Jack_Lantern

Gothamite | like Robin but for the rouges | Eat shit Joker | They/them | Feel free to ask me stuff

[zerozerozio]

bring back tumblr ask culture let me. bother you with questions and statements

[boimann]

reblog to let people know it's ok to bother you with questions and statements

[sweethotspot]

Sometimes, we're just low quality Batfam

[hannrum]

[broosepayne]

if you see the invasive Bat crawling into your home, it's best to just let him crawl around on the ceiling for a bit. he's usually harmless and he will see himself out after a few minutes. if he persists, spray him with warm water and he will scuttle away out the window.

[papayafromtv]

whenever Bruce pisses Dick off during a case as Nightwing and Batman, Dick just goes and changes into his civilian work uniform so that he can pull out a gun in front of Batman and Batman can’t say shit. Jason finds it hysterical.

Batman: we don’t use guns.

Officer Grayson, cocking a pistol: i dunno who the fuck *we* is, but i sure as hell ain’t a part of it

Batman:

Red Hood, watching from a rooftop: *distant cackles*

Batman: *sigh* Dick-

Officer Grayson, raising his voice over the sound of him shooting at the ground near their opponents: OH I’M SORRY, HAVE WE MET BEFORE?

Batman: -I TOLD YOU I DIDN’T KNOW THE ICE-CREAM WAS YOURS, OK I’M SORRY-

Officer Grayson: I’M AFRAID I CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF ME BRINGING THE PEACE-

Batman: YOU JUST SHOT AT ME-

Red Hood: *filming* GET HIM, OFFICER!

Batman, ducking away from Dick’s shots: RED HOOD GO AWAY-

[causeimanartist]

Gothamite voice: At least our billionaire isn't a super villain

[basalting]

someone posts a blurry photo of batman with robin captioned 'lets fight crime with mama' and bruce has to pretend it didnt make him cry

[mama-imscared]

Something like this? :)

[amorkuku]

Updated My bat-family fan designs for my imaginary animated show ! ! 🧍🧍🧍

Ages shown are not meant to be accurate to canon = ]! ! !

[yzur02]

Superman is asked in an interview if he walks around without his costume in the streets, he says yes, that he has perfected the way to disguise has a regular human, they ask for an example of one of his costumes so he grabs a black jacket and puts it on before slouching, warping himself in his cape and using his fingers to make little ears*

Superman (in grave voice): "I'm the night. *stretching the i* people think I live in the shadows, but I'M the shadows. I'm Batman *this continues for a couple of minutes, after that, the interview ends without problems*

...

Next morning all signs of Superman in Metropolis have been vandalized, either by painting bats as moustaches or by painting Batman's suit and cowl over Clark's faces

Later, he realizes all his suits have been replaced with Bat-suits bought from a Halloween costume shop, the Planet's windows were covered with photos of Batman and his kids wearing the suits they stole (plus masks), the internet is full of Superman memes and there's a viral video of Batman seemingly flying like Superman, in Superman's suit, while still wearing the Bat-cowl, only for the image to pull back and show Batman strapped to the Bat-mobile's roof, that's being driven by Spoiler, who is cackling like an Arkham inmate.

[lovesick-joey]

the people wanted more youtube worldbuilding ^^

previous post

[batfam-stuff-posts-0]

Bruce: We're going to put everything we love in this box.

Jason: Can I put Dick in the box?

Bruce: no

Tim: Can I put Dick in the box?

Bruce: No.

Damian: Can I-

Bruce: NO YOU MAY NOT PUT DICK IN THE BOX!

Dick: *cries in My Brothers Just Admitted They Love Me*

[ultimate-marysue]

It's raining nonstop where I am so I'm just picturing the Batfam during a flood.

Red Robin uploads a TikTok from the safety of a roof saying "watch him go!" As Red Hood keeps trying to drive his bike against the current. A big wave comes by and he's slowly dragged downhill. The caption reads "don't drive during floods".

Batman and Robin are on the ground helping civilians out of cars when the intensity doubles and in minutes Damian goes from wading knee deep in the water to swimming. The emergency batfloaties get triggered and he floats away as Bruce fails to grab him by half an inch. "Robin serenely drifting in the current" becomes a meme.

Someone takes a picture of a very flustered spoiler trying to squeeze the water out of her cape. The second she lets go the weight of the water makes her fall ass over backwards. Black Bat ends up giving her her waterproof cape.

Signal makes mirages of sharks in the water to scare the shit out of any criminals. Oracle uploads the recordings with Benny hill as background music. Bludhaven escapes the worst of the storm and Nightwing sends pictures to the group chat patting the barely wet concrete just to rub it in. He still slips on a puddle and eats shit, Barbara sends that to the group chat.

[spicy-apple-pie]

help him

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

HC that the average life expectancy in Gotham is actually four years higher than the national average because they collectively just keep refusing to die

[little-miss-rasputin-pageant]

the general concensus being "if we die the clown wins"

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

[fallenangelvictorious]

Gotham really is the perfect scientist trap, like every scientist in the world is either at "I could fix it" or "I could make it worse" with a few that are like "I could study so so SO good it and win a Nobel"

It's basically the most frantic game of whack-a-mole/herding cats. All STEM majors have a 100-level required class on why you can't go to Gotham.

[dabblingreturns]

I bets that's really hard/confusing for the kid from Gotham who whent to school out of state and took Gotham 101 as an easy A.

And ends up fistfighting a TA because they used a Google image of her grandma's house in a slide show.

[somewhere-south-of-neutral]

New backstory for Calendar Man as a Gerontologist who just absolutely lost it

[sittingupwiththedead]

I am now imagining a Gothamite with one of those suicide prevention key chains except it says "I will not beat the clown to the grave." and people just know.

[smokeygrayrabbits]

Jim Gordon keeping a family tree of the bats with updated names and costumes cuz those guys switch up every couple months and never tell him so whenever someone has a costume change or gets more emo durring their teenage rebellion he's all like "that's great kiddo, but which one are you" like a grandparent with too many damn kids

[ideas-ideasideasideas]

You know the “Dad, How Do I?” YouTube channel? Yeah, that, but with Red Hood, and they’re unlisted videos that Crime Alley residents share with each other.

It started with goons stealthily taking videos of Red Hood ranting about shitty drug quality that they upload under the title “Boss on drug quality control,” primarily for other goons so that anyone can tell if the supplies have been cut with something and don’t need to waste time asking Hood.

Then videos from civilians start popping up too, featuring Red Hood lecturing street kids titled things like “RH on staying warm in winter” and “RH on how not to get mugged.”

Memorably, there’s a video titled “RH on classic literature (y’all did RH go to college???? Is our crime lord a lit major???)” where Red Hood imparts upon some kids the importance of reading. After a very positive reception, the uploader goes back to Red Hood, asks about a book they’re reading for school, and gets a whole lecture on themes and whatnot. It does numbers and becomes a series, and this time Hood knows the camera exists (he’s always known they exist, he just couldn’t be bothered to acknowledge them) and actually talks to it.

(Jason will do anything to help these children, whether it’s giving them a leg up in school, giving the street kids who aren’t in school some semblance of an education, or teaching them how to shank someone trying to traffic them.)

Red Hood never uploads any videos himself, but it doesn’t matter. Crime Alley crowd sourced its own version of Khan academy and it’s better for it.

[fact-dogsarehappiness]

Due to a popular request, the Wayne kids decide to shoot a ghost hunting video in the manor and Jason stands in the corner of the frame while the others ignore him just to fuck with the audience

[gaynaturalistghost]

…I had to.

[violentbat]

Gordon once flipped the Batsignal on during what he considered a disaster only Batman can get a handle on and about fifteen minutes later issue, an extremely annoyed looking Montoya gets all the way up there to tell him Batman's not going to be able to put a stop to the illegal street racing his kids are up to, because Batman is illegally street racing against them and witnesses have reported him shouting taunts at the kids and soundly beating them.