-wayne]

Flo makes the eyeliner. Pre-Flo's eyeliner we used sharpies and stage makeup with a crap-ton of setting spray.

Ever need help with eyeliner ask Riddler or Ivy. Eyeshadow ask Harley. Everything else ask Catwoman, Batman or Penguin.

[lena-scaldi]

thanks so much you guys are lifesavers 🙏🙏🙏

[lena-scaldi]

I need the villains to drop where they buy their eyeliner

cause like bitch how does your make up stays flawless after getting your ass beaten up by the bat???

I got into a fight yesterday cause some dude took the last croissant of the bakery when I clearly saw it before him and let me tell you after that my face was A MESS (still in better shape than his but still)

so no more secrets people, spill the tea

also side note i just got a text from my bff and it apparently made the news???

[gothams-gone-rouge]

IM GONNA FUCKING SAY IT

Bruce Wayne is better than Tony Stark and you cannot change my mind

[lena-scaldi]

well DUH