Baffled, but happy

[valtsv]

wore my thigh high boots on a walk today and we had to take a path through some long grass and while everyone else was rolling their pants into their socks and putting on jackets to protect themselves from ticks i was standing there smug as hell in my thigh high leather boots.

[valtsv]

a hoe never gets lyme disease

[perditionsflames]

[yr-tiktok-mom]

[chilewithcarnage]

[00000000000000z-deactivated2022]

happy Mother’s Day to these two queens

[dsmsix]

[dsmsix]

[berrycobbler]

it's so hardcover –> we're so paperback

[librarylurker]

this post is making me pronounce hardcover in a way i never considered

[oneminutefiftysixseconds]

are you a male ski jumper alleged to be pursuing marginal gains that could yield up to a 5-8 metre increase in flight distance or are you just pleased to see me

[madisoneliseeeeee]

Hey you wanna come over and dip bread into olive oil and balsamic vinegar and such?

[prokopetz]

The whole "the Old Magic actually sucks because material conditions have advanced" thing, but applied to cinematic martial arts. No, yeah, the legends are true, that move used to explode a man's entire skeleton, but you need to understand that people had more fragile bones back then. Poor nutrition, you see.

[prokopetz]

This five-point meridian strike is meant to make your head burst like an overripe melon, but it turns out it only works on people who have peripheral nerve damage from chronic vitamin B12 deficiency, which everyone did at the time it was developed. If you take your multivitamins it just makes your ears ring.

[wuntrum]

i am nooooot locked the fuck in. im locked the fuck out. call the locksmith

[enki2]

[hymnism]

making a collection

[miiilowo]

I'm inventing a new game called For Fucks Sake where you're sewing and spill like 20 silver needles onto your floor that is the exact same color just not as shiny and you have to find all the needles

[puppygirllaika]

I've gotta stop doing all my sewing on this fucking haystack.

[maryoliveoil]

This is so fucking funny

[rosemaryslullaby]

[cyberxbattalion]

[purpleisdebeste]

I’m sorry Orpheus i was too harsh on you…

[purpleisdebeste]

i was in the physics lab today and we were working with lasers, so the Lab Freaks (legal name) were being very careful to stress that we Do Not Turn Around or Look Behind Us because we’ll get extremely blinded by the power of high strength lasers

and i’m not gonna lie it was actually extremely hard to resist turning around. i misjudged orpheus it turns out this isnt extremely easy actually

[purpleisdebeste]

okay i’ll be honest i 100% looked back at the lasers. actually multiple separate lasers multiple different times. they were pretty

and i didnt get blinded. so clearly lab safety isnt real and you should always risk it cus taking risks is awesome #gambling

but uh. my ass is NOT making it out of the underworld 🔥🔥🔥

[overnightshipping]

[offshoreoilrig]

whispering "do it scared" to myself before taking a deep breath and entering the bank to commit my first armed robbery

[fatestayyuri]

whenever i go back through my blog to look for something i end up wasting a lot of time just looking at the posts because for some reason it's full of stuff i would reblog