#gothamite

[robs-your-robins]

Some investigative journalist from, I don't know, Central or Star City, comes to Gotham with the theory that Batman is funded by Wayne Enterprises as a way for billionaire Bruce Wayne to save face. Dr Jonathan Crane, his former therapist turned dangerous criminal? His former friend, DA Harvey Dent, turned criminal mastermind? Victor Fries, former employee, turned rogue? Oswald Cobblepot, AKA the Penguin, the owner of the nightclub that Bruce is often seen stumbling out of too drunk for his own good? Lex Luthor, social equal and occasional business rival? Taken down and imprisoned by the Bat on numerous occasions. The Bat is clearly paid muscle paid by or on behalf of Bruce Wayne to protect his reputation. This journalist starts asking questions but they don't exactly get the desired response.

Journalist: Batman is clearly in the employ of Bruce Wayne, who is clearly funding him-

Gothamite: Yeah, no shit.

Journalist:

Gothamite: What? You think we didn't know?

Journalist: But-

Gothamite: Bat might as well have Bruce Wayne's name on that spandex covering his ass.

[messybrain]

Gothamite 1: The streets aren't safe after dark.

Gothamite 2: They're not particularly safe before dark either.

[emo-batboy]

A Wild Battinson OUTTAKES Pt 3

(For the real AU, here’s the Masterlist)

(Outtakes Pt 1 & Pt 2)

Hi everyone! So here’s a bunch of the stuff I was considering posting near the holiday season last year. (Holy shit, that was 8 months ago.) As always, these outtakes are NOT canon. These posts were topical at the time, but I then decided that handling these subject matters in my tumbler social media alternate universe was probably not the place to do it, it would throw off the general vibe, and I was not equipped to write it in a thorough and respectful manner so I dropped it. The Christmas stuff was fun tho! Nonetheless, these are some highlights I really enjoyed :)

[a-reyy]

Gothamite Billy Batson… But not the way you’d expect it.

—————

After a Justice League meeting:

Flash: Did you see tonight’s match up?

Superman: You mean the football game? Who is it?

Flash: The Fawcett Tigers vs the Gotham Knights!

Green Lantern: What?! Sparky vs Spooky! That’s just excellent!

Flash: I know!

Captain Marvel: What’s funny about that?

Flash: Well, in a way, it’s like you and Batman got in a fight. Not really. You get the idea.

Captain Marvel: No, not really. I’m not even rooting for the Tigers actually.

Superman: You’re not? But it’s your city!

Captain Marvel: I don’t actually live there. I just do my hero work in Fawcett since I started there. I would feel bad to take Captain Marvel away from the city when they need it so much.

Wonder Woman: Huh. Still, why won’t you root for Fawcett city instead?

Captain Marvel:... I moved to Gotham a year after starting my hero work.

Wonder Woman: Really?

Green Lantern: What?! The brightest and Happiest hero is a Gothamite!? You live in Gotham?! And Batman lets you?!

Captain Marvel: I never interfere with his business and I never use my powers in Gotham. Plus, he never told me I couldn’t live there.

Batman in the corner: You are aware that I don’t know your secret identity, right?

Captain Marvel:… That actually explains a few things.

Batman: Explains what?

Captain Marvel: We ran into each other a few times… Maybe abit more than a few times.

—————

+my masterlist for more

—————

[eros-telesse]

Damian : Wayne.

Jon : Kent.

Damian : Wayne!

Jon : Kent!

Damian : WAYNE!

Jon : KENT!

*More yelling in the distance.*

Aaron : What are they doing?

Colin : They're deciding whose last name they're going to take at their wedding.

Aaron : OH-

Colin : Yeah.

Aaron : What about taking both and using a hyphen?

Damian & Jon :

Jon : That's a good idea!

Damian : It is a good idea.

Colin : Hallelujah! Thank you Aaron.

Damian : We will be called Damian and Jon Kent-Wayne.

Jon : What? No. We will be called Jon and Damian Wayne-Kent!

Damian : Kent-Wayne.

Jon : Wayne-Kent!

Damian : KENT-WAYNE!

Jon : WAYNE-KENT!

Colin : I'm getting out of here. Want to grab a bite Aaron?

Aaron : Sure!

*They leave while Jon and Damian still shout at each other.*

[accidentallyadoptedbybatman]

I would like to admit a formal apology for not adding an 'All' option on my Who's Batman Getting Laid With pole.

I forgot that his brooding does not prevent him from being a slut

[haydenthewitch]

imagine superbat but as a square though.

superman + batman: seen fighting together when it comes to big international or intergalactic battles and stuff. once spotted eating together on a roof in like new York or something. so many moodboards made about it. the twitter jokes are insane that week (my dream date jokes. mama i papa jokes. calling gothimites and Metropltians step siblings. talking about a third superhero being the babysitter on date nights, ect.)

Clark Kent + Bruce Wayne: Spotted together at fancy events. Bruce always gives Clark "the exclusive" and always singles him out as the first reporter to talk to. Brucie wane flirts HARD with the Smallville, us reporter never NOT making him blush red like a tomato. Instant cult classic for the Bruce wane Stan twitter accounts. so much "omg Clark how does it feel to live MY DREAM" material. pepole joking that journalism is booming becuse of the Bruce Wane/ Clark Kent shipping. and of course rpf discourse outlines the whole thing (like it always does) becuse like. pepole keep showing up outside of the daily planet offices trying to hand Clark wayyyyyyy too NSFW artwork of him and bruce in the middle of the day. and bruce has to shut down his public email account (his BUSINESS ACCOUNT) becuse if the ammount if ao3 and tumblr links being sent to him

Batman + Clark Kent: at one point Clark gets held hostage at like a bank robbery or something as CLARK KENT and he can't manage to slip away to go become superman and so he's kinda just stuck watching it go down and even though they're in metropolis, they are like 0.1 miles from Gotham and so batman (begrudgingly) shows up to stop the bank robbery after like. 2 hours when it's clear superman isn't showing up. and after he's taken care of the crooks, batman is photographed talking to/standing realy close to Clark Kent! maybe batman even has like, his hand on Clark's shoulder or something. and INSTANTLY the internet bursts into flame, the photo going viral over and over again. pepole are joking about superman getting jealous of Clark kent becuse batman is HIS MAN, pepole joking about Clark cheating on Bruce Wane with batman, oh my god the shipping discourse. one tweet goes viral and it says something like "born to be held by batman and bruce wane in the same lifetime, forced to live in virgina instead of gotham" and pepole EAT THAT SHIT UP. oh my god the shear ammount of Pinterest boards and tumblr collages with that one photo in it.

Superman + Bruce Wayne: Superman makes a surprise appearance at one of brucie's charity events that's being live streamed and stops some criminals who are about to try and like. shoot up the event or something. And so bruce invites him up on the stage, and starts flirting seamlessly (becuse of course he does) and at one point he says something that makes superman throw his head back and LAUGH. and then the entirety of the gala is laughing and bruce says something like "Oh, wait till twitter sees this!!" and bats his eyelashes. boom. mega-viral molment. pepole all over the bruce wane stan accounts starts posting that one spongebob gif where he's burning everything in panic (you know the one). of course, waves of RPF fanfiction is coming in waves. pepole start shipping batman/superman/Clark kent/ bruce wane in one big harem at this point, the tag is trending EVERYWHERE. pepole are going NUTS about it.

Bonus: One Gothamite twitter user tweets "You know maybe Clark Kent isn't cheating on Bruce with batman. maybe bruce IS batman" as like. you know, a JOKE. it's taken down within thirty seconds of the post being up (becuse of course bruce has systems scaning the internet for that sort of thing) and nobody will ever belive them, but that one Gotham city twitter user KNOWS that bruce is batman and trying to hide it LMAOOO

(Part two) (Part three)(Part four)