be a lover

Ash 23 They/Them

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

breaking news: prince philip, the dad from the royal family, is a nasty little thottie. and he just died from making it clap on instagram

[neenarchive]

if donald trump dies do you think they will prop him up weekend at bernie's style for the rest of his election campaign

[neenarchive]

the next debate

joe biden: and that's why given the chance that that that i would yes i would no i wouldn't yes i would

donald:

[senritsu]

I hate the whole backlash like ‘you say touch starved but you actually just mean horny’ NO I mean when I was getting my hair cut there was a moment where the hairdresser tilted my head to the side and the top of my head brushed his chest and my brain short circuited with endorphins because it thought I was being held

[lesfleurspoussent]

I really think it’s the opposite most of the time like a lot of people are touch starved but say horny because it’s “funnier” and easier to deal with. A few years back I thought I had a sex addiction but I realized I was just very lonely and using sex to have any sort of human connection

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[carrionthird]

"Stop scrolling and please help me spread the word, because if I've landed on your page you're most likely either a black woman or someone who cares about black women and the simple phrase I'm about to share could help save a black woman's life.

Doctors are to black women what police officers are to black men. That may seem controversial but I believe it to be true and I speak from personal experience.

If you've seen this TikTok you know that a 2016 study showed that 50% of medical students and residents thought that black people couldn't feel pain the same as white people.

And we learned from this video that because of a 1999 study, to this day, there's a black correction factor for the creatinin levels in black people's kidneys, meaning we're less likely to recieve a kidney transplant if needed.

So if you go to a doctor, feel you aren't getting proper treatment or they refuse the treatment you've requested, say to them the following:

I will need you to document on record that you are refusing the treatment (or medicine) I've requested, and the reason you are doing so."

[xenosagaepisodeone]

people need to stop leaving this website. being on Twitter is like being teleported to the bottom of the ocean and being crushed instantaneously except instead of by water it is by out of this world opinions

[zoobus]

no influencers no functionality no gods no kings no bluechecks

[xenosagaepisodeone]

all content on this site is sponsored because regardless of the quality of the alternatives I still pay dearly for every second I choose to stay here

[tinderpodcast]

To all the girls who “Love adventures”

[optimalmongoose3]

A trip to 7-11 at 12:am is most definitely an adventure

[mia-beak]

If y’all don’t know how to treat mundane life experiences with awe and wonder at the world then maybe it’s *you* that’s probably boring that’s all I’m sayin

[lesfleurspoussent]

Why are men so fucking boring

[b16673b75pr6575-64558d45f7hs74]

[fanatictower]

someone add anime George Washington

[mattachinz-deactivated20200529]

say no more

[groovyships]

Why the absolute hell are there so many bad takes on dead people

Someone continue the saga

[theywontletmebeprincipal]

fellas, we’ve done it

[officialfist]

GOD AWFUL WORK BASTARDS, LEAVE THIS PLACE AT ONCE!

[theywontletmebeprincipal]

what are the other two and what can I do to surpass them

[officialfist]

Honestly you can’t surpass the HIV Hamilton fic reveal post and the dashcon announcement post so this is third.

[theywontletmebeprincipal]

you’re right, you’re right, gotta respect the classics

[the-biggest-jord]

@officialfist the fucking WHAT

[officialfist]

@nuggetfucker9000 here you go

[urbanfantasyinspiration]

God how can I leave tumblr when things like this wack me across the jaw every day

[godofthepans]

I feel like someone punched me in the face and I’m still processing it

[darkmeow159]

Why does this keep happening

[takineko]

How is this post worse than human pet guy?

[intjint]

Human pet guy only said really gross things. These people did shit

[go-drink-the-kool-aid-deactivat]

Human pet guy, while weird, was at least entertaining

[wintercoffin]

Thats not the same human pet guy that killed a man is it?

[b16673b75pr6575-64558d45f7hs74]

Can you guys fucking have this conversation somewhere else

[sjdsjkdlskdas-deactivated202012]

so do you want to educate yourself and others or do you derive pleasure from the idea of being ideologically superior to others?

[sjdsjkdlskdas-deactivated202012]

do you actually want to better yourself and the world around you or do you just like one-upping people in ethical coversations?

[catsbeaversandducks]

[newgoofbootin]

this photo set gets me every single time. The absolute chaotic narrative of if all. The feral expression of sheer blissful abandon. How much did they already EAT to get so much gooey crumb mess on their face. What even is the PHYSIQUE of this cat?? Spindly slenderman of a creature must, can, and WILL have pink frosting at all costs

[cikero]

cats be like damn we are cuddling 😳 what if I bit you for no reason

[vendata-remaking-deactivated202]

i knew the miku binder thomas jefferson artist shipped the game grumps and is a boot licker but did i really need to find out they made a game grumps hamilton au and made alexander hamilton arin and drew him in a hello kitty binder 

[flagellant]

i wish this sentence was as incomprehensible as it should be if this timeline were not wretched and fit merely for the pyre

[kedamonokult-deactivated2023030]

That same artist also drew porn of their teachers. Like…actual real life teachers they knew. You forgot that part.

[gerbildine]

This keeps getting worse

[aspergersprincess]

Auditory Processing Problems

• *someone says something* “what?” *repeats themselves* “sorry?” *repeats themselves again* “pardon?”

•"hey, y'see the red thing at the top of the shelf, will you get it?“ “Sorry, what?” “On the sh-” “oh yeah sure, I’ll get it.”

•*doesn’t hear teacher because someone’s pen is making a scratchy sound at the back of the room*

•*replays video 10 ten times to figure out what they’re saying*

•teachers asking, “why do you always stop writing in the middle of a sentence, just write down whatever I’m saying,” followed by the response, “I’m just processing it,” rebuked by, “we’ll stop processing it and just write.”

•*gets really focused on staring out the window and goes through four songs without hearing a single on*

[jaspurr]

someone is whispering to their friends in the library, you don’t even know who this person is but you know their major, what state they grew up in, and their hobbies during high school. you just wanted to find a quiet spot to do your chemistry homework.

wanting to chime in on other people’s conversations all the time, but don’t, because you’re not suppose to be “listening” to them.

being the only person in the house that can hear that awful buzzing sound certain electronics make

hiding in your room because everything is too loud. 

motorcycles were invented by satan

being told that you have dog-like hearing by friends and family

being yelled at for “not listening” by friends and family. 

[ossuariies]

God. God. God. God.

[milliecoyote]

This entire post is so fucking relatable it hurts

[winterwombat]

“You just need to learn to tune it out.”

Forgetting how to think because ambient noise is drowning out your internal monologue. 

“No, I don’t need the volume up, I’d just really like to put on subtitles. No, I don’t need to move closer, I just…”

Leaving the room whenever someone starts talking on the phone. 

Pausing your video whenever someone starts talking but trying really really hard not to seem passive aggressive about it. 

Struggling to explain why this one sound is the most horrible thing in the world while other very similar sounds are fine. 

[vibinwitch]

you’re trying to listen to what some very important person is trying to say, but you can only focus on the conversations of the ppl around you

[cupcakeslushie]

sitting in a restaurant and thinking the people sitting next to you are being SO loud because you can hear everything they’re saying, but when you mention it you get weird looks so obviously you’re just overreacting.

not being able to handle the little keyboard sounds as your mom types a text from across the room, but when you ask your mom (who is a quadruple texter) to put her phone on silent you get a murderous look, like you’ve asked her to kill her cat.

turning on ambient noises and trying to relax, only to end up turning it off because it’s not actually helping you fall asleep.

“the speakers are making this high pitched noise”

“what the hell are you talking about?”

“THE SPEAKERS ARE PRACTICALLY SCREAMING HOW DO YOU NOT HEAR THAT??”

“Just ignore it, and focus on the show.”

[run-on-lightning]

people telling me “how the fuck can you hear the wall clock ticking but not understand a word im saying when im talking to you??” (i swear i’m not ignoring you, i just can’t process your words)

[runaon-deactivated20200126]

and the absolute kicker:  it took me nearly three decades of life to realise that all of the above meant I had an auditory processing disorder because, quite frankly, it isn’t discussed enough.  and by enough, i mean at all.

[the-kitteh]

I… experienced way too many of these not to be stunned right now.

[bertie-w-wooster]

i have… most of these??

[weaver-z]

Every DnD game that starts out with a serious “Lord of the Rings” type of tone turns into a Monty Python sketch and every DnD game that starts out like a Monty Python sketch turns into Lord of the Rings

[weaver-z]

DnD game with characters named Kua the Brave, Enoch Bluehelm, and Hallow Greaves: Our current mission is to save the kingdom from the Dark Queen Ravenbone but we fucked up a charisma roll and now Kua and Ravenbone are dating and the king of Fendale was turned into a frog

DnD game with characters named Bunny Wabbit, Ford Trukk, and Dildo Baggins: Our current mission is to find a birthday present for a spoiled prince but in the process we found a lich planning to devour the life force of everyone in the land and Dildo gave his life to stop him in a scene so moving it won the Newberry Medal

[theaustinstollhaus]

If you give your players room to do whatever they want, including be silly, they will most often choose to express themselves. And you'd be amazed how much you'll start to care about characters once people have attached little pieces if their soul to them.

If you try to enforce a "serious" tone, it just makes the gags funnier, and your players will treat you with the same casual blasphemy orangutans show to God.

[a-humble-waffle]

"the same casual blasphemy orangutans show to God" WHAT THE FUCK I'M DECEASED

[worldscissoringchampion]

here is a petition to reopen Sandra Bland’s case 

[teaboot]

"I was unhappy with my service, and I will not be coming back!"

Cool. Don't

[teaboot]

"Be sure to pass my complaint along to management." I won't. In fact, I'm going to tell him you left a compliment. Eat ass

[teaboot]

"You've lost a customer!" No. No, I wouldn't call this a loss

[teaboot]

Ma'am I know this may come as a shock to you but the reason you're unhappy everywhere you go is because every time you go somewhere, you are there. And I can sympathize. Because I'm experiencing this problem right now, too. But together. I believe we can make it through this

[teaboot]

Ma'am. Ma'am. Ma'am. Ma'am. Ma'am. Ma'am. Ma'am. Ma'am. Ma'am. Ma'am. I don't care

[2-beadyeyes-deactivated20251104]

if i go to silent hill and there arent any of those thotty little nurse binbos trying to stab me im fucking stealing shit

[itzbatz-deactivated20240722]

can you imagine if coronavirus happened in like 2013. this site would be like "ALRIGHT LISTEN UP MOTHERFUCKERS TODAY YOU ARE GOING TO DO A LEARN ABOUT ~SOCIAL DISTANCING~"

[kiddthemaniac]

LUCKILY FOR *YOU* HANDSOME BASTARDS, OUR LORD AND SAVIOR BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH IS E X A C T L Y SIX FEET TALL.

SO NEXT TIME YOU’RE CHILLING WITH YOUR MOIRAILS, IMAGINE A BEAUTIFUL BENDYPOO LYING ARSE NEKKID ON THE FLOOR BETWEEN YOU. CAN’T FIT A WHOLE SHERLOCK?

THEN YOU’RE T O O  F U C K I N G C L O S E GOD DAMN IT. 

[neon-nobody]