THE SPACE BETWEEN US
CHAPTER THREE
a/n: after a little mishap arises, you and will suddenly find yourselves sharing a secret
wc: 3.8k
warnings: none
Your first few weeks as a live-in nanny for the Lenneys passed by in a blur.
Slowly but surely, you began to adjust.
Janie did as promised and showed you how to make the kids breakfast - that alone had made your head spin. Isabella didn’t like too much sugar first thing in the morning, whereas Bea would happily have pancakes every day of the week. Victoria didn’t have them on a diet plan, but that didn’t mean that there weren’t rules - they had to start their day with some form of protein, and they had to have at least one piece of fruit, but it couldn’t be orange juice unless this was freshly squeezed.
Olly liked his porridge a very specific way, with five chunks of banana in the bowl. Just five, otherwise he’d throw a fit. (You’d found out that little tidbit of information after a very near miss when he’d chucked his bowl across the room directly at your head because you’d dared to put four instead of five slices. Coincidentally, that was the first time since your arrival that you’d seen Isabella crack a smile.)
You’d learned that Isabella was very particular about her clothes - in her room alone there were four different wardrobes, one for each season. Summer and winter clothes absolutely could not mix, and there had been a particularly stressful moment on your third day here where you’d had to diffuse a fight between a very heated eleven year old and the poor new maid that had dared to put a shirt in the wrong cupboard. That had also been the day where you realised that Anne’s question about strength and training wasn’t a rogue curveball meant to throw you off - everything you’d ever learned in self-defence lessons or sport in school coming to your aid as you’d had to all but wrestle Isabella off of the girl and into her room.
Bea, for her part, had been largely unproblematic as of yet. If you could count a vast amount of questions bordering on invasive as being unproblematic.
She was just curious, you told yourself. You were a new person in her life, and you’d lived a starkly different life than she had. That’s what you had to remind yourself when she pinched at your clothes for the fourth time in one day, asking what designer had made it and just barely hiding her grimace when you told her that it didn’t have a specific designer. Or when she decided that a fun breakfast activity would be to launch the strawberries you’d spent an inordinate thirty minutes cutting for them to put in their yoghurt at you when your back was turned.
And not to mention the daytime activities - they went to school during the week, of course, but you had absolutely not accounted for the sheer number of things that these children did to fill the hours in between.
You felt like a headless chicken running around after them, using the car that Will had very kindly lent to you to ferry them from place to place. Piano lessons, karate lessons, tennis coaching, fencing, swimming lessons, dance classes, language tutoring, birthday parties - the list seemed neverending.
You’d been so busy that you’d barely had any time for yourself. Normally, you’d be asleep the second your head hit the pillow, completely and utterly knocked out after a day of wrangling an over-excited Bea away from her father’s collection of very expensive cars that she insisted she knew how to drive, or a fussy three year old who refused to get changed into his pyjamas for two and a half hours. Isabella was still cold as ever towards you - something that you counted as a blessing for now, as this meant she largely stayed out of your way. She was eleven, after all, you figured she was more than capable of dressing herself or remembering to do her homework or brush her teeth.
However, it would come to appear that this lack of space to breathe or think was wearing down on you more than you’d realised.
It was just a game. A simple, innocent game of hide and seek to pass the time on a slow Saturday afternoon after all homework and activities had been completed for the day. Bea had all but begged for it, a mischievous glint in her eye as she’d done so. And, like an idiot, you had agreed.
The first few rounds had been fun - you took the opportunity to further learn the layout of this sprawling mansion, taking a few extra minutes to map the winding hallways and endless corridors as you walked through the house to find Bea and Olly, the latter of whom didn’t really understand the game quite yet, but his enthusiasm more than made up for it, if the squeals of delight he let out whenever you’d find him was anything to go by.
Isabella, true to form, was nowhere to be seen. You’d given them lunch before Bea had suggested the game, and Isabella had hopped off her barstool pretty much as soon as she’d swallowed her last mouthful, turning on her heel and disappearing out of the room before you could even open your mouth to say goodbye. You tried not to let it bother you, focusing instead on cleaning up from where Olly had decided to smear the butter from his sandwich all over his tray table and, somehow, his own forehead. Once the dishes were packed away and the kitchen wiped down, Bea had sidled up to you with that smile on your face that you’d come to associate with trouble over the last few weeks.
Which is how you found yourself here, slowly making your way up a large spiral staircase, eyes flicking from side to side as you searched for the little girl.
‘Bea? Beatrice, I’m coming to find you!’ You called out playfully, straining your ears to listen out for any sounds. A smile spread across your face when you caught the sound of a distant giggle, distinctly that of a cheeky seven year old. Next to you, Olly, who you’d found in about two minutes flat, pointed excitedly.
‘Bea!’ He shouted. You pressed your finger to your lips, shushing him through a grin.
‘Yeah, that’s right! Should we go find her?”
Olly nodded at once, setting off with slightly stumbling footsteps to where you’d heard the noise from.
‘You have to be quiet, though, we want to surprise her, okay? Can you be quiet for me, Olly?’ You whispered. Olly paused, thinking this over, before nodding resolutely and continuing his way down the corridor. You followed him at a safe distance, taking note of the doors into further offices and bedrooms that you supposed belonged to the numerous other staff that worked here alongside yourself.
One door, you noticed, was slightly ajar.
Speeding up slightly, you placed your hand on Olly’s shoulder to still him.
‘I think she’s in there. Should we go see? Quiet, remember.’ You whispered. Olly nodded, and you bit back a laugh as he crept towards the door, hands outstretched until they met the white wood. The door creaked open softly, and you smiled when you heard a soft giggle emanate from inside.
You crouched down until you were at Olly’s level, then pointed over to the corner of the room where you’d heard the noise.
‘I think Bea’s over there. Wanna go find her for me?’ You whispered. Olly’s eyes lit up as he nodded, and then he was padding over to the corner as you watched. He let out a loud shriek of delight when Bea exploded into giggles, shuffling out from her hiding place under the desk in the corner of the room.
‘Oh my goodness, Olly! You found her! Good job!’ You exclaimed, applauding as Bea stood up, dusting off her clothes as she did so. You fought a wince as you noticed the streaks of dust on her shirt and trousers - the girl’s clothing at seven was more expensive than anything you’d buy probably your whole life, so it always made you anxious to see them get dirty.
Bea seemed to notice your worry, and waved you off casually.
‘It’s fine, I’ll just ask Daddy to get me a new shirt. He says I’m gonna get a prize anyway, because I did all my homework last night.’ She explained as she led you and Olly, now resting on your hip, apparently worn out after such intense seeking, out of the room. You blinked, but let out a hum of acknowledgment.
Her flippant attitude never ceased to amaze you - how casual she could be about certain things. When you broke something valuable, it stressed you out beyond belief, your mind already running a million miles a minute trying to figure out how much of your paycheck would be going towards fixing it. Bea, on the other hand, didn’t seem bothered in the slightest, knowing that it would be taken care of.
‘Okay, I wanna play again. Count to one hundred, I’m gonna hide.’ She instructed, placing her hands on her hips as she spoke. You nodded very seriously, setting Olly down gently as you covered your eyes.
‘I want to play, too.’
The cool voice surprised a yelp out of you. You lowered your hands, covering your heart as you swivelled around to come face to face with Isabella.
‘Oh, Isabella, you scared me-’
‘I want to play. I’ll hide with Bea. Olly can stay with you, he can’t really hide very well.’ She interrupted, before turning to grab her sister’s hand. Bea’s brows furrowed at the gesture, but she didn’t question it. You cleared your throat, attempting to regain your composure.
‘Um- okay, that’s fine. What changed your mind?’ You asked. Isabella rolled her eyes.
‘Does it matter? I want to play now.’ She said. Your mouth opened and closed a few times, before you just shrugged. Her expression was unwavering as she stared at you, one eyebrow raised in a gesture you had no doubt in the world she’d gotten from her mother.
‘Okay, sure- I’ll count. Off you go, then.’ You made a shooing gesture with your hands, allowing yourself a small smile as the two girls ran off, the sounds of their laughter echoing throughout the house. You dutifully did as Bea said, counting to one hundred before setting off to find them, dropping off Olly in his room on the way.
You hummed softly to yourself as you searched. You’d insisted that you limit the boundaries of the game to inside the house, preferably within the surrounding area. Otherwise, you reckoned you’d be searching for days to find the girls if they were allowed free reign.
Smiling softly at passing staff, you made your way methodically through the area you’d agreed on, taking time again to make a note of which corridors led where, and what rooms were there. You could just about make out the sound of Will’s voice as he spoke from his office, his accent resonating through the house as he laughed at something one of his colleagues had said.
You kept an ear out all the while, listening for the telltale laughter or hushed whispers that would give the girls away. They’d run off together, so it would make sense to think that they would hide together, no?
Or so you thought.
It didn’t take long until you found Bea - the girl radiated chaos and vibrant energy wherever she went, so even when she was quiet, it was easy to sense her presence. You found her tucked away inside one of the spare bedrooms, laughing quietly to herself as she hid under the duvet.
Bea, but no Isabella.
You frowned, rounding the corner of the bed and ducking down to look under it.
Nothing.
Just unusually clean wooden floorboards and storage containers.
Weird.
You shuffled around to check in the wardrobes. Then in the en suite bathroom. In the shower, behind the doors. No sign of the girl.
Okay, you thought, maybe she was just taking this really seriously.
You left the bedroom, ducking into each room along the corridor in turn and scanning it from top to bottom. Bea trailed behind as you did so, providing a running commentary that admittedly was now starting to grate on you as your anxiety slowly slid into the driver's seat in your mind.
‘Bella doesn’t like to lose, so she’s probably just hiding really well.’
‘You didn’t tell her about the boundaries, did you? Maybe she’s gone outside, you should look there maybe.’
And finally: ‘Okay, this is boring now. I’m going to my room.’
You barely registered the sound of her receding footsteps over the sound of your blood rushing in your ears.
You’d checked all of the allotted area you’d allowed Bea to play in, and there wasn’t a trace of Isabella to be found. Your breath came in short, panicked pants now as you continued to search, becoming less and less careful as you burst into room upon room upon room, knees cracking repeatedly as you bent to check under desks and tables and beds.
Dragging your hand through your hair, you stopped in the middle of one hallway, breathing heavily. Anxiety clawed at your heart and chest, squeezing and squeezing until you could barely draw in a breath.
‘Fuck, fuck, fuck-’ You whispered to yourself, turning in a desperate circle.
‘Isabella? Isabella, the game’s over, you can come out now!’ You called out, wincing slightly at how loud your voice sounded in the empty hallway. Your shout drew the attention of one of the cleaning staff, who looked up at you with a rather offended look on their face as they paused from wiping down the sideboards.
‘Sorry- it’s just- shit, shit, shit.’
‘Is there a problem?’
The words stopped you dead in your tracks, a feeling akin to a bucket of cold water being dumped on you trickling down your spine as you slowly turned. Your heart gave a traitorous little leap as you locked eyes with Will. He was halfway out of his office, just the top half of his body visible as he looked you over, his eyebrows pinched together in a mixture of concern and surprise. He took in your flushed state, at the way you were gnawing at your bottom lip until it was red raw, at the wide, frightened look in your eyes.
‘What’s happened?’ He asked, voice low and even as he stepped fully out of his office, letting the door fall shut behind him. You pressed your hand to your mouth against the sudden sob that threatened to force its way out of your mouth.
‘I’m sorry- I just- we were playing, and now- now I can’t find her, and- fuck, I’m so sorry. Shit- sorry, I mean, I probably shouldn’t swear but- I’m so sorry, Mr Lenney.’ You rambled, voice climbing higher and higher as you explained, and you swallowed thickly around the lump in your throat as you felt hot tears begin to drip down your cheeks.
Will shushed you gently, stepping closer to place his hands on your shoulders.
‘Hey, it’s alright. Slow down, deep breaths. Then tell me what’s happened.’ He instructed. You did as you were told, taking a few slow, shaky breaths until it didn’t feel like you were about to explode on the spot.
‘We- Bea wanted to play hide and seek, and so we were playing. Then Isabella came and said she wanted to play too, but- I can’t find her anywhere. I’m so sorry.’ You wiped at your eyes, laughing derisively at your own emotion.
‘Okay. Don’t panic. I haven’t gotten anything from the groundskeeper that she’s left, so she must be in the house somewhere.’ He said, letting go of your shoulders and setting off down the hallway. You shivered slightly at the sudden loss of the warmth of his palms on your chilled skin, nearly tripping over your own feet as you followed him.
As the minutes stretched on, you found yourself losing hope by the second.
Any good impression you’d somehow managed to make on your employers was now almost certainly gone - you’d done the worst possible thing a nanny could do.
Will moved through the house like a fish through water, effortlessly navigating the maze of corridors and rooms, some of which you hadn’t even noticed were there in your panicked searching.
You followed hot on his heels, palms slick with sweat as the silence stretched out between the two of you. A thousand apologies rested on the tip of your tongue - justifications that you could do this job, that this would never happen again, that he could dock your pay, whatever it took.
But something you couldn’t quite place held you back.
Then, just as you came back to where you’d started, he suddenly stopped dead in his tracks. Will exhaled loudly, dragging his palm down his face, wedding band glinting under the chandelier above you two.
‘Oh, the little- I know where she is.’ He muttered through gritted teeth, combing his fingers through his hair. The anger on his face was palpable as he stormed off in the opposite direction, the movement so sudden you were left in the dust, stunned and wondering what the hell was going on.
‘Go back to Bea and Olly. It’s okay, I’ve got her.’ He shouted over his shoulder, not looking back at you as he turned to jog up a staircase you had apparently also missed in your whirlwind of frantic panic.
‘Um- okay.’
The children had long since disappeared to their rooms for bed by the time Will approached you again.
You’d helped Bea brush her teeth and braid her hair, dutifully sitting through her skincare routine and helping her sort through her multitude of moisturisers and lotions whilst you bounced a sleepy Olly on your lap. Isabella had drifted in and out, keeping her gaze lowered to the ground as she silently made her way through her nighttime routine.
The only time she'd addressed you directly had been to ask you to do her hair too after she'd watched you deftly weave Bea’s into a plait over her shoulder. The words had been soft, barely audible, but you recognised a gesture of apology when you saw one. It was better than being ignored, you figured.
Once the kids were asleep, you finally allowed yourself a moment to breathe.
You sank down onto your bed, massaging at your temples as you exhaled deeply. Lowering yourself onto the bed, your eyes fluttered shut, exhaustion slamming into you after the day's events. You debated texting your friend, who’d been hounding you for updates on how the new job was going, though you doubted she’d want to hear about how you’d probably fucked it up almost immediately, choosing instead to use the valuable alone time you had to squeeze in a suitable amount of doomscrolling. You honestly would've fallen asleep like that, curled up over the sheets in ridiculously soft silk pyjamas, if a soft knock hadn't jolted you out of your thoughts.
‘Um- come in.’ You called, hurriedly sitting up and smoothing your hair and clothes as the door opened. Your heart thudded erratically, adrenaline coursing through you at the sudden interruption.
‘Oh, Mr Lenney- is everything okay?’
Your heart skipped a beat as he stepped fully into the room, and you were suddenly very aware that all you were wearing was a pair of sleep shorts and a matching shirt that Janie had gifted you, both of which were barely considered actual items of clothing given how little they left to the imagination. Clearing your throat, you crossed your arms over your chest as you smiled at Will as he took a deep breath.
‘Listen- um, I just wanted to say sorry. For what happened earlier, with Isabella.’ He explained, twisting idly at his wedding band as he spoke, just to give his hands something to do.
‘Oh, no- it’s okay, really. It was completely my fault. I swear, it’ll never happen again.’ You said hurriedly, gesturing wildly as you jumped at the opportunity to explain yourself. Will just waved you off, shaking his head.
‘No, it wasn’t. Isabella intentionally went somewhere she knew you’re not permitted to go- I ended up finding her in mine and Vic's room, in the wardrobe. She wanted to get you in trouble, I think.’
What?
Your mouth opened and closed a few times, stunned. Isabella had done that on purpose? Will sighed heavily, walking over to your bed and dropping himself to sit on the edge, dragging his hands through his hair.
‘It’s- Bells is…..a difficult girl. She’s a wonderful child, but she’s just- exactly like her mother. She doesn’t really take kindly to new people.’ He explained, lifting his head to look you in the eye. Your heart softened at the earnestness in his expression, and you slowly lowered yourself onto the bed next to him, drawing your knees up to your chest.
‘It’s okay. I mean- it is difficult, I guess. My friend was here for so long, and now I’m here, and it’s obviously completely different. Plus, she’s only eleven. She’s still a child, really.’ You said quietly, reaching out to draw idle patterns on the bedsheets. Will made a noise of agreement, laughing softly.
‘Yeah- yeah, that’s it, really. She’s just- she’s young. Vic seems to think she’s a lot more mature than she actually is. Maybe because she’s the oldest, but- I don’t know. She’s still little, really. But- anyway, I just wanted to say that it’s not your fault, what happened. I’ve spoken to Bells, so she should be alright with you from now on.’ He said, clearing his throat against the sudden tightness he found there as he spoke, his hands drifting down to twist at his ring almost unconsciously.
‘Thank you. I appreciate it.’ You replied, smiling when he caught your eye once more.
‘Um- I think- I think this is something we keep…..between us, yeah? I know how Vic’ll react if it comes up, and I just don’t think that’s something you need to worry about. You’re doing a great job so far- and everyone makes mistakes, so….’ He said, tearing his gaze away from you as he stood up suddenly. You stayed seated, letting him take a few steps away to put some distance between you.
‘Yeah, of course. That’d be great, actually. Thank you.’
Will nodded once, the movement quick and sharp. Silence swelled between you for a second, stretching out into a long beat that bordered on uncomfortable as you looked at each other, understanding passing between you in that unspoken agreement.
‘Okay. Great. See you at breakfast tomorrow, then? Oh- Bea’s got an extra tennis lesson afterwards, I meant to say. I’ll give you the keys for the car in the morning. Don’t let me forget, okay?’ He said, pausing on the threshold of the door. You nodded along, reaching for your phone to make a quick note.
‘Got it. See you tomorrow, Mr Lenney.’
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