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if i look back, i am lost
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@lesavant-blog
This is what I have to offer I'll paint my arms dark blue And then ask you why blood turns red I'll rip my ribcage wide open And hope you'll still look at me the same I'll learn every breath you take And follow your veins until they vanish I'll take you all in And expose myself to you endlessly All I have to offer you is me
In the end,
In the end, What is it that gets you off the couch When all you want to do is sleep What is it that makes you return that phone call When you don't want to say a thing What is it that tells you to keep going When every part of you is giving up
I am old strained sheets And the cold tea you won't drink I will breathe you in and out and pretend I've done it all before I will hate your presence but miss your absence even more The screaming in my head never stops I push you out and pull you back in I'm the smoke you're inhaling and the reason you stick needles in scars just to see if any pain will rise
The voices in my head are still screaming.
You're not the problem here
There's a heart shaped mole on your forearm I never noticed before today Until you held my arms tight begged me to look at you All I could do was stare at the way your veins rise and how warm your hands felt Your collarbones moved as your shoulders cave and your head falls just slightly I can hardly feel myself when your eyes are wet I just watched the tear drip from your chin off to infinity Finally free, unlike me
This is the color of you
We stood on the dock It had rained, but suddenly stopped The sky was a violent gray And the waters just the same Except In the depths of them Stood unspoken words And a sadness drifts over us Breathing in We read the sky And the water too Your eyes were as dark as the lines between the trees And you turn to me “This is the color,” you say, “This is the color of your eyes.” And you reach your hand to the skyline Where the grays of the sky meet the subtle movement of the deep blue gray of the water And it spoke Not with words but the intensity of feeling within a dream And we listen Not with our ears because all was silenced But the rhythm in our chest understood the quiet And we kiss And I fall in love with you just the same As I did that day When I woke up to those lips on mine Confused in reality I realize you are not only my dreams You are the moments in between
Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out your ass. That’s the kind of person that’s worth sticking with.
Juno
The thing is you will change and you will live multiple different lives and you will sit back years from now and remember who you were where you use to be, I just hope you're smiling.
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Kahlil Gibran
When you were young I held you close to my chest I breathed in your breath and I didn’t mind because then we were small we didn’t know any better
We were never told that breathing in another’s breath is how you lose the strings that tie reality together
No one ever told us that falling asleep to the rhythm of someone’s heartbeat is how your own heart shatters
No one ever told us that
And yet,
Here I am and so are you I almost suffocate in the essence of you
I guess, I never learned because I’ll still drown in your air infinitely
"I grasped two things: I wasn’t as happy as I could be, and my life wasn’t going to change unless I made it change."
Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project
People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.
Jim Morrison
He says, 'you are a blue flame not because your heat is hottest because your flame is the most consistent.'
I am loving you more every day Though our love in just a tiny sapling sprouting through the hard earth it is being nurtured and it does grow I feel it I can feel its roots spreading in my chest And one day our sapling will no longer be so young it will one day bloom And when that day comes I hope our love doesn't fear the sun I hope we embrace it
You awaken me
You hold me throughout the night. I wait for you to tire of my restless kicks and groans. But you only seem to cling to me tighter. You have an aura of warmth and I am lost within your arms. You quench my thirst. As I wake softly, I burrow my face into the soft fur of your chest and I melt like butter over you. Your smooth lips caress mine, always so gently as though it is the last time I will taste their sweet nectar. You fill me up. When you must go, you stay longer than you should just to give me five more kisses and tell me how the stars in the sky shine brighter than they ever have before since you've met me. And you never fail to look me deep in the eyes to tell me how the color has changed. You overflow me. When you leave my bed and I feel the chill of the morning succumb me, you grab a heavy quilt to cover me up and tuck me in. You kiss my forehead and then open the blinds just slightly so when the sun comes out I can rise with it. You awaken me.
