i have an extremely love/hate relationship with this community.
i’ve been doing a lot of reflection over the past week during my hiatus, and even though i’m overwhelmed with how much everyone would like me to come back, i’ve fully decided it’s just not possible.
i think it’s probably best that i start with the positives. i feel like (personally) i have done a lot for this community on tumblr.
when i first joined, i felt incredibly isolated. it seemed everyone around me who was active at the time that i joined had their established friendship groups or that i just was doing things differently in a way that they didn’t like.
i felt constantly on edge, but i persevered with lenneyswhore and then i started to feel more welcome. over the nearly a year period that i’ve been in ukytblr i can see that my blog (whether that be lenneyswhore or lenneyology) people have been able to feel like they are seen — kinky, or not.
i’ve enjoyed every single moment with you all. whether you are a mutual, an anon, a casual reader or even new to my blog, i’ve really cherished being able to share a bond (even if that’s through being horny) with you in some way, even if it’s on the internet.
and i mean that greatly! i’ve really enjoyed being able to create relationships with you all, even if they are through tumblr. i really do feel like during my time here i have met my people, so thank you for that!
a couple of personal highlights of mine are seeing a community where au’s were typically a foreign concept (my first ever fanfic on lenneyswhore was literally an au), to now seeing multitudes of creators, old and new, now taking on alternate universes whether that be in the form of a series or drabbles or full fics is absolutely amazing to me.
as well as this, i can see a lot more creators have become explorative in their works. i’m seeing a lot more kinks and different fetishes that weren’t written about when i first started.
stuff like somnophilia, pet play, piss kink, to name a few are things that weren’t very common in the community say seven months ago (especially from what i saw when i joined), but have become more commonly practised and honestly i am filled with such love and happiness when i see creators being able to portray their favourite sexual acts through their fanfictions.
and to see anons and users also share that happiness too! that’s what really fuels us as writers, seeing you guys’ positive reactions to experimental fics and concepts — it really does motivate us to keep going!
but, in all honesty, this community is incredibly toxic in certain aspects. i saw it when i originally started. creators accusing the new creators of stealing fic titles, to creators initially seeming very welcoming to not being welcoming at all. but that happens in every online community, and i think that’s just what happens.
so, in the past couple of months, seeing allegations that this community is ‘cliquey’ being thrown around has really baffled me. typically these people are sending these accusations to people unprovoked, which there is no reason for whatsoever.
creators in ukytblr do not owe you interaction. if anything, if you want to integrate within the community surely you need to interact with the content? and i can assure you that all the creators in the community are wonderful and are willing to accept each and every one of you with opening arms.
but to also constantly report someone just because they ruffled your feathers a little by standing up to your hate? surely you could act a little older for your age, especially as most of ukytblr are over the age of 18.
i suppose this also goes for sending hate to a creator for writing something you don’t particularly like. the saying ‘don’t like? don’t read’ or the content warnings on said posts are there for a reason.
we as creators don’t include them for a ‘laugh’ or as practically ‘word pollution’ they are there for your safety. for you to be able to filter out the content that you don’t like.
but some of you still go out of your way to consciously make the choice to send these lovely people hate. or get them flagged for mature content, just because for some reason you can.
now, i’m not saying that my blogs being flagged as mature is wrong, as i do agree that they do include mature content, but doing it out of the pure rage in your soul? it’s just a little bit childish, no?
from that aspect, i’m more upset and hurt by this community. hence the ‘love/hate’ relationship i hold.
my blog is supposed to be my safe space, my space to openly express my sexual fantasies and liberties, yet it seems that i cannot do that in this climate. and nor can other creators too.
as well as this, i’d like to think of my blogs as safe spaces for my followers too. i know a lot of people have discovered a lot of things about themselves through lenneyswhore and lenneyology, and to strip them of that because you want to bring me down is quite frankly extremely immature.
but from my own personal experiences with pissgate and being called a foid and all sorts of other horrible names, to being called a fatass because i retaliated (i do agree, in an extremely harmful way) to another hateful anon — can you not see that creators are tired?
creators in this community are constantly on edge because of this factor, and honestly, i don’t think they should be. like i mentioned earlier, we add our content warnings for your safety and the whole unspoken rule of ‘don’t like, don’t read’ applies so much in this situation, but some people don’t seem to understand that, i suppose.
i know many creators who are constantly having to delete or block anonymous asks because this community seems to be fuelled on hatred and malice at the moment, and it just needs to stop.
do some of you people forget that tumblr is the horny app? we’re not supposed to be at each other’s throats, we’re supposed to be united by freakiness and sexuality, not divided by hate.
what a creator doesn’t want to do is have to delete or block horrible asks. i don’t think anyone deserves someone to use the anonymous feature to send anonymous hate to their blog.
fanfic writers write for free. we provide a timely service to you for free, and you know damn well that we don’t have to.
we do it though because we want you to see our works, and to be able to engage with you all on a certain level.
as well as this, to be quite frank it’s just tiring. we don’t want to be in a constant battle with hate. one bad move and the smoke goes up in terrible flames. but that’s just how the internet works, and we can’t stop that.
i suppose what i’m trying to say is that after 3 appeal requests on lenneyswhore being unsuccessful and two on lenneyology as well, it’s time to hang up the digital keyboard and to place the digital pen down.
i’m just hoping maybe when i’ve gone ukytblr will be a better place, and that someone else can carry the kinky ukyt baton. hopefully this time with a lot less bad press as they do so.
