Russ Epp-Leppel

Author. Engineer. Armchair polymath. (@leppeppel everywhere online) SFFH or STFU | ADHD, Kinsey 2 | Memento Mori linktr.ee/leppeppel

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Poisoning yourself never looked this cool again...

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Today's aesthetic is... just what kind of animal are you?

(i.e. animals named after two other animals)

Elephant hawk moth, Deilephila elpenor

Raccoon butterflyfish, Chaetodon lunula

Tarantula hawk wasp, Pepsis grossa (not Mario expressing a preference for Coke)

Zebra bullhead shark, Heterodontus zebra

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Can't unsee it.

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Today's aesthetic is my Pokémonstrosities

Pikachu's red morpho, Paprikachu

If it's not an alternate evolution, Swoliv is to Smoliv as Wario is to Mario.

Mimetaster would be a fossil pokémon.

When the name "Charzard Binks" [sic] came to mind, I was worried I'd have to create it, so I was relieved to discover someone else had already beaten me to it. So here's Wattortle instead.

I could have made Wattoise look better, but the juice really ain't worth the squeeze.

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Today's Aesthetic: All aboard the Kludgemobile!

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Today's Aesthetic: Animal Pride Flags

I showed off some Bi Pride flags I designed on Monday, so let's keep it going with animal mascot Pride flags.

I already shared the Giraffe and Amphisbaena on Monday, but here they are again.

And here's Poly the Polyamorous Lobster in three different variations.

"Lizbian" (below): Thirteen species of whiptail lizards (Aspidoscelis sp.) are exclusively female and reproduce asexually. Or, more accurately, they reproduce unisexually. To increase fertility, they engage in pseudocopulation, where one female essentially tops another. So I made them a lesbian mascot and stuck one on a flag.

I also made a three-stripe and a labrys version.

And lastly, some BIson silliness:

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New animal Pride Flag: The Chicago Rat Hole X Transgender Pride

(based on this joke flag I made back in late January 2024)

[beardedmrbean]

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Today's aesthetic is twice as good as a skeleton: Two Skeletons!

Insert your own "Jaws of Death" pun here.

Memento mori, Homo.

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Today's Aesthetic: Giant Peeping Toms

And from the outside...

The late 19th century was a good time for dinosaurs looking in windows.

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Today's Aesthetic: Irradiated Water

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New DS9 fanfic: Quark discovers Rainbow Capitalism

So he's hosting a gay wedding reception (because Queers have DINK money), but then a group of Orthodox Bajoran fundies start protesting and creating general brouhaha. Quark tries to cater to both sides and avoid taking a stance, claiming he only cares about business and not politics, yadda yadda yadda. In the climax, the bigots threaten to take their business elsewhere and Quark just looks at them, points at the door, and hisses: "I don't want your business!"

I have this gif saved for unrelated reasons, but here it is anyway.

Cue dramatic gasp at a Ferengi turning down profit, but we've always known he was a bastard with a heart of gold. In the end, Ezri praises him for doing the right thing even if it cost him (in the short term), and he weakly tries to save face claiming there's more money in being an ally.

(This outline brought to you by two martinis and lingering Pride Month.)

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Today's Aesthetic: Comically Conjoined Characters

And a threefer:

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Tonight's aesthetic is a bit of a stretch...

The "pear of anguish" was allegedly a 15th-century torture device which would be inserted into the victim's mouth or other orifice, then screwed open, but there are basically no contemporary accounts even suggesting this use of it. Most extant examples are later (i.e. Victorian) replicas, and in truth, we simply don't know what the originals were used for.

That being said, the kink community aren't the kind of people to let a sexy idea go to waste, and so various models of expanding/locking plug have been developed in recent times, inspired the mysterious ancient gadgets.

The speculum and Jennings mouth gag do have legitimate medical uses, but they’re also quite popular in BDSM spheres for obvious reasons.

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Today's Aesthetic: Giant Mantids

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Today's Aesthetic: Breakfast Machines

Success in life isn't measured by the size of your bank account or how many people know your name; it's defined by whether or not you have a breakfast machine.

Witness Pee-wee's breakfast machine in its fullness here:

And Family Guy's homage/parody here:

But wait, there's more!

They were everywhere in the eighties and nineties.

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Tonight's aesthetic isn't Hammer Horror, but looks like it.

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Today's Aesthetic: outdated paleoart which nonetheless goes hard

...and more dinosaurs:

Here, T. rex is an upright "tail-dragger," as is the duck-billed Anatosaurus. An ankylosaur chills is the foreground, while a pterosaur and Triceratops occupy the background, along with fiery volcanoes. The overall scene gives "Dinos in the Garden on Eden" vibes.

It was once believed that Brachiosaurus lived in water to support its tremendous bulk, with its long neck and nostrils on top of its head acting like a snorkel and blowhole. (This is now known not to be the case.) Its forelimbs are also too similar to clawed elephant feet.

Atopodentatus and Helicoprion are competing for the title of "incorrect reconstruction of a prehistoric marine vertebrate with the wildest dentition."

Basilosaurus, AKA if whales were sea dragons:

The skeleton of the of the Greater Krayt Dragon in Star Wars isn't technically a reconstruction of any "real" animal (although the vertebrae are almost certainly casts of Dippy the Diplodocus), but it always makes me think of the fossilized basilosaurid skeletons found in Wadi el Hitan, "the Valley of the Whales."

The Jersey Shore, circa 80,000,000 BC (N.B. the last Elasmosaurus and the earliest Dryptosaurus were separated by approximately 10 million years.)

Interestingly, this late 19th century illustration imagines theropod dinosaurs (Dryptosaurus, in this case) as being highly agile and active, a concept which is much more in line with modern paleontological consensus but at odds with older notions of dinosaurs as sluggish, lumbering "tail-draggers."

Happy Fossil Friday!

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There's paleoart which is inaccurate because scientific knowledge has advanced, and then there's paleoart so anatomically baffling, I initially mistook it for AI slop.

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Found another wonderful piece: the "Demon Duck" Brontornis battling a hadrosaur (c.1902-1906)

Some more images from the Tiere der Urwelt (Animals of the Primeval World) card series:

Battling Pterodactylus antiquus

Definitely not stealing from Charles R. Knight with this one:

Elginia Mirabilis and Hyperodapedon gordoni

"Which of us would you say has the weirder-shaped head?"

I haven't found a complete gallery of these cards (yet), but I have found a series of blog posts about them: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

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Today's aesthetic is what little boys wore before they had pants.

From the mid-16th to early 20th century, young boys in Western culture wore gowns for convenience with toilet training and ease of adjustment as the boy grew. The time when a boy was mature enough to graduate from dresses to breeches (i.e. trousers) was known as "breeching" and marked with celebration as a rite of passage into manhood. These days, however, the old baby photos just look hilarious.

The Father of Cosmic Horror and creator of the Cthulhu Mythos, H.P. Lovecraft

Future President of the United States Franklin D. Roosevelt (left) and Nicholas II, eventual Emperor of Russia (right)

Boris Karloff, King of the Horror Movies

It somehow looks even more ridiculous in paintings and sketches. "You do know how to draw a child right?" "Umm, yeah, of course!"

Left: Afonso, Prince Imperial of Brazil

Even Wikipedia isn't sure sometimes.